Sunday School With Michael Medved
I hadn’t been over to Clown Hall to visit Michael “Porn-stache” Medved for a while, so I sashayed over there looking for something to blog and, boy, was I in luck. Medved was getting all torn up about the nerve of that atheist, crypto-Muslim baby-killer Barack Obama daring to open his mouth at the National Prayer Breakfast. You know his column is going to be good with this opener:
No one wants to stir up controversy regarding an annual gathering meant to unify religious believers …
Which of course means that, in fact, this is exactly what Medved intends to do. And he starts out by accusing Obama of being a bad Christian, even though Michael is about as much an expert on Christianity as I am, say, on heterosexual S&M fetishes or the best dog restaurant in Seoul.
For instance, the President of the United States … made a glaring mistake of Biblical attribution. At the center of his speech, Mr. Obama declaimed: “We know too that whatever our differences, there is one law that binds all great religions together. Jesus told us to ‘love thy neighbor as thyself.’” Actually, it was God the Father, or Moses, or the anonymous compilers of the Old Testament who communicated that commandment at least 600 years before Jesus.
Now normally SadlyNo! is not a place where we engage in Biblical exegesis, mostly because it takes precious time away from promoting gay abortion and making fun of Jonah Goldberg’s face mullet, but, hey, it’s Sunday. So, let me pull out my trusty Bible from under my collection of “art” books and magazines. Why, lookie here, I turned right to Matthew 22:39 and there was Jesus saying exactly what Obama said he said.
Medved also thinks that Obama is a bad Jew:
ABOVE: Publicity still for “Medved Does
Miami”After explaining what “Jesus told us” Mr. Obama went on: “The Torah commands, ‘That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow.’” Actually, these worthy sentiments appear nowhere in the Old Testament. But they do echo a famous passage of the Talmud (Shabbat 31a). …
In any event, he [sic] President’s use of the word “Torah” in this context should have raised red flags among his editors and speechwriters. One of the most toxic misunderstandings concerning the relationship between Christianity and Judaism involves the mistaken belief that Christians center their faith on the Bible, while Jews base their belief on a separate book called “the Torah” which, like the Koran, includes a great deal of distinctive, alien, non-Biblical teaching. In fact, the word Torah (as defined by any dictionary) refers in its primary meaning to the Five Books of Moses (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy) rather than any other arcane religious teachings.
Oh, Sweet Moses on a Segway, so impeach him already. What kind of idiot gets the Talmud and the Torah confused? Next thing you know Obama will misspell Deuteronomy or forget how many wives Abraham had. And, it’s a slippery slope from there to forced necrophilious marriage.
But wait, Medved does a quick little side-step:
Occasionally, Orthodox Jews do use the term “Torah” to refer to the full accumulation of scripture, law, tradition and interpretation – including the Talmudic passage cited by the President …
Now to a normal person this would kind of let Obama off the hook for his alleged error, but Rabbi Medved is hardly normal:
… but the Reform and Conservative Jews who constitute Mr. Obama’s most fervent supporters resist and contest that application of the word.
Worst. Save. Ever.
Far more significantly, he took [the] notion of moral equivalence for all religions (and no religion) to a dubious and in fact dangerous extreme in his talk’s most noteworthy single passage. “We subscribe to different accounts of how we came to be here and where we’re going next – and some subscribe to no faith at all. But no matter what we choose to believe, let us remember that there is no religion whose central tenet is hate. There is no God who condones taking the life of an innocent human being. This much we know.”
With this sweeping simplification, the President of the United States offered instant exoneration to those who follow the false Gods of fanatical Islam or, for that matter, bloodthirsty Marxism.
And if we’re going to call Marxism a religion, lets not forget the Bajoran religion. Obama exonerated them too, filthy Klingon that he is.
Now, of course, I might be inclined to agree with Medved that this is a sweeping simplification if Medved didn’t stop with his only two examples. After all, there is this:
137:8 O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Religion of peace and sanctity of life and all that. And if any of you want to get offended that I’m knocking religion, you should know I’m a card-carrying Episcopalian, but you probably would have guessed that, what with our gay bishops and everything.
Did he mention Jimmy Carter? Medved fucking hates Jimmy Carter.
Torah! Torah! Torah!
Why will Obama not cite Gilgamesh? Has he ignored the lessons of Enkidu? Does he think we are willing to walk further into the cave, and yet further into the cave? Is Obama himself not akin to Utnapishtim having to tell us of the Great Flood?
Um. OK. So Medved writes a column to nitpick Obama’s quoting of scriptures? Except he gets it wrong? What, can’t the guy even do a keyword search through the online KJV before he clicks “publish”?
It makes the stink worse when you stir it about, friend
SanchoMichael.And if any of you want to get offended that I’m knocking religion
Why even offer this qualifier? If people don’t like you quoting from their holy book, tell them to get another fucking holy book.
Occasionally, Orthodox Jews do use the term “Torah” to refer to the full accumulation of scripture, law, tradition and interpretation – including the Talmudic passage cited by the President[.]
Orthodox Jews like M. Medved, for example.
bloodthirsty Marxism
You know, you can lead a Marxism to blood, but you can’t make it drink.
The fact is, liberals have nothing to say about religion, nothing. They are all anti-religion and hate God, as their actions prove in USA today. So shut up.
Could we see the evidence for Reform and Conservative Jews being Mr Obamas most fervent supporters?
Could we see any evidence of Medved’s brain cell?
Speaking of right wing racists (but I’m being tautological), here’s a transcript of a letter I wrote to Hal Turner’s former handler at the FBI. Turner and I are just starting up a flame war and I will not rest until that fat fuck has been booted off Blogger.com and put up on federal charges for threatening to assassinate and to call for the assassination of 246 congressmen and congresswomen.
If you would follow the link to Turner’s website and have it flagged as violent, objectionable or whatever, I’d sure appreciate it. Turner thinks he can afford to laugh at me.
He thought wrong. That fat fuck got on my radar screen and may God have mercy on his sick soul because I sure as Hell won’t.
OMG! Obama mixed up the Torah and the Talmud! As a Conservative Jew who has been leaning towards secularism as of late, I was going to let it slide, but thanks to Mr. Medved I am so smitten with blind rage that I’m going to join him in calling for the impeachment of Barry Hussein Malcolm Osama X!
Palin/Plumber ’12!
as their actions prove in USA today. So shut up.
Which edition? I’ve got today’s, not seeing anything? Am I missing the Anti-Religion and Hate God section?
What about Ishtar and Marduk? Or was that Esther and Mordecai? I can never remember. And Mithras! He has to cite Mithras! He is, after all, a Manichean heretic. Well he would be if any of those fucking idiots like Medved and his readers knew what the fuck that meant so they could label him as such.
PS – Obama on Republicans and bipartisanship: I’m an optimist, not a sap.
BWAHABWAHAHA
false Gods of fanatical Islam
Medved obviously didn’t want to stick “fanatical” in there. He just wanted to call Allah a false God, period (even though this is of course the same God of Christians and Jews). Would he characterize his republican brethren as worshiping “false gods of fanatical Christianity?” Sadly, no!
Nice takedown, Tintin. I laughed.
One question, though: This Medved guy — who is he? Used to be some jerkoff with this name I’m pretty sure who did really asinine reviews of “family” movies when my kids were young — would warn parents sternly not to take their children to see “Ghostbusters” and other stuff that we’d already seen with our kids about 100 times — anyway, is that the same douchebag? So — his credentials for writing about religion OR Obama or anything really, including movie reviews, are what exactly? Okay that’s more like three questions.
Except as I read it, Obama is denying the terms religion and God to those who would use it for bloodshed, thus doing the exact opposite of what Melved is accusing him of. Yes it’s pap and ignores our own worser demons from our history, but yeeesh I don’t know how someone reads a paragraph of standard inter-religious tolerance boilerplate and believes that such a thing grants absolution to fanatical Islam and bloodthirsty Marxism.
Jesus was quoting Leviticus 19:18. There is actually a big, massive difference in exegesis between Judaism and Christianity on that matter. I was looking at pictures of a settler demonstration in Israel and half of them had these signs with Leviticus 19:18 on them and since the purpose of the demonstration was to promote an anti-arab boycott I couldn’t figure out where “love they neighbor” fit in there. I guess that’s a lost in translation thing, because Orthodox Judaism has the verse as “love your fellow” and fellow means your fellow Jew.
One of the most toxic misunderstandings concerning the relationship between Christianity and Judaism involves the mistaken belief that Christians center their faith on the Bible, while Jews base their belief on a separate book called “the Torah” which, like the Koran, includes a great deal of distinctive, alien, non-Biblical teaching.
Right, because anything non-biblical is weird and illegitimate, as any Jew will tell you. It seems to me that a greater cause of toxic misunderstanding nowadays is this assumption that evangelical neocon nutcases get to speak for the greater interests of Israel and of Judaism, and all they have to do is tack “Judeo” onto “Christian.” After all, Jews are just Pat Robertson – Jesus, right? Easy upgrade, won’t take five minutes.
“bloodthirsty Marxism”
Michael, Michael, you FOOL. Marxism isn’t about vampires. Marx used vampire imagery and metaphor to talk about capitalists. We’ve discussed this.
Have you learned nothing from True Blood?
12 When he went before Hillel, he said to him, ‘What is hateful to you, do not to your neighbour:13 that is the whole Torah, while the rest is the commentary thereof; go and learn it.’
So sure, it’s in the Talmud, but Hillel himself says that it’s the message of the whole Torah, so…. HILLEEEEEEL!
and some subscribe to no faith at all
Hey, another shout-out to all the non-believers out there!
137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Is this a prophecy about Iraqi soldiers snatching Kuwaiti infants from incubators and hurling them to the floor? Because they did seem pretty cheerful about that, or would have, if it had happened.
and some subscribe to no faith at all
I used to have a gift subscription to a faith, but I didn’t renew when it ran out so they starting sending me no faith at all.
is that the same douchebag?
I would imagine it is. See, for example, Bérubé on Medved on Happy Feet.
I guess that’s a lost in translation thing, because Orthodox Judaism has the verse as “love your fellow” and fellow means your fellow Jew.
Speaking of lost in translation, I have a good friend who watched the Obama inaguration in Hebrew from Tel Aviv. The part where he said something like “we cannot forget the sacrifices of our forefathers” was translated as, “we must remember the [animal] sacrifices of the ancestors.” The reaction ranged from confusion to uncontrollable laughter.
Ah, good old Michael “Slavery and the Native American Genocide Weren’t All That Bad” Medved.
“the [animal] sacrifices of the ancestors.”
And they’re coming back. When the Antichrist (TM) rebuilds the Third Temple in Jerusalem, it will become the world center of Judaism (again) and once more be the site of animal sacrifice.
That’s the bad news, at least for the animals. The good news is, They’re edible! But I think only by the high priests.
More importantly, what about Yog-Sothoth, or Nyarlathotep? And Mr. Obama totally ignores the murderous Cthulhu cultists!
!THE DUDE IS FULL OF CHAOS!
“the [animal] sacrifices of the ancestors.”
Hee hee
There is no end to the amusement that is translation difficulties. Case in point, the Mitsubishi Wanker.
They’re both wrong. The first ever use of the “Golden Rule” was a sheep herder on the shores of the Mediterranean Sea, trying to convince a band of Pirates that NOT killing him and eating his sheep was going to pay off handsomely for them later on.
Nearly 3000 years earlier!!!!
EPIC FAIL Medved!
Medved can just go buy himself a big bag of Dick’s. (apostrophe appropriate)
http://failblog.org/2009/02/15/deli-fail/
Not as bad as taxes anyway.
Rodney 1985:2, “They say “Love thy neighbor as thy self.” What am I supposed to do? Jerk him off too?”
Episcopalian! Man, they are still around? I thought they splintered into a hundred different directions once teh gays started to lead them.
“Jesus told us to ‘love thy neighbor as thyself.’”
Actually, it was God the Father, or Moses, or the anonymous compilers of the Old Testament who communicated that commandment at least 600 years before Jesus.
Can’t he narrow it down to just one of these possiblities?
I think it’s important. Who was it, God, Moses or some “anonymous compilers.”
You’d think biblical research would have progressed farther than that.
Next thing you know Obama will misspell Deuteronomy
If, for instance, he mis-spelled it as Deuterostomy, he would citing the words of the prophet Pharyngula before you knew it.
“Dog restaurant in Seoul”
I’m guessing you saw that “Cooking in the Danger Zone” episode about dog-consumption in South Korea. How wonderfully strange it was!
I thought Jesus was god the father, or partly, or something.
Is this a prophecy about Iraqi soldiers snatching Kuwaiti infants from incubators and hurling them to the floor?
“Happy shall he be, that maketh up stories about dashing thy little ones against the stones, that he may get his war on.
“Ba-doodle boo yeah, libs. God out.”
And I guess Obama can’t quote anything that Jesus said unless he gives the primary reference.
“As Jesus, quoting God or Moses or some anonymous compiler said, ‘love thy neighbor as thyself…’ “
I thought Jesus was god the father, or partly, or something.
Yeah that does get fuzzy, but I think you’re right. The Father, The Son, and The Holy Compilers are supposed to be interchangeable.
One of the most toxic misunderstandings … involves the mistaken belief that … Jews base their belief on a separate book called “the Torah” which, like the Koran, includes a great deal of distinctive, alien, non-Biblical teaching.
Sounds like Medved would have been happy if Obama had instead implied that Jews base their belief on a separate book called “the Talmud” which, like the Koran, includes a great deal of distinctive, alien, non-Biblical teaching.
There is no God who condones taking the life of an innocent human being.
I am waiting for Obama to weigh in upon the dietary preferences of true Scotsmen.
There is no God who condones taking the life of an innocent human being.
Yes, but when your benchmark for “Deserving of an eternity of torture in Hell” is “Didn’t worship me enough while alive”, it’s hard to put too much stock in your definition of “innocent”…
Also, in that sentence, Medved wrote “There is no God”. Burn him! Burn the heretic!
http://failblog.org/2009/02/15/deli-fail/
That Fail Blog is pretty funny. I like the Titanic shot. The stairs are also good. That image and others of fucked-up architecture/home improvement circulated recently in an email forward.
“One question, though: This Medved guy — who is he? Used to be some jerkoff with this name I’m pretty sure who did really asinine reviews of “family” movies when my kids were young — would warn parents sternly not to take their children to see “Ghostbusters” and other stuff that we’d already seen with our kids about 100 times — anyway, is that the same douchebag?”
I believe so. Medved wrote some books mocking bad movies once upon a time: The 50 Worst Films Ever Made, the Golden Turkey Awards, and (I think) a couple of others. I read some of them as a kid. He somehow managed to slime his way onto the PBS movie review show Sneak Previews as a co-host after Siskel and Ebert left the program for greener pastures. And in more recent years, he seems to be making a cozy living off the Wingnut Whiny Titty-Baby Gravy Train, which (apparently) allows him to shamelessly lie through his teeth on any given subject. As the piece quoted here aptly demonstrates.
This Medved guy — who is he?
Oh, that hurts.
I will say that this doesn’t sound terribly peaceful:
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.'”
Mathew 10: 34-36.
Of course, just a few pages before that in the very same Gospel, we’re told:
“Love your enemies and pray for your persecutors; only so can you be children of your heavenly Father, who makes his sun shine on good and bad alike, and sends the rain on the honest and the dishonest. If you love only those who love you, what reward can you expect? Surely the tax-gatherers do as much as that. And if you greet only your brothers, what is there extraordinary about that? Even the heathen do as much. There must be no limit to your goodness, as your heavenly Father’s goodness knows no bound.”
So, my advice to Medved would be to start loving him some Obama, and go invest in a sword for some good ol’ fashion patricide.
No one should forget the Comedy Gold from last year, Michael Medved and American DNA
My pet dick just died.
Also, in that sentence,
MedvedObama wrote “There is no God”.Fecksed.
Another kiwi said,
February 15, 2009 at 21:53
Well, as if you would recognize me!!!!!!
Medved is seeing his project of manufacturing Muslim enemies for the United States slipping away, and he doesn’t like it one bit. No, sireee!
Bring back Abu Ghraib and do not close Guantanamo. The JudeoChristian god will not approve.
Lol!
The Holy Compilers are supposed to be interchangeable.
Well, as long as you stay away from C++. They still don’t have a name mangling standard, the bastards.
That’s you with the hat and braces, right?
The Holy Compilers need more code optimisation. I mean, 3-1/2 pages of Leviticus devoted to describing in fanatical detail the precise number of skin lesions that constitute leprosy. TL;DR.
He looks like a Chuckle brother. The one the other two don’t talk to.
gcc -O3 -funroll-loops leprosy.c
(by the way, speaking of compiler optimization any Linux geeks remember this site? Seems that these days most of those folks have gone to Ubuntu.)
“Ask your doctor if Mykoc is right for you.“
Does it contain American DNA?
I can’t wait for Medved and BigHollywood idiots to see the upcoming R-rated adaptation of Watchmen. I guessing there’ll be apoplectic fits aplenty.
Does it contain American DNA?
I thought you were the doktor. You should be able to determine these things.
Medved is really a neoDruid. He worships the Bushes.
S.C. is not a doktor on this blog.
He has office hours elsewhere, apparently.
I believe this is the equivalent of golf time for him.
Laugh it up, liberal intelligentsia. Your willful misapprehension of my column’s thesis only further betrays your private disdain of Absolute Truth in an Age of Terror.
Your left hand cries “Misogyny!” while your right secretly enables the greatest tyranny to womankind, Islamofascism. It will indeed be a rueful day when the blood-drenched crescent is raised on this soil by Mohammad’s most fanatical children, and the fruits of liberalism are truly born, a theocracy more horrific than you could possibly imagine.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Jesus told us to ‘love thy neighbor as thyself.’” Actually, it was God the Father, or Moses, or the anonymous compilers of the Old Testament who communicated that commandment at least 600 years before Jesus.
So fucking what? Jesus did SO say it too! Barry X didn’t SAY Jeezus said it FIRST! And Buddha said basically the same goddam thing in his time and part of the world as well anyway, you stupid sack of uselessness! Grrrrr. Amen.
A Rueful day. Geez I am always teh last to know about new public holidays.
Your left hand cries “Misogyny!” while your right secretly enables the greatest tyranny to womankind, Islamofascism.
Wow, my hands are crazy. CRAZY TALENTED, that is!
Correct me if I’m wrong, but TownHall columns have theses in the same way that Krusty the Klown’s TV show is Emmy material.
I think we all know what Michael’s right hand is doing.
My left hand frequently cries “misogyny!” while my right hand secretly enables the greatest tyranny to womankind, the vacuum cleaner.
Your left hand cries “Misogyny!” while your right secretly enables the greatest tyranny to womankind, Islamofascism.
I will stick to the classic version of the Punch-&-Judy show, thank you very much. Damn these liberal “re-imaginings”.
All I know is that on that rueful day when a theocracy more horrific than I could possibly imagine raises its blood-drenched crescent, the first thing I will think is damn, why didn’t Michael Medved warn us?
The first think I will think will be “Hang on, that doesn’t look like Putin’s head”.
I’ll wonder who ruined breakfast.
Damn Clownhall requires registration to comment and there’s no way I’m giving them my personal info. I got some snarkulus I want to drop on Medved’s sorry ass.
here’s one of the (many) hateful things about religiousity. so which one is it? because the three claims are, ummmm, different. see, one claim is just patently stupid (that something of self and other-proclaimed omnipotence wrote a book at stupid at the old testament is just beyond absurd). the second claim is possible but unlikely–there is simply no historical evidence for a moses type to have really existed. there is tons of evidence that moses types existed in sumerian and other myths already however. and the last one suggests that some guys who lived a long time ago said some things that had common sense imbedded. of course those same guys also said you should kill your daughter and beat your slave only this much and so on. they were clearly ignorant assholes who should never be taken at face value as they were dirty and insane most of the time.
but hey, it’s religion, so that phrase just floats by.
and p.s., not to be asshole (he said, poised to be an asshole) but liberal episcopalianism is just shitty as all other made up claims about the shape of the universe and our place in it. nothing wrong with the real, dude.
And if we’re going to call Marxism a religion, lets not forget the Bajoran religion. Obama exonerated them too, filthy Klingon that he is.
That’s no Klingon, that’s the Emissary!
How do losers like Medved keep earning a living? The next time he pens something mildly interesting will be the first time. Who funds Clown Hall? Scaife? The Olin Foundation? Coors? There’s not a single decent writer or original thinker at the site. Somebody has to be subsidizing all this douchebaggery.
and p.s., not to be asshole (he said, poised to be an asshole) but liberal episcopalianism is just shitty as all other made up claims about the shape of the universe and our place in it. nothing wrong with the real, dude.
Do not taunt the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
If you disagree with my conclusion of who wrote one of the central tenets of my religion (“love thy neighbor as thyself”) I will kill you.
Do you mind a brief delay before the rueful day when we raise the blood-drenched crescent on this soil? At the moment we’re fully occupied with raising red flags among Obama’s editors and speechwriters.
To be fair, Episcopalianism isn’t so bad for a mainstream patriarchal Christian denomination. At least they throw the doors open (a bit) and admit that as long as you’re basically a pretty good person and you think Jesus was a pretty good guy who had a few decent things to say, then you probably won’t burn in eternal hell.
Now them Southern Baptists, on the other hand — whooeee! Wowsers.
It will indeed be a rueful day when the blood-drenched crescent is raised on this soil by Mohammad’s most fanatical children…
You’d have to be pretty fanatical to live for 1400 years. Or are they…
Zombie Mohammad Children
OK, so Cheesis K. Rist wants us to kill all the Jews because they don’t kiss his ass, & Madman Muhammad wants us to kill all the Judeo-Christians because they don’t kiss Muhammad’s ass, right? (Very rational.)
I’m thinking the compilers aren’t doing a very good job w/ the holy books, because after the next delusional schizophrenic street-corner preacher fools another billion or so humanoids, we’ll all be killing each other. And deservedly so. Let’s get started. My gawd is a bigger shit than yours!!!
Human history in a nutshell, there MB
Is that you M.B., or just the thetans talking?
“…but the Reform and Conservative Jews who constitute Mr. Obama’s most fervent supporters …”
Soooo: what other kind of Jews are there?
Medved’s colleague Giles brings eht funny:
Get it?
And I talk to the filth and I walk to the door
I’m knee deep in myself
But I want to get more of that stuff
Of that stuff
The thetans talking
And I want
And I want
The thetans talking
Some thetan talk
Yeah, right after the “I’m the Messiah, & you’d best kiss my butt 24/7 or you’ll go to HELL!!” thing, that’s one of the most toxic “misunderstandings” in the Judeo-Xian dynamic.
Medved is a creepy little weasel. Essentially he sells out his “faith” to the X-ians who outnumber him, & then blathers about the importance of his belief.
Hypocrisy, thy name is faith.
“…and some subscribe to no faith at all…”
I used to subscribe to a major religion, but they kept raising their rates and giving me less quality religion, so I switched to satellite religion.
One of the most toxic misunderstandings concerning the relationship between Christianity and Judaism involves the mistaken belief that Jews center their faith on the Torah, while Christians base their belief on a separate book called “the New Testament” which, like the Koran, includes a great deal of distinctive, alien, non-Biblical teaching.
Fecked.
“and some subscribe to no faith at all”
I used to have a gift subscription to a faith, but I didn’t renew when it ran out so they starting sending me no faith at all.
Cancel my subscription to the resurrection.
“…There is no God who condones taking the life of an innocent human being…”
Hey, what about Odin! Now that’s what *I* call blood-thirsty! Eat your heart out, Marx.
Fozzetti: I only play one on tee vee, but there are also Orthodox Jews, much more traditional/conservative, where you start edging into serious Torah worship, & beanies for the boys/wigs for the ladies territory, though the “cover your hair, it drives men mad” group are pretty small, really.
Send my credentials to the
House of detention.
So here’s the weird thing. By misattributing a statement to the Torah, Obama downplays the differences between the Jewish & Christian versions of sky-fairy worship (that business of the Talmud & New Testament). An understandable error, since he’s speaking to some sort of ecumenical meeting. So Medved corrects him, brings in the Talmud, and then accuses Obama of reviving incendiary issues and highlighting religious incompatibility.
When I say “weird thing”, I mean “totally predictable whiney-ass projection”.
I haven’t had this much fun reading since, oh, I don’t know…when? I love the post. I love the comments. Big smiles and loud guffaws.
Meanwhile, MedVed looks just like a blind date I had who showed up in white doubleknit disco clothes and shiney white patent leather shoes. No shit. I said, “You’re kidding, right?” And he said, “What?”
There is no God who condones taking the life of an innocent human being
There are few gods who will not waive that “innocent” requirement. Especially gods who claim their own created-in-their-image spawn are born in original sin, & therefore presumed guilty.
(Christian nation, my ass.)
showed up in white doubleknit disco clothes and shiney white patent leather shoes. No shit.
Was this in 1975 or, say five or six yrs. ago? Bad move either way, of course, but the humor factor varies w/o more info.
There is no God who condones doubleknit disco clothes and shiny white patent leather shoes.
I think that it is Porculus the god of disco clothes
Submitted for your approval.
Did someone say “satellite religion”?
WordPress does not trust comments on “satellite religion” that link to the Wikipedia “Maze of Death” entry.
There is no God who condones doubleknit disco clothes and shiny white patent leather shoes.
There is, however, a hell for those who wear them. And it’s pretty funky.
Today I learned our good friend Righteous Bubba is “apparently, immune to stain of historical knowledge.” I don’t know if this is a Good Thing or a Bad Thing.
Taking the life of an innocent human being? Fuck yeah! What kind of sacrifice do you call it, taking the life of a guilty human being?
Speaking of lost in translation,
Huge disappointment, I thought. I do love Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanssen, and this film certainly was pretty to look at (really caught the electricity of Tokyo at night), but there basically was no plot; the story just went nowhere. Also, I just couldn’t muster much empathy for the main characters- I mean, who goes to Tokyo and spends all their time moping about in their hotel? Depressives, that’s who.
Oh, I’m sorry. I thought this was a movie thread. It’s Medved, right?
Jesus told us to ‘love thy neighbor as thyself.’”
What, I should give him a hand job?
It’s Medved, right?
Disco.
(Religion was sooo 15 minutes ago!)
The Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Transubstantion Linguine With A Dash of Thy Little Ones
3 fresh roma tomatoes
1 6oz can of tomato paste
12oz whole wheat linguine
1 large sweet yellow onion
9oz mixed slices of red, yellow, and green bell peppers
Oregano, basil, garlic, gumbo file
Children of Blasphemers (number, to taste)
bla bla bla….
Submitted for your approval.
I’m frightened.
“Transubstantiation” dagnab it.
*snicker*
Well said. Look, Medved, if you’re going to call the god of Islam false, it doesn’t help to throw in the qualifier “fanatical.” In for a penny, in for a pound, dude.
Bloodthirsty Marxism is a religion now? Is that a more extreme fundamental form of socialism, and does that make socialism a religion too?
And who IS the “false God of bloodthirsty Marxism”? I’m confused. Help, anyone?
I’ve been unchurched for some decades now, but maybe in my latter years it’s time to begin to investigate this god thing. Maybe one of them has ALL THE ANSWERS after all.
But first I have to learn to tell the false gods from teh real ones……
3 fresh roma tomatoes
1 6oz can of tomato paste
12oz whole wheat linguine
1 large sweet yellow onion
I find myself singing this recipe, to the tune of “Love is the Drug”.
Three fresh ro-ma toma-toes
Take my place at the singles bar…
I hope this does not make me a
disco fanbad person.But first I have to learn to tell the false gods from teh real ones……
Pretty easy, actually.
The real ones are the ones who make their presence known in clear and unambiguous ways so that there is no way one could reasonably claim that they don’t exist.
All the others are false.
false Gods of fanatical Islam
On the topic of nitpicking a statement…
There’s just the one, isn’t there?
I mean, I’m fairly certain they make a big thing out of the prospect that there is but one Allah, and Muhammad is his prophet. In fact, this is why they go to the trouble of considering Jews and Christians as “People of the Book”, since they each follow Allah, the one God, in their own confused non-Muslim way.
And who IS the “false God of bloodthirsty Marxism”? I’m confused. Help, anyone?
Well, since he’s so far the only one we’ve mummified and turned into a tourist attraction, I guess Lenin? I mean, it’s the same compulsion that drives Roman Catholics to travel to churches to touch a saint’s finger bone and wonder at a cheesecloth with a stain on it.
Thank you for that. I never thought of my cat as a god, but she certainly makes her presence known.
Susy the goddess. I like it. Works for me. I never thought it could be so easy!!!
I am indebted, sir.
As someone who travels for a living, I thought Lost in Translation perfectly captured the alienation you sometimes feel when you’re on the road.
Sitting in a hotel bar somewhere that looks pretty much like every other hotel bar you’ve ever been in wondering “Just how the fuck did I get here“?
I love my job and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but sometimes strange things happen like waking up in a hotel somewhere and forgetting what city you’re in.
Umm, Mao is also mummified. I stood in line for about an hour to see him.
Marxism must be a polytheistic religion.
Or is one of them a false god? This is getting complicated. Wonder if we could take this question up with Mr. Medved, who seems to know a LOT about the subject.
Well, yeah, you shouldn’t confuse the Torah with the Talmud. While lowercase “torah” basically means “teaching”, and the Bible itself often uses “torah” in that sense (since many of the books there were written before “the” Torah was canonized — but this is just interpretation, since Hebrew doesn’t have capital letters), it’s not actually right or defensible, in post-Biblical Hebrew, to attribute a quote to the Torah when it’s actually from the Talmud (I think that particular quote is by Hillel, but I’m not sure — hey, Wikipedia says I’m right). That’s an actual mistake by Obama.
Not that it means anything, obviously. People make mistakes. Big whoop.
Of course, just because some rabbi said it and wrote it into the Talmud doesn’t mean it became a canonized central tenet of the entire world of Judaism and therefore spread around the world to the other cultures of which Judaism is a nominal ancestor. It’s interesting, though, that the full quote, “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn.”, offers basically the same sentiment as Jesus, that all of the commandments — the Torah — can be summarized as love of God and love of your neighbor. But look up “golden rule” on Wikipedia and look at how this idea evolved around the world, making Obama pretty much correct on the issue.
Soooo: what other kind of Jews are there?
Well, there’s the Orthodox, there’s the Hasidim, and there’s the Reconstructionists (who’re even more radical than Reform). Then there’s the Israeli splits that mostly seem to line up to the Orthodox/Conservative/Reform groups, then you got your ethnic enclaves like the Ethiopians, Chinese and so forth.
And that’s not getting into the Sephardi/Ashkenazim split.
We’re nowhere close to Christian fractures, but we did try to become a bit less homogenized.
I think my cat is a Marxist. She keeps saying “Mao”.
Umm, Mao is also mummified. I stood in line for about an hour to see him.
Marxism must be a polytheistic religion.
More like the difference between Catholics and Protestants, I bet.
There is no God
who condones taking the life of an innocent human beingfxd.
I never thought of my cat as a god
A dog thinks “They feed me, they shelter me, they love me. They must be gods”.
A cat thinks “They feed me, they shelter me, they love me. I must be a god.”
Not sure how this turned into a “Lost in Translation” thread, but I’ve been alone and jet-lagged in Tokyo, and the movie captures that sensation perfectly. Although to get a more typical experience, the Bill Murray character should have been staying in a “business hotel” where the room is barely bigger than the bed and room service is the group of vending machines down the hall, rather than that palatial suite, which was considerably bigger than my first apartment. Not a great movie, but worth seeing.
Or is one of them a false god?
Which one has the most hit points?
Well, since he’s so far the only one we’ve mummified and turned into a tourist attraction
Ahem.
That’s Susy all right.
She wants to go out on the screened porch to watch the birds (hundreds of Common Redpolls, if anyone is interested) and because it is cold out there I make her lie down in her snuggle bed and I cover her up so just her little ears are visible.
But she does get out on the porch. Saying NO doesn’t mean a thing to her. Somehow a 10-pound cat is controlling the actions of an adult. Must be some sort of god-like powers.
Are any of the mummified Marxists bloodthirsty, though? That seemed like a fixed requirement.
Our cat is very good at manipulating us. It’s scary how smart they are sometimes.
The Egyptians used to mummify cats. No word on their bloodthirstiness.
Are any of the mummified Marxists bloodthirsty, though?
Wikipedia informs me that the mummified body of Georgi Dimitrov had to be burned in 1990, after Van Helsing checked in his mausoleum and found fresh blood on his lips.
Transubstantion
The she-males have their own lines for the Underground now.
The Egyptians used to mummify cats. No word on their bloodthirstiness.
Pretty bloodthirsty. Every time they checked the pyramid there would be a few less mummified mice in there.
The relationship between capital and labor is at its core one of exploitation.
KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD!
Kim Il Sung, Ho Chi Minh, Joe Stalin (until 1962)…
The competition for a “More mummified marxists” tongue-twister or limerick is officially open.
Your Medved displeases me. Bring me his bowels that I may feast
Medved ain’t got no bowels… or maybe I misheard Confederated Yanqui
Somehow, cats never struck me as socialists. Kind of the opposite, really.
BigHo columnist calls Miley Cyrus a “white trash debutante.”
http://failblog.org/2009/02/02/furniture-ad-win/
Oh, my.
Sure, Mummified Vampire Cat is bloodthirsty, but also just.
Mousie Dung.
FYWP
Some win to go with the fail.
Double fywp.
Mao? Mousie Dung.
Also, BYWP.
Medved is aware he’s shilling for the subset of Christians who are praying for the Second Coming, when he and his co-religionists are supposed to be wiped out, right?
I’m assuming he’s okay with that.
And a fine, preemptive fywp again.
Win to go with the fail.
There’s a “Schoolhouse Rock” episode in there somewhere.
There’s a “Schoolhouse Rock” episode in there somewhere.
Dictatorship of the proletariat junction what’s your function?
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who oiled the machinery of capitalism with the blood of the workers
Along came Obama
And a whole bunch of drama
Porkulus whitey tape Muslim oh fuck it
In Soviet Union Schoolhouse Rock watches you….
Maybe. King Josiah’s minions made an astoundingly propitious “discovery” of some very important “ancient, lost texts”
This, in the 6th century BCE. Astonishingly, the “ancient texts” i.e., a good part of the Torah, mostly made Josiah’s dynastic ambitions look like the fuilfillment of prophecy. Imagine that!
I recall reading about this in Finkelstein and Silberman, The Bible Unearthed (subtitled Archaeology’s New Vision of Ancient Israel and the Origin of Its Sacred Texts) six or so ago. Fascinating book, btw – they flip the traditional roles of biblical scholarship and archeology around, eschewing the previosuly standard method of using archeological data to support existing biblical interpretation.
Of course, they were pilloried for it.
There was a young man from Slater (town (1990 pop. 1268), central Iowa)
Who said that he knew potaters
But he said it was Russet Norkotah
And it was a mummified marxist dictator.
Try the veal
Obviously, Mecved is a stalwart soldier defending all that is holy from the War on Christmas, a skrmish in the greater War on Christians
And Hilkiah the high priest said unto Shaphan the scribe, I have found the book of the law in the house of the LORD.
Betcha it wasn’t printed on frickin’ GOLD PLATES, though. Buncha amateurs.
Speaking of conservatives and film criticism, Roy Edroso at Alicublog reminds us that NRO went through this exercise in 1994, and they preface their list with this bit of drivel:
Movies mirror society. Many of the great conservative films were produced during Hollywood’s Golden Age of the Thirties and Forties, when the ideals of Western civilization were almost universally accepted.
As opposed to 1994, when liberal Hollyweird was actively pushing a return to the ideals of the Bronze Age.
By the Seventies, alas, the counterculture was being reflected in the new Hollywood’s nihilistic themes and chaotic styles. The trend began with Midnight Cowboy and Easy Rider in 1969, and reached its nadir in 1973 with Marlon Brando’s pornographic sexual epic of alienation, Last Tango in Paris. Pauline Kael, voluble critic of The New Yorker, cried out with joy: “The movie breakthrough has finally come.” (Indeed, and the social wreckage from such breakthroughs against traditional restraint is everywhere to be seen.) Today the film is as dated as any Shirley Temple movie, though without the charm.
And then they proceed to include “The Ten Commandments” and “Quo Vadis” in the top ten. Nothing dated there, nosiree. Oh, and “Last Tango in Paris” was pornographic, but “Carnal Knowledge” is the #8 most conservative movie of all time. Sheesh.
The recovery began with Star Wars (1977) and its sequels, The Empire Strikes Back (1980) and Return of the Jedi (1983), whose simple truths about heroism and the triumph of good over evil (not to mention space defense) were harbingers of the Reagan Eighties. The Reagan years saw quite a number of conservative films — not to mention destruction of the real-life Evil Empire. Hence our honorees include many recent films as well as classics from the Thirties and Forties.
Space Defense! Hahahahahah!!!! That one worked out well.
Oh, and “Ten” is #9 on the list. Which is central to their point.
http://www.nationalreview.com/conservative_movies/conservative_movies.shtml
Roy Edroso:
And though the new NR list is graced by contributions from heavy thinkers as well as hacks, it’s remarkably dumbed-down from the original. The 1994 list of 100 movies included films by John Ford and Wajda, Cavalier’s Therese, There Was a Crooked Man, The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, etc. These were in most cases woefully misapprehended by the editors, but at least they showed some knowledge of film history. The oldest films on the current list are 1984’s Red Dawn and Ghostbusters. The Lives of Others, a favorite of William F. Buckley, is the lone art-house entry. Most of the honorees were originally released after right-wingers started mining movies for affirmation and have already been though the conservetkult’s cultural appropriation mill, e.g. The Dark Knight, United 93, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, A Simple Plan, etc.
I don’t blame laziness so much as a weary awareness, after all these years of similar work, that they are no longer breaking new ground. Real critics would be excited by any opportunity to reexamine film culture, but propagandists are more easily bored. As culture-war detail is only a part-time job for most of them, why re-invent the wheel? So they grabbed what was handy and did a quick, web-friendly Top Whatever list. Later on they’ll get someone to write about the supply-side economic message in Confessions of a Shopaholic, and if it plays they can use it again later.
http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2009_02_08_archive.html#6920599569537528259
The new sheriff is [a bell rings]!
The new sheriff is [a bell rings]!
The new sheriff is [a bell rings]!
The new sheriff is [a bell rings]!
The new sheriff is [a bell rings]!
And his middle name’s Hussein!
Get it straight, morans!
Zombie Mohammad Children
tigrismus in the prior thread, now you Rusty…
Are you TRYING to piss me off? Cuz I swear, I will go find a troll and bring him back here.
My patience being sorely, sadly short, I’ll just offer two brief opinions.
First, dog is GOOD. These are not your pets, any more than bessie the cow is a pet. They are food, and done well, are GOOD food. Just because some people cook dogs does NOT make them barbarians – hell, they may have pet dogs, but those are not on the menu. Yum. Oh, snake is good too.
Second, who fucking CARES what some drunken peasant wrote in 653 AD? That does NOT constitute anything even distantly approximating EVIDENCE. They were selling baubles to rubes, for gawds sake. Let it GO!
Go find god in an accelerator, a telescope, a goddam stupid un-falsifiable string theory fer crissakes.
But some ancient, multiply re-written fantasy story that has been elevated to the level of “Scripture” by some control freaks with sexual identity issues is NOT evidence of anything, and should not be part of any serious conversation….
mikey
Oops, wrong linkee:
http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2009_02_15_archive.html#6182087541496180813
I can’t wait for Medved and BigHollywood idiots to see the upcoming R-rated adaptation of Watchmen. I guessing there’ll be apoplectic fits aplenty.
I dunno – the comic was pretty conservative, since we won in Vietnam and all. And all the vigilante stuff. Is it the R rating you think they’ll object to?
Tintin: I am, say, [an expert] on heterosexual S&M fetishes or the best dog restaurant in Seoul.
We note that mikey is swift to opine on the latter of these, but strangely silent on the former.
It’s a dog eat dog world.
It’s a dog eat dog world.
It is also a pie eat pie world.
I like pie! Wait, I meant…
Why do you think they call it chow?
That’s ’cause whenever my girlfriend dresses up in the leather with the Riders Crop I start whimpering and offering to confess that I did indeed shoot down KAL007 and am responsible for the worst excesses of the Malagasy Republic…
mikey
First, dog is GOOD.
Dog is love.
Is it not written that “Solomon loved many foreign women” ?
Dog is my copilot.
I love that bumper sticker, by the way.
An airport security uniform… a metal-detector wand… “I’m sorry, Sir, I’m going to have to frisk you now…”
From the Rubaiyat of Omar Khallyde.
Frisk? Fail Blog has that too.
the best dog restaurant in Seoul
That would be Rin-Tin Kim’s.
Ask the Canaanites if Judaism is a religion of peace.
That would be Rin-Tin Kim’s.
Hee hee – the best place for Seoul food.
First, dog is GOOD.
Not the one sitting next to me. She’s dirty and farts.
A LOT.
Doesn’t work for me.
My fantasies run more toward “short time?” “All night”. “All night numbah ten”. “Boo coo piasters”. “All night numbah one”.
Numbah one, round eye…
mikey
Not the one sitting next to me. She’s dirty and farts.
This is why I avoid pork.
Many of the great conservative films were produced during Hollywood’s Golden Age of the Thirties and Forties, when the ideals of Western civilization were almost universally accepted.
Well, and they also had active censorship, with the Hays Code. Prior to the Hays Code being imposed, in addition to the ideals of Western civilization, it was also not uncommon to see Mae West sans underpants and double entendres about Teh Ghey.
it was also not uncommon to see Mae West sans underpants
You, uh, wouldn’t happen to have a LINK or sumpin, wouldja?
Um, just for RESEARCH purposes, of course…
mikey
it was also not uncommon to see Mae West sans underpants and double entendres about Teh Ghey.
Yeah, that pre-censorship stuff is quite the eye-opener. But I’d respectfully argue that Mae West sans unmentionables is one of the ideals of Western Civ.
The Father, The Son, and The Holy Compilers are supposed to be interchangeable.
No, it’s weirder than that. There is only one god with three aspects but the three aspects are not interchangeable. Of course, a lot of christians were executed by other christians during the debate over this issue.
Speaking of a religion of peace, can there be such a thing?
As far as I can see, religion is based on 1) a hierarchy, that allows 2) one group of people to decide what another group of people is allowed to do. In other words, it’s all about CONTROL AND POWER.
Now obviously there are certain sects with a more egalitarian approach to things, but still there has to be SOMEONE to interpret what GOD wants from HIS people.
Am I being too simplistic? I don’t think so.
As far as my relationship to god, Susy decides when she wants to be fed and when she wants to go on the porch and I try to interpret and accommodate her wishes (outside is NOT allowed, so there is the flaw in my religion….)
Fortunately, Susy is a house cat and not a tiger.
I’m…not sure…I give a damn what any “holy” book says. Not sure at all.
Many of the great conservative films were produced during Hollywood’s Golden Age of the Thirties and Forties, when the ideals of Western civilization were almost universally accepted.
…when Hollywood was teeming with European refugees, many Jews and/or liberals, fleeing the rise of fascism.
And then at the end of the 40s, the Red Scare and various black- and greylists attempted to purge the major studios of all liberals, might-be-liberals or innocent bystanders who got too close to a liberal.
So what the fuck do those wingtards think they’re saying?
Mmmmm….just getting the Brussels Sprouts ready to roast for dinner!
Mmmmm….just getting the Brussels Sprouts ready to roast for dinner!
As long as they’re just a side dish for a nice big pile of roast dog, we’ll let it slide.
Well….I feel about roast dog the way mikey feels about Brussels Sprouts.
So what the fuck do those wingtards think they’re saying?
Booooorn in the USA!
Booooorn in the USA!
Booooorn in the USA!
g. You tryin to start sumpin??
mikey
yeah. Some roast brussels sprouts, mashed potatoes, and leftover meatloaf.
that’s what.
Does roasting Brussels sprouts make them….. edible?
I do not like Brussels Sprouts.
I do not like roast dog. (If Rover wants to lie near the fireplace for warmth, alright, but have you ever smelled wet dog hair burning? Not an appetite stimulant.)
And I’m still holding out against Green Eggs & Spam.
Everyone should check out the RSS feed for the wow gold post which reaches a new level of art in the spam sweepstakes.
I had leftover meatloaf. Vons is good for that sort of thing. They left it right on top in the dumpster. (Joke. Kidding.)
Everyone should check out the RSS feed for the wow gold post which reaches a new level of art in the spam sweepstakes.
link
Everyone should check out the RSS feed for the wow gold post which reaches a new level of art in the spam sweepstakes.
That’s not a real wow gold post – it’s a sham wow gold post.
Once more, with FEELING.
Brussels sprouts are not FOOD. That is, they do not represent something that can be eaten by humans. They are loathsome, unhealthy things that one might find pictured in signed, numbered lithos in Smut Clyde’s guest bathroom.
Secondly, you do not, I’m at least pretty sure, ROAST dog.
You cook dog in a SCREAMING hot wok with wok oil and hot sesame oil with veggies and mushrooms, and when it goes all dark and crisp on you you serve it over rice with lime wedges and cilantro.
Now that’s some good shit…
mikey
Bark, Bark, Bark, Yip
Ouch, motherfucker!
Yum…
LATE BREAKING COMMENT THREAD NEWS!!! MUST CREDIT ROBERT GREEN !!!!11!!!LOLCATZ!!!11111
people believe a lot of stupid shit. mostly religion but other stuff too. they should stop and start focusing on what matters, like not blowing life the fuck off this planet.
PS my dog made me write this. SCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOTTTTEEEEEEEERRRRRR
J— said,
February 16, 2009 at 3:26
Frisk? Fail Blog has that too.
Now that was an interesting clip – bet that cop didn’t frisk another black bloke for quite some time. I’m still chuckling.
“What’s this thing here?”
“Uh, that’s my penis.”
Words fail me. As they failed the cop.
[checks guest bathroom]
Turns out that what we have hanging there is a poster of a Hans Bellmer self-portrait from 1942, from the big surrealism exhibition in Berlin last year (the Scharf-Gerstenberg collection). No images available on the Interducts, alas. But oddly enough, he has painted himself to resemble a Brussels sprout.
wannano.donwannano.wannano.donwannano…
Nobody, and I mean nobody, can touch Medved when it comes to being ignorant and pompous with the same breath. Dude’s the master.
“Thou believest that there is one Medved; thou doest well: the wingnuts also believe, and tremble.” James 2:19
From the French: beaucoup, meaning many; piasters, Vietnamese money.
2) Lots of money gets you from numbah ten to numbah one!
3) Profit!
Medved was an unfunny piece of shit as a movie reviewer, and he’s every bit as useless today.
Also, Brussels sprouts are fine if you put enough lemon pepper and butter on them.
(What do they call them in Brussels?)
(What do they call them in Brussels?)
Canadian bacon?
See, that’s the thing, Bouffant.
I’m trying to decide what parts I should feel guilty about.
Killling doods I probably would have liked, or exploiting chicks that needed money to bring back to feed their family. And was I maybe just a little better to them than those tank drivers from alabama who didn’t understand they were even human? Or maybe not.
I’m pretty sure I did some shit I shouldn’t have done.
And yet.
Y’know?
How about the dyslexic atheist- didn’t believe in dogs
Mikey- nice to have you back, King-Size
(What do they call them in Brussels?)
Poop.
you serve it over rice with lime wedges and cilantro.
mikey, why are you commenting favorably on cilantro? Soon the cilantro iconoclasts will be mounting a mighty assault and the food wars will be on in earnest.
I implore you all: Please do not go down the sprouts/cilantro/dog path to strife and suffering for all living blog creatures. Won’t someone think of the children?
Won’t someone think of the children?
That depends. How are they prepared?
mikey, guilt in a cluster-fuck like that is as pointless as paying attention to those zillion yr. old books by the sun-baked.
(What do they call them in Brussels?)
Well, if they speak German, I believe they are called Rosenkohl.
Rose cabbage, approximately.
But they taste the same.
I might try them roasted before I give up on them altogether. With some olive oil, a few garlic slices, and parmesan perhaps?
Hey liberals and “progressives”!
Did you realize the so-called stimulus bill (AKA the Spendulus) undid the greatest domestic policy achievement of the last 25 years, the Welfare Reform of 1996?
mikey, guilt in a cluster-fuck like that is as pointless as paying attention to those zillion yr. old books by the sun-baked.
Goddam, Bouffant, I’ve been offered absolution by the best, and worst.
Somehow, I’d like to offer you a decent beer and accept it from you.
Thanks, man…
mikey
Here, liberals liberals liberals!
Come on! Come out now, libs!
Read my point above!
Hey, can someone direct me to the cooking/cat blog?
Yeah, I know that looks like I want to cook a cat.
Actually I’m feeling the effects of a drippy cold and teh Merlot that I’ve been treating it with. Or with which I have been treating it.
Just finished watching the first half of Oliver Twist on PBS. I hate it that the second half is a week away.
But I love Dickens. When all I can do in the nursing home is lie in bed, I want a DVD or whatever the technology is 20 years from now and I want to watch all the old Masterpiece Theater programs.
This week has marked the beginning of the new conservatives.
You libs and “progressives” will regret passing the spendulus!
lalalalala, brussels sprouts, wokked dog, I can’t hear you lalalalalalllllll
Ooops — not spendulus! Porkulus!
(If I get my talking points wrong, Rush will sit on me and fart. Wet ones. With bits of wokked dog and brussels sprouts. Ghaaaaaaaackh!)
If you don’t know how to do it, I’ll show ya how to wok the dog
I see all you liberals know how to do is to make ad hominem attacks rather than address true new conservative arguments!
ad hominem attacks? Isn’t that an attack on the the arguer rather than the argument?
Works for me.
Roasted brussels sprouts. We were out of bacon. Just had some chopped onions, olive oil. Pretty damned good. Mashed potatoes with roasted garlic. The meat loaf I made last night, is pretty good if I do say so myself. Served with a Syrah.
Cooked cat probably gives you hairballs.
I promised “Hope and Change”, too!
true new conservative arguments
The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Saddam has weapons of mass destruction.
George Bush does too have a penis.
Bookmark this, libs!
I gave at the office.
Ted Casablanca is NOT a fag!
Well, tomorrow it’s to the Coop for rosenkohl and meatloaf (prepared meatloaf is the best thing since sliced bread, in my opinion). Thanks for the inspiration.
I’ll give the round little green balls one last chance to become an answer to “what’s for dinner.”
Conservative Observer said…
I want you off this fuckin’ set, you prick!
No don’t just be sorry, THINK for one fuckin’ second!
What the FUCK are you doing?
Are you a professional or not?
We’re saving the cat for the last meal. We have enough room here for a vegetable garden, and we can raise chickens in the boat shed.
Late Night Blog Whoring
Hope you’ll drop by to see my latest, When Wingnuts Kill.
Thank you.
Do I fuckin’ walk around and rip down…
no shut the fuck up Troofie
no! NO!
Don’t shut me up! Am I gonna walk around and rip your fuckin’ lights down, in the middle of a scene?
Then why the fuck are you walkin’ right through? Ah, duh-duh, duh, duh, like this in the background. What the FUCK is it with you? What don’t you FUCKIN’ understand? You got ANY fuckin’ idear about “Hey, it’s fuckin’ distracting!” having somebody walkin’ up behind Tintin in the middle of the fuckin’ SCENE! GIMME A FUCKIN’ ANSWER!
You’re on top now, libs!
Enjoy it for a brief fleeting moment.
The conservative movement is reviving, and in 2012 it will clip your wings, led by the next Ronald Reagan–SARAH PALIN!
So you come crawling back to Broadway.
Well, Broadway doesn’t go for booze and pills!
For FUCK’S sake, man, you’re amateur.
ITTDGY, you got fuckin’ somethin’ to say to this prick?
Well, somebody should be fuckin’ watchin, and keepin’ an eye on him!
Yes, mother — I’m remembering to do my bust exercises.
When all I can do in the nursing home is lie in bed, I want a DVD or whatever the technology is 20 years from now and I want to watch all the old Masterpiece Theater programs.
Ah, yes – those episodes hosted by Alister Cooke (or, as Edith Bunker referred to him in an episode of ‘All in the Family,’ Alice the cook.).
My all-time favorite series there was a BBC adaptation of Roland Huntsford’s magnificent account of the Amundsen/Scott quests to reach the South Pole, ‘The Last Place on Earth.’
Having said that, I’m gonna go put it in my Netflix queue.
You may have won tiday, but we will get you next time, libs!
Anyone got dessert?
You may have won tiday, but we will get you next time, libs!
Stay off the fuckin’ blog man. For FUCK’s sake.
I dunno – the comic was pretty conservative, since we won in Vietnam and all. And all the vigilante stuff.
What.
To clarify:
I’m not asking for an explanation, I’m asking how anyone can read Watchmen and come away thinking it’s a “conservative” comic — or a liberal one, for that matter.
But, everything must be clearly divided into wrong & right!
but the Reform and Conservative Jews who constitute Mr. Obama’s most fervent supporters resist and contest that application of the word.
My father was a Conservative Rabbi with some oddly reconstructionist leanings (women good. secular humanism fantastic. praying in english bad)
Michael Medved is full of shit.
The Talmud is learned rabbis of the highest decoration discussing the contents of the Torah.
The Talmud commands nothing. It’s nothing but debates of the exact meaning and obligations carried by the commandments in the torah.
The Supreme Court handed down the Miranda ruling, based on their learned understanding of the supreme law as set down in admittedly somewhat vague wording. they argued and reached a conclusion. It is not the supreme court’s rule that is violated if ignored, it’s the suspect’s constitutional rights.
The TALMUD does not Command. It Interprets.
If the talmud tells you to do something, it is because a great learned rabbi of import made an argument that one of the 613 commandments of the torah was instructing you to do that exact thing he argued, and so to be on the safe side, and to be sure you are following god’s law, you should heed the interpretation. not unlike Mom and Dad saying “stop poking your sister” does not mean that “I’m not touching you” bullshit is acceptable, and they’re going to crash the car into the lake/THROW HAIL FILLED WITH FIRE THE SIZE OF BOULDERS AT YOU
Dessert is Molecular Brussels Sprouts.
Wikipedia
Actually I’m feeling the effects of a drippy cold and teh Merlot that I’ve been treating it with.
No, if anyone orders Merlot, I’m leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!
I am the eggman. They are the eggmen. I am the jackass.
Goo goo gajoob!
Dessert is Molecular Brussels Sprouts.
I got your Brussels sprouting molecule right here!
Behold the nakkid power of the Brussels Sprout. It’s the the Littl Shynin Man the Addom.
That is pure, concentrated neutronium of win.
sometimes i think about dabbling in episcopalianism, on account of all of your gay bishops and everything. we presbyterians are dragging our feet on equal rights and it makes me so upset…but i think i’m too low church for y’all, really.
I can count to Potato!!!!
You just take your sproutin nekkidness somewheres else.
I’m not asking for an explanation, I’m asking how anyone can read Watchmen and come away thinking it’s a “conservative” comic — or a liberal one, for that matter.I’m not asking for an explanation, I’m asking how anyone can read Watchmen and come away thinking it’s a “conservative” comic — or a liberal one, for that matter.
Ken Lowery – haven’t read the comic but I found this interesting:
Bradford Wright described Watchmen as “Moore’s obituary for the concept of heroes in general and superheroes in particular.”[17] Putting the story in a contemporary sociological context, Wright wrote that the characters of Watchmen were Moore’s “admonition to those who trusted in ‘heroes’ and leaders to guard the world’s fate.” He added that to place faith in such icons was to give up personal responsibility to “the Reagans, Thatchers, and other ‘Watchmen’ of the world who supposed to ‘rescue’ us and perhaps lay waste to the planet in the process”.[36] Moore specifically stated in 1986 that he was writing Watchmen to be “not anti-Americanism, [but] anti-Reaganism,” specifically believing that “at the moment a certain part of Reagan’s America isn’t scared. They think they’re invulnerable.”[3]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watchmen
Oops, that was me…busted.
Is it true that the Stimulus undoes the welfare reform of 1996?
That’s awesome! (Too good to be true?)
“But no matter what we choose to believe, let us remember that there is no religion whose central tenet is hate. There is no God who condones taking the life of an innocent human being. This much we know.”
Right on B.O. tell it how it is! Taking the life of INNOCENT human beings is deplorable and no religion would ever condone it! Of course, witches, gays, scientists, and other heretic scum are by no means innocent, so: off with their heads!!!
It’s the the Littl Shynin Man the Addom.
Eusa wuz angre he wuz in rayj & he kep pulin on the Littl Man the Addoms owt strecht arms
Trubba Not, Smut Clyde
Is it true that the Stimulus undoes the welfare reform of 1996?
That’s awesome! (Too good to be true?)
Really…troll thinks that’s something most of us would be upset about, if that was actually the case. Stupid troll is stupid.
Trubba Not
In case anyone was wondering, this is indeed how we speak in Neusalan, when we aren’t being et by wild dogs.
tigrismus in the prior thread, now you Rusty…
Are you TRYING to piss me off? Cuz I swear, I will go find a troll and bring him back here.
We all know there are good zombies and bad zombies. Zombie Joseph Beuys, good; Zombie Tomás de Torquemada, BAD. The existence of bad zombies is no bad reflection on zombies as a whole, and pointing it out should be no skin off their noses. So to speak.
sometimes i think about dabbling in episcopalianism, on account of all of your gay bishops and everything.
Episcopalians are pretty cool, but getting confirmed doesn’t mean you automatically get to fuck bishops.
P.S. Cilantro is empirically good.
To zombie rotten mcdonald:
Sorry man, I was referring to those other zombies, not the good ones like you. Some of my best friends are zombies!
He added that to place faith in such icons was to give up personal responsibility to “the Reagans, Thatchers, and other ‘Watchmen’ of the world who supposed to ‘rescue’ us and perhaps lay waste to the planet in the process
Right. Anyone who’s read V for Vendetta knows Moore’s no friend to conservatives… he writes in the introduction for the collection that he was specifically reacting to Thatcher’s horrendous policy.
The big clue (and here I’m being a bit facetious, as it’s less a “clue” and more like “grabbing you by the lapels”) is the prose piece by the scientist somewhat responsible for the creation of Doc Manhattan, explaining his in-story famous quote (“God exists, and he’s American”)… and why he found the implications of that so terrifying.
It is above all else about rebuking the superhero myth, that people elevated to godlike status somehow become better for it — Moore believed it would simply magnify human flaws to catastrophic, tragic results. His lambasting of bigoted conservative commentary is made evident in his portrait of a right-wing rag, but then he’s not very kind to liberals in that regard, either. Basically, he was very pessimistic about ALL people at the time.
/nerdscholar
That would explain why the first picture of Medved in this post looks remarkably similar to Pat Boone’s “boxing the clown” moment…
In Brussels they call them ‘petit choux’, or ‘little cabbages’. Which is pretty much correct, and why they are inedible.
Zombie Joseph Beuys, good
I’m sure I’ve seen a film of Zombie Joseph Beuys explaining paintings to a live hare.
Indeed
‘Its some kind of thing it aint us but yet its in us. Its looking out thru our eye hoals. “
Go ahead and be all cocky, you elitist cilantrophiles. We’re getting organized and we’re fighting back. We shall overcome. Also, it’s good that the WSJ is finally covering the important news. And I though the Murdoch takeover would be a bad thing.
fixt