Scandal in the Blogress-O-Sphere
What better way to start off the New Year than to wander over to the House of Gay Shame and see what’s up. If we’re lucky, we might find Bruce and Dan explaining why the criminalization of sodomy wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Or maybe they are planning a gay field trip to a Mormon temple service to show the Mormons that some gays are actually thankful that the Mormons have worked so hard against gay marriage, caffeinated beverages and champagne brunches.
Yoohoo! Anybody home? It’s pretty deserted at over at Gay Patriot Head(not-that-kind)quarters. Looks like they had some kind of awards ceremony. They left some godawful banner still hanging over the podium. (Who does their graphics work? Ace o’Spades?). Apparently they named Pamela “Tits You Can Believe In” Geller as the Très Très Mucho Molto Grande Fabuloso Divinely Fierce Conservative Blogress Diva MMIX.
Let’s leave a nice little note in their guest book:
I had scarcely left that little note when Dan came into the room screaming “You bitch, give me that book!!” Then he grabbed the book, ripped out the page with my comment, tore it into tiny pieces and swallowed the pieces one by one, and then threw the book on the floor. What a drama queen.
So I picked it up from the floor and wrote this
Which, of course, provoked an even more violent reaction from Dan. You’d think he’d get tired of eating so much paper. . . .
Meanwhile, over at the House of No Shame, Pamela, knowing the election was rigged, stopped spewing genocidal fantasies about Arabs just long enough to grab the award and pretend like she earned it.
But the real victim here is Kathy Shaidle. Why, we have to wonder, would she be disqualified by too many leftie votes but Pamela wasn’t? Maybe we should keep asking Dan that. After all, he can only eat so much paper.
UPDATE: Blogress banner fixed. H/T Righteous Bubba.
I demand a recount. Especially since I voted for Pammy Cakes no fewer than 20 times.
Hey, wow, Dan.
Nice Tiarra…
mikey
Is the eagle landing on the keyboard, or typing with its talons? Because if it’s the latter, that is one damn talented eagle. I bet that I could train one to go out to the mailbox at Stately Wayne Manor to fetch the mail, which would be nice, because, face it, Alfred isn’t getting any younger.
Oh, and it looks like they’re calling Bruce (heh!) the “Conservative Blogress Diva Regent” or some shit, and going on about Agnes Moorehead (hurr hurr) because there aren’t enough swishy gay stereotypes on display already. Gotta meet that quota, you know, or the fundies might get the vapors.
Ahem, Total Dick-Head. I also voted for the shrieking harpy at least 20 times.
But I also voted for Kathy Shaidle at least 20 times. Those 20 votes are crying out in agony. When will they have justice?
WHEN?
In case not everyone gets the eagle reference in the first para above, here ya go.
When asked to comment, Ann Coulter remarked, “Mmphh mmm mmfff. Mmph *fgtz* mff!”
In other news, it was reported Friday that “GayPatriotWest” is an anagram of “A twat’s toy Repig.”
I voted for the Harpy at least 8 times, but now you overachievers are making me feel bad.
Where are the Blogress photoshops?
I believe that the internet tradition in such cases of scandal is to say “Oh Noes” Just sayin”.
Tiarra or Dunkin Donuts keffiyeh ???
Look out Pammie he wants to “hang your back door”
I have lost my faith in anonymous internet polls! Who could have imagined that they would be THIS susceptible to bad-faith rat-fuckery?!
Why hasn’t anyone hijacked that logo and replaced the eagle with a harpy yet?
It’s kinda funny to imagine the aftermath of this “beauty” pagent gone bad: Pammy Cakes chasing Five Feet of Ugly around with a fire axe, her mascara stained by Bitter Tears of Sorrow, screeching like a banshee: “I won that tiara fair and square, you hideous DWARF!!!!!!!!!” Five Feet of Fug, of course, waddling away as fast as her pudgy legs will carry her. It reminds of that classic Star Trek – the Next Generation episode in which Deanna Troi burys an axe in Captain Picard’s head because he didn’t get the cha cha heels she wanted for Christmas.
As for “Gay Patriot”: As a gay male myself, all I can say is I hope the stupid, worthless son of a bitch has an encounter with some his more energetic allies from the GOP some day, i.e. the sort of ‘people’ who won’t be shy in sharing their opinions on gay folk with him. He deserves a special recognition at the annual “Jews For Hitler Self-Loathing” Awards, otherwise know as “the Loathies”.
Who could have imagined that they would be THIS susceptible to bad-faith rat-fuckery?!
Evidently, not the clueless twits who ran this one. How many “real” votes do you suppose they got?? A couple dozen?
“It reminds of that classic Star Trek – the Next Generation episode in which Deanna Troi burys an axe in Captain Picard’s head because he didn’t get the cha cha heels she wanted for Christmas.”
I missed that one. Sounds like a scream.
Thanks to rounding, Gay Patriot has given us a list of five losers with zero percent of the vote. 0gresses?
How did they “keep the contest honest”? A stern look? A wagging finger? Did they demand a pinky swear from the contest?
A stern look, Mr. Bass.
Ruh roh. He’s “rooting for Penn State?” (btw, for those who don’t follow such things, Penn State managed to get their asses kicked in spectacular fashion yesterday). Don’t tell me I have some connection to that POS.
A brief google later, WTF? His name is Bruce D(an). Blatt? Izzatright? Oh fer fucksake, Bruce, get some balls and use your real name, bitch. I didn’t realize that for him, self-loathing was not merely a symptom but a forte.
Thanks to rounding, Gay Patriot has given us a list of five losers with zero percent of the vote. 0gresses?
Dare I say Nilgresses?
In other news, it was reported Friday that “GayPatriotWest” is an anagram of “A twat’s toy Repig.”
Nice, but I think it works better as “A Repig’s twat toy.”
How did they “keep the contest honest”?
In their inimitable repig way: by saying they did.
Why was the Japanese “Rising Sun” flag incorporated awards design? I confuzeds.
“in the award’s design.” I still confuzed.
That is a breath-freshening peppermint.
I have a very silly grin on my face.
Imagine my surprise, Pammycakes.
In honor of Claire Boothe Luce, an outspoken and witty conservative women, we are dubbing this trophy, the Boothie.
heh.
In honor of Claire Boothe Luce, an outspoken and witty conservative women, we are dubbing this trophy, the Boothie.
Luce women could use more honor.
Clairely.
Blogress? Is that that music with mandolins and dropped Ds?
Self-loathing, sucking up, and scrubbing comments.
The wingnut tiara trick.
They have an award named for John Wilkes Booth? That doesn’t sound very patriotic. No, not very patriotic at all…
A stern look, Mr. Bass.
If ever a picture cried out for a sammich…
To sum up:
A site run by gays to promote the interests of a political party that openly hates gays, runs a contest. The effect–and perhaps purpose–of the contest is to “crown” a “queen” in a way that can only reinforce the most shopworn stereotype of homosexual men, i.e., their “worship” of assertive, “outrageous” women.
The contest is corrupted by the deliberate pranks of a rival site, which then informs the contest site openly and accurately about what it has done.
Nonetheless, the contest is declared over, a success, and a true expression of “the voters'” preferences. The winner–who should and can know full well of the contest’s manipulation–is still honored, delighted, and “has a silly grin” on her face.
The site is run by people assisting others dedicated to their destruction. The contest is entirely invalid. The winner thinks that she won, and thanks everyone.
Is that about it?
We say, over and over, “these people live in an imaginary world.” But they really do, don’t they? While constantly claiming that *they’re* the realists.
(shakes head silently, wanders off…)
I think I should sue “neoneocon” for a trademark infringement. And I’m still bitter that five feet of stupid Shaidle dropped out of the primaries. Does that make me a PUMA?
Help, the text is shrinking! Dang nematodes.
Blogress! It’s like, uh, compute-harpy or something.
Computroll?
Is that about it?
Well, when you put it like that, it does seem kind of silly.
And for some reason the name “John Frum” keeps popping into my head.
A “Boothie”, that’s when you’re sitting in a booth at the diner and you let one rip on the vinyl seat, right?
No, a “Boothie” is when you murder a great man, break your leg in a stupid theatrical gesture, and wind up gunned down after a wild manhunt.
Not that Ms. Geller does not have dreams…
If “Boothie” is not yet the popular name for a variety of date-rape drug, then it needs to be.
What’s up with the logo with the red Palin-style fuck-me pump? That’s gotta set a new bar in ugliness.
He can’t. No poofters, Bruce.
He has Paul Newman’s eyes…
UPDATE: Blogress banner fixed. H/T Righteous Bubba.
Needs more eagle.
No, a Boothie is when you are sitting in a booth at a bar or restaurant and your date scoots over next to you and … hmm, well, uhhh … it’s the kind of thing … ask your parents.
Heh. Truly fit to pull catapults to places where smarter creatures can operate them.
Nerds!
I still say “the Loathies” is the proper award for self-loathing pieces of human filth like our ‘friend’ Dan…or Bruce, or whatever his fucking name is.
“Computroll?”
Compuperve. The perfect word for someone who loves a party that hates him, and hates a city that loves him.
is it only me or does it seem like a bad movie with bette davis and joan crawford directed by a self loathing gay man?
No, a Boothie is when you are sitting in a booth at a bar or restaurant and your date scoots over next to you and …
I think you’ll have better luck peddling rapidly-dissolving hypnotics over at Gay Patriot’s.
I’m just proud to have been a part of this wonderful team effort…and I thank my savior, whose noodly appendage has shown me The Way.
Anyone catch this link from one of the SEVEN (Har har!!) commenters at the Ogress contest?
Looks like a fun way to explain/rationalize bad talk about “others.”
The comments over at Jugg’s site are truely eye-rolling.
All the wingnuts/muttjobs/whackjobs for the next 8 years will be receiving their mail at their collective new address:
1 Alternative Reality Street
BizarroTown
Antimatter, ZZ 66666
So is Pamela going to have to produce a birth certificate to claim her prizes?
I tried to culture yoghurt once, but failed. Now I buy it in the store. Greek yoghurt. The Greeks really know how to culture yoghurt.
> TELL PEOPLE YOU ARE A CULTURIST!!
You can lead a whore to culture, but …..
Sorry, I missed out on the punning a few threads ago and thought I’d sneak in a little stinker here.
No way owlbear, she needs to produce a vault copy.
I always though it was “You can lead a horticultist….”
> I always though it was “You can lead a horticultist….”
The punchline to my version is “No soap, shortwave radio”
Checking back at GayPatriotWest, it looks like they’ve taken your advice and given a dual award to Atlas & Kathy. Let the eye scratching begin.
Thanks to the GPWs for all their election rigging goodness. Kudos!
I wanted to be a Culturist but I went to that site and now I’m blind. I blame teh Sadlies, I cudda been the Cultureist!!
What is it with wingnuts? Is it really that hard to pick two colors that don’t cause permanent retina damage? Perhaps they do not see as we see. Maybe they just use sonar or something.
We say, over and over, “these people live in an imaginary world.” But they really do, don’t they? While constantly claiming that *they’re* the realists.
This contest is an important microcosm, because as hilarious as it is, it also reminds us that these people live in a fantasy world where the Iraq War has made America safer, abstinence-only education works, and America has the best healthcare system in the world. It is a sobering reminder.
I wouldn’t be too sure. He certainly has a bottomless capacity for shit. “Mmm, yesss GOP, crap right in mi face, nom, nom, nom!”
The fact is, you liberals hate that reality once again trumps your faggoty fantasys of gay buttsex and homodom.
Oh Ruprecht, that is so lame.
No, a “Boothie” is when you murder a great man, break your leg in a stupid theatrical gesture, and wind up gunned down after a wild manhunt.
At least they didn’t call it a ‘Leeharveyoswaldie’.
A “Boothie”, that’s when you’re sitting in a booth at the diner and you let one rip on the vinyl seat, right?
That one gets my vote. The sound amplification qualities of vinyl are remarkable.
No, a “Boothie” is when you murder a great man, break your leg in a stupid theatrical gesture, and wind up gunned down after a wild manhunt.
And should anyone assist you, their name will be Mudd.
<blockquote Is it really that hard to pick two colors that don’t cause permanent retina damage? Perhaps they do not see as we see. Maybe they just use sonar or something.
Uh, noen, I think they live in a NEON world. Or, they do use sonar, like the vampire bats they are
Not to mention the swell layout & design.
On the other hand, unlike some, the Culturists (Or is it just one guy?) can’t screw up a Bugger™ template too much.
Ooops. For want of a bracket, etc.
In best wingnut whine (fully knowing it’s not true): “Why doesn’t preview work? Sob.”
Those fat welfare payments destroy all incentive.
OK, I’ll leave this guy alone, after this, but I b’leeve we’re looking at quite a load/lode of sumpin’ here.
The Statue of Responsibility.
It’s to “offset” the Statue of Liberty.
Other possibilities in statuedom: “valor, courage, responsibility, morality etc.” Yes, he said exactly that.
That’s wonderfully entertaining. I suggest this.
Yes, G. W. is certainly making “a good choice” there.
Sadly, I have been blocked from GayPat’s comment threads. Too many comments about how his grip on his handguns is almost as tight as the clinch of his buttocks. His bots kill me on sight…
It’s like being remorselessly gummed by a toothless kitten.
That’s wonderfully entertaining. I suggest this.
Bear on a Bike is the Statue of Responsibility!
Why does the Culturism guy have an Indian village on the cover of his book? Is this some kind of scheme to return Connecticut to the Pequots?
This is the Statue of Responsibility!
You fucking frauds are so unbelievably stupid.
They have an award named for John Wilkes Booth? That doesn’t sound very patriotic. No, not very patriotic at all…
It doesn’t? How do you figure?
Welcome Nogress!
The Statue of Responsibility.
The Statue of Responsibility should be of a dude sitting on his ass in front of a computer and blegging for images for a Statue of Responsibility.
Perhaps a cat doing its business in the business box? That’s the height of responsibility.
And good hygiene. Another subject for a giant monument.
Depicting a right choice being made would be a good idea.
Why, yes! That’d be a great idea! In that spirit, this should be the Statue of Responsibility.
Dear SadlyNauts,
You’re my favourite. Happy New Year.
…I’d vote for “the Statue of Limitations”
The Statue of Responsibility.
Kathy, Kathy, please.
FUCKING frauds?
Uh uh, darlin, when we fuck, we DELIVER!
Check with that tall fellow, Amy.
We’re “Tiny Turds”.
Try to follow along now, won’tcha?
mikey
Another entry.
The statue of Responsibility should be a giant sculpture of a dong with a condom on it.
In honor of Claire Boothe Luce, an outspoken and witty conservative women, we are dubbing this trophy, the Boothie.
Because Schlafly told him, “Not on your life, gayboy!”
a giant sculpture of a dong with a condom on it
Claes Oldenburg is your man.
Whatever the design turns out to be, the Statue of Responsibility should be 9000 feet high and made out of pure gold.
His dong would not stand tall and proud, as America’s dong must.
Some fundies aren’t going to be pleased with the condom concept.
(Baby farmer Michelle Bachman, for instance.)
His dong would not stand tall and proud, as America’s dong must.
I envisage it as inflatable, like Lipstick
or Pamela Geller.OK, I’ll leave this guy alone, after this, but I b’leeve we’re looking at quite a load/lode of sumpin’ here.
Shit, this guy is great. He wants someone to donate some land for the Statue of Responsibility. Plus, he suggests other statues, such as Valor, Courage, and Morality.
His history lectures notes are platinum. From the very end of his Civil War notes:
I would call my essay “Apology to Blacks: The Write Thing to Do?”
In his lecture on “How we define ourselves internationally and personally depends on your view of the future of civilizations,” 500 years zip by in a flash.
On to Why we might not win:
Last quote: “Can you name one country in which two languages and two cultural groups live side by side peacefully?”
I think we are all missing something here. Think of the NUMBERS.
Do the MATH.
How many of those votes came from this crew? (I’m trying to think of a succinct adjective for “this crew”, but I’ve been vacuuming all day and cooking and drinking red wine since I quit vacuuming, and my thesauraus is not what it oughtasarus…. )
Anyway, is there any way to calculate the number of “votes” that actually came from people who READ THIS SHIT?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Ahh, by THIS SHIT of course I mean THAT SHIT.
Hope you can follow along. And please, feel free to ignore me as usual.. I’m used to it. I know that I can never ever aspire to the heights of the sadly naughts. Sigh.
(retreats to kitchen to clean the mountain of pots and pans rising in teh sink)
Or the already extant (probably landfill somewhere, really) giant icebag on said organ.
(Sadly, the photo of me standing in front of said big bag in front of LACMA in 1970 is not currently available on line.)
ittdgy&c., thanks for clarifying. At first glance, I always think that’s Katherine Harris.
Some fundies aren’t going to be pleased with the condom concept.
WHERE IS THE SAMMICH?!
Annals of Conflation:
We’re in deep doo-doo when those two get together. I long for the good old days when just Arabs & “islam” were all I needed to make me piss my pants.
I would like a statue of “Fcuk off and Leave Me Alone” I’m thinking a 400 foot (jebus feet, inches heh heh) high brown paper bag with eyeholes cut in the top and maybe cartoon eyes looking out. Yes they could light up at night.
We’re in deep doo-doo when those two get together.
Thank goodness it’s impossible for two languages and two cultural groups to live side by side peacefully, otherwise our geese would be cooked!
The Culturist’s YouTube videos.
Ok, I have an important question.
In the commercials for the Tom Cruise “Scientology vs. Nazis” movie, they show this one brief clip over and over where somebody pinches some weird-lookin thingie with a pair of pliers. Yay.
Memo to Marketing:
When you make your commercials to try and get people to see your movie, maybe you shouldn’t use such context-laden scenes such that they are meaningless or even worse, confusing.
Does anybody know what the dude is pinching?
mikey
Hmmm. Short, to the point and without grammatical errors.
I CALL FAKE SHAIDLE.
Now that’s how you write history! Just make a vague generalization and explain it by saying that it happened ‘for various reasons’. That’s the sort of two-fisted prooficatin’ that’ll knock the socks off of all those lily-livered, candy-ass, footnote-using academic types.
Luce women could use more honor.
ITYM Luce women could use more on her. And off her. Repeat when necessary.
They used that clip to replace the (far less confusing and ambiguous) one of a cigarette frizzling someone’s arm hair. I’m guessing they got lots of angry calls from RealAmericans(TM) who didn’t want their kids being exposed to images of torture.
Ha ha! I’m kidding! They don’t want their kids exposed to images of smoking.
Anyhoo, the pinchers pinching the thingy are a preview of the pinchers pinching whatever part of the pinchee they were going to stick in there.
My Google-fu is not strong enough to find an on-line image of the Kliban “Nixon Memorial” cartoon.
Snorghagen is right! Dammit history is like clay and you can make it do what you like without gettin’ caught up in why people did stuff. “For various reasons” is all youse need. FVR is the next internet tradition as far as I can see, FVR.
More serious design for a Statue of Responsibility.
Loose women don’t have any honor.
Does anybody know what the dude is pinching?
Nope, wondered that myself. It looked pretty pinchily meaningful, though, as far as pinching goes, but I agree it was a dumb choice of shots when they only had 30 seconds’ worth of stuff to show.
Once, when I threw a slot stool through a large casino window in Reno, and was subsequently wrestled to the ground by well-meaning but overly thuggish Washoe county deputy sheriffs, after they took me outside and beat me senseless twice, and took me to the county line and threw me out of the car, one of the cops asked me why I’d thrown that stool through that window.
I SO wish I would have known the answer was “for various reasons”.
Instead, I offered the time-worn “Fuck You” which, of course, got me beaten senseless a third time that morning…
mikey
The competition for this crown was the best of the blogs (Amy Alkon, The Anchoress, Ann Althouse, Little Miss Attila, Tammy Bruce, Dymphna of Gates of Vienna, Sondra K of Knowledge is Power, Mary Katharine Ham of The Weekly Standard, Rachel Lucas, Michelle Malkin, neo-neo con, Pundita, Debbie Schlussel, Sister Toldjah) – so this is an enormous honor. I have a very silly grin on my face.
Uh, Pam honey, I don’t think that quite qualifies as a silly grin.
“Can you name one country in which two languages and two cultural groups live side by side peacefully?”
Being Canadian, I’d have to go with … Belgium.
Shorter Pamela: LOOK AT ALL THESE BITCHES I BEAT!! I’m the Queen of Quite A Lot!!
I can’t stop. From the “Communism” lecture:
What makes him very German—the writing part or the dying family members part?
So proletariat equals slaves equals serfs. He really understands Marx.
From the same lecture:
A splendid idea.
Where can I find this Tom Cruise ad?
And you NONfucking frauds are such projectors, Ms. Five-Feet-O-Fugly.
“Scientology vs. NDSAP” Pliers:
Haven’t even seen the advert, let alone the picure, but could it be the wiring of the bomb? Big part of the flick, I’d guess.
Are they needlenosed? (The pliers, not the Nazis or Scientologists. We know about them.)
Plus, he suggests other statues, such as Valor, Courage, and Morality.
Hey, it’s not like he’s suggesting statues of Grammar, Spelling, and Coherence!
but could it be the wiring of the bomb?
Tom Cruise set us up the bomb!
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Just as long as there’s no statue of a Grammar Nazi.
Is this the trailer in question? It looks like the metal is pushed into plastique and then bent.
but could it be the wiring of the bomb? Big part of the flick, I’d guess.
Yeah, that would be my guess.
But as someone who has had a long and unhealthy relationship with explosive devices over multiple decades, lemme suggest, just in passing, really, that a bomb that requires pinching with pliers in order to activate or deactivate it probably needs more thought put into the design.
“Ok. Here’s the plan. Hand this briefcase to Hitler, then take out your pliers and pinch this little nipple having thing and RUN!!!”
Nah. I’m thinkin there might be a better approach.
Also, I’m listening to Gaslight Anthem. If you’re not, you should be.
mikey
Pencil detonator perhaps?
In fairness to the Culturism guy, in the midst of the garbled weirdness of his Communism lecture he did come up with this sharp little passage:
Now man works more and more at a pace he doesnt’ control and does a stupid job without any connection to the final product. The worker makes something he doesn’t understand, without creativity for someone he’ll never see use it.
This is no small thing. This is 40 to 70 hours a week of pain for most of your life.
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809913399/video/11209541
Must be the tensest part of the movie.
Not needlenosed either, but I wasn’t going w/in five metres of “dikes.”
P. S.: Why linky stinky? Or is it (Gasp!) me?
I’m listening to the wretched old Viet vets (?) in the next motel room strum their guitars while housecleaning the maid sweeps the balcony, & some guy shouts for a mop.
Gaslight Anthem? Whatever.
Hey, it’s not like he’s suggesting statues of Grammar, Spelling, and Coherence!
Behold a really crap photograph of the fireplace in the library at William Burges’ house in London. The decoration shows Dame Grammar sending the parts of speech to go forth and regularise the English language. To the right, two little Articles are holding the train of the regal Verb, who is preceded by two Pronouns blowing trumpets, and followed by Noun (carrying a weight) who does the work of the sentence.
I thought Kathy Shaidle asked to be removed as a contender when she found out teh Gays had her on a short list.
Does anybody know what the dude is pinching?
Thetans?
But really, I thought the ads for that movie are so pathetic, particularly the one that actually had Tom Cruise speaking about how important the movie was. When you need the star to literally state that the movie is good the movie is guaranteed to be terrible.
mikey, if even half of your stories are true, I would buy your drinks for an evening just to hear them in person.
Does anybody know what the dude is pinching?
Wanted to say “a loaf” but then I went & watched the trailer – which is about as much of that gilded turd as I’ll likely ever watch … for various reasons I’m guessing it’s a very phallic post to conduct electricity into a brick of plastic explosives … hmm – did the Nazis even have plastique in 1944?
(looks it up)
Damn, I guess so: Nobel invented gelignite way back in 1875. Huh!
The REAL puzzler for me is why Von Stauffenburg was such a tard as to think he’d off a guy with a bomb whose uncanny knack for surviving deadly explosions was already the stuff of legend in WW1, when he could just as easily have whipped out his handy-dandy Walther & given The Little Corporal a third nostril – or gotten Hitler’s coke laced with strychnine. What a newb.
I think that the pliers are pinching open a capsule of acid that will detonate the plastique in about twenty minutes. They didn’t want to use a clockwork fuse because of the noise and they didn’t want to use a burning fuse because of the smell.
I don’t actually know how many of them are true.
But by neddie jingo, I lived thru them all.
Now, I’d just like to hang out with hot chix…
mikey
Ah. Chem fuse.
So these scientolgists bet their ASS, their very existence, on some fulminate of mercury and a brass tube.
Fuckers pretty much deserved what they got…
mikey
I read somewhere that the plastique had two depressions for a backup acid capsule, and originally they were going to use two packages. Reality intrudes, and only one package gets set and only one capsule is activated. The equivalent of the third string quarterback throwing a forty yard pass in the last minute of the Poinsettia Bowl.
The grenade, overall, has taken more friendlies than it has hostiles.
I can’t tell you how many times peeps pull the pin, release the spoon and drop the motherfucker.
The takeaway is don’t let just any fuckwad dick around with your bomb.
Just sayin. Y’know?
mikey
a bomb whose uncanny knack for surviving deadly explosions was already the stuff of legend in WW1
Now, that’s some bomb!
Jim, baby, diagram that sentence. No Grammar Statue for you!
Since we’re already discussing pointless things (Tome Cruise), I wish someone would explain the Art of Noise. I like them and I don’t get it.
Usually when I click on a jpeg it gets bigger. On Gay Patriot’s site, it gets smaller.
Is this a metaphor for something?
What?
Oh, and happy New Year, all.
Here’s the Statue of Responsibility.
Statue of Responsibility.
This may (just conceivably) be OT — but I was looking up something by Arthur Koestler, and Teh Great Gazoogle referred me to this 1999 essay by John Derbyshire. According to Derbyshire, one symptom of the leftward leanings of the media and the intelligensia was their apparent failure to hold then-Prez Clinton responsible for his crimes, preferring to sweep everything under the carpet in the interests of national reconciliation.
Does he still believe that soon-to-be-ex presidents should be hounded mercilessly for any crimes of commission or omission that occurred during their terms of office, or in the course of seeking election? Inquiring minds are inquiring.
Just as long as there’s no statue of a Grammar Nazi.
Here you go. The Apotheosis of the Apostrophe (sculptress: V. Mukhina).
Does he still believe that soon-to-be-ex presidents should be hounded mercilessly for any crimes of commission or omission that occurred during their terms of office, or in the course of seeking election? Inquiring minds are inquiring.
IOKIYAR.
P.S. John Derbyshire is a twisted fuck.
I don’t know about him, but living in the horror movie of the last eight years, I’ve entertained the notion that maybe…
If we dig up Nixon and put an ash stake through his heart–
We might just take care of some problems.
One of the commenters not deleted from GPW links back to http://www.culturism.us/ a tome well worth SN!’s time to explore especially as the author gives us the first six pages free. His keen insights include gems like:
“Culturism takes diveristy seriously. Culturist recognize that some people would rather do drugs at home than go to school sober”
Mikey,
its a chemical fuse, J– is correct,
Smut Clyde,
Freak Power Forever Baby,
HST had campaign promises I could have believed in, if only more politicians campaigned on the idea of enforced mescaline use among county deputies, and removal of paved roads
Clyde, that’s a statue of a grammar Soviet. It’s OK If you’re a filthy commie!!
Anon, we’ve been onto that for a while (around 0113). It’s pretty much the gift that keeps giving.
I, for one, prefer to … never mind. My cultural diversity is no one else’s business.
My friends and I are hoping for executive meddling in that Scientologists vs. Nazis movie. Basically, we want to see the plan actually succeed (instead of, y’know, everyone except Hitler getting shot in the head), and then the whole thing devolves into a gigantic dance number, like the end of Caddyshack.
Y’know, I never would have pegged Truman for that sort of fellow.
I’ll start a little farther back in the thread, I think.
Uh, noen, I think they live in a NEON world. Or, they do use sonar, like the vampire bats they are
Poking my head in to point out that you defame vampire bats with this comparison. They are in fact somewhat social creatures who willingly share food with their friends so nobody in the colony starves to death if someone’s hunting wasn’t good.
Also, I like bats.
when he could just as easily have whipped out his handy-dandy Walther & given The Little Corporal a third nostril
Problem with this scheme is that von Stauffenberg (like anyone else outside the inner circle) was not allowed into Moustache Dude’s company until he handed over his firearm.
Clyde, that’s a statue of a grammar Soviet.
Singin’, don’t turn around, oh oh
Grammar Kommissar’s in town, oh oh
Alles klar, Grammar Kommissar?
Any comparison of humanoids to our friends in the animal universe is wrong, ’cause it takes that special human something to be as stupid or evil as we can be. (For example, by comparing ourselves & others to animals.)
I got nothing against bats, though not necessarily anything for them either.
I prefer bats to squirrels, if it comes to that. Damned destructive creatures, squirrels.
THE VOTE DOESN’T COUNT TILL YOU COUNT ALL THE VOTES!
We want Shaidle! We want Shaidle! We want Shaidle!
“…which is, of course, central to my point.”
Coffee spew!!!
What is their fascination with Endorra? You would think the gay-patriots would pick the more appropiate Bewitched character, Uncle Arthur!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Lynde
Does the “Nazis Vs. Scientologists” movie end with Hitler and L. Ron Hubbard declaring their love for one another (while standing on a pile of corpses comprised of all their henchmen) before ascending to Heaven in a spaceship?
…one of the cops asked me why I’d thrown that stool through that window.
Well, why does anyone, really?
For instance, this one time I remember an administrative official in the Connecticut educational system needed to dress up in lacy women’s lingerie, fire up several speedballs, wash them down with vodka, and speed down I-95 at 3 am even though he sorta must have known the cops were gonna pull him over eventually.
Sometimes you just have to put on the panties and drive.
I am not sure why your story reminded me of this one, mikey, but my friends and I still remember this gentleman’s adventures with awe and a certain stunned affection. I repeat, for emphasis:
Sometimes you just have to put on the panties and drive.
FREE SPEECH IS HERE WITH U LIEBERALS!!!! MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK BECAUSE I’M DRIVING WITH MY PANTIES ON AFTER TRYING TO POST CONGRATULATIONS TO P’CAKES AT GAYIDIOTPATRIOT!!!! BUT MY COMMENTS D1DN’T APPEAR!!!! HAH!!!!! SO MUCH FOR THE 1ST AMENDMT SCUMBAGS!!!!!!
put on the panties and drive.
I tried that, but then I couldn’t see where I was going.
“Not needlenosed either, but I wasn’t going w/in five metres of “dikes.” ”
Dikes – Slang for diagonal cutters, or side cutters.
90% of people I knew in the electronic/construction industry called them dikes. Only the ultra-prudes & homophobic called them by their full, proper name.
M.Bouffant: Any gay reference & Tom Cruise in the same sentence is a win!
“put on the panties and drive.
I tried that, but then I couldn’t see where I was going.”
No, no, no. The BRA goes on the head!
http://blogs.tampabay.com/80s/images/2007/06/12/weirdscience_2.jpg
Dikes – Slang for diagonal cutters, or side cutters.
Weird – I’ve never heard that. Are they the same thing that people might call “flush cutters”?
There’s a reason that cunt is divorced.