Dep’t of crosssing ‘i’s and dotting ‘t’s
Posted on January 3rd, 2006 by Gavin M.
Or whatever, something like that.
Once again, as the days roll by, we’re reminded that no one has yet conceived a joke using the term, ‘Jack Abramoff,’ such as in the following construction:
“You can ________, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.”
This is in our opinion a serious omission in the left-blogosphere’s coverage of the case, and we hope it can be remedied with due alacrity.
First! Woo hoo! How about:
You can get Jack in the Box but you can’t get Jack Abramoff. What do I win?
You can Yakov Smirnoff, but you can’t Jack Abramoff?
I’m flying blind here.
This calls for Yosef!
You can wank Swank…but you can’t jack Abramoff.
I’m here all weekend.
You can’t jack ABBA off, but you can Jack Abramoff.
That’s not factually correct…
REVISED:
You can jack off to ABBA, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
Certainly not if you are using a pork snorkel. That’s not kosher.
It’s better to Jack abram on than Jack Abramoff.
And don’t forget your waitresses.
Hi, I’m Abram. Have there been any messages for me?
…Oy!
Chimpy can pardon Delay but he can’t Jack Abramoff.
i always thought the ‘Abram’ was silent.
I sure hope not. That would be unfortunate.
You can Jack Abramoff or you can give him the finger.
dtestd- SHOCKER!
I think mr. x wins this one. A subtle, one might even say nuanced, jape.
What I find amazing (or maybe not so much) is the depth, solidity and profundity of the silence emanating from the wingers in regard to the Abramoff scandal. Why, it’s almost as if they don’t want to talk about it at all!
You can Dick Cheney, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
Works as well with Lugar, Durbin, etc.
You can Mary Bono, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
Or on a flip:
You can Doolittle, John, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
You can Johnson, Tim, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
You can Wyden, Ron, but you can’t Jack Abramoff. (My personal favorite; pervert that I am.)
Obscure:
You can Barak Obama, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
And last but not least, for the bad spellers:
You can Ram Emanuel, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
You can fire a Gannon, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
?
You can Nancy Pelosi, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
You can Boxer, Barbara, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
You can Rick (“Dick”) Santorum, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
You can Blunt, Roy, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
You Gore, Al or Tipper, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
My God… it does go with everything!
I ain’t touchin’ this one with teh l4m3’s flaccid wiener.
How about…
“You can jack your phone, and you can jack your car, but you can’t Jack Abramoff”
This reminds me of the days of the settlers and that uber-useful saying they had: “You can steal from the Indians, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.”
Nicely done, Yosef. Scaramouche put in a nice effort, too.
I have to vote for Jeff and the Dick Cheney joke. It really flows.
A priest , a minister , a rabbi , a traveling salesman , a doctor , a lawyer , Jack Abramoff, a midget, and a guy with a monkey on his shoulder walk into a bar. The bartender says “what is this , some kind of joke.”
Marq: It ain’t flaccid right now, bitch.
art yosef. art.
You can’t Marie Jon’, but you can Jack Abramoff.
Ooh–promises, promises!
If you’re a Democratic Senator, you can go fuck yourself but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
Sadly, we’re all too late. Slate author Timothy Noah went to high school back in 1975, and called J.A. “Abraham Jackoff”. http://www.slate.com/id/2117520/
As Noah points out, it was not the proudest moment in his life. On the other hand, he was 17. And he was most probably not the first to coin that pseudo-witticism.
Perhaps Abramoff will cop the plea that he’s had to bear this moniker all his life, forcing him into sleazy backroom deals. I bet John Hinderacker would sympathize.
Combining Jeff’s Dick Cheney & Mary Bono:
You can Mary Cheney, but you can’t Jack Abramoff.
Feeling Fristy? Don’t Delay! Jack Abramoff Today!
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