I have a cold and black little heart…
Posted on January 20th, 2009 by Brad
…but even I could not help but be moved by our Supreme Commander Hussein Obama X’s inauguration speech just now.
Consider this an open thread.
…adding, that I’m disappointed that Obama rejected the first draft of my inauguration speech, which involved him torching the Bible, lifting up a Koran and yelling, “WHITE PEOPLE, YOU BE FUCKED NOW!!!! AAAAAH-HAAAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAAAAA!!!!”
Yes yes, hope change responsibility & all that, now can we please get back to building my shit moats? Oaken Pines isn’t just gonna flip itself.
Ugh…someone please for Teh lurve of Baby Geebus! STOP. THE. “POEM”!
Same here. I said on a board elsewhere that if you’d told me a few years ago that I could get literally choked up and tear-eyed at any sort of freakin’ political speech or event, I’d have told you to shut up and pass me the bong.
I’m a pile of jell-o today.
I’m with Heinlein (I think it was), who basically said that the recitation of poetry in public was an awful vice.
I don’t know what to say about Aretha.
Poetry is just code for “bathroom break”.
The President is wearing black gloves, so I was kind of hoping that we’d see him do a Black Power salute with hand on Bible.
Whitehouse.gov is an ASP.NET site. I can’t believe his administration is a failure already.
Half an hour has elapsed and nothing has been fixed. Has the One deceived us?
While driving I thought of a nice phrase with which to troll the kooks. Others beat me to it.
My favorite part was when he promised that every Christian womb-boy-and-girl would be aborted and every Muslim womb-boy-and-girl would be dyed black made Senator.
See y’all at the UN white people reeducation camps!
I too am a cynical pig…still….come on. How can one not be moved?
OPEN THREAD!!!! Man, I’ve been waiting a long time for an open thread at S,N!
Split pea soup (it’s fucking cold out), grilled sandwich – roast beef and swiss cheese on caraway rye. And a V-8, because I’m a sissy.
It is done.
PHEW.
I have to admit that I felt like Biden’s swearing-in was the important one. After Cheney’s hands were off the levers, Obama’s arrival was just gravy.
…adding, that I’m disappointed that Obama rejected the first draft of my inauguration speech, which involved him torching the Bible, lifting up a Koran and yelling, “WHITE PEOPLE, YOU BE FUCKED NOW!!!! AAAAAH-HAAAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAAAAA!!!!”
I was kind of hoping that he and Michelle would show up with Angela Davis-caliber ‘fros, and that Flava Flav would come scuttling out to rap the national anthem as the entire audience got up to get down.
A missed opportunity.
How long until the Collected Wingnuttery claim that the botched oath was “illegally performed”, and is therefore somehow illegitimate?
Glad to see Hal Turner’s death balloons failed.
the botched oath was “illegally performed”, and is therefore somehow illegitimate
CTRL-C, CTRL-V
I too am a cynical pig…still….come on. How can one not be moved?
Easily?
Being a godless reason-based sort, I’ll be a capo in the Re-Edumacation Camps.
*ululuates*
I was waiting for him to turn to the camera, reach under his chin for the edge of the latex, and let the beard spill to the floor, as staffers rushed to distribute the burqas.
Anyone see what paranoid delusions the internets have spawned thus far:
http://www.jihadwatch.org
http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/
“Did you see it? The man couldn’t say the oath! He stumbled, he flubbed, he mumbled, he could not remember three words….. three words. Great (no cue cards)”
The Hal Turner balloons were deployed, but their trajectories were telekinetically altered by The One.
Kinda lost it there while Aretha was singing. She sounded a bit rough in spots (who wouldn’t, singing in that cold?), but man, the lady still has pipes.
And Obama’s speech was magnificent.
Yep, more than a couple of tears from this old, crusty atheist…(and as a co-worker pointed out, couldn’t the fucking Chief Justice of the Supreme Fucking Court have at least REHEARSED the bloody oath????)
i was kinda hoping that gdub and dick would be handcuffed and frog marched off to a secret prison as soon as the one said i do.
pity that.
the botched oath was “illegally performed”, and is therefore somehow illegitimate
LOL – just what I thought when I heard his bobble. I expect it on all the ‘nut sites soon, if it isn’t there already.
I read this blog too much.
ABC just said the Chief Justice flipped some words in the swearing in, and hence Obama’s hesitation.
He says “We do not apologize for our way of life.”
I do. It fucking sucks.
Oh, John Roberts. Can’t you do anything right?
I mean, I like the idea of a sitcom where a bumbling Chief Justice inadvertently alters the inauguration formula so the Presidency defaults to Gordon Brown, defends the death penalty in terms that would exonerate the builders of Auschwitz, and each episode begins with a cold open of him trying to and barely succeeding at putting on his robes upside-down and a laugh-and-jump freeze-frame that sometimes exposes his junk, but rather like 24, living in it has been an innovative new kind of Hell.
Didn’t see the swearing in, I’ll have to look it up and watch it, but the speech hit pretty much all the right notes for me. How nice to go from not being considered a citizen because of my lack of religious beliefs to being mentioned in an appropriately neutral manner in an inaugural address. I’ll bet Dobson’s head is just exploding over that.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
________
Dear PNAC:
Fuck You.
Hugs and Stuff
Your President
ABC just said the Chief Justice flipped some words in the swearing in, and hence Obama’s hesitation.
Aha. Does that mean that Obama is disqualified, that Roberts has to leave the court, and Biden is president now? I guess he could name Obama VP and pick a new justice, and things would be not all that bad, really.
But srsly. If the ‘nuts make a big deal of it, can we point out that they haven’t given a shit about the Oath for the last eight years?
George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, private citizens.
Sweeeeeeeet
It was Roberts who screwed up. Barack just seemed confused, trying to figure out if he should correct Roberts or just repeat what the CJ said. I was a little disconcerted that our CJ apparently can’t remember the friggin’ Constitution (suppose it shouldn’t surprise me).
Personally I was hoping for the ritual suicide of the previous administration. Or maybe some ceremonial flogging. Tar and feathering? Riding the rail? We really need to show more respect for tradition in this country…
My first draft of the Inauguration speech went something like:
My fellow Americans, I stand humbled before you, ready to take up the mantle you have deemed to hand to me – but I know that my time as President will be a short one – and that the Office itself will endure long after I am gone. Thus it has become increasingly evident that my first duty, of defending and upholding the Constitution requires that I tirelessly dig into what the shitbags have been doing for the past eight years – IN YOUR NAME. I may not accomplish much of my own agenda, but I am damn sure that I will make the fuckers who shit this country into the toilet pay for their actions so that the next creepy batch of snake oil salesmen will think twice before messing with the US of A. And my first step in doing that is declare George W. Bush and Dick Cheney and all senior members of their administration are now “enemy combatants” and will be taken into custody for interrogation until we find out just what the fuck happened.
Aretha was great.
The poem was meh.
Dr. Lowery hit it put of the park. He should’ve given the poem.
can we point out that they haven’t given a shit about the Oath for the last eight years?
I especially liked the part about upholding the Constitution. WINK WINK
Forty years ago, as Philadelphia Bulletin carriers, some friends and I won a trip to Richard Nixon’s first inaugural parade. I still have some black and white polaroid photos of the day, which commenced with a train trip from 30th Street Station to Union Station.
Sharpshooters on tall buildings along the parade route.
Today, I sent a care package to my son, who is guarding prisoners at Badoush, outside Mosul.
I’m speechless. And, remarkably, somewhat hopeful.
1- I too teared up – ashamed to admit it but there there were.
2 – Part of me would have liked the “White People you be fucked now!” version. If only for the squeals of panic that followed.
I must admit I was kind of surprised Obama didn’t need to take himself hostage and escape to the White House. Change has come to Rock Ridge.
Drawing and quartering, followed by gibbeting. Maybe we could ship them all down to Gitmo, and lock up any of them that survive being keelhauled along the way.
Was anyone else watching as they showed everyone moving through the Capitol to the stage? Bush looked absolutely terrified, and I wondered for a split second why…then it hit me…there weren’t any “free speech zones” set up blocks away. And then I started to hear the booing, which he probably was already hearing, hence the look on his face.
The commentators were all tsk-tsking about what “bad form” it was for the crowd to be booing the outgoing president. Me, I’m thinking, hey, he’s been shitting on them for 8 years and this is the first time they’ve ever had the opportunity to let him know exactly how they feel about that, and him.
I also noticed a look cross his face when Obama pwn3d him on his torture regime. I think that was one of the biggest applause lines in the speech.
Good riddance, bitch.
He should have given the invocation, too.
So… are there ICBMs in flight, or did we actually manage to make it through the entire 8 years of Gee Dumbya without him nuking anything?
“He should have given the invocation, too.”
Damn straight.
I believe it goes something like “Avoid poets who read their work in public. They may have other nasty habits.”
Robert Heinlein wrote stinky, sexist, flibbertigibbertarian prose; it’s little wonder he hated poetry. I was watching Michelle Obama’s face, though, and she seemed to be seriously contemplating what was being said, even if it was a little too bland and nonspecific. Bless her.
BTW, apropos the day: Do you suppose we’ll see any flying produce or “Not My President” signs along the parade route today, when Obama walks to the White House and the Secret service won’t have to break into a run?
=
“we drank the bitter swill”
=
The Disaster That Walks Like A Man never could play football. Apparently that includes nuclear football. Heh. Good thing he’s just a cheerleader.
Indeed.
Did anyone notice the reference to “non-believers” in the speech? I feel suffused with a warm, hopey-changey glow. No, seriously. Is nice to not be an unperson in the eyes of our civic religion for once.
He forgot the Wiccans. Do we officially constitute Hindus or unbelievers?
Reading through the Inaugural Speech and I notice that your false King Barry X Hussein SatanoGheylover botches it in paragraph two.
In actual fact, forty-three Americans have taken the oath. And, as the Constitution clearly states, failing the trivia question immediately after being sworn in totall negates and nullifies all your stupid patchouli hippie shit, so there. No-bama for you.
I believe the good Reverend, there at the end, made Rick Warren look like the Dr Phil of religion that he is.
Yeah. That stood out to me as more interesting than anything else in his list. Okay, it sounded a bit tacked-on, but still. Nobody ever has the balls to acknowledge that there are plenty of atheists and agnostics out here.
Woot!!
Yes, I thought that rocked.
He forgot the Wiccans. Do we officially constitute Hindus or unbelievers?
You’re with the Sikhs, in line behind Native-Americans for the gas chamber. Don’t believe me?
Barry hates him some Injuns.
I have one thought:
FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!
I believe he made him look like a fat, greasy, unctuous bag of scunge.
Not that he isn’t one already, or that he doesn’t look the part.
I was just hoping for a good “Can you diiiiig it suckas!?”
He forgot the Wiccans. Do we officially constitute Hindus or unbelievers?
Isn’t the Threefold Law Judaic? 😉
So had I, for a short time. Sigh.
Well, Microsoft may be a bastion of evil, and a huge waste of money for web servers of all things, but their new tech is a damn sight better than the pre-.NET crap.
(The more cynical among us may see this as a useful analogy.)
As a former subject of the Bush throne, I would like to extend the following piece of advice to those who oppose our great leader in this time of tragedy and crisis and are facing eight lonnnnnnnnnnng years of seeing a President Obama:
Drink heavily. You’re going to need it.
Nobody ever has the balls to acknowledge that there are plenty of atheists and agnostics out here.
Nice change, that. One could almost get used to it…
Robert Heinlein wrote stinky, sexist, flibbertigibbertarian prose; it’s little wonder he hated poetry.
True, but boy is it a hoot when you’re a 13-year-old boy!
In all seriousness, I’ve rarely heard poetry read well. It’s somehow like watching a film version of your favorite book–it sounds different in your head. I had to turn off T.S. Eliot’s reading of his own poetry; I couldn’t stand it.
To hastily restate my point: I’d really prefer that presidential speechifying didn’t seem to require name-checking every single major religious group in the first place, because there’s always going to be someone you’re missing.
The Wiccans make that nice patio furniture don’t they?
So, let’s see.
I think the most important question is “where was Obama’s big-ass hat”? We got to show these sons of slave-owners that we got some hats now!
And we got a great speech without someone shooting Cyrus. Thank God. And as it is now 1:30 eastern time, comsympinko and everybody who wants to screech and caterwaul about how Obama hasn’t fixed the country before he ran the country can now do so with my blessing.
Get to it, folks, I expect gnashing of teeth, rending of garments and then dressing in naught but sackcloth and ashes.
I believe he made him look like a fat, greasy, unctuous bag of scunge.
That was my thought when Warren came out to give his godbag speech — what, this guy couldn’t have gotten a haircut for the fucking INAUGURATION, for crissakes? Or at least showered and washed his greasy hair? Good grief.
I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised at the inoffensiveness of Rick Warren. I was expecting Bad Things.
I like poetry, usually, but that particular piece was wrecked by its delivery — too much of the intonation of a second-grade teacher explaining the importance of hand-washing. But every public poem reminds me of a long-ago SNL skit with David Alan Grier as Maya Angelou doing commercials for Butterfinger bars in the cadence of her Clinton inaugural poem, the one about rising…
The real history of witchcraft is actually very interesting; see books by Richard Kieckhefer and Michael Bailey. They explore its gradual invention around the 14-15th century, literally demonizing superstitions that were previously considered harmless.
Wicca, alas, is a purely modern contrivance that deserves no more respect than Mormonism. I mean…oh.
What I am really really really looking forward to is seeing him seated in the Oval Office. He’ll bringing nobility back to that space (after Bush), *and* a sense of dignity and decorum Pres. Clinton did not have much of!
When it comes to mixing religion and furniture style, I prefer the clean lines-meets-gangsta chic aesthetic of Tupac Shaker.
Yes, W looked like a significantly diminished man throughout the proceedings. Personally, I hope that, going forward, the entire strategy of the wingtards is to obstruct, make black jokes, and go on and on and on and on about how Barack requires a teleprompter in order to convey a message.
He’ll bringing nobility back to that space (after Bush), *and* a sense of dignity and decorum Pres. Clinton did not have much of!
Just so long as we don’t have to swoon over him forgetting to take off his goddamn coat.
When it comes to mixing religion and furniture style, I prefer the clean lines-meets-gangsta chic aesthetic of Tupac Shaker.
I dunno, the kind of blocky woody feel of a good Missionary style couch works for me.
After he said non-believers, I said, “Thank you.”
But my favorite part of the whole ceremony was seeing Dr. Strangelove assume his rightful at Bush’s side.
He’ll bringing nobility back to that space (after Bush), *and* a sense of dignity and decorum Pres. Clinton did not have much of!
Fuck dignity and decorum. I’ll settle for him having half the wits of Clinton.
In all honesty, I am seriously looking forward to seeing this later on – seeing how Obama delivered this Inaugural Address. It’s a grown-up speech from a grown-up man. He lays out the hand
he’swe’ve been dealt, looking at where the holes are. It’s a speech where he’s calling it as he sees it – and while it’s not how I see it, I can at least believe we’re looking at the same picture.Although the word “terror” appears in the speech one time too many, that’s about a million times fewer than we’ve gotten used to.
Including non-believers. Addressing the evil Islamofascist Muslim world. Indicating that he’s open to dealing with dictators if they “unclench their fists”. Acknowledging the disparity between the global haves and have-nots. Yes, please – more of this.
It’s a good speech, it reads “cinematically” – with archetypal imagery. It’s better crafted than any of the twisted bon mots or sound-bite catch-phrases that have dropped from the Deciderer’s spew hole.
And, because the snark switch is broken in the ON position, I think it’s fantastic that he ends the thing with a story about Killin’ Whitey.
Well, I like Wicca, and practice some of their precepts myself, because they are so good. Like thinking of the Godforce as male half the year, and female half the year… nothing like it to free one’s mind from preconceptions.
The fact is, any religion can look silly when we drill down into the dogma, but there are people who live moral lives anyway. Whether because of it, or despite it; doesn’t matter.
I’ve met lovely Christians and annoying Wiccans, and vice versa.
And me… I’m a Taoist. Is that a religion, or a philosophy?
Or… the Reece’s peanut butter cup of spirituality?
Well, I couldn’t resist popping Limbaugh on to see how the tiny-dicked pseudo-man would react — and he didn’t disappoint.
He’s replaying the oath of office — and bleeping out “Hussein” by both Roberts and Obama.
What a tiny, tiny little pseudo-man that Limbaugh is.
Well, I’m not super hot on being repeatedly told that the entire history of the Earth and my existence, &c., is purely caused by and for the glory of some anthropomorphic personification I don’t believe in. But I guess that’s what these invocations are about — “ha ha, big G, we’re just sort of goofing on that secular democracy thing.”
Or at least showered and washed his greasy hair?
He did, but it’s a little-known religious requirement of funnymentalist Christianity that all funnymentalist Christians must spray themselves lightly with cooking spray every day, after showering, to give that appropriate “lightly-basted” look.
By their greasy countenances shalt thou know them…
(I’m glad someone else here made the “Rick Warren is the Dr. Phil of Dominionism” connection.)
An inevitable progression from those crackpot Herman Millerites.
Just watched Bush & Laura leaving on a Jet-plane. Didn’t Laura look HAPPY? She always looks stoned or… something, but today she looked really happy. Bush, not so much.
I dunno, the kind of blocky woody feel of a good Missionary style couch works for me.
If you’re doing it on the couch, why go Missionary when Reverse Cowgirl is just as logistically feasible?
Anyways, everyone knows that the One True Furniture Style is laid out in the Lord’s Prayer – Our Father, who has Art Deco in Heaven…
Reading through the Inaugural Speech and I notice that your false King Barry X Hussein SatanoGheylover botches it in paragraph two.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath.
In actual fact, forty-three Americans have taken the oath
Heh, it was forty-two Americans and a baboon who’d taken the oath.
Barack Obama is the first twenty-first century president. I used to joke that Dubya was the last nineteenth century president, but that would besmirch some truly great historical figures. Bush’s eight years will most likely come to be seen as a weird, ahistorical period- a feverish dreamtime in which the the real USA had been kidnapped, and an evil changeling left in its place.
True, but I figure the whole Religion Thang is mostly a metaphor for the whole intangible concept of a “higher purpose” or “something bigger than all of us.” Secular ethics with a Christian skin don’t really bother me anymore. Religious morality, like what you should or shouldn’t put in or take out of your own body, that irritates me. I liked that (as far as I could tell, real-time) Warren stayed more in the ethics domain than the moral one.
First time I’ve ever sat through one of these things, and although it was good (although why did Aretha sing ‘God Save The Queen with odd words), the religious overtones were a little disconcerting. However, I am a godless European type, so fair play.
Although I hate politicians playing historical games normally, BHO’s little revolution story towards the end of his speech was very powerful. Yes, he may well sell us down the river, but its a step in the right direction.
Did enjoy his shout out to us godless types, though.
All I was really interested in was Dubya getting the frick out. My heart swelled with joy when Executive One (the helicopter) lifted off and circled the Mall as the remaining crowds below started singing: nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah hey hey hey goodbye.
Yes, it is finally over.
I used to joke that Dubya was the last nineteenth century president…
Heh. I agree with you that Dumbya doesn’t belong to the 21st or really any century. I thought he belonged – and I will never get tired of referring to his presidency in the past tense – to TWENTIETH CENTURY II! Which was a weird scary parody.
“Bush’s eight years will most likely come to be seen as a weird, ahistorical period- a feverish dreamtime…”
Or, a long national nightmare…
He did, but it’s a little-known religious requirement of funnymentalist Christianity that all funnymentalist Christians must spray themselves lightly with cooking spray every day, after showering, to give that appropriate “lightly-basted” look.
Annointing, it’s called. Helps them get those wide loads through the door frames they forgot to Jesus-grease.
He did, but it’s a little-known religious requirement of funnymentalist Christianity that all funnymentalist Christians must spray themselves lightly with cooking spray every day, after showering, to give that appropriate “lightly-basted” look.
By their greasy countenances shalt thou know them
Be fair to the fat fascist fakir, it was cold out, so he smeared himself with goose grease, much as Gertrude Ederle was said to have done before she swam the English Channel.
Yes, it is finally over.
does feel like a long time…
One other point my wife pointed out. Its the first president (or leader of our respective countries) that is the same age as us. Don’t know why it feels good, but it does.
Revenge of Generation X.
And did anyone else notice W looked like a dog who has piddled on the carpet? Jiminy Louise, the whole first half of Obama’s speech was about what a pit of shit we are in… and the one who put us there was sitting ten feet away!
It’s not enough, but it’s something.
It’s nice having a first lady who doesn’t look like she was upholstered instead of dressed.
It just occurred to me — the shout-out to nonbelievers was a Public Enemy reference. “Yo Chuck, we got some nonbelievers out there!”
I found myself deeply confused by the speech. Isn’t the new President supposed to officially announce who we are supposed to hate now?
Where was the call to kill brown people? Huh? Huh?
It’s a new day. After today, every child in the United States can have nightmares about becoming President.
What you do with your own couch, in your own home, is your own business.
Funny, two simultaneous comments on Warren’s unctuousness.
and I will never get tired of referring to his presidency in the past tense – to TWENTIETH CENTURY II! Which was a weird scary parody.
How about TWENTIETH CENTURY 2.0? You know, the version which was rolled out prematurely, with a lot of bugs, glaring security flaws, and some serious crashes! Now, the old platform has been scrapped, and TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY has been rolled out, to the acclaim of most reviewers.
Did the crowd really sing “Hey hey goodbye” as Bush left? Didn’t that happen to Mr Burns in a Simpsons’ episode?
Leon Trotsky Johnson is right!
When I’m alone, I prefer to Biedermeier.
They’ll have to think of something better to call us now. I suggest “The ones who cleaned up after the shits that went before us.”
One other point my wife pointed out. Its the first president (or leader of our respective countries) that is the same age as us. Don’t know why it feels good, but it does.
Actually, that freaked me out. I sat there and went “Holy banana, he’s only 10 years older than I am.” ‘Course, my dad always says that the REALLY freaky time is when the president is *younger* than you are. That’d be weird.
“We ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right,” Lowery prayed.
I think it was “get back” but hey I got this from CNN. Stole the show. And when Aretha’s on the bill, that’s some achievement. Oh and that guy with the big speech too.
Personally, I still prefer “slacker”.
It’s more fun to self-reference as such while you’re busting your ass to get something worthwhile done, or at least advanced.
Makes ’em think.
Gen X: The Slacker Picker-Uppers.
‘Course, my dad always says that the REALLY freaky time is when the president is *younger* than you are. That’d be weird.
I’m 47, and the President of the United States is 47.
That’s weird enough for me.
This doesn’t bother me a bit. In fact, it pleases me that he’s fully met my expectations. The nation is in crisis, and he (and his listeners) are obsessing over a man’s middle name. Seriously, who gives a shit about middle names? They’re a fucking afterthought. The only time you hear someone’s middle name is if they’re being sworn in as President or if they shot one.
No, I thought it was a P-Funk reference. 6:20 on.
Checking out the speech right now on Le Web … congratulations, America – you’ve got a real President again.
Heck, I’m not even a Yankee (not to mention being habitually skeptical as hell) & his speech gave ME a “wow” tingle … his ability to inspire is truly Jedi-league, & that’s a most timely blessing indeed. Tough times aren’t quite as harsh with a little inspiration on your side.
Talk about progress. He not only speaks in complete sentences that parse – he speaks in paragraphs!
Lee H* Oswald, for example.
Oh wait, he didn’t actually do it. Nevermind!
How about TWENTIETH CENTURY 2.0? You know, the version which was rolled out prematurely, with a lot of bugs, glaring security flaws, and some serious crashes!
Also a fine metaphor – never install those point-oh versions!
But I think I’ll stick with the “bad movie sequel” metaphor.
Okay, so I’m now older than the President of the U.S. Happy now?
I didn’t mind the poem. I lurved the farewell taunt/hymn “Na na na na, etc.”
I fucking loved the Yo-Yo Ma chamber piece.
I agree, Bush did look unsettled as he was coming out. Laura managed to both look good and to look like The Joker, as she has of late.
I have to laugh. FReepers are making hay over that line that Roberts flubbed, about “faithfully executing” the office, claiming Obama threw him off his stride!
Leon Trotsky Johnson is right!
[frontier gibberish]
Anyways, everyone knows that the One True Furniture Style is laid out in the Lord’s Prayer – Our Father, who has Art Deco in Heaven…
Look, even God has his funiture done up by Beau Zart, Mo’s brother.
The one who makes the money is white not black
You might not believe it but it’s like that
FReepers are making hay over that line that Roberts flubbed, about “faithfully executing” the office, claiming Obama threw him off his stride!
So is it being generally recognized that Roberts fucked up?
…not that I care all that much about this kerfufflet. Even if the oath had been administered improperly, the process has been a shitload better than an appointment of the President by the Supreme Court.
Okay, so I’m now older than the President of the U.S. Happy now?
See, if you had voted for Hillary, you could still feel better about yourself.
So is it being generally recognized that Roberts fucked up?
Unless, in one final act of attempted sabotage, he intentionally gave Obama the incorrect oath…
What?
Talk about having powers to unite. Tupak Shakur appears simultaneously on a thread at S, N! and at The Children of the Corner. Additionally, I find myself agreeing with Mark Hemingway – the Obama and the Civil Rights Regulators is cringe-inducingly tacky.
The only time you hear someone’s middle name is if they’re being sworn in as President or if they shot one.
…or if it’s “Wayne“.
Trilateral Chairman said,
January 20, 2009 at 20:35
Robert Heinlein wrote stinky, sexist, flibbertigibbertarian prose; it’s little wonder he hated poetry.
True, but boy is it a hoot when you’re a 13-year-old boy!
In all seriousness, I’ve rarely heard poetry read well. It’s somehow like watching a film version of your favorite book–it sounds different in your head. I had to turn off T.S. Eliot’s reading of his own poetry; I couldn’t stand it.
—-
Richard Howard reading his own poetry is really quite wonderful. I went to reading by Howard Nemerov lo these many years ago and remember it as terrific. He had a very quiet voice, and there was no amplification, but that was almost a virtue; it made you really pay attention. I’ve been to some artists colonies and some of the writers read well, but in general, you’re right (and not just the poets).
And I confess I still have a certain fondness for some Heinlein books, especially the juveniles. I’m certainly not a historian of SF, but he was the first SF writer I recall reading who even suggested that women could be soldiers or mathematicians, or that blacks could run international agencies or even governments. When I was a kid, the main characters in SF were all lantern-jawed white guys. Women or minorities were afterthoughts, at best. Heinlein never completely got over his sexism (or mother issues), but I’ll give him credit for helping to change at least my perceptions about certain things.
HLN channel (used to be CNN Headline News) cut off Obama’s speech about about 15minutes into it so that they could run commercials. Surely this was a mistake by HLN, right?
I hear, per GOS, that the Freepers are saying Obama is not really President because… the oath was flubbed.
Roberts may have been expressing a subconscious fear of Obama & his new Justice Dept. with the “I will execute-” flub.
I am at work so didn’t see The Speech. But I am also quite happy about that little acknowledgement to those of us the rest of the world has labeled as non-believers.
So, if a non-believer ever would get elected President, what would he or she put his or her hand to to swear to? The Bible certainly wouldn’t make a lot of sense. Carl Jung’s “Man and His Symbols”, perhaps. Or maybe Roger Corman’s “How I Made A Hundred Movies In Hollywood And Never Lost A Dime” would be appropriate….
And I confess I still have a certain fondness for some Heinlein books, especially the juveniles. I’m certainly not a historian of SF, but he was the first SF writer I recall reading who even suggested that women could be soldiers or mathematicians, or that blacks could run international agencies or even governments.
Likewise. I think – and reading some of his letters backs this up – that Heinlein knew a bunch of changes were on their way. Doesn’t mean he had to like it, and I do think his work is “stinky, sexist, flibbertigibbertarian prose” (LOLz!) on the whole. Still, I reread Red Planet every couple of years.
Oh, and: Now Justice Stevens can retire. Well done.
Oh my God, Obama truly is a time bomb. A ticking time bomb of shania!
“Treat me like Kareem Abdul Jabbar,” he says, because he’s a Muslim!
So, if a non-believer ever would get elected President, what would he or she put his or her hand to to swear to?
To nitpick, I think they would not swear but rather affirm. I don’t know if a book is required – I’d go with Richard Scarry’s What Do People Do All Day? because it was the first book I ever read by myself. That’s, like, symbolic or something.
Obama said it wrong! Roberts tricked him with the Republican dyslexia! Works every time. This is inauspicious! Everything else augers well, Roberts just didn’t know the drill.
Robert Heinlein really had a severe Mother complex thing going. “Time Enough For Love” really quite embarrassed me, even in high school!
Well, Barry Hussein X Osama has been presidnet for a couple of hours and there have been no attacks on teh Homeland. Why don’t the wingers appreciate this?
Asimov was writing strong women and minorities while Heinlein was still dicking around with EPIC and imagining a terrifying world in which the Japanese enslaved whites to blacks.
And he’s far from the only one. SFF tends to be pretty reactionary, but there are always exceptions to the Laser-Toting Aryan on one end of the Atlantic and high-born pointy-eared natural masters on the other. And Asimov basically spent his career being one big exception.
But my favorite part of the whole ceremony was seeing Dr. Strangelove assume his rightful at Bush’s side.
I think you mean Mr. Potter.
Flippant answer: the Kinsey report.
Actual answer: the Constitution. (Furnishes the mechanisms for dealing with perjury – and given the track record of people who have nothing but God’s good grace to fear, I’d go with that by a nose.)
Jessica Alba called Bill O’Reilly an asshole.
on Fox News!
http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/kind-hole-jessica-alba-tells-truth-a
Not The Bible.
Asimov was writing strong women and minorities while Heinlein was still dicking around with EPIC…
My reading of Asimov is sadly lacking. I will look into his early stuff.
(I found a first edition of David Starr, Space Ranger – with the Paul French pseudonym – last time I was out book hunting. Beautiful condition, too. Sadly, I did not have the means at the time to buy it.)
Fun fact: the car General Motors elected to build for Obama is an armored body on a Caddy frame.
Discuss amongst yourselves.
Fun fact: the car General Motors elected to build for Obama is an armored body on a Caddy frame.
Thank god it wasn’t a Lincoln or we’d never hear the end of it from the FReepers.
Jessica Alba rocks…
I see that Rush said, on his radio show, that he “hopes Obama will fail.” Gee, who would have ever thought that?
However, I think I still vote for O’Reilly to have the first full-blown meltdown on air. Someone is going to say the wrong thing to him and Bill will have an aneurism right there. There will be much rejoicing.
DING DONG DILLY LIBS!
OBUMMER SCREWED UP THE OATH! HE’S NOT REALLY THE PRESIDENT!
Atheists may affirm by raising their right hand. The oath would be altered to reflect this (and the official text recognizes this, if you read it). From our Constitution, Art II, Sec 1:
I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.
There are, in fact, four separate references to an affirmation as opposed to an oath in the Constitution, making America one of the more atheism-friendly places on the planet.
Fuck. Seems that plane is really going to Texas. I was hoping they were actually flying him straight to Den Hague.
OBUMMER SCREWED UP THE OATH! HE’S NOT REALLY THE PRESIDENT!
Criticizing the Commander-in-Chief in a time of war emboldens – that is, gives aid and comfort to – the enemy. That is treason, and you knooooooowwwww what the penalty for treason is.
Badoodle boo no, Xecklawhoosawhatsit, Obummer’s not really the prez! The Cool Coach can’t be treasonous, loony lib!
I was hoping they were actually flying him straight to Den Hague.
The plane you see is the decoy. There was a daring mid-air transfer, during which Bush soiled himself, to a second plane that’s headed for Paraguay or maybe Dubai.
Jeez, it amazes me what’s in my brain sometimes.
In fact, Bibles were never used in courts until fairly recently, and the word “testimony” is rooted (pun intended) in testicles, since that’s what the witness was to hold onto while speaking, including taking an oath to tell the truth.
So effectively, if an atheist was to take office as President, he would affirm holding his ballsack with his left hand.
I’m not sure what an atheist woman would do…cup her tits?
The Cool Coach can’t be treasonous, loony lib!
By criticizing Obama, you’ve insulted Joe Biden, which is (for the same reasons) treason. And you knoooooowwwww what the penalty for treason is.
Criticizing the Commander-in-Chief in a time of war emboldens
In Coach’s case, it embiggens.
I see that Rush said, on his radio show, that he “hopes Obama will fail.”
Oh, isn’t that big of him. The entire country’s economic health depends on Obama succeeding, so I guess that shows us what Rush thinks of America.
“making America one of the more atheism-friendly places on the planet.”
Really? Not from my little knothole. Certainly, we aren’t herded into pens with cattleprods or visited by Grand Inquisitors, but really… My original post on the subject was more of a joke than not. A non-believer will NEVER get elected to high office in this country, unless we go through some big time changes. I think the country would be more willing to accept someone who is gay than an athiest. There are places in Alabama (which, unfortunately, I used to live in for a while) that you would get the crap beat out of you for announcing the fact.
That’s why I thought our inclusion in Obama’s speech was very nice. It wasn’t much more than a throwaway line, in my mind, but still, it’s nice to hear that we exist and that we are American’s, regardless of what the Pledge of Allegiance says.
Umm they both said it right eventually. So it’s cool.
and in fact, he was already president when the clock struck noon.
“Americans”, not “American’s”… My punctuation gets carried away frequently. I think semi-colons should be abolished. They are really confusing.
I would like to declare Jan 20th National STFU Wingnuts Day.
“making America one of the more atheism-friendly places on the planet.”
Really? Not from my little knothole.
OK, how about “one of the more atheism-friendly places on the planet … in theory”.
You’re right that in practice it’s been very backward. I too was happy that Obama threw us a bone that way today.
Really? Not from my little knothole.
“Americans” maybe.
“America” officially, is one of the more friendly places.
Look, we had a Declaration that gave rights to all men and Americans held slaves. You have to make that distinction that Americans fail to live up to the ideals, frequently, of the nation.
and in fact, he was already president when the clock struck noon.
Actually, not. For five minutes, Biden was president.
NOOO! NOOO! HE IS NOT PRESIDENT! YOU LIE! YOU LIE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THIS JUST IN FROM THE COOL COACH said,
January 20, 2009 at 22:29
I like pie!
Liking pie in a time of war, if you don’t eat the pie specifically to support the Commander-in-Chief, is treason. And you knooooooowwww what the penalty for treason is.
Liking pie in a time of war, if you don’t eat the pie specifically to support the Commander-in-Chief, is treason.
Oh, I hope Obama likes apple pie, because a) it would be unAmerican to not like it and b) I want to support my President in any way I can, but I really don’t like boysenberry.
“America” is not equal to “Americans”… O.K., good point, actor212. But that’s a bit like saying that “America” has really been a place for equal opportunity for all, men and women, black and white, for the past 220 years. In theory, sure. But it really hasn’t worked out that well. So, we can quibble about semantics, I suppose, and I acknowledge your point. But I, for one, am rather thin-skinned on the subject. Sometimes, I really don’t feel like I belong in this country. I really took a lot of crap during my high school years in Alabama because of my beliefs, or lack thereof. I when I hear loons like James Dobson or almost any evangelical Christian speak, I know that I am seen as their enemy. They don’t need to know anything else about me. It’s depressing. I can sort of relate to how gays must feel. It’s something you “don’t talk about.”
Well, enough of this subject. This is supposed to be a Happy Day for all. I am overjoyed that Bush and Cheney, along with all their enablers, are gone. And we never even got around to bombing Iran!
And is it mean and petty of me to be amused at the sight of Cheney in a wheelchair? Yes it is, and I love it.
I am overjoyed that Bush and Cheney, along with all their enablers, are gone. And we never even got around to bombing Iran!
It is worthwhile to reflect on the shit that Busheney wanted to do but didn’t pull off. War with Iran and dismantling Social Security come to mind.
A non-believer will NEVER get elected to high office in this country, unless
There’s actually ONE ! 1 I admitted atheist* in congress. From CA and I don’t recall his name nor do I feel like looking it up using the intertoobz machine.
I think the country would be more willing to accept someone who is gay than an athiest.
Many people have said the same. Including me, a gay atheist.
* For you younguns, that’s how they use to call teh out gheyz – “admitted homosexuals”
My fave part: the little moue of disgust, followed by a little gulp, on the part of Bush, when Obama got to the bit about “we don’t torture.”
Wonder if he was having a little mental movie preview of what it would feel like to have to stand for hours in the dock at The Hague, as his crimes are dissected, and all the rats who were offered deals stab him in the back?
The “Na-na-na-na-hey-hey” singing as the chopper took off is just too good to disbelieve. I would’ve loved if the crowd would have arranged themselves, Busby Berkeley style, so that from above they looked like a giant hand, middle finger extended.
This is for zeppo and a212 especially:
“It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.” – Molly Ivins
Oh how I wish she could have been there today!
zeppo — you whine too much.
the president specifically mentions non-believers in his inauguration address and you are still crying about not getting any attention.
be graceful when receiving a compliment.
From Firedoglake:
http://firedoglake.com/2009/01/20/would-everybody-just-give-justice-roberts-a-break/
Sheesh.
I know, nonbelievers sounds so negative, but it’s a start.
Since I’ve been unable to come up with a better word for the last five minutes, I’ll give them that… and “open minded” and “the sincerely doubtful” are such loaded terms, one way or another…
A prediction, if I may: the muffed-oath-love will pale in comparison to their joy at Byrd’s and Kennedy’s health issues.
Zeppo,
I’m a born and bred New Yorker. Worse, I’m an Upper East Side liberal kid.
I can’t even begin to imagine what you went/go thru on a daily basis. The closest I can relate is being a skinny little Nordic kid with blonde hair, blue eyes and a winning smile in a Sicilian neighborhood. I had to curry favor with the, you know, element and even then I got the shit kicked out of me regularly for being different.
But even that pales in comparison.
You’re right, of course. There ought to be room enough in this country for atheism as well as theists. Me, personally, I’ve always believed in live and let live.
But that’s what MY Jesus teaches me. 😉
Or not.
It may come to be heralded (regrettably, but plausibly) as the regime that ‘sealed the deal’ for the CorpoRat/Authoritarian/Globalist crowd. History is written by the victors, and there is no evidence that the Bushevik/Neo-Con orthodoxy has been vanquished. Indeed, I think the GOPukes threw the ‘election,’ particularly for the purpose of escaping the escalating catastrophes of the Bush era, so that when it proved impossible to rectify them (as it almost certainly will), they would be able to prosper electorally from the chaos.
On the other hand, there wouldn’t be much point in digging up Molly Ivins to be there – she wouldn’t have seen anything.
Frankly, I don’t think they’re that clever, woody.
Yayyyyyy!
*I* whine too much?!? Geez! I do not! How can you say that? I don’t whine! Us whiners never get any sympathy…
Excuse please, but having a discussion isn’t always “whining”. I was not referring to Obama’s speech, but was responding to actor 212. We were having a nice, albeit whiney, discussion. Now, please, Doug, sod off.
And did anyone else notice W looked like a dog who has piddled on the carpet?
I amazed the ignorant little shit wasn’t pulled kicking and screaming from the White House in his underwear like William H. Macy in Fargo. In a fair world, he’d be constantly covering his crotch for fear of little children punching him in the nuts.
zeppo — you whine too much.
the president specifically mentions non-believers in his inauguration address and you are still crying about not getting any attention.
be graceful when receiving a compliment.
‘Cause, remember, the only good atheist is a quiet atheist. Now, shut up and pretend you actually believe in this Jesus person they keep talking about, at least while everyone’s looking.
Jessica Alba called Bill O’Reilly an asshole.on Fox News
Awesome, and she looked so adorable, so sweet, as she said it.
BEST PWNAGE AY-VAR!
D.N. Nation said,
January 20, 2009 at 23:00
Yayyyyyy!
I liked that Ms Geller got all huffy that the Jews got pushed back to third place in the list.
I wondered about that when I heard it: was Obama deliberately tweaking the noses of the crazed white ringers or was he highlighting his commitment to solving the problems between America and the Muslim world?
I’m betting the former, myself. He’s been know to patronize a time or two unnecessarily.
Now to synthesize the thread:
If I, as a non-believer, were ever in that situation, I would place my hand on Jessica Alba. Then I would flub the oath and have to try again. And again, ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo.
Or maybe Roger Corman’s “How I Made A Hundred Movies In Hollywood And Never Lost A Dime” would be appropriate…
Careful. I’m pretty sure if you swear on that, Roger Corman will hold you to it.
being a skinny little Nordic kid with blonde hair, blue eyes and a winning smile in a Sicilian neighborhood […] I got the shit kicked out of me regularly for being different.
Isn’t that EXACTLY what our Aryan Christ endured through his childhood?
How many shower-loofah fantasies of Alba has O’Reilly had. He must be crushed.
Found this on Newsbusters, regarding the “hey, hey, goodbye” chant as Bush’s helicopter took off:
On the contrary! I have a very, very, very good idea of what he has done.
Isn’t that EXACTLY what our Aryan Christ endured through his childhood?
Well, I didn’t want to admit it, but I am the son of a carpenter…
If I, as a non-believer, were ever in that situation, I would place my hand on Jessica Alba. Then I would flub the oath and have to try again. And again,
Best. “Shorter”. Evah.
Actually, that freaked me out. I sat there and went “Holy banana, he’s only 10 years older than I am.” ‘Course, my dad always says that the REALLY freaky time is when the president is *younger* than you are. That’d be weird.
I am one day older than Obama. It is, indeed, a strange feeling.
Now that we have an African American president, I would like to suggest that all “smooth jazz” radio stations replace Kenny G with John Coltrane.
When I want to swear on a book, I write one.
Okay, so back to the
inculcationinauguration thingy. My impression of O’s speech was basically a series of bitch-slaps to W. Who didn’t seem to understand what was happening. Until the torture part when he finally figured it out. So that was pretty amusing.And the worst part of the whole day for Obama, I thought, must have been riding in the limo with the chimp yapping on and on about how to be a preznit. If it happened, I have newfound respect for his self-restraint in not pushing the ex-pres-but-stillPoS out of the moving limo.
And in one of those awesome can’t be coincidence things, the top reddit pages have not one but two! 2 too um…tu? S,N! synchronicities. First, an article about Tycho Brahe’s pet moose, and second, turns out the annoying ShamWow guy is spending all his money suing the CoS.
be graceful when receiving a compliment.
Acknowledgment of existence is not a “compliment,” you douche nozzle.
I’m a Christian, so my gauge could be off here, but “nonbeliever” does sound kind of… I don’t know. Not great. Like saying “negro” any time past 1970.
Is “atheist” just a loaded term now? My atheist friends don’t seem to think so, but… what’s the preferred nomenclature?
Holy banana, he’s only 10 years older than I am.
Your belief system intrigues me. More details, plz.
I have newfound respect for his self-restraint in not pushing the ex-pres-but-stillPoS out of the moving limo.
And you just know Bush ripped a big one the second he sat down and the doors were closed.
Is “atheist” just a loaded term now? My atheist friends don’t seem to think so, but… what’s the preferred nomenclature?
Whores of a different culture? *ducking*
When I want to swear on a book, I write one.
I could never understand why anyone would spend months or even years to write a book when you can buy one at almost anywhere for a couple bucks.
“So, if a non-believer ever would get elected President, what would he or she put his or her hand to to swear to?”
The Necronomicon?
“And is it mean and petty of me to be amused at the sight of Cheney in a wheelchair? Yes it is, and I love it.”
So nobody kicked Dr. Strangecheney’s wheelchair down a flight of stairs? Talk about missed opportunities!
Seriously, Cheney in the wheelchair just made me laugh. Such an obvious play for sympathy…It’s like the old SCTV character Guy Cabellero. Whenever anyone would ask him why he used a wheelchair that he obviously didn’t need, Guy would snarl back something along the lines of, “For respect!!”
I could never understand why anyone would spend months or even years to write a book when you can buy one at almost anywhere for a couple bucks.
There’s this whole subculture of narcissistic yobs for whom no one else’s words could ever truly present their own world view, so they feel compelled to put their pathetic thoughts to paper and forcefeed them to the literary pipeline like grain to a goose. It’s sick, twisted and these people ought to be shot on sight.
OT, my own book will be published this fall, entitled “Why I’m Right And The Rest Of You Are Morons”.
I say we reclaim “killjoys”.
Love this story
Is “atheist” just a loaded term now? My atheist friends don’t seem to think so, but… what’s the preferred nomenclature?
Personally, I’ve always prefered “Matt” because any other label is far too limiting. If you’re gonna put me in a box, make sure it’s a big box with windows I can look out and maybe a nice couch to nap on.
That being said, I’ve been calling myself an atheist more and more, mainly because of all the whining that goes on from the Amy Sullivan crowd about how us mean ol’ not-Christians are wrecking everything for People Who Believe (that is, Christians and Jews and maybe some Hindus and Muslims if they aren’t too scary). As often as not, you’ll see someone claim to be an “atheist, but not the x kind” where “x” stands in for obnoxious or snarky or even daring to say “Hey, maybe all this phony religious hoo-hah like invocations before the president’s sworn in that we do mainly for appearances’ sake but partly just so’s Bill Donohue doesn’t wet himself is kind of silly”. People like that just irritate me to no end, and the idea that I’m supposed to act in such a bass-ackward manner fills me with the devil.
Sorta like calling myself a “feminist” when I don’t know for sure if a man actually can be a feminist, but I do notice who gets pissed off when I claim to be one and it doesn’t bother me one whit.
Matt:
Well, it’s not like you have to be atheist to find the invocation stuff bullshit. I certainly recall saying it not a few weeks ago when everyone was shitting themselves over Obama (read: Congress’s little prom preparation team) having Rick Warren doing it.
But then, I am kind of obnoxious.
Is “atheist” just a loaded term now? My atheist friends don’t seem to think so, but… what’s the preferred nomenclature?
The label of atheist works for me. I admit I’ve gotten some interesting reactions, but I’m out and proud. My sixteen year old son is very open about telling people he’s an atheist as well. In fact, he can be kind of aggressive about it. I think the times are a-changing on this front as well. Obama’s embrace of science is a real good sign for the future.
OK, he’s inaugurated. Now, where’s my fucking rainbow sparkle pony?
More important…
WE WERE PROMISED A PUPPY.
WHERE’S THE GODDAMN PUPPY.
This administration is morally (and doggedly) bankrupt!
Having to take a position on crazy bullshit is a defeat in itself.
Is “atheist” just a loaded term now? My atheist friends don’t seem to think so, but… what’s the preferred nomenclature?
Without apology, sane person.
> OK, he’s inaugurated. Now, where’s my fucking rainbow sparkle pony?
For every 5 Christians you convert to Islam, you get one.
I’ve already earned 8 ponies!
I suggest a trip to Gateway Pundit today, for a nice view of the butthurt.
Is “atheist” just a loaded term now? My atheist friends don’t seem to think so, but… what’s the preferred nomenclature?
Generally, something just as fucking loaded.
PeeJ: Wow. Glad I never jumped aboard the ‘har har, stupid ShamWOW’ bandwagon. That’s monumentally fucked up.
Maybe the brighter bulbs planned something like this, but it didn’t exactly work out that way. In fact, the neocons touted McCain’s victory as proof that the Establishment was against them, so McCain went whole-hog overcompensating for it – ditched Lieberman (who is the primary reason the Khalidi attack was made, which is just incoherent and mildly surreal otherwise) for a passive-aggressive barking head a la Bush, stopped taking counsel independent from Rovians, and backed neoconservative-style lies-to-children speechmaking and positions on the economy and the war.
They thought McCain was going to stand up and take it like a man. Instead, like every other fucking politician in Washington, he came to them weeping like a little boy with a scrape about how mean the Wall Street Journal was being to him. They manipulated that for all it was worth – they tried to run a media freeze-out, tried to dominate the conversation the way they had learned to with Bush in office, but that didn’t work – McCain was a media scene creature, a vile little man whose political fortunes depended on favorable coverage, and all of a sudden he wasn’t just biting the hand that fed him but siccing a vapid pit-bull on it in the process.
Then Savakshy-chan got impatient and busted his October nut in August — so the open acknowledgement of the ‘self-defense’ line being a sham began in November, not January. And the economy collapsed around him – John McCain, the only Republican visible in the Congress who had opposed Bush’s disastrous Lafferian boondoggle – and he did anything he could to get a “who’s a good boy?” out of the Straussian piss-a-beds. Denied the problem existed when it clearly did. Tried to stage a little straight-talk kabuki act over it – but he had stepped on too many toes to pull that off, and he became a laughingstock.
He spent October desperately throwing out everything he could, and the surprise line – something his campaign had clearly felt would be crucial in winning over older Jewish and evangelical voters for whom the “black=Marxist=arab” canard actually held weight – was Khalidi. He had a candidate whose own priest had exorcised the demons of Jewish media baronetcy and Obama sharing a state with a moderate Palestinian activist was a hate crime?
Of course, once the whole hateful episode was over, once the unholy chimera of nasty campaigning and holier-than-thou politics had flopped on a scale unheard of since Goldwater, McCain got graceful, the right-wing media elite desperately rifled around for someone, anyone to patronize (and settled on their own audience, evidently), and a million blood-soaked tongues began singing all-too-familiar hosannas to unity. “Wouldn’t it be wise to employ our policies, you idiot? Can’t you and all the other niggers forget the politics of hate and join us, the only real Americans, in bipartisan friendship? Bookmark this, Democrat Party. Wub, Bobokins.”
So yeah, maybe it was planned. I don’t really think so. But to the extent any of it was, it’s a clear case of people who are infamous for it (c.f. Rove’s snap decision to make political lemonade of Katrina resulting in a highly-visible federal siege of a US state) overestimating their own capacity to frame the issue and manage the debate.
People remember this shit. Your big-time Villager flacks like Broder won’t – they heart them some GOP dick, and their entire careers are built on being genial enough to charm their editors while trying to squeeze bombing Afghanistan and bombing Iraq into “radical versus sensible” – but the people who give the money, the air time, and the political pedestal to various political actors know damn well that the Republicans have fucked up, and fucked up bad.
Obama could be worse than Hoover and the result would be not a Republican victory but a primary replacement. America finds the GOP so distasteful that they’d even prefer a horrible man like Harry Reid to it. Compared to that, anything Obama is realistically likely to face is small potatoes.
I am thrilled the President is now going home, where he doesn’t have to be excoriated by a bunch of trashy, classless people
Yes, one thing’s for sure: the Bush clan is well-known for including very few trashy, classless people.
> having Rick Warren doing it.
He was a super-blowhard. I think he might’ve said more words than Obama did. There were about five ironic statements in his whine/rant, given his hatred of gay people. The overall rhetorical quality of his whine/rant was about a 3 on a scale where a crack addict begging for money is a 1, and the Gettysburg Address is a 1000.
WE WERE PROMISED A PUPPY.
No, no, you misunderstoodd. The Obama girls were promised a puppy. You were promised a black guy as president. Sorry if there was some confusion.
Having to take a position on crazy bullshit is a defeat in itself.
Dude, I’m from rural Mississippi. I’ve spent the vast bulk of my existence having to give an opinion on crazy bullshit. “Why, no uncle who helped raise me, I do not think black folk are all cursed by the sin of Ham and, thus, my cousin is shaming us all by marrying a black dude, what a perfectly dumbass thing to say.” That sort of thing.
Is “atheist” just a loaded term now?
I will settle for “faith-deprived” or “differently faithed”.
Generally, something just as fucking loaded.
Ain’t that the truth. I like “free thinker” but I’m not confident enough in my cognitive abilities to actually claim it for myself (though I fell madly in love with a bartender who called me it once, though she wasn’t interested). “Nonbeliever” implies more active disbelief than I’m personally comfortable with. “Bright” is just silly and probably the most disappointing thing Richard Dawkins has ever done.* I don’t mind “agnostic” for those who are truly agnostic, but once you cross the line, it comes off as wishy-washy. And don’t get me started on atheist symbols. Someone once sent me a link to a page full of symbols that have been adopted and/or suggested for use by atheists/nonbelivers/freethinkers/me, and I swear I got madder than I really should’ve. Humanity’s downfall is in neat little symbols for my group and your group, bleh.
* Best thing Richard Dawkins ever done? Lala Ward, of course.
Having to take a position on crazy bullshit is a defeat in itself.
I feel that way about superstring theory.
“Nonbeliever” implies more active disbelief than I’m personally comfortable with.
Yeah, that’s my hitch. That, and it sounds like a group defined by what it’s NOT rather than by what it IS, which is just another way to diminish them.
“Atheist symbols” seems to be missing the point, no?
“free thinker”
“Nonbeliever”
“Bright”
“agnostic”
How about “Mostly harmless”?
Whatever happened to the term “secular humanist?”
Also, there isn’t really a name for what I am: I don’t feel the question of whether God exists is a valid one. Denying the proposition is to give it more gravity than it deserves.
That’s just theology, though: culturally I’m a Catholic apostate and morally I consider myself a social humanist. As I’ve said before, it takes up a great deal more of my concern whether someone feels compelled to treat their fellow human beings decently than whether they think any specific entity exists above and beyond their own experience.
I also feel that Christianity in America, as much as it’s worth anything at all, is a cultural flavor of a wider Enlightenment religion focused on attaining as just a personal, social, and political rest state as possible; American Christians (outside of the truly weird and horrible subculture which continues to regard Jesus as a sort of divine Aryan warrior-king and rather than expecting justice be done by him expect him to beat up Dr. Wily’s gods with one another’s weapons) tend to be pretty much identical in the broad strokes of faith, goals, and ethics to American Muslims and Buddhists and even fairly non-messianic faiths like Hinduism and Judaism – and, indeed, atheism.
But that’s a subject for another day.
Best thing Richard Dawkins ever done? Lala Ward, of course.
QFT. Bless her hotness, and her incredibly dextrous little fingers.
“Nonbeliever” implies more active disbelief than I’m personally comfortable with.
How about faithless or deism-free.
Satan’s sky-clad minions?
Whatever happened to the term “secular humanist?”
Fits well, but that’s a lot of syllables to slip into a list.
I will settle for “faith-deprived” or “differently faithed”.
Faith-challenged?
Personally, I kinda like the idea of “faith depraved”.
On a surely completely unrelated note, I propose the Bush memorial be built in New Orleans and consist of a weeping mother of indeterminate race holding a dead child. The caption, obviously, would be “SHOW US YOUR TITS”.
Fits well, but that’s a lot of syllables to slip into a list.
Yeah, same thing applies to “happy member of the reality-based community.”
Or how about old-school style:
Godless heathen.
At last we have a President who will bring Honor Integrity and RESPECT back to the Whitehouse. GObama!
And as a parting shot to the outgoing criminal, I present two pictures I made, one highlighting the legacy of the thief;
http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/8922/legacyog2.jpg
And the other a drawing I made of a scene I’d love to see;
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u77/watch-dog/LincolnemancipatesBush-fromhisteeth.jpg
Goodbye and good riddens ya lousy bastard.
> “Nonbeliever” implies more active disbelief than I’m personally comfortable with.
I like “non-superstitious” or “un-superstitious”, whichever is grammatically legal.
Hellbound?
We left-handed Estonians have been slapped in the face! And thrown under the bus!
Cheeky monkeys.
Nice try, Troofie.
Dragon-King Wangchuck:
I’ve always said that ‘heathen’ needs to make its way back into common parlance. Someone just needs to bring it back and claim it. I mean, it just rolls off the tongue.
The dispirited. Boo hoo.
If we really want to get into this subject, here’s the thing. I would hazard a guess that pretty much no one here believes in Valhalla. Well, maybe actor212, since he’s Nordic and all… I would think that no one here would choose to define themselves by not believing in Valhalla. Why should I define myself by not believing in something I think is about as relevant as Valhalla?
This is why I don’t discuss this very often. I will always end up offending someone.
I’ve always said that ‘heathen’ needs to make its way back into common parlance.
It has, but for pagans.
Whatever happened to the term “secular humanist?”
Can’t one be a secular humanist and still believe in some sort of spiritual something or other? From what I understand, SH’s stance isn’t so much that God (or Bob) does or does not exist, it’s that he (or she) is more or less irrelevent to the problems facing humanity. Secular humanism is sort of like UU; some people want the whole church experience without actually having to worry about going to hell, and that’s cool.
Or how about old-school style:
Godless heathen.
Pronounced “heathren” if my relatives are anything to go by.
It has, but for pagans.
Well, shoot, that’s no fair.
“Pagan” is already a perfectly cromulant kind of word, why should they get to horde all the good phrases?
I guess “dirt-worshipping savages” is a bit negative, huh?
“Bright” was Dennett, not Dawkins. I believe Dawkins was in the anti-“Bright” camp.
> This is why I don’t discuss this very often. I will always end up offending someone.
I don’t mind offending fundie Xtians, since every minute they are breathing is a minute that their brain could be put to much better use – say, guiding an experimental meat-metal hybrid robot through a maze.
That said, if I am ever cornered by one of those nutjobs, I just say I worship the son of god – Apollo. If they press the issue, I say Apollo Creed.
I guess “dirt-worshipping savages” is a bit negative, huh?
Is that you, Al Swearengen?
But yeah, most of the good old-fashioned ones are taken. Heresy/heretic still sees some usage in churchy business, as a label of major deviations (not so much with the screaming from pulpits). Depending on who you ask, pagans are pagans and/or heathens, etc, etc.
Wow, step away for a few hours and this place becomes Pharyngula.
That’s just theology, though: culturally I’m a Catholic apostate and morally I consider myself a social humanist. As I’ve said before, it takes up a great deal more of my concern whether someone feels compelled to treat their fellow human beings decently than whether they think any specific entity exists above and beyond their own experience.
I’m right there with you philosophically, but given the virulence of the fundies in attacking women’s rights and the assault on science in the classroom, it seems to me that it is necessary for sane people to speak out and take a strong stand against dark ages superstitious nonsense. We don’t have a problem with that kind of thing in my area, but in some parts of the country kids aren’t likely to so much as brush by the concept of evolutionary biology in the classroom because the teachers are scared to death of the theocrats on the local school board. This ignorant shit shouldn’t be tolerated with any wishy-washy teach the controversy come-let-us-reason-together silliness.
That said, if I am ever cornered by one of those nutjobs, I just say I worship the son of god – Apollo. If they press the issue, I say Apollo Creed.
I am so gonna steal this.
It has, but for pagans.
Well, I appreciate that the term is actually defined as “non-christian” so lots of the Faithful are considered heathens. But that’s just the historical usage – English is a living language (although K-Lo may have dealt her some fatal damage). Personally, I like Godless Heathen – so that’s the label I’ll use to define the box I’m stuffed into. Hopefully I can bring Jessica Alba or the Honourable Sarah Ward with me.
Calvin Coolidge did the oath twice.
If they press the issue, I say Apollo Creed.
Well, that’s just common sense. Although there’s signs of the resurrection theme in that mythos too. Apollo Creed dies for our sins, Drago washes his hands of his responsibility, and… well, I guess he doesn’t come back so much.
Apollocreedology seems a bit flawed.
“secular humanist?”
‘Humanism’ implies that you care to some extent about human beings as the measure of all things and the source of morality [image of Vitruvian Man goes here].
I hope this is not an essential component of atheism.
Don’t you have to actually live on a heath to be a heathen?
Secular humanism is sort of like UU…
My Unitarian friend claimed UU was “for atheists with children.”
Don’t you have to actually live on a heath to be a heathen?
Well I do carry a bit of peat smoke via single-malt inside me everywhere I go.
D-KW:
Oh no, I mean pagans adopted “heathen” themselves. “Godless heathen” may be more accurate, yeah.
Wow, step away for a few hours and this place becomes Pharyngula.
Please, no! I guess I’m mostly OK with the posts there, but the smug smarter-than-thouness in the comments is off-putting. I get that feeling of “argh, why do you have to be on my side?” that I get from, e.g., PETA, if not as strongly.
That being said, I want to make clear that I very much dislike the idea of dismissing every religious person as an ignoramus. Obviously, there are all sorts of religious groups – liberal Catholics, Methodists, Unitarians, and others – who aren’t trying to force public schools to teach literal biblical interpretation, who understand science, and so forth. Also, many religious groups, like the Catholic Workers for example, do a lot of good works. I don’t meann to disparage that in any way. I do think it is important, however, for the un-churched and the reasonable religious to get together and take a strong stand on these issues.
Me? I don’t give a damn what kind of thing folks want to worship. I just want it kept out of my public institutions. In accordance with the constitution and all.
If they press the issue, I say Apollo Creed.
Helios Creed! Yay! An excuse to play my Chrome albums!
What?
That said, if I am ever cornered by one of those nutjobs, I just say I worship the son of god – Apollo. If they press the issue, I say Apollo Creed.
I’ve tried three different techniques that work – the first two are specifically for Jehovah’s Witnesses; the third is for the nutters from the other tribes.
For the JWs:
1) “You’d like to talk to me about Jesus? That’s great…I’d like to talk to you about Amway! Won’t you come in?”
2) When handed a copy of the latest issue of Watchtower: “Oh, thanks, I love these things! I have a copy of the little red book. I love the pictures!”
For the rest of them:
3) They ask all the blah blah about accepting Christ; I just look at them and say, with dramatic pauses, “Let’s just say that he and I have….a very personal and private relationship.” And I give them this look that I can’t describe or of course show you. Net result – they back away, literally.
“Bright” was Dennett, not Dawkins. I believe Dawkins was in the anti-”Bright” camp.
Well, Wikipedia tells us it was co-founded by Paul Geisert and Mynga Futrell, but Dawkins and Dennett were both early supporters. Also, a self-proclaimed “bright” according to the Wikipedia page: Amy Alkon. So, yeah, no thank you.
Also, for that matter, anytime I read anything by Daniel Dennett, my reation is always the same: “Eh.” But it’s entirely possible I’m simply missing something.
Candy, agreed! That’s the thing that really gets me upset, is that a large number of fundies seem to think that because our dollar bill has “In God We Trust” on it, then somehow, the schools have to teach kids that the Earth is only 6000 years old and that dinosaurs existed with man.
BTW, did all of you know that all dinosaurs were originally vegetarians? Yep. Before “The Fall”, when God got really pissed at Adam and Eve and tossed them out of the pool, everyone was a veggie. T Rex had those really big honking curved teeth to strip the bark off trees.
Yep, that’s a fact.
Creed sucks…
Xecklothxayyquou,
True about Pharyngula. I still read it but quit reading the comments. They can’t bring teh funny over thar.
I do think it is important, however, for the un-churched and the reasonable religious to get together and take a strong stand on these issues.
I agree. I see a lot of that kind of work close-up (at least on the reasonable religious side of things), but frankly a lot of it is internal and somewhat esoteric to those not already part of the converted. It’s hard to explain easily and its outside effects are not immediately evident, so, not a lot of big headlines there. Stuff like Westboro Baptist, farcical aberration that it is, is so much easier for people to grok.
I’d suggest checking out some of the stats here: http://pewforum.org/
Most believers in America are quite a bit more socially liberal than Dobson, Warren and the like would have you believe. It’s encouraging.
(Yes, I’ve linked that before, long ago — but I feel it’s important to reframe the conversation as often as possible, so Dobson et al don’t get control over the conversation.)
Shorter Coach: I can jam a traffic cone 3/4 way up my ass now! Check it out!
Candy, I’m pretty much with you on that. The issue with atheism is basically like the issue with vegetarianism turned up to 11 — there are intolerant or disrespectful people on both sides who ruin it for the rest of us. As a vegetarian, even in an extremely vegetarian-friendly city (PDX yo), I’ve had arguments start literally just for ordering a garden burger and answering the inevitable question in the affirmative. There are meat-eaters out there who see vegetarianism as a passive affront to their lifestyle; it’s even more common to run into “people of faith” who see atheism as an implicit challenge to their entire reality.
Of course, this is fueled as well by atheists and vegetarians who make a habit of scolding or insulting theists or meat-eaters. But I think there’s a lot more asshole vegans or whatever than asshole atheists, and I think the mere action of believing there’s actually a rational basis for your decision shouldn’t be seen as an attack.
All I want is to keep our science and our public ethics rooted in secularism, for atheism to be viewed as a morally equivalent position to religion, and to not be automatically viewed as some crusader against someone’s deeply-held beliefs just because I don’t believe what they do. Just because Richard Dawkins says mean things about religion doesn’t mean that I have any responsibility for it.
Anyway, /threadjack plz
T Rex had those really big honking curved teeth to strip the bark off trees.
Yep, that’s a fact.
I’ll bet that’s from Teh Creation Museum. Sounds like one of their exhibits.
Just because Richard Dawkins says mean things about religion doesn’t mean that I have any responsibility for it.
I think the most revelatory conclusion I ever came to was that no race, religion, creed or doctrine has a monopoly on being an asshole. The potential is within everyone — which is strangely encouraging, as that is further evidence of a baseline humanity to all people regardless of where they’re coming from.
…it’s even more common to run into “people of faith” who see atheism as an implicit challenge to their entire reality.
It IS an implicit challenge to their entire reality. Thus the animosity. At least, that’s my opinion.
Christopher Hitchens gives atheism a bad name….
Candy: I like “non-superstitious” or “un-superstitious”, whichever is grammatically legal.
If superstition is anathema, maybe we should affirm our belief in substition or, if that’s too extreme in the opposite direction, orthostition.
It IS an implicit challenge to their entire reality. Thus the animosity. At least, that’s my opinion.
The same works in reverse, though. It seems to make more sense to conclude no one’s got all the answers, so everyone should chill the fuck out.
if you’d told me a few years ago that I could get literally choked up and tear-eyed at any sort of freakin’ political speech or event, I’d have told you to shut up and pass me the bong…
Regardless, could you pass it over this way now? KTHKSBI!
But Ken, don’t you think that is actually part of the problem? Most religions DO believe that they, and they alone, are keepers of “The Truth”. If that is the basis of your belief system, then there is very little room left for anyone else.
Christopher Hitchens gives atheism a bad name….
Christopher Hitchens gives slovenly, drunken, obnoxious, sexist, pasty-white past-his-prime British assholes unduly in love with their own prose a bad name, let’s be honest. In a just world, Christopher Hitchens would spent most of his time getting kicked out of trailer parks.
Christopher Hitchens gives atheism a bad name….
Christopher Hitchens gives alcoholism a bad name…
Christopher Hitchens gives slovenly, drunken, obnoxious, sexist, pasty-white past-his-prime
Britishassholesunduly in love with their own prosea bad nameI would be far more popular if it were not for Chris Hitchens.
But Ken, don’t you think that is actually part of the problem? Most religions DO believe that they, and they alone, are keepers of “The Truth”. If that is the basis of your belief system, then there is very little room left for anyone else.
Yeah, but they have books and songs and make people feel good about their brief, empty little lives spent swirling aimlessly and pointlessly in the howling chaos, see. Means they count more when it’s all figured out.
If atheists all got a book to follow and atheist songs to sing and places to meet weekly, then they’d be taken seriously. Otherwise, it’s like a country without a flag, how do we know which sider you’re on?
No flag, no serious consideration! That’s the rules I’ve just made up!
Of course, this is fueled as well by atheists and vegetarians who make a habit of scolding or insulting theists or meat-eaters.
Ahem, flesh-eaters.
At least that was the term in vogue when I last hung around any militant veg*ns. It must sound more barbaric, or something.
But Ken, don’t you think that is actually part of the problem? Most religions DO believe that they, and they alone, are keepers of “The Truth”. If that is the basis of your belief system, then there is very little room left for anyone else.
Oh, it IS part of the problem — though not one unique to religion. All this East vs. West bullshit the anti-Islamic bigots at places like jihadwatch drum up is a secular version of the same thing. It’s common human behavior, but with monotheism you have the unfortunate “appeal to authority/daddy figure” aspect that makes the arrogance harder to dislodge. It’s like having your own personal confirmation bias tucked away in your pocket.
I’m just suggesting what I think makes more sense than adherence to strict dogma. A good religious person (or a good person period) figures that while they may have some idea, but by no means the whole picture.. or that such a thing is even possible.
UPC codes on our foreheads.
If atheists all got a book to follow and atheist songs to sing and places to meet weekly, then they’d be taken seriously. Otherwise, it’s like a country without a flag, how do we know which sider you’re on?
Well, in a sense… yeah. Building up a power bloc capable of mobilization (be it financial or boots-on-the-ground) is a pretty good way to get noticed/taken seriously. That’s just common (if somewhat amoral) sense.
Also, I’d point out that a lot of religions can acknowledge other religions as having a point. Islam certainly regards Judaism and Christianity (and I think Zoroastrians, though I might be wrong) as having a point. Christians (as patronizing as they are) see us kindly Jews as their ancestors. Depending on the Jew, you can find plenty that will acknowledge other religious leaders as prophets. You can’t seem to throw a brick in Asia without hitting someone believing six different philosophies of reality at the same time.
Just because there’s some fundy twats that can’t continue their cults without absolute control over the lives of their followers doesn’t mean religion can’t be flexible.
Postmodernism, baby!
Again, check out that survey. Hard doctrine doesn’t allow for deviation, but religion in practice is quite a bit different from religion the institution.
Wow, step away for a few hours and this place becomes Pharyngula.
No tentacled overlord here…
I used to be a “Shane MacGowan Catholic”, but when Ratzi became Pope, I just couldn’t stick around. I now call myself an “apatheist”.
“Secular Humanoid” would be a good alternative.
The last time the Jehovah’s Witlesses came to my door, it was two middle-aged women. I told them, “The agency usually sends the same strippers, but you’ll do.”
I have heard, though, that the way to really freak them out is to tell them that you’re an apostate. Apparently, that genuinely hits them in the gut.
The one Jehovah’s Witness I met seemed like a nice middle-aged black lady. I told her I was Jewish, and she said she was sorry to have bothered me.
I guess our house got taken off the list after that, cause I haven’t seen another one yet.
I now call myself an “apatheist”.
That word is so awesome I wish I could apply it to my own worldview. I think my brand of agnosticism is too energetic for it to fit.
It also helps to be holding a hammer and nails.
If atheists all got a book to follow and atheist songs to sing and places to meet weekly, then they’d be taken seriously. Otherwise, it’s like a country without a flag, how do we know which side you’re on?
Or more to the point, how do we know which god you don’t believe in? Huh? answer me that, smart guy.
I have never had anyone come to my house and try to proselytize me.
I prefer to not believe in the kindly NT god of love, rather than the vengeful OT god.
/Catch-22
That word is so awesome I wish I could apply it to my own worldview. I think my brand of agnosticism is too energetic for it to fit.
For me, the “apatheist” stance is that belief in a god is a useless filter through which to view the universe. The psychological and semantic gymnastics that theologians and apologists use to justify faith are a waste of cognition, which would be better spent contemplating real-world issues. At best, religion is a complicating and limiting factor, at worst, an invitation to tyranny and bigotry of the most heinous sort.
I would never consider myself an apathetic person, as far as my interactions with teh reel wurld are concerned, but the whole god issue gets a big “meh” from me.
You poor dear. Try smiling more.
Oo, could I be an agnapatheist…? “Don’t know, don’t care.”
I have never had anyone come to my house and try to proselytize me.
Whoa, now just hold on here… you mean to say that Spiderman has never come to your house and attempted to make you gay?
Am I aware of all internet traditions, or what?
Tigrismus, you could be an agapanthist.
BTW, this is impressive: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2009/44.president/inauguration/mall.satellite/
The crowds watching Obama get inaugurated were visible from space. I wonder if the Fox News demographic analysts sharted a little bit when they saw this one … the weight of history and numbers is not on their side.
Oh yeah – and the discourse over at Ace of Spades comment section is simultaneously gut-wrenchingly petty, angry & racist – and somewhat delicious, as it reveals how caught up in self-hatred and pointless screeching the dickheaded wingnuts are today.
May there be many, many more days like this one.
Oh yeah – and the discourse over at Ace of Spades comment section
I hope someone is keeping track of the number of times someone in the right bloggosphere uses the phrase “Commander-in-Chief” to describe your new president.
Looks delish, but not good in my zone, alas. How about an agapantherist? It is all about the kitties.
Re: “Forty-four Americans have taken the Oath…”
Subheading: Grover Cleveland counts twice so it’s only 43!!!
Counter-Evidence: If you’re going to be picky about this thing, then President Pro Tempore of the Senate David Rice Atchison, who was “President for a Day” in 1849 because Zachary Taylor refused to take an oath on a Sunday, also counts.
(I knew that piece of trivia would come in handy one day.)
At best, religion is a complicating and limiting factor, at worst, an invitation to tyranny and bigotry of the most heinous sort.
I can dig it. I agree with you and have been pained to see the God-accomodating gymnastics in writings from surprisingly long ago, e.g. Descartes.
Paradise Lost had those ridiculous gyrations, and no matter how cool Hell and Satan were – really really cool IMO – it was really hard not to read it with contempt or pity.
Religion’s much more fun when people don’t try to explain it.
Saffi- Atchison may have claimed to be president for a day but, as Wikipedia points out in the article on presidential succession, the claim makes no sense. Taylor refused to take the oath on Sunday, but since Atchison also didn’t take the oath on Sunday, this is no reason to claim that Atchison was president before Taylor was.
How about an agapantherist? It is all about the kitties.
Ah, but then you re-enter the realms of Christian allegory.
The panther represents Christ, who drew all mankind to him.
He is not a tame panther.
/C.S. Lewis ad nauseam
The panther represents Christ, who drew all mankind to him.
Jesus was a Cougar?!! This religion stuff begins to interest me. Teach me how to prey, O Lord.
The sweet breath of the panther
Smells like ungulate.
Sammy Korir is happy for you
Only so far and no further. Ever read Podkayne of Mars? She was a fighter pilot, but her “real” ambition was to be a stay-home mother of a litter of I forget how many. And if that wasn’t sickening enough, she also ends up either comatose or dead in the end, depending on which version you bought–no doubt as punishment for daring to punch above her puny, girly weight.
And she’s not the only female Heiny used as a mouthpiece for his sexism, either. Funny how often every outwardly strong, independent female character in Heinlein turned out to be a closet traditionalist Mrs. Cleaver when you got right down to it. Maybe one needs to be female to pick up on that logical fallacy, though.
Sadly, no. Actually, it was Roberts, but that’s okay–he’s not really the SCOTUS chief.
I would hazard a guess that pretty much no one here believes in Valhalla. Well, maybe actor212, since he’s Nordic and all
Careful!
I don’t mind you knocking my Jesus, but when you start picking on my Thor, I take umbrage!
Ohman. I’m going to pay for that one, aren’t I?
I have never had anyone come to my house and try to proselytize me.
I did, and the hangover lasted three weeks, until I had a shot of penicillin.
I’m pleased that there has been one FSM allusion, but no Frisbeetarians???
I would think that no one here would choose to define themselves by not believing in Valhalla.
You do have that religious minority in Iceland whose ancestors never went along with the vote in 1000 to accept this new-fangled ‘Christ’ religion that was becoming best international practice,* and who still worship the old gods. But I’m not sure if any of them literally believe in Valhalla. I would be surprised if Icelandic school textbooks required teachers to Teach the Controversy about thunder.**
Actor212 has described himself as a Finn, however, and AFAIK they just went in for weird shamanic shite, without even inventing a decent pantheon.
————————————
* Yes, they settled the state religion by voting. There was a Don’t-ask-Don’t-Tell clause allowing people to opt out and stick to the old gods as long as they didn’t outrage public decency by doing it in the open.
** Superheated air caused by a discharge of static electricity, or Thor’s mighty hammer? We cite authorities from both sides.
For the first time in eight years, we have a president who speaks like a grownup addressing other grownups.
No matter what Bush was talking about, or who he was talking to, he always came off as the frat president dressing down a bunch of pledges who dared to defy one of his arbitrary commands.
Actor212 has described himself as a Finn, however, and AFAIK they just went in for weird shamanic shite, without even inventing a decent pantheon
Wow, you missed our God, Vodka.
This diverse religion talk is banned now under Overlord Hussein X.
Allahu akbar bitchez.
This diverse religion talk is banned now under Overlord Hussein X.
Smoke Em If You Like Em, Rusty.
I mean, Sala’am Aleichem, Sahib.
Pfft. Finns aren’t Nordic.
Pfft. Finns aren’t Nordic.
Hey, I look Nordic! And shut up! 😛
I think in the origin story, Finns originally were the captives of Ewoks. Haven’t you heard of the release of the Endor Finns? It was euphoric!
It was euphoric!
Dude, although that pun wasn’t actually SWEET – it was kinda Swedish.
Pfft. Finns aren’t Nordic.
Hey, I look Nordic! And shut up! 😛
Finno-Ugric, baby!
they just went in for weird shamanic shite, without even inventing a decent pantheon
Finns did have an interesting pantheon, with Ukko (old man) and Akka (old woman) being the principle deities. Ahto was the spirit of the waters, Tapiau the forest king. They also had some lesser deities, such as the forest spirit Mielikki (beloved), death’s dumpy daughter Loviatar (mother of the nine diease spirits), “pain girl” Kiputytto (the personification of the healing power of the body), and some others. The gods clearly play second fiddle to the heroes Vanamoinen, Lemminkainen, and Ilmarinen, but they are there in the Kalevala.
For a modern take, try Hedningarna’s Pornopolka
Dumpy? How then do you explain this failing vision?
Dumpy? How then do you explain this failing vision?
Bubba, baby, you’ve been taken in by David S. Laforce, and his image of the feather-haired, casually semi-nude Otherworldly-Studio-54 babe. If you go to the source, Loviatar (probably a cognate of Louhi, the old crone of Pojola, or North Farm), is a blind, dumpy goddess, not even the “Maiden of Pain”, who is really Kiputytto. Another blow, the “Maiden of Pain” is not the Divine Dominatrix of Doom, but is the personification of the body’s ability to heal… strictly Lawful Good material.
Sorry, but the curly headed young geek I was would have been just as shocked to hear this as you, while the shave-pated not-so-young geek I am actually read a translation of the original source material.
Please forgive me.
Finno-Ugric, baby!
I deny the charge and besides, she told me she was eighteen.
Finns did have an interesting pantheon, with Ukko (old man) and Akka (old woman) being the principle deities. Ahto was the spirit of the waters, Tapiau the forest king. They also had some lesser deities, such as the forest spirit Mielikki (beloved), death’s dumpy daughter Loviatar (mother of the nine diease spirits), “pain girl” Kiputytto (the personification of the healing power of the body), and some others. The gods clearly play second fiddle to the heroes Vanamoinen, Lemminkainen, and Ilmarinen, but they are there in the Kalevala.
Or you can watch the MST3K version.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sampo_(film)
As a Knight of Kaleva, I’m impressed with your knowledge, sir.
Haven’t you heard of the release of the Endor Finns? It was euphoric!
If euphoric, Iaginic.
Finns did have an interesting pantheon
Which is more important here? Accurate comparative mythology, or insulting up Actor212?
but they are there in the Kalevala.
I have the Kirby translation myself, but I’m open to new versions.
Hey, actor212, doesn’t Obama’s plan to save the economy involve forging a Sampo? Could that be construed as a racist remark?
Yeah, Finnophilia, it’s not that common here in the states, but it helps when one meets a Helsinki honey. Plus, some geeky friends of mine used to get together and listen to Hedningarna’s Tra while drinking copious amounts of scotch and playing Halo on Tuesday nights.
Do you speak the language, bro? I would love to know what “Raastan rauhan rinnastansa” means.
FWIW, Gavin M. of the Sadlynaughts has also admitted that he’s descended from the swarthy Finno-Ugric hordes.
Sadly, no, but I can fake translations a little.
OK, Raastan would be either tear (as in tear up) or grasp or pull, depending on context.
Rauhan, I think, is judge (at least that’s what I got raastaned before in Helsinki). It could mean peace, if Google translate is accurate.
Rinnastansa is a tricky one. Rinnast is compare. Rinnastansa looks like one of those bizarre gender/tense cases that Finnish is famous for.
Idiomatically? Anybody’s guess. If you had asked about “painu helvettiin” or other phrases my dad said to me constantly, I’d have no problem 😉
Which is more important here? Accurate comparative mythology, or insulting up Actor212?
Most important of all is dashing Righteous Bubba’s preadolescent fantasies. Getting a bunch of people to buy Hedningarna’s Tra comes second. Insulting actor212 is merely a fringe benefit.
Smut,
You’d be surprised how many people are of Finnish descent.
Gus Hall, the founder of the American Communist Party, was a Finn.
Pamela Anderson is partly Finn. So is Matt Damon.
My personal favorite is Trixie from the Honeymooners, who is also a personal friend.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Finnish_Americans
Oh, and Troofie? In case you’re lurking wondering where I am on the IMDB…I might be on this list. I might even be Matt Damon.
And then again, I might not. 😉
AHA! You assume, in your ignorance, THAT THOSE ARE PREADOLESCENT FANTASIES!
Google Translate now does Finnish, probably with the minimal accuracy I have come to love. IMO the most convenient way of using that is via FoxLingo in Firefox after a little fiddling to get rid of the dumb browser bar.
Nice shout-out to Gus Hall! His name actually came up in conversation last night as I was dining with two other residents of his adopted hometown of Yonkers, NY… once immortalized in Hello Dolly, now rendered undead in World War Z.
now rendered undead in World War Z
Best. Zombie. Book. Ever.
I think Brad Pitt optioned it.
I think Brad Pitt optioned it.
Maybe you can get a role in it as a zombie Gus Hall.
You assume, in your ignorance, THAT THOSE ARE PREADOLESCENT FANTASIES!
RB, I apologize for assuming, but the important thing is that your fantasies are dashed. In other words, the picture in the internet profile turned out not to be her.
You can try to distract from minutiae by referring to the meat of the argument but YOU WILL FAIL.
The common element among the Finns I know is that they all drink a lot of coffee. Last thing at night. So they can sleep properly.
When they received their briefing on how to blend in among the human race, a couple of crucial details were garbled.
RB, don’t make me challenge you to a dance-off ala Breakin 2:Electric Boogaloo.
WOW! I just came to the conclusion that B2:EB might have been Michelle Malkin’s introduction to Black Culture.
Now, the ugly truth comes out… I, a Celtitalohelvetifranco-American male, almost joined the Finnish American Women’s League. It was a boozy night at the Scandinavian House in Manhattan, and the president of the organization lived in the same Bronx neighborhood my father grew up in. I still regret not having joined the league.
You can try to distract from minutiae by referring to the meat of the argument but YOU WILL FAIL.
This is an interesting variation of “Stop trying to confuse the issue with facts”.
The common element among the Finns I know is that they all drink a lot of coffee. Last thing at night. So they can sleep properly.
When they received their briefing on how to blend in among the human race, a couple of crucial details were garbled.
True story: When I was a kid, maybe fourteen, my parents left me alone for the night for the first time (my sister had moved out to go to college).
So I wanted to stay up for Johnny Carson, and brewed a pot of strong coffee, which I proceeded to drink black.
I was asleep by 11:45.
I think it’s congenital, if not genetic.
WOW! I just came to the conclusion that B2:EB might have been Michelle Malkin’s introduction to Black Culture.
Bonus! Jean Claude Van Damme’s film debut is in that movie, so she learned Belgian culture at the same time!
I was proud of it. I’ll use it again, that’s for sure. You’ll also notice it worked, as the next counter-argument involved a break-dancing movie.
Chewbacca Defense 2: Electric Boogaloo!
Chewbacca Defense 2:
For stopping the common cold in its tracks. Now Sugarless!
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