A Boomerang Is Not A Bomb-Delivery Device
Debbie Schlussel is all over a televison anchorwoman in Detroit, who hasn’t been to law school like Debbie has and who fell for a juvenile prank where someone wrote to the TV station and asked her to mention the 69th birthday of “Eaton Beaver.”
I debated whether I should post this video of the brainless local TV anchors in Detroit getting punked and p3wned in the most low-class and tasteless of ways. But I’ve decided to post it to point out, yet again, how easy the mainstream media are fooled into repeating anything they’re fed without using the tiniest of fact-checking, or in this case, common sense and brains. You didn’t have to be Einstein to catch this filthy prank.
Funny you should mention fact-checking, common sense and brains, Debbiecakes, after only just hours before you ran this:
The other day we all heard news that pitch Black actor Jamie Foxx (slave name: Eric Bishop) is being seriously considered to play Frank Sinatra in a bio-flick about “Old Blue Eyes.”
And so, in this vein, when I read that, yesterday, DreamWorks Studios announced plans for the “first big-screen portrayal of the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.,” I was thinking of who should have a serious shot of playing him.
And I was thinking–of course!–it should be . . . OWEN WILSON. After all, we’ve moved beyond the race thing. And who better to play Dr. King than the very blond, very pale White Owen Wilson.
I mean, after all, Wilson looks as much like King as Foxx looks like Sinatra.
Well, after a few seconds doing some fact-checking with Teh Gazoogle, it appears that this laughably improbable story about the Sinatra film is not only laughably improbable but also, well, completely wrong and, better yet, the result of an obvious joke. The website Gawker made a funny about having Jamie Foxx play Frank Sinatra. The Telegraph, a right-wing British fish wrapper, completely fell for the joke and printed it as an example of U.S.political correctness run amok, adding for good measure a few of its own fabricated details. And Frau Schlüsselstöllen, fresh from upbraiding the Em-Ess-Em for for repeating anything it was fed without the tiniest of fact-checking, fell for this ridiculous nonsense from a wingnut newspaper faster than a local newscaster could offer birthday congrats to Eaton Beaver, Connie Lingus, and Jack Inhof. As they say, you don’t have to be Einstein . . .
I know just what she means. My cousin’s brother-in-law says there’s a rumor that gay Kevin Spacey will portray straight Bobby Darin. Why can’t he stick to playing only gay people, like Lex Luthor?
You forgot to page “Mike Hunt” at the airport.
I rule!!!
Whuh…hang on a second…Debbie DIDN’T speculate that the anchorwoman was a mooslim? You’re yanking my chain right?
Ah. Schlebbie Dussel rides again.
Ah, making fun of the scolds is the best. Maybe it’s just because I was lectured at five days a week with this sort of crap in French class in Texas public high school. But man, I hate these assholes.
Oh no! A joke name about oral secks! Society will collapse!
But they can’t spare a tear when an actual tragedy occurs. And they can’t find right from wrong when actual moral problems emerge. “Well, torture … is it really torture? They’re keeping us safe. Blart blart blart … OMG! Dirty name on the news! Shame!”
Vile slander! British restaurants are much too concerned with public health and sanity to wrap any of their edible fish products in the Telegraph.
how easy the mainstream media are fooled into repeating anything they’re fed without using the tiniest of fact-checking, or in this case, common sense and brains
c.f. yellowcake, WMDs we found ’em, Mission Accomplished, Jessica Lynch, Pat Tillmann, Fallujah, Bilal Hussien, the Palestine Hotel, Afghan wedding parties, Shock & Awe, and various “terror plots” around the 2002-2004 time frame.
As joke names go, that one’s pretty lame. It doesn’t scan.
Um, fail? Strangely enough, this pathetic attempt at leet-speak seems to be a right-wing thing.
This failtastic attempt at leet-speak seems to be a thing on right-wing blogs. Duh…?
Also, FYWP
c.f. yellowcake, WMDs we found ‘em, Mission Accomplished, Jessica Lynch, Pat Tillmann, Fallujah, Bilal Hussien, the Palestine Hotel, Afghan wedding parties, Shock & Awe, and various “terror plots” around the 2002-2004 time frame.
Remain calm. Buy duct tape.
these photoshops are killing…
Maybe she needs to hire the services of noted ombudsman Dick Hertz.
Also get some plastic sheeting. And swing buy that bakery and pick up some of that Schlüsselstöllen. You know, The Cake that Hates How Much Fun You Have(tm).
You know, The Cake that Hates How Much Fun You Have(tm)
“Bitte, ein Stuck von Schluesselscheissestoellen!”
(sorry if mah rusty Deutsche offends)
Maybe she needs to hire the services of noted ombudsman Dick Hertz.
Is he as good as Mustapha Vanc?
A pity that she didn’t directly quote the author of the Telegraph piece about the Sinatra biopic, Juan Hugh Jorgan.
Debbie S. is my go-to girl for stupidity.
Thanks for the photo, but in this case, an unretouched pic of Debbie is plenty comedy for me. The photoshopping is almost overkill.
God, I love Sadly, No!
Don’t forget the name I used to sign on the attendance sheets when we had a substitute teacher: Dick Gazinya.
What was the name of that Michigan family that had sextuplets?
Oh, that’s right; the Palms. Let’s see, there’s Rosy…
Darn. Can’t remember her five sisters’ names.
If only people who have enoyed sex were to write about the experience
How the world would yearn
For a moment to reflect on the seriousness of such deep matters
Thankfully we have no such restrictions
So we are obligated to overlook fundimental evidence
in lieu of serious speculation upon the fate of
Shoes (Shuzzles ?)–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.
Maybe her blog would be interested in a sponsorship deal from Dickens Cider
“There’ll be no more jokes about your name, Mr. Glasscock!”
I agree with Ms. Schlussel. This was low-class and tasteless.
“History of the Yellow River” by Hugh Rhine
Everyone jokes, but has anyone asked Haywood about how it feels to be made fun of for a silly name? Mr. Jablomie’s life has been ruined by you people. You should be ashamed!
Ms. Schlussel, you have a telegram from Major Woody.
Juan Hugh Jorgan
I happen to have a very good friend in Rome named Juan Hugh Jorgan.
Dr. Rosenpenis is not amused.
Hey, they’re completely different things. One was funny, and one wasn’t.
I wonder if she lives in Morning Wood Condominiums?
(cf. “Office Space“)
Ms. Schlussel, you have a telegram from Major Woody.
Could you ask Master Bates to hand-deliver it?
I think it’s hilarious Debbie’s petard self-hoisting came because she’s in high dudgeon that a DARK-SKINNED PERSON might be portraying a famous white guy. I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall when she read that, I bet it took twenty minutes to get the foam off her chin before she could dash off her screed. Debbie, you pathetic racist moron, Jamie Foxx is a better actor than Owen Wilson anyway.
Ms. Schlussel, you have a telegram from Major Woody.
Could you ask Master Bates to hand-deliver it?
Not to quibble, but I’d be quite surprised if Little Debbie had ever had a telegram, or any other sort of how-do-you-do, from Major Woody.
I happen to have a very good friend in Rome named Juan Hugh Jorgan.
Does he live in the same block as Biggus Dickus and his wife, Incontinentia Buttocks?
How many blue-eyed blond Aryans have played Jesus, or served as a model for speculative portraits of a man who (if he existed at all) would certainly have looked more like Yassir Arafat than Ted Neeley? Would she object to Owen Wilson playing Jesus?
From Debbie’s comments, someone even more clueless than she:
You nailed this one Debbie. Where the hell do you pick up these scoops anyway?
Answer: from out of her ass.
First!
Zed
Wait a minute, I thought the recognized expert on the Yellow River was I. P. Freely?
All this, and yet nothing–NOTHING–from Phil McCracken.
Sadly No…ship of fools
Matt: If Debbie didn’t hoist herself, no one would hoist her.
I’m looking for Gerald Fitzpatrick.
And in the spirit of Kentucky Fried Movie: “Enormous Genitals.”
Lil 5ebbie has been an unmending source of fun since I first heard her years ago on Howard Sterns’ old radio show. – thought she was just some goofy stand-up doing stupid bimbette schtick, but, oh no, it was kosher as gefilte fish at the rabbi’s house. I’ve been hooked like heroin since, can’t get enough of that funky stuff.
Hello, this is Hugh Jass
Uh, hi
Who’s this?
Bart Simpson
What can I do for you, Bart?
Uh, look, I’ll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta backfired and I’d like to bail out right now.
All right. better luck next time
How low class of anyone to go under the name “Eaton Beaver”.
I speak for the whole Jablomey clan, including my brother Wyden, when I say that is utterly distasteful. Sounds like something only the lowest of st00pid gutter punk bitchiz would do.
Boy, did I fuck that up- “5ebbie” for “Debbie”, “unmending” for “unending”. Goddam Blackberry, tiny buttons, harumph-harumph
Wait – “p3wned”?
PWN3D!
In the early 80’s some repig was running for Gov in Michigan. His real, actual name was Richard Headlee.
We never got tired of saying to each other, “Vote for DICK HEAD (shift to whisper) lee!”
“I’m looking for Gerald Fitzpatrick”
He’s hanging out with Paddy O’Furniture.
That reminds me: I heard Kevin Spacey is to play Jack Abramoff.
What, no love for Natalie Attired? Ivana Layou? Tyrone Shoelaces?
Boy, did I fuck that up- “5ebbie” for “Debbie”
Oh good, I thought 5ebbie was some kind of joke I wasn’t getting.
The sad, disappointed look on Debbie’s face in that photo reflects her realization that the TidyBowl Man is a fictional character.
The chairman of the Colorado Republican Committee is, I shit you not, named Dick Wadhams. Swear to FSM.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Wadhams
I expect more from liberal humor sites.
Hmph.
I always liked the story from 2002 about a couple of kids who were picked up by the police for pranking their local airport into paging “Terry Wrist” and “Osama B. Laden”
Trusting the Torygraph again, huh Debbie? Never a good idea.
Talk about pwned!
I’m sure Debbie’s sorority sisters at I Phelta Thi are having a good laugh. Ditto the brothers at the Tappa Keg house.
Ditto the brothers at the Tappa Keg house.
Their full name is Tappa Kegga Bru.
I thought Eaton Beaver was the FBI informant on the temple bomb plot in NYC?
Hey, Debbie. Let your readers know about another casting scandal. Did you know that Ben Stiller cast a white guy, Robert Downey Jr., as a black man in the movie Tropic Thunder? Are you as outraged as I am?
I happen to have a very good friend in Rome named Juan Hugh Jorgan.
Well, when in Rome….it helps!
I’m very thankful none of you went with Wan Hong Low.
Thus saving it for me.
…and that’s what we call “ballin’ the jack”!
Hey, goober, that will be time well spent. And what a stunning revelation!
You liberals are in for a real surprise come 2010. According to a new gallop poll the Republican Party is now tied in membership with the Democrat Party.
And thanks to Obama and his far-left economic policies and appeasement of terrorism, Independents once again favor Republicans over Democrats. Expect to see a Republican landslide in the Congress during the mid-term elections.
Once we regain the majority, we will not make the same mistakes with regard to spending and immigration that we did during the Bush years. Many rinos will be booted out during the Republican primaries. Pat Toomey will defeat Arlen Spector, which will spell disastor for the dems because Snarlin Arlen was one of their bipartisan backstabbers.
Expect defeat libs, you will be overcome by the new Reagan Revolution.
dear s, n!:
it’s finals time and i haven’t been sleeping much at all and my life is not going to calm down until maybe next wednesday, maybe. last night i realized i didn’t have to get up until 9:30 (!!!) this morning and oh my gosh i was so excited.
and then i was awoken from a terrible dream about about a controlling and uncaring bureaucracy by a telephone call from the fifth representative of a controlling and uncaring bureaucracy with whom i’ve spoken in the past few weeks (about a problem that seriously complicates my life and that would not actually even be occurring if, oh, ANY OF THEM WOULD DO THEIR JOBS PROPERLY)…definitely before 9:30. not hours before, but just close enough to 9:30 that i couldn’t go back to sleep.
and oh man was i grumpy. hate-everything grumpy. searching for some way to salvage the first couple of hours of my day, moodwise, i came here. and, like so many times before, s.n! came through for me. wingnut mockery, lots of semi-obscene fake names, a simpsons quote…i love you people.
thank you.
-sarah
We’ve mined similar territory before.
And further down,
We never got tired of saying to each other, “Vote for DICK HEAD (shift to whisper) lee!”
An ex bf of mine went to school with a kid named Richard Head. He said that on the first day of tenth grade, the teacher was calling out names:
Teach: James Harman?
James: Here.
Teach: Do you go by Jim?
James: Yessir.
Teach: Richard Head? Dick?
Richard: No
Teach: What?
Richard: I prefer Richard.
Sadly, No! regulars say Blart sometimes. This is entirely unlike the upper-crust conversations that occur over at Ace of Spades.
This is central to goober’s point.
Ah, another delightful dose of Schlusselfreude.
C’mon everybody! We can’t leave out Jenny Talia!
Have you heard about the controversial new oriental soup?
Khumma sum yung gai.
Or her friend in Honolulu, Kamanawannaleia.
Those movie’s are an obvious cry for helping out ace’s logo again. I mean the guy could just ask, but it’s clear he doesn’t know how.
Khumma sum yung gai.
That’s not new, henry. I’m sure, for instance, that Pam Atlas and Ann Coulter both have that dish whenever they get Chinese food- whether they order it or no.
A Boomerang Is Not A Bomb-Delivery Device
We actually have many fine products of that nature. Let me show you a catalog.
I’m sure, for instance, that Pam Atlas and Ann Coulter both have that dish whenever they get Chinese food- whether they order it or no.
Me Chinese
Me play joke
Me put adulterants in your soda, goddamn sterotype-flogging gwailo moron.
ABOVE: Debbie Schlussel, blogging
Is that a Turkish bombsight? What in God’s name is Schlussel doing at a Turkish bombsight?
Ok, this can’t be right:
http://img188.imageshack.us/img188/715/cheneyyoudog.png
I have absolutely nothing to add to this juvenile thread.
See you at the racetrack!
So what does it say that not even the Democrat-controlled Congress would go along with Hopey’s plan to release the GITMO terrorists onto American soil?
It pretty much says that the loony liberals are in the minority, even in the Democrat Party.
Whozis plan to release the whatsits on where now?
Let us not forget that ultimate Dick Tracy villan, Harry Scrotum. (Thanks, National Lampoon, for an image that has been stuck in my brain for some 30 years or more.)
N.C., I think it was your turn to bake cookies for the GITMO terrorists. Are they done?
Have you heard about the controversial new oriental soup?
The British claim that it is from Egyptarabiturkindia, but the Americans insist that it is from Chinajapankorea.
Remember, Detroit is across the river from Canada. There probably is an Eaton Beaver in Windsor, or even more likely, beaver is on the menu somewhere in Ontario.
The Double Chocolate Chip with Preborn Brain Cookies are ready, but I’m still preheating the oven for the Red State Purloined Scrotum Bars with Rhubarb.
The Double Chocolate Chip with Preborn Brain Cookies are ready, but I’m still preheating the oven for the Red State Purloined Scrotum Bars with Rhubarb.
Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! Rhubarb??
Have you ever had plain Republican scrote?
The rhubarb helps tenderize it and gives it a nice bite.
Yep, putting someone in a typical American maximum-security prison is EXACTLY LIKE letting them run free, free like the wind blows. It’s all the fault of us crime-coddling crush-on-a-criminal collectivist Communits, y’know.
COMMUNISTS
FYWP
wheeee
Whozis plan to release the whatsits on where now?
Morons once again showing that their best plan for dealing with those trying to terrify the American public is to make them seem extra scary.
Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? Looks like you’ve been rendered silly and speechless by those YouTube videos from Awesome Ace! What’s that, you say? Stop it, Cool Coach, don’t point out that all we do us Blart Blart Blart? Well, you’re too late, you’ve been found out by us McCainiacs! Badoodle-boo-yeah!
Too bad your precious Obummer is tanking in the polls, otherwise I’d have to work harder to swat away your silly liberal spin! Ding dong dilly! Urban out.
I HAVE SEEN NO RETRACTION IN THE GUARDIAN OR THE WASHINGTON POST, BOTH OF WHICH REPORTED ON THIS. NEITHER CITED “GAWKER,” EITHER.
Yep, putting someone in a typical American maximum-security prison is EXACTLY LIKE letting them run free, free like the wind blows.
These people are (accused) terrorists, not supervillains. You’d think we were talking about Magneto and Dr. Octopus.
Arent you forgetting Giantcock Fucking McVaginaface?
Have you ever had plain Republican scrote?
The rhubarb helps tenderize it and gives it a nice bite.
No, no, no. You have to bread it with cayenne and cornmeal and deep fry the sucker. But it has to be really really fresh – preferably still attached.
YOU ARE STILL A STUPID DUMBASS.
So, she claims she has to write in caps when editing commenters on her own blog to reply, because there’s no other way to distinguish, otherwise.
What’s her excuse for writing in caps here, hmmm?
(Yeah, it’s probably a particularly good fake but still, you know how much fun a flamewar with Costco Coulter would be?)
Also, Debbiecakes is proof of my longstanding theory
that Germans love David Hasselhoffthat a law degree is in no way correlated to intelligence, and may in fact be a negative indicator.Especially if you try to win arguments by saying “I have a law degree”, or that “I am in Mensa”, or you non-ironically write pwn3d somewhere outside of AOL Instant Messenger.
CostcoK-Mart CoulterBadoodle-boo-yeah! The Schlussmeistress is here, Sadly, D’oh!ers! Bow to the Dynamite Debbster!
What in God’s name is Schlussel doing at a Turkish bombsight?
Going by her expression, I would say she’s trying to get the boomerang out of her ass.
I’m not clicking on the Debbie Schlussel name because I don’t feel like puking – the photoshop was bad enough – but if you really are Debbie, don’t you have some clients to misrepresent or something? Why are you all-capping on Sadly, No in the middle of the workday? Have you ever thought that maybe you should choose a more natural make-up style? I’d also like to know, now that we’re really talking, if you ever passed the bar exam, because if you did it’s obvious that the demise of American jurisprudence is looming on the horizon.
Thank you.
Oh my. It’s just stupid enough to actually be her.
It’s not Frau Schlusselstollenpfeffer herself. It’s fake Debbie.
The IP address traces back to a university in Illinois and has been used by a person commenting under a number of different names.
Because no newspaper has EVAR been caught out looking like total asshats & subsequently failed to print a retraction, knowing they just got suckered by their own idiocy, & desperately hoping that the whole sordid mess will just quietly go away, amirite?
facepalm.jpg
Not even the Democrat Congress agrees with you, though.
It seems when push comes to shove, no Congressman or Senator wants terrorists in their district or state.
I guess this means Gitmo stays open, huh libs? I think BO will be flip flopping on that issue sometome soon, especially after Cheneys advocacy.
A few apostrophes and astericks on either side of your Debbie’s comment would better give off that whole spittle-flecked rage thing.
I DON’T HAVE TO RETRACT BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T AND BESIDES I CAN’T CHECK GAWKER MYSELF SO MOOOOOSLEMS!!!!!
troofie, thank you for emulating your hero Billy Kristolnacht. Though he writes a whole comedy column your little tossoffs are equally amusing.
These people are (accused) terrorists, not supervillains. You’d think we were talking about Magneto and Dr. Octopus.
I hear they’ve got a guy down there who can make buidlings collapse just by looking at them.
Damned college kids. Next thing you know, they’ll be calling up bars and getting the bartender to yell out names like Amanda Huggankiss.
Their superpower seems to be limited to causing piss and shit to magically appear in whingnutz underpants. Which is pretty big mojo, no doubt.
So, an unnamed source told the Daily Express, the story was repeated in the Telegraph.co.uk,, where DS picked it up, but there were no retractions in the Guardian or WaPo?
Also:
“Pitch Black?” What a fucking witch.
I wonder how Troofie feels now that Obama has single-handedly stopped a dangerous terror attack just like Bush?
According to a new gallop poll the Republican Party is now tied up in membership with the Democrat Party.
Fixed your post.
Let us not forget that ultimate Dick Tracy villan, Harry Scrotum. (Thanks, National Lampoon, for an image that has been stuck in my brain for some 30 years or more.)
I still have nightmares over the Winfield Blow Jobs business card.
So what does it say that not even the Democrat-controlled Congress would go along with Hopey’s plan to release the GITMO terrorists onto American soil?
It tells me that the asshole pussies (non-sexist) in the Heartland ought to man up and accept the fact that if they can house the Unabomer, then they can handle a few terrorists who can barely speak English, and shut the fuck up and be Americans and not Frenchmen.
Banned for message overkill and for threatening a regular. Keep this in mind.
Although see Schlussel’s editorial response to the comment by TrenchantOkay at May 21, 2009 09:45 AM (“Which White Actor” post).
Oh, puh-leeeeeeze. Dangerous terror attack? Bull-fucking-shit!! Here’s the cynic’s take.
If a film is ever made of this, I suggest Debbie Schlussel for the lead. Her stoopidity weighs at least 800 lbs and she’s brain dead.
Banned?
No, you can never really ban me, liberals!
Cripes, if we could store Tim McVeigh in a prison cell in the Heartland why not a bunch of guys who haven’t been convicted of blowing up Americans?
Oh, right – they’re Islamobolshimooninazis. Nevah mind.
Debbie:
Gawker sez (18 May 2009):
Winfield Blow Jobs
I don’t recall that so I did a google image search. The most interesting divers and sundry photographic subjects I have ever seen.
Now, understand that my gazoogle preferences allow pr0n. Just saying, it wasn’t all naughty, but it certainly adds to the pantopicality of images.
Yeah, up yrs., next time I’ll check every effing link in the post. Twice!!
The IP address traces back to a university in Illinois and has been used by a person commenting under a number of different names.
Hmmmmm…University of Obamanois, huh?
Oh, puh-leeeeeeze. Dangerous terror attack? Bull-fucking-shit!! Here’s the cynic’s take.
Hi, perhaps we haven’t met? I’m the cynic in the group…
I did as you suggested, PeeJ.
Damn.
Too bad I’m straight.
punked and p3wned??? Wow, you are SO cool with your doubly hip lingo.
But let us certainly not forget: Arheddis Varkenjaab!
I think Debbie needs some counseling.
Tobias Funke, PhD.
Analrapist
I got it straight from Kevin Federline’s pastry chef that Scorsese has asked Britney Spears to take the part of the young Sinatra. He was inspired by Todd Haynes’ casting of the Dylan biopic, in which Cate Blanchett played Dylan to great acclaim.
It’s a crime against humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I myself prefer to consult the canter polls to the gallop polls. I think the slower pace allows for better analysis.
It seems when push comes to shove, no Congressman or Senator wants terrorists in their district or state.
Looks that way – better send ’em to D.C., where they don’t have any kind of Representatives or Senators to object to it.
I’d like my next job to be as an Assistant Manager of something somewhere, so that I can make up business cards that say Ass. Man.
goddamn sterotype-flogging gwailo moron.
Link
“Ah, velly good,” said Wong. “No more pee pee in coffee.”
business cards that say Ass. Man
Eh, just go ahead and have the cards made. Who’s gonna care if you don’t actually have the job?
Perhaps, Ass. Man of Big Lots?
Or course, there has always been a lot of “non-traditional” casting, but it has usually consisted of whites playing nonwhites, and men playing women. But what has really changed is that it is now going the other way. For example, S. Epatha Merkson (Law & Order) got a Tony nomination last year for playing the part of a white suburban housewife (Come Back, Little Sheba). Cate Blanchett was nominated for an Oscar for playing Bob Dylan last year. Ripley in “Alien” was a man in the script until Signorney Weaver was cast in the role, and there’s not really much in the movie to indicate whether the character is a man or a woman. I’m most familiar with opera, where it is quite common to see the black characters played by whites, and vice versa. After four centuries of white Othellos, I’m not sure Foxx as Sinatra would be such a stretch.
Not to quibble, but I’d be quite surprised if Little Debbie had ever had a telegram, or any other sort of how-do-you-do, from Major Woody.
She does look kinda like a chunky Reese Witherspoon.
Doesn’t D.C. have enough criminals and America-hating terrorists already?
Well, at least they’re the minority party now.
Not to mention, as I said about The Dipshit Peter King saying something inane about releasing the terrorists at Ground Zero…
Channeling Bogie, “Well there are certain sections of
New YorkD.C., Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to try to invade.”Man, we were troll free for so long, I thought Troofie had had an autoerotic asphyxiation mishap.
I guess he has his mom “spot” him.
Fuck, if she can believe that Jesus rode a fucking dinosaur, I’m at a loss to understand how anything could possibly stretch credulity.
Not to quibble, but I’d be quite surprised if Little Debbie had ever had a telegram, or any other sort of how-do-you-do, from Major Woody.
She does look kinda like a chunky Reese Witherspoon.
Ross Douthat, is that you?
Doesn’t D.C. have enough criminals and America-hating terrorists already?
Well, at least they’re the minority party now.
*polite golf clap*
Very nicely played.
Martini?
Martini?
No, thanks. I prefer Rossi.
“Ah, velly good,” said Wong. “No more pee pee in coffee.”
That kid had a brother, you know. Twin brother, in fact. When they were originally born in California they were even conjoined at birth! Really.
Their mother tried to get the race changed on the vault copy of their birth certificate, thinking that since they were, after all, born in this country, they were American instead of Asian, which she figured would make their opportunities better later in life. But the San Francisco city registrar refused her, because, as we all know, two Wongs don’t make a white.
Continuining in this vein, Facchinello is not an uncommon Italian surname.
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
Good one, Pere!
Martini?
No, thanks. I prefer Rossi.
Take your time, no need to be Asti…
We all considered sexual abuse of minors as a moral evil, but had no understanding of its criminal nature.
Martini?
No, thanks. I prefer Rossi.
Take your time, no need to be Asti…
You recite those puns in asuch a dry manner. You must be pro secco.
@ RobNYNY:
White Othellos are no sillier than having actors of Subsaharan african lineage play Othello. Othello was a moor, i.e. a Berber from North Africa. (Or more likely, a North African Arab with some Berber blood; think Tony Shalhoub.)
Even if he were a back-country Berber tribesman, in spite of their dark skin (some of them are so black as to appear blue; hence the medieval European term “Blue Man”) they are in fact the most extreme Caucasian type there is.
Personally, I would have no problem with Jamie Foxx playing Sinatra. Owen Wilson playing MLK seems like more of a stretch, but maybe Luke could handle the part!
If in fact, Othello was a “Moop,” however, disregard the last….
The Berber of Seville was also traditionally played by a white guy.
You recite those puns in asuch a dry manner. You must be pro secco.
You brut!
Ripley in “Alien” was a man in the script until Signorney Weaver was cast in the role, and there’s not really much in the movie to indicate whether the character is a man or a woman.
Except for that line where she complains to Mother of a vaginaache.
I see Melissa Joan Hart (which I think someone brought up once already). Also, since more than one person has said I resemble Reese Witherspoon, I prefer to believe that Teh Schluss looks nothing like her.
Schlussel could be Melissa Joan Hart and Reese Witherspoon all rolled up into one. And then some.
A lady choad?
OT: the fact that terrorists are clueless failures just proves how dangerous they are.
I hate to be pedantic butWho the hell am I kidding?The Berber group known as the blue people are the Tuareg.
The Tuareg are sometimes called the “Blue People” because the indigo pigment in the cloth of their traditional robes and turbans stained the wearer’s skin dark blue. Today, the traditional indigo turban is still preferred for celebrations, and generally Tuaregs wear clothing and turbans in a variety of colors.
Oddly enough, it would also seem that they are descended from the sidhe:
Takoba swords, like many iron implements of the Tuareg, have the handle covered in bronze or other material, as the Tuareg have an aversion to touching iron
Schlussel could be Melissa Joan Hart and Reese Witherspoon all rolled up into one.
She should really let them out.
The Berber group known as the blue people are the Tuareg.
They also make a shitty SUV.
They also make a shitty SUV.
As befits a people with an aversion to touching iron.
OT: the fact that terrorists are clueless failures just proves how dangerous they are.
And just because the Washington Generals take the court night after night against the Globetrotters, we should expect them to win at least half the games.
Any theories as to why VW spelled that French-style? That’s always seemed goofy to me.
Any theories as to why VW spelled that French-style?
They wanted to be cool like Dijon-aficianado Preznit Barack Obama.
Battleaxe,
Pssobily because it was debuted at the Paris-Dakar Rally (which was actually held in South America that year, go fog)
Pssobily
That’s a previously unknown species of parrot, by the way.
According to this guy,
But note the ‘.au’ in the URL. They’ll believe anything.
Also, it’s actually a pretty good beast both as SUVs go and as VWs go.
Finally, VW has a long tradition of naming their vehicles for winds so it could be they just had a hard on for ther name so the aussie’s stroy could even be true.
“White Othellos are no sillier than having actors of Subsaharan african lineage play Othello. Othello was a moor, i.e. a Berber from North Africa. (Or more likely, a North African Arab with some Berber blood; think Tony Shalhoub.)”
No, actually, the word “moor” (and its relatives in many languages, like — I am told — czernocki in Czech and Mohr in German) has often referred to both North and black Africans. I think the obsolete and offensive term “blackamoor” demonstrates the ambiguity of the term. The theatrical tradition strongly favors an black African character (the first known performance as a North African was in 1814). In the play, Othello is described as “black” (admittedly ambiguous at the time, when it could just mean “swarthy”) with “thick lips.” There is iconography showing North African Othellos, but much of it is 19th Century, and it is certainly not exclusive. Earlier than the 19th Century, there is lots of iconography of Moors in general who are pretty unambiguously black Africans.
For example, the Moor’s head on the Corsican coat of arms:
http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fichier:Coat_of_Arms_of_Corsica.svg
In British heradry, a Moor is black African (scroll down):
http://www.scottish-wedding-dreams.com/heraldic-symbols.html
This sculpture, by Domenico Guidi, who was born a few years after Shakespeare died, shows a “Moorish slave.”
http://warburg.sas.ac.uk/lectures/slavery.html
In short, the theatrical history of Othello, the language of the play, as well as a historical understanding of the usage word “Moor,” are all consistent with interpreting Othello as a black African man.
Owen Wilson playing MLK seems like more of a stretch, but maybe Luke could handle the part!
He would need a lot of dark makeup. Even so, I don’t know if it could pull in the younger demo – maybe with some song and dance routines like in High School Musical. Does Owen Wilson know how to tap dance?
^African ..winds ^and such
No, actually, the word “moor” (and its relatives in many languages, like — I am told — czernocki in Czech and Mohr in German) has often referred to both North and black Africans.
The CARD says “Moops”!
Owen Wilson playing MLK seems like more of a stretch…
Owen Wilson has already been stretched, by (a) Steely Dan.
FY WP with a nuclear powered 18 inch ion gun Steely Dan.
^African ..winds ^and such
I get Scirroco, but Rabbit????
I get Scirroco, but Rabbit????
More creaydiv spelins. Think Morocco: Rabat.
Rabbit this, WP!
The Rabbit’s original name was “Blizzard” and it was always referred to that way in the automotive press. Took me five years to get used to Rabbit, about the time they started calling it the “Golf.”
More creaydiv spelins. Think Morocco: Rabat.
They named it after a Harkkonen????
Wanda Sykes as Sinatra… headsplosion in 3… 2… 1…
Rob:
OK, you win. I still think that the confusing of Othello (who in medieval Italy would certainly be a North African moor) with Subsaharan Africans is just a result of general European inability to tell the difference.
BBBB:
Good Google-fu on the “Blue Men.” I have seen pictures of Berber tribesmen though, who had so much melanin in their skins that it had crystallized into like a crackle-finish enamel with a definite blue tinge, so I’m not 100% sure the etymology is correct.
so much melanin in their skins that it had crystallized into like a crackle-finish enamel with a definite blue tinge
Weird, wild stuff that there is.
hoomans is such a strange species
See how useful I was?
…that pitch Black actor Jamie Foxx (slave name: Eric Bishop) is being seriously considered to play”
“Pitch black”? Really, Deb?
“Slave name”? not “Real name” or even “nee”?
Fuck you, you pig-hearted bigot.
I mean, the rest of it sucked too, but what a way to start.
Pooned?
The Tuaregs are the ones responsible for breeding those awesome Azawakh hounds, also sometimes called the Tuareg Sloughi, of which I am so enamoured.
I am self-appalled at how heartily and loudly I laugh at these juvenile obscene names. I thought I was better than that, but apparently I am not.
Someone already said my name, right?
I did. In the post.
Do you know what the REAL problem with women is? Not that I have a problem with women myself, no it’s all their fault. And their problem is that, even when I sneak onto a university campus (even though I hate academia, and even though as a rugged individualist I don’t support or take advantage of resources acquired through enforced common good) to spend an afternoon writing personal threats against people online from a new IP address, which we all know is the sign of a healthy well balanced individual, even then those LIBERAL BITCHES won’t let me hate fuck their young firm bodies that are half my 40 years of age. BITCHES!
MzNicky – Harry P. Ness gets me. Every time.
Jennifer — the spouse’s first and middle names are Harold Richard. Yeah, that’s right, Harry Dick. He quit finding it amusing about 40 years ago. But I still think it’s funny ha haha!
Tintin: So you did. That was ever so long ago though.
even then those LIBERAL BITCHES won’t let me hate fuck their young firm bodies that are half my 40 years of age
I think Hustler, among others, has a magazine tailored specifically to your tastes.
You may want to check it out while you’re in the drugstore picking up your Cialis™ scrip and checking out the cleavage on the latest Cosmo/i> while trying not to be seen as doing so, ensuring of course that you will anyway.
FYWP
You would think by now that the wingnuts would learn to google things, especially highly improbable things. Of course, I guess, knowing the truth might spoil their fantasies
MzN explains how to keep your marriage from getting stale:
But I still think it’s funny ha ha ha!
M. Bouffant: I think it’s something in the way I say it and laugh. Seems to turn him on.
Tintin: So you did. That was ever so long ago though.
I cannot imagine a more subtle way of asking for a fresh thread.
If Phil Latio married Connie Lingus, would they have 69 kids? Or none? Because, well, you know….
So, to sum up: conservative racist whackaloon Debbie Schlussel reads an item in a right-wing British newspaper website (which they picked up from a joke item in Gawker) about a black actor supposedly being considered to play Frank Sinatra in a movie and considers it to be an example of political correctness run amuck, so she therefore mock-proposes that a white actor play the role of Martin Luther King in a movie, since that would be just as stupidly P.C.
And they wonder why people think they’re idiots.
Poor Debbie Schlussel, though! Her agony over “pitch-black” actor Jamie Foxx playing “The Chairman of the Board” is as close as she can come in print to wailing “There’s a N*****r playing President in the White House!!!” It must really hurt not to be able to get that out!
Oh, and to top it off, the article Debbie cites quotes an “unnamed source.” Of course, according to an unnamed source Debbie Schlussel is dumber than than a back of dicks being crushed by a bag of rocks, so I guess it’s appropriate for her to speculate the way she did.
Yep. time for a new thread.
“There’s a N*****r playing President in the White House!!!”
Haven’t they painted that old thing black yet?
“…stupid *and* ugly is no way to go through life…”
Gun. Fish. Barrel.
In San Diego, just talking about gay people is the same thing as talking about dick sucking and ass fucking:
The American Civil Liberties Union on Wednesday threatened to sue a San Diego County school that refused to let a student present a report on slain gay rights leader Harvey Milk until her classmates got permission from their parents.
David Blair-Loy, legal director of the ACLU of San Diego County, said the principal of Mt. Woodson Elementary School in Ramona violated the free speech rights of 6th-grader Natalie Jones, who was the only student in her class prevented from giving an in-class presentation.
According to Blair-Loy and Natalie’s mother, Mt. Woodson Principal Theresa Grace concluded last month that the subject of the girl’s project triggered a district policy requiring parents to be notified in writing before their children are exposed to lessons dealing with sex.
After the principal sent letters to parents alerting them about the “sensitive topic,” Natalie was allowed to give her 12-page PowerPoint report during the May 8 lunch recess but not in class, Blair-Loy said. Eight of the 13 students in the class attended, he said.
Natalie’s mother, Bonnie Jones, said her daughter was inspired to choose Milk as the subject of her research report after seeing the movie “Milk,” which earned Academy Awards for actor Sean Penn and screenwriter Dustin Lance Black.
“First my daughter got called into the principal’s office as if she were in some kind of trouble, and then they treated her presentation like it was something icky,” Jones said in a statement.
http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/School-Halts-6th-Graders-Report-on-Harvey-Milk.html
What started the discussion about the Touareg?
On principle I boycott cars named after ethnic peoples. No Pontiacs, Apaches or Touregs.
And no Tacomas, either on account of who’s stupid enough to name a vehicle after Tacoma.
Everyday I’m Schlusselin’.
Everyday I’m Schlusselin’.
Ev’ryday, ev’ryday, ev’ryday I’m Schlusselin’.
I love how she talks about how dumb Sean Hannity is when she makes a huge grammar mistake in the same sentence
“I already know what I wrote, and it’s not fun hearing a proud high school grad read it allowed and pass it off as his own thought”
And no Tacomas, either on account of who’s stupid enough to name a vehicle after Tacoma.
Perhaps the exhaust smelled so much like the pulp mills that it inspired some Tacoma born marketer. “Ah, the aroma of Tacoma!”
Actually “The Aroma of Tacoma” was mainly from the Knight meat-packing plant and the Asarco smelter. Now driving through Everett on a foggy day when all seven pulp mills were in operation–that, my friends, was an aroma.
commie a, thnx for posting that article (I think)–as a gay man (with the added double whammy of being the son of an Italian pa and an African-American ma) let me tell I could write a book (and am tryin to actually) about what it’s like dealing with ignorance, bigotry and downright evilasshatred in this culture. But I am encouraged–man I gotta be or else I could never go on–by the progress being made, definitely, and though shit like this has created generations of know-nothings like the unfortunate schlussel–ya almost gotta feel sorry for such a total voidhead–it’s gotten so much better all the way around even in my lifetime, and all of us who truly know what’s right just have to keep up the fight, know what I mean brother?
The American Civil Liberties Union on Wednesday threatened to sue a San Diego County school that refused to let a student present a report on slain gay rights leader Harvey Milk until her classmates got permission from their parents.
Well how could you possibly give a presentation on Harvey Milk without acting out a night with Scott Smith? I mean what WOULD be the point?
Well, there was Cedar Rapids in Iowa, known to my friends as The City of Five Smells (adapted from their motto which had Seasons in place of Smells – the fifth of which was…FUN!).
I found myself escaping a thick chocolate smell by escaping into a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet.
The City of Five Smells (adapted from their motto which had Seasons in place of Smells – the fifth of which was…FUN!).
What do you mean it smells like fun?
FUN! Natural Fun!
RB, in Des Moines it was the rendering plant on the south side. I worked in the Capitol, and on a day when the wind was right, the fragrance of baking road kill floated gently on the breeze.
What do you mean it smells like fun?
Ah, the delicate bouquet of bingo dabbers.
Speaking of those wonderful Iowa smells, has anyone (perhaps Candy) been to Clinton? The whole town smells like very strong Karo syrup due to the giant corn processing complex by the river. Sickly sweet 24x7x365.
Ah, the delicate bouquet of bingo dabbers.
I heard those smell like poo.
Only the brown ones. Apparently the green ones are minty-fresh, and so on, to make colour-coded bingo-dabbing easier for the visually-impaired.
I don’t believe I’ve ever been to Clinton. But I have heard that about the corn syrup.
Funny (not funny haha) thing is that it’s now the rural areas that smell bad, thanks to factory hog and chicken facilities. Smells awful beyond belief. Take the normal smell of a pig farm and multiply it by, oh, 1000 or so. Worse than anything I’ve ever smelled.
And I used to work in a plastics factory, so I’ve smelled bad smells. This was back in my party days. I’d go in at 7 AM, hung over with pounding head, and first be hit by the lovely smell of melting plastic. Then I had to go out and count the empty barrels in the warehouse, which the company bought from Tone’s Spices in Ankeny. But did they buy barrels in which cinnamon or cloves had been stored? No, they had to get the ones which had contained onion and garlic powder.
I’m happy to say that my Des Moines neighborhood smells delightfully of lilac now. I have a sensitive nose. I really should sift the cat box, come to think of it . . .
And via PZ Myers — the Boston police promise to use Twitter to warn you when the zombies arrive.
This was back in my party days. I’d go in at 7 AM, hung over with pounding head, and first be hit by the lovely smell of melting plastic.
I loved “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” but Cyndi Lauper did not do you justice.
The plastic factory sounds like real fun. The closest I can come was the hospital I used to work at. They had to dispose of all the soiled surgical gowns and bedcovers and whatnot; suffice it to say they burned a lot of nylon in the basement incinerator. Now nylon is a polymer of a six-unit molecule of which the four-unit and five-unit versions are called “putresceine” and “cadaverine” respectively, so you can imagine what it smells like when it depolymerizes and wafts on the breeze.
The morgue was down there, too, and so the uninitiated might tend to misattribute the smell…. (ominous ellipses, right?)
pedestrian, Ms. Love could not do me justice, back in the day. Or one better. Or something.
Reverend Battleaxe, that sounds terrible. Much worse than the factory. At least we got to leave the dock doors open much of the time, which was a good thing given the forklift exhaust factor.
#
Smut Clyde said,
May 22, 2009 at 3:09 (kill)
And via PZ Myers — the Boston police promise to use Twitter to warn you when the zombies arrive.
Oh, come on….
By the time the police tumble to the zombie invasion, it will be too late for Twitter. What, do you think we aren’t planning this out?
“Send more paramedics!!”
Hah! The stench of Commerce is the worst of all, no matter where one is enslaved.
Hah! The stench of Commerce is the worst of all, no matter where one is enslaved.
I don’t like the whole “FTW” thingy, but in this case I have to say it’s M. Bouffant FTW.
Now that that’s settled, can we have a new thread pleeeeeeeze?
Why, thank you. I don’t have much truck w/ that either, but I’ll take the honor, & a new thread.
How about a word by word takedown of Kristol’s speech that Cheney read today?
I made the host go all caps with my first comment in a right wing blog ever. That’s awesome. I never need venture into one again.
We who are about to shamble salute you!
P.S. So the zombielution will be Twitterized?
Speaking of towns with unique aromas, for years I drove through these two towns in Alabama, Guin and Gu-win (apparently there was a schism over how to say the name, and one camp moved up the road about 5 miles or so), and whichever town it was that had the 3M plant had a very strong aroma of Scotch tape. Or at least it did – I haven’t been through there for 4 or 5 years since they completed the new freeway that bypasses those towns.
250 comments and no ben dover. pretty f’n poor.
Has anyone mentioned Richard Cranium?
250 comments and no ben dover.
Nor his sister Eileen.
We who are about to shamble salute you!
If you expect the zombie to understand your salutation, you should translate it into a dead language.
…a gay man (with the added double whammy of being the son of an Italian pa and an African-American ma)…
There has to be a joke in there, somewhere. I’m in no shape to work on it at the moment.
Also, James Franco, for sure. In a heartbeat. A night with Scott Smith would be…creepy, to say the least. And I used to work in a morgue!
Do I need to include Rosy-Fingered Dawn, or should we save that for the DVD?
Rosy-Fingered Dawn
Dawn came suddenly
A night with Scott Smith would be…creepy, to say the least. And I used to work in a morgue!
Say, do they have a trick to screen out the necrophiles? It must be like furries and Disneyworld. And whatever happened to Smiling Mortician?
I’ve seen Mort around recently.
Oh good… it’s a whole different crowd now that I’m west coast
There’s also a joke about the Crack of Dawn, but I’ve got lurching to do….
I get off at Dawn.
Someone I went to high school w/ worked at a mortuary in (I think) Port Townsend or Port Angeles (one o’ them ports on the Olympic Penin.) & someone was indeed caught w/ a corpse there.
How would you screen for that, though? Could be there’s a blacklist so the sickie at least won’t get hired again elsewhere.
I’ve got lurching to do….
“Here’s to the ladies who lurch…
Everybody RISE!!!!!!”
I read this as “sickle” and I thought, yeah, there’s a tip-off if the guy’s carrying a sickle around.
On the other hand that might be a good hire if business is slow.
Favorite Hallowe’en costume: Hooded black bathrobe & a rubber/plastic made-in-China sickle from the chain drugstore.
I’d guess business is going to be picking up the funeral industry for a few yrs., in a few yrs., as a certain large generation fades away screaming.
Surely Death is keeping up with modern technology, and these days is wandering around with a weed-whacker.
How would you screen for that, though? Could be there’s a blacklist so the sickie at least won’t get hired again elsewhere.
Just don’t ask the Catholics.
I made the host go all caps with my first comment in a right wing blog ever. That’s awesome. I never need venture into one again.
To remain accurate, The Schussel thing isn’t the hardest nut to crack in that instance. Now, if you can get her to punch the caps lock key again, and go all lower-case, then my friend, you have accomplished something.
How would you screen for that, though?
I like to imagine it as how you get into the Apathetic Party. If you’re too enthusiastic about working there, red flag, no go.
We Baby Boomers will never die. The Zombie Beach Boys will be giving concerts when the sun enters its red giant phase.
Say, do they have a trick to screen out the necrophiles?
Yes, but I do not know his name.
It’s a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma.
As mentioned above, there’s nothing like Everett.
Actually, M. Bouffant, all of the pulp mills are gone. It’s a navy town now, for better or worse: a carrier task group based there, built around the Nimitz.
You can still get a pretty good reek going across the Snohomish delta on the causeway towards Marysville. And there was a pile of old tires burning recently for about a year and a half right there. (Couldn’t put it out.)
Did someone say Connie Lingus?
http://jezebel.com/5264674/20-songs-about-cunnilingus?skyline=true&s=x
Insert Joke here.
Just a thought… stage makeup is pretty good these days. How do we know Jamie Foxx couldn’t do Frank? I’d want to see an audition first…
Haw, haw! Don’t have a cow, man.
No crap? A whole freaking naval station, in Everett? Is the Bremerton yard still open? You’d think they could put a carrier group there.
Damn, you’d think little could change in 40 yrs.
A night with Scott Smith would be…creepy, to say the least.
Not as creepy as a night with SCott Stapp, though.
“WIIIIITH URRRRRRMS WAAAAHDE OOOOOPUUUNNNN!”
I just have to add this!
Why, I have a vewwy gweat fwiend in Wome named Biggus Dickus!
Is the Bremerton yard still open?
Yup, Bremerton is still open, as are the Bangor sub base and NAS Whidbey. Everett was a consolidation of bases like Alameda that were closed in the 90s.
Also, Russ T. Trambeaun.
Also.
PLEASE DON’T CALL ME SHIRLEY
Noted media accuracy watchdog T. Robin Dick would have a field day with this one.