That’s just because you haven’t heard their cover of ‘Bush Was Right’ yet.

were you able to actually listen to the whole thing? i got thru the crue part somewhat shaken, but when i heard him start “singing” the verve lyrics i IMMEDIATELY had to click stop. my hands were shaking, i had a cold sweat, the nausea was uncontrollable…i never want to feel like that again EVER.

Have you guys heard some of the Right Brothers’ other songs? One of Sully’s e-mailers pointed me to “Trickle Down” (these are real lyrics here, folks):

If the rich man didn’t spend his cash on cars and boats and planes
There’d be a lot of average Joe’s out of work today
His dollar helps America’s economy to thrive
The rich man keeps the working man working and alive

Jesus. That’s horrible. I prefer Ani DiFranco’s version:

Every night, we were glued to the TV news
At six o’clock
Cuz it was hard to tell what was real
And what was talk
They explained about the cutbacks
All the earnest frowns
But what they didn’t say was that the plant
Was slowly shutting down

This town is not the kind of place
That money people go
They make their jokes up on the tv
About all the snow
And they’re building condos downriver
From where the plant had been
But nobody really lives here
Now that the air is clean

The president assured us
It was all gonna trickle down
Like it’d be raining so much money
That we’d be sad to see the sun

or even the Tragically Hip’s:

lining up, waiting on the trickle down
something’s up, taking time to get around
belly up, all the drinks are on the crown
it’s just a matter of trickle down

twenty miles before the crash
that’s the style for a while
and man I think it’s gonna last
“hit the brakes” is all you can say
conductor says we’ll save them
for another rainy day

But those guys just need to be kicked. Hard.

Jagger/Richards don’t care what the song sounds like, since all the royalties from the song go to them as part of a settlement with Ashcroft for using a sample without permission.

I heard this horrifying “song” on the radio recently, and i thought it completely redefined the idea of a “mashup”, but i don’t mean that in a good way. However, the worst song ever committed to a recording device is “Crazy Horses”, a heavy metal anthem by the Osmonds. You don’t even have to listen to it to know that it’s the worst song ever recorded.

Limp Bizkit doing the Verve? I guess two horrible horrible wrongs don’t make a right.

Mike- I’ve heard “Crazy Horses” before. It’s even worse than “My Pal Foot Foot.”

Limp Bizkit doing the Verve? I guess two horrible horrible wrongs don’t make a right.

I will defend The Verve as an underated mope rock band and Bittersweet Symphony as an excellent song to be enjoyed. Fred Durst apparently ran out of lewt and is now cashing out as quickly as possible. Greatest Hits albums shouldn’t be comprised of other people’s hits.

Greatest Hits albums shouldn’t be comprised of other people’s hits.

Like the majority of Guns’n’Roses’ later work?

Oh my god! Brad R., I curse you! I had the Crazy Horses 45 when I was a little kid, but I had supressed the memory for the last 30 years or so. You have recovered that memory, and brought all the shame and horror to the surface. I will weep now.

(“Crazy Horses, AH WAH, AH WAH;
CRAZY HORSES, AH WAH!”)

“Crazy Horses” is pretty stunning. I’m actually listening to it right now.

I’m gonna burn a CD later featuring that song, the Bizkit cover of “Bittersweet Symphony,” the Shaggs’ “My Pal Foot-Foot,” and Shatner’s “Mr. Tambourine Man.” Plus, Old Skull’s “Pizza Man,” if I can find it…

Incidentally, I love shitty music and shitty movies as much as I love shitty punditry. If I could only gain employment in the field of sensory masochism, I’d feel like the luckiest boy in the world.

Its all coming back to me now, Brad. The unique appeal of the Osmonds song we are discussing comes from how you listen to it. Is it “Crazy Horses”, as the song title claims, or, as we preferred to think of it “Crazy Whore Says”.

I’m gonna burn a CD later featuring that song, the Bizkit cover of “Bittersweet Symphony,” the Shaggs’ “My Pal Foot-Foot,” and Shatner’s “Mr. Tambourine Man.” Plus, Old Skull’s “Pizza Man,” if I can find it…

Any chance of squeezing “Sandwich of Love”, by The Mentors, on there?

The parody concept is not such a bad idea for a song, Brad. I’ll have to add that to my Things to Write About list.

Oh, come on. Bittersweet Symphony isn’t even a song It’s just one long, fairly promising intro that goes nowhere. After 20 seconds, you’ve heard all of it.

Limp Bizkit may be stinky, but they’ve yet to turn out a song as vapid and bereft of activity as Bittersweet Symphony (which, BTW is an awfully imaginative title for a tune with strings in a minor key :P)

As for crappy music, about half the songs on that Metal Tribte to ABBA album are laugh-out-loud bad. Give it a shot, it’ll make your day.

Nomination for “Worst Song Ever Recorded”

I’m hoping it loses to
“Great Sex” Can Ruin Your Life.

Well, I heard the track in question, and it’s not particularly good, but at a brief 3:47 with a good dynamic structure and arrangement (compared to almost 6 minutes of interminable repetition in the original) I find this to be a marked improvement.

If it hadn’t been LB and hadn’t ripped off some near-sacred over-hyped tune, you wouldn’t even have noticed it, any of you.

Limp Bizkit doing the Verve? I guess two horrible horrible wrongs don’t make a right.

Hey, the Verve did some really good things on A Northern Soul and A Storm in Heaven, especially ‘Blue’, ‘Slide Away’, ‘So it Goes’, and ‘History’. Don’t even be comparing them to Limp Bizkit.

John,

Not to be pedantic or anything, but the song is actually in a major key, but it only has one chord progression: Major I, Minor IV7, Major II, Major VI. A little more appropriate for the term “Bittersweet”, I guess. However, your original point is still valid.

Nik

Oh, man Brad, I specialize in bad cover song collection CDs! If ya can find any of these, give ’em a spin (they’re mostly covers of songs I really hate, anyway, but some are covers of songs I actually like the original version of. no, I won’t tell which is which):
? The Fatima Mansions’ cover of Bryan Adams’ “Everything I Do (I do it for you)
? The DayGlo Abortions’ cover of Neil Diamond’s “I Write the Songs”
? The Squirrels’ dual cover of “Seasons in the Sun” and “The Hustle” (!!).
? Lard’s cover of Barnes & Barnes’ “They’re Coming to Take Me Away” (you’re a strong, strong man if you can make it through all 9 obnoxious minutes of this!).
? Any one of the following coverers of Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus”: Lollipop Lust Kill, Gravity Kills, or, of course, Marilyn Manson.
? More Machine Than Man’s cover of Animotion’s “Obsession.”
? Drain the Doves’ cover of the Smith’s “How Soon Is Now?”
Happy hunting!

Nice list, Marq. This is Jagger and Keef basically continuing to say “fuck you” Ashcroft. I expect they will let Britney Spears cover it, or maybe duet it with Kev as well.

I loves me some good pedantry, crazynick. Thanks for setting me straight.

As f?r Keef and Mick’s involvement, my understanding is that no copyright holder can stop a cover version, unless it changes the lyric. Hence “Weird” Al needing permission from the artists he spoofs.

Marq,

Obviously it might not fit completely into the “So bad it causes your brain to atrophy and leak out of your ears” category of covers, but don’t forget that Mr. Cash himself did a cover of “Personal Jesus”. I’ve listened to it a number of times, and I’m still not sure what to think of that one.

John,

Yeah, it’s kinda sad. Pedantry is probably the only thing I do well on blogs. I can’t do snark, humor, or cogent statements well, but I can nit-pick statements for technical correctness with the best.

Nik

i’m a big fan of cash’s take on personal jesus. but then, it’s hard for me to knock anything on those last 2 albums.

Actually, Parody is protected under copyright laws, so technically Weird Al doesn’t need permission to do his songs. He seeks it as a courtesy and to avoid headaches later.

Coolio got pissed off at him because he did a parody of “Gangster’s Paradise” without permission (Aparently Al thought that Coolio had given him permission, and Coolio thought he hadn’t).

Incidentally, the title of both the worst cover and the worst song goes to Pearl Jam’s version of “Last Kiss”.

ALL YOU HATERS SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO BACK AND LISTEN TO ALL YOUR TEENY BOBING HAPPY HORSE SHIT EMO BANDS YOU FUCKING GAY FAGS

Yeah! You listen to Dan, or he’ll PUT A CAP IN YO’ WASS! BO-YEE!

Oh, and Dan?

Try not to disparage people as “GAY FAGS” in your rants. It’s not really an insult, and it’s redundant (and repetitive) anyway.

Hah, Dan did you wash up here via google search for Limp Bizkit, or are you just a conincidental troll?

hey bro….if that was the most painfull thing u’ve ever heard, then u are absolutely with no expirionce in life, go stab ur balls with a fork or smth, that will probobly be more painfull, glad to help u out man, anytime

oh ye by the way FUCK YOU

Actually, Parody is protected under copyright laws, so technically Weird Al doesn’t need permission to do his songs. He seeks it as a courtesy and to avoid headaches later.

He can also negotiate a lower royalty rate.

you suck man!!!!!
thats all what i have to say about you and your page. fuck off limp bizkit

I think Dan might be a driveby unless “LHSMLC” is also “Dan.”
I’m not sure what a “mylar gecock” is but I’m sure it’s shiney.

As the worst cover of a good song I nominate Limp Bizkit’s cover of Behind Blue Eyes. They couldn’t even be bothered to learn the bridge!

I hope your kidding… this song is amazing.. I think you can all burn in hell… think for yourselves not everyone else.. I remember how bizkit sold like 20million copies of significant other and Chocolate starfish even results may vary sold a million yet no one ever seems to admit they used to love limp bizkit… there all media drones… You can take this stupid ass page with all these stupid ass haters and burn in hell…

agree with adam fisher

There’s really nothing quite as lame and insecure-looking as drive-bying a site that put down your favorite band, and then doing it really, really badly.

It’s the net equivalent of answering a mild, well-formed jibe by trying to spit in the person’s face only to have a gust of wind blow it into your own eye.

Yes, it’s that funny.

It’s amazing that all the negative rants share the same horrible spelling, poor syntax, and foolish arguments (f-u, HATERS!). Maybe they all know each other. Or, maybe, just maybe, and I know it sounds ridiculous, they are all the same troll! I know, it sounds crazy…

This conclude my contribution to this thread. Now, on the advice of LimpHaterFellateMe, I’m going to go stab my balls with a fork or smth, although that will probobly be preety painfull.

but don’t forget that Mr. Cash himself did a cover of “Personal Jesus”

Oh, I wasn’t forgetting that one–it’s just that it’s a decent cover. I actually rather like it. Of course, I also have the RuPaul version of it, too. That makes me laugh, especially when they use the “Cher, ‘Believe'” filter on “her” voice. Ooh, a shudder just went up my spine thinking about it! It’s just terrifying. There’s a “comedy” bit at the end of it that’s just so… so… indescribably awful that it sure makes me glad that iTunes allows you to set start and stop points within tracks, ‘cos once was more than enough.
That’s the funny thing about music. It tends to elicit emotional responses, so it is often something people almost violently disagree about. I know full well a lot of things that I really like aren’t what one would call “universally popular.” In fact, I’m well aware that a good case can be made that quite a bit of it is pure shit. But it doesn’t really bother me any when someone says, “Oh, ‘band x’? Man, they fucking suck!” It doesn’t affect my enjoyment a bit–they’re perfectly entitled to think that. It doesn’t matter a bit to me. My own taste can fairly radically shift, over time. When I look at some of the stuff I picked up back in the ’80s, I think, “WTF was I thinking?!?” But what do I know? I’m just a FUCKING GAY FAG. Though somehow I seem to have not bought much in the way of emo. Huh.

wat is it with all you haters? why does everyone hate limp bizkit so much? GO FUCK YOURSELFS!

(sigh)

oh and just a fact for all your haters, fred durst was forced by his record label to bring out greatest hitz, he was actluy against the idea of bringin it out, so you can’t say “oh he’s tryin to cash in”

yeah that fucking shut you all up

Lovin’ the “all you haters” bit… since I didn’t say anything one way or the other about Limp Bizkit. I guess not expressing my unshakable, undying love is the equivalent of hating (to some people). Again, I say “Huh.”

I wouldn’t blame Fred for cahsin’ in, honestly. He’s probably stone-broke by this point, after spending his money buying a bunch of stupid shit, a la MC Hammer. I wouldn’t at all be surprised if he was the one who purchased Mike Tyson’s tiger.

I Should Trash Limp Bizkit More Often

I really should. The last time I did, it attracted a bunch of hilariously pissed-off comments from a small legion of Fred Durst fans. Here are the highlights: ALL YOU HATERS SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO BACK AND LISTEN…

Fred Durst so totally speaks to me man, I know exactly what he’s singing about. It’s like he’s feeling my pain. *sigh* Fred Durst is dreamy…

Mr. Dan Durst
Mr. and Mr. Fred Durst
Fred and Dan Durst
*sigh*

Yeah, that shut all you queer homosexual gay fags up.

Um…Hi? Anyone there? No? Okay. (Exception to all of us who are back because Brad reminded us about this particular thread.) Just in case Dan is still lurking here, as opposed to the top of the page, I’ll drop a clue. This is a “blog”, short for “weblog”. It is not–I repeat–not a forum, a bulletin board, or a fan site. Therefore, if no one posts anything to you (or responds to being called a…ahem…”gay fag”) for more than 6 hours, you should probably check the next thread. We do not post to each thread ad nauseum, but rather continue conversations in DIFFERENT threads. That is all, except for this: What Fred Durst did to “Behind Blue Eyes” was bad enough it made the original actually seem like good classic rock, and that is saying quite a bit.

And also, ditto on the bit about “Last Kiss”.

crazynick you are serously fucked up man

Not alone

Fred Durst so totally speaks to me man, I know exactly what he’s singing about. It’s like he’s feeling my pain. *sigh* Fred Durst is dreamy…

Really? When I listen to his music, it’s often like he’s feeling my anus with his tongue.

Fred Durst so totally speaks to me man, I know exactly what he’s singing about. It’s like he’s feeling my pain. *sigh* Fred Durst is dreamy…

Really? When I listen to his music, it’s often like he’s feeling my anus with his tongue.

your a fucking cunt you teeny bobing happy horse shit pink t-shirt wearer

Wow, the comments for this post have really changed my perception of Limp Bizkit’s fan base. Before, I was suspicious that anyone who actually liked Fred Durst’s music was a brainless, immature, no-taste-having jackbag. Now, though, I’m CONVINCED they’re a brainless, immature, no-taste-having jackbag. I feel so enlightened!

Oh man, that’s good trolling.
Now if i can only figure out what a smth is so i can stab my testicles with it.

One guy here points out that Limp Bizkit sold x number of millions of copies as if that suddenly means that a successful marketing campaign targeted at the same sort of inexplicably angry mall-crawlers who used to wear mullets but now wear buzz-cuts, chain wallets and cliche tribal armband tattoos makes it “good”

Vanilla Ice sold a lot of records too, remember?

Dan, I was feeling down this morning, but you cheered me right up. Thank you 🙂

limp bizkit AND fred durst have got to be one of the best things thats ever happened to rock.

FUCK U POSERS GO TO H3LL WITH UR LAME ASS COMMENTS..FIND ANOTHER HOBBY ..O I NOE..FUCKING URSELVES..YA U ALL ARE GAY MOTHER FUCKERS..GO LISTIEN TO UR STUPID BANDS WICH WILL NEVER GET TO THE TOP..ATLEAST LIMP HAD THER 15 MINUTES OF FAME..OTHERS BANDS HAD SHIT..SO GO FUCK URSELVES AND IF U THINK UR MAN ENOUGH GO SAY SHIT TO FRED AND HIS FAN’Z IN THEIR FACES..FUKIN PUSSIES

Ooooh, it’s the ever-impressive “caps lock” attack! Big! Hey, lear some HTML so your caps can all be BOLD and ITALICIZED, too!

Oops-“learn.”

And the original already sucked. Why does Limp Bizkit hate us?

And the original already sucked. Why does Limp Bizkit hate us?

HEY MARK TAKE THAT DILDO OUT OF UR ASS THEN TALK TO ME

HEY MARq TAKE THAT DILDO OUT OF UR ASS THEN TALK TO ME

Ur-ass, the very first donkey.

As I’ve already mentioned, I haven’t said one thing or another regarding Limp Bizkit, and I find the entire idea of debating musical taste silly. You like ’em? Fine. Knock yourself out. Doesn’t mean anything, though, really. I can’t say I’ve ever even heard anything by them. Ever. Don’t listen to music on the radio. So, does that qualify as an “ooh, burn!“? Anyway, no time for this frivolity–I’ve got a dildo to get back to.

This is #73. I just know that this thread is gonna go over 100, even though it’s gonna drop off the front page in a day or so. LIMP BIZKIT!!!11!1!

Hey Marq!

Enjoy that dildo! It sounds to me like you are, as Dan might put it, a “bobing happy horse shit pink t-shirt wearer.” I know, it’s a bit hard to parse, kind of a 70 IQ stream-of-consciousness thing, but it’s interesting, no?

Oh, and I must agree with you that Limp Bizkit and Fred Durst have no talent.

#74 (for reference purposes)

I’ve decided to name my li’l ol’ dildo Fred…

…Phelps.

…’Cos, y’know, it’s teensier than my pinkie. [just waiting around to see if certain trolls don’t know their ‘Freds’]

Man i missed the party…
Guess i’ll just stick my dick in the punch bowl.

And the original already sucked. Why does Limp Bizkit hate us?

They hate our freedom, Fred Phelps jr., and FUKIN PUSSIES, or so I’m told.

But mainly I think it’s just a cry for help.

(#78)

(I first read that Caps Locked F as a P, btw., which was kinda gross)

Fred Durst!!!

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Oh, and BTW, #80, mofos!

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Yeah, it’s no longer about the music.

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…or the butt-sex.

Marq,

I must object to your use of the term “butt-sex” in your comment above. You realize, of course, that that term will only serve to remind everyone of those noted practitioners of butt-sex, the members of the band Limp Bizkit. Of course, Fred Durst is know to prefer his butt-sex with a mylar gecock.

The Major certainly has a valid point, and I can only wonder if those fabled philistines, Limp Bizkit, do not, in fact, owe their preference for butt-sex to a deep, seething hatred of fukin pussies. Could it be that this is also the case for their fan’z?

I’m surprised by the homophobia of Limp Biskit fans, given that at least members of the band are gay.

Obviously, Fred Durst isn’t one of the gay ones – you can tell this because, statistically, gay men have lager than average genitalia, whilst Durst has a tiny little penis.

That’s, two members.

Major Woody–sorry! I’ll try and use some more neutral term for “butt-sex” in future, like “cornholing.” Or “helium-heels deep rectal probing (not by space aliens).” Or something else fit for a family blog.

Thanks Marq!

Always PG-13 here, right? I believe the term the kids use nowadays for hot butt sex is “doin’ the Durst!”, but I could be mistaken.

Check me out!

FUCK ALL YOU LB HATERS!

Oh shit
Look what this rocket scientist has on his site
“sometimes i question my exsistence and purpose in life. The more i question myself the more i become lost in myself because there are no answers. i think the key is to realize that life is temporary and spending life questioning life is a waist of life”

that quote by fred durst fills me up inside and keeps me going.
I think I just ruptured my spleen laughing. That’s either a hilarious parody or a horrible mistake.

Posted by: Anonymous | December 7, 2005 05:48 AM

Well, which is it? Fred Durst has a tiny little penis, or Fred Durst has two members? You can’t have it both ways, you know. Well, maybe Marq can, but you can’t.

Hey Dan,

Thanks for the link to your web site. I went and Checked You Out! as you suggested, and I think I see the problem here. Judging from your web page, you’re just not that big of a fan of Limp Bizkit. Sure, you’ve got a couple of friendly quotes in there, but I just don’t get the sense that you really like them that much, or know very much about the band or their music. You’re what we might call a poser, or dare I say it, a lamer.

Shit! Is this thread dead? Have the Limp Bizkitz no more defenders on all teh internets?

Oh, and 91, bitchez (I think…)!!1!

FUCK ALL YOU HATERS!!!!

no don’t kno shit!

you only know about fred durst wat you read bout him, so shut the hell up you haters

you only know about fred durst wat you read bout him, so shut the hell up you haters

As opposed to the deep, intimate, personal understanding you have, I take it? Oh, dude–that is so gay!

Hey there Dan, welcome back!

Are you saying you know Fred Durst? Why, you literally do know shit!

“no don’t kno shit!”

“you only know about fred durst wat you read bout him, so shut the hell up you haters”

Comedy GOLD!

This is comment #97, for what that’s worth*. The other Limp Bizkit thread seems kinda dead, but maybe that’s because it fell off the main page. Follow the linky if you like.

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*bitchez!

Number 98! Wow! All fueled by our merry little band of troll baiters.

OK, someone’s got to do it. Who will get the big one-zero-zero? The contenders:

1. Marq: alleged practitioner of butt-sex, and one of the most tenacious posters on this thread.

2. Bistroist: came on strong at the end, pointing out Bizkit fans’ “seething hatred of fukin pussies”

Timmah420: seems to have been knocked out by the ruptured spleen he suffered around the high-80’s

Major Woody: Well, I’m postin’ number 99, so one quick click of the mouse, and I AM THE MAN! But that would be a move worthy of a whining baby, or a Limp Bizkit fan. I’ll give you guys 24 hours to post #100, then I’m all over it!

Or could it be… Dan?!?!
The man with the plan, the Durstophile, CAP’N CAPS LOCK! HE.. COULD… GO… ALL… THE… WAY!

If you’re looking for a dark horse, put all your money on:
LimpHaterssuckmylargecock

100, bitchez!!1!!
Well, I held-off doing that as long as I could stand, but, then, I;m not very good at resisting temptation.
I wonder if the NSA is tapping Fred Durst’s phone? Surely, he makes overseas calls….

(Clap clap clap clap)

Bravo, Marq! I see you ended your 4-day marathon of Bizkit-hatin’ and butt-sex to win the day! You may call any time to collect your prize: an all-expense paid trip (if you pay for it) to stay with Dan and his Limp circle of friends to study the philosophy and wisdom of one Maharishi Durst. Bravo!

Major Woody, what a mean thing to post back on my birthday! OK, so I haven’t checked this thread in a while….

Limp bizkit have sold over 30 million albums worldwide

wats matter haters? cat got your mother fucking tounge!?!?!

oh and Major Woody your a cock don’t go on my site agen you faget your a fucking poser

Hmm… let’s see… now, presumably, out of “30 million” albums sold, a lot of people own more than one album, and in some cases, multiple copies of individual albums (collector packaging, import versions, CD/LP/tape). But, let’s be insanely generous and say that 30 million + albums = 30 million + fans. OK, well… big whoop. That’s less than one-half of one percent of the world’s population. I’m so fucking impressed.

pick up the thread
dans a smeghead