Shorter Rod Dreher
Posted on February 3rd, 2009 by D. Aristophanes
ABOVE: Dreher and “friend”
- Why, O Why Lord can’t I find it in my heart to do more than wag a petulant finger at smokers of the Devil’s Weed, who corrupt our youth and ‘have on their bong-cradling hands the blood of poor Mexicans’ … what sort of a Christian am I anyway?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
So, does this mean they have to recall all those Wheaties boxes now, like what happened to that championship snowboarder (although, really, finding a snowboarder on pot is like finding a conservative housewife on depressants. Not hard.)
Dude, do you know how hard it is to get through swim practice at 5 am, NOT HIGH?!
Sheesh.
Pot=liberal?
Michael Phelps =/= punk?
Amazing. The guy is human, so the son stops worshipping him?
I’m sure it would have been fine if Phelps had a photo draining a tankard of beer, but smoking a pipe? Jeez, imagine if he had been masturbating!
So Dreher wants to get Reverend Phelps to help him picket Michael Phelps’ swim meets? Is that it?
In fairness, pot =/= punk, from what I recall. Punks were more into the hardcore shit like elderberry brandy.
I just like how Dreher is constantly struggling with how he isn’t Christian enough in the freak-out vengeful sense, and now he’s beating himself up for not being naturally outraged to the nines by some young guy – gasp! – smoking weed! He blames society, etc.
Maybe Phelps is a Libertarian.
“So, what to make of the fact that America’s Olympic Hero got photographed getting high? This morning I tested the waters in my own house, by asking my nine-year-old, who has had a shot of Phelps swiimming in Beijing thumbtacked to the wall over his bed since the guy won his eighth medal, what he thought of the news. The kid said he was going to take the Phelps poster down, “because it’s bad to do drugs.” I was secretly relieved, and if he had said he didn’t think it was such a big deal, we would have had a father-son talk.”
Yes, literally, wingerism is directly derived from the minds of 9 year-olds.
I think it is a testament to how harmless pot is that a (how many times?) Olympian likes to pull tubes.
With this episode, Phelps went from preternaturally talented DB to all around good guy in my book.
Also, the comment from ‘Lord Karth’:
Mr. Phelps has three things going against him, in my book. He smokes pot. He’s an alcohol abuser (that DWI conviction). He’s a mercenary athlete.
In my practice, I’ve seen a great many people like him. Two-drug abuser, probably untreated; obsessive-compulsive issues, never had a productive job. If he came into my office, I’d refer him for treatment, pronto. …
Under no circumstances would I associate with him socially, nor would I allow any member of my House to do so. Take away the media frenzy, and this person is revealed as seriously damaged goods.
Somehow I think Michael Phelps will get by fine despite Lord Karth’s shunning.
Except we’re talking about Whacky Tobacky here, which doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with drug cartels. Phelps could have had some home-grown stuff for all we know.
The ragegasm over this is ridiculous. Thankfully his sponsors are playing it cool.
Crunchy: A lefty friend says Phelps is enabling mass murderers.
People getting sniffy about Wal-Mart however…
Under no circumstances would I associate with him socially, nor would I allow any member of my House to do so. Take away the media frenzy, and this person is revealed as seriously damaged goods.
Remove the small detail that he is the most decorated American Olympian of all time, and there’s nothing to this guy!
D.N. Nation beat me to it.
D.
Read the good Lord’s comment again.
He’s a psychotherapist!
It’s not such a big deal. You should have the Crunchy Chat with me, Roddy.
Remove the small detail that he is the most decorated American Olympian of all time, and there’s nothing to this guy!
But of course, it’s OK to elect a cokehead to President. Three times in a row now, altho I suspect Dreher would gladly trade in the third one.
Personally, I’m sorry that he apologized. The best part of the whole incident is the dissonance between the “drugs will ruin your life and health” and “n-time gold medalist”.
And then there’s a commenter called Badger who laments that it’s harder to lock people up for loitering since the Civil Rights Movement …
Hey, if anyone’s earned a toke.
Yes, in Lord Karth’s professional opinion, there’s no way a wastrel like this Phelps kid will ever amount to much.
I find the services at the Church of the Herb much more uplifting.
Daniel
February 2, 2009 3:33 PM
“Prohibition.”
It’s not about the substance or the rationale of the law, but whether it is legal or not. While I like to teach my kids abstract reasoning and understand that alcohol and pot and smoking are all harmful but some are legal and some are illegal despite the inconsistency, it is completely rational for you to tell your 9yo that if it is illegal, it’s bad.
___________
Yeah, wingers like Daniel are the REAL non-conformists.
I don’t actually give a fuck about Michael Phelps, but the idea that these fucking losers are tut-tutting about what a slacker this Olympic gold medalist is, is comedy gold.
To be fair, his “I’m so sorry, what a mistake, I’ll never do it again” statement was some hilarious bullshit.
Hell hath no fury like a wingnut who’s had his media-driven narrative fucked with.
Holy sh*t did NORML just pick up a helluva (involuntary) athletic endorsement!
We should absolutely crucify 23-year-olds who do this evil deed.
Just not retroactively, please.
Does this explain why he eats so damn much?
This drug cartel nonsense is really insulting. Pot isn’t that profitable. I live in CA, and I don’t think I ever smoked anything but homegrown. People grow it around here as a moneymaking hobby. Some I know have gotten very comfortable from doing so.
Shorter Rod:
I hate that the fucking dirty hippies are right about pot being no big deal, but fuck if I’m going to side with them over decriminalization.
Besides, aren’t the organized crime cartels their friends? They’re a bunch of right-wing ultranationalist shitbags the world over. Seriously, if Phelps was supporting a Latin American drug cartel with his dime-bag, he’s probably funding half a dozen anti-leftist paramilitary groups in Chile.
It really depends on where you live. Yes, there are criminals who kill who trade in pot and make money doing it: that’s pretty obvious. Nobody, however, knows where the stuff in Phelps’s pipe came from.
I blame myself for Rod Dreher.
He was a student in a journalism class I taught at LSU back in the mid 80s.
I could have flunked him.
But I didn’t…
Who could ever have anticipated this?
Haha. RB said Phelp’s pipe came.
Read the good Lord’s comment again.
He’s a psychotherapist!
Nothing says “well-adjusted adult” like calling yourself “Lord”.
Also, my best SAT score was after a pot party. Got me two scholarships.
Psychotherapists are the ones who need the most of it.
Who wants to get high as a kite and win 14 gold medals? Phelps does, motherfuckers.
I had a mass com law prof in college who always felt bad that Danger Mouse obviously didn’t learn anything from him.
No Pot smoking does NOT make you a <a href=”http://thewell-armedlamb.blogspot.com/2008/11/smoking-weed-makes-you-lazy-loser.htmlLazy Loser. I defended both my ph.d. dissertation and my masters thesis while buzzed.
Woody. You bastard.
And since the Blart phenomenon has migrated to every new thread…
Blarts Barkley.
No Pot smoking does NOT make you a Lazy Loser. I defended both my ph.d. dissertation and my masters thesis while buzzed.
Mexican drug cartels: source of all pot.
There will no peace on the US/Mexico border until and unless BOTH countries at least decriminalize–if they cannot legalize–marijuana…
Blartijuana
Blartijane
Light up a Blart
Blartapulco Gold
Blartoponic
I got a 92 on a 2-semester organic chemistry final after indulging in a beer-tequila-pot bacchanal the day before. I realized that evening I was not about to hunker down and study 2 semesters of organic chemistry. Full disclosure: the test was multiple choice, and I had this weird what-me-worry attitude on the test, which probably explains the high score.
Blartsploitation!
This just in….
14 time Olympic Blart medalist Michael Blart apologized today for having smoked blartijuana (thanks, D-K!). He said he was sorry for his “reblartable behavior” and would never ever let it blart again.
the blartidemic appears to have spread to our hosts. perhaps they had better get another thread up before this one devolves into another blartfest…
I have to say that Michael Phelps being a pothead is less surprising than that snowboarder from B.C. – but not by all that much.
this one devolves into another blartfest…
a SlartiBLARTfest.
No Pot smoking does NOT make you a Lazy Loser.
It apparently does wreak havoc on one’s HTML abilities, though.
It always surprises me to find that world-class athletes smoke anything at all. I figured they’d be more into non-lung-damaging administration like brownies.
a SlartiBLARTfest.
*tipping hat*
I had waited three days to work that in, and you beat me to it.
Radley Balko wrote an awesome letter of notpology on Phelps’ behalf.
“SlartiBLARTfest”
I heard Adams originally was going to have the character named “Sniveling Fuckface”, but they wouldn’t let that on the air. The original version makes Dent’s reaction to learning the name make more sense.
Since wordpress is high on teh PCP, google “Radley Balko Micheal Phelps” for a letter Balko wrote on Phelps’ behalf. It’s chock full of win.
I could not have gotten through law school and my first bar exam without a little assistance. On the other hand, I might have been on time to class more often without said help.
STOP SAYING BLART
For Mister DNA, apparently WordPress seems to let me do the occaional link so:
Radley Balko’s letter for Michael Phelps.
It is indeed full of win. All that’s missing is a finally paragraph that says:
“Besides I can kick all your scrawny asses with my eyes fucking closed – you dipshit l00zzors.”
” nor would I allow any member of my House to do so.”
What, like the House of Harkonnen? I love these guys.
But, dude: A House is not a home.
I heard Adams originally was going to have the character named “Sniveling Fuckface”, but they wouldn’t let that on the air.
He wrote in the notes to the Radio Scripts that he wanted the character’s name to sound like a naughty word without actually being one, so he started with something unbroadcastable (IIRC, “Fartifuckballs”) and fiddled it around.
…the idea behind Slartibartfast being that he was an old man with some sort of haunting problem, and that that problem should be his name.
He’s a psycho therapist!
Fxd.
Slartibartfast
knew if I hung around long enough, someone would explain this. now I have exposed myself as someone who has not read HGTTG.
*slinks away*
Dragon-King Wangchuck,
Thanks for posting the link for me. I don’t know why WordPress ate my link; maybe I shouldn’t have tagged the URL as “F|||R|||E|||E V1AGR@”.
I love GoogleAds. At the Agitator (see DKW’s link above):
Weed Drug Rehab
Individualized Treatment at the largest treatment center in the USA
BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART
Personally I don’t care if Michael Phelps enjoys regular bong hits for Jesus or not. Hey, I went to college once too.
🙂
But I do find the reaction from his corporate sponsors and right wingers interesting. I have to wonder what the reaction would be were Phelps not that “nice Midwestern white boy” who “won America’s hearts.”
I dunno, tell me I’m wrong …
But I do find the reaction from his corporate sponsors and right wingers interesting. I have to wonder what the reaction would be were Phelps not that “nice Midwestern white boy” who “won America’s hearts.”
He’d be a “thug.” Just ask Ricky Williams.
The wingers are going to have a big shock handed to them if they start looking into the freestyle snowboarding party animals of the Winter Olypmics. Those half-pipe dudes even give interviews while fully baked, it seemed to me the last Olypmics.
Blartking News: Lord Karth asked me over at Dreher’s Dump if I would let Michael Phelps ‘court’ my daughter … to which I replied:
Well, I don’t have a daughter, but I do have two sons who I’m raising to be gay … and, no I sure as hell wouldn’t let Michael Phelps court them, so you have a convert and an admirer in me, sir.
Shorter Rod Dreher:
“Drugs are bad, mmmkay.”
Dude, when I was Phelps’ age, I could barely find the motivation to make my eight AM class. The only one who has a right to complain is the person taking the order at the pizza place that Phelps calls when he’s baked, because he takes fifteen minutes to explain that the pepperoni has to go under the cheese because he’s giggling so hard. I mean, we’ve all done that, right?
Fucking Dreher! I should turn him into a warthog.
if I would let Michael Phelps ‘court’ my daughter
Lemme think…Michael Phelps, set for life, multimillion dollar endorsement deal, the IOC accepted his apology, 14 time Olympic medalist, world famous, as opposed to the usual drek my daughter brings home.
Oh. Hell. Yea.
I do have one complaint about Phelp’s behavior: what the hell is he doing smoking pot around cameras?
Your response to Lord Karth, along with some other Sadly responses, has already been deleted, D.
Those half-pipe dudes even give interviews while fully baked, it seemed to me the last Olypmics.
The perfect crime! Got to be easy to get away with, since athletes as a class have never been famous for speaking well.
Looks there to me.
I mean, we’ve all done that, right?
LOL! Haven’t done it myself, but have witnessed it many times. On one occasion, my roommate ended up refusing to order a pizza because he’d call a place, say some ridiculous stoner thing and get laughing, then get so embarrassed he’d hang up and refuse to call back. So then he’d pick another pizza place and call them, etc. etc. until we’d exhausted them all with no pizza on the way. We ended up raiding the freezer and, miraculously, not getting sick.
Truth be told, I’ve only been stoned once – from 2001 to now.
The Aristophanes responses show up on the “recent comments” page but not on the full comment thread. At least on my computer. Perhaps my faith is weak.
if I would let Michael Phelps ‘court’ my daughter
Actually Michael Phelps looks kinda dorky, except from the neck down. I mean this in the most heterosexual way possible, but I’d have no problems with Michael Phelps courting me.
Oops… all the comments are back now. Allah akbar!
Stop blarting that joint.
Allahu AkBlart!
Blart to the Infi-blart!
Blart-lam is the Light!
Is it much farther Papa Blart?
DKW – there’s always the put-a-bag-over-his-head option. Added advantage in that it discourages him from speaking.
Also, wrt Mr. Phelps, I know for a fact that Greg Louganis smoked more than pole.
Blarter, can you spare a dime-bag?
Jelly filled blarts, the ones with the creme icing, are REALLY good after a doob or two.
OT but down goes Daschel. Can’t say I’m sad. One less feckless Dem / Bush appeaser standing in the way of progress.
In another display of his devlish mindblarting powers the wily Overlord Hussein X (pbuh) has nominated yet another human Republican to his throbbing fascist Koranoburo.
True story: Phelps secretly trains in a pool filled with bongwater.
Hey, it’s a rare sunny winter day here in the Pacific Northwest! Maybe I’ll don some tea shades and venture out to tidy up the garden.
Is that the one who’ll give the Democrats a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate?
I mean, doubtless Reid will somehow find a way to let the entire cloture thing slide just this once for every bill any Republican dislikes. The man could find a way to have his party’s bills filibustered by the Libertarian Party. But seriously…
Stop now, Michael Phelps! It’s a slippery slope, man, and if you keep this up you’ll end up with your mom’s house turned into a grow site and on the lam in Thailand.
In other news, Jamaican athletics officials are considering banning smoking at all track and field events out of concern that second-hand smoke will give athletes positive drug test results. This would include both tobacco and marijuana. Bruce James, head of MVP Track Club (Kingston), wonders about the possible ganja ban, “But it’s interesting. How can you come up with a ban for something that’s illegal?”
Also, someone kick Kagan in his hilariously tiny balls. “Wah, Hussein X isn’t literally robbing widows and orphans to buy a billion jillion new submarines!!”
Oh, beautiful. Now the people behind that fucking abortion the F-22 are trying to push the idea of blue-sky air-superiority research and production as ‘creating new jobs’ and insisting it has to be protected from the scary Dhimmicrats.
God, this is disgusting. Like we fucking need to spend billions of fucking dollars on fucking stealth fighters.
Convenience stores the world over are restocking in anticipation of new strains of pot from Hungary.
The time is not far off when one of these successful athletes simply states, “Yeah, I blaze. So what? It obviously doesn’t hurt my performance, so what’s the issue?”.
I really wish Phelps had said that, but he’s young and has many millions of endorsement dollars still ahead of him, so I guess I can’t blame him. In the meantime, we’ll just continue with the cognitive dissonance of claiming that hugely successful high-achievers (pardon the expression) are actually “losers” because of their recreational pot use.
On a related note, Joe the Plumber has found new work as a policy consultant to DC Republicans. Life is good!
Blarter, can you spare a dime-bag?
Ask one of these folks.
I like how basically every photo of him makes him look like an impotent caricature of Mussolini.
Lord, what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall in that room. Flies don’t have ears, see.
“Lord” Karth:
That history sounds so familiar. Where have I heard of a similar history before?
BLAARRRRTTTTT!!! Why you little
Drug-user president #3 in a row, yes?
Social justice? I would throw in the product-cradling hands of banana, pineapple, sugar products and WalMart sweater abusers.
My apologies for the non-Michael Phelpsiness of the oncoming post, but I am about to direct a film of my own script that I have entitled, “Blart’s Eleven”, and I wanted you all to know about it.
The Premise: Disgruntled (but lovable!) security guard Paul Blart, fed up with the wicked liberalness of the modern world, decides to pull off one last hiest in order to save Pie-Jammers Media Group, Modern Conservatism’s only hope against the ultra-leftist Obama Presidency. He chooses his target carefully during his nightly patrol at the local Mall, and immediately gathers the Bestest and Brightest of the Wingnut Right to pull off…the Crime of the Century!!!!!
There follows a montage (set to bouncy pop music) in which Blart recruits his operatives, one by one: John “Ray” Romano as Riley O’Retard, aka “the Muzak Man” (whose catchy tunes will distract Security as his confederates pull off their Big Caper), Doug Ten Nipples as Earthworm Jam Sandwich (the tech expert), Anderw McCarthy as ‘Fat Face’ Malone, aka “Greasey Fingers” (his sticky, food covered fingers make him the best pickpocket of his generation!), the Anchoress as Tits Magee (the Fleshy Femme Fatale), the Ol’ Perfesser as Himself (he’s the, er “Brains” of the operation), Emporer Misha as Piggums Tate (his fancypants, high-falutin’ diction may come in handy), Tom Daschle as Tax Cheat Charley (his tendency to give thorough tongue baths to anyone willing to call themselves a Republican is most gratifying), L’il Debbie as Fatso Hannigan (the Fleshier Femme Fatale), Michell Malkin as Schreechy Ho (her appeal lies in her obvious psychosis) and finally, Micahel Novak as the First Runner Up in the Dick Cheney Lookalike Contest. And Blart makes Eleven.
The plotters meet, and Blart shows them a crudely sketched (in crayon) map of their target: The Mall Water Fountain. “I know for a fact that the Fountian’s coin intake every night is as high as $30 dollars…and sometimes, $35 dollars” he smugly tells his associates. L’il Debbie gasps, “That’s almost double the amount Pie-Jammers Media takes in in a whole year!” They go over their Plan, which is as intricate as a Swiss Watch: They all show up at the Mall dressed as Santa Claus, each and every one of them, and then proceed to loot the Fountain! Why, in the Christmas rush, no-one will ever suspect a thing!
Unfortunately, it’s the middle of July, so they do stand out a tad more than expected. The film ends happily, with the entire cast being machine-gunned to death by the local cops, who mistake them for foreigners. The only survivor is Blart…Will he plan another Epic Scheme to avenge his fallen comrades in “Blart’s Twelve”? Stay tuned, motherfuckers!
DON’T FUCK WITH MY SUGAR.
Also pineapples are very nice, especially on a yummy pizza.
In fairness, as a USAF man Bush Sr had the first generation of drugs with which man had begun to better the Almighty (various relatives of crank) readily available, their use actively encouraged by the service. (Anyone falling asleep on a bomber is a horrid prospect.)
Reagan worked in Hollywood, you figure it out.
Really, if you go back to the last gasp of the Great Binge – the Edith G.B. Wilson administration, say – probably the only men in the office without either the service or the character necessary to be snorting, popping, smoking, or injecting something – are Harding and Ford.
If a man who you know has been clean all his life makes it into the White House, emigrate.
I’ll do my best to comply. Who’s your sugar?
Going ballistic over a record-breaking Olympic athlete smoking Teh Evil Weed With Its Roots In Hell … while about 70% of their fellow Americans (if they were educated as to its numerous benefits & relative innocuousness) would happily opt to legalize it? Go Wingnutz Go! Stoopid-Powers, ACTIVATE!
I can believe that that guy was enough of a stick-in-the-mud that there are no interesting stories at all involving him.
So, it’s O.K. that NOLA drowned after Hurricane Katrina, but somehow, we are supposed to be all upset and all if someone, somewhere that might be a role model to someone else, smoked pot?
This country’s priorities are all out of whack, you know?
Also point whatever of a percent of birth control in a bill that spends a trillion is the thing that cannot be tolerated.
new strains of pot from Hungary
Ja! Ve haff der Budapest Purple…
There must be some good stories about Reagan’s Holllywood days somewhere…. Maybe something with Bonzo the chimp? Or when he was a spokesman for 20 Mule Team Borax (whatever the hell THAT was).
Nancy Davis really wasn’t that good in Donovan’s Brain. She wasn’t even very pretty back then.
probably the only men in the office without either the service or the character necessary to be snorting, popping, smoking, or injecting something – are Harding and Ford.
Carter? Nixon?
Yeah, but she at least has “best head in Hollywood” stories.
Saaayyyy….
Who gave Edith Head?
Or, for that matter, who did Lucille Ball?
Phelps smoking pot is really disappointing. I would have expected much more from him, like snorting blow off Dara Torres’s ass.
Never liked Phelps until now.
zeppo said,
February 3, 2009 at 21:11
Well, like all good Republicans, he was balling Nancy before he was married. Patti was born seven months after the marriage.
Both in the Navy in the same period. You hear about the drugs in Vietnam because Vietnam went to shit, not because it was particularly druggy; the two-decade orgy of violence between the Marco Polo Bridge Incident to the Korean ceasefire was basically the high-water mark of everything man took pleasure in doing, and at the time the only mind-altering substances America was in the business of worrying about were pot and alcohol.
Mind you, that kind of high-water mark tends to coincide with a nadir for civilization, but it’s all about context. Phelps wasn’t smoking pot in order to more efficiently shove a bayonet up a Chinese civilian’s genitals, so…
Who gave Edith Head?
Or, for that matter, who did Lucille Ball?
Who knows? Brian May, but Walt Disney.
(Only works with Scottish accent)
I lost all respect for Paul Erd?s when I discovered that he used amphetamines.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
February 3, 2009 at 20:04
Allahu AkBlart!
Blart to the Infi-blart!
Blart-lam is the Light!
DISCLAIMER TO ALL MUSLIN TERRARISTS
Please take your vengeance out on Dragon-King.
I feel the same way about Lemmy Kilmister.
Jelly filled blarts, the ones with the creme icing
Ich bin eine Blartliner!
Convenience stores the world over are restocking in anticipation of new strains of pot from Hungary.
Pizza shops the world over are restocking in anticipation of new strains of pot from Greece.
So did Hunter Thomson. They’re good drugs for high-intensity assholes or working stiffs. I’m neither, but I don’t like how deeply invested we are as a society in pretending we’re anything other than various molecules spending all day trying to molest each other.
I’m a few weeks older than Phelps, and I consider any day I get up before 11am a major achievement.
CRIME IS EVERYWHERE! CRIME! CRIME!
Lord Karth is teh fonny, if only he’d smoke up, he could express himself in Seussian fashion…
Would you let him court your daughter?
He’s a bum when not in water.
This discussion really makes me want to get out my old Cheech and Chong records.
You know, Sister Mary Elephant is pure comic genius….
Please take your vengeance out on Dragon-King.
If my “Mohammed as the King of Queens” cartoon wasn’t enough, now you terra-appeasing lefties are sending your minions of Islamofascism to get me.
now you terra-appeasing lefties are sending your minions of Islamofascism to get me.
I like my minions sauteed with liver, but I like them sliced on hamburger.
He’s a bum when not in water.
I think you know what my preference is,
When I say to “check for references”
I am much more fond of
Folks licensed and “bonded”
You see, I have my obliGAYtions
To engage in fellations
On a related note, Joe the Plumber has found new work as a policy consultant to DC Republicans. Life is good!
Hopefully he’ll do as well for the GOP as he did for Pajamas Media.
Is it much farther Papa Blart?
Full.Of.Win
Super Bowl XLIII MVP Santonio Holmes, as mentioned in today’s Incredible Shrinking Newspaper’s® Sports Section (six pp.):
Well, he let the previous pass slip through. See!!?!?
non-lung-damaging administration
Either a bandname, or an election promise.
His latest post makes it sort of clearish that Lord Karth is a criminal defense attorney, and not a therapist of some sort.
Cello Scrotum deserves a shot at band-name use.
Best ‘graf EVAH:
Call me a traditionalist, but I prefer “gaiety of nations” with 12,600 Google-hits.
“Gaiety of life” — merely 3,570 Ghits.
Well, I guess we’ll just have to debunk 9031 more cello scrotums.
Heh, Smut Clyde’s talking about hits in the pot thread.
merely 3,570 Ghits
That’s still a lot of gits.
Gosh. Makes me wonder about my previous “diagnoses” for sousaphone bone, digeridoo lap and virginal crotch.
I hate to think what might happen with a triple contrabass.
Oh my. The things one stumbles across. How is I never knew of the Katzenklavier?
I have to admit that my first reaction to “cello scrotum”, before I followed RB’s link, was to wonder what these body-modification people will think of next.
Makes me wonder about my previous “diagnoses” for sousaphone bone, digeridoo lap and virginal crotch.
And tuba boobs.
Comment threads about marijuana are a gateway blart.
Certainly you’ve heard of the mouse organ, tho?
Time for a Bhit.
We literally died laughing the first time we saw that mouse organ sketch.
woop woop Blart Alert!!!! woop wooop
Phelps must be supporting his local economy. It’s probably even some enterprising young conservative selling the stuff to Phelps, forming his own small businesss (outside the IRS’s jurisdiction, natch)
Seriously, who buys Mexi anymore? Waste of money.
digeridoo lap
A life-time of playing the didgeridoo can leave the soft tissues of the lower jaw permanently distended and pendulous, a condition known as didgeridewlap.
John D, I am not going to see “Mall Cop” but I will definitely go to see “Blart’s Eleven.”
I’m also looking forward to seeing “Blartipus Rex,” set in 19th century rural Scotland, performed by the sophomore class at the Edgar Cayce High School in Marietta, Georgia.
I, Blartius
Kinda looks like Dreher is playing a short orange plastic didgeridoo in the photo.
Anybody see Jurassic Blart?
Props to Sadly, No! For putting all its Blarts in one basket.
Dreher is playing a short orange plastic didgeridoo
If that’s what the kids are calling it now, I am not about to cavil.
Hey, how about mandating a ballot initiative that forces all elected officials to undergo mandatory monthly drug tests, with the results being made public? That would end the drug war toot sweet, as them Frenchies would say.
Smut Clyde said,
By coincidence, thanks to the miracle of wireless internet, I am reading this while straining on the pot.
Curse you PeeJ!!!
Well, here’s a better image of that one. It’s called “Reading the Black-Book,” by Flemish artist Franz van den Wyngaert. I had an anthology of witchcraft, one of those books illustrated entirely with engravings in the public domain and photos of a few publicity-seeking occult types.
I can imagine Anton La Vey playing one of these while croaking out “Honolulu Baby.”
Can someone explain to me why weed is illegal when alcohol causes so much death and disorder, and what about tobacco, good fuckin lord, the corporate bitches even got busted doping their deathsticks so that they would be even more deadly and they’re still allowed to sell them. Talk about some fucked up shit and what a commentary on our fucked up culture.
chimpevil: Yes, young brother, you are absolutely right. And I’m afraid much more disillusionment and disappointment await you as you grow older.
Can someone explain to me why weed is illegal when alcohol causes so much death and disorder
A large part of it is due to the fact that nobody can
patent it.
The fact that it was also perceived to be a drug used by blacks, latinos, jazz men, loose women, et al. made it easier for the corporatists to ally themselves with the authoritarians… man, that shit never seems to go away, does it?
Sorry, HREF fail… the wikipedia article is good. Note well the part about the unhempy alliance between Hearst and DuPont.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_history_of_marijuana_in_the_United_States
Here’s a nice little USDA pro-hemp film dating back to WW2:
A large part of it is due to the fact that nobody can
patent it.
Yeah excellent comment blart cubed (i love this site b/c you all are so crazy as hell truly.) Oh but I try to imagine how the govt would actually sell weed if it was legal, I mean I’m there would always be a street market no matter what because people would be like the gov shit is too weak or whatever but I think they should try something, or at least decriminalize the shit because what they are doing now don’t make sense whatsofuckingever.
Nope, all crazy people here in the past as well.
Jeez, imagine if he had been masturbating!
Well if you insist…
ok, done.
That’s funny, because I have this conservative Christian friend who’s a totally real person, and he thinks that Obama is a better conservative than Bush and that Jesus hates Rush Limbaugh.
“The film ends happily, with the entire cast being machine-gunned to death…”
Can you have them all tasered first? Please? Pretty please?
I bet he didn’t swim high. ;}
Just legalize it already, damnit. We’ve had three Presidents in a row now that have not only smoked weed, but done cocaine (one of whom had the balls to admit it) and it didn’t ruin THEIR lives.
The complete apology