Osama bin Appleseed
As we approach the annual season of wingnuts fretting about the liberal war on this or that holiday, the particularly gullible Matthew Vadum has discovered another liberal war on a holiday. In this case, it concerns Obama’s vilest plot yet, his plot against September 11, the day on which no other subject is to be discussed and on which all Americans are supposed to be dressed in the blackest of crepe bathed in the bitterest of tears. According to Matthew, if Obama has his way, September 11 would be renamed “tarehe kumi na moja mwezi wa tisa,” which is Swahili for September 11 and which no ordinary American can ever remember, much less pronounce. School children will no longer be allowed to sing 9-11 songs at their 9-11 pageants, but will instead be forced to sing socialist stuff like “This Land is My Land,” “L’Internationale” (in French!!! ) and “Big Yellow Taxi.” Department store clerks will no longer greet their customers with the traditional September 11 greeting of “My Heartfelt Condolences for Our Country’sTragic Loss,” but rather will brightly and cheerfully greet customers with “Happy Barack Obama Green Day.”
So I invite you to join me on a trip through Matthew’s latest cry for help and plea for re-adjustment of his meds: “Obama’s Plan to Desecrate 9/11”
The Obama White House is behind a cynical, coldly calculated political effort to erase the meaning of the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks from the American psyche and convert Sept. 11 into a day of leftist celebration and statist idolatry. The president signed into law a measure in April that designated Sept. 11 as a National Day of Service, but it’s not likely many lawmakers thought this meant that day was going to be turned into a celebration of ethanol, carbon emission controls, and radical community organizing.
Of course, Matthew twists the facts here by giving the wrong name for the holiday. It’s not the “National Day of Service,” but the “National Day of Service and Remembrance.” But if Matthew mentioned the “and Remembrance” part, that would more or less shoot to shit his claim that under the new law, September 11 would be completely dedicated to to planting trees in the shape of a crescent facing Mecca and scouting libraries to remove copies of the 9-11 report and replacing them with copies of The Joy of Gay Sex.
More sinisterly, Obama has put another Negro in charge of these tree-hugging, kumbaya-singing sessions that will replace the traditional keening and revenge-fantasy sessions that are more appropriate for the solemn day.
The administration’s plans were outlined in an Aug. 11 White House-sponsored teleconference call run by Obama ally Lennox Yearwood, president of the Hip Hop Caucus. Yearwood, who uses the honorific “Reverend” before his name, has been in the news in recent years, usually for getting arrested.
Vadum prefers to mention the Hip Hop Caucus connection for Reverend Yearwood, rather than his position as the National Director of the Gulf Coast Renewal Campaign because, of course, “Hip Hop” has more scary blackness to it. Another loathsome swipe at Yearwood is to say that “he uses the honorific ‘Reverend’ before his name,” which makes him sound like some Internet graduate of “His Holy Hallelujah African-American Temple of Light Church Preacher’s School,” rather than as someone who earned the right to use the honorific after graduating with a Master of Divinity from Howard University. Oh, and did Matthew mention that Yearwood is an Iraq war veteran? Not so much.
The plan is to turn a “day of fear” that helps Republicans into a day of activism called the National Day of Service that helps the left. In other words, nihilistic liberals are planning to drain 9/11 of all meaning.
I am assuming that this momentary lapse into honesty by Vadum was completely unintentional.
According to Matthew, the group behind the desecration of 9/11 is “a coalition of far-left … groups” such as, get this, Friends of the Earth, the National Wildlife Federation, and the National Black Police Association, three groups somewhat to the left of both the Baader-Meinhof Gang and Hugo Chavez.
With the help of the Obama administration, the coalition is launching a public relations campaign under the radar of the mainstream media — which remains almost uniformly terrified of criticizing the nation’s first black president — to try to change 9/11 from a day of reflection and remembrance to a day of activism, food banks, and community gardens.
And, as we all know, every time you plant a tree or a vegetable garden or feed a poor person, the terrorists win.
Which is crazier: the things this clown writes, or his assumption that non-crazy people will read it and believe it?
Be specific and remember to show your work.
Because, as we know, the true meaning of 9/11 was for all of us to wet our pants in fear of the scary ebil mooslim. And until Obama starts invading countries that had nothing to do with 9/11 when it comes to cynical exploitation, he ain’t got nothing on W.
Yearwood, who uses the honorific “Reverend” before his name,
aka, “Yearwood claims to be a Reverend, but I don’t believe him cuz he is teh blaxx0rs and I can’t be bothered to research it.”
Wasn’t there some attempt at a 9/11 parade a few years back, in which participants all wore identical Pentagon-approved polo shirts and goose-stepped and stuff like that? And they called it like Freedom from Terror Love America Cut Taxes Day?
Or did I dream it?
celebration of ethanol? awesome!
Um … if Obama were really Muslim, wouldn’t he frown on a celebration of ethanol?
Then again, in my experience with members of the Muslim faith, they are much like Baptists (of the officially no alcohol variety) are with respect to good ol’ demon rum: they follow every other aspect of their religious tradition and then kinda ignore the no alcohol part and just pay it occasional lip service.
Isn’t he about six months late on this?
Not to nitpick, but to nitpick:
You mean there was more than one country lost? Or did you mean “Country’s” … ?
Also. Not to nitpick some more, but …
PENIS!
Vadum is Vadumber:
What a doosh…Both guys are white, by the way…
Vadum,
Vadum,
Vadum, Vadum, Vadum,
Vadum, Vaduuuuuuuuuuuum, Vadum, Vadum…
Freedom from Terror Love America Cut Taxes Day?
I was too busy having my ashes hauled by an anti-sex league worker to notice.
Now wait a minute…
The Republican “legacy” of 9/11 was shredding the Constitution, plunging us into a completely unnecessary and useless war, transforming the world’s sympathy into hostility seemingly overnight, ballooning deficits, warrantless searches and arrests, and a whole host of other things too depressing to contemplate.
Not to mention that if Bush had been, oh, say, doing his fucking job in the first place, 9/11 might never have happened.
And this guy is afraid Obama might make us forget all that?
Hell, if I were a Republican, I’d be cheering every tree and every seed (stalk? cutting?) of arugula that gets planted. Anything to distract people from a record of abject failure.
Hell, if I were a Republican, I’d be cheering every tree and every seed (stalk? cutting?) of arugula that gets planted. Anything to distract people from a record of abject failure.
No, if you were a Republican, you’d be just as bad at thinking things through as the rest of them. Which is why you’re not a Republican.
I clicked the link. I looked. And here was the first comment:
“For me, it’ll always be the day that gun-control caused it’s biggest single-day fatality figure in US history. True, in the long run, gun control has killed and maimed many more than the 3,000 (just the deaths) in NY City that day. By stripping the constitutional rights of Americans at airports and aboard airplanes, there is blood on the hands of all of the gun-control nuts from 9/11/2001. Of course 19 Muslims are to blame, but gun control is what is called a “contributing factor” and none of the people on the ground (NYC and DC) would have been hurt had just a few passengers and/or crew on each of the 4 aircraft been armed.”
Don’t go over there. Don’t look!
I’m going out to start the lawnmower and stick my head under it.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG !!
Michele Malkin just popped up on the screen asking for money.
I just don’t get it. I really don’t. Do they really really believe what they write? Or is this just to make sure the sweet sweet manna of wingnut keeps falling from the sky? I keep waiting for one of them to crack and say “Bwah hah hah I only wrote that for the money!”
Michele Malkin just popped up on the screen asking for money.
Me too. Eeek!
Vrooom.
The real problem which you libruls won’t even mention is how Obama is trying to secularize and also take God out of 9/11.
Isn’t every day celebrate ethanol day?
Which is crazier:[…]
Dunno if that question even makes sense. They’re both infinitely crazy.
The hard part for me is figuring out which ones are craaaazeee, which are merely phenomenally st00pid and which are clever enough to realize the idiocy and whackiness but are vile, malicious, exploitation artists.
Those are mostly disjoint sets with possibly some overlap between psychotic and dumb.
I’m going out to start the lawnmower and stick my head under it.
Wouldn’t sticking HIS head under it make more sense???
Wait, is someone actually saying that passengers on an airplane should have been able to open fire on the hijackers?
In a fucking airplane?
And let’s not even get into the fact that Pammycakes thinks that this is the day when Obama will launch his private army and declare himself High Blackazoid Leader for Life and outlaw bikinis.
Or something.
the day that gun-control caused it’s biggest single-day fatality figure in US history
If only 10% of the victims that day had been packing, that would be about 299 x 1.5 average guns each x (6 bullets + 6 reloads) / 2 planes roughly 2691 shots each plane. They would’ve totally been shot down before they got anywhere near the Twin Towers.
That’s assuming excess bureaucratic regulations wouldn’t’ve prevented those in the Twin Towers from opening the windows for a better shot.
Wait, is someone actually saying that passengers on an airplane should have been able to open fire on the hijackers?
In a fucking airplane?
Now now, Mythbusters proved there is absolutely no truth to the movie myth that shooting out a window would cause explosive decompression.
Of course, they didn’t factor in the death ratio of sitting ducks as the plane gets buffetted around while the pilots wrestle with the hijackers…
I heard bang-bang and then I went poopie but not on the potty.
And let’s not even get into the fact that Pammycakes thinks that this is the day when Obama will launch his private army and declare himself High Blackazoid Leader for Life and outlaw bikinis.
Ixnayyyyy, Attymay…erethay aymay beway ReeperFays urkinglay isthay logbay!
Are you going to post something about Ted Kennedy?
Well, if the terrorists bring guns on a plane, I’ll bring a hand grenade! That’ll show ’em!
I would prefer a candlelight reading of ‘My Pet Goat’ instead.
Wait, is someone actually saying that passengers on an airplane should have been able to open fire on the hijackers?
IIRC, Archie Bunker made this same argument on TV (that is, in his TV-world he was on TV spouting this). His opinion was treated, on the show, as self-evidently stupid; these days the standards for stupid have slipped.
none of the people on the ground (NYC and DC) would have been hurt had just a few passengers and/or crew on each of the 4 aircraft been armed
Because if all the hijackers had been able to bring guns on instead of just box cutters, the crashes would’ve been soooo much easier to avert because SHUT UP THAT’S WHY.
And Jay B. posted a wonderful comment at TBogg’s place, in which he talks about what it was really like in NYC- the lines to give blood, the people walking toward the fallen towers, etc. Not just a time of fear, as pee-pantsed righties would have us believe, but a time of reaching out to help, reaching out to touch another hurting person. Hell, I remember NPR reporting that people were anonymously ordering gifts for strangers just because they wanted to do something nice for someone, anyone.
Of course, they didn’t factor in the death ratio of sitting ducks as the plane gets buffetted around while the pilots wrestle with the hijackers…
Sadly, the ducks already got sucked into the engine. Also, they were flying.
Well, if the terrorists bring guns on a plane, I’ll bring a hand grenade! That’ll show ‘em!
And people wonder why I want to fly first class all the time.
I would prefer a candlelight reading of ‘My Pet Goat’ instead.
I really like this idea. I can picture my friends doing it.
Not just a time of fear, as pee-pantsed righties would have us believe, but a time of reaching out to help, reaching out to touch another hurting person.
That’s NYC, tho. When we have a blackout, crime goes down, not up. Citizens help the cops by directing traffic ad hoc (OK, that can get messy, but it helps). We have fewer fires despite more candles and matches being lit.
And nine months later, the birth rate ticks up.
I doubt that last happened in March 2002, of course. We were not just scared, we were sad and angry, too. I remember smiling at cops and thanking them for weeks afterwards, firemen too.
We handle crises very well, thanks.
to try to change 9/11 from a day of reflection and remembrance to a day of activism, food banks, and community gardens.
Oh god, please don’t turn the anniversary of something terrible into a positive way for our country to grow! Anything but that!!!
Food banks and community gardens, OH SHIT you guys we might help each other out! We can’t have THAT!
On the plus side, he is openly admitting that anything that actually strengthens community is a “leftist” idea. So.
I don’t understand how the RW fetishizes 9/11 and thinks for some reason that if we could just all recall the grand spirit of . . . what the fuck ever it was we were supposed to be feeling on that day . . . that we would all just “come back to God” and be good little fascist drones.
What I remember feeling on 9/12/20001–1/20/2009 was mostly a low-level sense of dread, mounting anger at the rank incompetence of the staggerwits dumkoffs who let it happen and failed over and over and over and over again to catch and prosecute the fucksticks responsible, and a gathering realization that I would NEVER be able to trust a Republican again with anything I cared about.
If they want to repeat that experience I guarantee I’ll come out of it hating Republicans even MORE than I do now, and more convinced than ever that the GOP must be completely annihilated for the good of America.
So, don’t wish for it wingtards. You won’t like what happens.
…radical community organizing.
…radical community organizing.
…radical community organizing.
…RADICAL COMMUNITY ORGANIZING.
Fuck.
The Exiled: mad-midget-2-matthew-vadum-yaps-with-a-vengeance
Actor, I guess what I’m saying is it wasn’t only New Yorkers who responded that way, though of course they did it first and best. Donations poured in the Red Cross from all over, people gave blood everywhere, everybody seemed genuinely interested in helping each other, at least for a while. Which is why a day of pensive service to our fellow man would fit the day better than anything else possibly could.
Tig, I guess I did leave the impression that charity was limited to NY. I’m sorry. I was responding to the pee in the pants attitude that the right wing had.
I wasn’t scared by 9/11 as much as they were, at least not until my building was evacuated for a bomb threat.
Then I lost it, I admit it. But that was hundreds of hours later after watching coverage nearly all night for three nights.
If these asshats had the same attitude on August 11 2009 as they did on September 12, 2009, national healthcare would be in existence already.
And nine months later, the birth rate ticks up.
Eh, not really. (Not after 9/11, either.)
I NEEED MY DAY OF VICTIMHOOD!! People need to know HOW MUCH I’VE SUFFURED for being a white American Christian male, the most put upon group in the world!!111!!
If you dont give me this you are worse then Hitler!!!
Pffft. What the fuck do a buncha big city faggotses like New York know about 9/11 and what it meant to this nation? You gotta go to places like Oklahoma or Alabama where people still know how to be real patriots and celebrate the country’s Confederate heritage like we were supposed to.
Wasn’t there some attempt at a 9/11 parade a few years back, in which participants all wore identical Pentagon-approved polo shirts and goose-stepped and stuff like that? And they called it like Freedom from Terror Love America Cut Taxes Day?
Aha, Here’s some stuff about the event I was thinking of.
I gotcha, Actor.
Vadum’s argument pisses me off because A) his notions of what are the “right” and “wrong” ways to commemorate are antithetical to the way people actually responded at the time and B) UTTERLY hypocritical considering the “pro-troops” rally/hoedown and “Freedom Walk” bullshit the Bush administration pulled. THAT was a “cynical, coldly calculated political effort” of statist idolatry.
THAT was a “cynical, coldly calculated political effort” of statist idolatry.
You remember it more clearly than I did, but I definitely had the same impression – happily, it looks like it wasn’t very successful.
And Jay B. posted a wonderful comment at TBogg’s place, in which he talks about what it was really like in NYC- the lines to give blood, the people walking toward the fallen towers, etc. Not just a time of fear, as pee-pantsed righties would have us believe, but a time of reaching out to help, reaching out to touch another hurting person. Hell, I remember NPR reporting that people were anonymously ordering gifts for strangers just because they wanted to do something nice for someone, anyone.
Sure, sure the real victims want to have a national day of service and remembrance. To help deal with grief. But the right-wing non-victims want to have a day oh howler monkey poop-flinging rage to commemorate the Great Pants Pee of aught-one. Why can’t you think of their feelings too?
The plan is to turn a “day of fear” that helps Republicans
I can’t click on the link.
Just what does Vadum propose as a proper celebration of the “day of fear”?
someone at Tbogg’s place (not Jay, the intelligent New Yorker, but some utter jerk) wrote it should be A day to rededicate towards eradicating the people who would end our way of life.
Isn’t that nice? Celebrate the deaths of 9/11 by dedicating your efforts towards killing people.
Euripides said,
The Exiled: mad-midget-2-matthew-vadum-yaps-with-a-vengeance
I read there that Mark Ames describes Vadum as “America’s favorite little waffendwarf”, which bears repeating. Repeatedly.*
I also see that when Vadum quotes Latin tags he ruins the effect by immediately translating them for the benefit of his presumably less-educated readers. Non-U, alas. Let us draw a discrete veiled veil-reference over it.
* Can’t find an image anywhere of Hunt Emerson’s “waffenwabbit” cartoon.
I wasn’t scared by 9/11 as much as they were, at least not until my building was evacuated for a bomb threat.
That’s what gets me. The people most worked up about this are people that live in “Cattle Gap, Egypt” as my father would say. The people in New York got over it and went about their lives. It’s the people in West Bumfuck that want so badly to be “in” on 9/11 because sad to say that is what they need to get a bigger meaning to their petty existence.
What’s bizarre is getting involved in service work is the easiest way to get involved in something a little bigger, yet these cretins need war to give their lives meaning.
Sorry, I’m snarkless today. Why can’t people like Vadum live in my town so I get a fine assault charge to add meaning to my life?
someone at Tbogg’s place (not Jay, the intelligent New Yorker, but some utter jerk) wrote it should be A day to rededicate towards eradicating the people who would end our way of life.
Oh that fucker (commenter Dloerke, which I took to be a play on “de-lurk”) got a whole ‘nother thread dedicated to him. He came back and was a grade A anal cyst all the way ’round, saying Obama is siding with the terrorists and that anybody that thought W screwed the pooch was an “enemy of the country”. Beats me what fuck-all country he is talking about.
Gawd, no wonder the wingers are going nuts, even on a 6-month time delay. Let’s sweeten the deal a little for them:
to change 9/11 from a day of reflection and remembrance to a day of activism, food banks, and community gardens, as well as a 24-hour suspension of background checks for all gun purchases.
You remember it more clearly than I did
If that be true, it is prima facie evidence that I need more beer.
Why can’t you think of their feelings too?
I think their feelings are fine. FOR ME TO POOP ON.
That’s what gets me. The people most worked up about this are people that live in “Cattle Gap, Egypt” as my father would say. The people in New York got over it and went about their lives. It’s the people in West Bumfuck that want so badly to be “in” on 9/11 because sad to say that is what they need to get a bigger meaning to their petty existence.
I think they got their feelings hurt. You see, they though Heartland, America was real America. But the terrorists bombed New York, because that’s America to many, many people who don’t live here. That’s the insult that they can’t forgive.
What kind of things does one do at a celebration to rededicate oneself to killing other human beings? I’m in Event Planning, and would really like to know. What about menu?
Maybe we should make up some winger holidays so they don’t feel left out. What about “Shave the Ta-tas”? Jonah could lead people into a new era of fat hairy man grooming.
Just what does Vadum propose as a proper celebration of the “day of fear”?
I suggest trick-or-treating. Works fine for the other horror holiday!
Just what does Vadum propose as a proper celebration of the “day of fear”?
A military recruitment campaign to enlist wingnuts?
Just what does Vadum propose as a proper celebration of the “day of fear”?
Obviously something completely non-cynical, non-calculating, and non-statist. Perhaps the Pentagon could stage a parade and country bear jamboree to boost unpopular wars? For snackies, I suggest the infants of our enemies, snatched from the arms of their mothers and dashed against stones… they’re Biblically delicious!
A military recruitment campaign to enlist wingnuts?
Yellow Elephant Day was more fun when it wasn’t so commercialised.
Is there some kind of rule in the Dangerous Book for Conservative Pundits that says you have to be:
*doughy
*fat-faced
*pear-shaped
?
I’m pretty sure there must be, because I’ll lick Glenn Beck’s third chin if you can point me to one.
And here is Youtube to provide all that sociopathic-hobbit imagery that you didn’t know you wanted.
Is there some kind of rule in the Dangerous Book for Conservative Pundits that says you have to be: *doughy *fat-faced *pear-shaped
There are two. One (the more popular) says you have to have a chinmullet, the other says nothing on that topic.
Points of Light Institute/HandsOn Network
Ah, Pappy Bush’s charity. The one where Neil Bush sits on the board of directors. George W. Bush was the first to suggest (sometime in 2002) that 9/11 be a day of service. He gave kerjillions of dollars of government money to that selfsame charity to teach kids how to serve and shit as a part of that. Are we all just supposed to pretend that didn’t happen? Or is it a bigger conspiracy — a 50+ year effort by the Bushes and allies to destroy Republicanism from within?
It would make sense that the Bushes would be a part of this conspiracy. Obama is secretly a member of the Bush clan and Skull & Bones (he joined when he was supposedly in Afghanistan training to be a terrorist.) All that birther nonsense, etc. is just an effort to cover up the fact that Obama bears a striking resemblance to someone known to call himself Rodolfo Bush (aka Dolph-Dolph), supposedly George W.’s half Cuban half brother’s cousin.
Don’t let go of your fear! It’s all we have! Oh, remember those happy days, when everybody was so scared they were walking crooked, and actually thought that Bush and Cheney were leaders? Please God, let them be afraid again!
That’s some crazy. That’s crazy times infinity. That’s crazy divided by zero.
That’s crazy divided by the square root of negative zero.
The plan is to turn a “day of fear” that helps Republicans into a day of activism called the National Day of Service that helps the left.
What the fuck.
What the Fuck!
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Then again, in my experience with members of the Muslim faith, they are much like Baptists (of the officially no alcohol variety) are with respect to good ol’ demon rum: they follow every other aspect of their religious tradition and then kinda ignore the no alcohol part and just pay it occasional lip service.
A friend used to make a big Muslim show of not ordering bacon at breakfast after our all-night drunken gay club fests. We all do what we can.
Man, Obama’s going to make this the worst September 11th EVER!
The old invisible-PR-campaign trick. Dastardly! I think Stalin came up with that.
I read the Spectator piece (What can I say? It was my patriotic duty, I read so you didn’t have to) and yeah, waded through seeing Michelle Malkin asking for money and the lunatic that thought carrying guns onto planes was a bright idea and actually, I think the Left’s proposed use for the date 9-11 is a marvelous one! How do right-wingers currently use the day? I’ll let one of the commentators explain:
Are you kidding me? The Left has lost their minds, their souls, their pride, and their right to call themselves Americans if this B.S. is true. Our Soldiers are still over there (agree with the War or not) delivering our answer to Islam’s Declaration of War against America.
In other words, 9-11 has nothing to do with being a day of “prayer” and “reflection” and everything to do with war and death and destruction to the furriner overseas. I think it’s a magnificent idea to turn the day over to a celebration of alternative energy.
Let us never forget the true meaning of 9/11.
Man, Obama’s going to make this the worst September 11th EVER!
Yea! No PRESENTS under the burning Hannukah bush! No fair!
And nine months later, the birth rate ticks up.
Eh, not really.
In fairness, I did say “ticks” and not “leaps”. It was up, just not in an outlying fashion. Within bounds of normal deviance (go ahead…I’m leaving that one out there) but up nonetheless.
#Angry Geometer said,
It would make sense that the Bushes would be a part of this conspiracy. Obama is secretly a member of the Bush clan and Skull & Bones (he joined when he was supposedly in Afghanistan training to be a terrorist.)
———————————–
Ah, right. Now all this wingnut anger at Obama makes sense. Obama went to Harvard, not Yale.
Got it.
Who is this ass clown Vadum and why are we talking about him?
“scary ebil mooslim”
Hilarious!
Yep, Obama is tarnishing the memory of 9-11 by associating it with George W. Bush !
The Republicans have been using 9/11 to scare the American people for almost 8 years now… They don’t want people to feel anything but FEAR. That’s their MO.
I like the idea of getting together for candlelight readings of My Pet Goat for the day of rememberance. But I think the thing that made me really nuts was reading in a Vanity Fair interveiw sometime after in which W recounted what he went through that day and said that he and Laura had a nice laugh before they went to bed that night over the fact they had to sleep in the bunker. After reading that the Bush behavior on the whole Katrina thing was no surprise.