The End Of Confederate Yankee As We Know It

It wouldn’t be fair to leave it unremarked that Bob “Confederate Yankee” Owens — fact-checkerer, debunker and rebunker, and scourge of the liberal MSM — has written what appears to be a post calling for the investigation of official misconduct not allegedly committed by a political enemy, i.e. a ‘liberal,’ a set of ‘liberals,’ or ‘liberalism.’

That is, even amidst this recent crime wave of liberals liberalling and unrepentant terrorists being elected to the White House, not to mention the impending dawn of the Glorious Socialist Revolution and all the statues of Mumia that are slated to be cast out of melted gunmetal and multi-cartridge rifle magazines,* he seems in this case to be applying universal standards to things. Because no, check this out:

Friendly Fire Coverup Comes to Light

Read this article and watch the 12 minutes of edited video. There is some circumstantial evidence here that two U.S. soldiers in an apparent overwatch position were mistaken for insurgents in Ramadi in 2006, and were then killed by a single shot from the main gun of a U.S Abrams tank. Audio in the clip also seems to indicate that the coaxial 7.62 machine gun on the tank also opened up on the position following the discharge of the main gun.

Friendly fire occurs in every war, even though our soldiers try very hard to minimize the risk.

Here, though, it seems that a coverup began to form within 30 minutes of the incident, before the second soldier who died was even evacuated. As his sergeant blamed the incoming fire on a tank in a radio call, he was immediately told by a superior who was not on the scene that the deaths were the result of enemy mortar fire.

That someone then ordered the rushed shredding all documentation related to the men further reeks of a coverup. I suspect we have some Captains, Majors, and perhaps even a Colonel or higher who are involved.

The Army needs to get to the bottom of this, and fast.

A new leaf? If so, this new suspicion toward the military comes at a fortunate time. As it happens, today would have brought embarrassment like no other day (which is to say, at least more than none) to our tireless identifier of AP ‘fauxtography,’ our critic of alleged Associated Press photos of so-called ‘dead’ Middle Eastern alleged children, who can not be independently proven to have been killed exactly as shown, and are therefore, like Schroedinger’s cat, neither dead nor alive, forever.

Yes, we wandered those shores with him, but today we find that he must walk alone.


* Should the US government ever confiscate guns for the purpose of statuary production, we believe the statue should be a monumental rendering of Cold Dead Hands.

 

Comments: 73

 
 
 

Cover up? You mean like when Pat Tillman was shot? What did he say back then?

 
 

What have you monsters done to Confederate Yankee?!?!?!?

 
 

the statue should be a monumental rendering of Cold Dead Hands.
Awesome idea. Here’s myfirst draft.

 
 

Clearly, Obama will do anything to keep his wife’s “Whitey” album from coming to light, even blowing up US American soldiers in a country miles away from the API.

Why CY has not yet come to this conclusion is beyond me. Perhaps George Soros got to him? Wheels within wheels, my friends….

 
 

I would like some Blackazoid statuary already.

 
 

What about a government scheme where you trade in your filthy AK-47s for wonderful shiny new BBQ grills?

 
 

That someone then ordered the rushed shredding all documentation related to the men further reeks of a coverup. I suspect we have some Captains, Majors, and perhaps even a Colonel or higher who are involved.

Which used to make them “patriots” in CY’s world.
.

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

He’s just warming up to be in full “anti-government” mode by the time Jan 20 rolls around.

All the wingnuts are slowing down their brains (if that can be imagined), preparing them for doing 180’s. Gov’t wiretapping will be bad. Habeus Corpus will be a basic right rivalling Saint Second Admendment. And so on.

 
 

Gosh, the military covers up a blue-on-blue incident in an unpopular war?

Huh. Imagine that.

Must be Obama’s fault.

 
 

A new leaf?

Not if his commenters can help it.

 
 

I’d melt the guns down and make a giant statue of a stick of butter.

 
 

Even now, Claes Oldenburg is sketching designs for a giant memorial statue in the form of a toppled BBQ grill. Provisional title is “Monumental Blunder”.
In the meantime, this charcoal grill is several kinds of awesome.

 
 

He’s just warming up to be in full “anti-government” mode by the time Jan 20 rolls around.

The genius of the wingnut “mind” is that since conservatives are anti-government, when conservatives run the government the government is simultaneously the government and not the government.

A =/= A = A

In this formulation, conservative government has nothing to do with governance, it has only to do with spiting “the government” which is by definition liberal.

 
 

I would melt the butter down and make a giant statue of a gun. Except the last time I did that, it annoyed the Frau Doktorin and she banned me from the kitchen for two weeks.

 
 

the statue should be a monumental rendering of Cold Dead Hands.

I gladly volunteer my ex for modelling purposes.

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

> The genius of the wingnut “mind” is that since conservatives are anti-government, when conservatives run the government the government is simultaneously the government and not the government.

It seems the wingnuts/nutjobs/whackjobs are only happy when they are in Bizarro World.

 
 

The genius of the wingnut “mind” is that since conservatives are anti-government, when conservatives run the government the government is simultaneously the government and not the government.

A message which they scream every day from all corners of the mainstream media, which of course is run by liberals who never allow conservatives to get their message out.

P.S.:

Friendly fire occurs in every war, even though our soldiers try very hard to minimize the risk.

Other countries’ soldiers, however, think that killing their own comrades is the best way to win a war. This is why we are the bestest and strongestest of all countries.

 
 

Shoe, meet Other Foot. Other Foot, I’d like you to meet my good buddy Shoe.

 
 

Instaputz (the actual putz, not the site mocking the putz) has already starting marketing the ‘dissent is patriotic NOW’ meme.

Hasn’t been for eight years, but now? Now REAL patriots speak out against gummental oppression. Sheesh.

 
 

all the statues of Mumia that are slated to be cast out of melted gunmetal and multi-cartridge rifle magazines,

Clearly, you meant Mom-Ra.

 
 

CY from the comments, extra comedy gold:

.

That;s my gut, folks, and I am on occasionally wrong on this sort of stuff, but my track record is that I’m more often than not right.

Do I REALLY need to elaborate?

 
 

Clearly, you meant Mom-Ra.

Do you mean Mumm-Ra?

Because that is really fucking weird. I just commented in the previous thread with a Thundercats joke.

 
 

In this formulation, conservative government has nothing to do with governance, it has only to do with spiting “the government” which is by definition liberal.

OW!

My neck!

 
 

Why bob owens hate the military and this country? Doesn’t he know what claims like this do to morale?

 
 

My neck!

Go get an Islamo-gaybortion and use some of them stem cells to fix yer neck. Always makes me feel better.

 
 

Why bob owens hate the military and this country?

It’s perfectly okay to hate America when the President’s a Democrat.

 
 

That;s my gut, folks, and I am on occasionally wrong on this sort of stuff, but my track record is that I’m more often than not right.

Actually, his gut is what tells him that his track record is more often then not right, too. It’s self-supporting, like a geodesic pretzel of wingnut logic.

 
 

That;s my gut, folks, and I am on occasionally wrong on this sort of stuff, but my track record is that I’m more often than not right.

Sadly*, No!

*or not

 
 

People who live in self-supporting geodesic pretzels shouldn’t throw scones.

 
 

From my (admittedly superficial) study of American military history, I got the impression that friendly fire was a feature rather than a bug. All that running around screaming at everyone, whaddaya expect?

 
 

People who program in C++ shouldn’t throw pointers.

 
 

All that running around screaming at everyone

Rather like what I’d envision a NRO cruise as being like.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

My theory is that Smut Clyde has his own private HOV lane for teh internets.

 
 

People who give in as spouses shouldn’t grow bones.

 
 

You guys! You guys! I have the best idea: a statue of two cold, dead hands…

…made out of butter!

And people who program in C shouldn’t throw exceptions.

 
 

People who live in gas trousers shouldn’t row phones.

 
 

Smut Clyde is making my ribs hurt.

 
 

You’ve ALL got the sillies tonight, it seems.

 
 

People who seive in crass blouses shouldn’t blow crones.

 
RUGGED IN MONTANA
 

Should the US government ever confiscate guns for the purpose of statuary production, we believe the statue should be a monumental rendering of Cold Dead Hands.

The geys will get my heterosexuality from me when they pry my hands off of my cold, dead privates. That’s in the Bill of Rites.

 
 

Cats who are past mousers shouldn’t stow clones.

 
 

It is a wise man who, when digging a miserable little hole from which to try to survive the night, arranges to have the minimal number of heavy weapons inside the perimeter directly BEHIND him.

Things get a little warm and Ma Deuce and the mortar pits start throwing ordnance all over hell’s half acre, you’d really much prefer not to be on the outgoing flight path.

My advice? Cozy up next to the M60 anchoring one end of the line or the other. Things might be a little thin if you start to get overrun, but at least then you’re likely to get killed by the enemy instead of those idiot redheads from kentucky. Yeah, you know the ones…

mikey

 
RUGGED IN MONTANA
 

but at least then you’re likely to get killed by the enemy instead of those idiot redheads from kentucky. Yeah, you know the ones…

The ones who ain’t natural redheads?

 
 

And people who program in C shouldn’t throw exceptions.

Don’t be so definitive in your pronouncements: there’s always an exception.

 
 

No RUGGED, let me fix that for you.

The ones who ain’t natural redheads?

 
 

Whose idea was it to start an Artificial Rocks Factory?
Who cast the first stone?

 
 

>all the statues of Mumia that are slated to be cast
>out of melted gunmetal and multi-cartridge rifle magazines

That is about the funniest thing I’ve read all week.

 
 

People who stone houses shouldn’t throw glass.

Or something.

 
 

People who live in glass houses better not be shy nor overly modest.

Whether they throw shit or not…

mikey

 
 

Stoners with mouses shouldn’t kiss ass.

 
 

People shouldn’t live in glass houses. It’s a stupid idea.

 
 

People shouldn’t live in glass houses. It’s a stupid idea.

Yeah, well, tell it to Billy Joel.

 
 

Well so what the hell am I supposed to do with all these brass blouses I owned?

 
 

People who sieve in crass blouses shouldn’t blow crones.
UR DOIN IT RONG
The quality of mercy is not strained.

 
 

The Egyptians once tried making statues of Mummia, but it smelt funny and tended to melt in the sun, so they used it to embalm bodies instead.

 
 

She’s a glaaaaas house!
She’s mighty mighty
Just lettin’ it all hang out

The neighbors are none too pleased but the kids seem to enjoy it.

 
 

Did someone say self-supporting geodesic pretzel?

That’s actually tensegrity at work there, rather than geodesics.

Pardon the Fullerquibble.

 
 

….we believe the statue should be a monumental rendering of Cold Dead Hands.

Speaking of which, is it too soon to dig him up ? He did say we could.

 
 

Purple Hookahs Scousers. Shunt Blows Homes.

 
 

If you guys want real comedy wingnut gold posing at reasoned commentary, check out the Baton Rouge Business Report. The publisher, one Rolfe McCollister, is George Bush lite; bron into money, never had to work, but instead uses his moneyed position to inform like-minded wingnuts of the business climate in his moribund city.

His latest execrable scribbling notes that Obama should clean up the mess he made by getting elected…and that joker’s got six months to do it! And besides that, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton had better shut up, because now a black man is president, so obviously racism doesn’t exist anymore.

http://businessreport.com/news/2008/nov/17/buck-stops-obama-now/

Comedy gold!

 
 

That someone then ordered the rushed shredding all documentation related to the men further reeks of a coverup. I suspect we have some Captains, Majors, and perhaps even a Colonel or higher who are involved.

The Army needs to get to the bottom of this, and fast.

Just like they did with everyone else, then? So, like, a million years from now?

Yeah, and Abu Gahrib was a few bad apples, Pat Tillman’s death was, well, whatever they call it, and we’re AWESOME.

Yeah, it doesn’t remind me of anything….

 
 

Why am I thinking about a giant gun mettal gray plowshear?

 
 

What jhc said.
Though I’m going to spell it ‘ploughshare’, because I win more points at Scrabble that way.

 
 

This was on show at the British Museum a couple of years ago.

 
 

People who live in glass houses better not be shy nor overly modest.

Whether they throw shit or not…

The idea of people in glass houses throwing shit presents an interesting, if not terribly pleasant, mental image.

 
 

…and are therefore, like Schroedinger’s cat, neither dead nor alive, forever.

Are you sure it isn’t more of a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead sort of thing?

 
 

Yeah, the timing around CY’s magical shift of perspective sure has a pong of fish alrighty … & his fanboyz seem less than enthused.

If at first you don’t fail, get it wrong harder.
A turd in the hand is worth poo in the tush.
When in doubt, hesitate.

 
 

Come friendly fire, fall on Slough!
It isn’t fit for humans now,
There isn’t grass to share a plough.

 
 

Leonard Bernstein!

 
 

This land has lots of trousers
This land has lots of Mausers
and kitty cats to eat them when the sun goes down

 
 

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t.

 
 

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