Is it Blart Daniel Blatt or Blatt Daniel Blart?

The strategy works for non-billionaires, why shouldn’t it work for non-heterosexuals?

Tintin, it’s no fun unless you call upon the Force, and such as.

Bruce and Carrie are old pals ever since they met in the waiting room of the plastic surgeon who did their implants.

I stopped trolling visiting Gay PutzRiot some while ago. There was just something terribly unsettling about his regular commentariat regularly screaming about teh evil filthy fags. No, really, that’s the MO of the people who hang out there. Brucie (I think that’s the ‘B.’ in B. Daniel Blart) agrees with them on every issue and stunningly avoids even the mildest finger shake at their reularly occurring regular hate speech. Yes, I said hate speech.

That and the site takes for fucking ever to load. And Dan is a putz. Also.

On the bright side, he tends to coime over here and whine a lot whenever he’s featured.

Well, I personally believe that, um, marriage should be between a man and a woman, um, because, um, gay people don’t have maps, and, um, the Iraq.

And, predictably, the very first comment:

Well, are you now seeing what these “so-called” activists really are? Intolerant hypocrits who want to shove, by physical force if necessary, their agenda down other’s people’s throats – no first amendment rights allowed if they don’t approve it.

Too precious.

All this throat shoving.

Perhaps it is not the sinister gay agenda so much as all the moaning and screeching that causes all those wingnut sore throats.

Why doesn’t he go the extra mile and stop being Gay?

If you can’t spell “hypocrite” correctly, don’t ever say anything, ever.

You see, libs, if only the government privatised these Miss USA pageants, then the private-enterprise organisers would be free to institute whatever rules they liked (yes, even expecting politically-correct speeches from the constitute), and hire whichever celebrity judges they felt like (yes, even people not much concerned about feminine pulchritude), and no-one would have any grounds to complain!

Why doesn’t he go the extra mile and stop being Gay?

I’m sure he lives in constant self-hatred for not having the strength to pick up the phone and register for straight camp.

“Why doesn’t he go the extra mile and stop being Gay?”

Obviously all his sexual partners are “straight” Conservatives, probably residents of RedState or TownHall or Nat’l Review, and so on. He’s in clover.

Gaytriot’s writing is opposite-enjoyable.

One day I might even get to have lunch with Glenn or get his autograph or something.

GP has as much chance of that as Kathy Shaidle does getting a date with Mark Steyn.

(#My NEW book –signed by Mark Steyn!)

“Pajamas Media”? Do they mean, like, flannel and broadcloth?

B. Daniel Blart
He particularly enjoys the novels of George Eliot, the poetry of William Wordsworth as well as Joseph Campbell’s writings on mythology and Carl Jung’s on psychology.

I dunno but it’s my guess he’s not taken the Campbell and Jung to heart.

Ow. It’s worse than we thought. Via the ever reliable JoeMyGod, Miss Blart’s Washington Blade op-ed:

We could all feel the excitement as we awaited vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s speech. We left the Xcel Center ecstatic, agreeing it was a great speech and a good night for our party, with some (including yours truly) comparing her speaking style to that of Ronald Reagan.

Could we lay off this guy? He is, by far, the saddest, most pathetic tosser among the Repug commentators. It’s not that I don’t get any joy from seeing him so enthusiastically (and so deservedly) mocked. I just feel really bad about it.

(And speaking of gay conservatives, Jack Kemp died today.)

Is this guy related to the old TV actor, Adam West?

We left the Xcel Center ecstatic, agreeing it was a great speech and a good night for our party, with some (including yours truly) comparing her speaking style to that of Ronald Reagan.

Strangely, they did this before the speech.

Also, what Hoosier said. Dan is just kind of sad. Bruce (Gay Patriot non-West) is the asshole.

“…with some (including yours truly) comparing her speaking style to that of Ronald Reagan.”

I can’t argue with this, as long he means the advanced-Alzheimer’s-period Reagan.

Jack Kemp died today yesterday.

Indeedly-doodly.

I would actually expect him and only him to weigh in on this, because someone needs to remind the rest of the wingnut frothers that openly gay men are the only people who are allowed to be this obsessed with which way a fuckin’ beauty pageant went.

GayPatriot’s name is Bruce.

GayPatriotWest’s name is Bruce.

Therefore, all faggots are named Bruce.

Further proof I was not a faggot.

True gay conservatives never admit they’re gay, even when caught in flagrante.

Further proof that Bruce and BruceWest are merely faggots.

I am not now nor have ever been named Bruce.

You’re all a bunch of faggots.

I would actually expect him and only him to weigh in on this, because someone needs to remind the rest of the wingnut frothers that openly gay men are the only people who are allowed to be this obsessed with which way a fuckin’ beauty pageant went.

Except And Except Powerline.

(And a pre-emptive FYWP for what I’m sure will be a clusterfuck of a comment rendering.)

FYWP for getting it right.

Also, what Hoosier said. Dan is just kind of sad. Bruce (Gay Patriot non-West) is the asshole

Reading dan is like watching kittens being run over. The only gay that wants to lose the culture wars.

Reading dan is like watching kittens being run over.

Show me a kitten as hopelessly stupid as Bruce D. Blart; then we’ll talk.

I think Dan’s point is simply that many, if not all, heterosexual allies of the GLBT community are guided in their feelings and actions by gossip bloggers and runners-up in beauty pageant contests. Historically, this has been true of most civil rights battles in this country.

Perhaps you are all forgetting the crucial role played in the early 1960’s when Tilly O’Hexobarbital of “Tilly’s Tinseltown Tattler” asked Bettie Lou Syzgy, second runner-up in the Teenage Miss Idaho contest, her opinion of Malcolm X. Had Bettie Lou not vociferously voiced her support of the controversial civil rights activist, it is very likely that we would still have racially segregated restrooms.

That isn’t a typo, by the way, in my previous post: it should read “Bettie Lou Syzgy,” as she dropped the extra “y” from the original “Syzygy” to Americanize her name.

Dan is just kind of sad. Bruce (Gay Patriot non-West) is the asshole

They’re both sad cases. But the thing is, he’s enabling and empowering the people who want us queers silent, oppressed, rightless, dead. So please don’t feel the need for pity. Scorn is appropriate. Anger even. But pity only reinforces the self-loathing syndrome.

at one time wasn’t ‘syzygy’ spelt ‘zyzygy’ ?

“I dunno but it’s my guess he’s not taken the Campbell and Jung to heart.”

I dunno about Campbell, but fairy tales can come true–it can happen to you!–when you’ve taken Jung to heart.

also, wasn’t it just about impossible for Miss California to beat Miss North Carolina in the pageant standings? um..er..so I’ve been told, because I’d haven’t watched it on teevee or on the internet myself. no sir.

“I dunno but it’s my guess he’s not taken the Campbell and Jung to heart.”

I dunno about Campbell, but fairy tales can come true–it can happen to you!–when you’ve taken Jung to heart.

Why don’t we just take the government completely out of marriage? The government shouldn’t be allowed to define what is and isn’t marriage.

Why don’t we just take Jews completely out of the country? The government should be allowed to define who is and who isn’t a person.

Mirages should be defined by the free markets, and such as.

MAPS!

Why don’t we just take Austrian politicians out of the country?

Hasta la vista, alien boy.

And no foreign economics, either.

Why don’t we just take Australian politicians angry large birdies out of the country?

Hasta la vista, emus!

Notice no liberal has given a serious response.

Notice no liberal has given a serious response.

Please repeat last transmission. You’re coming in broken and stupid.

We really didn’t think anyone could put in less effort than “John”, but congrats. Aw, what the hell, you’re probably John anyway.

Why don’t we just take flibbity-bloos out of the country? The government shouldn’t be able to define who is and who isn’t allowed to broadcast through my fillings.

Eff off, you non-extinct bastards (and bastardettes).

Why don’t we just take “febrile” out of the dictionary? I’ve never known anyone to use it in a sentence .

BUHSQUACK!!!!!!!

FYWP.

Platypus crack!

with some (including yours truly) comparing her speaking style to that of Ronald Reagan.

Now that’s going to far. Even I’m insulted on behalf of Reagan.

dn’t gv rts ss wht sm hm ds n hs bdrm, bt gvrnmnt shldn’t rcgnz “mrrg” t ll. Lt th Chrchs dcd wht s “mrrg”. f th hms wnt t gt mrrd, thy cn d t n th Fggt Chrch (k, th pscpln Chrch) nd wn’t gv fck. Bt dn’t frc m t rcgnz fg mrrg by gvrnmnt ft whn dn’t wnt t.

Chrchs, nt gvrnmnt, shld b n th mrrg bsnss. Mk vrythng ls Cvl nn.

Fuckfagfuckfagfuckfagfiat. Naughty “F” words make me all tingly.

What homos do in their bedrooms makes me want to touch myself.

Remember our agreement!

What’d I tell you about stealing my bit?

Government fiats to be manufactured in Michigan! By unionised labour!

Lk, bttmnchrs. f y’r gng t rspnd t m hv th stns t d t ndr yr wn gddmn nm, r gt th hll t. Fgs.

I’m sure he lives in constant self-hatred for not having the strength to pick up the phone and register for straight camp.

Yeah, how hard can it be to dial 1-800-HAMWALLET?

If I may quote Patrick Kenzie, you’re awfully worried about people’s butts, ManlyJohn.

John’s Childhood Priest said,

May 4, 2009 at 2:05

Remember our agreement!

This made me laugh.

If I may quote Patrick Kenzie, you’re awfully worried about people’s butts, ManlyJohn.

Also their stones.

I’m starting to believe the troll is just a fagment of our imaginations.

heya john I know your too thick to get why we point and laugh but as long as there are societal and financial benefits to being married it is discrimination to stop gays marrying. see simple (I typed that slowly for you). You get your theorcacy out of our goverment and then we may discuss civil unions.

if john marries does it become polygomous or is the austrian a multiple personality fagment?

“if john marries does it become polygomous”
Yep. And bestiality, since the pigs who are flying want some of the action.

Trolls are supposed to piss us off, not make us point and laugh, right?

I’ll be back later to kick you lib’s asses.

Hey, every time John refers to asses, balls or fags, we take a shot. Ready?
Oh, and we drink whenever he says it too.

Wow, Johnny sure likes to focus on our asses. Wonder why that is.

You know what, fuck a bunch of the church. Why don’t they call what they do “Jesus Joinings” or whatever the fuck they want and shut the hell up about civil marriage?

All Gays Should Be Like Me

Or, Gay Like Me, wherein a straight guy dresses well, gets a haircut for a change & goes to certain bars to see how gay people are oppressing the loving, tolerant, accepting straight majority (while sort of secretly hoping to get his shitbox, & so on).

M. Bouffant, what does “Reporting for Booty: The Matt Drudge Story” have to do with this?

if john marries does it become polygomous

No, the word is “poly-gomer-ous.”

To hell with these civil unions. Where’s the point in a relationship without the swearing, shouting, bad manners and throwing of crockery?

Smut Clyde said,

May 4, 2009 at 2:41

To hell with these civil unions. Where’s the point in a relationship without the swearing, shouting, bad manners and throwing of crockery?
============================================================
Do not forget the calling up of all relatives and demanding the taking of sides.

I am so glad I never married.

But don’t force me to recognize a fag marriage

Oh, you’ll know it when you see it.

Believe me.

But don’t force me to recognize a fag marriage by government fiat when I don’t want to.

Well, if that FIAT-Chrysler merger goes through, we might all have to recognize a government-FIAT marriage.

BTW, kudos to righties for their daring attempt to revive the term “fiat” in regard to any federal action not including Bush Jr. monarcho-feudalism.

Wh th hll s “strn”?

N, ‘m nt strn, shthds. Fck y nd fck th lft. Mrns.

Oh, and we can take a shot for “fuck” too, since he clearly gets the same “Mommy told me not to but I’m still gonna!” buzz from it.

An example of an incivil union would be the Longshoremen.

Fuck you and fuck the left. Morons.

We hate you too, shitbag. Why are you even wasting your time here? Many of us are non-engineers incapable of even comprehending the numbers-based brilliance that your brief college engineering education in a fine university combined with your highly paid job lends you to scientifickistically analyze every aspect of human life, history, social arrangements, and of course, economics, so why don’t you start up a club more fit for insta-mansion douchebags? Your every syllable encapsulates so much engineering-based brilliance that we don’t even deserve to hear echoes of the enlightenment you bring.

Who the hell is “Austrain”?

You got the phonetics right. But it’s actually “Oz Train.”

It’s the train we take to see the Wizard. You know, follow the yellow brick tracks.

Beats walking.

Austrain? Here you go. You’re welcome.

Seriously, shouldn’t there have been a disemvowelling by now?

[Tintin adds: On it.]

Hy l Cd–

Wr y Hstry, nglsh, r thnc “stds” mjr n schl? Jst skng.

Johnny Boy, we can’t ALL have your Super-Good Engineering Degree Because Fuck You from Andrew Dice Clay University.

Q: Wht ds lbrl rts mjr sy n hs frst ntrvw t f cllg?

: Wld y lk frs wth tht?

B bck ltr t kck yr sss frm nthr P ddrss. Mrns.

You know nothing of my work.

Suddenly, John seems to be making sense. And his spelling has improved enormously!

Well, are you now seeing what these “so-called” activists really are? Intolerant hypocrits who want to shove, by physical force if necessary, their agenda down other’s people’s throats – no first amendment rights allowed if they don’t approve it.

“so called”

I’m just waiting til someone can point me in the direction of the scientific journal where someone proves that engineers not only are somehow ‘capable’ of explaining anything at all about society, but that they actually have. I mean, real scientists don’t seem to make those claims.

Other than that, the only evidence we have is that one weird libertarian engineer asserts that he’s more capable of explaining questions of human society given his awesome powers to use the equations he’s been taught, but we don’t have any published studies, or even any written arguments to refer to.

Good lord, you could even grant these weird chatterers some conceit that they are somehow generally superior to non-engineers (which ranges from construction workers to physicists and chemists and other real scientists), but if they appear unable to actually prove anything, it seems sort of a weird, pseudo-scientific argument.

Given the evidence available, I can only conclude based on the evidence of this one engineer that many are simply incapable of handling any sort of evidence and argument outside of their chosen micro-field — unless I’m wrong, and someone can point me to some actual evidence of engineering achievements in analyzing human society, I mean, outside of jacking off to “Atlass Shruggggs.”

Fr xmpl, 1 shld b prfctl @bl to cmmnkt wtht vwls, gvn th 3 cnsnt rt f s0 mn lngs.

I’m just waiting til someone can point me in the direction of the scientific journal where someone proves that engineers not only are somehow ‘capable’ of explaining anything at all about society, but that they actually have.

As an engineer, I’m waiting for engineers like that to STFU and stop sharing a profession with me.

It’s even more embarrassing than being on the same basic political side as PETA.

H33 h33 h33. 1t !s 2 l@ff.

Brandi said,

May 4, 2009 at 3:01

Seriously, shouldn’t there have been a disemvowelling by now?

[Tintin adds: On it.]

Hurray!

John makes so much more sense disemvowelled than he does otherwise.

I always wonder about how the concept of “refusing to accept” or “being forced to accept” gay marriage works.

Does it mean that if you’re a right wing postal worker, you have the right to refuse to deliver letters addresses to a same sex couple with the same surname? Does it mean that you refuse to acknowledge that your neighbors are married – no “happy anniversary” wishes. Does it mean that at dinner parties, you seat them as if they were two singles instead of spouses?

One presumes that its marriage that has all their panties in a twist, not co-habitation, since many loudly proclaim that’s its not homophobia, it’s all about the Sacred Marriage Vow.

So is the right wing really going all out just so that they won’t be forced to address party invitations to “The Smith Family” or buy wedding and anniversary gifts? Are they really staking their principles on their desire not to call two people by the same surname?

I mean – what does “not accepting” gay marriage mean in actual day-to-day reality?

I’ll be back later to kick you lib’s asses.

Too bad for you I’m not the gun-control kind of liberal.

I’ll be back later to kick you lib’s asses.

Does he just come back and do that whenever no one’s around? Because he’s been promising this all weekend, and I haven’t seen it yet.

Is it something we should have been able to notice?

More than just blowing off steam from their understandable frustration at the loss, the protesters vilified those on the winning side of the issue.

What a fucking lame! This m-f’in self-loathing mealy-mouthed wishy-washy (oh stop me before I hyphenate again!!!) simpering (thank you!) fool sounds like he’s scolding a bunch of college rowdies whose team just lost the big game. And oh those nasty thugs actually had the nerve to “vilify” the winning side–oh shit what cretins! Oh but wait since I a’nt a reader of gay pasty ass west or whatever that site is, I’ll bet our boi sweet-cheeks really laid into the supporters of prop 8 who equated us gayz with toxic pond scum monsters whose only goal was to vaporize the American family–I bet he gave it to those bigots and homophobes real good, didn’t he? Yeah right and I’m blessed Mary mother of god. . .

I mean – what does “not accepting” gay marriage mean in actual day-to-day reality?

Not sure myself, but I’ll ask my unicorn.

Man, John Troofiethentic is getting desperate. How long do you think it’ll take him to pedal to the nearest Super 8 that hasn’t kicked him out for using their wireless access?

You know, I’m starting to think a little lithium in the water wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Apparently crystal meth can not only cause one to lose one’s teeth but one’s vowels, too.

engineers are somehow ‘capable’ of explaining anything at all about society

Oh, but we are. Pretty much as good as anyone else, although a few [ahem] bad apples drag down our average.

I bet this pisses you off.

Nope. This has been another edition of simple answers…

MY SUPER ENGINEERING POWERS OF SUPREME RATIONALITY CAUSE ME TO BECOME ENRAGED AT THE THOUGHT OF GOVERNMENT DARING TO SANCTION THE WORD MARRIAGE BEING APPLIED TO NON-HETEROSEXUALS.

No, John, you can’t have vowels. Not yours.

I’m starting to think a little lithium in the water wouldn’t be a bad idea.

This kind of troll? Think heavier: plutonium.

J’onn J’onzz said,

Man, John Troofiethentic is getting desperate. How long do you think it’ll take him to pedal to the nearest Super 8 that hasn’t kicked him out for using their wireless access?

Shoelimpy’s shoes are limp. Maybe he can pedal out to the Econo Lodge.

Don’t you have to buy vowels, anyway?

What an @hole.

If you strike down the troll’s vowels, he shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

Marlowe said,

May 4, 2009 at 1:30

Why don’t we just take “febrile” out of the dictionary? I’ve never known anyone to use it in a sentence .

Ahem.

Maybe I didn’t even go to college. Maybe I’m just a fry cook. Thankfully, the principles of Western rationality demand that one argue one’s points, that the biographical origins of arguments aren’t the deciding factor.

Still, I harbor an admiration of real scientists, you know, ones who do science, not weirdos who think that they are doing science by proclaiming loudly “I AM A SKIENTISS YIELD TO MY OPINIONASHUNIFYIN”.

I’ve had the pleasure of working with real scientists and engineers; none of them had this mental illness we see on exhibit here. But maybe I got lucky, and the douchebag quotient was running low for pseudoscience.

Who else feels more Juan-Ted than usual?

~

Trolly is now a dog growling at anyone who walks by his yard, oblivious to the fact that they’re walking BY it because they don’t give a shit about it.
Also, I apologize to the febrile-American community.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©=FAGGOT said,
Silly troll. I’m (one of) the faggot(s) round these parts, but ittdgy aint. Idjit.

Also, didn’t I fire your ass when I was the (faggot) VP of Engineering?

Fries are coming up y’all. They’re good when they’re hot. We still mix in some of the beef tallow for flavor.

Oh man. Oh man. This reaction is rich.

I’m confused. When a troll has a total meltdown, do we call the paramedics or the doll hospital?

The vet.

Fail troll is a failure.

My major was something completely inferior, I think it was Women’s Studies of Interior Design as Expressed By Interpretive Dance.

I wish now it had been engineering, though, so that I could demonstrate to all the sense of psychological well-being I had achieved through my hard work.

I’m confused. When a troll has a total meltdown, do we call the paramedics or the doll hospital?

We call an old priest and a young priest.

Don’t you have to buy vowels, anyway?

Once the ‘net is privatized, you will.

Troll banned. Now off to watch Breaking Bad which starts shortly. . . .

Despite all my rage I am still just a twat in a cage.

Don’t you have to buy vowels, anyway?

Once the ‘net is privatized, you will.

In the Randian paradise, vowels buy you.

My major was something completely inferior, I think it was Women’s Studies of Interior Design as Expressed By Interpretive Dance.

Wonk!

Troll banned

Well, at least I can rest safely knowing that I had nothing to do with inspiring such rudeness. I sense, however, a gathering of turds who will take their vengeance soon, and we will wail and gnash our teeth and also Google to make sure that we actually are really sure about how one gnashes teeth.

This seems to be an appropriate time.

Grass fed local beef strip steak from the marmer’s farket. Grilled at very high temp in Pittsburgh style. Potato(e)s Delmonico. Roasted cauliflower (olive oyl, garlic and shallots, showered with chopped chives).

I made some kale soup with linguica and white beans with which we’ll start. A small composed salad will follow the entree and I’ve got some stubs of various stinky cheeses I can plate up.

Homemade chocolate toasted almond ice cream with crushed almond biscotti to finish.

Oh, yes. A tasty but cheap Bordeaux (I honestly don’t recall the name but it was $12 at Zupan’s).

I’ll admit it, I enjoyed watching that unfold. It’s not often you get to see a troll have such a complete meltdown.

El Cid’s chips were the crisp golden brown of sunburned bodies on expensive beaches. ITTDGY turns out chips like little paper bags full of pus.

we will wail and gnash our teeth and also Google to make sure that we actually are really sure about how one gnashes teeth.

Hmph, if you’d really studies interpretive dance you’d know pas de grincé les dents by heart.

And since we’re talking food, I had spring parsnip and leek soup, multigrain bread and a Titan IPA.

Me no rite guud.

Hmph, if you’d really studies interpretive dance you’d know pas de grincé les dents by heart.

I was distracted because I was also getting a double major in Inner City Ethnic Group Anger Poetry Applied To Third World Epidemiological Approaches to Appreciating A Cool Breeze From a Quiet Tunnel.

If I make four more posts, Mommy will love me!

Thankfully, though, I got to go to school for free, given that I told this really old, rich, retired engineer in my neighborhood that I was getting my engineering degree ’cause I wanted to be just like him. He was a cute old man, in a sort of paralytic way.

I’m betting John Troofiethentic touched a lot of “nervers” in his time. Only it wasn’t gay ’cause he was “the guy.”

I think “EVRYONE I DUN LIEK IZ A FAGS” is a “political view”.

I’m betting John Troofiethentic touched a lot of “nervers” in his time. Only it wasn’t gay ’cause he was “the guy.”

Also, it was the CPAC convention, and it doesn’t count because they were just honoring the Spartan traditions they had learned from that movie.

Jeez, it’s like the “ending” of Carrie — and every single fucking horror film made since.

Oh, the hell with this. PLEASE fuck me, El Cid.

Swiss cheese omelette, dark German multigrain toast and sauteed spinach. Anyone else?

I’ll have the deep-fried black pudding, please. Salt on the chips but no onegar. No realgar either.

Seems troofie/jonnie/thang has discovered the, um, allium router. Great idea but with unintended, regrettable, side effects.

This is an insult. I’m way stupider than Joe Biden.

yoo hoo! Jonnie deary! You can’t accost anyone for their academic achievement or lack thereof until you’ve posted your SAT scores. And don’t forget to mention your patented “puking on the upthrust” technique or whatever the fuck it is.

I’m a big queefbait, and trolls don’t get any of this. Cry, baby.

Aw man. I read through all these comments to see if GPW treated us to a drive by shrieking but all I got was some lame ass trollery.

Only it wasn’t gay ’cause he was “the guy” the pony had been gelded.

Lord I’m disgusting.

Pork saag–pork browned, then onions/garlic/ginger/can of diced tomatoes added to the baking dish w/ garam masala, turmeric, etc. Bake half an hour. Add defrosted/pureed spinach and finish baking. Top w/ fresh cilantro.

But get this: cabbage/broccoli slaw, w/ rice vinegar, white vinegar (ran out
of rice), and Ponzu (citrus-flavored soy sauce), scallion. W/ plain rice.

What I like about the disemvoweling process is, it makes the resulting text
look like the recipient is actually being, or at least sounding, strangled as he “speaks.”

Yay, namestealing!

If we’re comparing dinners, I ate a freezer-burned vegetarian chicken substitute patty. With barbecue sauce, though, so it wasn’t a total loss.

Being broke and lazy makes for awful dinners. I’ll get back to the interesting stuff soon.

Yogurt in the pork sauce. Sesame oil in the slaw.

That is all.

Well, I don’t know if I’d say functional… I mean, I’m mainly sitting on the couch in between voluntary fry cook shifts at the Center for Retired and Financially Successful Yet Still Bitter Engineers. They humor me, and tell me stuff, but when they’re not looking I steal their nice watches.

Folks, I do believe we have witnessed the ultimate troll spin into anger cycle. Yo, Jonnie kid, are you one of BIFF’s turds that miraculously survived?

On second thought, you’re way too young for that.

Yogurt in the pork sauce. Sesame oil in the slaw.

“Granny, does your dog bite?”
“No, child, no.”

How dare you try to steal my glory.

No. But then again, neither did you.

Dan – you left the ‘e’ off the end of ‘steal’.

Really, Cid. What WAS your best subject in school? Be honest, lib.

My best subject was Introductory Making Anonymous Posts On The Intertoobz Without Shouting About How My Degree Made Me Smarterest About Completely Unrelated Subjects. Really. It was. I didn’t even have to study.

Getting the right amount of salt on the fries, though, that took some doing. I spent long hard hours as an intern para-fryer just to get that down, and even then I had to polish the professor’s knob. No, really, he had an actual knob on his TV that needed polishing. Stop that.

Yo, Jonnie kid, are you one of BIFF’s turds that miraculously survived?

This one is much more Jeff K. than B1FF. I remember B1FF as being pretty good-natured and not calling everyone F4G0RT all the time.

Do you libs wanna know who I REALLY am?

We know who you really are; we just never imagined GayPatriotWest’s butt plug had internet access.

How many fry cooks do you know who know what “LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL” means — let alone how to spell it?

Yeah, but not everyone can combine Joe Biden’s hairplugs and that rigor mortis grin into a winning ticket. I mean, really, who would Sarah Palin have to blow around here to get elected?

Anybody give one?

I mean, really, who would Sarah Palin have to blow around here to get elected?

Reagan’s decaying corpse, on a live feed to the RNC.

Anybody give one?

I gave till it hurts.

Who would ever have guessed the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

I’m the Truth/the Authentic.

The deuce you say.

I’m the Truth/the Authentic.

And a great wave of indifference fills the room.

chirp

For the record:

‘Twas I @ 2:27, clearly identified as “Big John.”

I’ll be back later to kick you lib’s asses.

Too bad for you I’m not the gun-control kind of liberal.
===================================================
I’ll be back later to kick you lib’s asses.

Is it something we should have been able to notice?
====================================================
Trolled by a parody of a parody troll.

I’m the Truth/the Authentic.

Oh! There‘s a big surprise! I’m gonna have a heart attack and die from that surprise!

I’ll be back later to kick you lib’s asses.

I’ll be back later to lick you libs’ asses. Or anyone’s ass. I just like to lick ass.

“Granny, does your dog bite?”
“No, child, no.”

Old Xecky’s tryin’ ta tell us somethin’. But what? What?

Old Xecky’s tryin’ ta tell us somethin’. But what? What?

Nothing important.

You know, apparently a lot of people would watch Idiocracy and be convinced that the people talking funny are the two characters from the past.

I’ll later be asses to lib’s you kick back.

Well, if teh mighty troll didn’t convince us all of his superior mind & infallible arguments before now, I’m quite sure its latest treatise has humbled us as to its sterling standards of intellectual discourse.

Ah, the childlike howl of a sore loser … Veni, Vidi, Waaaaaaaaaaah!

Don’t you mean, “I’ll be back later to assess you libs’s kickbacks”? And don’t you want to tell me how I can get in on it?

so…any update from K-Lo on her LA weekend with Jonah?

Big John said,

Yesterday he was merely John. Not tough enough.

so…any update from K-Lo on her LA weekend with Jonah?

Oh shit – I’d forgotten about that.

I just threw up in my brain a little.

Apparently “Perky Puts [K-Lo] to Sleep” so her needs ‘d meet what a guy like Jonah can provide.

Sorry, didn’t mean to cause more nausea.

I think this whole trollfest has been very educational. This is the best they’ve got: “Joe Biden quotes Neil Kinnock 100 times and forgets to attribute it once.” Truly, truly pathetic. I predict “John” will be the republican nominee in 2012, because he’s the most intellectual of the lot.

Fixed that Chris Muir cartoon.
She ought to be dead Jim.

Lesley, Xecky et al:

Jonah/K-Lo the artist’s conception:

http://reallysmallfish.blogspot.com/2009/04/cornered.html

Posole rojo, bought at an illegal street food fair in East L.A last night, brought home and refrigerated until tonight. Garnished with chopped cabbage, radishes, and onions. Chile sauce for a little heat. Boiled, to ensure no porky flu infection, but in total denial of exposure to possible recent travellers from Mexico.

Cause the food was DAMN good!

And I’m sure the huaraches with huitlacoche and the quesadilla with flor de calabeza immunized me from any flu-like viruses you could possibly imagine.

Jonah/K-Lo the artist’s conception:

Golf clap!

I can’t decide if xtranormal is the best thing evar or the tool of the Deevil or both. I’m very happy to know they have a decent fart sound effect.

disemvowelment makes me smile every time.

meat what a guy like Jonah can provide.
Since you’re talking about food and all.

PeeJ said,

May 4, 2009 at 3:56 (kill)

This seems to be an appropriate time.

Grass fed local beef strip steak from the marmer’s farket. Grilled at very high temp in Pittsburgh style. Potato(e)s Delmonico.

Didn’t Delmonico’s close in, like, 1920? I mean, the real Delmonico’s?

Q: What does a liberal arts major say on his first interview out of college?

A: Would you like fries with that?

Wait, why would you ask someone if they’d “like fries with that” during an interview?

PeeJ –
Potato(e)s Delmonico? Didn’t Delmonico’s close, like, before Prohibition? Them’s some old potato(e)s.

PeeJ –
Potato(e)s Delmonico? Didn’t Delmonico’s close, like, before Prohibition? Them’s some old potato(e)s.

Jonah/K-Lo the artist’s conception

sweet, cute, likeable, especially with the fireplace and all. Hell this could be x-rated Amelie.

Make me one with everything.

When do we open the FEMA camps? Is this guy on the list?

I enjoyed his piece very much.

Especially as I worked its throbbing, vein-webbed shaft into my ass, the pulsating, velvety head stretched taut against my passion starfish, the lube glistening, then plunging into the forbidden depths, my harsh cry of pain and ecstasy ululating in time to the urgent thrusts that buried his scorching, beefy member in my bowels.

I think after all I won’t post this.

Oh damn!

Oh, I was going to say this earlier, about John Boy, but I couldn’t stop slowly shaking my head in disbelief. Has anybody pointed out to him that Sanitation Engineer doesn’t really count as an engineering discipline?

justme: YES BUT WHAT DEGREE DO YOU HAVE??!!! IT IS CRUCIAL TO MY BARELY HELD TOGETHER EGO THAT IT BE SOMETHING I CONSIDER INFERIOR AND NOT JOBWORTHY!!! TELL ME!!! TELLLLL MMMEEEEE!!!

My degree is in coming back later, with a minor in kicking you lib’s asses.

Well gosh. He sure showed us. I’m like all scared and stuff.

You know, when I think “ass kicking” the first image that pops into my head usually isn’t “engineer”.

Biker, bouncer, gang member, NFL linebacker, cop, marine, mafia enforcer, longshoreman, truck-stop waitress etc.

Those all tend to rank a lot higher on the ass-kicking scale than engineer, which falls somewhere between accountant and junior vice president of marketing.

Those all tend to rank a lot higher on the ass-kicking scale than engineer, which falls somewhere between accountant and junior vice president of marketing.

I guess nobody remembers the 1950s in small town America, where you were lucky to walk down a dark street without getting roughed up by a junior marketing VP.

I got scared pretty badly the other day.

I mistakenly wandered into the financial district and 4 older white guys in suits passed me on the sidewalk.

I was terrified they might take my pension, downsize me and send my job overseas.

I mistakenly wandered into the financial district and 4 older white guys in suits passed me on the sidewalk.

Were they wearing their green visors pointing slightly to the right? That’s the gangsta thing these days, I think.

Sorry, banksta.

Might have been. They were talking some kind of street slang with words like “Right-Sizing” and “Short term profit maximization through aggressive cost-cutting”.

Jeez, you were lucky to escape with your portfolio intact.

“Nice resource adequacy paradigm you’ve got there, be a shame if someone were to disincentivize your quota achievement optimization and reduce your up-side outside of your comfort zone…”

Gasp! You wouldn’t dare!

Huh? I passed out. What happened?

“Nice resource adequacy paradigm you’ve got there, be a shame if someone were to disincentivize your quota achievement optimization and reduce your up-side outside of your comfort zone…”

“The recent cost containment of the old line firms created a highly competitive business environment which right sized the reorganization so if you do disincentivize my quota achievement, some overtime will be required.”

*reaching for shiv*

The troll is an out-of-work engineer? That explains a lot.

The troll is an out-of-work engineer?

On the hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooole train!

They’re fixated and obsessed, I tellz ya. Via TPM,

Hebert said Sessions had claimed these groups “forced civil rights down the throats of people.”

Hebert is quoting, in 1986, Jeff Sessions @ some indeterminate date.

What do I gotta do to get an invite to dinner at PeeJ’s house?

Ask and ye shall receive.

Was that a request? Come on over.

I call nix on all johns til they start paying homage to old 60’s films with pimps in velvets suits.