Aunque la mona se vista de seda, mona siempre queda*
Posted on June 10th, 2009 by Tintin
Shorter Ed Whelan:
ABOVE (left to right): Kathryn Lopez, Ed Whelan**
Ed Whelan, America’s Shittiest Website™
A Judge of Latinicity of Wisdom of Grammar?
- And here is the best reason not to confirm Judge Sotomayor: her Spanish grammar is shitty.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Although the monkey dresses in silk, she is still a monkey.
**Unfortunately Ed Whelan once photoshopped into this poster looks better than he does in real life.
linkee no workee.
How’s about
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=ZWQwNWY3ODRiNGFlZWQ1Mzc3Y2IzYzM2OTI5MTZkZDM=
[Tintin adds: Fixed.]
her Illegal Alien grammar is shitty
Fytzed as per G. Gordon Liddy.
In Colombia that would translate as, “although the blonde wears silk, she will always be blonde.”
–Until further notice, replace “racist” with “racialist” in all interviews and news releases.
–Teleprompter!
Now I am freaking out that every time I visit this post, I will find that the image of Mz. Lopez will loom up larger and closer to Whelan. Please assure me that this will not be the case.
This is pretty common phomenon in children of parents who are from a different linguistic background. The kids understand a lot of the spoken language, speak somewhat less, and write somewhat less than that. I worked with a young Peruvian-American lawyer (born in Queens) who made a heroic effort to transform the language she spoke at home into Spanish at a level where she could negotiate contracts in Spain. Oddly, in her parents’ home village in the Andes, there was no word for “synthetic collateralized debt obligation” or “temporary stay of insolvency proceedings.” Sotomayor, it seems, spent those years perfecting her English, not her Spanish. (Wasn’t that last weeks faux outrage?) Shouldn’t the right wingers be now praising her for that?
The Republican Party’s Plan for America said,
June 10, 2009 at 21:54
–Until further notice, replace “racist” with “racialist” in all interviews and news releases.
–Teleprompter! Terrorism!
Fixed that for ya.
Maybe Ed Whelan had to fall back on that because he’s gun shy about revealing Sotomayor’s real name. Hint, rhymes with Nosef Xtalin.
Gee, I’m gone for 5 minutes and suddenly there is a new thread. Coincidence? Perhaps, perhaps not:
Carrie P has lost her Miss California Crown due to “repeated breaches of contract”. Oh dear! Better batten down the hatches!
I’m afraid I’m going to have to write my Senators and make sure she’s not confirmed to any position in which she would teach Spanish.
He may be on to something. Sotomayor once uttered the word “cotton,” the Spanish word for cotton is algodón, and algodón is from the Arabic.
More proof of Obama’s cryptic Muslim tendencies. Alert Jon Voight!
The Republican Party’s Plan for America said,
June 10, 2009 at 21:54
–Until further notice, replace “racist” with “racialist” in all interviews and news releases.
–Teleprompter! Terrorism!
–Carter!
FiXX0red even morer.
A Judge of Latinicity of Wisdom of Grammar?
Huh?
Just wait until Mr. Ed finds out she cooks with cilantro. Or doesn’t.
Carrie P has lost her Miss California Crown due to “repeated breaches of contract”. Oh dear! Better batten down the hatches!
At least she didn’t dress up as a slutty stewardess. Just took off her clothes for a photo shoot.
Seriously though, about the only thing that would get her fired is if she resisted Hairpiece’s advances. So, that is probably what happened.
la verdad es que esa sucia nuyoricana no representa los valores de la comunidad. es bien sabido que, en la verdadera América™, no reconocemos la posibilidad que una mujer, y peor, una sucia caribeña con mala gramática y acento de sirvienta, sea más sabia que un hombre blanco.
también, secso anal. también.
Can you creative libs work in whining about Ayers and Wright somewhere?
Bang on hypothetical Spanish-speaking-learned-friend of Ed Whelan, who I’m sure he’ll out in his next posting (it’s probably Professor Ed’sNotARacist Sanchez). For example, “bull” is modifying “shit” meaning that bullshit is an adjective. “Whelan”, by the way, means “total dickwad” — hence, his surname means “I’m a pretty pony! Look at me dance!”
If you LIEbruls rename Spanish to “Freedom Tongue Rolling”, we’ll consider confirming Sotomayor.
Carrie P has lost her Miss California Crown due to “repeated breaches of contract”.
“breach of contract” sounding SO dirty in this context. Rawr!
For that matter, what part of speech does she think “mayor” (larger/greater) is? (”Soto,” by the way, means “grove” or “thicket” — hence, her surname means “greater grove”).
So I guess there is no Brazilian in her future?
as one of the most mexican members of this blog, i can safely say that “hacerle un Wheldan” is a common northern mexican slang term for a sex act involving latex, freshly delivered kid goats and surreptitious donkey punching.
as in “anoche, cuando estaba con Miguel Klaus, le hicimos un Wheldan a Ana Altcasa.
involving latex, freshly delivered kid goats and surreptitious donkey punching.
What happened to the hot strippers and midget lesbians?
Anyways, Sotomayor’s speech is a pretty good one:
http://www.judiciary.senate.gov/nominations/SupremeCourt/Sotomayor/upload/Question-12-d-No-10-11-7-96-Princeton-speech.pdf
Thanks, Ed for pointing it out, a good read… Well it’s new for me. All you other folks got to read it when the Right was freaking out about rice and beans and all them weird things those folks do with pigs.
How can you tell if donkey is surreptitious?
“How can you tell if donkey is surreptitious?”
She sneaks up on tippy-hooves and whispers “The pig is in the blanket” while looking the other way.
The donkey wears a fake mustache, dark glasses and a Mets cap?
And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? Behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me.
You know what hitman Whelan really looks like? The guy in the British original version of “State of Play.”
Basically, a scary version of Gareth from The Office.
Can’t find a better picture right now, but if you haven’t seen the movie, imagine this guy (actor Stuart Goodwin) trying to look serious and scary:
OK, that was weird, the picture showed in preview then disappeared when posted.
“Robert Bingham” (Stuart Goodwin):
http://www.hamiltonhodell.co.uk/uploads/images/1096906797738_0.9226112824596753.jpg
Seriously though, about the only thing that would get her fired is if she resisted Hairpiece’s advances
Good dawg, wouldn’t YOU?
Once upon a time in Mexico, a donkey was drinking from a trough. An American fox came rushing over the hill, not looking where he was going. He bumped into the donkey, knocking the surprised beast into the water.
Oh hey, Ahm sorrah! he said in a thick American accent.
I’m burro! said the donkey, extending a hoof.
zorro…sorry…
it was funnier when my friend told it.
So I guess there is no Brazilian in her future?
No wonder you wanted to be anonymous for that one.
cuál es la diferencia entre Wheldan y una bolsa llena de mierda podrida?
la bolsa.
it was funnier when his mom told it.
So the knucklehead who shot up the Holocaust Museum was a birther.
Good dawg, wouldn’t YOU?
I’m sorry, she does have a nice butt.
If only Barack Hussein Obama had produced his original birth certificate, this tragedy could have been avoided. Bookmark it.
Entertainment Weekly wins the headline contest: Whelan stripped of crwn.
I hate to say this, but the fucktards are quite right – “In Spanish, we don’t have adjectives” is a pretty stupid thing to say. And so, by the way, is “Each time I see a split infinitive, an inconsistent tense structure or the unnecessary use of the passive voice, I blister.” I blame the latter on Strunk and White (which, oh the horror, Sotomayor actually recommends). The former is probably the linguists’ fault.
Pere Ubu, I meant resisting Hairpiece’s advances.
Zombie write poorfully.
Dinsdale?
Pere Ubu, I meant resisting Hairpiece’s advances.
Oh, yeah, well, THAT I can see, no prob.
Hm, interesting. In that first speech Whelan quotes, Sotomayor actually repeats that thing with adjectives, but this time in correct linguistic terminology (emphasis mine):
Should I hang on and wait for the correction? Yeah, didn’t think so.
“cuál es la diferencia entre Wheldan y una bolsa llena de mierda podrida?
la bolsa.”
Not speaking spanish, I’m guessing this is something like:
What is the difference between Wheldan and a [box/bucket/sack/container of some sort?] full of [something? Mierda could be from Muerto, meaning dead something]?
The [box/bucket/sack/container?]
I’m going to go ahead and guess “a sack of wet shit.” Was I close?
Well sure, if you quote what she SAID she sounds intelligent enough, but just drop a few key words and phrases and she is TOTALLY UNQUALIFIED.
I’m going to go ahead and guess “a sack of wet shit.” Was I close?
Pretty damn. “A sack full of rotten shit.”
Hmm. Not bad. Perhap I should learn spanish.
Doesn’t Sotomayor’s obvious ignorance of basic Spanish kinda contradict the whole “she’s not fit to be a judge of the Supreme Court of these United States because she’s a ‘racialist’ member of ‘La Raza’ (aka the Klan for Latinos) who believes that a ‘wise Latina’ will always know better than a white man” thing?
I mean, it sounds like she must’ve been spending more time studying law books at Princeton than making sure she got her Spanish perfect at the underground La Raza meetings.
Andrew,
well of course it does, just like Obama’s mispronunciation of the word “hijab” contradicts the whole “he speaks Ayrab, therefore he’s a secret Muslin” BS. Unless, of course, both are using those “errors” to send a message to their supporters…
Sotomayer with an e? Really?
MormoWhinger logic
No, really.
Hell, it’s not even an ignorance of Spanish. A lot of Spanish speakers aren’t great at formal Spanish grammar, the same way most English speakers aren’t familiar with formal English grammar. It’s not like she’s saying “Me want-o el quesadilla por mi dinner-o” or anything.
Unless, of course, both are using those “errors” to send a message to their supporters
Disqualifying ignorance? Grammatical gaffe? Terrorist throat salute?
The photo’s title is missing a capital “S”
Based on today’s edition of “When Wingnuts Attack,” can we expect Ross Douthat and Megan McArdle to suggest that we close holocaust museums? Because, you know, there are so many people who oppose them, and who are forced to used violence to show their opposition, because the democratic process has not allowed people to vote on whether or not holocaust museums should be allowed in their communities.
¡Mierdra!
/ Jarry
Did ya’ll catch the Freeper thread started by the Holocaust Museum Shooter? More or less indistinguishable from a lot of the crazies highlighted by S,N! industries.
As always, the Freep’s comments are teh craaaazy!
Von Brunn was a left-wing nut job. […] Like most left-wing nut jobs, he is xenophobic and has no faith in the Constitution or the electoral process.
This shit is way beyond parody.
Did ya’ll catch the Freeper thread started by the Holocaust Museum Shooter? More or less indistinguishable from a lot of the crazies highlighted by S,N! industries.
From Freeper “TaxRelief”:
Pretty funny in light of the original Von Brunn article.
Damn you for the umpteenth time, PeeJ!
Yeah, lol. The mods there moved pretty quickly to brush that under the rug.
Seriously, is there anyone left in the world that doesn’t know that Freep is full of right-wing lunatics? It’s like where neo-Nazis goes to dress up and pretend they’re level headed, except that everyone can still see all the swastika tattoos.
Like, at a cocktail party:
“Sure is good drinks here.”
“Mm hm.”
“It’s good to get out once in a while, you know? Enjoy the worldly delights.”
“Yeah.”
“So, what’s you’re name? You work near here?”
“Yeah, uh, excuse me, but WTF is all that shit on your arms and neck? They all look like swastikas and Hitlers.”
“Oh that? Haha! Nevermind about that. Anyways, have you ever thought about all the problems facing the nation today? All the crime, you know, and problems?”
“Uhh….”
Are there any “left wing loons” who have cut loose with firearms in a public place?
“I think I have to go.”
“Really? I’ve got Mein Kampf and some meth in the van. We can just chill or something.”
“Uh, no.”
Sn StmyrSn mrc wll mv, n ll lklhd, frm Sprm Crt wth Jstc Dvd Str s mmbr t crt wth Jstc Sn Stmyr. Nthr th lphbtcl rdr f th jstcs nr th cnstttnl dsrdr wll chng. Lttl wll chng bt gndr nd thncty, whch th mjr nws md wld hv s blv r th mst mprtnt cnsdrtns.
Th stry ln s s pplng: th frst frcn-mrcn prsdnt ppnts th frst Ltn mrcn t th hghst crt n th lnd. Sm hv lrdy dsprgd t s n ffrmtv-ctn pck. Th chrg s s nfr nw s t ws yrs g, whn Prsdnt Grg H.W. Bsh nmntd Clrnc Thms. Stmyr hs mpl ntllct nd xprnc t gt whr sh s. Sh lkly dd nt hv t ply thr th gndr r thnc crd.
Bt sh my hv bn frtnt tht sh dd nt hv ths crds plyd gnst hr, s dd grp f Nw Hvn frfghtrs, ncldng n Hspnc frfghtr, wh wr dnd prmtns bcs n frcn-mrcns qlfd fr prmtns whn thy tk th sm tst. N blck prmtns mnt n prmtns. Prd. nd f stry. Th frfghtrs ppld, bt t n vl. Thr pl ws dsmssd whn t rchd th Scnd .S. Crct Crt f ppls n Nw Yrk, whr Jdg Stmyr st s prt f thr-jdg pnl. t ws dsmssd, s th wrld knws by nw, wtht wrttn pnn. N nd t xpln t th frfghtrs r thr ttrnys, r ndd th rst f s psnts, why nt prmtng th frfghtrs wh pssd th tst nd nt prmtng ths wh fld th tst qld ql jstc ndr th lw. Thy – nd w – prbbly wldn’t ndrstnd.
Bt Stmyr ds ndrstnd, r t lst hps sh ndrstnds. s sh sd n spch: ” wld hp tht ws Ltn wmn wth th rchnss f hr xprncs wld mr ftn thn nt rch bttr cnclsn thn wht ml wh hsn’t lvd tht lf.” nd, lt’s fc t, th frfghtrs cs ds hv sm smblnc f lgc. Ths wh pssd th tst nd ths wh dd nt wr “nt prmtd” qlly. t brngs t mnd th lt Sn. Rmn Hrsk’s bsrvtn f fw dcds g tht th mdcr nd sm rprsnttn n th Sprm Crt, snc thr r s mny f s – f thm. Whtvr.
Bt nvr mnd th ffrmtv ctn nd frgt fr mmnt Stmyr’s flsh rmrk tht Ltn-mrcn wmn wll mk bttr dcsns thn wht mn. Wht s mst rvlng s smthng th nmn sd tht wll n dbt b xplnd wy s jk r frvls rmrk. Whl tkng prt n pnl dscssn t Dk nvrsty Lw Schl n , Jdg Stmyr xplnd th dffrnc btwn rlng s .S. dstrct nd ppls crt jdg. “Th crt f ppls s whr plcy s md,” sh sd, dspt th fct tht th .S. Cnstttn frbds crts t mk “plcy” (tht’s th jb f th lgsltr). Tht, t lst, ws rfrshng cndr.
Bt Stmyr ws rlctnt Cssndr. Sh mmdtly trd t xpln wy hr dmssn nd trppd vr th thry f hls: whn stck n hl, stp dggng. “nd knw ths s n tp nd shld nvr hv sd tht,” sh cnfssd n m clp mmnt. Thn sh plwd hd lk Ry Rgls, grppng th bll scrly s h rn th wrng wy n th Rs Bwl.
” knw, knw. W dn’t mk lw. knw. knw.” Tht brght wv f lghtr t Dk Lw Schl, s t wld t ny thr. Wsly r nt, Stmyr ws mkng jk. Sh knws, nd vryn n tht rm knw, tht jdgs mk lw. Hr dnl ws ndnbly pr frm. t ws, “W dn’t mk lw.” (Wnk, wnk, yk, yk.) W, th ntllgnts, knw bttr. Bt b crfl nt t tll th psnts.
f thr s ny dbt, n nd nly lstn t th xplntn tht fllwd. t th dstrct crt lvl, sh xplnd, th rlngs r nt “prcdntl,” s thy r bsd n lw nd fcts, nd “th fcts cntrl.” Bt n crt f ppls, rlngs r hndd dwn tht stblsh prcdnts tht bth ppllt nd dstrct crts r lkly t fllw n ftr jdgmnts. nd n mkng sd rlngs, n mst lk t whr prcdnt hs bn nd whr t s hdd. nd th jdg lks t wht mpct hs r hr rlng wll hv “n th nxt stp n th dvlpmnt f th lw.” (mphss ddd.) Bt “w dn’t mk lw.” Ys, Jdg Stmyr. W knw. W knw.
Hr w hv Sprm Crt nmn cnfrmng vrtlly vrythng cnsrvtvs, lbrtrns, nd cnstttnlsts hv bn syng bt jdcl ctvsm fr th pst hlf-cntry. Stmyr hs wvd rd flg n frnt f Snt Rpblcns wh hv bn cndmnng jdcl ctvsm n vry lctn cmpgn nd thn vtng t cnfrm vry jdcl ctvst nmntd fr th Sprm Crt nd lssr crts. Stmyr wvd th flg. Wll th Rpblcn lphnt chrg? r wll t d wht t dd fr Clntn nmns Gnsbrg, Bryr, nd thrs – rll vr nd ply dd?
Thr my, ftr ll, b n pnt n brkng wth prcdnt.
f nyn nds mr vdnc s t hw w lv n tpsy-trvy g f mrl trptd, tw rcnt nws strs prvd t. n s t f th Mrpl Nwtwn Schl Dstrct n sbrbn Phldlph, whr schl dcrd tht Bbl cldn’t b rd drng shw-nd-tll. Thn, crss th cntry n lmd, Clfrn, thr s mndtry nw crrclm tht drws n qvlncy btwn nrml mrrg nd th fx vrty.
Nw, cld mntn hw Scrptr tld s thr wld cm tm whn gd wld b clld bd nd bd wld b clld gd, bt thn ths pc wld b rndrd npprprt fr schl rdng.
Wht trnsprd n sbrbn Phldlph gs bck t ctbr , whn prnt Dnn Ky Bsch ws nvtd t rd hr sn Wsly’s fvrt bk drng hs schl’s “ll bt M” prgrm. Hwvr, t jst s hppns tht, ccrdng t Mrs. Bsch, Wsly’s fvrt bk s th Bbl. Nt srprsngly, ths csd sm sclr gt t hs schl, Clbrtsn lmntry.
Shckr f shckrs, th cs ws ltgtd, nd jst rcntly th Thrd .S. Crct Crt f ppls ffrmd lwr crt rlng nd fnd n Clbrtsn’s fvr. Wrtng fr th mjrty, Chf Jdg nthny J. Scrc bt th sprtn-f-chrch-nd-stt drm nd sd, “Prnts f pblc schl kndrgrtn stdnts my rsnbly xpct thr chldrn wll nt bcm cptv dncs t n dlt’s rdng f rlgs txts.”
Bt ths rlctnc t mps vls dsn’t xtnd t th sclr vrty. Ths s vdncd by th lmd ntd Schl Dstrct n Clfrn, whch hs dcdd t dny prnts th pprtnty f ptng thr chldrn t f ts “Sf Schls” (ys, tht’s phmsm) crrclm, whch s blld s n ffrt t prvnt nt-hmsxl bllyng. Ths, dspt th fct tht th prgrm ctvly pshs th hmsxl gnd. Wrts dm Brckly t CNSNws.cm:
Th prgrm nclds [sc] btwn n nd fr lssns ch yr btwn grds nd t ntrdc stdnts t “LGBT” (lsbn, gy, bsxl, nd trnssxl) sss.
s prt f th crrclm, scnd grdrs wll b xpsd t bks lk “nd Tng Mks Thr” — stry bk bt tw ml pngns wh htch n gg nd rs chck tgthr n Nw Yrk’s Cntrl Prk Z — nd frst grdrs wll s “Wh’s n Fmly?” whch xpss stdnts t vrty f “dffrnt” fmly strctrs.
Thr s mch t sy bt ths strs, bt frst wll srprs mny nd dsppnt my crtcs. lthgh dsgr prfndly wth Clbrtsn lmntry Schl’s dcsn, mst spprt thr rght t b wrng. s ’v sd bfr, t s cmpltly rdcls n prncpl t pply fr spch rghts wthn th cnfns f schls, s nthr tchrs nr stdnts njy ny sch thng. f tchr hbtlly mks npprprt rmrks, w wll xpct hm t b frd r plcd n dmnstrtv dty. Lkws, stdnts my nt crs t tchrs, drct rcl pthts t thr chldrn, r vn jst spk whnvr thy pls. Ths, th d f “fr spch” n schl s nn-strtr (ntrstngly, sclrsts hv n trbl ccptng tht frdm f rlgn n schls s nn-strtr).
Yt, s s s cmmn tdy, th crt stll stmbls bdly n ts rsnng. s t ths, cll yr ttntn t tw f ts prnncmnts. Mryclr Dl f th P rprts n thm, wrtng:
Th rd .S. Crct Crt f ppls sys th schl’s dcsn ds nt vlt Frst mndmnt rghts gvn th nnpblc ntr f th clssrm nd th tndr g f th chldrn.
Th mthr, Dnn Ky Bsch, rgs th stdnts hrd strs rltd t Pssvr, Chrstms nd thr rlgs hldys.
Th ppls crt sys thr s ‘sgnfcnt dffrnc’ btwn dntfyng ths hldys nd rdng frm Scrptr.
Ths rtnl dsn’t rflct dhrnc t cnstttnl prncpls — t rflcts jdcl ctvsm. ftr ll, th d tht th Fndrs nvr ntndd fr th Frst mndmnt t pply t mnrs n schls — smthng pntd t by Clvn Thms — s hrd-nd-fst cnstttnl prncpl; thr s n mbgty. Bt wht f th tlk bt “tndr g”? Hw ds th Cnstttn spk t xctly wht dgr f fr-spch rghts mnr s ffrdd nd wht h my b xpsd t t gvn g? s thr srt f Frst mndmnt sldng scl?
bvsly, n sch frml cn b fnd n lw, whch mns tht t s jdgmnt cll. Bt th pwr t mk t rghtly ls wth lcl schl brds — whch cn rflct th wll f th ppl — nt mprs blck-rbd jrsts-cm-lgrchs. nd jdgs vrstp thr bnds whn thy ssm ths pwr fr thmslvs.
Th sm ppls t th slly prctc f dcrng frm th bnch wht rlgs lmnts r t “rlgs” t b n schls. t’s n thng t sy thr s n “sprtn f chrch nd stt” n th Frst mndmnt nd ths t’s p t lclts t dtrmn wht rlgs lmnts wll b llwd n thr pblc nstttns, s ths s crrct nd sly dntfbl cnstttnl prncpl. ( shld mntn tw thngs hr. Frst, ths wld hv sn th sclrsts’ wll dn n th Clbrtsn cs, nywy. Scnd, ths chrry-pckng f ds nd cncptns f mrls s wht schls lwys d. Why nsttt mltcltrlsm nstd f mncltrlsm? Why fmnsm nstd f trdtnl sx rls? Why lbrtn sx dctn nstd f bstnnc? t s gn cs f th sclrsts’ skptcsm bt vls bng rsrvd fr thr ppl’s vls.) nstd, hwvr, th Thrd .S. Crct hs dptd th cmmn jrsts’ rtnlztn tht snc hly dys sch s Chrstms hv tkn n “sclr flvr,” thy hv plc n th pblc sqr. Yt ths s th ptm f hbrs. Thy nw wll tll s nt nly wht mnrs my sy nd hr t wht g nd whr, bt ls wht rlgs lmnts r n lngr rlgs!
s fr th lmd hmsxl crrclm, t s spks fr tslf tht n xplntn f ts trgsnss lmst sms grtts. Ths, nsfr s ths gs, ’m tmptd t prphrs Ls rmstrng’s thghts n hw t ply jzz nd sy “f y hv t sk, y’ll nvr knw.” Yt wld lk t xpnd n vry smpl pnt md by Bbby brl t Th Lft. H wrts, “Whthr w r tlkng bt ‘gy’ sss r ‘strght’ sss, t s smply npprprt t tlk bt thm wth lmntry schl chldrn. Thy r CHLDRN! Thy r n schl t lrn hw t rd, wrt, spll, nd bsrb bsc fcts tht wll llw thm t lrn vn mr ltr. Thy r NT n schl t b sbjcts f sm lft-wng gnd!”
Ths smpl cmmn-sns pnt rss qstn: wr t nt fr th pwr f th pnk hrds, wld w srsly cnsdr brchng sx-rltd sss wth chldrn stll sprtng bby tth? t’s dbl stndrd tht mch rmnds m f th Gn Rbnsn cs. s sm f y my rmmbr, Rbnsn ws th pn-hmsxl pscpln prst wh ws lvtd t bshp dspt hvng lft hs fmly t b wth mn. Th mv ws hld s blw fr qlty nd “tlrnc,” nd th pltclly-crrct stryln ws n f mn brv ngh t b hmslf nd chrch brv ngh t ccpt hm. Yt th rl stry ws n f ppl s brft f prncpl tht thy ppld sttnl vls. Wht mn s, wld Rbnsn hv bn ldd hd h lft hs wf nd fmly fr nthr wmn? Wld h hv vn bn cnsdrd fr bshp? Wld w hv bn ccstd wth blthr bt hw h ws bng tr t hmslf? (“Hy, ths s wh m: n dltrr. mn, gvn r ‘vltnry pth,’ thr hs t b gn fr t.”) Bt, f crs, whthr t’s th pscplns r lmd, thr r n dbl stndrds whn yr vls chng wth th wnd.
Yt try t b mr prncpld. S, wll sm p my tttd twrd ths schl dstrcts wth th G.K. Chstrtn ttlgy, “Hvng th rght t d smthng s nt t ll th sm s bng rght n dng t.” Ths, spprt ths schls’ lgl rght t b s stpd s thy wsh, vn f bhr th stpdty tslf. f crs, mrl rghts r dffrnt mttr ntrly. Bt f r plcs wr gvrnd by tht hghst lw, mst f r dctrs wldn’t b n th schls n th frst plc.
No. We’re still working in oil shale covered midget lesbians playing with electric trains.
OK, fuck a bunch of this. I move cut-n-pasta troll be banned.
Cut and paste troll cuts and pastes stupid shit.
THIRD millennium? You’re off by about six million millenia there, Ms. Duke.
By Rchrd Bhr
Why s Brck bm spndng s mch tm fcsng n srl sttlmnts n th Wst Bnk? Tw thghtfl xplntns f th wdnng dspt n th sttlmnts ss hv bn dvlpd by Dr Gld nd Grg Frdmn.
Wht s clr s tht bm hs chsn t pck fght wth srl. Frdmn rgs bm hs chsn hs fght crflly, n n ss n whch th Jwsh cmmnty bth n srl nd th S s splt, nd thrfr rsstnc wll b wkr. Th qstn f crs s why? s t bcs bm blvs h wll nw gt mr spprt n th Mslm wrld fr S ctns n rq nd fghnstn f h pprs t b cttng srl ls? Hw lkly s ths? Wht knd f spprt n ch cntry ds bm xpct t gt f nly srl frz sttlmnt grwth? Cld t b tht th plcy ppl rnd bm ctlly blv rsltn f th srl Plstnn cnflct s wthn rch f nly sttlmnt ctvty wr ttlly frzn? hv trbl blvng ths lvl f nïvté xsts n th dmnstrtn, gvn th nmbr f ppl wh hv bn nvlvd n fld pc prcssng ffrts vr th lst fw dcds.
thnk th rl ky t ndrstndng th plcy shft s th lnkg th dmnstrtn hs ld t btwn srl Plstnn ngttns (whch th dmnstrtn s rgng dpnds lmst xclsvly n n srl hlt t sttlmnt ctvty) nd th ffrt t prvnt rn frm bcmng nclr pwr. t s my blf tht th bm tm hs thrwn n th twl n stppng rn frm gttng nclr wpns. bm wll nvr s mltry frc fr ths, nd th dmnstrtn’s nw nggmnt pprch sms t hv bn dvlpd s f w hd ll th tm n th wrld t rch n grmnt wth rn.
S n rdr t prvd n xcs fr th dmnstrtn’s flr t stp rn, thy wll mk srl th rsn fr ths hppnng– srl rfsd t stp sttlmnt ctvty. Th Plstnns wr thn nbl t rch dl wth srl. nd S lls n th rb wrld wrld, nd n rp s wll s Rss nd Chn, wr thn nwllng t prssr rn wth stppd p snctns t stp ts nclr prgrm. S t s ll srl’s flt.
Th bm tm cn thn hp fr th srls t b dsgstd ngh wth th pr stt f srl’s rltns wth th S nd rn’s nw nclr rlty tht thy thrw Ntnyh t f ffc. Thn mr cmplnt srl prm mnstr cn tk vr, nd gv wy th Wst Bnk t th P fr nthng.
Wht s prtclrly dsgstng s tht tw crt Jws n th dmnstrtn — Rhm mnl nd Dvd xlrd — ppr t b th prmry frcs ncrgng bm t stck t t srl . Thy hv clcltd tht mrcn Jws r s blndly lbrl, nd n rptr t th lmghty bm tht bm cn psh srl rnd wtht dng dmg t hs stndng n th Jwsh cmmnty.
Sdly thy my b rght n thr ssssmnt. Whr r th mjr Jwsh rgnztns t psh bck? Whr r th Jwsh Dmcrts n th Snt nd Hs chllngng Prsdnt f thr wn prty whn h slls t srl? gss tht wld rqr spn.
t s ls sd t s Hllry Clntn, wh mny f s thght wld b mch bttr n S srl rltns thn bm drng th cmpgn lst yr, trnng nt th lyl wrrr fr bm n ths nttv, knfng srl t vry pprtnty. Sh hs gn bck t th ftr, nd w cn s hr gn hggng nd kssng Sh rft ftr th Plstnn frst ldy trshd srl n spch Clntn ttndd yrs bck. t ws sy fr hr t ply th übr Znst s Sntr n Nw Yrk, nd n hr nd t crrl Jwsh cmpgn csh fr hr fld Prsdntl rn. Hr lylty t th S srl rltnshp s s thn nw s t ws n th rly s.
Thr s frth pssblty — tht bm smply wnts t b lvd by th Mslm msss rnd th glb. H hs dtrmnd tht sprtng th S frm ts lng hstrc cls frndshp wth srl s smll prc t py t chv ths. t s frghtnng t cnsdr tht th crrnt plcy shft mght b ccrrng fr nrcssstc rsns nd nt strtgc ns. Frnk Gffny sggsts tht thr my b smthng t ths rgmnt, n tht bm s trnsfrmng hmslf nt mrc’s frst Mslm Prsdnt, mch s Bll Clntn ws hld s th frst blck n.
Rgrttbly fr srl, nn f ths s lghng mttr.
Y’can’t have one without the oooooooother!
By Gry Jsn
n bsnss thcs, th typcl wy n mks jdgmnt bt th mrlty f bsnss ctn r prctc s t cnsdr th fcts srrndng t n th lght f fr mjr thcl prspctvs. Ths fr thcl thrs hv bn th ns cnsdrd mst plsbl n vr tw mllnn f mrl phlsphy.
Th frst prspctv s th ntrl rghts vw, r wht wll cll th () rghts prspctv. Ths vw jdgs n ctn r prctc by skng whthr t flws frm th rghts f ths dng t, nd mr mprtntly, f t vlts th rghts f thrs.
Th scnd prspctv s th (B) cnsstncy prspctv. Ths vw jdgs n ctn r prctc by skng wht wld hppn f t wr dn r prctcd by vryn, nt jst ths nvlvd n ths sttn. t s th vw xprssd by th Gldn Rl, rl cmmn t mst mjr rlgns.
Th thrd prspctv s th (C) vrt prspctv. Ths vw sks whthr th ctn r prctc crrpts r nhncs ppl’s chrctrs.
Th frth prspctv s th (D) tltrn prspctv. Ths vw lks t th cnsqncs tht wll lkly flw frm th ctn r prctc, nd jdgs t rght t th dgr ths cnsqncs r th bst fr scty vr th lng trm.
wll rg tht th nprcdntd ctn by th crrnt dmnstrtn n mnpltng th bnkrptcs f Chryslr nd GM, nd n ffct ntnlzng th cmpns, s grgsly nthcl by vry n f ths mjr thcl prspctvs. Fr ths rsn, blv tht ths ctn mks t mrlly mprtv fr mrcns t byctt ths sclzd cmpns.
Cnsdr frst th fcts. n ths tw css, rthr thn lt th fr mrkt nd th lgl systm (spcfclly, th bnkrptcy crt) hndl th rrgnztn f th flng t mkrs n th nrml wy, th bm dmnstrtn spnt tns f bllns n txpyrs’ dllrs t tk cntrl f th cmpns nd frc th tcm t wntd. bm, wh rcvd mllns n cntrbtns frm th ntd t Wrkrs nn, hs frcd sttlmnt tht wll gv W fr mr qty n th cmpns whn thy cm t f bnkrptcy thn t ws d cmprd t th scrd dbt hldrs.[] bm’s gnts sd thrts nd ntmdtn (cllng hldt bndhldrs spcltrs nd hdg fnds t n pnt) t gt th crdtrs t ccpt bng shftd. (WSJ.cm //)Th rslt s tht th vst mjrty f th tw cmpns wll b lmst clrly wnd by th fdrl gvrnmnt nd th W, nd th W rgbly cntrls th fdrl gvrnmnt.
Th rslt s drnchd n rny. Th W ws mjr rsn why th cmpns ht th wll, nd nw th W wll b rwrdd wth mjr cntrl nd wnrshp. t s s f rp vctm wr frcd t mrry hr rpst. Th rslt mks th crny cptlsm w sw n Rss lk cln by cmprsn; t, t lst, ws knd f cptlsm.
Ths sttn s thclly rpgnnt frm vry prspctv. Cnsdr th fcts frm th () rghts prspctv. Th scrd crdtrs’ rghts t jst sttlmnt hv bn cmpltly vltd. nd ths bndhldrs, dspt th dfmtn f bm nd hs myrmdns, r nt jst sllss cptlst spcltrs. Thy ncld rglr flk, ys, nd vn sm vn bl cllr wrkrs, wh hld ths ssts s prt f thr rtrmnt prtfls. (WSJ.cm //). t ls ncldd tchr nd plc pnsn fnds, nd stt nfrstrctr cnstrctn fnds. (WSJ.cm //)
Th rghts f ll th stkhldrs t th cmptng cr cmpns hv bn vltd s wll. Thr wrkrs, stckhldrs, nd mngrs wll nw b cmplld t py txs tht wll fnd thr cmpttrs. Cnsmrs f thr cr cmpns wll wnd p pyng txs t bld th vry crs thy chs nt t by. nd txpyrs wth n hlth nsrnc wll py t mntn th swt hlth bnfts f W mmbrs.
Frm th (B) cnsstncy prspctv, th ntnlztn f Chryslr nd GM sms bvsly wrng. By sng hs pltcl pwr, bm hs frcd th bnkrptcy crt t pt sd lngstndng sttld prncpls, spclly th rl tht scrd crdtrs gt prrty n rcvng ssts frm dfnct ntty. Wrs yt, bm bsd hs pwr t bnft hs spprtr nd bnfctr, th W. Wht f vry prsdnt dd ths srt f thng? Wld ny lgl systm tht gv ctzns ql prtctn ndr th lw vn b pssbl? Hrdly.
Frm th (C) vrt prspctv, gn w s tht th ntnlztn s nccptbl. t wll crrpt nns nd bsnsss lk, by ldng thm t ngtt bvsly nsstnbl cntrcts, sf n th knwldg tht by pyng ff th pls th fdrl gvrnmnt wll stp n t sv thm frm th cnsqncs f thr dshnsty.
Fnlly, frm th (D) tltrn prspctv, th frcd ntnlztn f th t ndstry s nthcl. W r sng jst th strt f th ngtv cnsqncs tht wll flw frm ths ct f sttst hbrs.
T strt wth th bvs, vn thgh bm dns tht h wll mng th cmpns, w hv ll lrnd by nw tht h hs n prblm dng th vry thng h s dnyng. (n rdnry lf ths pltcl rtflnss s clld lyng). H frd n C, frcd Chryslr t ccpt Ft (WSJ.cm //), tld GM tht t cnnt mv ts hdqrtrs t f Dtrt (WSJ.cm //), nd my hv rdrd tht whvr bys GM’s rpn t mkr pl mst gr nt t xprt crs t th .S.. (WSJ.cm //) Ths dcsns wr md n scrt wth n Cngrssnl vrsght, by mn wth n trnng r xprnc f ny knd n bsnss, nvr mnd th t bsnss.
Th cmpns wll b rn by pltcns, wh wll mk dcsns fr th bnft f pltcl gnds rthr thn n snd bsnss prncpls. Th rslt wll b tht th t cmpns nd th nn wll nt mk th dp chngs rqrd t mk th cmpns prftbl, s w cn ntcpt mny mr csh nfsns.
Wrs yt, w cn frs tht nw tht th W nd fds hv cntrl f Chryslr nd GM, thy wn’t stp thr. Thr ntrl nstnct wll b t chv mnplstc cntrl. Th W hs hlpd drv Chryslr nd GM t th wll nd s nw c-wnr wth th gvrnmnt f mst f th qty. Thy wll lkly nxt trgt Frd, t gt qty wnrshp f t. Thn lk fr th W nd th dmnstrtn t cntrls t ttmpt t frc th mplys f frgn t mkrs n ths cntry t jn th W, r s nvrnmntl nd thr rgltry lws t pt ths cmpns t f bsnss.
Bt th ngtv cnsqncs wll sprd wll bynd th t ndstry. By s cnspcsly stffng th bndhldrs n fvr f hs pltcl spprtrs, bm hs md rsng cptl vstly mr dffclt. vry nvstr nw knws tht pst bnkrptcy lw mns nthng; f th Prsdnt s pd ngh by sm spcl ntrst grp, h wll rp ff th scrd dbt hldrs t stsfy hs spprtrs. Ths wll srly lwr th dmnd fr crprt bnds, ldng t lss cptl fr bsnss xpnsn, hnc fwr jbs.
W hv n ths dbcl n rnc llstrtn f wht th cnmst Frdrc Bstt wrnd s bt n hs clssc ssy, “Th Sn nd th nsn.” Wht bm hps w wll s r th thsnds f W jbs svd. Wht h knws w wn’t s r ll th jbs tht wll b lst r nt crtd bcs f hs dcttrl cndct.
Th ctznry nds t mk t clr ths ntnlztn wll nt b prmttd t sccd. W nd t byctt ths cmpns, nd tll ths rg dmnstrtn xctly wht w r dng. Th ltrntv s tht thy wll d ths gn.
I always take seriously journalists who refer to David Axelrod as a “court Jew.”
What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)
I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and NaDonna
Karan, they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’ fly
Brother I ain’t askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion’s,
I say no, but they keep givin’
So I keep on takin’
And no I ain’t taken
We can keep on datin’
I keep on demonstrating.
My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)
You love my lady lumps (love),
My hump, my hump, my hump (love),
My humps they got you,
She’s got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, up on me, on me
What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump (ha), my hump, my hump, my hump (what).
My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps (Check it out)
I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let’s spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.
They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can’t touch it,
If you touch it I’ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin’ got you,
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, up on me, on me.
What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon’ do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I’ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
BOOMARK IT, LIBS!
Where’d I put that trollbane? I know I left it around here somewhere…
*please note, the above ellipse is of the ominousest variety
Sometimes I imagine copy/paste trolls not copy/pasting, but actually typing in those long screeds from print-outs(dot matrix, no doubt), intently hunting and pecking keys for seeming ages, their brow deeply furrowed in a scowl of dim-witted concentration. Interestingly enough, were it true it wouldn’t make their efforts at bringing us the tl;dr any more pathetically sad.
A common liberal argument aimed at America’s free market economy and reinforced in President Obama’s budget proposal A New Era of Responsibility is that, over the last 25 years, the rich have gotten richer while the poor have gotten poorer. While this assertion should be of concern to anyone interested in domestic and economic policy, a critical examination of the data reveals the claim to be almost certainly spurious and uncovers an even more interesting question — what is the motivation for the current administration to propagate such a claim?
The following chart, produced by Thomas Piketty and Emmanuel Saez, and displayed in the President’s budget proposal, demonstrates that over the last 25 years, the share of income going to the top 1% has consistently increased and therefore, one must conclude the share going to everybody else has gotten smaller.
chart 1
This would seem to provide compelling evidence for the argument that in America’s free market economy “the rich get richer, while the poor get poorer.” This deserves a closer look.
Alan Reynolds, a senior fellow at the Cato Institute, has demonstrated that three major factors missing from the Picketty-Saez data, when included in the calculation, significantly reduce the apparent growing trend in income inequality. Reynolds argues that changes in the tax code, the large expansion of tax sheltered investments, and the growth of transfer payments to individuals can explain the growing trend in the Picketty-Saez data over the past 25 years.
According to Reynolds, “studies based on tax return data provide highly misleading comparisons of changes to the U.S. income distribution because of dramatic changes in tax rules and tax reporting in recent decades.” Since 1979, the highest marginal individual tax rate has been reduced from 70% to 35%, while over that same period the corporate tax rate for businesses making over $100,000 has been reduced only from 46% to 39%. This has led to a shift in individuals reporting income on corporate returns to reporting it on individual returns by filing as S-corporations.
Beside changes in the tax code, two major variables cancel out much of the remainder of the growth in income inequality. The first is the large expansion in tax sheltered investments like IRAs and 401(k)s. In 2007, there was an estimated 4.75 trillion dollars in these types of accounts, up from 400 billion 20 years earlier or an increase of nearly 1200%. The second variable is the growth in government transfer payments to individuals; which increased 214% during the same period (inflation adjusted). These variables are not accounted for in the Picketty-Saez data, because the majority of this money is not reported on income tax returns.
The Picketty-Saez data seems even more distorted when compared with the 2007 study published by the U.S. Department of the Treasury entitled, “Income Mobility in the U.S. from 1996 to 2005”, which tracked almost 100,000 tax returns over a 10-year period. The study found that, controlling for inflation, nearly 58% of the poorest income group in 1996 had moved to a higher income group by 2005; 26% achieved middle or upper-middle income status and more than 5% made it into the highest income group. For individuals initially starting in the middle income group, 42% had moved to the upper-middle (29.6%) and highest (12.5%) income quintiles. Of those starting in the highest income quintile, over 30% had moved down by the end of the study period.
chart 2
The study concluded that economic growth resulted in rising incomes for most taxpayers over the study period with the median incomes of all taxpayers increasing by 24% after adjusting for inflation. The only groups to experience a decline in income were those initially in the top 1% and the top 5% groups. The study found that there was substantial income mobility of individuals during the study period, which was unchanged from the previous decade. A major point of the study is that income mobility in the U.S. works down as well as up, a sign that opportunity and merit drive American success.
The validity of the Picketty-Saez data and arguments aimed at growing income inequality are crucial when considering the current administration’s plan to increase taxation on the highest earners to fund policy initiatives which will require a significant increase in government spending and intrusion into the private market. The plans to increase taxes only on the highest earners are especially remarkable considering the share of taxes the highest earners already pay.
chart 3According to 2008 IRS income statistics, the top 1% make 22% of income and pay 40% of total income taxes and the top 5% make 37% of income and pay 60% of total income taxes. The top 1, 5, 10, and 25% of wage earners pay a hugely disproportionate amount of taxes. This is the kind of data the current administration would like most Americans to remain ignorant of.
The bottom line, is that the policy initiatives being pursued by the current administration are expensive and will require huge expansions in government spending. To accommodate this spending the government will have to increase taxes. But consider this; could a politician advocate for a tax increase on the majority of the public and win – in any election? The answer is NO because regardless of the economic situation, the majority of individuals will always feel like they know how to spend their money better than the government does. However, could a politician advocate for a tax increase on a very small percentage of the public, argue it will be enough to finance spending that will benefit the majority, and win? The answer is clearly YES.
President Obama, using the recipe described above, repeatedly stated during his campaign that he would absolutely NOT raise taxes on anyone who makes less than the top 5% of earners — the ones supposedly getting richer while the rest of us were getting poorer. In reality, as presented by the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office in their analysis of the President’s budget, this solution of raising taxes on only the top 5% will not provide enough revenue to support the huge expansions he is proposing.
As you can see, the Obama administration’s budget (demarcated with the dotted lines) leaves revenue as a percent of GDP far too low to pay for the government services he is offering —
chart 4
and this already assumes the repeal of Bush’s tax cuts for the rich. His only option then is to raise taxes on the rich to a higher level but that mechanism won’t get him close to a balanced budget. Inevitably, he will need to institute a broad-based tax increase – an increase that if advocated for from the onset of his campaign, would have most likely resulted in an election defeat.
In The Constitution of Liberty, F. A. Hayek stated that, “It would probably be true…to say that the illusion that by means of progressive taxation the burden can be shifted substantially onto the shoulders of the wealthy has been the chief reason why taxation has increased as fast as it has done and that, under the influence of this illusion, the masses have come to accept a much heavier load than they would have done otherwise.”
The 1% Myth was a useful tool deployed by Liberals to make the majority of the American public feel like victims so they would vote for the candidate who offered them the prospect of seizing from the rich and redistributing to average Americans what rightfully belonged to them in the first place. It was a wonderful distraction to prevent the majority of the public from realizing that they were the real target all along.
While the data show that the public should not be overly concerned regarding growth in inequality, they should be extremely concerned about politicians willing to use invalid arguments like the 1% Myth to advance an agenda of increased government spending, taxation, and regulation that will almost certainly lead to economic stagnation, and a reduction in opportunity for ALL Americans.
Cut-&-paste troll is turning into denial-of-service attack.
a critical examination of the data reveals the claim to be almost certainly spurious and uncovers an even more interesting question — what is the motivation for the current administration to propagate such a claim?
Oddly enough, the situation was the same during the Clinton and Bush eras as well,
Obviously Clinton his TEH TROOOF ’cause he was a Commie socialist, but why would Bush?
Think about the hamsters!
“Lovely lady lumps.” Heh. Genius.
Copypasta – Breakfast Of Dipshits.
Looks liks someone’s all out of amputee-pr0n to fap to.
The makers of scroll-buttons are thankful for your service … but the rest of us just wish you’d get a fucking life.
By Robin of Berkeley
American Thinker’s recovering liberal learns the true meaning of conservatism
When I was a child I had a pretend best friend just like me. She looked like me, talked like me, and had the exact same interests. I named her Robin 2. (I also named my stuffed animals by their colors, i.e. Whitey, Greyey, Pinky; what can I say? I wasn’t the most creative of tots.) I must have been influenced by my favorite TV show, the Patty Duke Show. (For you young’uns, it was a wholesome show (they all were back then) about identical twin cousins, both played by the adorable Ms. Duke.) When my mom took me to the store, my friend came too. She’d sleep with me, eat with me, and keep me company when I was sad.
As I got older, I had live best friends, but none fulfilled the promise of Robin 2. My real friends and I would get into nasty fights and not talk for days. Girls can be so cruel; I remember a group ganging up on me and starting an “I Hate Robin Club” replete with posters and banners. Luckily it didn’t last (though, given that I still remember it, clearly the trauma did). Even as I got older, I still maintained the fantasy of having a sister type of best friend who, unlike my real older brother, wasn’t making ruining my life her raison d’etre.
Last week, on a grey day when I was home nursing a cold, I thought about old Robin, about how nice it would be to have a best friend I could really talk to. I’d been feeling a bit sorry for myself lately being a conservative in Berkeley. My friends adore Obama; my clients talk excitedly about him all the time; even the random stranger in front of me at the supermarket is talking up Obama. So it’s all Obama, all the time, and I feel like crawling under a rock. I don’t dare reveal my true feelings since I don’t want my clients to run screaming from my office or to have another friend throw me under the bus.
My husband is a type of best friend in a way that a guy can be (when I’m upset or sad he goes and fixes something). But he has no idea what planet I’ve just returned from, politically speaking. For example, he recently told me he heard Obama speak and that, ” Obama has a great sense of humor.” I repeat: the man said, Obama, o-b-a-m-a, the man with the thinnest skin on the planet, has a great sense of humor. Stunned into silence, I finally sputtered, “I guess we have different presidents,” and he agreed, looking at me perturbed, as though I had just said, “An alien kidnapped me last night and impregnated me with his love child.” So let’s just say my man and I are still close but we avoid politics and both think the other is delusional.
A little loopy from the Nyquil, I wondered what would be the harm of a middle aged, newby conservative resurrecting her childhood pretend friend. (Yes I know it’s weird, but people in downtown Berkeley chat with their invisible buds all the time.) Bored with Oprah and Ellen, I decided to envision a reunion with Robin 2.
me: It’s so great to see you!
robin 2: Right back at you! Girl, you look fantastic.
me: You too. You haven’t changed one bit since I saw you.
robin 2: And I have never seen anyone, anywhere age as seamlessly as you.
It was great having Robin 2 back! She was fun, lively, supportive. She was, in fact, me!
me: I have missed you so much. There’s no one like you.
robin 2: So what’s been up with you all these years?
me: Oh, sis, it’s been a wild ride. I live in this insane area and I’m a psychotherapist, and I was politically Left all my life but recently turned Right. It’s a bit dizzying to talk about.
2: Wow, you really changed. What happened?
me: It’s a long story but basically this really angry scary dude Obama ran for president and he and his cronies destroyed the competition and they continue to mow down anyone who gets in their way. I couldn’t go with the program so I read about conservatism, and it was totally different than I thought. It’s about values, and morality, and love of country.
2: Sounds a little old fashioned and stodgy.
me: Not at all! Actually, liberals with their insistence on being politically correct at all costs are the uptight ones. Conservatives value individual freedom.
2: I don’t know. It just doesn’t sound young and cool and with it.
me: (with annoyance) Robin 2, we are not young and cool. We are no spring chickens, and it is time to grow up and take our place as society’s elders.
2: (sarcastically) I don’t think so.
me: It’s natural to become more pragmatic and logical as we get older, and less driven by emotions.
2: I think we can change the world.
me: I used to believe this, but then, I finally got it. Only God can do the changing. When humans try, it turns into arrogance, social control, even fascism.
2: But we have to hope! We have to believe!
me: Robin 2, what in the world has happened to you? I invented you. You are my twin. But you are not like me at all. You are (I gasped) Obatomized!
Then I noticed it. The girl had snuck in a gallon of Kool Aid, and was drinking wildly, madly. Just like we used to sneak in weed and boys when we were teens, the rascal had brought in some Obama love potion #9.
And when she uttered these words, I knew the gig was up, “And anyway I think Obama is hecka cool. I just love the brother. He’s all about love and hope and joy. And, the cat has a great sense of humor.”
In an instant, I knew what what I had to do. I had to say goodbye to my old friend. The image of unconditional love was fading as fast as the effects of the Nyquil. But just then, I had an epiphany. Why do I need people to mirror me anyway? Why this relentless focus on what others think of me? Could it be just some throwback from decades of liberalism, the Kumbaya image of eternal love?
I say I’m a conservative who believes in individual freedom. But being a conservative isn’t just spouting words. It means being a free individual, getting off of my high horse and standing on my own two feet.
Just then, I thought of a Far Side comic I kept in my drawer for years. A black lamb is beckoning to other, white, lambs to go in another direction. He cries out, “We don’t have to be just sheep.” And I got it: when you have the truth of your convictions, you must sometimes stand alone. Perhaps this is one of the definitions of maturity: to stand upright and separate from the herd, even if you end up being the black sheep.
“We don’t have to be just sheep.” Perhaps that’s my cry, the battle cry of all of us conservatives who do not want to become sheep, who refuse to take the Obama pledge and do the Obama salute and worship at the altar of Obama.
So given the choice between pleasing everyone and freedom, I choose the latter. I may not win any popularity contests anytime soon. But maybe that’s not the point of this one short, precious life.
reactionary geezer attacks museum. one of the good guys is killed.
Free Republic’s First Inclination Is To Cover Its Own Ass.
Why do leftists insist on politicizing shootings?
ScroLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
TroLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I’m waiting for TinTin’s blockbuster hit, La Femme NiK-Lo
“La Femme NiK-Lo”
Eh, it was better than Instapundit of No Return.
“Is it payback time? Heh… indeed.”
Watch the whole thing, this summer.
That fucking idiot is all proud that it finally mastered which keyboard shortcuts do he cutnpaste.
It only took him a few months. For a deranged (AKA, all of them) wingnut, that earns a Pedophile’s* C+
* (no Gentlemen in the GOP, just pedophiles)
I haven’t got time for the copy & paste pain. Seriously, that’s as good a reason to ban something as any.
But on to Debbie CrazyCakes, & her rationalizations for today’s terrist attack: The Muzzies!! (Did you guess?)
So What if Holocaust Museum Shooter is White Christian: We Know Who Crescented, er . . . Created This Atmosphere; 9/11 Truther
Also:
How will they follow this amazing statement?
“We don’t have to be just sheep.”
Oh the irony it burns.
Copypasta troll is just unhinged with grief since his mentor/boyfriend/pimp Herr Von Brunn was taken into custody this afternoon.
Some mourn in silence, some howl with despair, some just troll the internet flinging poo.
“We don’t have to be just sheep.”
You are what you is.
Pardon me, but I can not possibly take seriously “Robin of Berkeley” while she posts behind a pseudonym. What a filthy, lousy rotten coward, hiding like that while biting decent people’s ankles!!
Not that there are no other reasons not to take her babble seriously.
Las gordas están de luto.
Suppose one of our most devout members has a child, and home schools him, and raises him in a bubble so that he never hears anything but Fox News and Rush, and the only book he reads is Liberal Fascism, and he gets daily injections of concentrated hate serum, and he is not permitted to leave the house until he is 25.
Now imagine that guy runs out and murders somebody. You know whose fault it is?
LIBERALS!!!!
I can no longer hide like a cowardly Communist pussy. I saw this name on a $2 Wal-Mart action DVD. My real name is Hawley Swenderton and I live at 1322 Forest Drive. I shower every night at 7:30, the siding is slightly chipped at the northwest corner of my house and my least favorite snake is a copperhead.
Until 9/11 and our resulting new tolerance for Islam, the neo-Nazi types were marginalized and howling at the wind.
Right, so now white supremicists have to win an equal level of sympathy by carrying out similarly heinous terrorist acts on US soil. Even now they are plotting ways to trick the military into invading Idaho so that the liberal fools will protest when they are being tortured.
Fools! Protests! Soon they will have everything they need!
I shower every night at 7:30
I know, I know. Buy some drapes, or a nice venetian blind, will you?
My favorite snake is the boomslang, just ’cause it’s so much fun to say.
I like garter snakes, but surprisingly enough they are absolute crap at keeping stockings up.
I like garter snakes, but surprisingly enough they are absolute crap at keeping stockings up.
That reminds me of the problem I had a few years ago with Milk Snakes.
You have to blend ’em just right.
You have to blend ‘em just right.
You must mean Malked Milk Snakes.
you forgot the S in the movie title.
Even shorter Ed Whelan: “Apology aside, I’m still a huge asshole.”
#
Righteous Bubba said,
June 11, 2009 at 2:10
That reminds me of the problem I had a few years ago with Milk Snakes.
You have to blend ‘em just right.
I trust another awesome recipe is on the way. Hurry, please. I’m hungry.