Phillip V. Brennan Blows Into Town With Category 5 Wingnuttery
Last week, Bill O’Reilly asked the following idiotic question: “[A]fter all the experts we’ve talked with, after all the research we’ve done, we still can’t find out who exactly sets the price of a gallon of gasoline. Which human being in America does that?”
Thankfully for Bill, NewsMax’s Phillip V. Brennan has an answer. A really, really stupid answer:
Who’s Really Behind Soaring Oil Prices?
Philip V. BrennanWhen you stand at the gas pump and watch those numbers spin by so fast you can’t read them, keep in mind that the soaring price of gasoline is no accident ? it is the work of a new fifth column.
And who are these evil “fifth columnists” that keep gas prices so high? That’s right: environmentalists. Or more specifically, people who claim to care about the environment but are really Communists. Seriously.
This fifth column is rich and powerful. Just one environmental group, the Sierra Club, boasts of an annual budget of tens of millions of dollars and almost 600,000 members.
Wow! The Sierra Club has a budget of tens of millions of dollars! How will the oil companies ever compete? I mean, last year poor Exxon-Mobil only pulled in a paltry net income of $25.3 billion. Chevron is in even worse shape- last year, they hauled in a measly $13.8 billion.
Their political contributions reach into the millions. A Sierra Club attack on a congressman’s environmental voting record, no matter how distorted, can be a kiss of death.
Yeah, the Sierra Club’s attack on George W. Bush’s environmental record absolutely doomed him in the last election.
The sudden rise in the cost of oil, which translated itself into pump prices was the application of the law of supply and demand ? there are more and more consumers of petroleum without a corresponding increase in the supplies of black gold. The Chinese, for example, have abandoned rickshaws in favor of gas-guzzling automobiles and their demand for oil is getting astronomical.
That was bad enough, but along came Katrina and Rita, both of which curtailed refining of crude oil supplies from here and abroad. That’s part of the story of our present situation. But it’s only a tiny part of the energy crisis now afflicting the U.S.
Actually, that’s not a tiny part of the problem. Right now, the cost of crude oil accounts for roughly one-half of the price of gas. When you couple high oil prices with a decline in production from refineries because of Katrina and Rita, you get high gas prices. It really is that simple.
Thanks to the environmental fifth column, the United States has been unable to take advantage of its own crude oil supplies. Abundant supplies of crude oil beneath the U.S. mainland and offshore, locked in shale deposits, and in Alaska’s North Slope remain untapped thanks to the environmentalists who have stopped development of our natural oil resources.
Sigh. If we drilled for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, it would take at least 20 years to reach peak production. That does little to affect gas prices today. Try harder, Phil.
The next time you stand at the pump and watch your hard-earned dollars go gushing into your car’s fuel tank, remember who did this to you. And this is hardly the least of the crimes committed by the environmental fifth column. In the name of the socialist doctrine they conceal within their breasts, they have imprisoned you and our fellow Americans in a web of destructive regulations that are slowly strangling out economy.
And that’s what they want. When the economy hits bottom, they have Karl Marx waiting in the wings to take charge.
Either that or Hitlery Clinton. Us eco-Marxists aren’t all that picky.
Damnation! That infernal twit is on to us! Run for your lives, fellow leftists!
He looks a hell of a lot like Robert Bork… perhaps this guy is his… good twin?
That’s a horrifying thought, now isn’t it?
Nah. He’s the slightly-less-evil “BIZARRO BORK.”
Not just Karl Marx, we have zombie Karl Marx waiting in the wings to take charge. When our destructive reguatory web are done strangling, our doctrinally socialist breasts will imprison America, oh yes. All hail zombie Marx!
Ah… so he’s what Bork would be if he hadn’t sold his soul to Satan in exchange for getting Reagan elected. Less zombie like, still evil.
And oh, yes: All Hail Zombie Marx! Hail the (zombie?) Proletariat!
No worse than following the zombie Jesus, I suppose…
I was thinking more of Harvey Korman myself.
http://www.triviatribute.com/ images4/harveykorman4.jpg
man, somebody always beats me to the good zombie comment. I was just about to chime in with some bullshit about pulling Karl out of the growth tank and raising the lightening rods. *sigh*
Oooo, good call with Korman. Perhaps Brennan is some sort of insane genetic experiment gone horribly horribly wrong.
Category 5 Spin
Tuesday, at a House hearing on federal state and local responses to Katrina, Mike Brown (aka, “Brownie”) – now a FEMA consultant, admitted to “a few specific mistakes”: First, I failed initially to set up a series of regular briefings…
Category 5 Spin
[Update: after you read this, see Category 5 Wingnuttery, at Sadly No, to find out Who is really behind soaring oil prices. And note that, since we will undoubtedly be hearing more of this, the title of this post is…
And who are these evil “fifth columnists” that keep gas prices so high? That’s right: environmentalists.
Only on the queers’, the blacks’ and the Jews’ days off.
I’m pretty sure the wingnuts are getting exponentially nuttier in the last few days. I heard someone today extolling the virtues of aborting all black babies.
Time to clean out the Annex and invite my American relatives up for an extended visit.
I love wingnut projection! This guy makes the Sierra Club out as some S.P.E.C.T.R.E.-like international syndicate. Bwahh-ha-ha-haaaa!!! Not that’s comedy gold!
Um, my last post was supposed to end, “Now that’s comedy gold!” Goddamned typos.
“Zombie Jesus”? Is this from some new Christian splinter group I haven’t heard of? If so, I may have to abandon my agnosticism and buy myself a St. George Romero medal.
“And who are these evil “fifth columnists” that keep gas prices so high?”
Just a guess, that would be a petroleum cracking column, a component of refineries, in which crude is separated into various petroleum-based substances.
Hey, there, Big Boy, want to see the socialist doctrine concealed behind my environmental breasts?
“And this is hardly the least of the crimes committed by the environmental fifth column..”
Not to pick nits, but “hardly the least” is actually a subtle double negative (call it a ‘double probably not’), so therefore stopping oil drilling in protected areas is the worst thing the environmentalists have done – at least by his grammar.
Oops, a runaway bold tag.
I wonder if the Marxist environmentalists are also behind the record high profits the gas companies showed last year. Those wily devils!
Next Easter, give everyone you meet a rousing “Happy Zombie Jesus day!”
That was Bill “Papa Needs A New Moral Soapbox!” Bennett, btw. I don’t know that he was actually *recommending* aborting black fetuses. It apparently just struck him as the appropriate “devil’s advocate” move to make. The sad thing is, he’s one of those allegedly smart guys they sold Dubya to us on the basis that he had and would listen to.
It’s a genuinely lame argument anyway, regardless of your actual intent in making it: If we killed off three billion humans at random, we’d get less crime, too.
In any event, I find a similar eau de brimstone, though I suspect in this case it’s just pure evil, about Mr Brennan’s comments regarding the Chinese and their rickshaws.
Possibly I’m hypersensitive to America First assholes, but I definitely got the sense that he feels that the Chinese are horning in on the uniquely American right to use a hugely disproportionate share of the world’s resources.
I mean, the bastards, wanting to drive cars and stuff! After we went to all the trouble of making these gigantic gas-guzzlers and everything!
“Astronomical” demand by the Chinese, btw, barely begins to rival the demand that Americans take for granted.
And I’d also like to laugh pretty hysterically over the notion that ANWR offers “abundant” oil supplies. Except that I have a migraine, and laughing just makes it worse. As do my other two possible responses to this guy, “crying”, and “barfing”.
Bummer, really. ‘Cause he’s earned at least one of them.
“I wonder if the Marxist environmentalists are also behind the record high profits the gas companies showed last year.”You’re getting warm there : secret charts in my possession show that both the oil giants and the communist regimes are fronts for the Rothschilds. Make that ‘communist regimes in temporary concealment’, the charts are fifty years old.
Korman? Bork? Are you guys nuts?
He’s obviously the Colonel, and been hitting the secret recipe just a little too hard.
He’s obviously the Colonel, and been hitting the secret recipe just a little too hard.
Or maybe fell into one of his own frialators*.
*Yes, that’s actually how it’s spelled
“they have Karl Marx waiting in the wings to take charge.”
The other day O’Reilly said Karl Marx “and those guys” brought in communism in the 20’s
Karl Marx died in 1883.
Scarey! Not only is he a commie, he’s also the Living Dead!
The money pouring into your tank certainly wouldn’t be because of the gas-guzzling uber-SUV you drive to Safeway and back, would it?
No no no nonononono, heavens no.
Zombie Karl Marx and his army of treehugger minions will rue the day when they confront Vampire Lenin and his nefarious band.
And all will tremble at FrankenStalin’s monster’s Great Purge.
Fucking Commies!
Sheeeet. Since we’re reanimating century-old political leaders, before they Take Over Teh Wurld? we’ll have a steel cage pro-wrestling match on Pay-Per-View on Halloween (eve).
SUNDAY-SUNDAY-SUNDAY!!
NO-RULES NO-MERCY NO-BODILY ORGANS
IT’S THE COLD WAR ZOMBIESTYLE:
KARL “Plan 9 Proleteriat Punisher” MARX
VS.
ABRAHAM “Seven Score and Four Hours Ago” LINCOLN
in a
STEEL-CAGE DRAG-OUT NO-BONES-BARRED
UNDEATHMATCH!!
They’re coming to Pay-Per-View this Halloween near YOU… for BRAAAAINS!
I love how captain america here is concerned about the size and scope of the sierra club as compared with, say every other fucking lobbying group in washington. Hell, the zombie schaivo had more of a pull on the governement than the sierra club.
They just gutted the endangered species act a day or two ago in favour of private developers. An act that included the bald eagle… And people like this made it happen.
All of you get a life.