Hot Giles-on-Shapiro Action!
As I mentioned earlier, Doug Giles had Ben Shapiro on his Clash Radio program last night to talk about Ben’s latest book, Porn Generation: How Liberals are Trying to Force Me to Have Sex Against My Will. Hearing two intellectual titans like Giles and Shapiro discuss pornography is like listening to Shakespeare and Michelangelo debate the effects that flexible exchange rates have on monetary policy: you don’t know what they’re talking about, they don’t know what they’re talking about, but nevertheless, it’s awe-inspiring.
Doug begins the segment by noting how easy it’s become to access pornography on-line:
Giles: Now all I have to do if I want [pornography] is go on my laptop or click on Sesame Street (sic). When do you think it’s going to be in church or synagogue?
Because if something becomes available on the Internet (or through rogue Cookie Monster sites, apparently), then logic dictates it must start appearing in churches. This is why some Episcopal denominations have changed their name to Instatarians and have replaced every “Amen” in the Gospel with a “Heh. Indeed.”
Virgin Ben: Not far off. I mean, the tolerance for pornography in our society has grown to such an extent that we really could talk rationally about the possibility of pornography in churches and synagogues…
Well, you could talk about it, but I’m not sure how rational you’d be…
TaliBen: …especially since, you know, there are so many churches and synagogues that have gone off the path of Biblical morality anyway. I mean, tolerance of homosexuality in churches and synagogues, tolerance of premarital promiscuity, of adultery, of all sorts of negligent and wrongful behavior, and sinful behavior.
So once your church welcomes the gays, they’ll start promoting promiscuity and adultery too. Of course, you could fix this problem by letting homosexuals marry, but that’d ruin their reputation as insatiable horn-dogs, and then Republicans would have to find a new disenfranchised minority to kick around.
At any rate, Ben goes on to describe modern America as a “live and let live” society where people let each other do pretty much whatever they want as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody else. I think this is a pretty reasonable arrangement, since I really don’t want to know what my neighbors are doing with all the giant stuffed animals they get delivered to their door every week. But Ben doesn’t like this because… well, see if you can follow his argument:
Noteva ben Laiden: Well, the problem with [the “live and let live” mentality] is that when you ask society to tolerate and accept what you’re doing, then really you are forcing your opinion on someone else, you are affecting me. It’s not just you doing something privately in your own home and not asking me about it, it’s you asking me about it and then saying that you have a right to do it and forcing your opinion on me.
Call me crazy, but I don’t think very many people call Ben to ask his permission before looking at porno. In fact, if I made a list of people that under no circumstances would I discuss my sex life with, Ben would be somewhere between my grandmother and Gandhi. Anyway, I think Ben’s trying to say that I have no right to privacy, and that if I try to have sex in my apartment, Darth Dobson and his Focus on the Family Storm Troopers should crash through my window and use their ray guns to incinerate my genitals.
Next, Doug asks Ben to describe the mockery and derision he’s suffered among his peers for taking such a brave stance against having fun of any kind:
Doug-E Gilez: What kind of heat are you taking for coming out this way?
(No, Jim, Ben’s not coming out that way, so keep it in your pants.)
Giles: I mean, you’re a young, good-looking guy and best-selling author, I mean, you gotta have girls throwing themselves at you…
“Puritanical, humorless and an Ann Coulter fan! You must be a devil with the ladies!”
Giles: …yet, you’re making a clear moral stance that you’re not going to go down that societal swill-path.
I could make plenty of jokes about “going down” on a “swill-paths,” but I’ll leave those to our more perverted readers.
At this point, Ben says liberals hate him because he’s a virgin, since it means we can’t call him a hypocrite like Bill “Who’s Looking Out for Your Falafel” O’Reilly. This is where Doug asks Ben if he wants to use his virginity to “kick the crap out of liberals,” and Ben affirms that it’s “one good reason.”
OK, that’s all the Giles-on-Shapiro action I can take for one night- it really is too hottt to handle. Tune in later in the week, when Ben will tell us why flirting is wrong and why Abercrombie & Fitch catalogues should be publicly burned.
I could make plenty of jokes about “going down” on a “swill-path,” but I’ll leave those to our more perverted readers.
More perverted than whom, our merely stunningly perverted readers? This is a bog, you know.
Not to miss the point or anything, but Isaac Newton knew quite a lot about monetary policy. He ran Britain’s Mint for a while.
And boy howdy do those churches tolerate wrongful and sinful behavior these days. If by wrongful and sinful I mean greed, hypocracy, lying, being judgmental, and douchebaggery.
Not to miss the point or anything, but Isaac Newton knew quite a lot about monetary policy. He ran Britain’s Mint for a while.
Goddamn it, I didn’t know Newton was one of them super-geniuses… sigh, will fix…
Didn’t you know? He even had one of those little cards like Wile E. carries around with him.
However Isaac was also a gay religious nutbag so I guess it all sorta evens out.
Oddly enough, if I had to name a church that I thought was going to incorporate porn into the liturgy, it would be Doug’s. And it would mainly consist of sermons about really hot, tough guys with names like Dick Divine and Rod Righteous wandering around, kicking secular homosexual ass, killing crazed rhinos with nothing more than the determined jut of their steely jaws, and constantly getting laid by demure but stunningly beautiful virgins who somehow lose most of their clothes, and who’ve been waiting all their lives for Dick (or Rod) to save them.
Giles: I mean, you’re a young, good-looking guy and best-selling author, I mean, you gotta have girls throwing themselves at you…
Umm… Brad, ya sure ol’ Dougy isn’t hitting on TaliBen here, ‘cos this sure sounds like flirting to me (yeah, I know…). This is where this being on “Clash Radio” is kinda not in our favor–‘cos we can’t see whether the Dougmeister’s hand is on vBen’s thigh (in a masculine, reassuring sort of way, naturally) or not. And just where was Jim, anyway?
“Noteva ben Laiden: Well, the problem with [the “live and let live” mentality] is that when you ask society to tolerate and accept what you’re doing, then really you are forcing your opinion on someone else, you are affecting me. It’s not just you doing something privately in your own home and not asking me about it, it’s you asking me about it and then saying that you have a right to do it and forcing your opinion on me.”
Yes, the mere existence of behavior you don’t like is an affront to your rights.
Honestly, I maintain that the true test of whether a person is a fanatic is of whether they dislike a behavior because it hurts them, or whether they dislike a behavior simply because it exists.
By Ben’s standard, his book should be illegal, because I disagree with its opinion and it exists.
I didn’t know Newton was one of them super-geniusesNewton was also super-Foucauldian. God called me and mentioned that bit (I think He got it from Gavin).
Why is Giles’s porn folder labeled Sesame Street? Do I want to know?
It’s all live and let live with
an incarceration rate 5-8 times higher than any other industrialized nation.
Cram it, little turds Fauntleroy.
Well, although Newton ran the mint this was when he was pining away for his swedish boyfriend whose family had taken him away. So he apparently took great relish in hanging counterfeiters and getting mad at his friends like Sam Pepys.
In any case he was a Mathematical Physicist. Is there any doubt that he was smarter than everybody else who wasn’t a Mathematical Physicist? Especially Economists?
In any case he was a Mathematical Physicist. Is there any doubt that he was smarter than everybody else who wasn’t a Mathematical Physicist? Especially Economists?
Well, seeing how there WEREN’T really any economists until Adam Smith…
There were financial scam artists coming up with economic policy. Remember the South Sea Bubble, by which ordinary people bought up government debt and were left holding the bag when the whole venture amounted to diddly-divided-by-squat? You may remember it by its more recent moniker, Personal Retirement Security Accounts.
“…you’re making a clear moral stance that you’re not going to go down…”
Since you want me to make the comment on this – well, actually, some people say you’re still a virgin after oral so I don’t know that he’s making a clear moral stance on this.
Therefore I submit the new nickname of the Virgin Ben Cousteau.
Dick Devine is the Cook County (Illinois) state’s attorney. Just sayin’…
Also, careful mentioning Newton. He died a virgin, and of course, he wrote the famous Principia Pornographica: How Leffer Mathematicianf Are Tryinge to Force Me To Have Sexe Againft My Wille.
“Principia Pornographica: How Leffer Mathematicianf Are Tryinge to Force Me To Have Sexe Againft My Wille.”
Are you sure that isn’t “Against My Willie”? Or “Against My Wifie”?
Well, the problem with [the “live and let live” mentality] is that when you ask society to tolerate and accept what you’re doing, then really you are forcing your opinion on someone else, you are affecting me. It’s not just you doing something privately in your own home and not asking me about it, it’s you asking me about it and then saying that you have a right to do it and forcing your opinion on me.
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Uh, yeah. Let’s convenient skip the part where no one actually asks him; it makes him feel important to leave that part in, though.
We are through the looking glass now, and parody has become reality.
I’m so good at typing and stuff.
Dan Someone, that book title is so funny it made me laugh my special at-work silent laugh (kind of a quiet “hee-hee” with shoulders heaving). Thank you for the pleasure.
Yep, Dan, I’m an 18th-century specialist, and that was a nice inside-y kinda joke.
“and why Abercrombie & Fitch catalogues should be publicly burned.”
Hey man, I’m with Ben on that. Their clothes suck.
Brad, this post made me laugh so hard I almost sharted. I think I love you.
Isn’t this Shart Week on the Discovery Channel?
I don’t know about your church, but I go to one with a whole lotta paintings of fat naked baby angels playing grab ass. Some call it art, I call it Pedophilia. sick sick priests
Does Ben see any irony at all in the fact the he rails against pop singers who use their sexuality to draw attention to themselves, while declaring his virginity to the world (which is just another way of using one’s sexuality)?
What am I saying? He wouldn’t know irony if it jumped up and fucked him in the ass.
(No, Jim, Ben’s not coming out that way, so keep it in your pants.)*Sniff* [acceptance speech voice] It is indeed an honor to be an object of Brad R.’s snark and I promise to you, my fellow commenters, that I will contain to lust in my heart for VBen and Judson Cox. However, I wish to emphasize in the strongest possible terms that Doug Giles is a no-go zone. Thank you and good night [/acceptance speech voice]
Gah, “I will contain” is the same as “I will continue” isn’t it?
OK, so explain why Doug Giles is a “no-go zone?” He’s a manly man who shoots defenseless animals. What more could you want? 😉
That was nuts. Anyone ever ask Ben if he, um, slaps around the little Ben? Once, in one of my many dry spells, I tried to see how long I could go without the old five-knuckle shuffle. In two weeks I was climbing the walls and waking up in the middle of the night humping the pillows. I got to believe a healthy young man can only go so long . . .
Anyone ever ask Ben if he, um, slaps around the little Ben?I’ll bet “the little Ben” resembles a customized pistol grip by now. Hell, mine did at that age.
Dan Someone, as an historian of science, I laughed out loud at your 17th-centuryesque book title. Though I must take issue with one minor orthographical point: an “s” at the end of a word would have been written with the regular short “s” and not the elongated f-like one. At least that’s how I’ve always seen it.
Funny thing is, when Newton had his nervous breakdown, he accused his friends like Edmund Halley of, among other things, trying to get him embroiled with women. But he showed them! Ha!
Back to Ben…I can’t put it any simpler than this: when I was his age, I was doing what I could to not be a virgin. And not succeeding for quite a while.
OK, so explain why Doug Giles is a “no-go zone?” He’s a manly man who shoots defenseless animals. What more could you want? 😉
Gang of Four:
Time with my girl,
I spent it well,
I had to be strong for my woman
(You must be joking-Oh, no, you must be joking!)
She needed to be protected,
The good life was so elusive,
Handouts, they got me down,
I had to regain my self-respect,
So I got into camouflage,
The girls, they love to see you shoot,
(I love a man in a uniform!)
(I love a man in a uniform!)
(I love a man in a uniform!)
(I love a man in a uniform!)
Anyone ever ask Ben if he, um, slaps around the little Ben?
I Googled “Ben Shapiro” and “masturbation” and found a conservative critique of Porn Generation that said that the Virgin Ben thought masturbation was sinful.
Either the boy’s a hypocrite or he’s gone insane or he’s asexual.
http://www.enterstageright.com/archive/articles/0605/0605pornnation.htm
Or all three.