Hot For Treacher
It seems Roy has run afoul of Jim Treacher over the meaning of an otherwise inconsequential joke. Not much to add to this commonplace tale of faux outrage, but we thought we’d do a little digging … and lo and behold! It seems Treacher has a history of this sort of thing:
Sterling Publishing Co., Inc.
387 Park Avenue South
New York, NY 10016
United States of AmericaSir:
I am writing to alert you to a category error in your recent expose on the road-crossing patterns of common fowl appearing in ‘The Gigantic Joke Book’ (ISBN-13: 9780806975146). Despite scant evidence in the peer-reviewed ornithological literature, your report seems to imply a level of conceptual understanding and abstract intent in G. gallus domesticus that contradicts all previous findings by acknowledged experts on this avian subspecies.
While I understand that such mistakes may happen due to lax editing, as often as not they are the result of mischief by disgruntled employees during various stages of the publishing process. At any rate, I implore you to scrutinize the galleys with greater care for the next print run of ‘The Gigantic Joke Book’, in the unlikely event that you should require one for this frankly unexceptional work.
Sincerely,
Jamie Treacher, age 5**********
Topps Company, Inc.
1 Whitehall Street
New York, NY 10004
USASir:
Under the advice of legal counsel, I hereby inform you of certain evidence that has come into my possession implicating an individual in your employ, one Bazooka Joe (the ‘Suspect’), in possible criminal activity involving the Suspect’s deception of a minor (the ‘Victim’) to gain unauthorized entry into the Victim’s place of residence.
To be brief, I believe I have unimpeachable documentation that the Suspect did approach the Victim and ask in colloquial language for entry into the latter’s home, at which point the Suspect, being prompted by the Victim to identify himself, did knowingly supply the Victim with a false first name. Asked for further identification, the Suspect did then supply the Victim with a false Surname, so constructed as to evoke a comedically appreciative response from the Victim and thus put the Victim off his guard as to the possible threat posed by the Suspect.
The evidence is unfortunately truncated at this point, but I fear the worst may have occurred shortly thereafter and demand an immediate investigation. At best, the incident reflects poorly on a firm that would employ such moral degenerates.
Sincerely,
Jimmy Treacher**********
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI
Palazzo del Sant’Uffizio
00120 VATICAN CITYYour Holiness:
I am shocked at various reports that have come to my attention describing the apparently habitual frequenting of taverns and possibly other venues of ill-repute by an unnamed member of your Order, often in the company of two similarly unidentified cronies representing, respectively, a cross-denominational ministry and another religious faith entirely.
I imagine you will be eager to identify and expel this miscreant from the graces of the Church, lest your institution be further tarnished by his unchecked turpitude.
Yours faithfully,
Jim Treacher
You do realize, of course, that this thread will be regarded as an open invitation for Treacher to troll around in. Not that I completely blame him. If I had his blog, I’d troll elsewhere as well.
Oh well, not that one more S,N troll hanging around here would matter much.
Yeah, well … getting the Vatican to divulge its correspondence was the real trick. Too much of a scoop not to share it with the world.
Treacher has taken time out from his punishing schedule writing a hundred comments on every blog that mentions him to condemn Kos for politicizing the Holocaust Museum shooting:
http://twitter.com/JTlol/status/2112139631
Of course, 8 hours earlier (while the body of the security guard was still warm) he wrote:
>Now we’re going to close the Holocaust Museum because it incites violence and makes violent people hate us, right?
http://twitter.com/JTlol/status/2106941856
which is totally not politicizing the issue at all.
Check your turpitude, gentlemen. Check your turpitude.
Maybe he’ll show up here to torment us too. He’s been all over the comments at Balloon Juice and Alicublog.
This issue is important.
Well, now that Debbie Schlussel has solved the Mystery of the Missing Muslim in the Holocaust Museum shooting, we should get to the real issues.
Nice one, D. A. Esp. the Bazooka Joe. Had to read it twice.
Oh, get ready now. Letterman just ran this.
Absolute proof that Dave’s a commie sleeper agent, held in check since the ’70s, only to be used now to put Palin away & destroy Fox Business Channel.
Hey, is the library closed?
You know, if Treacher does one of his smarm-filled drive-bys, the Truth troll does his thing, and y’all do what y’all do when that sort of thing goes on, this thread might break four digits by late morning.
Any takers?
Sorry I wasn’t funny RB. I couldn’t think of anything. I read through Treacher’s whinge at Alicublog and it was just… so… boring…. gaaaa!!
As someone who actually worked as an editor at Sterling Publishing Co. Inc. I can tell you that your letter is not so much satire as it is documentary. Being the US publishers of the Guiness Book of World Records alone made for contact with the public that would make you balance chickens on your head while tap dancing.
I dare . . . I even double-dog dare . . . Jim Treacher to show his mug in the comments at MY blog. I’m calling him out!
And his fish & chips suck, too.
any relation to Bo?
Bo?
Bo Pilgrim
How amusing. Dan Collins, chip off the old cockslapper, and shining example of a gentleman, is threatening Roy.
Time to resurrect an epic and legendary thread. Still high on the Google list, that one.
This entire thread is offensively sizest.
>he flips said,
>June 11, 2009 at 10:16
>Bo Pilgrim
Ah. No, never heard of him.
Though I just read how he handed out $10,00 checks on the Senate Floor. Classy. At least it saves anyone having to set up a sting operation.
I am related to Kilgore Trout however.
>Now we’re going to close the Holocaust Museum because it incites violence and makes violent people hate us, right?
Well yes Jim, that is the strawman I’d reflexively project onto my ideological opponents if I was the kind of person whose first instinct was to blame the victim. Most sane people would rather close down the websites and publishers that tell their audiences to go out and kill Jews and librul Jew-lovers, but of course that would be an infringement on their God-given Free Speech Rights for White Conservatives and would make them cry.
Ye Gods, what a fuckhole.
Even though the guy’s a loon, I must admit that I enjoyed Treacher in Hot Fuzz.
Letterman can jump higher than capital I and more powerful than silent E, so the Spellbinder’s little minions should watch themselves. Do those people not remember when Letterman crushed McCain over McCain’s quitting the campaign just because McCain was too scared to appear on Letterman’s show?
I do, and I will have none of this revisionist history.
And what about this guy… Mr. Reynolds. Why doesn’t he allow comments on his site?
“He’s fuck-stupid.”
OR he doesn’t want anyone’s initial reactions to what he’s written.
“Yeah, ‘cuz he’s fuck-stupid.”
The only thing that Treacher regrets about this, is that he didn’t manage to skewer Letterman while he was still with NBC. To whit:
Thomas Alva Edison, or his representative
Edison General Electric
Rockefeller Center
Fairfield CT
Sir,
It is with a heavy heart that I must pen this missive to you, for I do hold you and your works in the absolute highest regard. Unfortunately, I feel that it is my duty as a citizen and moral imperative as a member of humanity to bring this unmitigated travesty to your attention. I speak, of course, of the design of your electrically powered incandescent lamp.
I had originally assumed that you have already heard of the widespread confusion regarding your invention. Many ethnic groups as well as representatives of various professions have such difficulty with your device that it often requires quite a number of them to manipulate it. Often there is even confusion regarding the requisite amount of personnel that are sufficient to replace an expired device with a pristine one from your very factory floors. Consider also, that many have come to rely on your wonderous device for illumination, and that the chaotic procedure of general maintenance must occur in the dark!
And yet, the lack of action on your part regarding this potentially fatal design flaw indicates to me that you must still be “in the dark” (if you’ll pardon the pun) regarding the lack of a standard operations and maintenance guide for your most well-known device. Who knows how many have already succumbed to injury. I implore you to rectify this glaring omission.
Humbly yours,
Jim Treacher
And his fish & chips suck, too.
Fie on thee Mr. Pez for stealing the joke I was intending to make.
And I see I don’t read Edroso often enough for my own good, re: Update 3. That’s some mighty fine snark there.
Peak wingnut? Maybe the raw number of people hold such views is declining, or at least those who reflexively nod their heads at wingnut screeching. But it seems that the wingnut inciters, those people really invested in this shit, are becoming more frothy and desperate. A Letterman joke? A crappy one at that? Next up: “Musselmen Industries manufactured Airpseed Sensors for Doomed Air France Jet.”
Now we’re going to close the Holocaust Museum because it incites violence and makes violent people hate us, right?
Help me out here: Who is the “us” in this question?
If I may speculate, and it would be borderline-criminal not to, the point of the joke that has Cons enraged is the suggestion of humor at a swarthy Latino man mounting a precious pale nymph.
I mean, given it is attribute-the-worst-motive week, this is seems eminently reasonable.
Also, yeah, must ask the question – why all the sympathy for Palin and none for A-Rod? I mean, why it is not okay to joke about women having unprotected consensual sex in Yankee Stadium, whilst totally forgetting that there’s another person involved and HE TOO HAS FEELINGS.
Again, it is a Latino thing?
Ha. I especially like the third one.
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI
Palazzo del Sant’Uffizio
00120 VATICAN CITY
Your Holiness:
I am disturbed by rumors that you have taken to defecating in the woods…
You know the one where you get something like looks like a bow and put in on the top of your head, just below your nose, or in front of your neck depending on who’s speaking? The one where the Dastardly Villain says, “You must pay the rent,” the Damsel in Distress says, “I can’t pay the rent,” and then Our Hero says, “I’ll pay the rent.” Treacher was so struck by it the first time he heard it, he’s sought to model his life after Our Hero every since.
Well now I may not be no big city East Coast inter-llectual type but my daddy always used to say to me (when I would get home from prep school and before I left home to go to Smith) my pappy I say my pappy he used to say to me “Now Molly you shore can tell lots ’bout a man based on where that man buys his corn pone” and that right there was some good ol’ folksy knowledge that I never did forget sure enough! And to this day I do believe as a woman from Texas who don’t put on no airs for nobody (not even when I was at Smith or Columbia) that by golly by gum as a woman and a Texan and a good ol’ fashioned populist I sure did learn that lesson. By golly. One thing I surely do hate is folks like George W. Bush and other conservatives who was brought up affluent and educated the expensive way and then done put on like they was a populist like me, a woman, from Texas.
Curses! Foiled again!
I am disturbed by rumors that you have taken to defecating in the woods…
Zoological Association of America
4511 N. Himes Ave. Ste. 200
Tampa, FL 33614
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing in the hope that you can put to rest the persistent popular notion that bears have the cognitive capacity to adhere to a religious belief system…
my pappy he used to say to me “Now Molly you shore can tell lots ’bout a man based on where that man buys his corn pone” and that right there was some good ol’ folksy knowledge that I never did forget sure enough!
You need to tie an onion to your belt.
One of those big yellow ones.
the point of the joke that has Cons enraged is the suggestion of humor at a swarthy Latino man mounting a precious pale nymph
If we’re denied that, there goes 35% of all cartoons in men’s magazines!
Topps is at Whitehall Street? I thought that was where you went to get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and seee-lected. Hate to think that Bazooka Joe was in on that racket.
strong letter to follow!
If we’re denied that, there goes 35% of all cartoons in men’s magazines!
And I only “read” them for the cartoons.
I don’t even understand the problem here. You alls a talkin like its a bad thing that my mom is a stupid, slutty skank. Thats the way republicans raise their women to be! Its not a bad thing. Hell its a good thing! We like our women putting out, uneducated and not competitive. If God had wanted us to be smart, He would have put supercomputers into our heads! Instead we got boobies. Dont be hatin on our boobies!
OT slightly – over at the Cockslapper’s place I note he somewhat champions Ziegler in the Ziegler/Brewer contest.
I saw only a few seconds of footage of Ziegler/Brewer before I had to turn it off – seriously repelled at the bundle of nastiness that is John Ziegler. But it got me wondering – he’s a guy with serious issues about women. So who’s betting that at some point he and Palin are going to have a falling out, and when that happens – Wow.
I hear that Treacher’s fish and chips are better than Long John Silver’s. Or is that Long Dong Silver’s? Although the latter can be forgiven for not excelling in that cooking category, ever since that tragic accident with the deep fryer on the porn set when his bathrobe fell open.
that tragic accident with the deep fryer on the porn set when his bathrobe fell open
Tempura bukkake!
….
ew, I think I just grossed MYSELF out.
Ever read Ziegler’s manifesto at http://www.therealkfi.com ? Hoo boy.
Top-10 reasons Conservatives didn’t like Letterman’s Palin joke:
10. Yankee batters should not be mocked, especially not when they are getting ass-whupped by the Sox.
9. People having sex in a public venue is gross, not funny.
8. Latinos should not bang white chicks.
7. White chicks may bang Latinos. But ONLY after they’ve mowed the lawn.
6. It’s not funny when a young lady gets laid while her mother is in the same building.
5. It’s wrong to objectify future hall-of-famers.
4. Extramarital sex is a sin, not a joke.
3. Getting “knocked-up” is a sacred totally non-laughing ritual, like taking communion or watching Nascar, not something to casually tossed around as movie title or a cheap attempt to get a laugh.
2. Jokes about sex that do not carry the punchline “But Clinton did it!” are never funny.
1. Who has sex when they could be watching baseball?
7. White chicks may bang Latinos. But ONLY after they’ve mowed the lawn.
Or if the Dark Bros. are filming it for a 4-hour compilation video.
“And I see I don’t read Edroso often enough for my own good,”
I think Roy’s a treasure. He’s one of my favorite intertrons writers. He’s wry and wicked smaht. Really one of the best snarkers in the field.
From the latest post, about NRO’s perennial fundraising drive:
Let’s work on Letterman’s joke a little, as a special treat for Treacher.
Letterman: Now cut that out. Get back in the dugout.
Rodriguez: But that’s where I’ve been this whole time!
Letterman: Now cut that out. Get back in the dugout.
Rodriguez: But that’s where I’ve been this whole time!
Random Palin Daughter: I can’t believe they said you’re no good in a clutch!
Sane:
David Letterman made a crude joke involving two prominent American celebrities, one of a dozen or so jokes that Letterman tells on each broadcast, four nights a week.
Friggin’ nuts:
Influential and noted liberalDavid Letterman made a crude morally worse than the Holocaust joke involving
two prominent American celebritiesa sweet innocent 14 year old,one of a dozen or so jokes that Letterman tells on each broadcast, four nights a weekwhich proves that the entire Left are immoral, women-hating, child-rapists.Also, POOP.
I move that this thread be closed forever due to the tempura bukkake comment. I now have erectile dysfuntion.
Tempura bukkake!
Letterman: Get back in the dugout.
Rodriguez: That’s what she said!
So, is she gonna keep the baby?
Letterman: That’s totally inappropriate.
A-Rod: Yeah, but this way she won’t get knocked up.
Makes its own gravy!
Makes its own gravy!
You gotta love that the recipe for deep-fried mayonnaise comes with a recipe for “Secret Sauce” (more mayonnaise).
Treacher comes into the Balloon Juice comments at 10:29 pm on Tuesday. His last comment was at 12:25 this morning, after which Cole shut down the thread. He spent 26 hours obsessively trolling. Not once was there more than an hour’s duration between his comments.
That’s gotta be some kind of record for blogwhoring — which it’s painfully obvious was his purpose. Gotta be.
It’s the Paula Deen sextape all over again.
I’m sorry, I don’t have any fucking idea who this putz Jim Treacher is, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to waste one millisecond of my life learning anything more about another goofy and batshit crazy wingnut making a public mockery of himself by wetting his pants in faux outrage over some completely stupid and pointless wingnut non-issue du jour.
It’s hard enough keeping up with the usual suspects in the batshit crazy wingnut hall of stupid (Malkin, Instapundit, Pantload, Ace, Pammycakes, et al.) to add yet another raging, spittle-spewing idiot fuckstick to this pantheon of drooling, right-wing reactionaries.
I love the comedy gold these idiots provide us, but I fear the more I learn about them, the more I might be overfilling my brain with this deluge of right-wing stupidity, and I fear I might lose Shakespeare, my ability to speak Spanish, or some really cool recipes for martinis if my brain overloads.
Hahaha. But of course I clicked on the links provided, and now I can no longer speak Spanish. I’m so ashamed.
Aside from blogwhoring, what the hell was Treacher’s motivation?
I wonder if he had visions of Palin holding an audience with him while she sat on her bear skin-covered throne in Wasilla proclaiming: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant!”
I was about to type “receiving him” instead of “holding an audience with him”, but that would have carried some nasty connotations.
You have to wonder how Treacher feels about the Bob Saget Comedy Roast, which Comedy Central has repeatedly aired in prime time and which contains numerous, specific jokes about child molestation throughout.
Hopefully no one will tell him the Aristocrats joke.
That’s the thing – it’s clear that blogwhoring and Palin-humping was Treacher’s motivation. He’s not really outraged about rape or child abuse jokes in general.
Yeah I know. It’s just that it’s high time somebody told Treacher that the position of John Ziegler has already been filled.
Does this thread have a Treacher force field around it? Where the fuck is he?
Treacher spent an entire night responding to every single comment on thaTreacher comes into the Balloon Juice comments at 10:29 pm on Tuesday. His last comment was at 12:25 this morning, after which Cole shut down the thread.
It was a spectacularly pathetic performance by Treacher.
(And I thought the Letterman joke was really dickish)
Does this thread have a Treacher force field around it? Where the fuck is he?
He’s probably exhausted after his Balloon Juice all-nighter.
He’s probably exhausted after his Balloon Juice all-nighter.
I’m picturing something similar to the scene in Mosquito Coast, when the father, who’s been getting crazier and crazier, finally passes out and sleeps on the ground for two days.
Does this thread have a Treacher force field around it? Where the fuck is he?
You kidding? I got that shit tapped directly into the warp core, no way he gets in here unless we run out of anti-matter. It was on the shopping list…
You kidding? I got that shit tapped directly into the warp core, no way he gets in here unless we run out of anti-matter.
I’m going to try anyway.
Treacher…
Treacher…
Treacher…
Theoretically, he should a) show up in a mirror, or b) help Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis scare some yuppies.
We like our women putting out, uneducated and not competitive.
Well, that’s true! Just look at Jessica Simpson.
If God had wanted us to be smart, ..
you’d be boys, right, sweetie?
I wonder if he had visions of Palin holding an audience with him while she sat on her bear skin-covered throne in Wasilla proclaiming: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant!”
Naked.
I’m picturing something similar to the scene in Mosquito Coast, when the father, who’s been getting crazier and crazier, finally passes out and sleeps on the ground for two days.
Or he’s like that noseless meth freak in ‘The Salton Sea’ and he’s running around looking for his prosthetic honker
Roy hasn’t run afoul of me! I like Roy just fine.
after i wrote about letterman/palin on my piddling blog, treacher came by to comment twice (so far)! and he followed me to the political animal comment thread, too!
>Roy hasn’t run afoul of me! I like Roy just fine.
Oh, he’s one of the good rape apologists.
Uh-oh, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo caught me stalking him.
Hi, Suckersapien! I don’t know that Roy’s a rape apologist so much as a silly goose. That’s what I like to call him, anyway. But you could be right.
The info nugget about Treacher that is crucial to interpreting this particular wet fart of a controversy is that until quite recently, his blog was titled “Mother, May I Sleep With Treacher?” Really.
You read that right: he’s built his sad little career as an intertubes person on the proposition that statutory rape is funny, and now his gambit at greater notoriety is to formulate an elaborate counterintuitive interpretation of a vanilla freaking late-night joke and to troll the blogs shrieking that anyone who disagrees is a child-rape apologist.
It’s impossible that he is serious — the laws of physics as we currently know them don’t allow for this degree of hypocrisy. Is he running some kind of long-game punk on RedState, NRO, and the Palins?
The trick is not to click on his link, no matter how tempted you are to see what sort of mind could emit such nonstop kitty pudding. He’s counting those hits, y’see.
Anyway, he’s already changed the name from “Mother May I Sleep With Treacher.” Yep, he gave his site a child-rape fantasy name. Though he blames it all on Tori Spelling.
Hey Treacher – I’ve got an 8-ball and a case of Lucky Lager … let’s do this thing. 500 comments of back-and-forth that change not a single person’s opinion … I want it all.
Checked terpitude
FYWP
Sorry, was supposed to be a link. It was amusing, but the fun’s gone out of it now.
Hi, satyr9us! There was once a Tori Spelling movie called “Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?”, and it was such an awful title that I thought it would be funny to adapt it and also I’m a pedophile. Also, thank you for calling it a career.
Anyway, thanks for the overwhelming flood of hits, you guys! Must’ve been at least 5.
Hi Sadly, No commenters! Here is a witty and self-effacing rejoinder to your criticism of my obsession with a late night comedian’s botched joke and also a pre-emptive and passive-aggressive description of myself in unflattering terms to show that I ‘get it’ and am a good sport when it comes to cross-blog debate! For example – I’m a pedophile! But really, I’m not! But you think I am, don’t you! Or at least you think I will be driven to a state of spittle-flecked rage at the implication that I am! Ha ha – I know your tricks and I defeat them with self-deprecating wit instead of the sputtering outrage that you expected me to deliver! Ha ha! So how will YOU respond? Let the battle of who is cleverer and more facile with witty rejoinders begin!
That was pretty good.
Is someone namestealing this Jim Treacher person and trying to make him look really stupid?
Will the real Jim Treacher please – OK, never mind, I see, that’s him with the three-day beard and slept-in clothes.
Hi, kc! I thought it was somebody namestealing me and trying to be funny. And, of course, succeeding.
Oops, satur9us got there firstest and bestest @ 9:42.
Just checking back in to see if Ol’ Jim came here to give D. Aristophanes the Treach-around.
So, what’d I miss?
Hi, Jamey!