Uh…Who is Peter Fitzgerald?

Argh. I refuse to click on the link, but I still want to know what the bozo says. Think I’ll make a martini instead.

Shorter shorter = Fap Fappity OOhhhh!11!!!

Er. Based on the sound effects, that be: “Rahm was the meat in the Blagoveich, Obama sammich.”

Is Fitzgerald afraid of the political fall-out in going after the Jackson mob? Apparently so.

Pat Fitzgerald prosecuted the top advisor to the most powerful Vice President in U.S. history, but evidently he’s quaking in his boots at the mere thought of prosecuting the Jesse Jackson Mob.

Makes sense to me.

Can you make Ace’s hands go up and down, as in a giant pantomime phallus?

A solid summary, but I think it understated the level of wankery involved in the piece.

If they can’t use Blago to bash Obama, they’ll use him to bash Jesse Jackson Jr.

Whatever it takes, as long as they get to bash one.

Ahhhh, “Ace Of Spades” means he has killed five already. Now it all makes sense.

Guess the Klan robes are at the dry cleaners.

You can Huff and Chuff and Whine your coward asses off.

It’s still not going to disqualify him from the Presidency.

Fuck Heads…

Uh…Who is Peter Fitzgerald?

Gerald Fitzpeter’s life partner.

Ace pulls so much stuff right out of his ass that he should consider career as a stage magician: The Great Bunghole.

The legend lives on, from the Chippewa on down
of the big lake they call Gitchee Goomeeeeee

How long before Korir gets involved in this? Surely he’s got a tape of Michelle Obama offering Blago some kind of deal to keep Whitey’s white ass out of the vacated seat. I also wonder if the Aceholes will prove themselves as dedicated to the cause of justice as the PUMAs. Over at his blog they’re patriotically offering Fitzgerald help with his investigation. Even going so far as to provide him with links to the web sites of major news organizations that have been covering this story. Via.

Ace o’ Spades: Ace Reporter! His video link is empty and he uses the Malkin thing as a “source” regurgitating her spin on a newspaper article in order to tonguejack his own shitbox. What a useless individual. I hope that if I ever meet him face to face I happen to have with me a large sock full of horse manure. Sometimes I carry one with me for just such occasions.

Was Ace just singing “O Solo Mio” a little while ago?

Pat Fitzgerald prosecuted the top advisor to the most powerful Vice President in U.S. history, but evidently he’s quaking in his boots at the mere thought of prosecuting the Jesse Jackson Mob.

Well, you know how violent those people can be.

Seriously, some people just look like compulsive masturbaters, don’t they?

Peter Fitzgerald is the the Republican who formerly occupied Obama’s Senate seat.

Patrick Fitzgerald is the US Attorney for the Northern District of Illinois.

You can see how Ace would get them confused: all those Irish look alike.

I love how Ace (channeling Malkin) finds it extremely suspicious that Rahm Emanuel would refuse to answer a reporter’s intrusive questions while he was attending a performance by his children. Fuck a bunch of right wing blogtards. If it were me, I’d have punched the reporter in the face.

Also, don’t click Ace’s link to the Tribune article – it doesn’t go to the actual Tribune article, but to a Hot Air report that links to it. Fuck that traffic-driving shit.

You can see how Ace would get them confused: all those Irish look alike.

C’mon, you can’t accuse a leprechaun-visaged guy named “O’Spades” of being anti-Irish.

I second the face-punching instinct.

And besides, what the fuck would Rahm Emmanuel be doing playing go-between for JJ Jr? It’s illogical and inconsistent in so many ways.

So wait, Rahm Emanuel is guilty as hell because this one time he wouldn’t answer a question, and Blagojevich has dirt on the whole freaking state legislature because the AG did something or other? Fucking wow. Ace must be half spider, because no other creature can spin up so much whole-cloth nonsense pulled directly out of its ass.

Fap will always be the sound to me that “Day By Day” makes.

There’s a transcript of Rham’s chat with the Gov over at KOS

MsNicki: I loved your comparison of reporters for the Obama/Blagov to dogs at the dinner table (sort of). And now the manure filled sock! Maybe it time to start your own Snark-Blog.

On that photo, what happened to the sign that read “YOUR SAMMICH HERE” between the hands?

FYWP.

“Seriously, some people just look like compulsive masturbaters, don’t they?”

You talk about compulsive masturbation like it was a a bad thing.

Uh, I mean, that is to say…oh, look at the time! Gotta go!

oh, look at the time! Gotta go!

You do it on SCHEDULE?!! Now that’s what I call compulsive*.

*misspelled “cumpulsive” the first time around.

You do it on SCHEDULE?!!

You’d rethra spur-of-the-moment activity?

to be fair he also through in a few

ba da da da das

You’d rethra spur-of-the-moment activity?

Noooooo! STABBITY!

Oh, and Ace?

Blago-smearing = Not Working. Maybe you could argue that you’ve put a small dent in the rate of increase of Obama’s approval rating, but probably not.

Just like “The War of Ideas at Home”, you’re losing this one, bucky.

Fozzetti: That’s very kind of you. I’ve thought of doing a blog but it looks like too much work, which I try to avoid whenever possible, plus it’d take time away from my pressing duties as amateur smartass and animal shelter volunteer.

Also I have to admit I stole the “sock full of horse manure” from an old Woody Allen movie.

I notice he approvingly quotes John Kass, who is the most putrid asshole ever to clutter up a Chicago newspaper since Bob Greene was fucking high-school girls.

Peter Fitzgerald is the the Republican who formerly occupied Obama’s Senate seat.

It’s also worth noting that Peter got Patrick his job. (Typically, the senior–or in this case, only–senator from the President’s party gets to recommend the U.S. attorneys in his state.)

John Kass believes that Peter lost his job because establishment Illinois politicians were pissed that Patrick went after corruption so zealously, but, as hinted above, Kass is a fucktard who wouldn’t know the truth if it punched him in his fat face. In fact, Peter was an arrogant, self-righteous jerk who alienated just about everyone he tried to work with.

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C’mon, you can’t accuse a leprechaun-visaged guy named “O’Spades” of being anti-Irish.

Pfft. Ace is soulless. He’d turn on fat white men with ugly beards if the Republicans told him to jump that way. As such, him hating on the Irish while being Irish is perfectly plausible.

MzNicky’s manuresock reminds me of WC Fields:

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

Bitter Scribe: Nevertheless, I fell in love with and wanted to bear the children of Patrick Fitzgerald back when he was ruthlessly pursuing the Plame/Libby case. Please reassure me that my infatuation was not misplaced. I mean, the dude’s HOT.

If it were me, I’d have punched the reporter in the face

Something tells me that the only thing keeping Rahm from doing exactly that is that he’d likely lose his job.

But it would have been super awesome.

MzNicky, I was ragging on Peter, not Patrick. Patrick is cool, although I sure as shit wouldn’t want him on my case if I’d done anything wrong.

lol you losers are running scared fap fap fap wait hold on faaaaaart what’s that ace, you’ve got the new maxim, sweet, hold on, gotta fap sommore fap fap fap

Ahh, “fap” as in Don “Mad” Martin. Knew I’d “heard” that somewhere.

The legend lives on, from the Chippewa on down
of the big lake they call Gitchee Goomeeeeee

Gord’s Gold. That song fitz right in.
Yes I’m about 2 weeks late but I damn well noticed!

Peter or Patrick? Never mind. Wise ol’ Ace, after 16 hours, realized his mistake (Sentence 1, Paragraph 1) and corrected it to “Patrick” Fitzgerald.

Peter, however, is still missing.

Ahh, “fap” as in Don “Mad” Martin. Knew I’d “heard” that somewhere.

In this case, I think the sound effect was originally a Japanese porn comic onomatopoeia (imported to the English-speaking world by way of a geeky NSFW webcomic that was a parody of Japanese smut). Though I wouldn’t be surprised if the Japanese author was inspired by Don Martin’s sound effect wizardry, because who isn’t?

I don’t get it. I have to say that I’ve spent a lot of time fapping in my life, but my fapping has never sounded like, er, “fap.” Am I “doin it rong,” as the kids say these days? The silent (and thus unonomatopoetic) consequence of my fapping suggests not, but maybe I’m missing something….

This site is certainly helpful. You are a very articulate speaker.