Hank 2: The Pankening
Where were we? Oh right, Donald Hank.
America lacks standing
By Donald Hank[…]
The Constitution was further undermined by G.W. Bush when he decided that, as chief law enforcer, he could pick and choose which of his constitutional duties to fulfill and chose not to comply with his duty to defend our borders.
See, you can often tell the cuisine of wingnuttery that one of these characters has been consuming by the particular ancient, Snopes-worthy arguments that he or she cites. Like the anti-tax argument earlier, this is rural-nativist, right-populist stuff, literally descendant from Free-Silverism. It’s almost charming in this late era of Coulter and Limbaugh. Also charming is how Bush is almost out of office, so they’ve stopped worshipping him as the earthly manifestation of God and Reagan, and are now looking around for things to blame on him.
As it happens, the Constitutional duty to protect against ‘invasion’ is specified in Article IV, Section 4. By careful word-twisting and cheeseparing, this has been claimed to apply not only to attacking foreign armies, but equally to individual, unarmed and even friendly foreign civilians, such as those who cross the border to pick lettuce.
As bad Constitutional arguments go, it’s not quite as shoddy as asserting that we can’t know for certain whether the framers were actually writing ‘f’ or ‘s,’ and therefore since there’s no such ratifying body as ‘Congreff,’ the government cannot legally prevent you from mounting a .50 caliber Browning machine gun out the tailgate of your unregistered ’89 Jeep Cherokee, or what-have-you. But it’s heading in that direction.
He suggested this was his duty as a Christian, saying on national TV, first, “they are good people looking for a better way of life”…and ending with “it [letting undocumented stay illegally] is good for our soul.”
Everyone who is truly a Christian knows that okay, no, illegal immigrants are bad people who are looking for a worse way of life — and that letting them [move in next door and start dating your daughter, if ‘dating’ is what you want to call it when a young lady goes God-knows-where every night and comes home smelling of cigarettes and pico-de-goddamn-gallo] is good for our souls arseholes.
Or in other words, first nobody came for the illegal immigrants, and I am not an illegal immigrant, so gosh darn it, I am saying something.
Bush thereby not only overstepped his constitutional bounds but also donned the clerical hat, as though America had anointed him as their Pope, not their president. And here is where “conservatives” got egg on their faces. Many gave him a pass, believing in their hearts that Bush was sent by God as their “ruler” rather than lending him power with the reservation that he uphold the Constitution, as must be done in a Republic. Thus it wasn’t Bush who failed. It was American Christians.
This is not an either/or kind of blog. We like to think in terms of both/and.
McCain did likewise, supporting an illegal bill to give amnesty to lawbreakers. He too played pope, condescendingly calling illegal Mexicans “God’s little children.”
We know whose ‘little children’ they really are. Illegal bills to give amnesty to lawbreakers ought to be against the law.
Obama and his party did much the same simply by ignoring the issue.
They stopped defending the victims of violence by illegal aliens, but I wasn’t a victim of violence by illegal aliens, so I said nothing…
Hey vato, gringo jus’ order the snotcho.
Then the president and both candidates strongly supported an unconstitutional role of government in our economy, giving failed banks a trillion dollars in an unprecedented move to blend government and business, plunging the US into full-fledged fascism.
Oh no, not full-fledged fascism again. It’s unprecedented.
A few conservatives bravely pointed to the role played by the Community Reinvestment Act, but then fell silent. (I received a lengthy commentary on the causes of the bank crisis, written by a “conservative” think tank. It failed to even mention the role of the CRA, a Democrat law that forced banks to lend $1 trillion to “underserved communities” notorious for bad credit, high unemployment and welfare entitlements.)
This mine would still be safe if not for that stupid dead canary.
No one in the highest positions is now following the Constitution, let alone showing common sense, so how can anyone contest what Obama is doing?
Yet somehow many do, even in this full-blown fascism that has, uh, fully blown around us.
We didn’t protest Wade v Roe, not enough of us protested amnesty and open borders, we allowed these to become non-issues during the campaign — for fear of the big, bad ‘bama — and now that the bailout is a fait accompli, few are protesting it any longer. And we wonder why the courts aren’t listening when someone protests that an illegal alien is president.
To look on the bright side, ‘President of the United States’ will certainly look good on his citizenship application, and would seem amply to satisfy the requirements for a work visa.
Then they abandoned me and there was no one left with the moral standing to defend my Constitutional right to a legitimate president.
We’re approaching a reading of zero Martins on the Niemöller scale of morality. ‘First they ignored the stuff I care about, and then they abandoned me to inferior people who will not secure my rights as I see them.’
First they came for the liberals, and I did not say anything because I was masturbating through a hole in my pants pocket. Then they came for me and it’s not fa-a-air!
But no, there are still a couple of microns left on the gauge. Apropos Niemöller, as we said earlier, they’ll find something worse than we can even imagine, and it will be like a cano not of vol, but of stupid — a stupidcano — and one erupting, betimes.
It was the choice of Americans to ignore the Constitution, and the powerful undercurrent to scrap the Constitution and to substitute it with the public whim du jour may well have too much momentum to stop at this point.
Seeing as it’s already a state of full-blown fascism, and all. Or, rather, it is literally full-blown fascism in absolute 100% true-life reality, and in fact it is so totally, utterly fascist in its scorchingly white-hot superfascistness that it doesn’t even have to quote-unquote ‘be’ fascist in order to be more ultra-fascist than any fascist thing ever in the history of fascism.
Also, we’ve sent an email to Ernst Nolte, because ‘the public whim du jour’ is without doubt the best capsule definition of fascism since the last time Jonah Goldberg farted in the bathtub.
So now, tell me the truth: were you really surprised that Donofrio failed?
He’s got us there.
And yet, God is still on His throne. Watch closely for His hand now.
Ooh, now look who’s being the Pope. I suppose God will be putting the mark of Ham upon Obama, if any of the OMG IT’S ALL TRUE.
Bravo, Senor Gavin, Bravo!
And here is where “conservatives” got egg on their faces.
Surely placenta, not egg.
To look on the bright side, ‘President of the United States’ will certainly look good on his citizenship application, and would seem amply to satisfy the requirements for a work visa.
LOL!
I get ‘public whim du jours’ faxed daily to the office along with Subway delivery forms. I don’t get exercised much by immigrant labor. Don Henry should be happy that Bush has chosen to pope over us at a time of spiritual crisis.
I thought Gawd was so mysterious that we couldn’t know his ways. Why watch now? What if B. O.’s election is Gawd’s will? What if Barry O.’s the “Pope of Hope?”
Tora, tora, tora!
(FYI y’all – the front page is back to showing 7 Dec as the most recent post… RSS (comments and posts) seems fine)
So typical of God.
After 8 years of Bush all I get to watch for is some hand.
Three cheers for the circular firing squad!
Not again…
Is it still happening? I just did what I did the last time to apparently fix it.
“Yes, OF COURSE, I know that every piece of evidence I present to support my conclusions is completely false and yeah, every quote has been completely debunked; still, I see no reason to accept ANY new information which might result in me having to admit an error.”
…I haven’t had any trouble with the front page…
Shorter Donald Hank:
First they came for the Jews, and because I was not a Jew, I said “Hey, the guy next door’s got hebes in his attic!”
Really, my favorite part of these things is how they take ‘undocumented’ and ‘illegal’ as synonyms, and ‘illegal’ to mean what it does because Mexicans are lawless, illiterate thugs. Charlie Crist could walk by with his family and people like Hank would suppress a quiet whimper as he tried to make for his car and lock the windows before that murderous, criminal toddler cut him up for her secret Catholic rituals.
Also, evidently it’s not so much wrong in general principle to want a pope but wrong to bend knee to one who legitimizes homo Mexabortions with secret numerological code. If only we had a judicial branch closer to the Judges of scripture – capable of, I don’t know, judging party platforms on their godliness and vetoing laws if they fail to adhere to the standard God encoded in our Constitution. I call this hypothetical superman (for a multi-person judicary is faggy and democratic, just like fascism!!1) a Pastortollah.
Since I somehow have missed the last few hours of Sadly, No!, I repeat this here:
Dear Sadlynauts,
I’ve got a wingnut friend who is totally into Michelle Malkin, and I’m trying to convince him that she’s batshit crazy.
So far I’ve got the “Kerry shot himself” crap and this article from America’s Shittiest Website, where she blames the economic collapse on Hispanics–I mean illegals.
Anyone got some primo Malkin?
“And here is where “conservatives” got egg on their faces. “
That’s not egg.
America lacks standing
Oh, that must be what they mean by “America, notwithstanding …”
There would be leading the charge to destroy the Frost family, first snooping around in their business – including making their home address and phone public – and later explicitly endorsing an increasingly insane mob raised against them, which seems to be what got her permanently removed from the rotation at Fnews.
Malkin isn’t just a bug-fuck right-winger, she’s also legitimately bug-fuck and willing to try and ruin the life of a small-business owner, a housewife, and their young children because one of them not being covered by SCHIP got them politically active. She doesn’t have the basic decency God granted the vulture; she would stop at nothing for the Party’s interests, or what she percieves as the Party’s interests. There isn’t an equivalent of that anywhere else on the spectrum; you have to imagine some dumb grunt shilling for Rumsfeld and Cindy Sheehan mailing his family death threats.
She’s a hard-right cretin, but she’s also a legitimately horrible human being in a way that eclipses even the usual for the vain, hypocritical empty suits in the Fox pantheon. I think if political exigencies suggested it, she would strangle a baby.
Just search “Michelle Malkin” + countertop.
Or “Michelle Malkin” + AP + photograph.
Or “Michelle Malkin” + mosque + bomb.
And the classic “Michelle Malkin” + interment.
Andrew — you’re attempting to reason with your friend? May not be possible. Certain personalities make decisions differently than others. Some people gather info from many sources and then chose what to believe by reasoning from those sources. Others look more to authority figures to tell them what they ought to believe. It isn’t always a left/right thing. Both personality types are found among liberals and conservatives.
If your friend is of the latter type trying to reason with him is a waste of your time. Find an authority figure who has rejected Malkin. Bill O’Reilly booted her from his show. If she isn’t good enough for Billo perhaps your friend will conclude she isn’t so hot after all.
noen–
back in the 90s, I listened to a lot of Rush Limbaugh.
I’m better now, so why can’t I hold out hope that he’ll get better, too?
Eep.
Finished reading noen’s message.
You make a good point, but he reads a lot of right-wingers, not just Malkin. I got into a heated debate about Ziegler’s polls, for example. If I have to prove that each and every one of these people is bad by using authority figures, I’ll be arguing forever.
Mr. Hank sounds as though he’s been drinking from the vault copy of my precious bodily fluids (I hope he’ll have the courtesy to return the Mason jar).
We didn’t protest Wade v Roe
Yes, if there is one thing our right wing did wrong over the last thirty-five years, it was ignoring our decriminalization of abortion. They should never have let that one go!
(“Wade v. Roe”? Must these people get everything backwards?)
Watch closely for His hand now.
And try to remember the card you chose originally.
Yes, the sleight-of-hand of The Great Trickster can fool anybody.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some of these posts are LITERALLY making me ROFL!!!!!!
“Pick a burning bush, any burning bush . . . “
Anyone got some primo Malkin?
You understand that your friend is a lost cause but you can always point out that she is so nuts Faux News fired her sorry ass
Every time certain people smile little angels get sick
Hit with a smiling face of delicate hate
Cudgeled with a hickory stick
The constitutional strength grade of manners
Only make matters central
Despite the opulent roundness
A cul-de-sac of point
(”Wade v. Roe”? Must these people get everything backwards?)
I was wondering if he did this on purpose and was going to ask if this was common with the anti-abortion crowd and if there was some significance to the order.
Is it still happening? I just did what I did the last time to apparently fix it.
It’s working fine on my puter but on my i-Phone it’s stuck on the Jackie Joyner Gingrich Cushman post.
I’ve got a wingnut friend who is totally into Michelle Malkin
Does he just have a thing for Asian chicks? Cause if that’s it, you just have to find him a replacement Asian chick to fall for. One who isn’t batshit evil. If you need any suggestions, let me know.
the public whim du jour
As opposed to, say, the whim of the week, or the whim of the year, or the passing ephemeral whim that lasts your whole feckin’ lifetime.
My colleague “Drunken New Zealand Tourist” will now lecture everyone about redundancy and pleonasm.
I’ve got a wingnut friend who is totally into Michelle Malkin, and I’m trying to convince him that she’s batshit crazy.
I think you are going about this the wrong way.
The seemingly obvious answer to curing Malkinites is to show them where Malkin has been an asshole. Or unhinged. Or vault copy stupid.
But this does not work. Malkinites simply do not accept that Malkin says or does things that are stand-alone FUBAR. Especially when the evidence comes from sources that Malkinites are conditioned to hate.
The answer I believe is to redefine the spectrum, and argue that Malkin is a CHINO, that is a Conservative Hero In Name Only. The real conservatives are actually people like the Renew America gang. Malkin is a pathetic excuse for a conservative – what kind of a patsy wants to be agreeing with libruls that Bush’s bail-out is a mess, and that Obama’s birth certificate is a non-issue? – Real America ™ is far better served by Don Hank and his shit-kicking cowboy buddies.
Start picking out stuff that shows Malkin is in fact the lefties’ Manchurian candidate on Planet Wingnut. Deal with the reality that Malkinites will more readily believe vault copy stupid conspiracies instead of plain facts.
Or, as I prefer to say, don’t fight stupid, exploit it.
Though, possibly, not her own.
Instead of Niemoller, I’m inclined to think of an inverse Gandhi:
First you fight them
Then you laugh at them
Then you ignore them (but they still keep blathering away.)
Niemoller’s alright, but I’ve always preferred the story about Khrushchev at the Twentieth Party congress.
While Nikita K. was detailing the crimes of Stalin (who had previously been ‘the life-giving force of socialism’, ‘the sun that shines in every worker’s heart’) one delegate passed up a note that read ‘when all this was going on, Comrade Khrushchev, what were you doing?’
K. read the note out aloud.
Then he paused, and then he said ‘will the party member who wrote this note please stand up and identify himself’.
And naturally no one stood up. And K said ‘that’s what I was doing’.
Donald Hank is a former language teacher, currently operating a “technical translation agency” out of his home in Wrightsville, PA…
(I translate instructions for sexual devices manufactured in the People’s Republic)
So many popes, so few hat to go around.
And how come we’ve got all the popes popping up stateside? I thought the montanes were supposed to keep them over there.
First they came for the inductive reasoning
But I wasn’t scairt none
Then they came for insitutional memory
But I was busily snuffling important other stuff
But when they came for my limbic system
It was tooo late !
Cuz I wuz jes crazy fascinated with that maudlin malken milk shakin delight
So who is running the project to translate the Constitution into LOLCat?
The cabal of compassionate conservative cats would like to invite the Constitution over for tea and mice
Don’t play with your ideals , bad kitty
Feeline Ovrlordz, I welcomes dem.
This post of DA’s got good reviews.
Hey vato, gringo jus’ order the snotcho.
I’d like to think I play a small part in the continued humor value of this past post.
snotchos *heeee*
First they came for the stupid, but I wasn’t stupid so I did nothing.
Then they came for the ignorant, but I wasn’t ignorant, so I did nothing.
Then they came for the wingnuts, but I wasn’t a wingnut, so i did nothing.
And then I said, “Hey, why is it so quiet and peaceful all of a sudden?”
Having dominated Naps
Feeling a joltin’ joementum of mandate
The hegemony of expanding Cats
With the cool calm of a lordly predator
Will now begin accepting principled Rats
And yet, God is still on His throne. Watch closely for His hand now.
And we ALL know what that means:
First he cites Niemoeller, then he says: “And yet, God is still on His throne. Watch closely for His hand now.”
Because watching for God’s hand worked out really well for the Jews.
(and this time I’ll put in the link…)
Yup, leave it to American Christians to hate the Pope…..ROFL…..conservatives got egg on their face? Yeah, and just about everything else in the rotting cupboard.
And yet, God is still on His throne. Watch closely for His hand now.
And God fills a royal flush on the river… AGAIN.
Wuzza-wuzzup, libs? It’s the Cool Coach once again with a SPREAD of BAD NEWS for you loony libs! Us McCaniacs were almost successful in getting the Super Supremes to shoot down the Obummer’s fake presidential victory, and if you know how Urban Meyer rolls, you better know that we’re gonna keep trying until we serve up a SPREAD of VICTORY! Obummer isn’t American, and is also connected to Bummer Blago. More and more of these connections will be revealed, and then ding dong dilly! McCaniac rides the tide to the White House with Super Sarah, the Power Palin! You haven’t won anything yet, loony libs!
Badoodle-boo-yeah! You just got served a SPREAD of TRUTH. Urban out.
Hello Coach Meyer. Tim Tebow wears Greg Hardy pajamas.
Nutt out.
Pere, nice one….ROFL.
Thus it wasn’t Bush who failed. It was American Christians.
By electing him. Duh. Anything else you need to point out, Captain Obvious?
an illegal alien is president.
is this the new wingnut screaming-point to justify blowing up some federal buildings? Obama is an illegal alien, thus anything the federal government does is illegitimate, and thus domestic terrorism is patriotic, just like the last time a Democrat was in office?
Time to stay out of government buildings in red states?
And naturally no one stood up. And K said ‘that’s what I was doing’.
In reality, of course, he was one of Stalin’s blood-soaked henchmen, “the butcher of Ukraine”.
Next, they’ll be coming for the VHS copies of Red Dawn.
Wuzza-wuzzup, Coach Meyer.
Erik W. – you are of course right. He later attempted to excuse himself by saying that if you contradicted the Greatest Georgian* Who Ever Lived, ‘there would be nothing left of you but a wet spot where you had been standing’.
NB – this refers to the other Georgia, not your US Georgia.
Nim, are you Nim W. from MI?
is god’s hand going to masturbate me through the hole in my pants now?
or is this an invitation to be a voyeur watching god masturbate him?
Urban out.
“T.H. PUTTIGRASS, OFF TO TAKE A DUMP!”
Really, it’s all I can think of upon reading Coach’s blatherings.
Time to stay out of government buildings in red states?
Probably a good policy anyway. You never know when a vicious ball that someone’s taken their eye off will attack.
Also, bear in mind that Khrushchev got where he did by playing a dimwitted, loyal patsy for some time. His securing complete long-term power after Stalin is kind of equivalent to Bachman taking over the GOP.
My favorite Khrushchev story is the one where after he had come to power, he invites his mom to visit him at the Kremlin. She comes and enjoys the sights. Then Khrushchev shows her his garage full of expensive foreign cars, and she says “That’s great, dear. But what will you do when the Bolsheviks find out?”
Dear Coach Meyer,
I would like to apply for a position with your program. I have suddenly found myself with an abundance of spare time and would love to discuss the opportunities
across the country from the PAC 10with your outstanding program.Sincerely,
Ty Willingham
Loneoak:
Umm…I am from MI, but I dunno nuthin bout no “W”
OH WAIT, wrong answer sorry…hold on….got the paper here…
OK here we go:
“No, but the lights are off at the Red Lobster.”
Did I get it right?
Javafacist-
Is there really such a project? If so, linky the link, por favor, because that shit is genius.
Ween in teh courses of hooman eventz eet becums teh nececceriez to be desovlings of teh bondz dat holdz too peoples togethers in da politiks….
Oh, wait, that is the Declaration, not the Constitution. Still brings the funny tho, IMHO….
These nachos are good! What did you put in them?
We, the peeples of U.S., can haz moar perfick union? And r bukkit bak plz, kthxbai!
Shorter Hank-Niemöller-Pere:
They came for the stupid, and now I’m locked up in this stupid pen.
And yet, God is still on His throne. Watch closely for His hand now.
See, here’s another thing I don’t get about god. If he’s on his freakin throne, just exactly how closely do I have to watch for his hand? Seems like it should be at least SOMEWHERE in the vicinity of the throne, right? I mean, we got the location of god, but we’re uncertain about the location of his hand? What the fuck, god is Manos?
It would at least have a little internal consistency if this idiot said “And yet, god is still on his throne. Keep an eye on the throne and you’ll see his hand any time now”.
mikey
Nim, I figured there was probably only one Nim from MI. I know a guy from Saline who changed his name to Nim and who would probably like S,N! Oh well.
They came for the users of piss-poor Holocaust analogies and I pointed out whiny wingnugget Donald Hank post-haste.
If God’s on his throne and he’s not washing his hands before touching anything else then eww.
“You just got served a SPREAD of TRUTH.”
And try it for cooking, too. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Blather.
As of 12:55PM EST on Dec. 10, 2008, yes.
Firefox 3.04 on XP SP2 on a Sprint T1.
I don’t recall if it was an issue last night at home on Safari on OS10.4 on RCN.
Barista! I’ll have a whim du jour!
Does God read Sports Illustrated while on the throne?
This post of DA’s got good reviews.
That one was indeed a S, N! milestone. The comparison of Malkin’s readers to “oonting, groonting Don Martin characters” was the cherry on top.
Cynthia can play her trumpet while on the throne. Can God match that?
Donald Hank is right on the money here, my looney liberal friends. For the mokst part, President Bush has been an, overall, decent President. With one MAJOR EXCEPTION!
Has has completely ignored the illegal invasion of our country, by not fulfilling his constitutional oath to protect our nation from foreign invasion, he has commited an impeachable offense. Despite all the good our President has done by protecting our nation from Islamic terrorism, he has neglected the defense of our southern border.
The people who say it is impossible to deport the illegal aliens are using a straw man arguement. While illegal aliens should certainly be deported if their whereabouts are known, it is far easier and much more effeicent, to force them out through attrition.
Take away their jobs by enforcing the law, including severe prison terms for employers who knowingly hire illegal aliens, then you will see a mass exodus of illegals “self-deporting” back to their countries of origin. If their are no job opportunities for them here, then, the overwhelming majority of illegal aliens, will leave voluntarily. And the few illegal aliens, who for whatever reason, don’t self-deport, will be far fewer in number, and thus easily, rounded up and deported by ICE Agents.
Add to this severe penalites on “sanctuary cities”, meaning any city, state or county government, that refuses to help federal authorities enforce immigration laws, will automatically lose all federal aid.
Couple that by securing the border with the National Guard, give them all the powers of the U.S. Border Patrol, then our nations, illegal immigration crisis will be effectively solved. All we need now, are some politicians with the backbone to enforce such a constitutionally mandated policy.
For the mokst part, President Bush has been an, overall, decent President. With one MAJOR EXCEPTION!
Blah blah brown people blah blah reconquista blah blah beaners blah blah Azatlan blah blah blah.
“Mokst” indeed.
President Bush has been an, overall, decent President. With one MAJOR EXCEPTION!
…the fact that he was never elected President?
Does God read Sports Illustrated while on the throne?
Bathing suit issue. Zeus would change himself into a bull, or swan, or golden shower(it’s not naughty, it’s culture, dammit), Jehovah sits on the crapper, immanentizing the eschaton.
I didn’t know Jehovah read Atrios.
Don’t run across the word ‘pleonasm’ much so it’s a real pleasure to see it in print. When I read the word, I always think of that other word, ‘neoplasm.’
Tumor reasons S,N! is my favoritest webby place.
Tumor reasons S,N! is my favoritest webby place.
Ha! That joke would fit right in a monologue by Johnny Carcinoma.
Zeus would change himself into a bull, or swan, or golden shower
Here, for instance, he seems to have transformed himself into a giant lustful dust bunny.
And then they came for the illegal immigrants, and I hired them for pennies on the dollar, but I said nothing.
And then they came for the legal immigrants, and I hired them for dimes on the dollar, but I said nothing.
And then they came for the asshole white nativist scum, and the handcuffs wouldn’t fit around my fat American wrists.
To the person that wanted a Malkin Fail? I suggest you get some Balloon Juice.
When I read the word, I always think of that other word, ‘neoplasm.’
Indeed.
How did S,N get mired in the past? Every time I check, it’s fucking Ground Hog Day, and December 7 happens again.
I didn’t know Jehovah read Atrios.
Only once he gets his temple erected.
Here, for instance, he seems to have transformed himself into a giant lustful dust bunny.
Housewifery was fraught with peril before the invention if the Swiffer.
A friend of mine actually suggested to me that we should deploy anit-personnel mines along the southern border. I gave the idea some thought, and I agree with him.
It not only would be constitutional, as one of the jobs of the federal govenment is to defend our nation from foreign invasion by any means necessary, it also would be quite effective at detering illegal immigration.
On the outskirts of the mine fields, warning signs in Spanish and English will be deployed, thus preventing any unfortunate accidents.
Many nations around the world deploy landmines along their borders, our ally South Korea has for years. America should too.
Is that still happening? When did you last notice it?
S,N! “Home” still goes straight to the Cushman post (alleging that there are only 136 comments there) when I log in on the PC what is running Firefox, but goes to the correct Home when I log in on the laptop running IE.
I blame the cookies.
I always blame the cookies.
Great stuff, Gav!
For me Safari is fine, but Firefox still goes to 12/7/08, with the Cushman post at the top. And it ain’t my cookies, ’cause I just dumped them.
Thanks!
Re: the Groundhog Day problem, I’m baffled and am emailing Seb right now.
“…we should deploy anit-personnel mines along the southern border. I gave the idea some thought, and I agree…”
Okay, as long as you, yourself perform the clean up. You want the death and destruction? You deal with the carnage.
And yes I know I shouldn’t feed the trolls but this one followed me home. Can I keep it? I need something to test out my wood chipper.
Er, I am Tyrone Willingham.
Speaking as a total ignoramus this is the kind of thing I see happening when DNS propagation gets mentioned.
My Windoze / Firefox combi sends me to the right place if I back button to the front page.
I’m afeared to use the ‘home’ link.
Many nations around the world deploy landmines along their borders
Brilliant. ‘Cause children read so well.
FOAD.
How about now? Is it fixed in Firefox?
Alright, DN. The gig is up!
Opera user report: no problemo!
It not only would be constitutional, as one of the jobs of the federal govenment is to defend our nation from foreign invasion by any means necessary, it also would be quite effective at detering illegal immigration.
Real right wingers don’t knowingly use a phrase widely associated with Malcolm X.
Seamonkey seems to work as well, although my symptoms go away when I thump WordPress.
In Firefox the Sadly, No! homepage is still stuck on the 7th for me.
It not only would be constitutional, as one of the jobs of the federal govenment is to defend our nation from foreign invasion by any means necessary, it also would be quite effective at detering illegal immigration.
Hey, kill everyone else in the entire world and our country would be perfectly safe from invasion! Wheeee!
Re: stale posts on the front page.
Reaching S,N from my home PC shows Dec 7 as the last update.
Reaching S,N from work (as part of my assigned job duties, of course), everything’s fine.
Use Firefox on both machines so….it’s got something to do with the ISP? A DNS issue somehow??
Firefox is still mired in the past, but since I am personally mired in the year 1282 during the episode of the Sicilian Vespers, I am in no position to complain.
Firefox (on Winders) shows December 10 for me, so there’s more to it than that.
I haven’t noticed anything at all on either FF/Vista or FF/Ubuntu.
Although I had that community of civit cats living in my laundry hamper for seven months before I noticed them, so that may not in and of itself be indicative of a lack of problems on this end.
And don’t even ask me about the voles living in my tumor…
mikey
“Oh the voles in the tumor and a silver spoon, civit cats living in the laundry room…”
And I hate to agree with Georgie boy on anything, but he is quite correct that it is un-Christian to want to kick the Messkins out of the country.
Lynx don’t like it.
Oh the voles in the tumor and a silver spoon
More lyrics plz.
I hear ya, Smut.
I’ve been hanging out with Justinian and Theodora. Man, that is my choice for all – time IT couple. They make brad and angelina look positively ascetic.
It’s rock n roll 24×7 in Constantinople circa 538. Just stay away from the fleas!
mikey
Sounds like you’ve read that tell-all book by Procopius, “Constantinople Babylon”.
C’mon, Mikey, get with the lingo. It’s gotta be Justindora (or maybe Theotinian) to really grab the target demo. You have to make your scroll really pop out at them when they’re in line at the vomitorium.
Hey Scotty:
You have to become head of the Cheetos Brigade before you qualify for Commander of the Scottish Contingent during the First Crusade.
That head position is called Orange Dust Bunny Pickup Sweeper. The bad news is that you’ve got loads of competition for it from the rest of the wingnuts/muttjobs*/whackjobs.
* intentional
Whereas Pravda’s prolapsed asshole gently drops to the ground and creeps about looking to have itself fufilled, I imagine CUM Dumpster’s attempts to leap straight towards the unprepared target’s crotch not unlike a misaimed Taser shot.
I missed that, but I did see an off broadway presentation of the musical version of Historia Arcana. I think it was called “Who’s Afraid of Theodora?”…
mikey
Not me. Promise.
Procopius was a dopius.
Anyone got some primo Malkin?
Honestly your friend, if ever willing to listen to reason, would not be reading Malkin. I would advise you to wait a few years to attempt to deprogram, I’ve noticed that most of the Malkineen follow her with such devotion is that she is attractive and validates wingnut thought- take the attractive out of the equation and what do you have? K-Lo. And you dont see many wingers hanging on HER every word.
Look at what has happened to Coulter, as she got older and more mantis on meth looking- her following has dried up, so to speak.
Next, they’ll be coming for the VHS copies of Red Dawn.
(heh), I’ve got it on Laserdisc™ and they’ll have to pry it out of my cold, dead Laserdisc™ player!!! Suckers!!
So what does this mean for people who actively attempt to socially and legally obscure the definition of ‘illegal immigrant’? I guess we’ll be throwing people who champ at the bit to throw out twenty million legal immigrants as worthless and criminal into minefields, yes?
The long and cherished jus solis tradition (that’s Latin, that faggy wop language we ivory-tower folks are always crowing on in, for ‘law of the soil’) which is likely responsible for you being an American at all is actively opposed to the idea of Americanness as a quality of blood. You couldn’t be a worse traitor, sir, if you had firebombed the White House.
Go and fuck yourself in painful obscurity.
Really? Because that is just silly.
I will defend the Coach until the end. What trolls take advice so readily? Do other trolls incorporate shtick from internet loons gone by? Truly the Coach can teach many a lesson to other trolls in customer responsiveness, though I miss “Shizzle pizzle frazoont!”
Mind you, it was a strategic effort designed to create a long-term GOP coalition including Mexican evangelicals and charismatics (n.b. that the Hispanic community is only 70% Catholic, so that isn’t as silly as it sounds) and draw Actual Libertarians (oppose covert and failed Republicans who the label usually applies to) back into the fold.
And his guest worker program would basically force a situation on the children of workers analogous to the one faced by gastarbeitere – create a class of American-born Americans without US citizenship.
But it did occasionally tangentially resemble the right thing.
For those of us who inhabit Actual America, whose overrepresented illegal immigrant population contributes heavily to the economy and the only people who are free of the migrant scourge live on about $5000 a year in the middle of nowhere, immigration serves a major purpose and the efforts by a succession of racist and fascist jagoffs to stanch the flow of immigrants has severely warped that purpose. A continuous supply of immigrants means that the American-born workforce is employed at increasingly skilled and financially rewarding work, while menial jobs paying close to the minimum wage would draw from a labor pool used to a standard of living significantly below that wage. The critical difference between then and now is that the Chinese sweatshop workers the US economy depends on one way or another live outside of the democratic regulatory umbra, and their children will be born into the same circumstances – if not worse.
And as the last bricks in the bottom third of the national labor pyramid gradually crumble, we become a polity which produces nothing, whose job market terminates at skilled manufacture (with day, contract, education-interferent, and other sub-rosa labor taking up an increasingly prominent place in its citizenry’s lives), and which lacks an assimilating generation to challenge the majority culture.
In the time between 1945 and 1975, we went from the hand-cranked automobile to the multi-stage rocket, from Amos ‘n’ Andy to All in the Family. In the time since, we’ve gone from hyper-right-wing stooges lying about Soviet capabilities and selling open Pentagon grift with lasers to hyper-right-wing stooges lying about Iraqi capabilities and selling open Pentagon grift with disposable satellites.
Unless you really want to live in a country whose primary contribution to history is encasing other people’s things in an increasingly shoddy and expensive layer of white plastic, liberalized immigration is not just a good idea but completely and utterly vital.
As the Malkins and Coulters grow old and ugly, won’t wingnuttia just replace them with younger versions?
Thanks to Bubba for pointing me to the archives. I suppose I can access the site that way for the time being, but what exactly is going on?
As the Malkins and Coulters grow old and ugly, won’t wingnuttia just replace them with younger versions?
there is no one on the bench.
Alec, you fool, you are naive in the extreme. First of all, ignoring the fact that the illegal aliens came into this country illegally, hence the word ILLEGAL, which you liberals seemingly have yet to comprehend, the illegal aliens do not help the economy.
Quite the contrary, they are the single most significant cause of unemployment in this nation. Take for example one of the liberal arguements, that Americans would never take jobs picking lettuce or washing dishes. Americans would indeed take those jobs, if the wages weren’t artifically depressed by illegal aliens. Illegal aliens, not knowing any better will take $2.00 an hour, for a job that should pay $7.50, thus allowing sleazy employers to artifically deprese wages. Increase the salary of those jobs to $7.50, and you’ll see how fast Americans, especially teenagers, will take them.
Secondly, illegal aliens cost the taxpayers millions of dollars in medical fees, forcing doctors to increase the cost in medical care. You want cheaper health care? Then you should oppose illegal immigration.
Third, illegal aliens cost the taxpayer millions in incarceration fees. Despite the fact that they shouldn’t even be in this country, illegal aliens commit a disproportionate number of both violent and non-violent crimes, compared to American citizens. In fact, over 40% of our federal prison population is made up of illegal aliens.
Now alec, I know your’re full of white guilt, and want to make amends for imagined wrongs, but, you’ve just been given the facts. Illegal aliens = shitty economy. Deal with it.
the illegal aliens do not help the economy.
WRONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
$1.757 trillion in annual spending
$651.511 billion in annual productivity
In the next five years, 50% of jobs created in America will require a high school degree or less. That’s less than 10% of the probable available working pool of Americans, which means that 40% of those jobs will go unfilled, unless you seriously want me to believe that a college graduate will accept cleaning toilets at minimum wage will pay off his student loans.
Suck it, Commanderguy.
Damn illegal aliens!
There oughta be a law.
and draw Actual Libertarians (oppose covert and failed Republicans who the label usually applies to) back into the fold.
There are Actual Libertarians? I use the more informal (and more descriptive) term “freeloader”.
(I’m talking economic Libertarians here, of course; a social libertarian would never be a Republican).
Quite the contrary, they are the single most significant cause of unemployment in this nation.
False.
Secondly, illegal aliens cost the taxpayers millions of dollars in medical fees, forcing doctors to increase the cost in medical care.
Also false. Old farts increase the cost of medical care, not illegal aliens. They pay more in sales taxes, etc. than they take in medicare care. They tend to be young and healthy.
Third, illegal aliens cost the taxpayer millions in incarceration fees.
False. That would be the War On (Some) Drugs.
In fact, over 40% of our federal prison population is made up of illegal aliens.
Laughably false. Whither ye be troll or idiot, either way you’re worthless.
Blah blah blabbity Blagojevich blablah blah blaah blah? Blah blah blahaha blah Blagojevich blahbitty BLAH!!!!11Blah blah blabbity Blagojevich blablah blah blaah blah? Blah blah blahaha blah Blagojevich blahbitty BLAH!!!!11Blah blah blabbity Blagojevich blablah blah blaah blah? Blah blah blahaha blah Blagojevich blahbitty BLAH!!!!11Blah blah blabbity Blagojevich blablah blah blaah blah? Blah blah blahaha blah Blagojevich blahbitty BLAH!!!!11Blah blah blabbity Blagojevich blablah blah blaah blah? Blah blah blahaha blah Blagojevich blahbitty BLAH!!!!11
Quite the contrary, they are the single most significant cause of unemployment in this nation.
I thought not having a job was single most significant cause of unemployment in this nation.
Blah blah blahaha blah Blagojevich blahbitty BLAH!!!!11
You forgot “flibberty-floo”.
BlagoGate flibberty-floo!!
Brad should’ve held a fundraiser to raise money for Obama’s Senate seat.
“Senator Brad Reed”. Does have a nice ring to it, admittedly.
Unfortunately, Jesse Jackson, Jr. has deeper pockets than Teh SadlyNaughts.
Tsk tsk, what a shame.
“For the last three years, Democratic leaders cheered GOP ethics woes. Dean accused Republicans of making ‘their culture of corruption the norm.’ Pelosi touted cleanliness as a liberal virtue. But with the eye-popping pay-for-play and bribery case against Democratic Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich topping a year of nationwide Democratic scandals, the corruption chickens are coming home to roost.”
Bok bok!!
Cynthia can play her trumpet while on the throne
I had a pantsuit just like that round about that time.
I love that clip. All the colored kids are up and groovin’ and dancing while all the whitey-white children, who apparently are made of stone, sit there like statues with their hands folded in their laps. Also: Ed McMahon!!??!!
A, you’ve previously demonstrated you have little to no concept of what the phrase ‘illegal immigrant’ actually means. The illegal immigrant population is somewhere between 1.5 and 5 million; your favored figure (between 20 and 40) is respectively aliens and noncitizens as a whole. There’s nothing illegal about how the vast majority of immigrants get into this country, and as we’ve discussed before, the concept of ‘illegal immigration’ was introduced in the 20s.
And B, yes they do: the rate of remittance is dwarfed by the payroll tax rate (which, being levied on the business directly, is a function of labor rather than a function of income), let alone the general contribution to the economy produced by the only major force of unskilled labor in the country.
Really? ‘Cuz the current unemployment rate (measuring ONLY the people RECENTLY laid off – the jobless rate generally is around twice it) suggests a number of unemployed laborers somewhere around 10 million. Removing every legal immigrant from the country – even if we assume they all occupy jobs and those jobs would immediately be filled by American workers – would still result in an unacceptably high unemployment and jobless rate (around 3.8% and about 7%, respectively). And those are not reasonable assumptions.
This is a ridiculous argument and you’re insane to make it. Picking lettuce is a menial job which is undercompetitive with always-plentiful service-sector horse shit; there’s a reason that, until the 40s or 50s or so, it was a major element of US policy to secure the southern border to ensure it was just Mexicans crossing to engage in seasonal labor. Seasonal harvesting is one of many economic behaviors a fully free workforce will never fill. If you don’t believe me, by all means take a crack at it yourself.
Oh, those simple savages. When will they learn that they can ask their employers for more without fearing summary deportment?
Hah! Yeah, migrant fruit-picking could be made economically profitable for $7.50 an hour part-time with a workforce expected to graduate out of it in a short time. The people that exploit illegal immigration (and, you know, legal immigration) depend on a workforce which is neither skilled nor has any driving economic motive to become skilled. Put orchards in the hands of high-school students and two of our four largest states would wither on the vine. Of course, I guess that would have as a beneficial side effect getting rid of all the jay-e-double-yews, right?
You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. I am fucking serious, I can give you specific numbers. You’re not just wrong, you’re as wrong as you could possibly be. The social costs of illegal immigrants are a direct product of the abusive practices of the insurance industry and even with the inflationary effect that industrial-scale fiscal abuse has on prices (blaming doctors is a neat trick, but I guess the guys who go to school for six years, set prices and hobnob with state bureaucrats, and take down seven figures are blameless innocents whereas people who take twelve years and a goddamn oath to squeak into six are exploitative wreckers) illegal immigrants are minuscule. This is a stupid, stupid talking point, and believing it is like believing that Japanese cars can’t possibly run on American roads because Japanese people can’t even pronounce the letter ‘r’. I can see why it would be useful to you, but it’s wrong and if you persist in it someone is gonna humiliate you. Keep it up and it’ll be me, hokay?
Nice trick: there’s no possible reason besides their inherent savagery that could be, and also there’s no such thing as a legal immigrant. (That statistic is an exaggerated version of the number of aliens incarcerated generally – again, there are about 5 legal immigrants for every one illegal, but that doesn’t really matter to you on account of you think they’re illegal because Mexicans are lawless savages.)
Oh yeah, because it’s all about race. After all, the historical illegal population of America has been 155% Mexican and immigration is a completely recent phenomenon with no aspects outside of race-guilt.
You want to talk race, go back to Stormfront circle-jerking. I’m talking plain and simple economics; you’re fumbling desperately for a reason to piss yourself over Hispanic infants.
You’ve been given the facts, sir, both in terms of specific numbers and the predominant economic theory on immigration. You are so desperate to believe that the Mexicans that freak you out are a sudden crisis which we liberals are conniving to impose on your ideal white dreamworld that you contrive a world in which $5.50 an hour for seasonal migrant labor is competitive – for students! – with $7-10 part-time service positions; you treat ‘illegal’ at the same time like an ethnic slur and a clinical term (pro tip: using one kind of precludes the other, dipshit); and you honestly believe that the 100+ million immigrants that built the vast majority of the current 300-million US population waited politely to fill out forms, find employers, and carefully gather prior records in the middle of the famines, revolutions, and political repression that drove many of them out.
This goes beyond blinders; you’ve got ’em on so hard they’re cutting off the circulation to your fucking brain. As the great-great grandchild of draft dodgers and migrant laborers and a proud child of the least racialized country on earth, allow me to reiterate that you are a traitor to your house, family, race, and nation, and forget about insulting the brave women and men risking their lives to keep our economy afloat and give their children a shot at the American life – you don’t deserve to rim them clean.
Damned badgers and their enlarged scrotums!
http://www.kuniyoshiproject.com/raccoon%20Dogs%20(R209).htm
Ah, goober. Were you the one the Democrat Party left behind? I hadn’t realized it was for having nasty coloreds in.
On the field of pleasure [Theodora] was never defeated. Often she would go picnicking with ten young men or more, in the flower of their strength and virility, and dallied with them all, the whole night through. When they wearied of the sport, she would approach their servants, perhaps thirty in number, and fight a duel with each of these; and even thus found no allayment of her craving. Once, visiting the house of an illustrious gentleman, they say she mounted the projecting corner of her dining couch, pulled up the front of her dress, without a blush, and thus carelessly showed her wantonness. And though she flung wide three gates to the ambassadors of Cupid, she lamented that nature had not similarly unlocked the straits of her bosom, that she might there have contrived a further welcome to his emissaries.
…
That Justinian was not a man, but a demon, as I have said, in human form, one might prove by considering the enormity of the evils he brought upon mankind. For in the monstrousness of his actions the power of a fiend is manifest. Certainly an accurate reckoning of all those whom he destroyed would be impossible, I think, for anyone but God to make. Sooner could one number, I fancy, the sands of the sea than the men this Emperor murdered. Examining the countries that he made desolate of inhabitants, I would say he slew a trillion people.
Theodora was the whim du jour.
Sadly, the last time I showed my wantoness it did not win a prize despite being best in show on past occasions. I may have too careless.
Also, allow me to make a humble suggestion – when you have a party devoted completely to a mixture of hero-worshipping lawlessness and obsessive indulgence of various reactionary demons, the following is not exactly surprising:
Sen. Ted Stevens, long-term, embarassingly old senator notoriously corrupt and under a pall of guilt – which, owing to the visibility and incumbency advantages of the Senate, are completely visible to every voter: just barely defeated in an R-14 state during the second election of a huge leftward swing.
Rep. William Jefferson, short-term, cordially-received representative racially and personally far closer to his district than his opponent; with far less local scandal visibility and much less severe charges, defeated by a larger margin in a D-28 district during the same election.
‘Barack HUSSEIN Obama’ going from a sneering slur to a shell-shocked whine: priceless.
‘Barack HUSSEIN Obama’ going from a sneering slur to a shell-shocked whine: priceless.
And a fine, vintage whine it is indeed.
ps: that was Djur as Procopius, not me. I wish I had thought of it.
The Secret Histories might just be the most hilarious historical oddity ever. To this day, we have no clue what would inspire a fairly even-tempered historian to lay into his own patrons like that. The best we can say is that it was a sort of crude proto-troll.
Which, incidentally, people have said of The Prince, although Machiavelli’s life-long service and commitment to a republic which had recently been toppled by a brutal interloper with crusading/pan-Italic pretensions strongly suggests it is specifically a concern troll. Maybe history’s most successful, too.
A great book, but obviously the guy couldn’t keep a secret.
Oh come now – I think there’s enough blame for everybody here!
First they came for the logical fallacies – but I said “NO U!”
Then they came for the selective memory – but I said … uh … well, I can’t remember, but I bet it was AWESOME.
You’ll also see a lot more US corporations moving offshore at warp-speed … & many that can’t afford to leave going belly-up. Payroll is the prime expense of businesses, & America is competing with nations that pay disgustingly low wages. You’ve got two options: pressure other nations to increase wages or accept a drop in your own – opting for “none of the above” is a ticket to insolvency. Face it – your POV has fuck-all to do with the rule of law, the economy or the phases of the bloody moon for that matter.
Wrap your xenophobia in as many dollar-signs as you like – they just don’t deodorize very well.
Which explains the last 5 years of economic boom-times in America like a charm, assface.
Those immigrants are propping up the small-business sector of the US economy right now, even while its Wall Street sector sucks the rest of it dry – yeah, enacting a “Night Of The Long Knives” against ALL businesses that hire undocumented workers is JUST the ticket right now. Reduce a cheap workforce during a recession with a dangerously weak economy – what could possibly go wrong?
The papers came in: your divorce from reality is official.
Add to this severe penalites on “sanctuary cities”, meaning any city, state or county government
Shrinking federal government to the point where it can be drowned in a bathtub! STAAAAAAAATES RIIIIIIIGHTS!
alec and jim: thanks, guys. I work with a lot of Mexican, Salvadoran, etc. people and they are — like my own immigrant grandparents (Daddy’s side) and great-times-10-grandparents (Mom’s) — the salt of the earth, exactly the kind of hardworking, honest, smart, kindhearted, determined people anybody would want in their country. Well, anybody with a heart and a brain, anyway.
The Secret Histories might just be the most hilarious historical oddity ever.
It will not seem so odd after the coming wave of Bush-admin memoirs.
the salt of the earth, exactly the kind of hardworking, honest, smart, kindhearted, determined people anybody would want in their country. Well, anybody with a heart and a brain, anyway.
Tehanu: My sister-in-law, who teaches adult literacy classes in Nashville, says this exact same thing, nearly word for word.
My uncle came over here illegally in the Reagan amnesty period, and he might just be the only man who is neither stupid nor evil on that side of the family.
Seriously, it takes something Mr. Commander of the Nativist Doughty Christian Platoon could never dream of mustering to cross a fucking border and live in a foreign country, let alone one with the kind of complete contempt for you that America has demonstrated time and time again for Mexicans. You convince them to think twice, congrats: you’ve successfully fucked up what might just be history’s most forgiving and easy sell. And if you really believe being white by default is going to make up for that, again, I invite you to move to Serbia and leave us actual Americans alone.
Alec, I hate to say it to you, but your uncle is a criminal. If I knew a way, I would report your uncle to ICE, and he’d be deported, and you my naive liberal friend, would possibly be thrown in prison, for aiding and abetting a criminal.
You uncle, just like every other alien, leaching off the American economy, an economy for Americans, should be deported back to his country of origin. You liberals never cease to amaze me, with you complete lack of respect for the law.
The Commander of the Scottish Whatever was Inspector Javert?
Commander of the Scrotish Incontinent during the Fist Cascade
Long flowing battle tutu reenactment for the ass capades
Tireless warrior of blame filled scream snivel shock
His gleaming tin soul soars like a rock
Hey, speaking of The Hand of the Almighty… (NSFW due to language – this is John R. Butler’s immortal gospel song, “The Hand of the Almighty” with minimal video, on YouTube. Oh, and it’s not long. Have I mentioned that I tend to dislike blind links?)