Here we are now. Entertain us.

Hey! That’s our line.

Well, the stupidity of the white house press corpse is contagious.

I’m not so sure, Brad.

I think pandering to the lowest common denominator is going to be ultimately self-defeating.

The press is going to whine a bit, but if he maintains his approach, they can be weaned from the habit, I think.

Or other journos can be called on, ones who follow the policy lead. As you point out, they’re out there. And Obama knows who they are, I think. Calling on a questioner from HuffPo showed it; the Village Press reacted badly BECAUSE they were being shown up, and know it. even those self-absorbed assholes can be expected to start doing their jobs, even if poorly, when they are mad to look foolish often enough.

right now, they’re just pushing back on being made to look foolish.

Piss on the WH press corps. You must always remember that the press is just about the most hated institution in the country. Obama was pitching directly to the American people, and he did fine.

I think pandering to the lowest common denominator is going to be ultimately self-defeating.

Yeah, it certainly can be. See McCain’s campaign of one goofy stunt after the next.

But there’s a balance to be had. You can make a smart case for your policy and STILL designate one line that’s guaranteed to be a headline grabber.

Yay! A new thread to poop all over!

Zombie, respectfully disagree. The more the press is made to look stupid, the stupider they’re gonna get. Trying to get them to play smarter is a waste of time.

Hey, whatever happened to David Corn, speaking of reasonably intellectual journalists? He signed with PJ Media and then *floomf* (thats the sound of a zombie fart, by the way), gone!

Anyway, Brad, his audience wasn’t the press corps. No president ever won a House or Senate vote talking to the corps.

His audience was the American working class, and maybe one or two Senators.

Funny you should give that title to this post.

actor — which would be fine, but a speech needs to not just work in the moment for the people watching it live, but the day after when people who didn’t see it turn on their TVs. That’s why you have to take into account how things play in the press.

Anyway, Brad, his audience wasn’t the press corps. No president ever won a House or Senate vote talking to the corps.

This is exactly right. Nobody outside of Washington cares what Dana Milbank or Politico thinks of this press conference (or anything). Let them have their little meta-discussions with themselves about nonsense like this – it affects nothing.

Names. We need the names of these alleged victims so that we can . . . investigate.

Karaoke in the White House Press Room! Guaranteed attendance.

Obama could then disguise actual policy in folksy anecdotes about fictional government lobbies.

“My friends,

I want to tell you a story today about a good and honest insurance lobby, Phiz-All Dinglebeetle, that wrote to me personally. My good buddy Phiz-All is genuinely scared of nationalized healthcare, because it has been hard hit by the economy. My heart goes out to my lobby amigo, but I want to reassure it, just as I do you all, that nationalized healthcare benefits all lobbies, not just the ones covered under our current system, and that the only lobbies we will tax will be the ones that earn over $1 million a year.

“Which is all of them. Suck it up. Thank you, and Good Night.”

I think he has to play it smart i.e. not get all folksy. Eventually enough will get it and teh internets will pick up on it to make it worthwhile.
I do not want folksy stories about Kenya!

a speech needs to not just work in the moment for the people watching it live, but the day after when people who didn’t see it turn on their TVs.

No doubt about that, Brad, but I’ve watched a lot of coverage in my day, and I’ve never seen a situation where they didn’t play a direct soundbyte first, before analyzing it.

True, if a Chuck Todd gets it wrong, it can be a miserable mess (and of course, Fox goes out of its way to get it wrong, but that’s not the constituency Obama’s addressing anyway), but the American people seem to be paying attention to this issue, and I think he can afford to talk directly to them.

Whatever else may be true, Team Obama (and teh Prez himself) aren’t exactly lacking in media savvy.

Obama’s goals for last night’s presser were two-fold: to reassure a skeptical public that the changes he’s proposing won’t coerce them into something they don’t want, and to set the record straight on a few points where misinformation has grown up in the absence of an actual bill. Both of those goals required him to dig into the mid-level details of a perniciously complex set of issues.

Of course, you’re right, most of the press (especially the TeeVee Newsers) would rather have their genitals eaten by zombies than to look beyond their cheap and easy “he said/she said” bullshit, but the public is already on his side regarding the need for reform so more inspirational rhetoric wouldn’t have moved the needle.

Its also worth remembering that a number of Big Time White House Journos were already butthurt about this particular presser because the WH stepped around them to announce it on Twitter directly.

It looks like Chuck Todd is a freshman at the Bill Kristol University of Smirking.

. You can make a smart case for your policy and STILL designate one line that’s guaranteed to be a headline grabber.

Well, that’s a point.

For instance, if he had mentioned zombies.

Obama should pass out some paddleballs just before the news conference. The press corps would spend at least a half-hour giggling and flailing madly at the rubber ball on the string, and afterwards, they’d declare it the most interesting press conference EVAR.

Wrong, wrong, WRONG!! Obama shouldn’t pander to the WH press corps. They’re idiots anyway. He should skip the middlemen and pander directly to ME. I want to hear nice anecdotes about me and things I care about. I want to know when he plans on getting that big pothole fixed out in the road next to my driveway. Then I want him to explain to me, directly, how he managed to fake the birth announcements in the local Hawaiian newspapers when he was still three days old and living in Kenya. A trick like that could come in handy some day.

Pardon my shallowtude, but does or does not Chip Reid make Lindsay Graham sound like a biological male? Don’t get me wrong; I’m all in favor of screaming queens covering the White House beat, but most of the screaming queens I know are a lot smarter than Micro Chip. Butch-er, too.

The thing that caused me to be assimiliated me into a mindless O-bot of O-borg was “A More Perfect Union”. Fucker looked at his numbers starting to slump and decided that he’d talk to the American people – as intelligent human beings. He gambled on them being able to understand nuance, and pooh-pooh-ed (h/t Erickson) the beltway conventional wisdom approach of Maximal Denunciation.

Audacity of Hope indeed, d00d thinks the American public ain’t a buncha mouth-breathing morans.

Well, anyways – I guess we’ll see how this plays out.

Also, question for kingubu about the genital eating zombies. Are they hot zombies?

If Obama went down the folksy route, he’d cop it for being “inauthentic”.

You betcha.

But if we are to play Obama-media-advisor-for-a-day, here’s how I’d have him kick off a presser:

I’m here to speak to the American people in terms that are meaningful to them. These terms might not be meaningful to you in the press corps, but these are my terms, and my words, and I trust that onn a topic as important as healthcare, the American people will be interested to here what I have to say.

Fuck the press corps, just say you intend to talk past them, and do that. Wrestling with Limbaugh and his press corps groupies is like the proverbial mudwrestle with a pig.

What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers journalists. These are people of the land District. The common clay of the new West old Media. You know… morons.

In dealing with the White House press corps Obama would probably do well to emulate a good kindergarten teacher. Speak slowly, use visual aids, repeat things often but in different ways, give them a time out or recess and let them have nap time, try to speak in one or two syllable words and so on.

Those morons might be able to make sense of his comments if he went in that direction. Then again, so might the majority of the American people. After all, it pretty much worked for Bush.

You don’t *have to* have fruit cup, kid. But I’d recommend it.

justme said,

July 23, 2009 at 17:59

*golf clap*

Well played, comrade, well played.

I think Obama should have told the TRUE story about when he was hit by a train and his legs were chopped off, and he woke up and was like all “Where’s the rest of me!!???” Remember that one? Then his legs grew back and he was a football player and he was going to win one for some guy named “The Gimp,” or “Gephart” remember?

The Prez needs to keep playing it exactly the way he has been, and the way he did during the campaign: speak to the press and the voters with all the intelligence, nuance and detail he needs to make his case intellectually, just as if he were speaking to educated adults. Those that are may actually be persuaded. Those that aren’t will eventually get tired of complaining that “he’s all wonky, usin’ them big words ‘n stuff!” and may even realize that these complaints actually make themselves look stoopit.

Then his legs grew back and he was a football player and he was going to win one for some guy named “The Gimp,” or “Gephart” remember?

How about the time he liberated a Nazi concentration camp, even though he hadn’t even been born when WWII happened?

The more the press is made to look stupid, the stupider they’re gonna get. Trying to get them to play smarter is a waste of time.

As a whole I see what you’re saying.

but more what I was getting at is the ability to call on the journos who ask good, tough questions. After all, it’s all about the face time. Why reward Chuckie Buckets for his smirking Russert-style gotcha questions? The reporters who act responsibly will be the ones who get the attention, and since they groove on the standing time, they will eventually learn the desired behavior.

Like training a puppy. An exceptionally STUPID puppy, admittedly.

Then his legs grew back and he was a football player and he was going to win one for some guy named “The Gimp”

Krauthammer’s leaving writing for football? And will win a game for himself? Awesome!

Pandering to the lowest common denominator, why not? It’s certainly worked to make television news a wonderful high-brow endeavor.

The fact that John McCain got almost half the people in the country to vote for him while pushing Sarah the folsky not-even-one-term Governor, not to mention Joe the not even one term plumber, doesn’t mean that Obama has to go that route at all, or meet them halfway toward that kind of populist PR stunt approach.

Another aspect of the “you go with what you have” idea is that you go what you are. Obama would look even stupider than McCain were he to twist himself into something he’s not and start those circus clown tricks.

And actually, he did use populism at the convention, with the parade of people, and it was genuine, and it worked. So there.

…you go what you are….

Like training a puppy. An exceptionally STUPID puppy, admittedly.

I know it’s not right, but damn, how cool would it be if, the next time one of them asked an utterly stupid, irrelevant, ideological “gotcha” question, he just came down from the lectern with a rolled up newspaper and thwapped him on the nose?

arrggggh. You go WITH what you are.

Sheesh.

I’m here to speak to the American people in terms that are meaningful to them.

That’s good, but if I were Obama’s press consultant, I’d tell him to BURN SOME SHIT DOWN.

With that, I’ll take your questions light you fuckers up like a roman candle. And we are going to start off with Ben Feller of Associated Press. Ben, stay still while the nice Secret Service agent drops some willie peter on your willie peter.

Hmmph. Sure, just leave me behind.

Are they hot zombies?

Who knows. One man’s meat is another man’s OH MY GOD ITS A FUCKING ZOMBIE!

Oh, so now we are insulting puppies, are we? How predictable.

Snobby Anti-Canine Elitists…

well, it’s a damn sight better than when Dick Cheney was EATING puppies…

Zombie, respectfully disagree. The more the press is made to look stupid, the stupider they’re gonna get. Trying to get them to play smarter is a waste of time.

I disagree with this entirely. I actually think that the press is now visibly concerned about looking stupid in front of people by being teased or having the question belittled by Obama. I’ve seen it happen a number of times, and the look on their faces when they try to challenge him displays a fear of being made to look foolish. For good reason.

For eight years it’s been utterly out of the question that they would come across as more stupid than the President, so it’s come as a kind of shock I think.

I don’t think I’m imagining it.

well, it’s a damn sight better than when Dick Cheney was EATING puppies…

Says the guy who wants your brains.

Hell, everyone wants my brains.

OT, but hey.

As long as the market for kidneys is up for discussion—

Speaking of Our Stupid Media, after a HUGE news conference on one of the most important policy proposals in years, something that will affect everyone in the country, in which there was one question about Dr. Gates, the Boston Globe headline: “Obama scolds Cambridge police” Unfuckingbelievable.

Things were much simplier when all we had to worry about was Obama’s choice of dog. Policy talk make head hurt ouchy.

However you slice it the presscorps and their lazy-in-the-tank-for-the-top-1% is definitely part of the problem. Over at the GOS they’ve got some depressing stats (mostly in easy to digest graph form–for zombies!) on how stacked against healthcare reform the reporting has been.

So something has to be done to counteract the effect they can have, even if that isn’t dumbing the message down.

Presented without comment:

From Chuck Todd, Mark Murray, Domenico Montanaro, and Ali Weinberg
*** A snoozer conference: Last night’s primetime news conference, President Obama’s fourth since taking office, was as much a dry health-care symposium as it was a give-and-take with reporters. Honest question: Is there a point when the president knows too much about an issue?

http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/07/23/2005548.aspx

well, it’s a damn sight better than when Dick Cheney was EATING puppies…

He didn’t want to eat those puppies, he HAD to eat those puppies. His doctors forced him to give up human newborns because of the cholesterol, so what choice did he have?

And on the CNN homepage right now the main story is about how Sarah Palin is still a rising political star.

I think I just threw up a little…

We are Sparta, you are Athens, WE DEFEAT YOU!

Officials say separate from the corruption probe, some of the suspects charged today were also connected to an illegal human organ-selling ring.

There’s only one human organ that should be associated with the word ring.

PENIS.

Boston Globe headline: “Obama scolds Cambridge police” Unfuckingbelievable.

Hand on heart, unfuckingbelievable? Really?

Way more unfuckingbelievable was that Obama spent so long on the Gates answer, simply because it is such obvious red meat to the media, a topic cut every which way from Sunday is guaranteed to grab headlines.

So yeah, much more than Brad’s not-enough-folksy critique, I thought the timing of the Gates monologue was pretty extraordinary from a media strategy viewpoint.

the Boston Globe headline: “Obama scolds Cambridge police”

ZOMG OBAMAHITLER HATES POLICE *!*!BREAKING!*!*!*!22 WANTS TO LET BALCK CRIMINALS RUN LOOSE

*sigh*

I’m sure this situation (Dr. Gates) has NOTHING to do with the racism being cheerfully flogged recently by wingnuts… nope. nothing at all…

The Cambridge cops demanded that Dr. Gates produce his long form driver’s license.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully expected it to be discussed in the paper, it should be, but below the damn fold at least.

If he had given names they would have ignored the rest of the speech and investigated those individuals. Then they would have found granite countertops or a rich uncle and it would be all ZOMG Obama LIEEEED!!! People don’t need health care!

Let them find their own damn anecdotes with names on them. They’re the “journalists”.

See, I told you libs, Obamanation is going down like a preacher’s wife on Sunday.

Also, penis.

(did I do it right?)

“Snoozer” “He knows too much about things”

Yes, I think we should definitely encourage President Obama to do the next press conference in conjunction with Industrial Light and Magic and get some cool special effects in there, not to mention a car chase, where was the car chase anyway? You can’t do a press conference about health care policy without a car chase for cryin out loud.

Maybe then the critics will give it a thumbs up and write a good review, I mean the last thing we want to do is put Chuck Todd to sleep because a policy speech was actually about policy, sheesh.

and STILL designate one line that’s guaranteed to be a headline grabber.

Yeah, apparently it was “the Cambridge Police acted stupidly”. Remember way back when people were wondering what Stewart/Colbert were going to do with a Democrat in office? Same thing day in and day out, make fun of the useless press corps.

It would also help if he blew something up, with a huge fireball.

I’m sorry, I think the whole thing was a bit ill advised, mostly because it’s obvious what’s going on with health care so why give the presser at all? I think he should have set up a national town hall meeting of some kind, and talked directly to the people.

I mean, basically he said all he could say last night, which, in a nutshell, is as follows:

“Our healthcare system sucks, here are some examples of people it hurt, politics are a bitch, but hopefully we’ll get a better system in place before too many more people die for no reason. My opposition says, and I quote, “Gorbachov sings buttocks! Turnips! Tractors!”, and then they went on about taxes like they always do, but there’s no way to even address that nonsense logically so I’ll just point out that they are part of the problem and not part of the solution, like always, so here we are. Oh, and black people shouldn’t be arrested in their own homes just because they are black. Thanks for coming.

Which didn’t really illuminate or help anything along, and gives Wingnuttia grist for the “Obama is Carter” mill. Which is a meme that only plays on their side anyway, so…what was my point? Basicly zero-sum, I think, when all is said and done. No great strides forward, but no steps backward either.

Oh, and I liked Ed Schultz’s suit, it made him look like a velveteen teddy bear.

Look for Willie Gates Horton in the next Presidential election.

Ominous music….

“Obama wants to let black blackity black men into their own houses… in YOUR neighborhood!”

I particularly like that “honest kweschun”* bit.

*for a definition of “like” that means “makes me wanna puke”.

I mean, basically he said all he could say last night, which, in a nutshell, is as follows:

I liked your post but it didn’t have enough car chases.

mostly because it’s obvious what’s going on with health care so why give the presser at all?

Because a large fraction of the population and nearly 100% of the press corps have no idea how to recognize what’s obvious.

The trouble with stupid anecdotes, and one liners, or anything designed to fit in a newspaper headline.. Is that your actual argument gets lost and forgotten about. The talking heads act as if that one line was all you said.

How do you boil the healthcare issue down to something that fits on a bumper sticker? It isn’t easy.. But the best part of it is that our opponents have an even more complicated argument to make. They are even less likely to be able to come up with a popular slogan.

If Obama wanted to turn this into a war of talking points and slogans, then I’m pretty sure he could win. “healthcare is a human right” sounds better than “no it’s not you communist”

But does he have to? Does he want to? The public is pretty firmly behind some kind of reform, and the big question is not if some reforms will be passed, but whether those reforms are going to be bold enough, or compromised down to nothing.

I think that Obama gave an intelligent speech because THAT IS WHAT HE DOES. He has so far managed to be both a populist and a smartypants, and I like that.

The last 2 years suggest that Obama knows what he is doing. The last 8 years suggest the press don’t have a fucking clue what they are doing.

Hello.

My opposition says, and I quote, “Gorbachov sings buttocks! Turnips! Tractors!”

Well-played also too.

I think he should have set up a national town hall meeting of some kind, and talked directly to the people.

This reminded me of this

I liked your post but it didn’t have enough car chases.

I mean, basically he said all he could say last night, which, in a nutshell, is as follows:

“Our healthcare system sucks, here are some examples of people it hurt, politics are a bitch, but hopefully we’ll get a better system in place before too many more people die for no reason. My opposition says, and I quote, “Gorbachov sings buttocks! Turnips! Tractors!”, and then they went on about taxes like they always do, AND THE DUKE BOYS FLOORED IT AND SLAMMED INTO THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM IN THE GENERAL LEE FOLLOWED SHORTLY THEREAFTER BY ROSCO P. COLTRANE AND THE REST OF THE HAZZARD COUNTY SHERIFF DEPARTMENT, then they went on about taxes like they usually do…”

Fixed.

But you can only make the press more responsible by degrees. It’s not like they’re going to just go “Oh hey! I should drop the stupid and be more like Edward R Murrow!” Not gonna happen. The reason is that they didn’t get where they are by being the best professional journalist they could be. They got where they are by being the best at what their job requires them to be. You don’t get to be a reporter at the national level by being a great investigative reporter, that ENDS your career.

The “Obama is Carter” meme is going to be hard to pull off. The economy was already completely in the tank when Hussein X took the reins, and it’s already showing signs of rebounding a bit. The Dow is over 9,000, home sales are up, unemployment rolls are down and few of us are in soup kitchen lines. The bulk of the stimulus hasn’t been enacted yet, and that will help goose the economy a bit over the next couple of years.

Now, a lot of this is sheer luck and timing, no question about it. I’m a flaming lefty and I was hoping for a bigger stimulus and a single-payer health care system, but I’ll take competent moderate incrementalism over incompetent wingnut radicalism any day. If Obama successfully navigates his first term and gets the economy on track, he’ll have insane political capital in his second term to give us lefties some of the stuff we want. Sort of like Clinton in reverse. Yes we can?

Which didn’t really illuminate or help anything along,

See, now here I disagree. The press corpse and rightwing have been flogging a couple of misinformation items, and this was a direct responsive pushback to cut those short. You could see the goobers trying to push the “Rationing” and “we can’t afford it” frames, and I thought Obama did a great job in not just swatting those down, but refusing to even buy the frame.

So, maybe not directly ‘moving things forward’ in the strictest sense, but in the sense of keeping the oppo from dictating terms, it worked. which is part of the “moving along” process.

I fully support, however, whapping Chuckie Buckets on the nose with a paper.

Obama was not at his best last night, you have to admit. More than once he blamed the previous administration, or said that bailouts began under Bush, or that he inherited massive deficits. We wanted to hear policy, but it was clouded by Barry’s lame excuses.

H’s getting toasted. He might even be doomed.

It’s not like they’re going to just go “Oh hey! I should drop the stupid and be more like Edward R Murrow!” Not gonna happen.

You make a good argument but I’m not persuaded because I wasn’t entertained.

More seriously, sure, but I don’t think the question raised in the post was whether anyone should try to train these people to become better journalists, but rather whether Obama should pander to the show-biz approach that demands gimmicks and treats a policy press conference as if it’s a blockbuster movie that gets judged on whether someone was “bored”.

Put a different way, I think Obama should be Obama and these idiots should be who they are.

More than once he blamed the previous administration, or said that bailouts began under Bush, or that he inherited massive deficits. We wanted to hear policy, but it was clouded by Barry’s lame excuses.

Yeah, he should just give Bush a fucking mulligan, like everyone else did for eight goddamn years. *pppppppbbbbbbblllllttt!!!!!!!*

My opposition says, and I quote, “Gorbachov sings buttocks! Turnips! Tractors!”

I’m a Boinger.

We are all Boingers now.

I might be coming to the party a bit late, but I just have to say that it didn’t matter how Obama presented his argument; our idiot press corp was going to tear it apart. They’re still smarting for being shown as sycophants and lickspittles for the Bushes.

Shit.

I know shit’s bad right now, wid’all that starvin’ bullshit. And the duststorms. And we runnin’ out of french fries and burrito coverin’s.
But I got a solution.
(Shoots gun in air.) That’s what I THOUGHT!
Now I understand everyone’s shit’s emotional right now, but listen up.
I got a three point plan to fix everything.
(Applause.)
Number one: we got this guy Not Sure.
Number two: he’s got a higher IQ than any man alive!
And number three: he’s gonna fix everything.
He’s gonna fix all the problems with the dead crops; he’s gonna make them grow again.
And that ain’t all.
(Singing.) I give you my word: he’s gonna fix the dust storms too!
I give you my word: he’s gonna fiiiiiiiix, the ecomony!
And he’s so smart, he’s gonna do it all in one week!

Ich bin ein Boeingerer!

H’s getting toasted. He might even be doomed.

I can haz kunsern troll?

Also, penis.

(did I do it right?)

We won’t say aything about your small penis.

Which brings to mind that Obama could have done a much better job if he had thrown some PENIS around. But somewhat less seriously, I do believe that the plurality, if not majority of people who pay any attention to such things want to hear actual, like, facts and policy and shit from the President. The press corpse* is not happy with the way Obama makes them work for it. The live media MSM are headed for the same fate as the print media but they don’t know it.

*obligatory zombie reference

Hell, everyone wants my brains.

That’s bro-code for breasts, Jen.

I’ve always liked doomed kippers on toasted Obama.

The live media MSM are headed for the same fate as the print media but they don’t know it.

Lining the bottom of birdcages?

I’ve always liked doomed kippers on toasted Obama.

With spicy French mustard.

Doomed kippers,
Wider than a mile;
I’m toasting you in style
Some day….

If the press wants fucking anecdotes, they can go to any small business or unemployment office and find some hapless peon who is afraid to go to the hospital even though his medical condition is worsening, simply because he’s afraid to be doomed to the limbo of “pre-existing condition” status. If the press wanted to suss out the horrors of socialized healthcare, they can go to socialist hellholes like Canuckistan or the Union of Swedish Socialist Republics.

If Obama went all folksy, or played to emotions, he’d be accused of being too irrational, too blackity-black-black. Hell, the press didn’t rake Lindsey Graham over the coals for whiningly insinuating that the cool-headed Sonia Sotomayor would have a “meltdown” because she’s one of them hot-headed, overly emotional minority-types.

Yeah, BHO is running circles around them and they are resentful because they may have to actually earn their paychecks.

GODDAMN IT
I saw this and thought it was about Erin Grey.

I like MY version much better.

If the press wants fucking anecdotes,

…they can download “SiCKO”.

I think if I were about to eat kippers that weren’t doomed I’d be very nervous.

I think if I were about to eat kippers that weren’t doomed I’d be very nervous.

Band Name: Viable Kippers

Vaya-ble kippers, my darling…
Vaya-ble kippers, my love.

H’s getting toasted.

I thought he stopped doing pot?

*obligatory zombie reference

Oh,hey, don’t feel OBLIGED, dude…

…they can download “SiCKO”.

As much as I love that fattie’s movies, I’d rather go to the pub and chat up the barmaid.

I understand why a horse, why a chicken, fine, but viakipper?

I understand why a horse, why a chicken, fine, but viakipper?

Because it’s too cultivate.

I’d rather go to the pub and chat up the barmaid.

I prefer to chat up the open transom.

I’d rather go to the pub and chat up the barmaid.

I prefer to chat up the open transom.

How can you tell the difference?

Oh. Right. The transom is more open.

…they can download “SiCKO”.

Huh. So you’re positing a construction something like this:

subject[the presscorps]–verb phrase[can download]–object[SICKO]

Yeah, there’s your problem. The presscorps can’t be in the subject slot–they only do passive constructions:

subject[GOP talking points]–verb phrase[were repeated]–object[by the presscorps]

Any other country in the world would treat the heroes of 9/11 at Guantanamo, but try to take them there on an outboard motor and everyone acts like you’re crazy!

SHAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!

…they can download “SiCKO”.

OK, rephrase:

subject[We] -verb phrase [can give] – indirect object [the press corps] – direct object [copies of SiCKO]

better?

Sure enough, the first wingnut “OBAMA ATTACKS COPS!” is up

…they can download “SiCKO”.

I can imagine the response of the typical WHPC stenographer would be:

“MOAR FUNNY!!!! MOAR BOOBIES!!!! MOAR ‘SPLOSIONS!!!!”

Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back before morning.

That’s bro-code for breasts, Jen.

Well, they’re nice too. But what I really meant is, everyone wants my (actual) brains.

Don’t bogart that fish!

Well, they’re nice too. But what I really meant is, everyone wants my (actual) brains.

Oh? Are they that rare that you can snag a good price on the open market?

JUST KIDDING!!!!! 🙂

Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back before morning breakfast.

But well done, either way.

Oh? Are they that rare that you can snag a good price on the open market?

Yes, and no, unfortunately. America doesn’t really value brains all that much these days.

Ugh… Kristol…

Maybe it was Professor Gates who behaved stupidly, or at least arrogantly. He is, after all, a Harvard professor.

Yeah, how dare that uppity Negro expect the benefit of the doubt from the cops and demand respect in his own damn house!

Next up, Kristol defends the Milwaukee cops who let Jeff Dahmer off the hook, and forced his 14-year-old Laotian victim to return to his apartment.

What now, the Obama drones just think that black professors are magically immune from having cops come into their own homes?

Everyone knows it’s illegal and punishable by arrest or permanent detention for a black dude to ask for a cop’s name and badge number.

I think he should have set up a national town hall meeting of some kind, and talked directly to the people.

Apparently he’s following up the presser with local town halls. IMO, both formats suck. The press corps asks inane questions about politics when policy is being discussed and plays “gotcha” because they each think that means Robert Redford will play them in the movie of their life. And the town halls, you have a choice between a screened audience with less life than a botoxed eyelid or a non-screened audience demanding notarized statements from the nurses in O’s delivery room.

But my free (celebratory) yeast POOP and cow’s ass lunch was damned fine.

But what I really meant is, everyone wants my (actual) brains.

Post a link to the Maxim spread where you’re wearing a one-lobekini.

That’s bro-code for breasts, Jen.
Well, they’re nice too. But what I really meant is, everyone wants my (actual) brains.
Yes, and no, unfortunately. America doesn’t really value brains all that much these days.

but breasts? Yeah, bay-bee!!!! You’d think we were all prematurely weaned.

If Kristol says it was Gates’s fault, we know the cop is 100% to blame. MAYBE MORE.

Everyone knows it’s illegal and punishable by arrest or permanent detention for a black dude to ask for a cop’s name and badge number.

That shows arrogance and a hatred of authority. The arrogance – treating a police officer like he’s accountable to the public or something!

Your daily PENIS.

but breasts? Yeah, bay-bee!!!! You’d think we were all prematurely weaned.

As I said to my mother, if they had taken the money they spent on sending me to college and just bought me some fake tits with it, I’d probably be wealthy now.

Harry Potter and the Smoked Kipper of Doom.

You’d think we were all prematurely weaned.

The way I keep trying to crawl back up, you’d think I was prematurely born

Post a link to the Maxim spread where you’re wearing a one-lobekini.

There’s nothing sexier than a brain-thong. Mmm, string-separated hemispheres. Then the damn thing goes right up your longitudinal fissure and you have to pick it off your corpus callosum.

if they had taken the money they spent on sending me to college and just bought me some fake tits with it, I’d probably be wealthy now.

But see, men’s fascination with large breasts is at least understandable.

After all, no matter how small Mom was, the tit was bigger than our heads and fed us as newborns.

Who the hell WOULDN’T want that around?

Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back before morning for breakfast.

Fized. Hard to get these new incarnations trained up.

There’s nothing sexier than a brain-thong. Mmm, string-separated hemispheres. Then the damn thing goes right up your longitudinal fissure and you have to pick it off your corpus callosum.

Keep that up and ZRM will have to excuse himself for twenty minutes.

Then the damn thing goes right up your longitudinal fissure and you have to pick it off your corpus callosum.

I had a corpus callosostomy and now I have to think into a bag.

I had a corpus callosostomy and now I have to think into a bag.

LOL

Major LOL.

Everyone knows it’s illegal and punishable by arrest or permanent detention for a black dude to ask for a cop’s name and badge number.

My brother was handcuffed, kicked a few times, pepper sprayed in the face, and charged with “assaulting an officer” for using the phrase “Constitutional rights” in front of a police officer. This in front of witnesses.

I think that it is very likely that race was a factor, especially considering that it is Cambridge, but another way of looking at it is, cops are thugs.

But my free (celebratory) yeast POOP and cow’s ass lunch was damned fine.

Did it include the curdled secretions of bovine glands and a sauce made from the crushed ovaries of a Solanaceaous plant?

I had a corpus callosostomy and now I have to think into a bag.

Okay that wins this thread. With that, I’m off. To sleep, perchance to lift and separate.

subject[We] -verb phrase [can give] – indirect object [the press corps] – direct object [copies of SiCKO]

better?

As long as someone is doing most of the work for them, it just might work.

Did it include the curdled secretions of bovine glands and a sauce made from the crushed ovaries of a Solanaceaous plant?

It’s like you were there.

I had a corpus callosostomy and now I have to think into a bag.

FTRatherdisgustingW

I had a corpus callosostomy and now I have to think into a bag.

snerk!

SNYG, we’re not worthy!

STROKE ME STROKE ME!
STRONK! GLRKZ!

After all, no matter how small Mom was, the tit was bigger than our heads and fed us as newborns.

Which explains the female obsession with huge breastesses how, exactly? I mean, I was nursed too. I don’t go around trying to peek down the Hooter’s girl’s shirt.

Address my Steno Pool, Libs!

I was nursed. *I* don’t drool at Hooters either. Not for anything, their food sucks and the tits don’t do anything for me. I got your back on this one, Jennifer.

I don’t think breast obsessions have anything to do with nursing. And I know gay men and straight women who are as obsessed with boobies as the horniest straight male.

I don’t go around trying to peek down the Hooter’s girl’s shirt.

Yea. Of course not. You never notice a woman’s breasts nor did you post that you could have brought fake boobs and struck it rich 😉

St. Rodney:

There are breast men, there are leg men. I’m an ass man. I know this because when people yell at me “You’re an ass man.”

Ignore the “when” also.

Which explains the female obsession with huge breastesses how, exactly?

You ask a very difficult question to answer because once we hear the words “huge breastesses”…. Something about titties, right?

BOOBIES.

It’s like you were there.

If you were in a bar, it’s likely I was.

Some of us try to think outside the bag.

If you were in a bar, it’s likely I was.

The back room at Angelo & Maxies. Not my choice, but I wasn’t paying.

The back room was formerly the cigar room – there’s a big “No Smoking” sign next to the brass-plaqued personal humidors.

actor – some of them precede their owners by a fair stretch…so yes, disproportionately large boobies don’t miss anyone’s attention, I don’t think. The difference is, initially noticing them doesn’t distract my attention from there on out.

The back room was formerly the cigar room – there’s a big “No Smoking” sign next to the brass-plaqued personal humidors.

Even though I am a business-hating, nanny-stating librul (and a non-smoker, except for one or two stogies a year which I regret for days), I feel sorry for the poor bastards who shelled out a lot of simoleons on ventilation systems before the smoking ban.

Some of us try to think outside the bag.

This just goes to show that “win” is contagious.

I was nursed. *I* don’t drool at Hooters either.

Hang on. On the one hand, Jennifer is inferring that America doesn’t value brains ahead of breasts, but nowhere does she (or I, for that matter) claim a 100% correlation between boobies, men, and nursing.

As with all things behavior and/or genetic, there’s always room for difference.

some of them precede their owners by a fair stretch

New Video Game Technology Finally Allows Rendering Of Smaller Breasts

There’s only one human organ that should be associated with the word ring.
PENIS.

WRONG. There are three circular muscles in the human body that are accessible for visual inspection, but unaccountably the iridology people only use two of them as a key to their clients’ state of health.

the iridology people only use two of them as a key to their clients’ state of health.

Unless the erection lasts longer than four hours.

Of course, if that actually happened to me, I’d just keep plowing ahead.

So to speak. Also.

Some of us try to think outside the bag.

Ew. I think I just threw up in your bag a little.

I just want to note that the multiple-language messages in trams in Lisbon do not say “No Smoking”. They say “No Smokers”. Take that, pariahs!

Sight-seeing today. It is seldom that I spend so much time in churches & cathedrals unless I am carrying a can of petrol.

The difference is, initially noticing them doesn’t distract my attention from there on out.

Me, either. BOOBIES.

Breasts are a female sexual characteristic – and they are prominent. Thus people of both genders have subconsciously assigned a relationship between breast size and femininity. i.e. Big tits = more woman. It’s not as bad for guys since the PENIS isn’t as obvious – but the basic equation still holds i.e. Big PENIS = more man.

Is the equation stupid? Yes it is, but in “defense” of my gender, we generally are stupid. Also, BOOBIES makes it hard for guys to think*.

*The words “to think” are optional in that sentence.

WRONG.

Just look ’em in the eye.

I got your back on this one, Jennifer.

Isn’t that the punchline to one of Bette Midler’s better coarser jokes?

Big tits = more woman.

Many of us don’t think that way at all. I find big not attractive.

Here’s an anecdote.
My father is in the Cleveland Clinic this very minute. He is recovering nicely from surgery that was performed on Tuesday. I was there in his room with him and a nurse when we heard that Obama would be visiting. The nurse (who had earlier told us she had worked at the clinic for 35 years) immediately remarked that Obama was a knucklehead who was going to ruin our wonderful American healthcare system. Every muscle on my body turned to stone as I stopped myself from jumping on my chair and screaming “You’re an idiot!” She went on to say that everyone she knew said that doctors wouldn’t practice medicine anymore if the Democrats’ bill passed. My father jumped in, still woozy from anesthetic but aware enough to jump on his hobbyhorse that if you don’t have good health insurance it’s all your fault. “Yes, I’ve heard that too.”

I managed to say calmly that if we missed this opportunity to reform health care, we wouldn’t get another chance for a generation. I can’t believe Nurse didn’t detect an undercurrent in my voice, but she went on to say that she hoped we missed the window. She had talked to people in Canada who had to wait to see doctors, and “no matter who you are you have to wait in line.” (Nice little class tell that, no?) Then she went on to imply that Obama and Congress didn’t care what happened to health care insurance because they had special priviliges. Then I inquired if she or my father knew what kind of health insurance Congress had. Both faltered, because they didn’t. I told them that Congress is on the same federal insurance plan that my father was until he went on Medicare and he took his federal supplemental with him. Nurse bustled around and out of the room. Of course there was no way to “win” this argument with a hospital patient and the nurse taking care of him. It was an insane time and place for arguing, although I must insist on everyone noticing that I DIDN’T START IT!

Nurse and my father both “have theirs” and remain serenely unaware of any worthy Americans who don’t. On another occasion my father seriously asked me whether I thought some old bum living under a bridge “deserved” to get as good health care as he did. He has very little awareness of how lucky he has been in life, to have been an only middle-class child whose father’s work was secure during the Depression, who went to college on the GI bill after being lucky enough to avoid being sent overseas, whose family had relatively good health and excellent coverage from the federal health care plan when it was needed. He just doesn’t see any need for change when it all looks so good from where he’s sitting. Nurse has benefitted from the Cleveland Clinic’s health care plan for 35 years, and will soon be ready to transition to Medicare.

How do you get past that kind of complacency?

I know. You don’t. You pin your hopes on the younger generations and pray that Obama has the clout to get reform through our similarly complacent Congress.

Bill E, here’s your medal. Don’t you feel proud of yourself?

I haven’t read through the thread yet, but let me share an anecdote:

Talking with my Boss (typical small business, midwest republican) about the presser and he complained that Obama only answered 10 questions in 60 minutes…he was complaining that there was too much detail and it turned him off.

(As an aside, he also doesn’t like overhauling the health care system, even though we have a horrible, horrible HSA with an $8,000 deductible. He’s got his, fuck those who don’t).

Big tits = more woman.

In a strictly literal sense, that’s true.

Good to hear from you, Smut, any run-ins with Galician bagpipers?

They say “No Smokers”. Take that, pariahs!

Reminiscent of the “No Gropers” trains in Japan.

Wow. No mention of zombies breasts.

It was an insane time and place for arguing, although I must insist on everyone noticing that I DIDN’T START IT!

Sounds like you you did a good job, giving them something to think about without being too confrontational.

Bill E, here’s your medal. Don’t you feel proud of yourself?

Huh?

It’s not like it’s a political position, it’s a preference. Always has been.

Djur: Unless I completely misunderstood which post you’re referring to. Entirely possible.

I appreciate the compliment, tigrismus, but I felt like a volcano with barely enough of a stone cap to containe chaos. I hope it didn’t show too much. So frustrating.

I guess I need to remember that that kind of teflon classism is exactly what elected progressives have to deal with in trying to get bills passed.

Isn’t that the punchline to one of Bette Midler’s bettercoarser jokes?

Nice to see someone caught it. One of my favorites – not just of Bette’s but of all time.

In a strictly literal sense, that’s true.

While I’m generalizing, did you know that all men are pigs and all women are shrill harridans?

Generally speaking, feets aren’t teh seckshu-all – but there be plenty of footie freaks. Not generally speaking, people attribute characteristics to others (minimally on a sub-conscious level) based on their physical appearance. The combination of the sexual nature of breasts and their positioning has led to people generally assigning “sexual” or “sexy” (in the context of female) as the characteristic for large breasts. Generally speaking, guys have a huge weak spot for sexual or sexy (in the context of female). General Lee speaking Yee Haw!!!

And in conclusion, BOOBIES.

Isn’t that the punchline to one of Bette Midler’s bettercoarser jokes?

Nice to see someone caught it. One of my favorites – not just of Bette’s but of all time.

I think you’re both mis-remembering “Ernie, get off my back.”

BOOBIES.

Tyring to talk down to the press corpse’ level would be foolish. If Obama came up with the perfect “elevator-ride description” of health reform (*smacks self for using a corporate phrase*), the corpse would still have jumped all over the Gates commentary. You can’t please ’em, don’t even try. Stick with the issues and explain ’em as best you can.

In conclusion: Boobies.

The combination of the sexual nature of breasts and their positioning has led to people generally assigning “sexual” or “sexy” (in the context of female) as the characteristic for large breasts.

Who said anything about sexy? I’m talking size!

It is indisputable that Some Girls are Bigger than Others.

In an unrelated note:

Mark Beurhle (sp?) (our Presiden’ts favorite pitcher in the bigs) just finished a perfect game.

Good on him.

Nothing on the latest classy Republican response?

there be plenty of footie freaks

Legs I can understand ’cause legs lead into butts and that’s mah centre of attention…but FEET? Never got it.

Admittedly though there’s something to be said for eyes and smile as well. Far as I’m concerned those count for a lot, even if they aren’t directly connected to TEH SEKS the way T&A is.

Clarification.

Staring at BOOBIES is an absolute liability offense. You have to ensure that the context in which it is going to occur is specifically okay before you indulge.

I was just trying to explain why guys are allupons about the BOOBIES. But just because WANT, does not mean DO. You are not a five-year old child (unless you are a five-year old child, in which case someone really needs to be informed of the stuff you’re reading on the intertrons).

The first time I watched Obama give a speech, I said to myself, “Holy shit! That guy actually said something!”

The first time I watched Obama in an interview, I said to myself, “Holy shit! That guy actually answered questions after thinking about them!”

Given the way politicians have acted for the last [YOUR AGE HERE], this kind of behaviour strikes me as novel enough on its own to deserve to be the headline, without resorting to tricks and stratagems.

I don’t know that I’d worry about being visibly angry, Ready: having obvious strong opinions and yet NOT losing your shit just shows you’re capable of being adult about it.

I was just trying to explain why guys are allupons about the BOOBIES. But just because WANT, does not mean DO.

Maybe that’s a reason for such paranoia about TEH GHEY among idjit fratboy types. They think that the mere proximity to BOOBIES means since they find them appealing they’re going to get some out of the posessor of same. So, of course, they figure teh homoSEXSHULES work the same way and can’t help jumping on whatever appeals to them etc. etc. worldwithoutendamen.

Wow. No mention of zombies breasts.

I hang my head in shame.

Zombie BOOBIES, huh? Your wish ismy command.

the intertrons

Oh, interboobs opportunity missed.

The first time I watched Obama give a speech, I said to myself, “Holy shit! That guy actually said something!”

I know! Apparently the press is still not used to it.

Staring at BOOBIES is an absolute liability offense. You have to ensure that the context in which it is going to occur is specifically okay before you indulge.

Staring at anything is an offense (unless it is a bona fide nine-days wonder, which you can stare at for nine days, upon which it becomes an offense).

Your clarification is nuncupatory.

Nope, not misremembering at all. It was an allusion, not a quotation. Trust me, gurlz, *I* know Miss M’s routines. In fact, IIRC, it was a Sophie Tucker joke to start.

Zombie BOOBIES, huh? Your wish ismy command.

*shaking head in disgusted delight*

Y’know, you never really grasp the full meaning of the internet until you see something like this…

The joke:

I will never forget it you know. I was in bed last night with my boyfriend
Ernie and he said to me, “Soph, you got no tits and a tight box.” I said to him, “Ernie. Get off my back!”

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/4147/sophiejokes.html

It was an allusion, not a quotation.

I’ll accept that. But I still prefer the one that ends, “Honey, why don’t you just buy a vase?”

Your clarification is nuncupatory.

Arrrggghhh. I blame Teh BOOBIES.

Your clarification is nuncupatory.

Can you use that in a sentence?

Y’know, you never really grasp the full meaning of the internet until you see something like this…

Rule 36.

Rule 36.

“No pooftahs”? huh?

I thought “Rule 36” was “no matter what’s on the Internet there’s someone out there with a fetish for it”, and the corrolary that there’s ALSO a website catering to said fetish as well.

Beats me, KKKK, I do not claim to be aware of all innernet trads.

Can you use that in a sentence?

Of course! “I was wearing that shirt when the enraged bull charged me.”

Geez, with the titties and the old jokes, this place is like the floorshow at the Latin Quarter. In fact, if I close my eyes I can almost see Lew Walters neglecting his daughter…

Godammit, I keep refreshing the page to see if I can get one of the “cleavage” quotes at the top and it ain’t happening. Bleah.

BTW – apropos of the discussion, I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir but if you guys haven’t you should check out Carnal Nation over there on the sidebar. All kinds of goodness.

Your clarification is nuncupatory.

Can you use that in a sentence?

We wuz playing pool, see, and dis sistah from da orphanage walks in and said mah fren wuz da fadder o wun da kids, see, an nun cue pa tore he.

Granted, the better-known form of the word is nuncupative, both words mean “oral”. The most common use of the word refers to wills, so here goes:

“A written will is preferable to a nuncupatory will.”

Really, it’s all about my dreams for a national “Talk like a Jack Vance Character” Day. Can’t a bastard dream?

Q. How exactly did actor212 kill the thread?

A. He hacked it to death.

Really, it’s all about my dreams for a national “Talk like a Jack Vance Character” Day.

If I knew how I’d be the Kramer to your Festivus.

If I knew how I’d be the Kramer to your Festivus.

Or, as the case may be, the Ankhe at afram Anacho to my Unnatural Dream Time.

Q. How exactly did actor212 kill the thread?

A. He hacked it to death.

You’ll never pin dis one on me, copper! I wuz ovah in da udder t’read!

AH!

THAT’S what we do with all the wingnuts! Marmelize them!

BBB – you’re a geenyous!

Your clarification is nuncupatory.

What size do the nuns wear?

It’s hard to speak out with marble in your house.