Football season is almost over. The holiday season is here. This means two things: That ABC Monday Night Football song is stuck in our heads and we have been drinking a lot of the Gl?hwein. The result? A Sadly, No! song in honor of Amber Pawlik, the internet’s favorite Ayn Rand and Ann Coulter enthusiast, to the tune of Hank Williams Jr.’s Are you ready for some football. Hide the children. We’ll be at the bottom of the barrel if you need us.

Well it’s Monday Night and we’re ready to strike
Rational man is in full flight
We’re coming with reason and self-interest
Objectivism’s taking over the town
We gotta get ready, we gotta get right
It’s gonna be a battle at Penn State tonight

So get ready!
I mean get ready!
Are you ready for some Amber?
A Randian invasion
This is rockin’ Amber
With a special alert for the Atlas
Here come the end, the facts, the pursuit, the ethics
’cause all my Randian friends drop in on Monday nights!
Phi-lo-so-phize!

They’re ready for reason across the land
The women in the soup kitchens they understand
The immorality of community service
It ain’t nothing but cowardice
Egoism’s rocking on down the line
Servitude cowers, it’s pressure time
Time to bring out the individualists
She has no need for tribalists

Are you ready for some Amber?
A Randian party
Yes sir, this is Sadly and our mission
Is to get this whole thing started
You’ve got atlases shrugging
This blog is psyched
’cause all our Randian friends drop in on Monday Night

Yes sir this party is fun
This is the biggest party
You’ve got Amber and her friend Ann
They’re gonna get the liberals started
The crew’s all set
The timing is right
All our Randian friends are here on Monday Night
That’s right!