There he goes again…
The Poor Man
The central front in the war on wingnuttery
It’s hard to type because my hands are so soft and mushy. I have to, like, squidge them carefully onto the keys. And that’s because…
[knock knock knock]
“Wha? Oh, Brad. Come on in; it’s open.”
“Hey! Sorry, I have to move kinda slowly because I am so freakin’ soft and brown.”
“I know, man. It sucks being chopped liver.”
Because you know, what are we? We’re chopped liver.
Chopped liver
In addition, it’s difficult to type and concentrate because…
“[Whistle-whistle-whistle… whoo-whoo! whoo-whoo…!]”
“Oh yeah, I hear that! [Whistle-whistle-whoostle… whoo-whoo! whoo-whoo…!]”
“That’s solid, dude!”
“Yeah man, I never get tired of whistling ‘Dixie.’
And then the [muffle-wuffle].”
“[Wuffle?]”
“[Murfle-wurfle. Muffa-wuffa-wuffa.]”
“Damn, I dropped my hat.”
“So talk up your sleeve, like this: [Wuffa-muffa-wuh!]”
[proot-proot!]
“Or sure, out of your ass, whatever — wait, look out!”
[BOOM!]
“BOOM”
“Aaah, my ass!”
“Sorry dude, I was hanging fire.”
BTW, sorry I’ve been absent lately. School has been kicking my ass, worse than ever before. I should hopefully be back at some point.
Soft, mushy, brown, and squidgy plus ass talk? Boy have you put me off p?t?, I may have to turn in my chardonnay liberal creds now. Or Sauternes liberal, if we’re talking foie gras.
I’ll have to admit, The Poor Man’s natural advantage of typing posts in complete, English sentences is difficult to overcome.
And what am I? I’m not even any of that.
Gavin is like fafblog, without monkeys, lobster, cheeze whiz, and transitions. I love how he speaks to me.
I’m saddened by the marginalization of the potted plant though. Look at it. IT’s so sad. It gets picked last, even after chopped liver and Dixie Whistling.
Maybe changing your name to “Planted Pot” would net you a bit more attention?
The potted plant talks about itself in the third person. Sad.
Perhaps if the plant weren’t so potted all the time, it might move up the list of choices.
It has a suspicious set of initials. Just sayin’.
The thread seems to have lost my post, which read:
You should make the ass explosion a weekly feature.