Blart? BLART!

lolblart

Say, can I get hurt by playing this Blartophone?

I blame the dog.

I can haz cheeseblarter?

Rollerblart! Johnablart! Johnablart! Johnablart!

I am aware of all internet blartitions.

Too bad we can do sizes and colors here. And the blink tag.

Uh, I meant the blart tag.

All your blarts are belong to us.

I blart the dog.

Fixed!

Sorry, BlarTML problems.

Blart was cool back in the old days. Now it’s all this gangsta shit – where are the positive messages?

nothing ambliguous about that post.

PENIS

Seriously, isn’t PB, Mall Rent-A-Pig, actually a right wing fantasy pic because (I’m pretty sure I heard this from the corner of my ears when Kevin James was shilling the damn thing on Letterman’s show) he’s “sworn an oath to protect the mall,” to which his boss replies: “We don’t swear an oath here,” & wanna-Blart sez: “Well, I did.” (Or something.)

If that doesn’t sum up the rabid weasel idea of honor, courage, etc. Plus it’s got fat guys falling down.

Roseblart….

Blart, beans, sausage, eggs, and blart.

Blart, sausage, ham, and blart.

Blart, beans, spam, beans, and blart.

Blart, blart, blart, blart, and blart with a side of blart.
.

Shorter Blart: Bl

ℬℒÅℛℑ

Slarty Blartfast?

If we don’t blart the blarts over there we’ll have to blart them over here.

The fact is, blart.

Now it’s all this gangsta shit – where are the positive messages?

Say, brutha, what you got against Notorious B.L.A.R.T.?

Row row row your blart
Gently to the mall.
Blartily, blartily, blartily, blartily,
Blart blart blart blart blart.

I want those blarting malfunctioning robots off this blarting blog!

Governor Rod Blartojevich

Hm, this nym makes me look like a villain from the He-Blart comics

I want those blarting malfunctioning robots off this blarting blog!

Don’t encourage it.

Uh, blart.

Simba Blart: win!

I am Blarticus!

Unduly some Blarts never change. Take for instance the “Blart” in Blart. More than 80 percent of Blarts are opposed to the Blart to Blart for a Blart of Blarts. Oh, I forgot . . . Blart by any other Blart, is still not Blart according to many diehard Blarts who think we can’t see through their Blart.

Even Blart get tired of the Blart being pulled over their Blarts.

Here’s the Blart: The Blarts want to flood the Blart with Blarts, so they can stay in Blart, and completely eradicate the Blart and conservative Blarts — otherwise they wouldn’t be so pro-amnesty for a Blart of Blarts who refuse to not only obey our Blarts, but show deep Blart for Blart.

I guess so . . . what Blart? And the Blarts want to payback corporate Blart for campaign Blarts.

In other Blarts: big Blart and special interest Blarts currently own Blart and your Blart. If you believe Blart contrary to the Blart on the Blart — there is little Blart of returning Blart back to its rightful Blarts — the American Blart.

Don’t believe for one Blart, the incessant Blart 10 or even 20 million Blart cannot be deployed out of the Blart over a Blart of Blart. It’s total Blart to reward Blart for invading a Blart, taking to the Blarts, demanding Blarts they don’t or shouldn’t have.

The Blart of the Blart has a Blart intact where it guarantees the Blart will be protected against foreign Blarts by our Blart. So what happens with our current Blart? Not only are we “unprotected” against foreign Blarts — our Blart is blatantly encouraging the Blart of Blarts to continue coming on over in Blarts. And if this “in your face” Blart isn’t bad enough — the border patrol Blarts have their Blarts tied behind their Blarts, many of them punished whenever they try to do their Blart. Is this treasonous Blart or what?

You decide.

Frankly, I’m getting tired (with the Blart of other Blart) with the immigration Blart being at the forefront of everything else, unsettled.

We are most likely the laughing Blart of the Blart, because we’re supposed to be the super Blart of the Blart, and yet we can’t or won’t control our own Blarts.

Let’s just get over the Blart that we are required to take everybody and their Blart who want to migrate to Blart. Yes, we are a Blart founded by Blarts, along with all the other Blarts, and yet the other Blarts enforce their immigration Blarts — including Blart.

Yes, we are a diverse Blart. But this is not something to brag about — considering the old Blart: a Blart divided against itself will fall. And there is definitely more than enough Blart to go around here in Blart.

Folks you’ve been had in the worst way. As you have slept, your Blart has been given away right from underneath your drooping Blarts. You have (thus far) been content at being complacent, assuming everything will work itself out in the end.

Everyday you work your Blarts to the Blart, so the Blart can tax your Blarts beyond Blart, to reward Blart who won’t work — while your American Blart keeps diminishing as you’re forced to face the cruel Blart that the Blart just doesn’t exist — courtesy of your Blarts.

While the “grassroots” Blart of those adamantly opposing the current S. 1348 immigration amnesty Blart has gotten a Blart, this is not the time to rest on your Blarts, but to rise up even stronger opposing the disastrous Blart that is far from resting in Blart.

With Blart and Blart Blarts being propelled by big Blarts to faze out the American Blarts in favor of cheap Blart — the Blart is now — not later — to show them whose Blart.

What we really need in this Blart . . . is a Blart of Blart in Blart, and a Blart of pink Blarts.

And that’s just my Blart!

(ask yourself: does the Blarticized Kay Grogan make any less sense than the original?)

B 2 the Lart 2 the Blar 2 the T

Silly bleeding Blart liberals.

The blarting [code] tag works in preview but not in the thread.</code.

What the blart man?

Does this qualify as a new internet tradition, do ya think?

What the fuck is going on?

“Does this qualify as a new internet tradition, do ya think?”

Answer: blart.

Surely there is some online tool that will allow us to Blartify stuff? JanusNode, or maybe something simpler?

/Lazyweb

Smut blarted that one up real good.

OK, so [code] does work.
Three paragraphs of Blart from the automatic Letter-of-Blart Generator, coming right up!

Does this qualify as a new internet tradition, do ya think?

To blart or not to blart, that is the blartion.

What we have here is a failure to blarticate.

Mall cops are the blarts of liberal fascism. This is central to my point.

I’ve blarted the code tag here before and had it fail. It might get all blarted up with returns.

Blart The Plumber.

tag test</acronym

It is not going to happen, blarts. Your echo blart is reverberating now with your shouts of blart before you’ve won a single blart. I almost feel badly for you, because when Blart wins, your blart will be overwhelming. I say “almost” because your blart is nasty, anti-free speech, and absolutist, and every decent blart will blart in relief when it goes down to defeat once more.

Here is how it will go down next week. First, the blarts from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for Blart. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big blart, blart can’t come overnight” will be your blart. Florida will go blart, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual blarts will fall into the usual blarts. As the blart drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your blart) Pennsylvania will be too blart to call.

My advice at this blart to you will be to go to blart. You will wake up to a Blart presidency and the Great Blart Blartout will be on.

Blartmark this, blarts, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the blart I was able to call this.

regular expression to blartify text

s/ [A-Z][a-z][a-z]* / Blart /g

one more

The blart that would not die…

Tralb.

No, I guess it isn’t very funny backwards…. Thought I would give it a blart, tho

this blart’s for you

“I am Blarticus!”

Sure pal…and I’m the Greek poet from Blarnx, Blartoninus.

<acronym title=”popup text goes here”>actual text goes here<acronym> is another toy for you all to play with.

I don’t think it works in IE though.

The Blartman knows that the Blarts will grow
The Blartman knows that the Blarts will grow
The Blartman knows that the Blarts will grow
The Blartman kno–oh–oows…

Blart man… (yee-ow-oo-wow-oo)
Blart man… (yee-ow-oo-wow-oo)
Blart man… (yee-ow-oo-wow-oo)
Blart man…

My God… it’s full of blarts…

oops

Blart, blart blart blart!

we’re on a mission from Blart

Blart is Punk Rock.

OMBlart, this is so blartin’ funny I just blarted my blartini all over my blart.

All this blarting is making me thirsty.

Because of this, I am working on writing a new compiler. It will be called the Basic Lab Assembler Regex Translator.

Hey, did I post something, or is the fog from the previous effort drifting here & effing w/ my, uh … what?

we’ve kissed the Blarty Stone…

No, I guess it isn’t very funny backwards….
If memory serves me, Tralbalfadorians communicate by blarting and tap-dancing.

OMBlart, this is so blartin’ funny I just blarted my blartini all over my blart.

This is objectively pro-blart.

Barack Hussein Blart

Blartor212 said,

Hm, this nym makes me look like a villain from the He-Blart comics

Wasn’t that a Rush song?

Blar-Tor and the Snow Dog?

“Blartmark this!” wins the thread!

Captain America commands you to blart.

Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious blart.

The Truth’s “bookmark this” speech doesn’t really read that differently.

“what are you?!?!?”

“i’m Blartman”

Blart Trek XI: The Wrath of Blart!

Steve Blartman says hi.

This obsession with blarts is depriving us of valuable discussion time regarding sharts.

Blart Trek XI: The Wrath of Blart!

No, you’re thinking of either Nemblartsis or Blartsurrection.

I’d bring up Star Wars, but after the prequels that’d just be redundant.

I now have the jingle “Free Credit Report Blart Com” in my head. I hope you’re all happy. Blartstards.

If loving to blart is wrong I don’t wanna be right!!!

Gimme a bee! Gimme an ell! Gimme an ay! Gimme an ar! Gimme a tee!
Put em all together what’s it spell?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
beeellayartee.

BLART

Is someone liveblarting the congressional hearings?

Blartman and Joe the Plumber meet the Mummy

beeellayartee

Chef Beeellayartee Blart Ravioli

I love civil discourse….

oops, sorry about that

Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? It appears as if you elitist left-wing Sadly, D’oh!ers are making fun of the former number one movie in America. What’s that? Out of touch with mainstream Americans once again, loony libs? Perish the thought! The Cool Coach, it should be said, actually saw Paul Blart and thought it was some funny stuff. Kevin James is hilarious! Badoodle-boo-yeah!

But keep up with this silly blart stuff, loony libs, and watch as your precious Obummer loses all credibility with Terrible Tom Dasshole and the rest of his kooky krew all about the failboat! What’s that? Other than the blart blart blar? That’s right, it’s a SPREAD of TRUTH, comin right from the Cool Coach. Urban out.

I now have the jingle “Free Credit Report Blart Com” in my head. I hope you’re all happy. Blartstards.

Relax. I suspect your blart will go on.

Blarten down by the Cool Coach again!

85 blarts in 40 minutes!

That’s really freaking BLAR-TAC-U-LAR

I now have the jingle “Free Credit Report Blart Com” in my head
If it’s any consolation, my head is occupied by a stream of blarts as performed by Cannibal Corpse.

Tim Teblart wears Greg Blarty pajamas

“Happy Madison [Adam Sandler’s production company] historically has been very reluctant to do sequels,” says a hopeful [Sony producer Doug] Belgrad. “But we believe there is an opportunity to make another Paul Blart movie.”

Happy, happy, blart, blart.

How do smurfs say blart?

Blartamania’s runnin wild, brother!

Spongeblart Squarepants.

I Left My Blart in San Francisco

Happy, happy, blart, blart.

Moar proof that the public really really wants more conservative entertainment.

And loves blarts.

Fear of a Blart Planet.

Palin/Blart 2012! Suck it libs!

A blast from the past:

Here we come…
Blartin’ through th’ town…
Trippin’ over our big feet,
Fat heads hit th’ ground!

Hey, hey, we’re the Blarties!
And people say we’re ugly fat clowns!
Well, we’re too busy Blarting,
our big fat asses wobblin’ around!!!

We’re just tryin’ to make money!!
As stars in this contemptible swill!
Awkward, mindless and clumsy,
Fat dolts fall down as far right nuts shill!!!

Hey, hey, we’re the Blarties!
Stupid, useless, sweaty, fat-assed!
Ugly, brainless and worthless,
Soon to have a triple-bypass!

How do smurfs say blart?

The same way the Marklar do.

Can’t wait for ♫ Blart – The Musical ♫

I really mean that.

Upblart: Holy Blart, Blartman – Uncanny Canadian anticipated Blart way blart in December, 2006!

http://blog.3bulls.net/?p=1367#comment-58495

Blart me, daddy, eight to the blart.

Daschle went down in flames libs.

ROFLMBO!

Hey J—, turns out that the blarts about Fender raising prices was blart. Thirty percent. For example, an American Standard Blart that was a thousand blarts is now 1275 blarts. Sucks blarts. I’d like a John Mayer blart but I’m not paying near Les Blart prices for one.

Uncanny Canadian anticipated Blart way blart in December, 2006!

Blartstopping news!

ROFLMBO!

blarthole.

In Space, no one can hear you blart.

Palin/Blart 2012!

That frankly would not surprise me.

“Hey J—, turns out that the blarts about Fender raising prices was blart. Thirty percent. For example, an American Standard Blart that was a thousand blarts is now 1275 blarts. Sucks blarts. I’d like a John Mayer blart but I’m not paying near Les Blart prices for one.”

Save your money for a Paul Reed Blart. That’s the only advice you looney libs will get from this blart.

“Happy Madison [Adam Sandler’s production company] historically has been very reluctant to do sequels,” says a hopeful [Sony producer Doug] Belgrad. “But we believe there is an opportunity to make another Paul Blart movie.”

Wait a minute…Adam Sandler is responsible for the Blart movie? I might have known…

Blart gentlemen.

PRBlarts are tacky as hell, Redblarter. I don’t care how well constructed.

not to mention blartbag, blartnozzle and blartwad!

What do you expect from blartering blartbobs of blartism?

*weeps gently*

Has Little Blart Simpson pulled any pranks at Blartfield Elementary School lately?

blartism in the defense of blarty is no blartue.

I did not have blart with that blart.

Yeah, it’s been one of those blarts.

In honor of his 200th birthday, here’s some Bobby Blart (goes best when read aloud and don’t forget the brogue)

Oh my blart’s like a red red blart that’s newly sprung in blart
Oh my blart’s like a blartody, sweetly played in blart

The blart is, blart liberal blart blart blart never blart in the blartland.

I don’t know blart, but I know what I like

I’ll be blart…

“Bobby” Blart? “Bobby”? Shurely shome mishtake? You must mean Rabbie Blart.

It’s been a long blart’s blart.

BLART! Blartin’ Blarter’s Blartin’ Blarted!

Ewwwwww

This thread has been oblarterated

We will be greeted as liblartors

Present Indicative:

yo blarto
tú blartes
él/usted blarte
nosotros blartemos
vosotros blartéis
ellos/ustedes blarten

Imperfect:

yo blartía
tú blartías
él/usted blartía
nosotros blartíamos
vosotros blartíais
ellos/ustedes blartían

Preterite:

yo blartí
tú blartiste
él/usted blartió
nosotros blartimos
vosotros blartisteis
ellos/ustedes blartieron

Future:

yo blarteré
tú blarterás
él/usted blarterá
nosotros blarteremos
vosotros blarteréis
ellos/ustedes blarterán

Conditional:

yo blartería
tú blarterías
él/usted blartería
nosotros blarteríamos
vosotros blarteríais
ellos/ustedes blarterían

Imperative:

tú blarte
él/usted blarta
nosotros blartamos
vosotros blarted
ellos/ustedes blartan

Present Subjunctive:

yo blarta
tú blartas
él/usted blarta
nosotros blartamos
vosotros blartáis
ellos/ustedes blartan

Imperfect Subjunctive:

yo blartiera
tú blartieras
él/usted blartiera
nosotros blartiéramos
vosotros blartierais
ellos/ustedes blartieran

Gerund:

blartiendo

Past Participle:

blartido

tip o’ the day hour minutepicosecond

Tags in
__________ Name
work in preview but then WP eatses them, I just found out

Blart you WordPress!

Blart HUSSEIN Oblarta lieberals! WHAT DON’T YOU UNDERBLART?

Here are the lyrics to the “Blart Song”, sung to the tune of Smells Like Teen Blart by Nirblarta, the groundbreaking Blart group from Seablattle:

Blart, blart, blart blart blart.
Blart, blart – blart blart blart!
Blarting blart, blartily blart, blartness blart.
Blart! Blart! Blart-t-t-t-t-t!

Blart.

Rusty! You finally got around to googllating it, eh?

The Blart is a Lonely Hunter

If anyone has, for reasons which I could not possibly fathom, NOT been to UD and otherwise googlized ‘blart.’, you must do so immediately.

This is a new rule.

It’s a blartache, nothing but a blartache

Blartin’ blarticans.

“Bobby” Blart? “Bobby”? Shurely shome mishtake?
Shame! Shame! Shame again, barman!

Sorry about the “Bobby”. They refused to give me treatment in the Serious Burns ward.

Um, I’ll be back later.

I pledge you, I pledge myself, to a New Blart for the American people.

Mein Fuhrer, I can blart.

It’s a bird! It’s a Plane! It’s blart!

[this concludes this test of the wordpress tag blarting system]

The Pittsblart Steelers beat the Arizona Blartinals in the Superblart.

Blart you wordpress. It looked great in preview.
so, ahem:
It’s a bird! It’s a Plane! It’s [sup]blart[/sup]!

Ha. He blarted.

B.Laristophanes wins the thread, if for no other reason than I just tried to order a taco from the roach coach, and used “blartieron” in a sentence.

The Guatemalan gave no sign of having heard; probably still better than the mangled Spanglish he’s subjected to by the gringo Contractors on the jobsites he makes the rounds of…

Ellos han blartido tan fuerte que no es posible continuar blartiendo por un rato.

I blart the sheriff, but I did not blart the deputy.

Hey J—, turns out that the blarts about Fender raising prices was blart. Thirty percent. For example, an American Standard Blart that was a thousand blarts is now 1275 blarts. Sucks blarts. I’d like a John Mayer blart but I’m not paying near Les Blart prices for one.

Ouch. But I thought you said you were set with your Bartway One, or no?

Save your money for a Paul Reed Blart.

In the words of J Mascis, “Never use humblarters.”

Blart is the new Blart.

I blart the sheriff

Was he cute?

Does this mean that everyone can get this out of their systems in this one thread?

Most.tedious.shtick.ever.

It’s like a blarterial sclerosis thing. Eventually the blart just seizes up.

high concept pitch i’m taking in to disney right now:

a blart and his monkey blart a blart. blart ensues!

written by blart a. blart and to be directed by blarty mcblart. blart blartstein attached to star.

don’t even think about stealing it.

Anyone ever read Blart Merblartian by Cormac McBlarty? I just finished it. It’s a pretty Blart blart.

Blart this blarting thread!

When a Sadly, No! thread has several hundred comments, it’s filled with trolls and/or blarts.

don’t even think about stealing it.

I’m blarting my lawyer right now.

We conservatives stand athwart history shouting BLART!

Now this is Blart we can believe in!

Blar300t

Blartway to Heaven

Blarts upon blarts upon blarts is what I have.

Blarty trolls are blart.

Flammende Blerzen.

My fav album ever is Sgt Blart’s Lonely Blarts Club Blart, by the Blartles.

Does this mean that everyone can get this out of their systems in this one thread?

Most.tedious.shtick.ever.

Sadly, No!

BYWP for eating my “Flammende Blerzen” link.

Oh my Blart, yes oh my Blart, oh my Blart yes oh my Blart.

Blart Dawn

“Blartervines!”

Does that kill the thread?

Blart this shit.

Eric B(lart) for president.

Can I get some help for next Wednesday’s crossword blart? I’m re-cluing it now. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

ACROSS
1 – blart
2 – blartable
3 – old blart
4 – blarting?

BLARTERINES!!!11!!

Also, BYWP for blarting up the link.

You know voted for it Blart one. You know who voted against it? Me.

Blart, Blart, bo-Blart,
Banana-fana fo-fart,
Fee-fi-mo-mart
Blart!

Ahem,

Sadly, No!

heckuva job, Blarty.

That’s one small blart for [a] man, one giant leap for Blartkind.

BLART you WP!!

One more blarting time.
Saly, No!

blartily blartle blart

Ooopsies, I blarted…

That’s one small blart for [a] man, one giant blart for Mankind.

Fuck you & the blart you rode in on!

Me said,
Most.tedious.shtick.ever.

Hey Me: Blart you, you blarting blart-hole. Don’t find this blarty blart funny? Go blart yourself already.

O Other, Where Blart Thou?

Cuz I’m the blartyman, blarty bla blartyman
I got that blart Ima hollain’
I got that blart come an’ try it an
You can spark it up but Ima blart you out!

Another summer,
Blart of the Blarty drummer.

Dude, who blarted?

Blart, Blarty and the Pursuit of Blartiness

Sadly, Blart!

Who de blart king? I’m de blart king.

I tell you, your empty Blart is unBlartable. The blarteen million Blarts in the Blart ceiling, the Blart CoaBlartion of Blartgan Democrats and the Blarts of Blart-palacia are going to… What was I blarting about again? Clearly this is all just misogyny, and Blart.

I was blart before blart was cool.

Hello!

So has anyone visited Blartcop.com lately? Blartaryis44? Daily Blart? Blarts and Liars? Media Blarters?

I still think BLARTACUS tops them all.

Turn around….

It’s a total eclipse of the blaarrrrt!!

I regret that I have but one blart to give for my country.

I only regret that I have but one blart to lose for my blarty.

woah. weird.

blart.

Jonah Goldblart, is that you?

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FOR BLART’S SAKE

If Michael Phelps had a blart of blart in his blart, he’d have known better than to blart that blart at a blart party in Blart Carolina. Now he won’t make any blart for the rest of his career. And I thought he blarted about the blart!!

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lart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart,blart

Me said,

Most.tedious.shtick.ever.

Nope. I’m throwing that flag on the boring bigot troll.

Most.tedious.shtick.ever.
Just be glad no one’s impersonating Ann Blarthouse yet.

Just be glad no one’s impersonating Ann Blarthouse yet.

Or Blann Blarthouse.

Set the controls for the blart of the sun

I just got an incredible deal down at Wal-Blart!

Blart on, you crazy diamond.

The Queen of Blarts,
She made some blarts,
All on a summer’s day:
The Knave of Blarts,
He stole the blarts,
And took them clean away.

The King of Blarts,
Call’d for the blarts,
And beat the knave full sore:
The Knave of Blarts
Brought back the blarts,
And vow’d he’d steal no more.

Mall Cop 2: Electric Blart-aloo

Is anyone familiar with the great operas of Blartissimo Blartini? They include:

Madame Blarterfly

La Blartiata

Le Nozze de Blartaro

Blarti Fan Tutte

Un Blarto in Maschera

Blarterdämmerung

Whoah, in all this Blarting, I missed the Cool Blart, Urban Blarter.

Umm, actually the number one movie is TakenBlart. Paul Blart is actually number two (you’ll be seeing variations of that sentence for thext few Blarts).

Any sufficiently blarted blart is indistinguishable from magic

Blart my Blartnigs. What I meant to say was “Paul Blart is number two (you’ll be blart blart blart blart blart)”

What blart of “Blart this, don’t you understand?”

Blathur C. Blart: A Fall of Blartdust was your best

Blarts came flying from the underground;
If you could blart it then you’d understand.

Oh the blart has pretty teeth dear,
And he shows them pearly white
Just a blart-knife has Blartheath dear
And he keeps it out of sight.

Ain’t no love in the blart of the city.

Is anyone familiar with the great operas of Blartissimo Blartini?

I’m partial to Bela Blartok.

Some folks are putting the blart before the horse. Then again, a blart in time saves nine. It’s better to blart and run away and live to blart another day.

I remember fondly the summer that Ann & Nancy of Blart released their big hit Blartacuda. And who can forget Dreamblart Annie? And Blartless?

Blartless, blartless
Never never out of control
Blartless, blartless
You keep on blarting in the name of rock and roll.

Did he compose Caliblartification?

As much as Ann Blartson’s voice is the total Blart, my favorite Blart song is These Blarts (probably because I’m a blartimental blart).

These Blarts, go on when I blart my eyes
Every second of the blart, I blart another life
These Blarts, that blart when it’s blart outside
Every moment I’m a blart, the further I’m a blart.

This is for you, Henry

~

sigh..

Looks like muskrat love!

Malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich. Malkovich? Malkovich malkovich malkovich, malkovich malkovich.

Of course you haff enjoyed our stories?

Rumpelblartskin
Snow Blart
Sleeping Blart
Blartunzell
Blartella
Hansel and Gretel (their lawyers wrote a seriously binding contract)

D’oh!

BLAAAART!!! Why you little…

heh heh you said blart heh hen heh

Because it is bitter, and because it is my blart.

Take another little piece of my blart baby

Jena Six! Answer me! Jena Six! Answer me!

Prepare for blarting speed!

Blart the torpedoes! Full blart ahead!

Remember Blartie Angel? I have no use for the trollish vixen, but she did give me the invaluable phrase Blart Blart Blartity Blart Blart.

This is officially the stupidest thread ever, but it’s still making me smile.

Got a blaa-aartful of soul

She does not blart, and she reminds me of the sea.

You gotta have Blart! All ya really need is Blart!

OT, but the blartter sales campaign that Johnny Blarton made an ad for is working.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2009/feb/03/dairycrestgroup-sexpistols

Fredo! You broke my blart.

The Blart Uncertainty Principle is a fundamental principle of physics: the blarticity, and the blartiness, of a blart cannot be simultaneously ascertained.

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new blartocracy. – Franz Blartka

Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart 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Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart Blart

Played out joke should know.

At last, people are as stupit as played out joke.

Later on, boring bigot troll and played out joke will sit around and watch archie bunker while beating off.

Wow! Who was that squealing blart?

Bring Back Dull-As-Fuck Flamewars, At Least They’re Not Quite As Smugly Pleased With Themselves said,

February 4, 2009 at 5:32

Get lost.

Only the Blartman knows

Don’t fear the blarter.

Looks like my bete noir is here to ruin another thread!

Blart threads, the ultimate troll killers.

Blarterines! ( http://footballjesus.wordpress.com/2007/11/16/ )

I was in Starblarts today nursing a Caramel Macchiablarto while reading all about the Anblart Awakening that so changed the landscape in Blartdahg, when on the tv appears Prez Barack Hussein Oblarta to tell us that he screwed up with Blartshel but really wants bi-blartisanship to work for the stimuless blartage or else we’re all on the Blartanic without a Leoblarto Diblartio in sight
I’m off to Puerto Vablarta till it all blows over.

Total eclipse of the Blart.

Sorry, Kim. That’s mine.

She’s got Blarty Davis eyes.

Blarter Pussycat, Blart, Blart!

Buh-bye for now. Perhaps there’ll be a reason to come back soon. I hope so.

Bring Back Dull-As-Fuck Flamewars, At Least They’re Not Quite As Smugly Pleased With Themselves said,

February 4, 2009 at 5:32

Hey … Hey!

You missed a space. It’s right there – 24 Blarts from the top, between the 15th and 16th Blarts.

Jon & Kate Plus Blart

Blart Me Up!

Live! With Regis and Blarty

Yes, I actually checked back in on this thread. I also touch ovens I know are hot, just to make sure.

I’ll never be your beast of blarten.

Blart me no Blarts!

#

This Place Has Descended Into Mediocrity said,

February 4, 2009 at 6:47

Buh-bye for now. Perhaps there’ll be a reason to come back soon. I hope so.

Wow. That’s all it takes to get rid of Troofy? Blart.

awareness of all

internet blartitions I
shorter dot blart

Ringo, Blart, John and Blart.

Where’s “teh blarty” now, eh libs?

Unless you’re talking about me.

Schrödinger’s Blart is neither dead nor blart until the blart wave blarts.

I don’t want to hijack the thread blarts…but Liam Blartson kicks some serious blart in Taken.

I’m not a Blartist. Thats what’s so insane about Blart.

The Obama blart is expected to impose a blart of $500,000 for top executives at blarts that receive large amounts of bailout blart, according to blarts familiar with the plan.

Executives would also be prohibited from receiving any blarts above their base blart, except for normal blart blarts.

“That is pretty draconian — $500,000 is not a lot of blarts, particularly if there is no blart,” said James F. Blart, founder and managing director of James F. Blart & Associates, a blart consulting firm. “And you know these blarts that are in trouble are not going to pay much of an annual blart.”

How wrong Emily Blartinson was! Hope is not “the blart with feathers.” The blart with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Blartich.

blart

1. A fart with blood in it. When you strain to fart, blood sprays into your underwear.
After jaay got rid of his wicked case of buttslaw, he still had the occasional painful blart.

2. one or more fake-tanned scantily-clad tattooed young ladies whose typical Friday evening’s entertainment would consist of excessive alcohol consumption, giggling loudly whilst dancing around handbags, and urinating in the street. This to be followed by vigorous sexual intercourse with random males of the species, either up against a wall, over some rubbish bins or in a skip. The above phenomena can be observed between the hours of 11pm – 4am Friday evenings on the streets of any town or city in the north of England.
“how man lets get wersels in there man it’s wall to wall wi blart”

3. When you go to fart blood come out. It is a mixture of the word blood and fart hence “blart”
Oh my god, I was sitting at a meeting and this dude started to blart everywhere.

4. A blasting fart. The sound can be described as trumpet-like… loud, high-pitched and choppy.
After a big chili dinner, I was kept up all night by my lover’s gunshot blarts and my bedroom now smells like beans.

5. Accidental bloody discharge when trying to fart.
I had to change my underware after I blarted.

6. A queef (or vagina fart) while menstruating. Causes a gush of blood and gurgling sound.
“Shena was having a heavy period. Only sex would make it all better. Jeff wanted to fuck her doggy style. This made Shena BLART. Jeff laughed as the blart vibrated his penis and spritzed blood against his abdomen.

7. Quite simply, a joint. Can be either hashish or weed. Also known as a blarty.
I really fancy a nice blart(y)

I don’t know much about blart, but I know what I like.

Btw, if you were wondering whether Frau Schlussel had completely plumbed the depths of insanity, the answer is no.

The National Endowment for the Blarts just called to demand their grant money back.

Blart for blart’s sake is all well and good, but your blartistic license is hereby revoked.

fucking blarts

“I’ve labored long and hard for blart,
For honor, and for riches,
But on my corns too long you’ve blart,
You fine-haired sons of bitches.”

– Black Blart, 1877

#

Sir Heh Indeedington said,

February 4, 2009 at 7:40

#

This Place Has Descended Into Mediocrity said,

February 4, 2009 at 6:47

Buh-bye for now. Perhaps there’ll be a reason to come back soon. I hope so.

Wow. That’s all it takes to get rid of Troofy? Blart.

And just where did we descend from? Strikes me as flattery, really.

blartblartyblartbuhblart

This Place Has Descended Into Mediocrity
Since my entire life has been a struggle to ascend into mediocrity, I am taking this as a compliment.

Blart,
Blart a song,
Blart it loud,
Blart it long!

Don’t worry if it’s not blart enough, for anyone else to blart,
Just blart,
Blart a song!

Ba-baba-baba
B-ba-baba-baba
B-ba-ba-baba-ba-BLART!

Obligitory bar thirty blart.

Let’s not forget that great Elizabethan gay sex comedy film, Shakespeare in Blart.

“They [the Blartmanges] mean to win Wimbledon!” — M. Blart

Blart.

Obama must either blart his Auntie Zeituni or blart his own credibility.

“Obama must either blart his Aunt Zeituni or blart his own credibility.”

The blart is, you’re all blart.

This is all very well. But is it Blart?

E=m(blart)2

“Nature has formed you, desire has trained you, fortune has preserved you for this blart.”

“I have a blart…”

Apple introduces it’s newest product, the iBlart.

“A blart here, a blart there, pretty soon you’re talking about real blarts.”

“Twas brillig, and the slithy blarts did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the boroblarts, and the mome wraths outgrabe…”

Ask not what your blart can do for you…

Blart fight!

We will put a blart on the moon…

I think you missed a blart.

You’re one blart short of a full blart-load.

Load up on blarts, and bring your friends;
It’s fun to blart, and to pretend…

What you did to these the least of my blarts, you did also to me.

We are almost certain blart does not exist.

I wash my hands of this blart!

I came, I saw, I blarted.

I fiddled while Rome blarted!

Oh say can you blart
By the blart’s early light
What so proudly we blart
By the blarting’s last blarting?

Fourscore and seven blarts ago,
Our forefathers did blart upon this new land…

Beware the blarting military-industrial blart!

Our Saint never sold blarts to Iran!

We must reduce our dependency upon foreign blart.

From each according to his ablartablartilites, to each according to his blarts.

I wish I could have co-starred in Brokeblart Mountain!

My thorough investigation reveals you so-called “Sadlynaughts” will never penetrate my client’s Shit Blart.

someone make it stop

We are BLARTA!

There’s probably a Blart. Now start worrying and blart yourself.

Jonah Goldblart’s forthcoming book, “Liberal Blartism” exposes the blartist tendencies of the Left.

I’ll be blart.

Dude, her mom’s totally a MILB.

Be still my bleating blart.

Annoying Dude Who Quotes Old Python Skits and Ritually Recites One-Liners from Various Old Movies and TV Shows at Every Opportunity said,

February 4, 2009 at 5:29

P.S. Blart!

slartiblartfast?

Perseveration is the new blart.

As Vincent Van Gogh once said, “One may have a blazing hearth in one’s soul and yet no one ever came to blart.”

Inblartus

OUT of the blart that covers me,
Blart as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever blarts may be
For my unblartiable soul.

In the fell blart of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried ablart.
Under the blartgeonings of chance
My head is blarty, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of blart and tears
Looms but the Horror of the blart,
And yet the menace of the blarts
Finds, and shall find, me unablart.

It matters not how blart the gate,
How charged with blartiments the scroll,
I am the blartster of my fate:
I am the captain of my blaaaaart!!!

Timothy McVeigh’s fave; deserves blarting.

mingo, who doesn’t love William Ernest Blartney? He’s almost as meaningful to men in crisis as Blartyard Kipling. Just ask Rod Blartojevich.

My name is Blartimandias, King of Mall Cops
Look on my works, ye mighty, and deblart!

If it walks like a blart, quacks like a blart, swims like a blart, it’s probably a blart.

blart – the final frontier

J__,

But I thought you said you were set with your Bartway One, or no?

Yeah, but as Phil Gramm said about guns, I say about guitars: I have more than I need, but less than I want.

Nice quote from Mascis BTW. Are you related? Same first name and all…

P.S. blart

Creed.

D.N. Nation said,

Creed.

Great! Now I have to go blart my brain…

dang you, flip, blartyard was next!!!

Jon Blart Jovi’s “Shot Through The Blart (And You’re To Blame)” is stupendous.

Plz 2 ad me to yuor lits.

Fucking Creed! Godammit, shit… FUCK!

When lilacs last in the doorblart bloom’d,
And the great blart early droop’d in the western sky in the night,
I mourn’d, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning
blart.
Ever-returning blart, trinity sure to me you blart,
Lilac blarting perennial and blarting blart in the west, And thought of him I love.

O powerful western fallen blart! O shades of night — O moody, tearful night! O great blart disappear’d — O the black murk that hides the blart! O cruel hands that hold me powerless — O helpless soul of me! O harsh surrounding cloud that will not free my soul.                    

In the doorblart fronting an old blart-house near the white-wash’d palings, Stands the lilac-bush tall-growing with blart-shaped leaves of rich green, With many a pointed blartsom rising delicate, with the perfume strong I love, With every leaf a miracle — and from this bush in the doorblart, With delicate-color’d blossoms and blart-shaped leaves of rich green, A sprig with its flower I break.
                    
In the swamp in secluded recesses, A shy and hidden blart is warbling a song. Solitary the thrush, The hermit withdrawn to himself, avoiding the settlements, Sings by himself a song.
Song of the blarting blart, Death’s outlet blart of life, (for well dear brother I know, If thou wast not blarted to sing, thou would’st surely die.)
                  

sheer blartry.

The government is the problem, except when it comes to policing vaginas.

Wow, this is one thread that’s stayed mostly on topic, if the topic be blart.

I have a blart interview this AM. Wish me blart.

Blart, Candy, Blart a leg!

Break a blart, Candy.

Damn!

lotsa blart, Candy

aaaand…

“It was a blart and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent blart of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), blarting along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the blarty flame of the lamps that struggled against the blartness.”

–Edward George Blartwer-Lytton, Paul Blartford

Thanks all!

Sallying blarting forth!

Blah. Art?

Dear S,N! overlords: please, please do this one. It’s just… I have no words.

Better late than never, rotsa blart Candy!

Double plus un-Blart.

(with apologies to mingo)

A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Blart—and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderblart–
Oh, Wilderblart were Paradise enow!

–Edward FitzGerald, The Rubaiblart of Omar Kayyam

Lipstick on a Blart.
They are to the north, south, east and west of Blart-dad.
You have your known blarts and then you have your unknown blarts.

P.S. Creed sucks exerts negative pressure on it’s surroundings.

“The Moving Finger blarts….”

Who was that masked scroll troll? From the nyms, I’d guess one of the regulars.

Personally, I’m a red-blooded American male, exclusively attracted to the dames (Hugh Jackman, not withstanding), I love chicken wings, all things fast and the occasional flying fisticuffs.

My gaydar, which is nearly infallible, sez Sadly, No!

The problem is that there is no longer a place for me to be what I am … a man. The thought hit me at the gym today […]
The only “men” there subscribed to the “Cosmopolitan” philosophy that the gym is a “Great place to meet somebody cute!” They couldn’t care less about testing their manhood or straining under some heavy iron. They’d rather compliment each other’s spray tans and oil down their “guns.” Which leads me to ask; when did “man” die?

I’m pretty sure he could find the experience he’s missing at the gay gym.

They couldn’t care less about testing their manhood or straining under some heavy iron.

Hmm… does trying to bring my middle-age gut under control qualify?

All right you primitive screwblarts, listen up–

This… is my BLART-STICK!!!

I’ve never seen a “red-blooded man” complain so much about being forced to view cleavage.

Who was that masked scroll troll? From the nyms, I’d guess one of the regulars.
I’d have pretended it wasn’t me if I had remembered to take the hyphen out. It’s just that debunking cello scrotums really blarts my blarting.

What about the classic Woody Allen films:

Love And Blart
Annie Blart
Blarthatten
Crimes And Misdeblarters
Husbands And Blarts

Annnnnnnddd…That’s it for me.

o/` Autoblarts wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Deceptiblarts… o/`

I hope this thread gets this shit out of your systems already. Sheesh.

Ro-blarts in disguise.

It’s Nietzsche’s theory of eternal blart come to life.

The thought hit me at the gym today

That right there ought to disqualify him from calling himself a man. Any “man” who can think while he’s working out simply isn’t working it hard enough.

Rusty’s found himself a winnah there. Here’s the sign-off on Steven “I’m totally not gay, you gotta believe me” Crowder’s declaration of heterosexuality:

Finally, to the men out there who are thinking of taking the plunge into modern day metrosexualism … have you no shame?

Umm, I guess not. Perhaps if I learned to feel shame, I could go about in stained sweat pants, reeking of stale beer and pizza, and treat women like objects. Incidentally Steven, if you’re going to bash us fey metrosexuals, you may want to change your photo for something a bit less clean-cut. And in conclusion, blart.

Geez, Jacob, don’t have a blart attack.

Perhaps if I learned to feel shame, I could go about in stained sweat pants, reeking of stale beer and pizza

I knew I forgot to turn off the webcam last night…

also, blart

Man that Steven is a thing of closet dwelling closet-ness.

No “SweetCherry69,” I don’t want it. Congratulations, you have breasts. They’re no different from other breasts that have come before yours

Wait, weren’t you just on about how great it was when Men were Men and Women were Seen But Not Heard? Afterall, you are free from the pseudo-feminism running rampant has made men feel guilty about our very fiber so long we’ve conformed to a feminist mindset? Shouldn’t you be reaching out and grabbing SweetCherry69 by those breasts, insulting her a bit, maybe give her a coupla smacks – and then sweeping her off to have sex in your sports car?

Well, whatever. I hope Steven has better like finding a gym where bears hang out, so he can “bare knuckles box” them.

Ummm, and blart.

The thought hit me at the gym today
he noticed it because it represented such a rare occurence.

Well, whatever. I hope Steven has better like finding a gym where bears hang out, so he can “bare knuckles box” them.

Real men don’t like the feel of leather or other materials to come between their skin when they engage in manly intimate activities.

Real men don’t like the feel of leather or other materials to come between their skin when they engage in manly intimate activities.

This is why we subscribe to the Jesus’ General School of Naked Spartan Wrestling.

Now with Spatulas!

shit. occurrence.

I hope this thread gets this shit out of your systems already. Sheesh.

I think the sadly overblarts are hoping for this very thing.

How the Hell does Obama expect bankers to work for less than 500,000 blarts? Suck it loony libs.

The problem is that there is no longer a place for me to be what I am … a man.

Clearly, this guy has never been married, and probably never will.

Hey, Candy, let us know how it went. I assume this is with a local legal office, no?

I was at a loss for words as the realization hit me like a ton of bricks… I was surrounded by dames and metros.

Any of whom could probably kick your pasty, bloggy ass if you tried the Etch-a-Sketch trick on them.

No “SweetCherry69,” I don’t want it. Congratulations, you have breasts. They’re no different from other breasts that have come before yours

Yeah, yeah, we know you don’t want it, you want to wrestle bears and Wolverine. Nothing wrong with that, Gymmy McStudlyburg, but if you don’t feel good about it it’s not the dames’ and metros’ faults.

Steven’s commenters seem to agree that being a real man means being an untamed cowboy biker outlaw who plays by his own rules and doesn’t care what anybody else thinks and has a good job and is well-groomed and treats women with respect, and gnaws Harleys out of trees that he rips from the ground with his bare calloused hands and is blue collar and makes a lot of money and hard decisions.

Rusty,

The irony is, within five years, half of them will be driving minivans or worse, hybrids!

If you drive a hybrid you’re a pussy!

The Telltale Blart

Within five years they’ll all be in Overlord Hussein X’s extermination glee camps.

I drive a GMC Yukon and if I could I’d mod it to run on dirty coal just to spite the eco-freaks!

Yeah, but as Phil Gramm said about guns, I say about guitars: I have more than I need, but less than I want.

Tell me about it. I don’t need this one, but I sure as hell want it. I keep checking back to see if someone has relieved me of this temptation, but sadly, no. It is still there, haunting me.

Nice quote from Mascis BTW.

That’s from an interview with Guitar World. That’s what he came up with when the interviewer pressed him for advice for the youngsters.

Anything else you’d like to say to the young, guitar-playing kids out there?

JM: [after a profound silence] I just don’t know if they’d listen to me.

Well assuming they would listen, what would you say?

JM: I have a lot of things to say. Never use humbuckers. And don’t buy any Japanese pedals.

Are you related?

Not that I’m aware of.

Blart Starr was the hero of Blart Bowl I

J—, that Tele puts me in mind of this.

IT DOESN’T EVEM NAKE SENS

Hey libs, how’d it feel to have Tax Cheat Daschle go down in flames?

Obama’s administration is turning into a disaster!

The problem is that there is no longer a place for me to be what I am … a man.

I guess we can conclude that he is, in fact, not a man anymore, then.

Within five years they’ll all be in Overlord Hussein X’s extermination glee camps.

We’ll stick them in some asshole-smelling red state, like Texass or Oklablarta, right next to the OMG!TERRORISTS! that can teach them how to be reeeeeeeeeeeeeal men if you know what I mean…

I guess we can conclude that he is, in fact, not a man anymore, then.

I think you are giving him too much credit, mingo.

“I drive a GMC Yukon and if I could I’d mod it to run on dirty coal just to spite the eco-freaks!”

Put your house thermostat at 95 degrees and also run your A/C at the same time. Then put your Yukon on blocks and run it continuously. These things will really piss off Liberals.

Finally, the little secret that Liberals have is that their most HATED thing is burning 100 dollar bills and paychecks. If you do this as long as you have any money at all, it will really, really make Liberals mad.

Just do it.

Blarts, Blarts, Blarts who hate Paul Blart, lend me your Blarts; I come to bury Blart, not to praise him. First Blarts first: Blart recently claimed that Blart’s eternal Blart for Blart is a Blart to be avoided at all Blarts. I would have found this Blart shocking had I not heard similar Blart from him a hundred Blarts before. Whatever should be Blart of Blart and often ephemeral Blarts in human Blart, the Blart remains that if I try really, really hard, I can almost see why he would want to create profound emotional Blart for Blart on both Blarts of the Blart. Whatever else may be the case, it is certain that Blart not only lies but he brags about his Blart to his Blarts.

What, then, does “Blart” mean? It means considerably more than any Blart is likely to say. If I weren’t so forgiving, I’d have to say that Blart is an Blart to unctuous, debauched Blarts everywhere. They panegyrize his Blart to use mass Blart as a Blart of Blart and Blart and, more importantly, they don’t realize that my Blart is that we are starting to witness the negligent Blarts of Blart’s Blarts. He, in contrast, argues that it’s okay if his Blarts initially cause our Blart of Blart to degrade because “sometime”, “someone” will do “something” “somehow” to counteract that Blart. This Blart merely scratches the Blart of the ideological Blart festering between me and Blart. The only rational Blart to bridge this Blart is for him to admit that he has stated that Blarts should report only on Blarts he agrees with. One clear Blart from that Blart—an Blart that is never really disavowed—is that we’re supposed to shut up and smile when he says impulsive Blarts. Now that’s just vitriolic.

Blart has it all wrong; Blart cannot change his Blart. Blart merely enlarges the Blart in which Blart can, with ever-increasing Blart and Blart, reopen Blarts that seem scarcely healed. I don’t suppose he realizes which dialectic Blart he’s violating by maintaining that he’s merely trying to make this Blart a better place in which to live. Therefore, I shall take it upon myself to explain. Blart’s Blart that his press Blarts provide a liberating Blart into Blart, the Blart, and Blart is factually unsupported and politically motivated. Let us now exert a positive Blart on the Blart of Blart that Blart will live in a thousand Blarts from now because in that is our only Blart for the Blart.

“Put your house thermostat at 95 degrees and also run your A/C at the same time. Then put your Yukon on blocks and run it continuously. These things will really piss off Liberals.”

Haha! It does have a remote start and in the summer I make sure to start it and run it for 30 minutes the cool it down, and in the winter run it for 45 minutes and make it REAL warm. I figure that makes up for all of Al Gore’s carbon offsets! LOL! I raise a lot of carbon that way!

I guess we can conclude that he is, in fact, not a man anymore, then.

His manhood occupies a zero-dimensional antispace.

Couldn’t you just say he has a small dick, like RedState?

What do you drive actor212? Some little pussy Geo Metro lawn mower?

“Haha! It does have a remote start and in the summer I make sure to start it and run it for 30 minutes the cool it down, and in the winter run it for 45 minutes and make it REAL warm. I figure that makes up for all of Al Gore’s carbon offsets! LOL! I raise a lot of carbon that way!”

You’re just a piker. Be a Real Man and start burning those 100 dollar bills. It will really, really make Liberals mad.

What are you, a wimp, a simp, a pussy, or gay? JUST DO IT! If you’re a real man you know that pissing off Liberals is your prime motivation.

Couldn’t you just say he has a small dick, like RedState?

I could, but to aver that he has a dick at all would be to go beyond the available evidence.

Hm. Good point.

Give Steven credit, tho. At least he knows what the inside of a gym looks like.

You couldn’t say that about most red staters.

“You’re just a piker. Be a Real Man and start burning those 100 dollar bills. It will really, really make Liberals mad.”

I’d rather use them to get a new pickup with HEMI POWER! 🙂 They get terrible gas mileage! But who cares? Oil is cheap again!

In the words of J Mascis

lolblart

I remember the days when he couldn’t buy a gig in Amherst.

BTW, where is that pussy Redstater? I drive a surplus US Army 6×6 with an 800 cubic inch Caterpillar diesel in it. I like crushing pussy conservative SUVs with it.

a rhetorical question put to all youse at large, since I am not a varmint-feeder, nuh-uh, nope:

When the wingnuts post an article such as this one at bigblartyhood, about how he can’t be a man anymore, and the commenters chime in with their weapons-grade stupid there and in other comment sections – Do they realize how badly they are exposing themselves (note: euw) as persons so unfamiliar with clue that they couldn’t recognize one in an overstocked clue factory???

“I drive a surplus US Army 6×6 with an 800 cubic inch Caterpillar diesel in it.”

Mod it to run on dirty coal! That’d kick ass!!

“But who cares? Oil is cheap again!”

Thanks only to President Malcolm Hussein Obamafascist X

I am unable to comment over there, it seems. WTB?

“Mod it to run on dirty coal! That’d kick ass!!”

Just tell me where you live so I can come crush your pussy SUV.

“Thanks only to President Malcolm Hussein Obamafascist X”

No, thanks to the threat of drilling offshore!

DRILL baby DRIIILLL!

liberals also REALLY hate it when manly wingnuts sneer in a manly manner and eat a WHOLE box of recalled peanut butter snacks, because FDA regulations are for pussies!!!11!!

“No, thanks to the threat of drilling offshore!”

Wrong as usual. Where do you live? My baby is getting hungry to crush another pussy conservative’s SUV.

As a liberal, the thing I hate the most is when people go see movies that got a bad review in the NYT. Holy shit does that cheese me off.

You’re full of shit, hippie. You’re just another pussy little nanny stater liberal driving a little Jap Scrap Yaris.

“FDA regulations are for pussies!!!11!!”

you got that much right! The FDA should be abolished.

Do they realize how badly they are exposing themselves (note: euw) as persons so unfamiliar with clue that they couldn’t recognize one in an overstocked clue factory???

Mingo, I can only speak for myself.

The high art of trolling a right wing thread is to carefully let them know how stoopid they are coming off, without actually letting them in on the enormous gift they continually give to us in the reality-based community.

So to answer your question, no, they probably don’t, and I’m not about to tell them!

Holy Flaming Blart, Secrets!

I thought the whole blarting point of this abortion was to repel the blarting troll!

And now that stupid pathetic blart has returned and we’re right back where we were two days ago.

Pie. It’s what’s for blart.

Blart. It’s what’s for pie.

As a liberal, the thing I hate the most is when people go see movies that got a bad review in the NYT.

I won’t see ANY movie that Victor David Hanson hasn’t jerked off to.

I don’t understand why being surrounded by big sweaty manly men is so very heterosexual, especially when you’re panting from exertion. Is it a “I’m so confident in my sexuality that I can shower with a bunch of super-butch alpha males – because with my erection, our penises are close to the same size” type of thing?

Hey, stryx? Is that blartberry pie?

Can you libs explain to me why we shouldn’t drill for oil and gas wherever we can?

“you got that much right! The FDA should be abolished.”

President Malcolm Hussein Obamafascist X is planning on doing that, but only for food and drugs sold to conservatives. His plan is to have conservatives only eat food and take medicine that is made in that Free Market paradise called China.

Now, where do you live? My truck is really getting hungry for an SUV to eat.

I love the smell of blart in the morning. It smells like…blart.

So to answer your question, no, they probably don’t, and I’m not about to tell them!

actor, I love the one commenter in that article who is doing a patriotboy – something about how a REAL man welds concrete filled cans to steel pipes and grunts over them in his real-man garage. It was funnier thatn that, but I am not going back over there.

I won’t see ANY movie that Victor David Hanson hasn’t jerked off to.

Did you like Enchanted? I heard it was good.

PENIS!

Blart would smell better than the 9/11 bedwetter smell around here.

DBB,

I go to the gym, because the equipment I need to work out is way too costly for me to stock my basement, and also because of the carbon footprint buying that much iron for my personal use would create.

As to why it’s so “heterosexual,” I never took it to be sexual in any way, except to see women in spandex (and of course, the gym has the obligatory pool, so swimsuits, too).

But even then, I look, and then I go back to my routine.

About the only camraderie or social interaction I have is to maybe once in a while buddy up on free weights with someone to spot me/him, which can sometimes turn into a healthy competition.

But, as Clint Eastwood said in Blartbreak Ridge, “This doesn’t mean we’ll start taking showers together in the middle of the night.”

China has it right, not only to the drill, they also subsidize gasoline. We should do the same!

“Can you libs explain to me why we shouldn’t drill for oil and gas wherever we can?”

Only in the backyards of conservatives. This is another plan that President Malcolm Hussein Obamafascist X will be enacting as soon as he gets his veto-proof majority in 2010.

When did men trade in their pressed pants and Old Spice for torn Abercrombie jeans and Axe body spray?

Another Fred Thompson voter, I see.

Hey Actor212, how much carbon do you save by doing that?

I need to know so I can produce the amount you save! 😉

China has it right, not only to the drill, they also subsidize gasoline. We should do the same!

Yes, because it’s all about you, Whiny McWhinerton. Wassa matta, Wal-Mart doesn’t pay you enough to buy gas at a fair price? Nanny state gotta buy it for you? Poor baby.

Rusty, I did, and so did VDH, but there was some weird “only came when they all turned into cartoon men” thing that was creeping me out.

I’m so glad he gave “300” a box and a half of Kleenex. Real men in real circumstances.

Errr, pun unintended.

I heard Al Gore say people should never, ever hit themselves repeatedly on the forehead with a ball-peen hammer, and that if they did, he would be really pissed. I hope this doesn’t get out to the wingnut blogs.

THIS IS EXCELLENT!!!! FOR BLART!!!!!

aw blart. EXCELLENT NEWS….

Say, doesn’t that other socialist, Chavez, subsidize gas?

“Yes, because it’s all about you, Whiny McWhinerton. ”

It’s about keeping up with China. Why should they get to drive Hummers on eight lane highways and grow their economy while we’re forced to drive lawn mowers because of the myth of global warming and Al Gore?

I heard Al Gore say people should never, ever hit themselves repeatedly on the forehead with a ball-peen hammer, and that if they did, he would be really pissed.

Really? Because I heard that was the best way to put carbon into the environment.

China’s first fuel standard, 30.2 miles per gallon for the typical car, was imposed in 2005, and will be raised to 36 miles per gallon in 2008.

*AHEM*

It’s about keeping up with China

Aww, poor baby. Intimidated by those big Asian 4 inchers? I know that must hurt. But just because you want to jump off a bridge pretending you have a penis doesn’t mean the rest of the country should too.

Excuse me, that should read China’s first fuel standard, 30.2 blarts per gallon for the typical blart, was imposed in 2005, and will be blarted to 36 miles per blart in 2008.

Carry on

Meanwhile, actor212, they start operating a new big coal-fired power plant every day, while BHO wants to bankrupt our coal industry!

Hey pussy Redstater, whats the matter? Afraid to tell me where you live so I can come crush your pussy SUV? What kind of a fucking conservative PUSSY are you, anyway?

RedBlarter75 blarted,

Blart, actor212, blart blart blarting a blart blart blart-blarted blarter blart blart blart, blart BlartHO blarts blart blartblart blart blart blartry!

Blarted your blart, blarthead.

Meanwhile, actor212, they start operating a new big coal-fired power plant every day, while BHO wants to bankrupt our coal industry!

It’s OK sweetums. We’ll take of you, after we take away any sharp objects. We’ll even help to keep the number of Chinese dead from self-inflicted wounds down in the tens of millions.

“#

Liberal Secrets said,

February 4, 2009 at 19:27

Hey pussy Redstater, whats the matter? Afraid to tell me where you live so I can come crush your pussy SUV? What kind of a fucking conservative PUSSY are you, anyway?
”

Go fuck yourself lib! You don’t even have a car, you take the bus! Probably a hybrid bus, too! ROFL! Loser!

Now, where the blart were we talking about that blarting blarthole over at BlartBlartywood?

How come conservatives are so scared that they whine about Muslims so much?

Red China: conservative utopia

How come libs are so scared they wine about carbon dioxide all the time?

Go fuck yourself lib

I do believe you touched a nerve there, Liberal Secrets. Its inadequacy is causing it to strike out at others.

How come libs are so scared they wine about carbon dioxide all the time?

You confuse fear and responsibility. That’s understandable in a Republican, since you have no concept of the latter.

Oh noes Al Gore! SAVE US FROM CARBON!!!11!!11 THE BUBBLES IN MY PEPSI WILL KILL ME!

hahahah!

“Go fuck yourself lib! You don’t even have a car, you take the bus! Probably a hybrid bus, too! ROFL! Loser!”

Ah, so that’s the problem. You don’t even OWN an SUV! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Let me know where you live. We’ll make a bet that I own a 6×6 with a Cat in it. If I don’t show up, you collect the bet. If I show up, I win the bet. Pretty simple.

Or are you scared little lying PUSSY conservative???

Lemme see…China can’t kill us unless we let it.

Nature can kill us, and not even break for lunch.

Seems to me that nature is the bigger threat.

Overlord Hussein X, who fully internalized the teachings of a Christian pastor for 20 years but remained devoutly Muslim, is going to turn America socialist instead of taking her in the direction she should really go, which is to be more like China.

Tell me where YOU live and I’ll show up, lib loser.

And I’ll show up in my GMC Yukon pouring out pounds of glorious carbon into Gaia’s face!

Can you libs explain to me why we shouldn’t drill for oil and gas wherever we can?

Actually, yes.

As long as we can drain the finite mineral resources of other nations at fire-sale prices, it might be best to leave our own reserves well enough alone. Once the foreigners have been relieved of the burden of sitting on our oil, and things get really expensive, that’s the time to start pulling up the local stuff. It’s a matter of timing, you see. The big oil companies clearly see this, what with their habit of nailing down leasing rights by hook or by crook for virtually every square inch of North America and not doing dick with them. Those reserves go up substantially in relative value the longer they sit.

I know anything beyond tomorrow’s Happy Meal is more forward thinking than you’re capable of, but why would you want to deny the oil companies their God-given profits?

“Nature can kill us, and not even break for lunch.”

No it can’t. We make nature cooperate with US, we don’t need to cooperate with nature! We CONTROL nature!

And I’ll show up in my GMC Yukon

Sorry about your small penis.

Well, Kyle’s mom is a stupid blart
She’s a stupid blart
She’s the biggest blart in the whole damn blart
She’s a stupid blart if there ever was a blart
She’s a super, king-size, mega, mega BLEE-ARRRTT!!!

The only GMC Yukons I ever see are driven by suburban housewives.

It’s funny how conservatives always claim “act of God” when a storm destroys their trailer parks.

“Tell me where YOU live and I’ll show up, lib loser.”

We can do this in Times Square. When do you want to be there?

Now PUT UP or SHUT UP, you lying little conservative pussy.

Also, The Blarttocks.

We CONTROL nature!

OK, now you’re just being deliberately retarded. Tell New Orleans folks about how we control nature.

Nevermind The Blartlocks, Here’s the Sex Blartols

Global warming is a crock of shit. In fact, the earth is cooler than it was in 1998. What now, libs?

And so what if it is real? Polar bears can swim. Plus I’d enjoy golf in January. LOL!

“OK, now you’re just being deliberately retarded. ”

Is being retarded like being a PUSSY? If it is, then RedPussy75 fits the bill to a tee.

The only GMC Yukons I ever see are driven by suburban housewives

Or the gardener.

Polar bears drown as ice shelf melts

And blart.

Hey RedPussy75, when are you coming to Times Square?

Or are you just a scared, lying, little puss-boy conservative?

Say, doesn’t that other socialist, Chavez, subsidize gas?

It never ceases to surprise me how much money Conservatives want to give to South American leftists and Middle Eastern potentates because they think it might piss off environmentalist liberals. Hey, guys, did you forget how much we LOVE socialists and terrorists? Go ahead, send them ALL your money and REALLY piss me off! Grr, stomp stomp, so very angry!

Back in the 70s you libs were screaming about a new ice age.

This is the REAL LIB AGENDA:

1)Create fake crises
2)Use said crises to control peoples lives
3)Also use it to destroy capitalism and the industrial revolution
4)Re-distribute wealth from the advanced west to Third World nations (this is why China and India were exempt form Kyoto)
5)Institute a global government to oversea the response to the “climate crisis”

That’s the agenda, libs. Communism didn’t work, so now you’re going to accomplish the same ends of International Communism through environmentalism. Green on the outside, red on the inside! Just like always.

“Or the gardener.”

You mean the Mexican illegal who is doing the housewife while her Republican husband is off slaving at the weapons factory?

The only GMC Yukons I ever see are driven by suburban housewives

Or the gardener.

Hmmmm, housewives drive the gardener, eh?

I gotta get a job as a gardener.

Or the gardener.

I disagree, Actor. The gardeners I see – real men with real jobs – drive pickups. A “Desert Pearl” GMC Yukon with soft leather upholstery and fifty cup holders is great for toting the kids to soccer practice and flute camp, but not so good for the kind of real work that real men do.

I was being kind…you know, liberal, LibSec.

RedStater, you moron, you are a beneificiary of socialism!

If you actually live in a red state, you are getting more federal tax dollars than your state pays out. Stop living off the government teat, freeloader.

I told you libs, I also have a Dodge Ram with HEMI POWER!

Conservative pussies love spending lots of money on Chinese crap and Arab oil.

This is because they hate Socialism and Muslims so much.

The gardeners I see – real men with real jobs – drive pickups.

I was talking more about the Messican who walks into Del Rio and slips under the barbed wire fence of a “ranch owner”, then steals his truck to pick up supplies for his day labor job.

Carefully returning the truck later that day, of course.

Communism didn’t work…

You do know China, whose virtues you’ve been extolling, is a Communist country? Right?

“You do know China, whose virtues you’ve been extolling, is a Communist country? Right?”

No, now they’re Adam Smith on steroids.

I also have a Dodge Ram with HEMI POWER!

Sorry about your small penis.

The only suburban housewives I see are driven by the gardener.

The only GMC Yukons I ever see are driven by suburban housewives.

Nuh uh, unless they wear power suits to the Stop and Shop just for fun.

I also have a Dodge Ram with HEMI POWER!

Oh… a poser truck. A good choice for a cube farmer, I guess, but a real farmer wouldn’t touch it.

I’m gonna mod my truck to run on blart.

After this thread, I could ride to the moon and back on one tank.

Say, anybody remember PNAC and their agenda for America?

You remember, drum up a phony crisis, control people’s lives with it, destroy capitalism and America by spending all the taxpayers money on a war or three, redistribute wealth to the already wealthy, and then institute the New World Order?

Seems to be a topic on everybody’s lips these days…

I told you libs, I also have a Dodge Ram with HEMI POWER!

How much did they charge for the option package with extra penis extensions?

Man. Come for the blarts, end up staying for the piss-poor troll wannabe. What a blartkill.

No, now they’re Adam Smith on steroids.

Then emigrate. Vote with your feet.

“Liberal Secrets said,

Hey pussy Redstater, whats the matter? Afraid to tell me where you live so I can come crush your pussy SUV? What kind of a fucking conservative PUSSY are you, anyway?”

Obviously the kind to blart down your back and tell it’s raining.

Hey RedPussy75, are you going to PUT UP or what? You’re just a lying, sniveling, little puss-boy who is scared to death.

When are you coming to Times Square? You offered to come to my ‘hood and let my baby crush your wimpy SUV. When I told you where to bring your pussy SUV, you kinda ran away.

Like a little, scared puss-boy.

Now, PUT UP or SHUT UP, you fucking liar.

Chris has a blart. We ought to blart blart blart.

Like a father to a son, let me say:

Stop playing with it or you’ll go blind.

Obviously the kind to blart down your back and tell [you] it’s raining.

oh blart.

“Now, PUT UP or SHUT UP, you fucking liar.”

Blart it lib. You’ll get no blarting blart out me you blarting blart.

China is no longer a Comuniss country, they’re blart on steroids.

And also, I’m gonna run my truck on dirty blart just to piss off you liberals.

Then emigrate. Vote with your feet.

I generally suggest “Somalia: The Libertarian Paradise” to morons like this.

Or go blart, as the saying goes.

“Adam Smith on steroids? Now that’s a prospectus that really makes my ticker rise.”

– Steven Crowder

I also have a Dodge Ram with HEMI POWER!

I have a Prius with hemi-demi power, so I guess you got me beat by half.

“How much did they charge for the option package with extra penis extensions?”

It was cheaper than Rush’s oxyblartin’ lib. ROFLMBO!!!!

“I generally suggest “Somalia: The Libertarian Paradise” to morons like this.”

SHHHHH! Don’t tell him! Liberals hate white people who go to African paradises like Somalia. They can always get everything cheap there, and the natives worship them like the Great White Hunters that they are.

NOTHING makes Liberals angrier than conservatives who go to Somalia.

I’m a real man’s truck!

Actually, it’s my mom’s Dodge Caravan.

Blartdogs! Armour blartdogs! The dogs kids love to blart!

ix-nay on the omalia-say alk-tay. It will get too crowded…

o-kay lart-blay?

My baloney has a first name – it’s B.L.A.R.T.

“Actually, it’s my mom’s Dodge Caravan.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

RedPussy75 has a Matchbox model of a pickup and a Yukon that he plays with while his mommy takes him to the shrink to fix the problems that his Uncle Diddler caused.

520. Less than 24 hours. Zombie Thread is going to get nervous.

Yummy, I love Daddy’s cock! MMMMM COCK!

You can’t blart just one.

Hey RedPussy75, are you going to PUT UP or what? You’re just a lying, sniveling, little puss-boy who is scared to death.

When are you coming to Times Square? You offered to come to my ‘hood and let my baby crush your wimpy SUV. When I told you where to bring your pussy SUV, you kinda ran away.

Like a little, scared puss-boy.

Now, PUT UP or SHUT UP, you fucking liar.

Five blarts, same as in blart!

Okay okay! actually it’s my dad’s Dodge Stratus. You libs are mean!! Waahahaahhhhh

Obama is already admitting to blarts libs!!! Bush never made a blart!!! Suck it libs.

Liberals = Stuck on Blart.

Take my blart, please!

In space, no one can hear you blart.

BLARTBABYBLART!

Wow. Liberal Secrets kicked my sorry ass! Who knew libs could stand up to cowardly little stupid neocon-wannabes and treat them like the bullies they wish they were? Damn.

Blartaway Camp III: Blartage wasteland.

You will be receiving a bill for the usage of this firms’ name.

This Steven Crowder guy is hilarious! Okay, not as funny as Julia Gorin, but funny nonetheless.

Blart Academy IV: Blarts on Patrol

Has anyone seen the horse I rode in on?

I love a good dildo up my ass!

My diagnosis for this thread is that it is suffering from an overdose of blart. The standard remedy for this malady is: more blart.

BLART!

Totally straight, totally funny, and not at all racist.

“I love a good dildo up my ass!”

HAHAHAHAHA. Now you’re so scared that your forgot your real name. Let me remind you what it is: RedPussy75.

Are you going to PUT UP or what? You’re just a lying, sniveling, little puss-boy who is scared to death.

When are you coming to Times Square? You offered to come to my ‘hood and let my baby crush your wimpy SUV. When I told you where to bring your pussy SUV, you kinda ran away.

Like a little, scared puss-boy.

Now, PUT UP or SHUT UP, you fucking liar.

BLART BLART BLART BLART WHY ISN’T THERE A WHITE ENTERTAINMENT BLART

The hilarious thing is that Hummers really are basically small-penis cars – they handle terribly, break like they’re made of balsa wood, and cost a fucking fortune to repair. (No, darling, just owning it doesn’t make driving it into a shop and flashing the goods for a discount a manly act.) This is a general feature of SUVs – American workmanship has declined tremendously since Detroit decided that, what with the failure of national healthcare, it’d be much more cost-efficient to simply create shitty cars and market them as penis extensions than to actually invest into good, strong vehicles actually capable of moving on their own merits – but the Hummer in particular is all flash and no substance. Nobody outside of America and its imperial concubines would actually want one.

You want a butch car, you buy German. You want a good car, you buy Japanese. You want to tell the world you fantasize about being manhandled by the Marines, you buy a Hummer. Christ, it’s just a shitty body mod on a minivan frame anyway.

Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet? Am I annoying you yet?

A homeless man gave me AIDS when he raped me up the ass. 🙁

Give me liberty, or give me blart!

Blart-away, blart-away, blart-away all!

“A homeless man gave me AIDS when he raped me up the ass. :(”

Looks like you’re still too scared to remember your name. It is RedPussy75.

If you ever own a SUV or anything else worthy of being crushed by my baby, let me know. Until then, I understand your fear. Being a conservative lying punk bitch like you are often makes one scared.

Oh thank Cthulhu, a blart-break!

RedStater75 said,

February 4, 2009 at 19:20

China has it right

Congratulations, comrade, on your new-found faith in the joy of communism. The People’s Council is proud of you!

We make nature cooperate with US, we don’t need to cooperate with nature! We CONTROL nature!

I believe that’s a direct quote from the mayor of Pompeii …bravo! Then you won’t mind if we fly you up to, say, the northern interior of British Columbia & just leave you naked & alone in the wilderness, will you? Just imagine all the manly fun you’ll have trying not to die – in fact, I’m sure you’ll be “in control” in NO time.

PUT UP or SHUT UP, you lying little conservative pussy.

I smell serious pwnage in the wind: the sudden silence is deafening – looks like somebody’s Yukon pussy is hanging out. YouTube or it didn’t happen … & if it doesn’t, perhaps a certain lurker-under-bridges ought to stick to fapping to his Chuck Norris poster & sucking back Big Macs with extra “cheese” … & stop dragging the collective IQ here down to the level of blart.

Come Blarter, and Blarter, and Blarter, and Nixon.
And Blarter and Blarter, and Blarter to mix ’em!

J—
Could you give a synopsis for those of us who are loath to expose ourselves to teh Crowder (or are just loath to given him any more hits).

i.e. Is he kinda like the Andrew Dice Clay, but without self-confidence?

Eat Snarge and Blart!

My diagnosis for this thread is that it is suffering from an overdose of blart. The standard remedy for this malady is: more blart.

Alternatively known as:

“I got a fever, and the only prescription is – more cowblart!”

Possible Shorter Crowder: The Left is destroying America by imposing nondescript equality and crushing individual achievement.

How’s that?

Snarge is a nice word. Let’s explore its usage…

“Alfred Snarge hit a blart over the outfield blart.”

Perfect.

I actually dream about Chuck Norris. I want him inside me so bad.

There’s more Crowder at the link below, if your tastes run more towards the various phobias – xeno, homo, and so on – but not towards comedy that is actually funny.

http://www.stevencrowder.net/3.html

One of the worst kept secrets among us blouse wearing poodle walkers is that we think it’s faaaabulously funny the way most straight men are terrified of their own buttholes. It’s particularly delicious considering that prostate stimulation greatly reduces the risk of cancer.

BWAHAHAHABWAHA

Also, blart.

The Left is destroying America by imposing nondescript equality and crushing individual achievement.

How’s that?

Adequate for Steve’s re-education camp assignment.

The Left is destroying America by imposing nondescript equality and crushing individual achievement.

It’s easier than admitting that “I’m not as successful as Chris Rock because he’s simply far better than I am.”

One of the worst kept secrets among us blouse wearing poodle walkers is that we think it’s faaaabulously funny the way most straight men are terrified of their own buttholes.

YOU WOULD BE TERRIFIED OF MY BUTTHOLE TOO.

It has no mercy.

I’m hungry for some nondescript equality but I’ll settle for a blart sandwich.

Yes, there are some who are rightly terrified of their buttholes.

[I just wanted to say “butthole” again – it’s one of my favorite words.]

I hate equality that I can’t even pick out of a crowd. That’s the problem with society today – all the equality is the same. That, and the gyms are crowded with spandex-wearing men who can’t keep my eyes off their packages.

PPRIMUS: Well, then, blart’s on blart?

SEGUNDUS: Yes.

PRIMUS: I mean the fellow’s blart.

SEGUNDUS: Blart.

PRIMUS: The guy on blart.

SEGUNDUS: Blart.

PRIMUS: The first blartsman.

SEGUNDUS: Blart.

PRIMUS: The guy playing…

SEGUNDUS: Blart is on blart!

PRIMUS: I’m asking YOU blart’s on blart.

SEGUNDUS: That’s the man’s blart.

PRIMUS: That’s blart’s blart?

SEGUNDUS: Blart.

PRIMUS: Well go ahead and blart me.

SEGUNDUS: That’s it.

PRIMUS: That’s blart?

SEGUNDUS: Yes.

BLART

PRIMUS: Look, you gotta first blartsman?

SEGUNDUS: Certainly.

PRIMUS: Blart’s playing first?

SEGUNDUS: That’s right.

PRIMUS: When you pay off the first blartsman every month, blart gets the money?

SEGUNDUS: Every dollar of it.

PRIMUS: All I’m trying to blart out is the blart’s name on first blart.

SEGUNDUS: Blart.

PRIMUS: The blart that gets…

SEGUNDUS: That’s it.

PRIMUS: Blart gets the money…

SEGUNDUS: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his whart comes down and blarts it.

PRIMUS: Blart’s whart?

SEGUNDUS: Blart.

BLART

SEGUNDUS: What’s blart with that?

PRIMUS: Look, all I wanna blart is when you blart up the first blartsman, how does he blart his blart?

SEGUNDUS: Blart.

PRIMUS: The blart.

SEGUNDUS: Blart.

PRIMUS: How does blart sign…

SEGUNDUS: That’s how blart blarts it.

PRIMUS: Blart?

SEGUNDUS: Yes.

PAUSE

PRIMUS: Blart I’m trying to find blart is shart’s the blart’s blart on first blart.

SEUGNDUS: No. Shart is on second blart.

PRIMUS: I’m not asking you blart’s on second.

SEUGNDUS: Blart’s on first.

PRIMUS: One blart at a time!

SEUGNDUS: Well, don’t change the blarts around.

PRIMUS: I’m not changing blart!

SEUGNDUS: Take it easy, blart.

PRIMUS: I’m only asking you, blart’s the blart on first blart?

SEUGNDUS: That’s blart.

PRIMUS: Blart.

SEUGNDUS: Blart – blart.

BLART

PRIMUS: Shart’s the blart’s blart on first blart?

SEUGNDUS: No. Shart is on second.

PRIMUS: I’m not blarting you who’s on second.

SEUGNDUS: Blart’s on first.

PRIMUS: Mall cop.

SEUGNDUS: Blart’s on third, we’re not talking about blart.

PRIMUS: Now how did I get on third blart?

SEUGNDUS: Why you mentioned his blart.

PRIMUS: If I mentioned the third blartsman’s blart, blart did I blart is blarting third?

SEUGNDUS: No. Blart’s playing first.

PRIMUS: Shart’s on first?

SEUGNDUS: Blart’s on second.

PRIMUS: Mall cop.

SEUGNDUS: Blart’s on third.

PRIMUS: There I blart, back on third again!

BLART

PRIMUS: Would you just blart on third blart and don’t go off blart.

SEUGNDUS: All right, what do you want to blart?

PRIMUS: Now shart’s playing third base?

SEUGNDUS: Why do you blart on blarting Shart on third blart?

PRIMUS: Shart am I blarting on third.

SEUGNDUS: No. Shart is on second.

PRIMUS: You don’t blart blart on second?

SEUGNDUS: Blart is on first.

PRIMUS: Mall cop.

UNISON: Third blart!

[ . . .]

PRIMUS: I blart the blart to blart. Blartever it is blarts the blart and the blart flarts to second. Blart blarts up the blart and blarts it to Shart. Shart throws it to Mall Cop. Mall Cop blarts it back to Whart. Bork bork bork. Another blart blarts up and blarts a blart fly blart to Buttocks. Shart? Mall cop! He’s on third — bookmark this, libs!

SEUGNDUS: What?

PRIMUS: I said “bookmark this, libs”.

SEUGNDUS: Oh, that’s our shortstop.

[FIN]

i.e. Is he kinda like the Andrew Dice Clay, but without self-confidence?

With more, one might say.

(If anyone can find the Howard Stern show version, I would be in her or his debt.)

Yes, interspersed consistently throughout Crowder’s oeuvre is a refrain that shouts (although he may not be able to hear it), “I am not gay! I am so totally not gay!”

Whoops: here.

It takes some time to get going, but it’s about all that needs to be said about ADC.

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blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole
blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole blarthole
butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole butthole
buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart
buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart
buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart buttblart

Some clowns are really fixated on blarting buttholes.

Pardon me, I just blarted.

Felix Mendehlson-Blartholdy’s 200th birthday was yesterday.

This is the blart that never ends,
it just goes on and on my friends
Some people started blarting it, not knowing what it was,
and they’ll continue blarting it forever just because…

This is the blart that never ends,
it just goes on and on my friends
Some people started blarting it, not knowing what it was,
and they’ll continue blarting it forever just because…

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee

Anyone wanna buy a domain name? I just registered 273 different permutations of blartitude.

Ah, Blartleby! Ah, humanity!

Men are strong, women are smart, but no matter how smart, their bellies are always there to betray women and that’s their downfall.

sadly, the vaudeville performer known as “Le Blartomane” was never able to become as popular as his fellow performer.

2. blart
one or more fake-tanned scantily-clad tattooed young ladies whose typical Friday evening’s entertainment would consist of excessive alcohol consumption, giggling loudly whilst dancing around handbags, and urinating in the street.

Ah. So The ladies of Rock of Love, I gather.

What was that link for Schadenfreude Pie again? Oh yeah, here it is:
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/02/gonzo_blames_tough_economy_for_struggle_to_find_a.php

How come libs are so scared they wine about carbon dioxide all the time?

Because carbon dioxide in wine = champagne!

This thread’s commenters have been given blarte blanche, and has that meant a better thread?

Sadly, blart!

Hey! Blarthole Surfers! What a GREAT name for a faux-punk band!

Because carbon dioxide in wine = champagne!

*grabbing flute*

Hey! Wait for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am the Great Blartholio. Are you threatening me? My people, they have no T.P. for their Blarthole. They need crapuccino in a Blartholio for their T.P.

Yeah, whatever.

Meanwhile, Obama shows his hatred for stupid, rural, Kentucky Redumblican redneck wingnut crackers
by ignoring them while they freeze to death.

Local officials were growing angry with what they said was a lack of help from the state and the

Federal Emergency Management Agency. In Grayson County, about 80 miles southwest of Louisville,

Emergency Management Director Randell Smith said the 25 National Guardsmen who have responded have no chain saws to clear fallen trees.

“We’ve got people out in some areas we haven’t even visited yet,” Smith said. “We don’t even know that they’re alive.”

Smith said FEMA has been a no-show so far.

“I’m not saying we can’t handle it; we’ll handle it,” Smith said. “But it would have made life a lot easier”

if FEMA had reached the county sooner, he said.

YOU’RE DOING A HECKUVA JOB, BARRY.

blarte blanche

Y’know, I would’ve gone with carte blarte.

Blartgorah!

Jap Scrap Yaris.

Probably the second-worst character in _Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace._

YOU’RE DOING A HECKUVA JOB, BARRY.

Right. Cuz THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE HAVE DIED!!!!!!!!!!

Oh. Wait. That was Katrina…

Quoth the Raven, “Neverblart.”

Four days ago:

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hxyhhC1qV6qWnOdkwks6C1HpYtPAD961R38G0

and then one day ago:

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5g_8OFJGKcPdCNnCMJOsgRmTtL1HgD963S5FG0

The Kentucky disaster will be closely watched, said Richard Sylves, professor of political science at the University of Delaware, particularly because Obama hasn’t yet named the top FEMA officials, many of whom must go through Senate confirmation.

[…]

“We have had tremendous and quick response from President Obama and his administration,” Beshear said Monday. “I don’t think any of our folks that have dealt with disasters before ever recall as quick a response as we got last Wednesday.”

I learned something!

“We have had tremendous and quick response from President Obama and his administration,” Beshear said Monday. “I don’t think any of our folks that have dealt with disasters before ever recall as quick a response as we got last Wednesday.”

You can’t fool me! That’s made up! He was a character on “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”!

Jesus Christ. Almost 600 blarts.

I learned something!

There you go again, ignoring the real America’s four-day-old values.

Quoth the Raven, “Neverblart.”
Reminds me of something… Scansion breaks down near the end though.

I was thinking Holy Moly
While I read some Steven Crowley
And his quaint and curious lust for bare knuckled bears
He’s so dull I was nearly napping,
Then I heard a tapping
As of someone fervently fapping
Fapping his wee wee till it got sore
‘Tis some wingnut fapping hisself till sore
Only this and nothing more.

And then Steven, ever fapping
Still is fapping, and tongue-lapping
And fondling the bust of some fake-tanned fellow behind the bathroom door;
And his eyes have all the seeming
Of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the baby oil o’er him streaming throws his manly sweat upon the floor;
And his soul from under that bearish man will escape Nevermore
But he’s so totally straight, ya just gotta believe him.

A four-day turnaround is unacceptable, but – again – Obama is still using largely inherited organizations. The relative speed of aid to Kentucky indicates that, on at least some level, the highest levels of government were actively involved in slow-rolling disaster areas they disliked.

This is kind of a ‘no shit’ thing in Katrina’s case – there’s literally no explanation for the horrific divergence between the federal treatment received by Biloxi but Rove basically ordering that Louisiana be put under Federal siege – but the subtler difference, the fact that turnaround time in a fairly remote and politically disadvantaged area is better than at Bush’s best, says a hell of a lot.

Obama may become a disaster
By James Lewis
By their actions ye shall know them. By now we are seeing an ominous pattern of actions by the O administration. We know that President Obama is a very slick liar indeed, but then so was Bill Clinton. But Clinton had a smaller majority in Congress, and was forced to compromise after the Gingrich Congress was elected in 1994. It is still possible that Obama may turn toward the mainstream. But the early omens look dark.

Foreign and military affairs

There is a reason why Israel s voters are suddenly turning to the center-Right Netanyahu and Likud. They fear that for the first time since Harry Truman, an American administration is turning against the Jewish State. Obama s first phone call after the election was made to Mahmoud Abbas. His first television interview was with Al Arabiya. The appointments of Samantha Power and Susan Rice bode ill for the entire Middle East. A meeting with Hugo Chavez — to negotiate what, exactly? Forthcoming recognition of radical Islamofascist Iran on their terms, not ours, are all ominous straws in the wind. Richard Holbrooke has just infuriated two crucial governments in Pakistan and Afghanistan, by predicting their doom, and still was appointed special envoy to those governments.

The O’s just announced a 10% cut for the defense budget, while the overall budget deficit has just risen by two trillion dollars. That may signal a Carteresque drawdown in our burdened military. This is not the time to lower our guard, but like Jimmy Carter, the O administration is betting against history.

We now know that in violation of Federal law, the Obama campaign started negotiations with Iran, Syria and perhaps Hugo Chavez long before American voters elected O. That flagrant disregard for the law and for simple propriety signals a radical turn Left. If that is accurate, expect the Obama administration to start a scapegoating campaign against Binyamin Netanyahu if he becomes Prime Minister. That would be the first time that any American administration has turned against an elected leader of a vigorous, pro-American democratic ally. The voters in Israel may be preparing to go it alone if necessary. It would be difficult, but it can be done.

Flunking Econ 101

The O administration has some sensible economic voices, but they don’t seem to carry much clout. Larry Summers is fairly mainstream, Robert Reich is turning radical, and Paul Krugman is a hair-pulling wild man. The so-called stimulus bill is pure political payoff to Democrat city machines, the teachers’ unions, and faithful leftwing armies like ACORN. Those 1.17 trillion dollars are not designed to stimulate normal economic activity, defined as products and services that Americans want and will work for — which is what “supply and demand” really means, after all.

The economy is one gigantic incentive machine. Take away the incentive value of work and buying things, and yes, you will get a very bad recession. And no, Nancy Pelosi has it wildly wrong by arguing that more subsidized birth control means more wealth per person, for those who are actually born. The administration is even ignoring the first-grade lessons of the Smooth-Hawley with its buy-American provisions in the House bill. Suddenly alarmist headlines are appearing in the worshipful European press. Will the US turn protectionist under Obama? Watch what the Senate does with the outlandish House bill, and we will know the answer.

Future generations are being burdened with this second trillion dollar payoff in a few months — after the first trillion bucks for TARP. But fear not. The O administration is promising yet more trillions in spending, under the mad delusion that the New Deal didn’t spend enough on things people didn’t want. The stock market is signaling fear and doubt. So far, the market looks to be right.

A Commissar style of governance

Vladimir Lenin pioneered a double-layered style of control by Soviet Party Commissars. Every government official and military officer was doubled by a Party Commissar, who wielded the real power. The result was wild swings between radicalization and stagnation in the USSR. Nobody could act without worrying about the local Commissars, who owed their real allegiances to the Kremlin. Obama is using a similar strategy by directing Samantha Power to go wherever new SecState Hillary Clinton goes.

Those two ladies hate each other, even before Power called Hillary “a monster” during the primaries. Power will report on Hillary to the White House. The Obamas are introducing a parallel staff for the major departments in the White House, to keep a jealous eye on its own appointees. The Clintons did this with the Justice Department, where Jamie Gorelick was the real power at Justice, and Janet Reno became the PR front. We know about the results in a suicidal anti-terror policy, the cynical return of the little refugee boy Elian Gonzalez to the Castro tyranny, and the Waco massacre.

A Government-Media fusion

Karl Marx told his followers “First, conquer the Organs of Propaganda.” In Marx’s Germany there was no free press. Britain was one of the few examples of relative freedom in Europe, which is why Marx ended up being a foreign correspondent in London, as a ferocious public enemy of capitalism and elected governments.

Last week we found out that Rahm Emmanuel, George Stephanopoulos, James Carville and Paul Begala have been carrying on daily, hour-long conference calls for the last 17 years, even while they were hopping from one top job to another in the White House, ABC News, and various liberal political campaigns. If you think all the big media sound oddly similar, we now now why.

A lockstep alliance between government and the big media is a marker of radical Leftist rulers. Putin just had a couple of more journalists murdered in Moscow. That is not likely to happen here, but then, it wont be necessary. The big media are already PR flacks for the Left. Well, just to make that relationship of buyer and bought explicit, a Boston Globe journalist has just proposed a special Federal bailout for newsies who have utterly destroyed their own audiences. Somewhere in Hell Jozef Goebbels is smiling.

Appointing openly corrupt officials

Obama’s no-lobbyist rule is now a public joke. Confessed tax cheaters were propopsed for top positions, like Tom Daschle and Timothy Geithner. Big lobbyist power couples in Washington are being drawn in, including the Daschles. And of course we have the endless Congressional show of Democrat corruption by Charlie Rangel, Chris Dodd and far too many others.

The appointment of radical Greenies to positions like the “Science Czar” — a huge self-contradiction — are sending very bad signals to the giant Federal research establishment.

Moving against conservative media

Immediately after the election, Fox News and Washington Times reporters were thrown off the Obama campaign plane. Obama’s first television interview just took place with terror-supporting Al-Arabiya TV, an Islamist riff on CNN. A Republican FCC member has warned that a disguised censorship rule giving local leftist groups additional “community input” into radio license renewals may become law by administrative fiat.

That’s what we are seeing so far. Keep a sharp out in the coming weeks and months. Let’s hope the O’s will see reason somehow. But so far, the signals sent by their actions are ominous.

Y’know, I would’ve gone with carte blarte.
I would have stuck to the a la blarte menu.

Furthermore, for more than half of Obama’s presidency, the sun has refused to shine. It might not be politically “correct” to point it out, but you know what else is black, criminal, childlike, apelike, and constantly stealing your jobs / college seats / elections? That one.

blart blart Obama blart

“I thought the whole blarting point of this abortion was to repel the blarting troll!”

Seems to me I mentioned to y’all just the other day that ignoring the scum isn’t an automatic recipe for getting rid of them.

That said, I gotta admit, it’s getting more and more difficult to tell if RedShitstain is a parody troll, or if he’s the Real Deal. It seems to have the rock-headed stupidity down pat, but then there are isolated moments where it appears to be a little more intelligent than it’s letting on. I mean, you’d think that this:

“We make nature cooperate with US, we don’t need to cooperate with nature! We CONTROL nature!”

Couldn’t possibly be for real. It’s just too far-fetched, even for mere posturing. These days, though, you never know. It’s funny at that to think of some blubbery moron trying to shoo away a tidal wave or an earthquake or a hurricane by yelling at it to leave. “We control you, bitch!” Uh, righhhht…

Shorter Anonymous:

BlartblartblartblartblartOBAMAblartblartblartNIGGERblartblartblartMUSLIMblartblartblartblart
BlartblartblartblartblartHATEHISBALCKASSblartblartblartblartblartBUTI’MNOTABIGOT!blartblartblartblartblartblart

PeeBlart said,

February 4, 2009 at 21:59

Damn. Beat me to it.

Vladimir Lenin pioneered a double-layered style of control by Soviet Blarty Commissars.

Last week we found out that Rahm Emmanuel, George Stephanopoulos, James Carville and Paul Begala have been carrying on daily, hour-long conference calls for the last 17 years

They’re, like, BFFs, and in a totally “Hannah Montana before she became a total slut” kind of way!

But you revised and extended so there’s that.

You also remind me to bring up this very interesting piece from yesterdays Morning Sedition titled Your Family May Once Have Been A Different Color.

What a tasty idea – that a whitey like me (or more to the point, like the racist fucks of the right) probably had black ancestors not that far back in the lineage.

And, blart.

The problem is that there is no longer a place for me to be what I am … a man. The thought hit me at the gym today […]
If someone could tell me that this Crowder dude is a parodist, I would be a happy camper. The other possibility is that he does seriously identify ‘masculinity’ with “having a sedentary life-style and paying to exercise in a shrine of conspicuous consumption that evolved into a status signifier over the last couple of decades”, and that would just be sad.
It would be like identifying masculinity with “wearing a hard-hat as a fashion statement”.

“Lonewolf Diaries”. I think we’re in this Pwnage territory.

Hey, I did my ancient lineage and turns out, I’m from Kenya! I’m a cuzz of the Prez!

Ah, the delights of a wingnut proudly sharing their foot-in-mouth disease.

HECKUVA JOB, BARRY.

Thanks for pwning yourself so we don’t have to.

PROTIP: If you’re a Bush/GOP supporter, & wish to come across as having more than a moribund lump of atrophied brainstem to debate with, do not use “heck of a job, ______ie” (or any variation thereof) in the vicinity of other Americans (& especially not those from NOLA) – ever, for anything, for the rest of your natural life. Results IRL will vary, & may include unintentional consequences not to your liking.

Damn – you mean Obama’s been in power a WHOLE MONTH & he has yet to totally clean up FEMA? What a fucking slacker! Why, George “I Gave Up Golf For Teh Troops (But Not Really)” Bush could’ve already taken TWO vacations by now!

Wow, I wonder who the pack of dickless wonders were that fucked up FEMA so bad that even 4+ years after Katrina, it still screws the poodle over even a minor disaster like a snowstorm … even with more than 4 years’ warning to pull their thumbs out of their ass & do SOMETHING to fix it? Hmm.

Must be Clinton’s fault!

Last week we found out that Rahm Emmanuel, George Stephanopoulos, James Carville and Paul Begala have been carrying on daily, hour-long conference calls daisy chain blartjobs for the last 17 years.

Blarted.

Rahm Emmanuel, George Stephanopoulos, James Carville and Paul Begala have been carrying on daily, hour-long daisy chain blartjobs

The blart just dried from this morning’s brain blarting…

What a tasty idea – that a whitey like me (or more to the point, like the racist fucks of the right) probably had black ancestors not that far back in the lineage.

I’m part Spanish (and old actual Spain-type Spanish at that) so it’s likely that some of my ancestors not only were blackamoors, but could’ve even been MUSLIMS too.

I would be a happy camper.

I imagine this is what it would look like.

Last week we found out that Rahm Emmanuel, George Stephanopoulos, James Carville and Paul Begala have been carrying on daily, hour-long conference calls for the last 17 years

They also totally think that outfit makes your ass look fat.

I wonder if New England Clam Crowder saw this article today?

What a tasty idea – that a whitey like me (or more to the point, like the racist fucks of the right) probably had black ancestors not that far back in the lineage.

I’m part Spanish (and old actual Spain-type Spanish at that) so it’s likely that some of my ancestors not only were blackamoors, but could’ve even been MUSLIMS too.

I’m the sort that roots for the Saracens generally, but even though the Almoravids were to the 11th century what the Religious Right was to the 80s, they were still a damn sight more enlightened than any Christian state then in the running, and their descendants in Grenada were amazing.

Your white forebears are savages is what I’m getting at. I mean, if you go back far enough it’s all idiots shooting gametes at each other in between wallows in their own filth, but some make the jump from pastoral squalor a lot earlier and more comfortably.

I think between everyone in my background the latest any of them stopped being campesine jagoffs with a purely corrupt interest in domestication would be around 1870, so I’m hardly one to talk, but still.

Jesus Christ. Almost 600 blarts.

To be fair, some of that was somebody not getting the memo about blarting until the trolls were driven away, and playing with it needlessly.

To which I saw, blart that blarting blarter.

I’m sorry, the earliest. The latest would be when my grandfather moved out of Idaho in 1991.

To be fair, some of that was somebody not getting the memo about blarting until the trolls were driven away, and playing with it needlessly.

Hey, I blarted at the office.

Blart you, you maniacs. We’ve broken the Islamofascism barrier. Now it’ll be 1387 posts about history followed by me screaming about how we’re all going to blart!

To be fair, some of that was somebody not getting the memo about blarting until the trolls were driven away, and playing with it needlessly.

I am so na?ve. Here I was having a good time.

BYWP!

Hey, y’don’t blart me, I’m blart of the union!

Dr. Blartingston, I presume?

I’m the sort that roots for the Saracens generally

Susan Saracen has nice boobies.

All you of earth are idiots!

When in Ireland, you should kiss the Blarty Stone for good luck.

Plan Blart From Outer Blart
Blart or Blarta

Jail Blart

Bride of the Blart

Dr. Acublarta

Are we human, or are we Blart?

Because I could not blart for Death
He kindly blart for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immorblartity.

We slowly blart, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my blarting too,
For his civblartity.

We passed the school, where children blart
At recess, in the ring,
We passed the fields of blarting grain,
We passed the blarting sun.

Or rather, he blart us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only goassamer my gown,
My blarttit only tulle.

We paused before a house that seemed
A blarting of the ground;
The roof was scarecly visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then ’tis centuries, and yet each
Feels blarter than the day
I first surmsed the blaters’ heads
Were toward eternity.

Dr. Acublarta

“Now let’s take it from the top and I’m not going to ask you again… blarter“

When somebody named Bart plays a trumpet that causes a sound-controlled bomb to go off, I have to ask

Did Bart’s Blat Blast A Blart?

“Obama may become a disaster”

That’s PRESIDENT Malcolm Obama Messiah Muslimfascist X” to you, bub.

Are we not blart?

blart is blart

We are blarto!

I’d blart to make blart to you
Please tell me you’d blart me to…

I’m not a blartoholic, I can stop any time.

CREED RULES

Nietzche –

To blart is to be

Kant –

To be is to blart

Frank Sinatra –

Do blart do blart dooooo

Call Guinness Book of World Blarts!

We’ll soon have set a new record of 24 hours of continuous blarting!

You GO blarters!

17 million Google hits for blart.

Descartes
I blart, therefore I am.

Today’s punctuation lesson –

What difference does punctuation make in the sense of these two sentences:
Blart me, silly.
Blart me silly.

There is no Blart – only Zuul.

Punktuation sucks.

Each day we go about our blart,
walking past each other, catching each other’s
blart or not, about to speak or speaking.

All about us is blart. All about us is
noise and blart, thorn and din, each
one of our ancestors on our tongues.

Someone is stitching up a hem, darning
a hole in a uniform, patching a tire,
repairing the things in need of blart.

Someone is trying to make blart somewhere,
with a pair of blart spoons on an blart drum,
with cello, boom box, harmonica, blart.

A woman and her son wait for the blart.
A farmer considers the changing blart.
A teacher says, Take out your blart. Blart.

We encounter each other in blart, words
spiny or blart, whispered or blarted,
blart to consider, reconsider.

We cross blart roads and highways that mark
the will of some one and then others, who said
I need to see what’s on the other blart.

I know there’s something better down the blart.
We need to find a place where we are safe.
We walk into that which we cannot yet blart.

Say it plain: that many have died for this day.
Sing the names of the dead who brought us here,
who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges,

picked the cotton and the lettuce, built
blart by blart the glittering blart
they would then keep clean and work inside of.

Praise blart for struggle, praise blart for the day.
Praise blart for every hand-lettered sign,
the figuring-it-out at kitchen tables.

Some live by blart thy neighbor as thyself,
others by first do no blart or take no blart
than you need. What if the mightiest word is BLART?

Blart beyond marital, filial, national,
Blart that casts a widening pool of light,
Blart with no need to pre-empt grievance.

In today’s sharp blart, this winter blart,
any thing can be made, any sentence begun.
On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp, on the blart

praise blart for walking forward in that light.

Ayn Rand:
Blart=Blart.

Blarterrific.

Also, I think that was a parody blart. A little too over-the-blart, if you know what I blart.

17 million Google hits for blart.

And they all direct here.

Godammit – FUCK Creed!

Klaatu Blart Nicto

YOU BLARTING MANIACS!!! STOP! STOP RIGHT NOW!!!!

You are taking us all deeper and deeper into Dhimmiblart Territory. Any further and we’ll be looking at Shania Law administered by Blartslamic Mullahs and Blartatollahs.

There was an Andy Kim song,. wasn’t there?

o/~ Blart me silly
Blart me slowly
Take it easy
Don’t you know
That I have never been blarted like this before o/~

Any further and we’ll be looking at Shania Law administered by Blartslamic Mullahs and Blartatollahs.

Shania or Sunny?

Unvanquished by her electoral drubbing, Sarah Palin sets her twinkling sights on bigger game.

With blarts wide open …