The Reason It’s Still America’s Shittiest

snidely_kirsanow

Somewhat Shorter Snidely Kirsanow, America’s Shittiest Website™
Let Them Eat Cake

  • Instead of going to Martha’s Vineyard for vacation, Obama should give the cost of that trip to the U.S. Treasury to help pay off the deficit he created.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Four other equally compelling reasons Obama shouldn’t take a vacation on Martha’s Vineyard:

1. Obama is needed in DC to prevent late blight from destroying the tomatoes in the White House garden.

2. Obama needs to reprimand Maxine Waters for calling some Republican senators opposing the public option “Neanderthals.”

3. Obama has to be in DC to handle the fallout from his “Dick Panels” which will determine which newborn infant boys should be forced to have mandatory circumcisions.

4. Obama could help Brian Dotart find the chihuahua that a man with a Britney Spears tattoo stole from Dotart in a gay bar in South Beach.

 

Comments: 139

 
 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

And what about all the brush piling up in Texas? Somebody gotta do something!

 
 

And then there’s all that brush to clear.

 
 

Instead of going to Martha’s Vineyard for vacation, Obama should give the cost of that trip to the U.S. Treasury to help pay off the deficit he created.

Someone remind Snidely of Mr. Preznit Vacation we just turned out of office.

Yeeesh.

 
 

OH FUCK YOU

 
 

2. Obama needs to reprimand Maxine Waters for calling some Republican senators opposing the public option “Neanderthals.”

SERIOUSLY, that was OUTRAGEOUS. “Cro Magnon” would’ve been better.

 
 

Tea baggers should be one word, yes? Correcting that error, Kissanob’s word count is 62. Tintin managed to say more with only 28 words. Well done, m’boy.

I’m open to debate on the rodcount for wee-weed. One hyphenated word or two? The 62 figure above considers wee-weed One word. So, between tea baggers and that, plus his inapporpriate hyphenization in un-American the word count of the original is somewhat equivocated.

All in all, it’s nice to see that he’s pissing himself over nothing. Again.

 
 

I blame my keyboard and WP for rodcount. Could not possibly have been caused by anything other than a vast conspiracy involving the two.

 
 

Obama needs to reprimand Maxine Waters for calling some Republican senators opposing the public option “Neanderthals.”

O NOEZ! Is the Neanderthal lobby outraged? Will we see a million Neanderthal lurch on Washington?

 
 

Another reason he should be compelled to return to DC.

He restores balance to the Force.

 
 

O NOEZ! Is the Neanderthal lobby outraged? Will we see a million Neanderthal lurch on Washington?

The Teabaggers are coming back???

 
 

And wait, the deficit he created? Obama’s first budget is for FY 2010, so Mr. Whiplash is trying to get the wrong frog to pay the rent.

 
 

His last sentence does exhibit some rare self reflection for a wingnut. I’ll give him that.

“Some un-American tea baggers in flyover country are bound to get pretty wee-weed up.”

 
 

Clearly, to set the right tone in this time of economic crisis, the Obama’s should pack their suitcases into a 1976 Ford station wagon, and stay in Best Western motels in Peoria Illinois. And no putting tax-payer’s quarters into to those Magic Fingers machines!

Would that satisfy him? Probably not.

 
 

According to the LA Times, Waters was referring to members of her own party.

 
 

his “Dick Panels”

You see me now a veteran of a thousand foreskin restoration wars.

 
 

Waters was referring to G0Pers. Dunno if la la times gets that right.

 
 

I blame my keyboard and WP for rodcount. Could not possibly have been caused by anything other than a vast conspiracy involving the two

Oh sure, it had nothing to do with the “mandatory unveiled penis?” link. And hey, when are the sadlys going to touch on the Obama-circumcision debate that’s got the freepers all het up?

 
 

Yes, if there’s one thing the Democrats in Congress could learn from the Republicans, it’s the fine art of –

GO FUCK YOURSELF

– measured political discourse.

And accusations of treason. Also.

 
 

It looks especially bad because W almost never took vacations while he was spending Clinton’s surplus like a drunken sailor, launched uneccessary wars, and ran the largest deficits in history while helping to put the country into its worst economic crisis since the depression.

 
 

OK, maybe she was, in fact, referring to Baucus et. al. Never mind.

 
 

The birthers are now demanding to see Obama’s schlong. No. Really. Follow the link. It’s not a play on words.

 
 

Jesus, please tell me that Examiner link really isn’t a teabagger claiming HR 3200 will make circumcision mandatory. Please.

I don’t think I could take another load of bullshit from the assclowns today.

 
 

It’s only a fleeting glimmer gocart mozart. I am sure that by now any self reflection has been completely repressed.

“Even if the media doesn’t incessantly juxtapose the two items…” Yeah, I like how his idea of what the media should do is to be as batshit crazy as they are.

 
 

Via Crooks & Liars:

The fine Real Americans at the Free Republic have found Obama’s achilles heel: his Long Dark Staff of White Insecurity.

hoosiermama:
The only other thing that hit me was that Sinclair said BO was not circumcised. When my son was born in a hospital that was done as a matter of routine without even consulting us. Would the same be for Hawaii? OTOH People born at home or in some other cultures are not circumcised.

thecodont:
A relative of mine was born (in a hospital) a couple of years after BO’s alleged birth date. He was circumcised also (as a matter of routine, not according to any family request).

afraidfortherepublic:
My son was born in June of 1961 in a hospital in CA, and the nurses released us because of miscommunication in a day and a half before the circumcision was done. We had to go back to the doctor’s office to have it done a week later, and the doctor was NOT HAPPY. My second son was born in the same hospital 4 years later. I don’t remember them asking me about it. Routine procedure for little boys.

hoosiermama:
Wish we had someone to make a phone call to the hospitols in HI and ask if they routinely do circumcism and when that practice started.

MHGinTN:
You might want to make that call to a Canadian hospital …

MHGinTN:
No…it would have been in Kenya….not Canada.

Natural Born 54
I am having a vision of a court room scene. The judge turns to O sitting in the witness chair to his left and says “I am sorry, Mr. President, but I am going to have to ask you to stand and drop trou …..”

At least it saves time on a lot of sublimated desires and gets right out there with it.

 
 

You see me now a veteran of a thousand foreskin restoration wars.

The government will circumcise AND THEN RESTORE all at the whim of a unionized bureaucrat!

 
 

Comment over at C&L:

<===3,

or

o===3

that is the question.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

The birthers are now demanding to see Obama’s schlong. No. Really. Follow the link. It’s not a play on words.

Show the long form PENIS!!

 
 

Here’s the New York Times’ take on the CDC’s current mulling of circumcision. A bit different from the Examiner piece, but then, it is the MSM.

 
 

From that pic El Cid, I have to wonder if Obama is even black. He sure do look awful white to me. Just his head is black, could this all be part of the vast leftwing conspiracy?

 
 

FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK

Okay, I’m moving to Mars. Anyone want to join me?

 
 

SOON THEY WILL INSERT OBAMA’S PENIS INTO YOUR DAUGHTER’S VAGINA TO DETERMINE IF SHE IS VIRGINAL.

 
 

We need to set up a special Senate investigative panel with a blue ribbon commission led by Larry Craig.

 
 

“wee-wee’d up” was the Urbandictionary Word Of The Day on Friday. Did this nozzle use the term simply because it was the word of the day? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

 
 

Jesus, please tell me that Examiner link really isn’t a teabagger claiming HR 3200 will make circumcision mandatory. Please.

No, apparently CDC research shows it’s safer, but they haven’t even formulated any proposals yet, much less moved on anything. He’s worried about what maybe possibly might happen: “It is unclear whether the CDC will seek legislation to mandate circumcision, or if they will merely promote it as a good health practice.” And yet I’m still GOING! TO! PANIC! Sheesh.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

SERIOUSLY, that was OUTRAGEOUS. “Cro Magnon” would’ve been better.

Nah… the CroMagnon were too progressive, too interested in public funding for the arts.

Homo erectus would be a better characterization.

 
 

And yet I’m still GOING! TO! PANIC!

Really, though, haven’t we all panicked over a boner now and then?

 
 

Freepers obsessing over a black man’s penis. That’s like the exact opposite of gay. I bet the only evidence that will satisfy them is if they each get to touch the vault copy with their own bare hands.

 
 

SERIOUSLY.

WHAT THE FUCK is it with wingnuts and the penises of Democratic Presidents?

I mean, yeah, I know what the deal is, but what is the fucking deal already?

Do they all need to take a shower with James Dobson or something?

 
 

Do they all need to take a shower with James Dobson or something?

And to watch him beat his wiener… dog.

 
 

Godammit, I swear I am not going to be able to get through this presidency without beating the long form outta some wingnut. And then I’ll be in jail. Wait, they have healthcare there, don’t they?

PENIS!

 
 

2. Obama needs to reprimand Maxine Waters for calling some Republican senators opposing the public option “Neanderthals.”

Health care reform…So easy, even a cave man could do it.

 
 

Lou Dobbs says the matter would be behind us if Obama would only release his (original) penis.

 
 

stogoe,

It was the WOTD because Obama had said it then the WH press corpse had to ask Gibbs what it means.

Correct my quotes, Gibbs!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Now, being a pedant with an anthropological bent, if BHO (pbuh) wants to Kenyize the country and make it all blackity-black-black, he might not want to force circumcision like those evil Kikuyu nitwits would:

This section also applies in large part to other Kenyan societies, with the notable exception of the Luo and Turkana, who are alone among Kenya’s main forty-odd tribes not to practice circumcision.

 
 

…and not some fake penis certificate that was actually Rush Limbaugh Xeroxing his own dick, then using a Magic Marker to darken, lengthen, circumcise, then add a Hitler mustache to it.

 
 

Being a good liberal, I see a conspiracy in everything. So here’s my take on this. The birthers will claim that if Obama exposes his penis it will settle the whole birth question. However, as soon as he exposes his penis they wil point to the Clenis precedent and demand impeachment. Very clever, I think they’ve got him this time. No way out.

 
 

This must be where Freepers do there research. Sshh, don’t nobody tell them it is a spoof site.

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i56775

waZula-Natal, South Africa –

A reporter for the Spoof.com did manage to stumble on what could be a lead story for Black People Magazine, when George Obama, a diluted brother to current US President for Life, Baramundy Obama Zulu, was found standing in line to get circumcised.

“I really felt I needed to make a statement by doing this,”said George, “most of us Zulus don’t believe in getting circumcised, and as a result our infection rate is the highest in all of Africa, approaching 39%…..or almost as high as in your nation’s capital of Washington, DC!”

When asked if he knew whether his more famous brother had had the operation anytime in the past, George was vague.

“I really don’t think so, ” said George,” but I’m sure if he went public with the fact that he was going to Walter Reed Hospital in Washington to get Circumcised it would do a great deal to help cut down AIDS in his new home town.”

“On the other hand, ” George continued, “I do remember he was just like his father, very proud to show off his meat at the drop of a hat, or a political dialogue. If I were you, if he says he’s circumcised, I’d DEMAND to see the certification….I think the tribal chief keeps them on record since alot of times they do it right at birth, especially if the newborn is only half black.”

George seemed perplexed when told by the reporter that no one was quite sure where his brother had been born, a fact that has been causing a belated Constitutional Firestorm.

“Shit man, everyone over here knows the real story; the little bastard was dropped right in a goat pen in Kenya where his old man was working 30 hours a week herding goats, while his mom was finishing up her PHD on Community Activism and working as a Wal Mart Greeter.”

 
 

There is no reason to insert a penis into the birthers

 
 

Really, though, haven’t we all panicked over a boner now and then?

Or lack thereof.

 
 

Or lack thereof.

You can practically see Obama’s boner from my house!

 
 

The birthers can see my penis anytime they want. In fact, given half-a-chance I will wave it at them while I call them names.

I bet Obama wishes he could do the same.

 
 

OK are we done yet? From Birfers to Deathers to Schlongers, the wingnuttia obsessing over Obama has made fools of themselves OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER.

When is our MSM going to start ALL wingnut-centric pieces with the following:

“Adolescent penis-obsessed ass-clowns (a.k.a. the modern Republican Party) once again staged a jackass silly protest outside an Obama event. None of the protestors were actually deemed of voting age due to their infantile behavior, and were left to throw their kicking and screaming shitfits on the ground outside the event.”

Who the HELL is taking these boneheads seriously, and why do THEY still have a job?

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

I give this thread a 10/10 for PENIS content. “Peter” Kirsanow ought to be proud to have birthered such a wee-weed up thread.

 
 

I bet Obama wishes he could do the same.

I’ll bet he does! Sometimes I wonder what he and Michelle say to each other as they watch the evening news.

Michelle: Would you run for President again if you knew so many Amurkins were this freakin’ crazy?

Pres: I dunno, Michelle. I just dunno.

 
 

Schlong? I read that as “sarong.” Never mind.

 
 

This thread started as a nice, innocent discussion about summer vacations on Cape Cod and you kids have to ruin it with all this penis talk.

 
Not Looch who has way too much time on his hands these days
 

The National Weather Service’s Tsunami Warning Center has issued the following alert:

.. A REGIONAL TSUNAMI OF STUPID WATCH IS IN EFFECT …

A TSUNAMI OF STUPID WATCH IS IN EFFECT FOR NORTH AMERICA INCLUDING CANADA/ AS WELL AS ALL CIVILIZED, INTELLIGENT ENCLAVES

A CLASS-FIVE STUPIDITY WAVE, WITH ITS EPICENTER ON THE PRESIDENT’S PENIS, HAS BEEN NOTED BY OUTLYING REPORTING STATIONS AND PERMANENT REPORTING BUOYS.

THIS BULLETIN IS ISSUED AS ADVICE TO GOVERNMENT AGENCIES AND AFFECTED CITIZENRY. CITIZENS ARE ASKED TO MAINTAIN DUE DILIGENCE IF THEY NOTICE LARGE-SCALE STUPIDITY OUTBREAKS AND IMMEDIATELY REPORT SUCH OUTBREAKS TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES OR TO COMMUNICATE SUCH OUTBREAKS AND MOCK THEM ON APPROPRIATE SITES ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB.

ESTIMATED INITIAL TSUNAMI WAVE OF STUPID ARRIVAL TIMES AT FORECAST POINTS WITHIN THE WARNING AND WATCH AREAS ARE GIVEN BELOW. ACTUAL ARRIVAL TIMES MAY DIFFER AND THE INITIAL WAVE MAY NOT BE THE LARGEST. A TSUNAMI IS A SERIES OF WAVES AND THE TIME BETWEEN SUCCESSIVE WAVES CAN BE FIVE MINUTES TO ONE HOUR WITH EACH WAVE STUPIDER THAN THE LAST.

THE JAPAN METEOROLOGICAL AGENCY MAY ISSUE ADDITIONAL INFORMATION FOR THIS EVENT. IN THE CASE OF CONFLICTING INFORMATION…THE HIGHEST LEVELS OF STUPIDITY SHOULD BE ASSUMED UNTIL THIS WARNING IS LIFTED.

 
Sister Woman Goodie
 

If he doesn’t burn that means he’s a witch!!!

 
 

discussion about summer vacations on Cape Cod
I thought penises belonged in a Cod-piece.

 
 

I’ll bet he does! Sometimes I wonder what he and Michelle say to each other as they watch the evening news.

Michelle: Would you run for President again if you knew so many Amurkins were this freakin’ crazy?

Pres: I dunno, Michelle. I just dunno.

I kind of picture him mouthing this routine while he watches their wrinkled fat old honky mouths wobble, empty and inviting.

 
 

If he doesn’t burn that means he’s a witch!!!

Maybe he’s too moist.

 
 

discussion about summer vacations on Cape Cod
I thought penises belonged in a Cod-piece.

He’s put it in Martha’s Vineyard now. And just wait til he comes from Nantucket…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

This thread started as a nice, innocent discussion about summer vacations on Cape Cod and you kids have to ruin it with all this penis talk.

I hope this comment is tongue in pants cheek. If not, are you familiar with the socio-geography of Cape Cod?

 
 

So, “OBAMA IS A MUSLIN!!!!”

But: “OBAMA ISN’T CIRCUMCISED!!!!”

What would a sane person find wrong with this picture?

Hey wingnuts! Could it be that Barack senior, whose father was a Muslim, specifically requested that Barack junior not be circumcised just to indicate that he was not a Muslim? Too logical? Heads all asplodey?

 
 

When you see it, you’ll shit bricks.

Wales looks like it could use some sildenafil.

 
 

I hope this comment is tongue in cheek

Veiled RIMJOB reference.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

“Trying again” was me. FYUTAWACSWP!

 
 

Freepers obsessing over a black man’s penis. That’s like the exact opposite of gay. I bet the only evidence that will satisfy them is if they each get to touch the vault copy with their own bare hands.

They’ll try to massage the fonts.

 
 

Could it be that Barack senior

It was all part of the plan……

 
 

This thread started as a nice, innocent discussion about summer vacations on Cape Cod and you kids have to ruin it with all this penis talk.

You ever get a good look at the shape of the Cape?

PENIS!

 
 

There is no reason to insert a penis into the birthers

Sure there is! Preferably one from a cellmate named Bruno…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

The motion in the ocean is determined by the shape of the cape.

Did the rightards obsess over Carter’s penis back in the 70s?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

You ever get a good look at the shape of the Cape?
PENIS!

One glans at a map would convince you of this.

 
 

One glans at a map would convince you of this.

There’s a vas deferens between a map and a picture.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

I’m trying to testes ideas of yours, but I’m still not getting the Uretha! moment.

 
 

you kids have to ruin it with all this penis talk

Hey, don’t look at us – the wingnuts started it.

They’ve evidently just been waiting for another Democratic President so they could check out his equipment.

See, THAT’S why Hillary couldn’t be President!

 
 

I’m trying to testes ideas of yours, but I’m still not getting the Uretha! moment.

Low blows.

 
 

Did the rightards obsess over Carter’s penis back in the 70s?

No, they had the rabbit attack to point to push for building Star Wars Missile Defense(tm).

 
 

“There’s a vas deferens between a map and a picture.”

WIN!

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Low blows.
Veiled teabagging reference?

 
 

They’ve evidently just been waiting for another Democratic President so they could check out his equipment.

The striking thing is that it’s not so much a gay thing as a really creepy straight thing. Kind of frat-boyish. They’re mainly into poorly-inspected holes in terms of fucking, but for some reason some primal force is urging them to reach out and fondle his Tiger Woods-assed balls.

The teabaggers clearly have Jungle Fever.

 
 

Did the rightards obsess over Carter’s penis back in the 70s?

That was before the repeal of the Fairness Doctrine. I could be snarky here, but in all seriousness, you had to at least act like you weren’t a hulking, snorting shaved ape when you went on TV to talk back then. I remember it. Because I turned out of TV for a few years (one of those years being 1987) and when I came back to it in 1992 or so it had changed from the dour almost PBS format that news and commentary used to have to the carnival freakshow we see today.

None of which answers your question: back then I think the GOP leadership were more civilized. I’m sure the rank file of the GOP thought and said anything and everything about Carter, lies and idiocy all jammed together. They just didn’t have a national platform for their asshattery.

 
 

There’s a vas deferens between a map and a picture

I prostate myself before your wisdom.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

you had to at least act like you weren’t a hulking, snorting shaved ape

Hey, now!

 
 

you had to at least act like you weren’t a hulking, snorting shaved ape

Now, stop talking about Ann Coulter that way.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I prostate myself before your wisdom.

Eh, P. Diddy mus’ have made a similar joke on one of his albums.

Yeah, that’s stretching it, but I can be a jerk sometimes.

 
 

Speaking of the Fairness Doctrine, this thread need some balance so I give you . . .

 
 

Did the rightards obsess over Carter’s penis back in the 70s?

Agreed with Slippy. Back in that more civilized, genteel decade, attacks had to be more artfully veiled. In Carter’s case, they kept referring to him as “The Peanut Farmer” (as though being a farmer was somehow ridiculous), rather than the “One of the original architects of the modern nuclear Navy”. Growing peanuts sounded frivolous and a bit dorky, so they kept pounding that home, and Carter was too much of a gentleman to point out that his relevant experience was more modern, more technical, and a bit more…manly,

 
 

Am I wrong to imagine that as Fall lyrics?

 
 

Low blows.
Veiled teabagging reference?

An allusion to Balzac, I believe.

 
 

Yeah, that’s stretching it
FORESKIN RESTORATION REFERENCE!

 
For The Goddamn Batman, Every Day Is A Vacation--A Vacation Of PAIN
 

Crazystache McOreo probably thinks that W’s extended vacations don’t count because he spent a few minutes cutting brush for the cameras.

Also, gocart mozart, that’s old news–I read about those in an old OB/GYN textbook that my aunt had in her basement. I didn’t even know about that book until one day when she was teasing me about the facts of life and I told her what I’d read in an encyclopedia about the sperm and egg, and she accused me of reading her book and told me not to, so you know what I did at the next available opportunity. I ended up missing any references to the old in-out in-out because of the section on maternal and fetal abnormalities. Anencephaly! Supernumerary nipples! And, of course, the aforementioned duo-vajayjay. I should have been utterly traumatized, but as someone who was raised on Star Trek, I was oddly reassured that They Walk Among Us.*

*except for the ones born with flippers and such.

 
 

Threads like this are the jewels of liberal fascism.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Veiled peanut reference

 
 

Bringing back an oldie

Rusty Shackleford said,

February 16, 2009 at 2:03

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who oiled the machinery of capitalism with the blood of the workers
Along came Obama
And a whole bunch of drama
Porkulus whitey tape Muslim oh fuck it

 
 

Threads like this are the jewels of liberal fascism.

I saw what you did there.

 
 

Veiled peanut reference
From what I have seen of Moche ceramics, they did not veil anything.

 
 

From Birfers to Deathers to Schlongers

“Schlongers”. Bwahahahaha. From your lips to the intarweb’s ears, slippy. That is awesome.

By Shakira’s Ass, so mote it be.

 
Boneless Meatloaf
 

Is it the Obamis or the Barackis? Or nay, even the Husseinis?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

The Moche were the Jews of Chimú fascism!

 
 

For foreskin overreach,
we must impeach!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

“Schlongers”. Bwahahahaha. From your lips to the intarweb’s ears, slippy. That is awesome.

Who will emerge as the Oily Taint of the Schlongers?

 
 

Dock ’em, Bono!

 
 

The theme of the Schlongers: Teh First Cut is the Deepest.

Bringing back an oldie

Rusty Shackleford said,

February 16, 2009 at 2:03

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who oiled the machinery of capitalism with the blood of the workers
Along came Obama
And a whole bunch of drama
Porkulus whitey tape Muslim oh fuck it

Now that could almost make me believe in divine inspiration.

 
 

I need to nominate a new wingnut to monitor, if you’re not already. Dr. Donald May, a.k.a, “Mr. Conservative” from Lubbock, Texas. One of his latest posts is just too wonderful to ignore. He has done us the favor of compling all the Evil in the world that “secularists” are responsible for since 1945. Enjoy:
http://blogs.lubbockonline.com/conservative/2009/08/22/one-nation-under-god-part-11/

 
 

Steve McGarrett said,
August 24, 2009 at 23:17
Dock ‘em, Bono!

You’re not suggesting BO’s a Hawaii 5.0″?!

 
Not Looch who has way too much time on his hands these days
 

It was a brand new line of attack,
From people so tediously whack,
The logic was thin,
It was all about skin,
And could Barry perchance, pull it back.

 
James K. Polk, Esq.
 

As a proud owner of a veiled PENIS, it warms my heart to know Blacky Hussein is uncut.

 
 

And don’t let Obama show you just any penis. We need to see the long form.

 
 

I think we really need to push this.

Imagine how much more respectable the teabaggers’ll look if we can get them holding up signs like “THEY CAN HAVE MY FORESKIN WHEN THEY PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS” or some such.

 
 

And don’t let Obama show you just any penis. We need to see the long form.
Can’t we all just get a long?

 
Death Rusty Shackleford
 

You fuck with the penis you have, not the penis you wish you had

 
 

Dock ‘em, Bono!

Or, after editing by SadlyNo!, “Dick’em Bini!”

 
Not Looch who has way too much time on his hands these days
 

Can’t we all just get a schlong?
Fizxed

 
Not Looch who has way too much time on his hands these days
 

“Veiled?”

No, here in the oft-chilly Commonwealth of Massholes we think of ourselves as “winterized.”

 
Death Rusty Shackleford
 

This thread has more triggers than an Obama town hall.

 
 

Some say George Bush doesn’t have opposable thumbs. He could just end the controversy by showing us his thumbs. What is he hiding?

 
 

“Dick’em Bini!”
Worst fancy non-Martini evah.

 
 

A posable thumb? What?

 
 

Just got home. What’s up?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
nevermind

 
 

“I need to nominate a new wingnut to monitor, if you’re not already. Dr. Donald May, a.k.a, “Mr. Conservative” from Lubbock, Texas.”

Hey, no fair nominating craaaazies from Lubbock…they’ve got a huge advantage in numbers there. Like pitting Sierra Leone against China or something.

 
 

Did the rightards obsess over Carter’s penis back in the 70s?

No, they obsessed over the interview with Playboy, where he stated he had looked at a woman not his wife with “lust in his heart”, which according to Jesus, is itself the same as adultery.

http://www.arts.mcgill.ca/history/faculty/TROYWEB/Courseweb/JimmyCarterThePlayboyInterview.htm

He also said, “…screws another woman…”

 
 

This thread has more triggers than an Obama town hall.
You should know better than to mention “hair triggers” in front of BBBB.

 
 

I can’t believe that someone, in this era, would willingly subject themselves to such a mustache.

On the other hand, it’s probably enough to qualify the guy for wingnut welfare.

 
 

First there was the Clenis and now the O’Benis, Barakenis?

I think Oily Taint is the perfect choice to get to the bottom of this, also.

 
 

Really, though, haven’t we all panicked over a boner now and then?

Not personally, no.

>O’Benis, Barakenis?

You sound like VINCE! (You’ll love his nuts.)

 
mmm...lemonheads
 

kern1??/k?rn/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [kurn]
–noun 1. a part of the face of a type projecting beyond the body or shank, as in certain italic letters.

NOW it all comes together….if you will.

 
 

I cannot believe that you Sadlynaughts, of all people, could get through this entire thread without making the obvious connection: this is the beginning of the FORESKIN HOLOCAUST, which is the proof positive that Obama = Hitler, as if you needed EVEN MOAR evidence to prove it.

Sweet christ peoples, you’re just not trying.

 
 

If stupid has an event-horizon, surely this …

The birthers are now demanding to see Obama’s schlong.
… is it.

Those wingnuts – they just never tire of dicking around, do they?

Personally, I just don’t see this story having much national-market penetration – but I’d need to see the hard data to know for sure. Sure looks like a major cock-up to me. What a load of bollocks!

So, does Free Republic spit or swallow?

 
 

He must prove he’s not Hitler by showing us that he has two balls.

 
 

I’m trying to testes ideas of yours, but I’m still not getting the Uretha! moment.

Urine luck! I happen to have a vesicle aid for you…PENIS!

 
 

There’s a vas deferens between a map and a picture

I prostate myself before your wisdom.

Swine before pearls, in my book. 😉

 
 

So, to summarize:

If Obama is circumsized, that proves he was actually born in Kenya.
If Obama is not circumsized, that proves he was actually born in Kenya.

Have I got that right?

 
 

It does seem that the media were always juxtaposing national and international news with Bush’s vacations. To be fair to them, though, he did spend nearly a thousand days at either Camp David or the Petit hameau in Crawford. So basically, anything that happened had slightly less than a one in three chance of happening while Bush was on vacation (although for something really big, like Katrina, he might actually shorten his vacation in order to go play guitar for John McCain’s b-day or whatever the fuck)

 
 

(comments are closed)