Yay Pope!
Posted on October 26th, 2009 by Tintin
Shorter Msgr. Ross Xavier Pius Douthat, S.J., O.P., O.F.M., S.S.J., Th.D+, The New York Times Pope-Ed Page
Benedict’s Gambit
- Pope Benedict is so kicking that Muslim-loving Archbishop of Canterbury’s butt. And another thing: Elton John really sucks.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
To be fair, Elton John really does suck.
Incorrect NYT link, Tintin. Here’s the correct one:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/26/opinion/26douthat.html
[Tintin adds: Fixed.]
Wrong link. You want http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/26/opinion/26douthat.html
Well if I can’t be first with a correction I can at least note that my bugmenot login for the NYT today is danceonyrgrave.
To be fair, Elton John really does suck.
He’s a great piano player but he sucks on the organ.
Thank you very much, I’ll be here all week!
@Major Kong: Elton John may well suck, but I’m wondering if I can get a job at the NYT too in order to tell its readers which pop artists I like and which I don’t.
Look for Pope Benedikt to have “unity” as his theme when he addresses the next Parteitag in Nuremburg.
Heh, it’s Mullah Douthat…
I find this all easier to understand if you treat bigotry like it’s a scarce resource, sort of like platinum. Or truffles.
And Ratzo has seen the Anglicans and said, “Mmm, that looks like a valuable reserve of bigots, I’ll have that, thanks.” Except Mooslims want their quota of bigots as well, you know to keep wimmins in teh kitchen and teh gheys in teh kloset. And mullahs living in luxury.
So Catholics and Muslims are, erm, eternal foes or something, because they end up fighting over strategic bigot reserves. Otherwise it’s pretty fucking hard to figure out what they want to fight over, it’s not like the fundies disagree over much except the names of their prophets.
I’m amused by the fundamental dishonesty of the column. Ratzinger is plainly trying to trade liberal Catholics for the most backward of Anglicans. I’m so glad I’m not Catholic or religious any more.
Shorter Pope Ratzki-Watzki: Theology, schmeology. Y’all Anglican reactionaries hate gays and wimmins as much as we do! Let’s party!
Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™
Of COURSE Elton John sucks! He’s GAY, fercrissake!
Indeed. Let us return to the ways of the past, when churches really knew how to settle their conflicts.
There was an article in the Boston Globe today about how few Episcopalians are going for it. NEENER!
Holy Shit! This like the 20th time in line for you, Ross.
“Practice makes perfect” isn’t what I’d call it, Ross.
Oh well, open wide!
“At the same time, the pope has systematically lowered the barriers for conservative Christians hovering on the threshold of the church, unsure whether to slip inside”
OMFG, this guy is still writing about his Chunky Reese Witherspoon episode!!!
Why no, I do not pay for a Times subscription. No. Also.
The relief in Douhat’s column is palpable. For a long time, anti-gay Episcopalians had no alternative but to turn to the conservative wing of the Anglican/Episcopal church, which was dominated by…gasp…Africans! Who are bishops and all, even though they’re black! Thank God, literally, that the Pope is giving Episcopalian homophobes a decent, white-run refuge.
Gritting my teeth and forcing myself to trust the shorter.
“At the same time, the pope has systematically lowered the barriers for conservative Christians hovering on the threshold of the church, unsure whether to slip inside”
That’s some hot shit right there.
So, you go to the New York Times opinion section, and on one side you have the Nobel (close enough) prize winning economist and long-time guy right on everything the Bushies got wrong, Paul Krugman, and balancing him out on the other side you have ‘chunky Reese Witherspoon’ loathing dumbass Ross Douchehat.
Thank God, literally, that the Pope is giving Episcopalian homophobes a
decent, white-run refugereacharound.Fixed for accuracy.
Wait, what’s the story with this “chunky Reese Witherspoon” thing? Did he actually say that Reese Witherspoon was “chunky”????
Oh, never mind. I remember now. Poor kid, early-onset impotence is rough.
Wait, what’s the story with this “chunky Reese Witherspoon” thing?
She also comes in creamy and organic.
Wait, that didn’t come out right…
I guess those of us who are Jews or Eastern Orthodox Christians should start watching our backs? Seems to me that the last time Western Christendom made sure to present a unified opposition to its enemy of Islam, Western Christendom decided to start killing a bunch of Jews and plundering the positions of Eastern Christians on its way over to fight said Muslims.
And certain Jewish conservatives think that these Christian soldiers are our political allies because they “support” Israel? Don’t these supposedly religious Jews pay any attention during the martyrology service at Yom Kippur (or are they too busy getting hot and bothered by the letter of the 93 virgins to pay attention to any other aspect of that service?) — how many Jewish communities were wiped out by crusaders? Religious reich “support” of Israel should get a big “do not want” from us Jews, shouldn’t it?
what’s the story with this “chunky Reese Witherspoon” thing?
He described some young lady who he hooked up with at a bar as a “chunky reese witherspoon” before he decided not to sleep with her.
In some crappy book he wrote, the usual suspects have all ripped him to shreds for being a
clownish prudedreadful writer.She also comes in creamy and organic.
So many squirting jokes, so little time…..
I kind of giggle at this because it’s like the NYT was compelled to hire some high-school journalist wannabe in some bid to affirmative action.
Sorry, some dipshit, redneck, high-school journalist wannabe.
At any rate, it sure does make the NYT look more like an amateur outfit run by wiseass punks who think they know everything. Incrementalism, it creeps.
So, you go to the New York Times opinion section, and on one side you have the Nobel (close enough) prize winning economist and long-time guy right on everything the Bushies got wrong, Paul Krugman, and balancing him out on the other side you have ‘chunky Reese Witherspoon’ loathing dumbass Ross Douchehat. – El Cid
I know a conservative who argues (in all seriousness) that this sort of thing is evidence of the media being full of liberals — that they find liberals who are right about things and balance them out with nutty, wrong-headed conservatives. He argues that if the media really were fair and balanced and without liberal bias, they’d find better conservative commentators.
The thought that while certainly not all liberals are as correct about things as Krugman (and indeed some of us moonbats are indeed, well, batty), that the NY Times has Krugman rather than Lefty McMoonbat on its Op-Ed pages isn’t evidence of some liberal conspiracy to sweep Lefty McMoonbat under the rug nor is the NY Times giving column space to the likes of Ross “I couldn’t get it up to fool around with Ms. McCain” Douthat evidence that the NY Times is trying to make conservatives look bad. I’m sure if there were a conservative columnist around who wasn’t nucking futs, the NY Times would be more than happy to put forth a better face for the political right.
It’s not a biased selection if the one you choose is representative of the movement …
hovering on the threshold of the church, unsure whether to slip inside
“Let’s go to church.”
“Come to church with me.”
“I was in church all morning.”
“Glory, glory, Hallelujah!”
Veiled anal sex references.
My post got eated …
in response to this
So, you go to the New York Times opinion section, and on one side you have the Nobel (close enough) prize winning economist and long-time guy right on everything the Bushies got wrong, Paul Krugman, and balancing him out on the other side you have ‘chunky Reese Witherspoon’ loathing dumbass Ross Douchehat. – El Cid
I pointed out that some people would argue this is evidence of how the NY Times has a liberal bias. If they were unbiased, they’d find a better conservative writer than Ross Douthat. The argument is the NY Times and similar organizations purposefully put forth nut-cases to represent conservatism to make conservatism look bad.
Since my comment was eated and I don’t have time to put forth the rest, I leave it to my fellow Sadlies to figure out the reasonability of that argument …
“Glory, glory, Hallelujah!”
Veiled anal sex references.
Needs fixin’
“Glory, glory, Holelujah!”
There! Fixed!
OT, and partly self indulgent partly advice-seeking, but today I get an email telling me that John Boehner is following me on Twitter. And it does look like the real Boehner.
Anyone know why/how it happens that random lurkers get tagged like this, especially when pretty much my only schtick is mocking wingnuts?
I’m all in favour of the bigots moving to the catholic church. Once they are gone, the church of england can get back to what it is REALLY all about.
Being a respectable social club for old biddies.
Shorter shorter:
Hey Protestants! Subsume your religious beliefs in service of politics!!
Someone please, please, please tell me how this sucktacular shitpile of sophistry got this sweet writing gig at the NYT. I don’t fucking get it.
If using nutcases as mouthpeices made conservatism look bad, we never would have had the last eight years.
how this sucktacular shitpile of sophistry got this sweet writing gig at the NYT
Asked and answered.
What’s being interpreted, for now, as an intra-Christian skirmish may eventually be remembered as the first step toward a united Anglican-Catholic front — not against liberalism or atheism, but against Christianity’s most enduring and impressive foe.
Is Douthat unaware that Ratzi views the godless and “moral relativists” as his greatest foes, or is he just a dishonest hack?
I know, both can be true. But which is true in this case?
UGH. I should have trusted the shorter!
Douthat is like William Kristol in nun drag. He comes across as creepy and unctuous in ways that even supereme creep-o Kristol couldn’t begin to muster if he tried…
The pasty little putz is also stunningly ill-informed about both Episcopalians and what the Archbishop of Canterbury actually said. Well, nothing new there, actually… He’s stunningly ill-informed about just about everything that he extrudes into one of his “columns.”
OT, and partly self indulgent partly advice-seeking, but today I get an email telling me that John Boehner is following me on Twitter. And it does look like the real Boehner.
Heh. You’ve got a
bonerBoehner following you. Look out! It’s right behind you!Sorry for the copypasta, but here is MoDo on the same page of the times as Douthat:
“The church enabled rampant pedophilia, but nuns who live in apartments and do social work with ailing gays? Sacrilegious!…
As the Vatican is trying to wall off the “brides of Christ,” Cask of Amontillado style, it is welcoming extreme-right Anglicans into the Catholic Church — the ones who are disgruntled about female priests and openly gay bishops. Il Papa is even willing to bend Rome’s most doggedly held dogma, against married priests — as long as they’re clutching the Anglicans’ Book of Common Prayer.
“Most of the Anglicans who want to move over to the Catholic Church under this deal are people who have scorned women as priests and have scorned gay people,” Briggs said. “The Vatican doesn’t care that these people are motivated by disdain.”
The shorter is that Pope Benedict is the Nixon of the Catholic church, and pandering to the most prejudiced of the Anglicans is his Southern Strategy. This is obvious to MoDo & me, who grew up as working class cultural Catholics. Douthat is one of the next generation young rich white catholics who forgot where they came from and think Jesus preached more about abortion and sex than poverty.
Honus, Douthat is a convert from some evangelical/fundamentalist sect. There’s nothing more rabid than a convert…
Seems to me as if Mr. Red Shoes is coming around to the realization that dear old Mama church is gettin’ her butt whupped by Evangelicals and Mormons among the profoundly ignorant.
He must now gleen the fields of the mainstream denominations for the few seeds of bigotry and recationism left behind as the flocks move forward (hows that for a metaphor mashup?) Actually, I think he’s picking through the shit from the flocks for the totally undigestible bits in the poop.
Marion,
So true. They convert because they like the repressive aspects of catholicism. Just like the Anglicans Benedict is trying to recruit.
Cake or Death!
I find this all easier to understand if you treat bigotry like it’s a scarce resource, sort of like platinum. Or truffles.
That is an interesting way to look at it! Indeed, they do seem to be trying to corral all the throwbacks for themselves.
Though it should be pointed out they are also exploring ways of making bigots out of non-bigots and making sure that existing bigots have a shitload of kids who will, if the churches are lucky, grow into more bigots.
I find this all easier to understand if you treat bigotry like it’s a scarce resource, sort of like platinum. Or truffles.
And there are several different extremist groups all trying to corner the market.
Well, Honus, as a cradle Episcopalian and member of an Anglo-Catholic parish (The Pasty Little Putz would be amazed that we don’t egg statues of the Virgin Mary, and actually say the Angelus after Mass…) I can assure you that not all of us are bigots! Not only do we have wimmens on the Vestry, we’ve got wimmens with Teh Ghey on the Vestry. It’s kinda like being a soft-shelled Catholic — we get all the fun of smells and bells without having to deal with himself in Rome.
Look out! It’s right behind you!
Yeah, but a small part of me is sort of proud too. I mean, this is like slack-heaven, I’ve literally done nothing to earn any sort of tweet following but there it is. Then again, (accidentally?) tailgating me might also show how completely clueless the GOP still is with intertubz technology… probably more likely.
There was no liberal conspiracy in hiring Krugman. Krugman has said that he was offered the job before Dub was heir apparent to rule the empire.
Krugman was going to write boring Herbet and Kristoff style wonk econ columns to provide much needed extra gray for the Gray Lady.
In the late 90’s Krugman was still mostly known for being a downer on them libs for supporting globalization (whatever that means, or meant).
Marion,
I come from a suitably large catholic family, with four sisters that regularly attend mass, were married in the church, and all of whom use (or used, we’re getting on now) birth control. My mother, both grandmothers, and my seven aunts on both sides were the kind of ladies that said the rosary twice a day and went to mass each morning. I personally served 7am mass daily for two years, since my dad would drop me off at catholic school at 6:30 on his way to work each day and hence I was the only altar boy always there an hour and a half before school started.
I’ve also been on your side of the aisle. While I was in law school the university parish that was a half hour drive had no cry room and I had two toddlers. So my wife and I started going to the episcopal church a couple blocks down the street. The four of us simultaneously doubled the size and cut the average age of the congregation in half. After a few month they made me a eucharistic minister, since I knew how to dress the altar from my aforementioned altar boy days.
So this Anglican/Catholic thing that Douthat finds so interesting isn’t new. It’s just the appeal to bigotry that’s different. And of course, by Douthat’s lights, I should be excommunicated due to my attendance at the Episcopal church. But I prefer Father Greely’s thesis that it’s the catholics who get to say whether they are catholics, not Douthat or the Pope.
Oh, yeah, Marion, I forgot to mention, the Episcopal priest was a woman. Another blasphemy in Douthat’s eyes.
Bah, I say to you Elton John hataz. Bah!
Angry Ewok, aka Douchehat, is just filling space here. If the NYT is justifying giving him space because of the notion that Pope Benny the Rat is trying to scoop up Anglicans who hate the gheys and the Mooslims, well, they may as well trade Krugman to Salon for Camille Paglia and hasten their nigh-inevitable demise.
*Yes, I’ve heard the joke about that one before.
Isn’t ROSS a chunky Reese Witherspoon?
Apologies to Reese, whom I actually like.
Wait, what’s the story with this “chunky Reese Witherspoon” thing?
…
She also comes in creamy and organic.
Wait, that didn’t come out right…
My love, she comes in colors.
Honus, poor little putz Douthat has SO much to get his little panties in a bunch over! Our newest priest in our parish is a former Roman Catholic who left Rome and got married. He’s a treasure. We seem to get all the good ones, and the crap goes in the opposite direction. Sorry about that! (Oddly enough, the largest parish in Savannah that’s currently embroiled in a court battle because they decided they couldn’t tolerate having a gay bishop in the church was one of the more evangelical, laid back, wave-to-Jesus congregations. Go figure…)
Isn’t ROSS a chunky Reese Witherspoon?
I see an Internets meme here: Chunky Witherspoon.
Isn’t ROSS a chunky Reese Witherspoon?
Would that be “Ross Servingspoon”?
She also comes in creamy and organic.
Wait, that didn’t come out right…
My love, she comes in colors.
Velied Hooters reference…
What’s gray and comes in quarts?
Hitler, thats who!!
Shorter
shorterHenry VII:Hey Protestants! Subsume your religious beliefs in service of
politicsme divorcing this barren bitch!!What’s gray and comes in quart
sz?Schist, you scheisskopf!
The Pope is looking for a sign… wait a minute, here it is:
HOMOPHOBS R WELCUM
But what Ratzi really wants is to get his hands on this demographic.
That way he can cover up a whole new class of church-related child abuse.
Let’s not forget that Douche-hat was brought in to replace the excellently bloody minded, nepotism-enhanced Palin fan Bill Kristol.
This bullshit about ‘why don’t they pick better conservatives’ in the real wouldn’t translate to smarter, more rational conservatives, but simply whatever flavor of xxxtreeeem teabagger is circulating popularly.
If the NYT put in place some thinking, fact-based, comparatively reasonable “conservative” he would be shouted off by the rabble as too liberal.
Our newest priest in our parish is a former Roman Catholic who left Rome and got married. He’s a treasure.
This notion that RELIGION AS A SUPERMARKET* where you shop around for something that gives you support for how you already intend to live your life is a sign of SPIRITUAL DESUETUDE.
I mean, if your religion is not making uncomfortable demands on you, like “overcome your homophobia already”, then it’s just a source of complacency, and you can get that anywhere. I blame the hippies. And the post-modernists. Post-modern hippies.
Also ‘malaise’. Work ‘malaise’ into that rant somewhere.
* Given my ‘support’ metaphor, religion is in fact an on-line store for hernia belts.
What’s gray and comes in quartz?
A vast exaggeration.
Shorter shorter Henry VII:
Hey Protestants! Subsume your religious beliefs in service of politics me divorcing this barren bitch!!
Wrong Henry.
Smut Clyde, you left out the eeevil rock ‘n roll. That’s the reason they have those guitars at Mass nowadays… It’s the end of the empire.
Guitars are not appropriate at Mass unless you can play teh Toccata in B Minor on them.
Guitars are not appropriate at Mass unless you can play teh Toccata in B Minor on them.
Been there, done that
Crap. Wrong link:
Actually, one of the lovliest version of Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring I’ve ever heard was played on the steel drums… Wafting over traffic noise on 34th Street and Madison Avenue years ago…
Benedict’s Gambit
Why is this a gambit? What assets are the Panzerpope placing at risk in the hope of luring his opponent into making a strategic error?
the pope has systematically lowered the barriers for conservative Christians hovering on the threshold of the church
Why “systematically”? Looks to me like an
unprincipledpragmatic, ad-hoc initiative to soak up bigots from one particular rival.Is Douhat aware that words have actual meanings, or does he arrange them purely for the pretty shapes they make on the page?
No, I couldn’t possibly have another one; four rhetorical questions is my limit.
Hey Troofus… Troofus old buddy? Via your old friend Atrios;
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/10/poll-corzine-ahead-of-christie-by-42-33.php
Corzine 42%, Christie 33% in New Jersey…. how’s that Republican recovery coming along for you, fucknuts?
Good job we bookmarked your predictions, eh?
Some of the Episcopalian youngsters may have diseases that the priests could catch.
“Gambit” is not an abbreviation for ‘game bit’.
Also you may receive a bite on the gams when attempting oral copulation with kids from the more unruly religions.
What assets are the Panzerpope placing at risk in the hope of luring his opponent into making a strategic error?
Catholics who aren’t wingnuts might leave in droves. Spain, which is like the most Catholic country in Europe, if not the world, recognizes gay marriage. In Douthat theory, if religious sects are neatly transferable to the highest theological bidder, then Ratzo might lose more than he gains.
In reality, most Catholics will probably say, you know, I’ll take my Catholic medicine but I’m not on board with all the anachronistic social conservative nonsense. And I am definitely not going on a new Crusade with some pasty-assed fucknuts from the other side of the world.
“Smut Clyde, you left out the eeevil rock ‘n roll. That’s the reason they have those guitars at Mass nowadays… It’s the end of the empire.”
Hey, leaving aside the Electirc Prunes “Mass in E minor” (see “Kyrie Elieson” from the Easy Rider soundtrack) we had hard rock and roll in catholic churches in West Virginia way back when i was a kid, complete with programs featuring nude women:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mind_Garage
for all you really good catholics, here’s the link to the Mind Garage’s “Electric Liturgy” poster with the naked girl
http://www.mindgarage.com/poster.html
Corzine 42%, Christie 33% in New Jersey…. how’s that Republican recovery coming along for you, fucknuts?
Good job we bookmarked your predictions, eh?
Think we could get him to make World Series predictions? Think of the money we’d make betting on his losing teams!
Bookmark this, libs. This is the way it will go down.
Ah. The Pope is trying the ol’ “Rope a Dope.”
The Rope-a-Dope Pope Trope? I like it.
They convert because they like the repressive aspects of catholicism.
And the Catholic repressors are a whole lot cheaper than the other kind of professional repressor (leather bodysuits ain’t cheap.)
“…does he arrange them purely for the pretty shapes they make on the page?”
That.
The Rope-a-Dope Pope Trope? I like it.
They sell Holy Souvenirs at the Vatican, including “Rope-a-Dope Pope Soap.”
And Hand Grenades.
They sell Holy Souvenirs at the Vatican, including “Rope-a-Dope Pope Soap.”
That’s still probably a step up from the Middle Ages when they’d often have Pope-On-A-Rope.
Is that a burning acorn on Jeasus’ shirt, or what?
Is that a burning acorn on Jeasus’ shirt, or what?
Isn’t that the Biblical sign for antacids?
Make that the “Biblical Bat Signal for Antacids.”
But it really isn’t that fucking funny, is it?
“Rope-a-Dope Pope Soap”.
Is that Jesus? I thought that was a Douthat Mary.
Douthat Mary: Typhoid Mary with half the fun.
Here is how it will go down on November 3rd. First, the results from Sussex and Cape May County will come in, and they’ll be declared for Christie. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Sussex will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ocean, Gloucester, and (much to your horror) Bergen County will be too close to call.
My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to Governor Chris Christie and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.
*polite golf applause*
Well played, NC!
Martini?
Is that a burning acorn on Jeasus’ shirt, or what?
New from Arby’s, the burning roast beef with cone-shaped bun
“Rope-a-Dope Pope Soap”.
Nice. I was actually looking through the Vatican Gift Shop. No luck, there.
not a burning acorn, a burning ACORN.
N.C.: Really? You think New Jerseyans will vote for someone that obese? I’m doubtful myself, but this is NJ we’re talking about. Well, if Christie does become governor and there is a state opt-out clause for the public option, the fun will really begin.
The exurbs out in the northwest boonies and south of Atlantic City will vote for him, but that’s about it, I’d bet.
Is that a burning acorn on Jeasus’ shirt, or what?
Although Burning Beetroot actually began his crime-fighting career earlier than Flaming Carrot, the latter was more photogenic and rapidly attracted the majority of media attention.
You think New Jerseyans will vote for someone that obese?
You ever been to the Mall at Short Hills? He’s svelte!
Very torn by this ejaculation in particular.
If its subject is “the man” I have hardcore respect for him as an artist & especially as a performer. I heard a story about him doing a concert that was literally swarmed by a fucking swarm of locusts (we’re talking many inches deep in locust guts, shite & being basically slamdanced by legions of panicky locusts here) & that motherfucker just kept right on rocking his shit out.
If the subject is “his music” I regret to admit that it invariably makes my ears cringe. I’d happily give away my memories of being perennially afflicted with them on the radio, knowing they’d grok them with joy.
While I’m definitely not immune to the potent charms of SOME pop-rock or “new-wave” (like echobelly, Nena or cranes) I’ve always tended to lean more in the direction of the metallish, punky, weird-as-all-get-out side of the Euterpean palette.
– afflicted with them TO HIS FANS –
finxt!
You ever been to the Mall at Short Hills? He’s svelte!
Those folks are all wearing fat suits just to see the reaction they get.
“Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” would have made an awfully fine Killdozer cover.
So many squirting jokes, so little time…..
She shoots her colors all around
Like a sunset going down…
WHAT?!
Seconded.
The pigfucks did all of the best covers. Big Black (“The Big Payback”, “The Model”, “He’s A Whore”), Butthole Surfers (“American Woman”, “Sweat Loaf”), Killdozer, Scratch Acid (“Damned For All Time”)…
On the other hand, I almost entirely agree with jim on Elton John. Respect, but can’t stand ‘im. They’re advertising Elton John/Billy Joel concerts, and I can’t think of a show I’d do more to avoid. (Not that I have to: I think they’re like $200 a ticket.)
You know, since the stimulus has been working, the stock market has rebounded, and it actually looks like Congress stands a chance of passing meaningful health insurance reform, the more repulsive trolls seem to have gone missing
Kinda nice. I like it.
Plus, I’ve got to defend “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” as an album. Great band, good songs, elton at his prime, before he went MOR and did too many videos (not to mention too many remakes of “Candle In The Wind” FFS, man, either that song is about somebody in particular or it isn’t, but don’t fucking re-purpose it for every big charity concert).
They’re advertising Elton John/Billy Joel concerts, and I can’t think of a show I’d do more to avoid.
Despite Having defended GYBR, I agree with this.
ewww. 200 bucks? I’ll go see fifteen local bands.
“I can’t think of a show I’d do more to avoid.”
Oh come on…you aren’t trying.
I could come up with dozens. Barry Manilow. Engelbert Humperdink. Barbara Streisand. Shall I go on?
There’s almost no music that has survived 40 years of near-constant airplay without making me want to hurl after the first few bars (“Don’t Fear the Reaper,” anyone?). At least E.J. and B.J. weren’t horrible as soon as they came out.
Not that I’d pay any amount of money to see them in concert but at least I could understand their popularity for a while.
They’re advertising Elton John/Billy Joel concerts, and I can’t think of a show I’d do more to avoid.
Billy Joel/Bob Seger
Yes.
OT: dude! did you all see that reid is going to introduce a bill with a public option?!? i’d say i’m really excited but my youthful enthusiasm for seemingly-hopeful developments in politics was crushed years ago. i’m cautiously optimistic. ish.
Only rawk-band I know of that put out a double-LP of cover-songs.
I concur that Der ‘Dozer would make Elton sound quite robust & earnest … they sure did that for Karen Carpenter.
did you all see that reid is going to introduce a bill with a public option?!?
Well, for everybody except the red states and any blue states that have Republicans in their legislature.
i.e., opt-out.
I am amazed they’re considering putting in the P.O. at all, but bleah.
Spain, which is like the most Catholic country in Europe, if not the world
I’m sorry, but unless I see any evidence to the contrary, that distinction belongs to Poland. Followed by Malta, fyi.
(”Don’t Fear the Reaper,” anyone?).
Not enough cow-bell for ya?
Xecky, the opt-out is the best of a bad lot of options the Senate is looking at. At least the threshold is harder to achieve for the Insurance-Industrial lobby.
Only rawk-band I know of that put out a double-LP
Matthew Sweet and Susanna Hoffs (known as Sid & Susie)?
Also, Camper Van Beethoven did a cover of the Tusk album. I got it digitally, and have no idea if it ended up a double, like the original.
Monumentally weird.
that distinction belongs to Poland. Followed by Malta, fyi.
Where does the Vatican City fit on the list?
Re: Elton John. I guess it’s a generational thing, but I really like most of the pre-1975 stuff. The thing is, to me Elton John is two people. The fact that when Reg and Bernie quit working together, Reg seems to have gotten exclusive custody of the name, thus poisoning people’s opinions by association with his more recent…stuff…is unfortunate. It doesn’t help that even among the earlier work, the worse a song is, like Crocodile Rock, the more you hear it. You really need to go album-diving for some of the best ones. Anybody who just listened to the million and one repetitions of Ricki, Don’t Lose that Number wouldn’t think much of Steely Dan, either. (What’s the etiquette on this name thing, anyway? Donald Fagen did a solo album or two after he and Walter broke up, but he didn’t call himself “Steely Dan.”)
Not a country but a drag-queen resort.
…the opt-out is the best of a bad lot of options the Senate is looking at. At least the threshold is harder to achieve for the Insurance-Industrial lobby.
I think the opt-out might turn out to be a good thing, for the Democratic Party, anyway. Think about it: what a great beat-stick a Democratic Candidate would have if a state Republican Party opted out, particularly in states where there is a lot of support for the option. And we all knew there would be a deal with the devil. We got off cheap on this one, IMHO.
An opt-out public option may be a very good thing, tactically speaking.
First of all, it will prove very popular in any state which opts in. It will certainly make a lot of obstructionists come out of the woodwork too.. But it will put them in the spotlight.
Republican state representatives getting media attention, and facing greatly increased voter turnout at the next election, with the most motivated voters happy to kick them out regardless of their record, because they NEED healthcare dammit.
Yeah, it does mean that a handful of states won’t get a public option for decades. But it will mean that a lot of purple states will turn blue, just for the healthcare.
And the Tomcat beats me to it.. I should hit refresh sometimes.
But if it is this obvious to us, how long before the republicans twig?
Or do they think people LIKE dying of cancer?
At least E.J. and B.J. weren’t horrible as soon as they came out
Oh yeah? Elton was horrid before he came out (in every sense) as was Billy Joel. People of their ilk are illusionists, selling a Broadway musical version of rock&roll.
You know who else kept performing through swarms of locusts? Hitler, that’s who!!
Can we just have Elton do the charity thing without singing? That would be the best of both worlds.
I like Dinah Cancer.
Swarms of locusts? Pshaw. Now if he’d carried on with the show through a plague of frogs, then I’d be impressed.
On the other hand, carrying on through the ninth plague, that would have just been stupid.
“Here is how it will go down…”
You know, to keep perspective, and not get too down, it’s good to think back about how sweet it was to wake up that wednesday morning a little less than a year ago. I was cautiously hopeful that Obama would carry Virginia, and he won it by 8 points, the first democrat to carry the state since LBJ, and we got rid of the moron Virgil Goode in the process, which was a real langniappe, espscially after chasing Goerge Allen just two years before.
And this just in: Harry Reid says the bill out of the senate will contain the opt-out public option, which the reichtards declared dead two months ago.
Here it is two years later, the “permanent majority” party is getting their asses handed to them in New Jersey and reduced bragging about maybe winning the statehouse here, which every candidate from the opposition party has done for forty years. They got nothin’
Re: Billy Joel
I have to admit I like this song. My recollection is that I first saw the video on Solid Gold. Would that be right?
“Oh yeah? Elton was horrid before he came out (in every sense) as was Billy Joel. “
Meh. No accounting for taste &c.
They were OK in their time (and for where I was at the time). Apparently a lot of people thought they were good enough.
That said, I never saw either one live because I wasn’t that thrilled by them. I’m sure not going to cushion their slide into old age with my money now.
Now Steely Dan, on the other hand, I’ve seen twice since they came back. I’ve bought everything they put out together and apart. Yes I’m a fanboy, sue me.
11 Tracks of Whack is the best CD you’ve never heard of.
“Rocket man” wasn’t half bad.
However, he can take his candle in the fucking wind and CRAM IT.
It’s amusing to us old farts to hear people trying to defend Elton John by citing sons from Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. But the guy was good at one time. two words: Honky Chateau
Is that a burning acorn on Jeasus’ shirt, or what?
A Sacred Heart cigarette lighter would be cool.
Better than a candle in the wind, anyway.
A Sacred Heart cigarette lighter would be cool.
Maybe one from the Vatican?
http://www.romegiftshop.com/ligsouvmouto.html
(I always fuck up the tags)
I had a 45 of Billy Joel’s Moving Out, and a few Elton John albums. It’s hard to see those two as something other than contemptible now, but some of the songs will stick with me. The opening chords of Saturday Night’s All Right for Fighting still make me look up: they sound strong now and sounded strong then. Bonus points for John being indecipherable with those drippy lyrics.
More from Looch’s link:
http://www.romegiftshop.com/spartacus.html
Bonus points for John being indecipherable with those drippy lyrics.
Those were actually written by his collaborator, Bernie Taupin (sp?).
Liking Elton John is my ’70s embarrassment. But the man had, and has, chops as a musician.
Whatever else can be said about Elton John, I can attest from personal experience that Bennie and the Jets is a first-rate musical accompaniment for ditch digging.
From the Spartacus link:
Unless you own a buncha newspapers and an island with hot and cold running naked girls.
Xecky, the opt-out is the best of a bad lot of options the Senate is looking at.
You’re probably right, but I’m still not thrilled about it.
Might spur me to move out of Utah if I end up out of work and all.
The opening chords of Saturday Night’s All Right for Fighting still make me look up: they sound strong now and sounded strong then.
Yeah, I like that song until he starts singing.
None of you will ever understand the agony of having impeccable musical taste.
(Goes w/ the colossal ego.)
“I can’t think of a show I’d do more to avoid.”
Oh come on…you aren’t trying.
I could come up with dozens. Barry Manilow. Engelbert Humperdink. Barbara Streisand. Shall I go on?
Aw, Humperdink? Hansel and Gretel has some lovely moments.
Holy crap. Via Edroso’s day job, there is apparently a site out there called Yes, But, However!
I would have recommended Sadly, Blart! More of a blatant homage.
And, hell no, I didn’t click through. And I’m not gonna, dammit.
I believe you can be pecked.
Y’know Big Hollywood has a bit on a movie I haven’t seen anywhere else, about guitar gods of somewhat different styles.
#
#
M. Bouffant said,
October 27, 2009 at 3:54 (kill)
None of you will ever understand the agony of having impeccable musical taste.
O, I know, man, I know.
I’m wondering, though, how YOU figured it out.
Pecked to death by the small-minded (& -beaked) who outnumber me several billion to one, yes.
I done heard about that flick. (More evidence of impeccability, or trend hopping, or too much spare time …)
Which would bring up that rock&roll is guitar music, excepting a few founders of the commercial form, i. e., Richard “Wooo!’ Penniman, The Killer/Cousin Marrier, Fats Domino & (maybe) a few others from the greasy past.
No good keyboard-based rockroll since the ’60s. (Not that I’m holding up Page, et al., as “impeccable.”)
Gaaah, forgot that the eminently disposable & mis-monickered “Edge” is in that as well.
I suppose they talk, too.
Tumbleweed Connection is one of my favorite albums. So I guess you’re all wrong. Hah!
No good keyboard-based rockroll since the ’60s. (Not that I’m holding up Page, et al., as “impeccable.”)
Bruce Hornsby? And Bob Seger.
You bastard.
Bruce Hornsby? And Bob Seger.
Keyboard Cat.
O, I know, man, I know.
I’m wondering, though, how YOU figured it out.
Bet I prefer more musical non-breathers than you do.
Suicide.
Exiled on Main Street has some piano-driven songs, courtesy of Ian Stewart.
Also Emerson Lake and POWELL.
And then there’s Booker T.
And the Silicon Teens.
Is Stevie Wonder rockroll? D’Angelo?
That would be Booker T. & Steve Cropper. Not to dismiss keyboards at all, Stevie Wonder f’r merest example, but not what I‘d define as “rock&roll.”
Leaving definitional cans of worms alone, is there a Lee Michaels & Frosty/Silver Apples/Suicide continuum?
Hah, Did not see J—’s S. Wonder ref. b/4 bringing him up. (Slow, lousy typist.)
I dunno about that; all those folks seem very different to me.
Bernie Worrell.
If an opt-out public option health care bill is passed it will be interesting to see how it plays out a few years down the road.
Will the red states opt out en masse? They already generally have the highest rates of uninsured residents. If the public option manages to work well then they will have set themselves apart from the rest of the country in a very fundamental and detrimental way. The value of residence in an opted-out state will be tangibly lower. It could really cause a split in quality of life and prosperity between the red states and the rest of the country.
It may turn out that opting out will not be politically feasible in many states. Clearly there will be presidential-aspiring GOP governors who will at least put on a show of trying to opt their state out in order to establish their right wing purity with the national party base. These are the same jack-asses who condemned the stimulus but then took credit when the they handed it out to state projects. How many will succeed is hard to predict.
Drummer & keys/synth. All the same.
First “related video” at Suicide link.
Mates of State.
Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor by the California Guitar Trio:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdEAccE7BMs
See god.
Bach cover band. How original.
I think since J.S. is dead, anytime you hear his music played it is by a “cover band.”
Doesn’t stop those goddamned Doors cover bands either, does it?
Chunky Witherspoon
Isn’t she related to Funky Winkerbean?
I wouldn’t be so quick in putting down the Doors. After all, they inspired this:
Halloween with Jim Beam
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr BLT © 2009
http://www.drblt.net/music/HalloWDemom.mp3
Where are my manners? Happy Halloween to all those I sadly know at Sadly no. LOL.
Happy Hallowe’en BLT!
Thank you. Please, everyone, no political arguments for me. I’ve given up political partisanship in favor of music. Music unites, politics divide.
Yeah, look how united everybody is over music on this thread right here.
Well, that’s because I’ve been selfishly clinging to the Dr BLTunes, designed to produce unity in even the most partisan-poisoned places. Hence, I’ve been shirking my responsibilities as a uniter.
“What’s being interpreted, for now, as an intra-Christian skirmish may eventually be remembered as the first step toward a united Anglican-Catholic front — not against liberalism or atheism, but against Christianity’s most enduring and impressive foe.”
Um, I was under the impression that that foe was the Devil/evil. When did that change?
Evil and deranged New Zealand parrots are becoming an Internet tradition.
Thanks for sharing this pal!
Well, at least he seems to be going by the new AP stylebook…
Never use phrases that are insulting to dead fish, parakeets or puppies, as they are your primary audience.
From the new AP stylebook.
“Use “lay” when laying down an object, use “lie” when lying in a horizontal position, and use both with your mom.”
Um, I was under the impression that that foe was the Devil/evil. When did that change?
When their ratings dropped below Fox News.
I’m voting with le Bouf on this one, EJ and BJ have always been, in SubMcG’s mot juste, contemptible. Show tunes.
And the exception that proves the rule about keyboard based R&R is Antoine Domino. That man rocks and always has.
eidos:
tl; dr
ROFL
groW uP LiBs!@
The evil is fine, but the derangement means they’re unpredictable.
QUASI!
and another one.
A Concerned Center Left Woman
Ah, part of a foursome. One more and you qualify for an orgy…
That said, I never saw either one live because I wasn’t that thrilled by them.
One really good reason to not see Billy Joel live is his habit (not sure if he still does it) of ripping up negative reviews just for the cheap applause. Jesus, grow a skin, bitch.
Musicians have thin skin, it’s their sensitivity that draws them to that inward place where new songs are found. They can’t just “grow a skin,” if that were they case, they would all just become truckers. In Red (I’m a Truck) Simpson’s case, he was able to pull both of those things off, but most musicians can’t spit and chew bad reviews at the same time.
One really good reason to not see Billy Joel live is his habit (not sure if he still does it) of ripping up negative reviews just for the cheap applause.
I guess he’ll never lack for stage props.
Musicians have thin skin
Fine, but if I ever paid good money to see Billy Joel in concert (which thank Christ I haven’t), the very last thing I’d want to hear is him whining about his reviews. Fuck dude, you’re in front of a full house of adoring fans, and all you can do is cry because Dave Marsh said something mean? STFU.
Musicians have thin skin, it’s their sensitivity that draws them to that inward place where new songs are found.
That’s one way to refer to the place from which BJ pulled “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me.”
Creem exists in some form. That was where I read a Billy Joel review long long ago. The reviewer went with his wife (I think) and she turned to him and said “This guy is an asshole.“
I liked BJ’s early stuff, up until he met Christie Brinkely and his life went down the pan.
I’ve seen his shows, and even had a beer or two with him.
I dunno…kinda like his stuff. Maybe it’s because it took me back to my very early childhood, maybe it’s because I hung out in the kinds of bars and clubs he hung out in, and met many of the same people or at least types of people.
For example, I thought his “52nd Street” album was one of the best I’ve ever heard: some jazz, some blues, a couple of rock anthems, even some soft salsa stuff.
“Stiletto” is a song I can listen to over and over and still feel like I haven’t heard the whole thing.
I’m not saying, you know, greatest musician ever, or even that he’s earned all the acclaim he’s gotten popularly, but I don’t think he’s the embodiment of evil that Elton John is.
This is how it will be, Troofus.
Jon Stewart stopped making fun of Billy Joel because he cried.
John Bolton will try that next time.
Jon Stewart stopped making fun of Billy Joel because he cried.
if he does that with Glenn Beck, I’ll kill him.
Show tunes
I mean this in the most heterosexual way possible, but what the hell’s wrong with show tunes?
I never understood Billy Joel Derangement Syndrome. Is the problem that he’s “Easy Listening”? Well WTF did you expect, he’s a Top 40 Pop balladeer. I mean sure he ain’t shit compared to musical geniuses like Keyboard Cat, but it’s not like he’s Air Supply.
Holy fuck, still no new post and we’re left down here arguing about the fucking artistic merit of Billy Fucking Joel?
I feel abandoned.
Think I’ll go write a song about it.
DKW,
And I’m guessing part of the argument against BJ’s music is that he was originally marketed as a rocker.
Fatefully few of his songs really fit the rock genre and the ones that do would ordinarily be off-tempo ballads for a band like, say, Who or the Rolling Stones.
When was this Chunky Witherspoon thing? Because Douthat has been married for like 3 years. Is he going back to his undergrad days?
Also, I submit for review and thrashing, RE: keyboard rock,
Dr. John.
Might not fit someone’s definition of rock, but it certainly does rock, and roll.
Air Supply pwns Billy Joel
I think I liked Billy Joel for perhaps a two week period sometime around 1977.
The vast majority of my animus against William Joel is the song ‘Piano Man’, which is unforgivable. The rest of his work is slightly irritating at worst.
Meh. Why are we talking about Billy Joel? isn’t there enough of Teh Stoopid out there in RWWorld for another post?
As a matter of fact, I heard la Malkin is going all Graeme Frost on David Axelrod’s epileptic daughter.
She’s just so Klassy.
In which Douthat finds himself unattracted to a woman who is throwing herself at him.
Douthat does not explain if this would-be lover is from Niagara Falls, at least not in the excerpt that I read.
Let me tell you of the medicinal uses of cocaine.
Douthat does not explain if this would-be lover is from Niagara Falls
Niagara Falls!
Slowly I turned. Step by step. Inch by inch…….
Air Supply pwns Billy Joel
I’m all out of luuuurve, I’m so lost without you
…originally marketed as a rocker.
Ahhh, so he’s a sell-out. Right on, I can get behind hating sell-outs (until my Soros check comes in).
I’m all out of luuuurve, I’m so lost without you
Name me another band that could be simultaneously all out of and lost in a thing. Ha!
I will stick my head up from the pile of work that I’m buried under to say this:
Before selling out to GM made him a joke, Bob Seger had some moments. One of them is the piano-driven “Feel Like a Number.” Another is “UMC,” not so much for its pleasant pianoy melody as for its endless apropos lyrics…
If help doesn’t come soon we’ll have to start eating each other
Ha!
No, you are right. I apologize to Air Supply, I forgot that since I heard those dulcet tones, even the nights are better.
I never was a big Billy Joel fan and I haven’t been following him recently, excepting his motor vehicle excursions into other people’s homes.
Is the problem that there’s no good stuff recently? Or is it Blonde Over Blue v. You May Be Right?
Because (I just looked it up) “originally marketed as a rocker” doesn’t jibe with She’s Got A Way being on Cold Spring Harbor. Not that there’s anything wrong with She’s Got A Way – that song’s at least as good as Making Love Outta Nothing At All.
Neither of them can match the pure musical genius that was Starland Vocal Band.
isn’t there enough of Teh Stoopid out there in RWWorld for another post?
If it’s poutrage you are looking for, may I suggest the Power Tools.
If it’s garden variety diaper-soiling that you want, Thomas Sowell is stinking the place up.
If it’s self-awareness FAIL you are after, may I suggest Erickson calling other people fat.
Okay, that’s all I can manage for now.
Starland Vocal Band’s short-lived variety show featured David Letterman, Proctor and Bergman, and Mark Russell. Hunh.
isn’t there enough of Teh Stoopid out there in RWWorld for another post?
I can offer you:
Poutrage du jour, courtesy of the PowerTools
Garden-variety diaper-loading, with thanks to Tommy Sowell.
Self-awareness FUBAR, where you get Erickson cussing other people for being fat.
Please enjoy whilst I go disinfect.
When Air Supply comes on the radio, I leave it on and say, “Can you believe this motherfucking shit?” When Billy Joel comes on the radio, I change the station.
He was another “new Dylan” like, um, Steve Forbert.
Come on, DKW, “It’s Still Rock’n’Roll to Me” is worth some real honest hate. It’s complaining instead of kicking ass.
Meritless songs can have value as kitsch unless you’re Billy Joel.
K-Lo on the poutrage remarked upon by Ted the Slacker, in which she expresses the desire to correct the writing of Teddy Roosevelt and points out that you know who else was a powerful writer Hitler that’s who.
Bob Seger on chickens who dodged the draft:
Sorry, but I will not register with Clown Hall just to read some drivel by Thomas Sowell. Not. Gonna. Do. It.
S McG – I guess I thought (as much as I thought about it, which was not much) that the “Ballad of the Yellow Berets” was an anti-draft song. He produced at least one truly anti-Vietnam War sings a little later, “2+2=?”.
If help doesn’t come soon we’ll have to start eating each other
I think the lengthening darkness is getting to our hosts – you know, Seasonal Affective Disorder. Hence, SADly, No.
It could be worse. We could be hoping for new posts at the Poor Man Institute, where instead of getting SAD they hibernate.
“It’s Still Rock’n’Roll to Me” is worth some real honest hate. It’s complaining instead of kicking ass.
It’s a VDH column set to music.
Sings = songs. Too much drafting going on all over my computer.
From Rusty Shackleford’s link:
First of all, TR’s books are pretty good. I wish I could take a red pen to them every now and then
K-Lo taking a red pen to anyone else’s writing done broke my irony meter.
I’m sending my repair bill to National Review forthwith.
Elton John? Hah! I got your Elton John right here!
“I’m sending my repair bill to National Review forthwith.”
Yeah, maybe they can bleg up some funds to cover it.
It’s Still Rock’n’Roll to Me
That is a crappy song. Epic crappy. If it was supposed to be cleverly ironic in that it’s a “rock” song that’s yelling “GET OFFA MAH LAWN” – then it fails because it sucks to much to listen to.
But everyone’s allowed a couple stinkers, right? Should that one song taint everything he’s done since? I mean, I’m just looking for an excuse for kinda liking this.
I see Scott Johnson is accusing Obama of having his books ghostwritten. By Bill Ayers, one presumes.
see Scott Johnson is accusing Obama of having his books ghostwritten. By Bill Ayers, one presumes.
Again? I see they’re taking kind of a Lazy Susan approach to the poutrage. This one came up during the campaign, but quickly became eclipsed by other burning scandals, such as the Queen’s Ipod and mustard-gate. I guess they just leave things on the revolve, so that when an idle moment occurs, without an obvious thing to be outraged by (a dinner menu, perhaps? Hula-hooping? The First Dog’s name?) they can spin it round to the front again and work it.
Because (I just looked it up) “originally marketed as a rocker” doesn’t jibe with She’s Got A Way being on Cold Spring Harbor.
The Cold Spring Harbor album, altho it was his first recorded and released, was NOT his first major studio release (which was Piano Man).
Indeed, there was a huge battle over CSH, which had it been resolved early, would have put Joel firmly in Barry Manilow terror-tory (sic).
The original CSH release was for absolute crap in terms of production values….OK, I realize that;s a niggling point…but there are points you can actually hear the fucking reel-to-reel turning on some of the first pressings.
So who ghostwrote Hitler’s book? Inquiring minds would like to know.
“So who ghostwrote Hitler’s book?”
Karl Marx, silly!
That is a very good YouTube trick. Thanks.
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 27, 2009 at 18:47
If help doesn’t come soon we’ll have to start eating each other
whattaya mean START, breather-boy?
“Piano Man” is a tough act to follow. The song is absolutely brilliant. Billy Joel was never able to reach, let alone, surpass, the bar he set with that song again. Everything else he did paled in comparison.
Really, Tumbleweed Connection is quite good. So are parts of Madman Across the Water and Honky Chateau. But rock? Only in the sense that King Crimson “In the Court of the Crimson King” or Carole King’s Tapestry is “rock,” i.e. that they were played on AOR stations.
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