The Virgin Ben’s Perverse Morality
The Virgin Ben takes a decidedly fascist turn in his latest column. If he keeps it up, I’m gonna start calling him the TaliBen:
The American Civil Liberties Union focuses far more on preventing effective law enforcement than on protecting American lives. Its incessant complaints about the treatment of Guantanamo Bay detainees has undermined the moral authority of the American military, despite the fact that treatment has been more than adequate under the circumstances. Its obsession with “exposing” as many Abu Ghraib images as possible is designed as a direct attack on American soldiers abroad […] But civil libertarian absolutists will continue to assault America’s safety in favor of American “liberties.” Myopic civil libertarians ignore the simple fact that effective law enforcement is the best way to promote civil liberties.
And according to Ben, effective law enforcement entails ignoring law enforcement guidelines. Let’s recall what he said about Abu Ghraib last year (via TBogg, emphasis added):
You’re seeing a real bias towards one side and attempts to paint the U.S. military as evil, as the terrorists are, and you’re seeing this clearly in the coverage of the Abu Ghraib scandal vs. the beheading of someone. I don’t know how you equate getting some people naked and piling them up or possibly even abusing them in a reprehensible manner with beheading.
So according to Ben, forcing people to strip naked and pose for humiliating photos only constitutes possible abuse.
Let’s recall that this is the same Ben Shapiro who recently wrote how oppressed young conservative men were because colleges forced them to share dorms with women (the horror!):
Consider a world made up entirely of eighteen-year-old men and women, hormones raging, walk around in towels and pajamas like sisters and brothers, often sharing bathrooms and sometimes bedrooms- and, much of the time, beds.
So it’s immoral and wrong for universities to permit students to live in co-ed dorms, where they’re more likely to have consensual sexual relations, but it’s no big deal if the government practices systematic sexual abuse of detainees.
Just so you’re picturing this correctly, here’s a photo montage of would happen if Ben were appointed supreme dictator of the world:
THIS WOULD BE BANNED:
THIS WOULD BE ALLOWED:
THIS WOULD BE PUNISHABLE BY DEATH:
THIS WOULD BE WORTHY OF A MEDAL:
EVERYONE WHO WORE TRAMPY OUTFITS WOULD BE THROWN IN JAIL:
WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE:
Woke up this morning but my bad girl done and gone
Yes well I woke you this morning and my bad girl done and gone
She said she could’nt love nobody whose head is half gone
Yeah, I want to hear TMBVB (The Most Blessed Virgin Ben) comment on Mann Coulter’s loose morals and slutty attire! What? What’s that Ben? I can’t hear you. *sound of whimpering in the corner*. That’s what I thought…. Moral relativity’s a bitch.
Oh man, is Ben ever going to get it. I stand by my hypothesis. Mangled genitalia, or asexual. I expect he has a WELL THUMBED copy of “The Sun Also Rises” that’s what I’m sayin.
If he keeps it up, I’m gonna start calling him the TaliBen:
Ahh, do it anyway, that’s a good one and the little putz deserves it.
Let me get this straight. Defending the human rights of people *suspected* of having some tenuous involvement with insurgents somehow puts our military personnel at risk? Huh? How is a suspect going to endanger people from within his prison cell? How does degrading and abusing him going to help prevent our soldiers from being abused or killed when they’re captured?
Talk about sick and perverted.
Let me get this straight. Defending the human rights of people *suspected* of having some tenuous involvement with insurgents somehow puts our military personnel at risk?
In many cases, NOT EVEN suspected- we’re talking about common criminals, or people randomly picked up off the street.
You can’t legislate Bluto.
Doesn’t torture itself undermine one’s moral authority? VBen needs to get laid
Pardon me for saying the obvious here: this boy is as stupid as a heap of week-old gyro meat. First, he writes: “Yes, we’d prefer that police target those of Muslim religious persuasion for searches…”, as though they’re all wearing “Hello, I’m a Muslim!” buttons or something. I think (although God knows this is bad enough) he means “Middle Easterners”. Yet wasn’t one of the London bombers a West Indian by birth? And then he goes on to say “bombers tend not to be middle-aged white women from Kansas or elderly Asian men…” But wasn’t Khalid Shiek Mohammed sort of an eldery Asian man? Isn’t Osama Bin Laden an eldery Asian man?
What a dipshit.
“Its incessant complaints about the treatment of Guantanamo Bay detainees has undermined the moral authority of the American military….”
Ben’s incessant abusive treatment of English grammar has undermined the intellectual authority of the Harvard law school.
I think every Ben Shapiro column could be readily distilled to the single onomatopoetic word “harrumph.”
My mom actually said this to me about the 9/11 suicide attack (this after I told her that most of them were from Saudi Arabia and -oh, guess what?!- none from Iraq): “Yes, but they were all Muslims, weren’t they?”*smug and self-satisfied* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! After my head nearly exploded, I did recover to reply: “Yes, and the Oklahoma City bombers were all CHRISTIANS, JUST LIKE YOU!” OK, I have to lie down now…..
TaliBen? Yeah, and I suspect that he ever meets up with JimJeff, it’ll be Tail Gunner Ben…
I can’t help it, this makes me want to scream.
Now that we know what Ben’s real problems are — a fear of women (soft, clean-smelling, mysterious women) and a fear of beheading — we can ask the questions that really matter.
Has Ben ever considered whether napalming is worse than beheading?
How about plain ol’ clusterbombing, is that worse?
What about being MOABed, is that better or worse than being beheaded?
How about being precision-laser-guided-ordinanced, worse or better?
Dying of compressive chest injury and waterboarding, surely that’s gotta be better than dying from a beheading, right?
Help me out here, Ben?
vBen just fantasizes about being at the bottom of a pile of naked, Iraqi male prisoners. Oh, and being sodomized with a chemical light stick and/or broomstick. Of course, his operational theory here is a common conservative one–if we don’t see pictures of an illegal act, it never happened!
As Ben knows, sometimes you have to burn down the village and piss on the ashes in order to save it.
Oh please start calling him TaliBen.
I’m not clicking on the column but I don’t suppose Ben ever mentions the more recent allegations of rape and murder of prisoners?
That picture of Coulter has possibly ruined my latex fetish for the remainder of my life, thanks alot!
Pardon me for saying the obvious here: this boy is as stupid as a heap of week-old gyro meat. First, he writes: “Yes, we’d prefer that police target those of Muslim religious persuasion for searches…”, as though they’re all wearing “Hello, I’m a Muslim!” buttons or something. I think (although God knows this is bad enough) he means “Middle Easterners”. Yet wasn’t one of the London bombers a West Indian by birth? And then he goes on to say “bombers tend not to be middle-aged white women from Kansas or elderly Asian men…” But wasn’t Khalid Shiek Mohammed sort of an eldery Asian man? Isn’t Osama Bin Laden an eldery Asian man?
It’s been shown that targeting people (based on a profile, like religious persuasion or country of origin) when conducting security searches is actually less effective than relying on strictly random searches:
http://www.swiss.ai.mit.edu/6805/student-papers/spring02-papers/caps.htm
Don’t confuse the issue with facts and statistics!
Why the scare quotes around liberties?
Now that we know what Ben’s real problems are — a fear of women (soft, clean-smelling, mysterious women) and a fear of beheading — we can ask the questions that really matter.
Perhaps he has issues surrounding his circumcision.
I’d still like to know how his pale, trembling ass made it into Harvard Law.
That picture of Coulter has possibly ruined my latex fetish for the remainder of my life, thanks alot!
Posted by SisterGeoff at July 28, 2005 03:35 PM
Maybe that was for the best.
As for Ben, I have to say that Virginity Chose Ben, not the other way around. I have to think that if any girl of any level of physical attractiveness . . . hell, even if I (perish the thought) showed the remotest interest in him, he’d be slobbering all over himself trying to morally rationalize why it is OK for him to engage in premarital anything but not everyone else. Suddenly it’d be all about abstinence for everyone but Ben.
Don’t confuse the issue with facts and statistics!
Sorry – I know this is the last place to welcome that sort of behavior (by which I mean, boring), but sometimes I just can’t help myself.
Annie came from New Cannan, C.N.A.
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
She said, Hey honey
Take a walk on the wild side
Shapiro came from out on the Island
In the backroom he was everybody’s darlin’
But he never lost his head
Even when he was giving head
He says, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
Said, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
And the colored girls go
doo do doo do doo do do doo
Pasty Doughboy never once gave it away
Everybody had to pay and pay
A hustle here and a hustle there
New York City’s the place where they said, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
I said, Hey Jonah,
Take a walk on the wild side
Derbyshire came and hit the streets
Lookin’ for soul food and a place to eat
Went to the Apollo
You should’ve seen ’em go go go
They said, Hey sugar
Take a walk on the wild side
I Said, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
All right, huh
Swank is just speeding away
Thought he was James Dean for a day
Then I guess she had to crash
Valium would have helped that bash
Said, Hey babe,
Take a walk on the wild side
I said, Hey honey,
Take a walk on the wild side
And the colored girls say,
doo do doo do doo do do doo
Was I the only one to think that all Annie needed to complete her photo was a whip and an eyepatch?
I was thinking, “Bag over her head. Preferably plastic.”
Loved the “Walk On the Wild Side” rewrite.
how do you know my name?
Yes, it came on one of the rock stations, and this thread was the place I had to take it.
“Come, Mr. TaliBen, tally me bananas…”
No, that won’t work, he’s getting all worked up.
“Gay-O! Gay-O! Exam-time come, he wanna go home.”
I don’t think his home city of Burbank is planning any parades…
2 Peter 3, ?God is not willing that any should perish, but all should come to repentance.? I’m truly praying for all of you. Media7 Raamattuopisto >> Media7 Raamattuopisto Do not waste your precious time studying me, as wacky kind of flattering it is. Please Learn of Him.
Love,
Marie Jon’
Every Eye
http://www.lifetalk.net/2ndcoming/ee.html
PS. Politics is not a religion. “Love God with all your heart.”
12:19 Good night
Marie, I believe you’re sincere and appreciate your sincerity. Nontheless, I don’t know why you want to remove me from the faith of my ancestors. Your co-religionists came and forcibly squelched the traditional Saami beliefs, burning drums, and exacting violence.
When you say, “Love God with all your heart,” I know you aren’t speaking of my favorite God, Tapio, Master of the Forest. Why should I give up Tapio? Should I follow the teachings of the preacher Laestadius, who came to my people and called alcohol the devil’s vomit and talked about whores standing up with their sin running down their leg? That doesn’t sound like a religion I want to be part of.
I can respect that you value your religion, but please don’t try to force it on me. It has already killed much of my traditional culture. I am fine with what religion I have, just as you are happy with your religion. You must realize that in Finland, religion is a private thing.
If you must try to evangelize me, tell me why I should believe in an updated version of Mithras instead of the gods my people followed since the ancient times.
If you must try to evangelize me, tell me why I should believe in an updated version of Mithras instead of the gods my people followed since the ancient times.
Hate to undermine partially an otherwise great argument- but Christianity predates the aspects of Mithras worship to which you refer
(And in the attitude of respecting each other’s beliefs- I’d appriciate we avoid marginalizing each other’s religious figures, especially when it’s not technially accurate)
That all said- Marie is a fucking nut, part of a movement that leads Christianity away from the true message of Jesus.
GuinnessGuy, you are right, and I apologize. It appears that if copying went on, it went mostly in the opposite direction. I should have researched the issue further and not allowed my resentment of the the abuses of traditional cultures done in the name of Christ to cloud my thinking.
I do not want to insult you, and it may help if I explain that I believe you and Marie worship totally different God-concepts. Marie seems to appreciate Republican Jayzuz whereas you seem to be more true to the Jewish Jesus who would be called a liberal hippy today by the likes of Marie.
Hey, it’s totally cool, man- some people just make you so angry, you know?
Peace
Actually, Mithras predates Christianity from the 12 followers to the dec. 25 birthday to coming back from the dead. From all the stuff I’ve read on the subject, that was around a couple of hundred of years before the 0 C.E.
Yes, Mithraism developed in the 1st Century BC- but the aspects in question, aside from the Dec. 25 birthday (the Gospels clearly state a spring birth anyway- Dec 25 was taken as a political manuever by Constantine), seems to have developed after Paul’s tour of Anatolia, Greece and Italy.
At least, there is no evidence of those things occuring before the late 1st century AD, and would be consistant with Mithraism’s habit of taking aspects of popular cults into it’s practice.