What A Great Idea!
Posted on October 20th, 2009 by Tintin
Kathryn Lopez, Pope Week
A Few Suggestions for Next Year’s Nobel Peace Prize
- Hey, what about a former Nazi soldier?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
And then there’s all those priests ardently getting pieces of the world’s manchildren.
Cuz, you know, the Roman Catholic Church and its devout followers have always been about promoting peace and eschewing things like crusades, torture, genocide, witch burning, and threats of eternal damnation for playing with yourself.
obAlso: Oh, and also, the humane treatment of altar boys. Also.
Hey, if she could find a current Nazi soldier, she’d be happier.
Oh, did I mention their whole-hearted support for the practices of safe sex, prophylaxis, and family planning?
She should stick to writing about things she knows nothing about like sex.
Oh, did I mention their whole-hearted support for the practices of safe sex, prophylaxis, and family planning?
Hey, let’s not forget the fulsome embrace of the advancement of scientific knowledge.
Trust the Shorter Dep’t.:
Let me know when his Hole-ness breaks up the Church, sells it at auction, & gives all the money to the poor, Planned Parenthood, priest abuse victims, & so on.
Symmetry demands that non-catholics get to make suggestions for the next pope. I’m casting a write-in vote for Gary Glitter.
Klo?
Pope Benedict XVI? The world’s most visible and credible spiritual and moral leader
O RLY?
Klo?
Bleach. For. My. Eyes.
What, aren’t they confident of getting their reward in heaven?
“Each person is sacred, no matter what his or her culture, religion, handicap, or fragility. Each person is created in God’s image; each one has a heart, a capacity to love and to be loved.”
Gametes, zygotes, and embryos have a capacity to love? For the first three weeks they don’t even have hearts.
Symmetry demands that non-catholics get to make suggestions for the next pope. I’m casting a write-in vote for Gary Glitter.
The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. My vote, anyway.
The Pope does deserve a Nobel prize. A Nobel prize for kick-ass shoes.
Or any one (durr) of the Sisters. Pick the one with the best make-up/nym combo.
http://www.thesisters.org/meet.html
I love all this Nobel Peace Prize concern trolling. It’s really hard for people expressing in various ways their anger and dissatisfaction with Obama’s winning it to not come across like sulky jerks. Fidel Castro had the right idea. He tersely said it was a positive development, a criticism of past US presidencies and a call to action for the current one.
He is definitely award-worthy. Probably no world leader devotes as much time to fondling imaginary breasts as Holy Father.
The Pope does deserve a Nobel prize. A Nobel prize for kick-ass shoes.
Would he share it with the Worshipful Company of Cordwainers?
You know who deserves an NPP?
Whoever figures out a way to stop K-Load from raping, strangling and dismembering the English language.
Pope Ben does deserve a prize for looking the most like Skeletor’s chubby cousin.
..Not really like Skeletor’s cousin. More like Skeletor’s uncle who used to touch him inappropriately.
Pope Benedict XVI? Mild surprise.
I thought she was recommending Randall Terry.or Mitt Romney.
The world’s most visible and credible spiritual and moral leader, the Holy Father shepherds peace like no other.
Fuck off, bitch!
Considering that the article is for Catholic Weekly, the Catholic newsweekly for Catholic Catholics in this Catholically modern Catholic world, Catholic, it’s not a particularly greivous sin for her to only be considering Catholics for the Nobel Peace Prize. After all, Catholics want to read about Catholics (usually schoolgirls locked up in dormitories with communal showers).
The impressive part is – well her list sucks. That’s the best she can come up with for Catholics worth honouring with a BIG PRIZE. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. Remember teh lulzors over Obama not having done anything to earn the Peace Prize? Yeah, certainly lots less than Chris and Joan Bell? They are raising adopted disabled children while keeping five other homes — Good Counsel homes for pregnant women — in the New York metropolitan area. Wheeee!
what the fuck is this, catholics gone wild week?
Pope Ben does deserve a prize for looking the most like Skeletor’s chubby cousin.
That’s not who he most resembles.
Coinkydink! There a thread at Reddit that’s got some more amusing p-shops.
OT but….
Wow, the Yes Men really pulled off a good one today.
Yes Men Pull Off Chamber Of Commerce Hoax On Climate Change
You know you’ve hit a nerve when they get sputtering mad.
He’s one frightening bastard.
Like WP.
Yeah, but these candy-ass modern popes just can’t measure up to the greats of yesteryear.
Would you believe that Sarah Silverman has something totally ON TOPIC.
I know I always look to the former head of the Inquisition when I am looking for a Nobel Peace Prize recipient. Especially since this particular Pope has done basically bupkis for world peace and the betterment of humanity.
Photoshop WIN, Tintin.
At first glance, I thought it was Kolchak: the NightStalker.
hahahahahahahahaha.
Srsly. She gets paid for this?
Hey, at least Benny Ratz eventually had the good sense to desert the Nazi military, though I can’t help but observe that one might be forgiven for wondering whether he deserted his unit or if his unit deserted him.
Nah, if you want a Pope worthy of Henry Kissinger’s Nobel Prize for Peace, you want this guy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_II
My personal favorite pope of all time is Rodrigo Borgia, Alex VI. What a thoroughly non-holy father he was! Father, indeed! His son Cesare was major hottie but sadly, not a nice guy either. Between the father and the son, they thoroughly screwed up the life of daughter Lucrezia, who famously got a really bad rap for a whole lotta shit she didn’t have a hand in.
One good thing about Alexander, though: He would have really pissed of Klo and Bill Donohue, just as he pissed off that asshat Savonarola. Roddie liked to partay, and one of his best friends was a Mooooslim, too, just to add to the fun!
Teh Borja!
Dunno why, but as a teen I had a fascination with the Borgias. I was a weird kid.
The Nobel Peas Price will
NEVAH
Match the Nobel Brussels Sprouts Prize.
~
Damn that Sarah Silverman! I’ll have to start registering these ideas at the Writers Guild again.
Also: The Vatican’s Collection of Indexed Erotica could get a few billion alone.
George Soros for the win!*
*Yes I know, but tell it to the wingnuts.
Yeah, who the fuck is Jean Vanier (Kathryn’s actual pick for the Prize) to be worthy of such acclamation?
Jean Vanier is the founder of L’Arche, an international organization which creates communities where people with developmental disabilities and those who assist them share life together.
In 1964, through Vanier’s friendship with a priest named Father Thomas Philippe, he became aware of the plight of thousands of people institutionalized with developmental disabilities. Jean Vanier felt led by God to invite two men, Raphael Simi and Philippe Seux, to leave the institutions where they resided and share their lives with him in a real home in Trosly-Breuil, France. Jean named the home L’Arche, meaning “the ark”, (referring to Noah’s ark). From this original community in France, 131 other communities have been founded throughout the world in Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia, North and South America
Although L’Arche communities are found in many different cultures and reflect the ethnic and religious composition of the locales in which they exist, they share a common philosophy and approach. The goal of L’Arche is to bring together people with developmental disabilities and those who assist them to live and work to create homes, recognizing one another’s unique value and gifts.
What a piece of shit this undoubtly right wing fascist is. I join in the general mockery of Kathyrn Lopez. Please bring more snark down on her!
Pope Ratz is Count Orloff! Can’t you people see what’s right before your eyes?
He is definitely award-worthy. Probably no world leader devotes as much time to fondling imaginary breasts as Holy Father.
Well then, he should definitely check out PeeJ’s link at 2:47.
Somehow I doubt K-Lo would have been this lavish in her praise of liberation theologians in South and Central America in the 1980s. Also raising disabled kids is noble no doubt- but how exactly does it have the kind of impact worthy of a Nobel?
Damn that Sarah Silverman!
Is that supposed to be a stereo pair? I could not cross my eyes enough to get the 3D effect.
I guess now is the moment for my 2 degrees of separation from Pope Ratzo. He has said that his, um, ‘conservative’ outlook was related to encountering the DFH’s at Tubingen University in the late 60s. Well, the little woman was a student there at the same time, and I blame her for not letting the Pope cop a feel under her fluffy hippie sweater. She says she was studying chemistry, but it would be irresponsible not to speculate.
So anyway, if the Pope gets the Nobel, I want 10%.
http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Christianity/Catholic/2005/04/How-The-60S-Changed-Ratzinger.aspx
I’m likin’ Pope Julius 2, as tensor notes above. You’re gonna be pope, you better be ready to FUCK THINGS UP.
Y’only get once chance, y’know.
It is a more peaceful world if disabled children are not being aborted.
Therefore, those who take in the disabled are providing the invaluable service of providing a cover for the many accusations that Catholics, among others, just don’t care about you unless you’re a fetus or terminally brain-dead.
Is that supposed to be a stereo pair?
Might make a .gif of sorts.
Klo?
I think it’s Ben Shapiro’s wife.
Dunno why, but as a teen I had a fascination with the Borgias. I was a weird kid.
The Sisters of Mercy tended be be a gateway to Borgia obsession for many impressionable youths. Maybe K-Lo should nominate them for a Nobel.
Might make a .gif of sorts.
Makes a nice Christmas .gif. Does the Nobel Committee award prizes for callipygianosity?
Actually, that is literally communism. And while it is laudable, it really only points out that if you spend the time and the money, developmentally disabled humans can have good lives too.
Stuff us Sadlynaughts already knew.
Worthy of acclaim and and award to be sure. I’m not sure if it’s really worth a Noble, but if you want to think so that is your right.
But K-Lo was more about why Obama didn’t deserve it, which is lame.
Therein will thee find thine hated and ravaging snark.
Feeling a bit verbose tonight.
heh.
Verbose schlong is verbose!
Garrulous, even!
Philosophy, newsletter, etc,
Oh, yeah, I was wondering if
After all, Catholics want to read about Catholics (usually schoolgirls locked up in dormitories with communal showers).
meant the Catholics who wanted to read were the schoolgirls in the showers, or if all Catholics wanted to read about the lock-up dorms & residents. (It’s a mystery to me.)
the Catholics who wanted to read were the schoolgirls in the showers
I imagine it would be hard to read in the shower.
I imagine it would be hard to read in the shower.
Veiled penis reference.
For truly awesome popes, though, it’s hard to beat John XII. Or the original John XXIII (Baldassare Cossa), who embarrassed the Church so much that the next John used the same number. (Yes, they claim he wasn’t canonically elected and didn’t count. But nor was John VIII, but they count him. And there never was a John XX, because they LOST count.)
I think the next pope should be a Cyberpope.
OT, but anybody in the NY Metro Area should check out the free screenings of “Quirky Science Shorts” at the Imagine Science Film Festival tonight.
Sorry for posting again so quickly (where are the antipodeans and the insomniacs, and the antipodean insomniacs?), but I noticed that nobody was showing any love for Pope Joan.
Nobody’s showing any love for “Catholic High School Girls In Trouble” either.
Nobody’s showing any love for “Catholic High School Girls In Trouble” either.
The juxtaposition with the K-Lo picture is too much to handle.
Squish.
What if you were alone in an alley with Cesare Borgia
And he was coming torgia…
(Ogden Nash)
What if you were alone in an alley with Cesare Borgia
And he was coming torgia…
Would he want to steal your shoes?
Or invite you to an orgia?
K-Lodon vs. Mecha-Pope! The blindest follower battles the clangiest hierophant in a fight of epic boredom!
…”Mother Teresa of Africa.” … she saves lives by approaching every man and woman…capable of discerning moral choices even in the most dire of circumstances.”
Sure, because guilting African women who’ve been victimized by rape, sodomy and starvation, into having another child is such an act of God.
Particularly when said woman, as usual is ostracized from her family and community for the crime of being rape, is deprived of basic pre-natal care and most often suffering from life threatening and painful fistulas and other physical damage due to rape and extreme patriarchy.
Yeah, the Catholic church has got it rockin’ all over the world for da holy womyn folks.
They suffer and die in her arms and the little children weep for the mercy of the Priest so and so at the refugee camp.
Fuck you Catholic K-Lo bitch and half.
Yes, the Catlick Church has a spotless, stellar record of working to promote peace. I mean, just look at how it has apologized for intervening in Nazi Germany and how it has apologized for abusing altar boys, and for calling Jews “Christkillers” for milennia, and…
Dunno why, but as a teen I had a fascination with the Borgias
Why stop now?
Yes, the Catlick Church has a spotless, stellar record of working to promote peace. I mean, just look at how it has apologized for intervening in Nazi Germany and how it has apologized for abusing altar boys, and for calling Jews “Christkillers” for milennia, and…
And what? Nitpicker.
..and Muslims for calling Islam a violent religion, and Galileo Galilei for that whole “earth revolves around the sun” thing, and…
(It’s a mystery to me.)
There’s only one way to truly find out – I propose an in-depth probing investigation of Catholic schoolgirls in showers. For Science, of course.
I’ve always thought the pope looks like Norman Fell. http://victorian.fortunecity.com/crescent/503/pope2.jpg
Ratzo as Mr. Poper?
I’ve always thought the pope looks like Norman Fell.
Come and knock on my door…we’ve been waiting for yoooooooooooooou…
Bouffant has three funny videos of John Ziegler being a shitbag at some conservative event:
http://mbouffant.blogspot.com/2009/10/john-ziegler-helps-consevative-movement.html
Catch us tomorrow night for our debut at St. Pious of the Blood Wart in Indianapolis, you can pick up our latest hit, “Nothing like the Smell of Burning Heretics in the Morning.”
All from our debut album, “Zygotes for the Vatican.” Available in fine Catholic reading centers everywhere.
Aaaaaaand, more hilarious “jokes” about hunting liberals.
(Off-topic, of course, but Jesus Fucking Christ on a Stick, despite my cynicism, I am still surprised at the extent of the stupidity and pure evil that exists in the GOP).
Truculent:
It seems, maybe I’m biased, but it does seem that the Republican party is getting its steam from harnessing extreme hatred and evil.
Seems and again, maybe that’s my skewed viewpoint, but I deal with the public in my work everyday and it seems that the level of nasty, disrespectitude and generally Arrogance About Being an Ignorant Ass is creeping up to scary levels.
The Republicans are like yeast feeding on the empty calories of ignorance and all around is the smell of the resultant byproduct of hatred.
It seems, maybe I’m biased, but it does seem that the Republican party is getting its steam from harnessing extreme hatred and evil.
Personally, I’m all for that.
The Republicans are like yeast feeding on the empty calories of ignorance and all around is the smell of the resultant byproduct of hatred.
I’m just wondering what outcome they expect from this kind of shit. I mean, are they really as eliminationist as they sound? I just find it hard to believe that the assholes saying this type of shit honestly think that their fellow Americans should be hunted and killed because of their political beliefs. Are they trying to get attention and money? Or do they really want violence? It’s really scary.
I just find it hard to believe that the assholes saying this type of shit honestly think that their fellow Americans should be hunted and killed because of their political beliefs. Are they trying to get attention and money? Or do they really want violence? It’s really scary.
The topic’s been kicked around here before (no, really?) and the best explanation I’ve seen is the “stalker” analogy. In wingnuts’ minds, “If I can’t have him/her, no one can.” And that sentiment runs the gamut from the Wall Street Journal Op/Ed page to the craziest of the wingnut blogs.
In other words: “I’ll do anything, anything to keep him/her mine.”
You know, looking at K-Lo’s list again, I’ve decided that it’s not Catholic enough. Pope? What a total fake Catholic. There’s tons of folks more Catholic than Benny Nice Shoes – like Francis Griffin or Ross Douthat or Dana Carvey. After all, K-Lo is arguing that “Catholicness” is the primary metric for determining who gets next year’s Peace Prize.
Personally, I’m all for that.
I would be if I thought the only outcome would be that the Republicans are thoroughly trounced and relegated to the dustbin of history. Unfortunately, I think that this type of rhetoric could lead to real violence and I’m fucking sick of hearing it.
The topic’s been kicked around here before (no, really?) and the best explanation I’ve seen is the “stalker” analogy. In wingnuts’ minds, “If I can’t have him/her, no one can.” And that sentiment runs the gamut from the Wall Street Journal Op/Ed page to the craziest of the wingnut blogs.
Yeah, I do think that’s part of it and totally explains the secession/civil war rhetoric. But there’s also this blatant encouragement of right-wing violence and terrorism against liberals that seems to be more and more common these days. Have these guys just hidden their opinions before and have decided that it’s now acceptable to say these things? Or are they truly trying to create an environment where (more) liberals are killed?
Have these guys just hidden their opinions before and have decided that it’s now acceptable to say these things? Or are they truly trying to create an environment where (more) liberals are killed?
I blame the Internet. In two ways:
1) It gives the most insiginificant players a seat at the dialogue table (even if it is the kiddie table)
2) Unfortunately, it also allows those people with rational, reasonable minds with opposing viewpoints a very scary and very unreal estimation of the power and popularity of these views.
1) It gives the most insiginificant players a seat at the dialogue table (even if it is the kiddie table)
2) Unfortunately, it also allows those people with rational, reasonable minds with opposing viewpoints a very scary and very unreal estimation of the power and popularity of these views.
So, do you think that fears and concerns about this type of rhetoric are overblown, especially among those of us who keep an eye on wingnuts as a hobby? Or are you saying that the news media give way too much attention to this type of shit, making it even more insidious and powerful than it might have been? Or both?
OT: Tintin, in case you’re taking requests
Looch, I’ve always thought the cons sound like abusive partners when they explain their shitty actions toward liberals, so it makes sense that their language would become more violent and abusive as “real Americans” show that they have minds of their own and won’t march in lockstep with the con agenda.
T&U,
I think we who blog and pay a lot of attention to these opinions can’t see the forest for the trees, essentially.
Think about the tropes that we’ve poked fun at (and others have gotten their panties in a twist over): birthers, death panels, socialized medicine, nationalizing the banks, secret Muslims, internment camps, and so on.
The effect on national opinion of any of these has been nearly zero.
Now, I’ll give you that, all it takes is one fucking loon with a gun, but I think for the most part, even the mainstream conservatives in charge are both embarassed by and discrediting as quickly as possible the more extremist rhetoric.
even the mainstream conservatives in charge
Who dey?
OT: Tintin, in case you’re taking requests
Hee hee. That is a thing of beauty. I second that request.
Now, I’ll give you that, all it takes is one fucking loon with a gun, but I think for the most part, even the mainstream conservatives in charge are both embarassed by and discrediting as quickly as possible the more extremist rhetoric.
See, I really don’t see a lot of mainstream conservatives speaking out against this kind of shit. I know it happens–hell, Lindsay fucking Graham spoke out against it–but I don’t think it happens enough, given the level of bullshit that is out there.
I may also be more sensitive to it because I grew up in a red-ass area and am in a reddish-purple state now and some of these morans are my and my rural-dwelling family and friends’ neighbors.
even the mainstream conservatives in charge
Who dey?
The folks covering their eyes.
T&U
Here’s a stat that ought to comfort you, then. I heard it on the McLaughlin Group this weekend.
In the election last year, in exit polls, only 26% of Americans identified themselves as Republicans.
That figure this year is down to 22%.
The folks covering their eyes.
Veiled bondage reference.
actor–That does make me feel better. Also, I just read this.
The folks covering their eyes.
Veiled bondage reference.
It’s like the Cialis commercials: “If you notice a decrease in vision because your eyes are blocked by your erect PENIS stop taking Cialis and call your doctor.”
That figure this year is down to 22%.
Those numbers are nearing San Francisco levels. Who’d a thunk it?
“If you notice a decrease in vision because your eyes are blocked by your erect PENIS stop taking Cialis and call your doctor.”
I doubt any wingnut’s penis is even close to being that impressive.
I doubt any wingnut’s penis is even close to being that impressive.
You have to remember their heads are up their asses…
I thought Pope Ratzinger looked like Simon bar Sinister from
the Underdog comics. Sorry I don’t have a picture to prove it.
I kinda doubt they have any villains with names like that on Spongebob.
Oh well, lost innocence.
Catclub, here ya go:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/82/SimonBarSinister.jpg
I thought Pope Ratzinger looked like Simon bar Sinister from
the Underdog comics. Sorry I don’t have a picture to prove it.
Hey! We’re trying to stay off-topic here. Sheesh.
You have to remember their heads are up their asses…
I try not to remember anything about wingnut anatomy, actually. Keeps the nightmares at bay.
Yeah, yeah, I know. The topic is right over there. There.
Next to K-Lo’s sex appeal.
No, I couldn’t find it either. And I’m not going to keep looking, either.
“TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 20, 2009 at 17:35
“If you notice a decrease in vision because your eyes are blocked by your erect PENIS stop taking Cialis and call your doctor.”
I doubt any wingnut’s penis is even close to being that impressive.”
You have to remember, most of them have their heads up their asses, so it is possible. Less likely to be their own PENIS, granted, but still…
T&U, if you’re really curious about what makes the “I want my Amurica back” crowd tick and want well-researched peek into why they are collapsing into a neutron star of spiteful butthurt and violent fist-shaking, have a peek a Karen Stenner’s The Authoritarian Dynamic.
One of the interesting aspects of Stenner’s work (and, sadly, the reason it will probably never be as popular as it deserves to be) is that she treats the standard reactionary -isms (racism, sexism, religious and cultural intolerance, etc) as symptoms rather than root causes. As a bonus, her study goes a long way toward explaining why every right-wing political project is all about fear, Fear, FEAR of some vague but supposedly existential threat.
</humorless:dildo>
If the RC Church won’t consider just packing it in altogehter, it should at least contemplate a revival of Conciliarism [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conciliarism]. One less absolute monarch is a good thing. (I’m looking at you, too, Kingdom of Saud.)
OT: Tintin, in case you’re taking requests
Hee hee! “Low-brow culture is just not that great. Also it’s not conservative enough.”
Nobody’s showing any love for “Catholic High School Girls In Trouble” either.
Sorry, but the terms of my probation are very specific.
yes, even if they’re 18. Damn police state razzn frazzn.
The small tag worked in preview, but not for reals. WTF, yo.
And there never was a John XX, because they LOST count.
A —————SPOILER ALERT ————- would have been nice.
Looch, T &U and Actor212:
Get back to work and stop all that talking!
Or I’ll shoot ya.
Damn liberal, hippy thinking types. Where’s my gun?
But Sistah! Sissah Mary Discpline gave me a hall pass!
Could the photoshops of K Lo get any more grotesque? We are well into Francis Bacon territory.
Get back to work and stop all that talking!
Or I’ll shoot ya.
Damn liberal, hippy thinking types. Where’s my gun?
Don’t you mean “collection plate?”
How much?