Puerile Pseudo-Pundit Pisses, Poops Pants
wear
America’s Worst Former Law Firm Associate™, formerly known as America’s Worst Law Student™ and otherwise known as Ben Shapiro, has lots of time on his hands now, so he has very graciously taken the time to give us the word on why Barack Obama was elected:
The Great Election of 2008 is over. Barack Obama is the 44th President of the United States. Now is the time to ask what this election was about.
Here’s what this election was (set ital)[sic] not (end ital)[sic] about: Barack Obama.
What, then, was the election actually about? Basement mold? Late-onset acne? Boner pills? Cheeto breath? Apparently, yes.
This election was about one thing and one thing only: Americans’ puerile need for unity through self-congratulatory, cathartic membership in a broad, transformative political movement.
Ben uses this elitist, arugula-infused vocabulary to convince you that, although it’s only been a couple of years since his mom caught him wanking in the upstairs bathroom, he’s not himself “puerile” but “manly, mature and wise.” (Of course, don’t ask Ben to explain why this “need for unity” doesn’t just as accurately describe all those wingnuts who are card-carrying members of the Holy and Blessed Church of Saint Ronnie, Champion of Free Markets, Comforter of the Wealthy, Vanquisher of Commie Rat Bastards, and Defender of Unborn Zygotes.)
[Obama] embodied the need of the American public for unity by hearkening back to the ultimate unifying feature of American life: third-grade slogans. He spouted Hope and Change. He told us, “We’re All Americans.” He told us, “Yes, We Can.”
Although Ben obviously has a vivid memory of his relatively recent experiences in the third grade, he appears to have forgotten, say, the third-grade slogans of St. Ronnie and St. Nancy: “Morning in America,” “Just Say No,” “Thousand Points of Light,” “City on a Hill,” “Bring Down This Wall,” and “Facts Are Stupid Things.”
[Obama] spouted Hope and Change. He told us, “We’re All Americans.” He told us, “Yes, We Can.” From any other politician, it would be ridiculous drivel. From a black candidate, it was inspiring.
I mean, we were expecting him to say “We Is All Americans” or “Yes, We Be” or “A Fried Chicken in Every Bucket and A Pimped-Out Hummer For Every Crib.”
They implied that if we voted against him, we were engaging in racial hatred; some supporters even implied America would undergo a race war if he lost. That’s the last thing we wanted.
Ben seems to have slipped off message here. Just a few paragraphs before we were voting for Barack because of a “puerile need” for unity. Now, it seems we’re voting for Obama to avoid seeing our white women raped in our own front yards by big black bucks with the sweat on their naked backs glistening in the light of our flame-engulfed homes. You just knew that, sooner or later, Ben was going to have to go there, didn’t you?
This election was about one thing and one thing only: Americans’ puerile need for unity through self-congratulatory, cathartic membership in a broad, transformative political movement.
Yea, cuz nothing says “immature” like intelligent discussion and resolution of differences.
Shorter Ben Shapiro: I just don’t get why that Negro is so popular and I’m not.
So, I didn’t vote for Obama because he better articulated and explained his plans for America (compare and contrast websites of major candidates) but rather because I was afraid of a race war and I wanted to feel a kumbaya moment. Good to know. Thanks Ben. I was under the impression I was an adult and actually had made a considered and logical choice. How wrong I was!
I can haz cheezburger nai?
We didn’t *want* a race war, but it was being *forced* upon us. Damn those uppity negroes!
Aah. This only gets sweeter. I think that’s milk I’m laughing through my nose.
I think “Thousand Pointless Whites” was Bush Sr. trying to launch his version of ‘compassionate conservatism,’ called the “kindler, gentler society,” which was of course angrily mocked by TruConservatives when Bush Sr. lost.
But then, TruConservatives are an odd lot, given that they praise any successful right wing hack as a TruConservative, and then when his policies logically create a sh*tty life for the constituents and they lose popularity or elections, the same people and policies are no longer TruConservative.
Bush Jr. was the living reincarnation of Ronald Reagan from 2001 to 2004 for the right wing, and they praised him unceasingly as such. Then when his numbers hit the toilet for minor setbacks totally not his fault (drowned old peoples’ corpses rotting in the streets of New Orleans ’cause he gave FEMA to a failed judge of a horse association), and Republicans got their a**es handed to them in 2006, suddenly Mr. Glorious Sun King Ronald Reagan Earth Liberator Unitarded Executrix And President Forever George W. Bush Jr. was no longer a TruConservativ.
some supporters even implied America would undergo a race war if he lost.
Some supporters of who said that?
“some supporters even implied America would undergo a race war if he lost”
Uh, Ben, I think you’ll find the people predicting a race war were not Obama supporters.
Uh, Ben, I think you’ll find the people predicting a race war were not Obama supporters.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. We have to work him into reality gently.
Note: The people who tell us that Just Because America Voted for Obama Doesn’t Mean That America Actually Wants Obama to Do Anything are the natural descendents of the people who have insisted for 45 years that If You Listened To It On the Radio, Nixon Won That Debate With Kennedy.
Shorter Benny the Brow: Waaaaah! Affirmative Action!
Wow, that’s some nice writing, Ben. Where’d ya steal it from?
we we’re
As editor of the prestigious API (Michelle Obama tape coming Real Soon Now), I would like to throw all dirt onto your typographical error.
Yeah! What a chump, that Obama.
some supporters even implied America would undergo a race war if he lost.
Hey, didn’t “The Truth” predict that?
Wow. Didn’t know he was a secret Obama supporter.
I hereby vote we just call him “Pravda” from now on. After all, like the Soviet version, he has none and just follows the Party line.
The married (so don’t call him Virgin) Ben Shapiro is exactly right. Why I recall with quite fond memories this elecetion season. No one was talking about Barack Obama. Here’s some proof:
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/10205.html
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/07/29/obama.referendum/index.html
http://www.voanews.com/english/archive/2008-08/2008-08-28-voa61.cfm?CFID=61597869&CFTOKEN=96372892
Oh wait, those are LIE-beral revisionist history sites. Let’s try that again:
It has been argued that this election is a referendum on Obama, and I largely concur.
Unconventional in many ways, this campaign has become a referendum on Obama’s readiness to serve rather than a judgment on McCain after eight years of GOP rule under Bush.
Every voter asks himself one question before he or she casts a ballot: Do I want to vote for Obama? His uniqueness, charisma and assertive program have so dominated the dialogue that the election is now a referendum on Obama.
Or we could look here and see how many times Obama’s name appears in Ben’s work (seventeen titles this year) versus say McCain (3) or Iraq (1) or “economy” (zero).
Virgin Ben just needs to get laid. And not by a relative (the weapon of choice for welfare wingnuts, from what I hear)
Ben is actually being honest. He cannot imagine how one can select a candidate based on any other factor besides total, absolute existential fear of everything. Especially darkies.
hereby vote we just call him “Pravda” from now on.
That’s a keeper.
I want to be Ben’s first, I am sure if I brushed by him at just the right angle in the bathroom during the next CPAC, it would do the job.
Virgin Ben just needs to get laid.
And just immediately after I pointed out that he’s now “The married (so don’t call him Virgin) Ben Shapiro”.
Anyways, more left-wing commentary calling the election “a referendum on Barack Obama”:
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/daily/site_061708/content/01125114.guest.html
Apparently the country said “HELLS YEAH, GIMME SUMMA DAT OBAMA-LAMA-DING-DONG!”
Say, can you come in here and bust up this chifforobe?
Don’t go on patting yourselves on your collective back Sadlynuts . The race war has started –
http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2008/11/06/black_church_in_springfield_burns/?s_campaign=8315
Oh , seems that it was a black church that was burnt . Never mind .
Say, can you come in here and bust up this chifforobe?
Gee, Ben, I thought “garderobe” is where you lived.
I’m very sorry I didn’t see any of these until today. The whole gallery is pretty good.
Red Rump, Red Rump, Red Rump……
Well, Clif, it’s two – two – two tropes in one – this election was about one thing and one thing only: Americans’ puerile need for unity through seeing our white women raped in our own front yards by big black bucks with the sweat on their naked backs glistening in the light of our flame-engulfed homes.
Duh! The election was about surrendering oour country to our Islamic masters, Ben.
Remember–it’s all projection with them. Always. The Dems have elected a young, smart, center-left Ronald Reagan. That’s really what’s pissing them off.
I can’t wait until Benny Boy runs for city council on a ‘smug, little pissant’ platform.
Duh! The election was about surrendering oour country to our Islamic masters, Ben.
And here I thought it was a heartwarming holiday story about the tender love that only exists between a man and a woman.
Ann Coulter, in that way only she can, supplies a different um, perspective on the election:
So Powell is to blame for President B. Hussein Obama. swear, that woman’s insight is incredible. Literally.
Oh you puerile, self-congratulatory Americans, electing someone who ran on actual ISSUES instead of taking the wise, mature route by smearing the hell out of the other guy from start to finish!
See, I wrote that as parody – then I started reading Shapiro’s sludge & hey presto – there it is:
That sure is a shitload of repleteness you guys had going on there … so, it seems little Benji thinks ratfucks & WWF-style politics is a good thing? Someone should put him right smack-dab in the middle of one of those REAL brawls that go on in the South Korean parliament sometime, & see if his “wise mature opinion” survives for five seconds.
Oh, & the founders didn’t “embrace” that garbage – they despised it. The majority of them surely lamented the degeneracy of early 19th-century politics, as vividly described by Alexis de Tocqueville. A lot of them were old-school gentlemen who modelled themselves after Euro nobility, a notoriously effete bunch who prided themselves on their civility & chivalry – not really paragons of mudslinging.
Oh, my!
Over at FAUX News.com:
Al Franken: pinhead or patriot?
GAWRSH, I just can’t think of what their reaction would possibly be!
Wow. If only we had known he’s not black after all, the whole race issue would have been avoided. Huh? Oh, Silvio Berlusconi says
“And here I thought it was a heartwarming holiday story about the tender love that only exists between a man and a woman.”
…and a goat, and a zucchini, and a muppet.
It’s a big bed, and there’s a lot of love.
Is Reply #2 a great piece of snark-asm or an honest comment at Shapiro’s thread? You decide:
Oh, & the founders didn’t “embrace” that garbage – they despised it.[…]
Not to mention that it was deemed unseemly to actually campaign.
From Hernson’s Guide To Political Campaigns In America
[emphasis added]
The election was about sex.
Although Ben obviously has a vivid memory of his relatively recent experiences in the third grade, he appears to have forgotten, say, the third-grade slogans of St. Ronnie and St. Nancy
Drill, baby, drill!
They implied that if we voted against him, we were engaging in racial hatred;
“They” apparently imply a lot of stupid stuff, yet links to these implications are strangely lacking.
Say, can you come in here and bust up this chifforobe?
Best comment ever?
unity through self-congratulatory, cathartic membership in a broad, transformative political movement.
As opposed to “disarray through self-hating repressed disunity in a narrow unchanging impolitic stasis”?
Sounds about right.
Ding dong dilly, libs! Looks like Boss Ben served up a SPREAD of TRUTH that you just couldn’t stomach! The Cool Coach knows why, too- your guts are full of socialist silliness with no room for anything else!
You better believe that Super Sarah, the Power Palin, has you loony lefties running for cover. We can’t wait for 2012, when the Obummer’s failure will finally be understood by all!
Badoodle-boo-yeah! You just got served a SPREAD of ACTUAL VICTORY, libs! Urban out.
Rev. Wright + ACORN + Aunt Zeituni + Arugula + Bitter/Cling + Muslim + Socialist + Coal + Community Organizer + Rezko + Ayers + Ashley Todd + “Whitey” tape = 174 Electoral Votes.
Best election EVAR!!11!11!!1
Dude, seriously, please find a new act for four years or we’ll put you in a re-education camp.
Say, can you come in here and bust up this chifforobe?
Which one? The one at the top of the stairs by the Tudor balustrade?
Man, I’ve been waiting eight years for this:
Hey, Ben? GET OVER IT.
Ann Coulter, in that way only she can, supplies a different um, perspective on the election:
Hey, maybe Ann should be put in charge of the Leper Colony; she’s clearly someone who knows a lot about purging.
god I love this place
Badoodle-boo-yeah! You just got served a SPREAD of ACTUAL VICTORY, libs! Urban out.
“H.L. PUTTIGRASS OFF TO TAKE A BATH!”
It keeps getting better. Smith is out, Merkley is in. And, NC goes to Obama. EV total 364.
Suck it, whingers.
Video from Palin’s science advisor.
Someone married Ben? Now Barack’s win is th 2nd most unbelievable event of the year.
The fact is, you liberals will be begging a Heartland hero to come back and save this country once the socalist Obama installs socalism that will bring this nation to ruin.
a SPREAD of ACTUAL VICTORY
I am angry that I have been hornswoggled by this FALSE victory!
The NC and VA changes are big news. I think the growth of Atlanta will gradually move GA to the left too. Once that happens, all of “the originals” will be blue, unless you could South Carolina. But South Carolina never counts.
Gary — The real heartland, full of Real Americans, is in the blue states. We also like to call it the “Brainland.” Also, bring on the socialism.
I am not surprised that liberals are gloating this morning and others about Obama winning the Presidency because he spent more money and should have won by a lot more if he wasn’t such an empty suit. Get your laughs now, liberals, because the joke will be on you once socialism fails in America who will deny it to happen. If you understood economic Law you’d understand this but you don’t.
And just immediately after I pointed out that he’s now “The married (so don’t call him Virgin) Ben Shapiro”.
I hate to quibble with the All-Knowing Dragon-King of Bhutan, but being married does not guarantee that young Ben hath been deflowered.
His writing and pics have always exuded an aura of finding girls distinctly…icky.
I’m sure it’s already been done, but I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the wingnuts for the vital role they played in Obama’s victory.
Thank you, wingnuts. Thank you for showing Undecided America the true, repulsive face of modern American ‘conservatism’. Thank you for your unbridled racism and laughable, flailing paranoia. Thank you for making asses of yourselves, and your party, again and again, even as the country stared at you with a dumbfounded, “what the fuck is wrong with these people” look on its face. Thank you for making ‘Republican’ a dirty word again, as it deserves to be.
Thank you for turning the razor-sharp minds at the McCain campaign and Fox News onto Bill Ayers and ACORN and all the other retarded smears du jour that blew up in your faces. And let’s raise a glass to the ones that never had time to make it, like the birth certificate ‘controversy’, the hypnotism and the Malcolm X thing; if only these stories had been given a chance, Obama’s lead could’ve been even bigger.
And yes, even the pissy, insignificant message board trolls have played their part, acting as a shrieking, whack-a-doo anti-advertisment for McCain to anyone who happens to wander by a forum infected with their shit. We couldn’t have come up with a better psyop if we tried. (Indeed, this may have been the intention of many a fake troll – but where would they be without the originals to inspire them?)
Just imagine if, six years ago, someone had said, “You Republicans are going to fuck this up so badly that in 2008 the Democrats will be able to run a black candidate whose name sounds like ‘Black Hussein Osama’, and he’ll still kick your asses.” Well, it came true. And it’s all thanks to YOU.
Thank you, Michelle. Thank you, Pammy. Thank you, Ace. Thank you, Rush and Sean and BillO.
This could never have happened without you.
Have a little patience with Ben. He has only been married a few months, and he is having trouble with the mechanics of… you know what.
All his father told him was “the man goes on top, and the woman underneath”
So he bought a bunk bed.
Gary and the Coach are going to be our most beloved, mascot-like inmates in the Heartland Karl Marx Memorial Re-education Camp for Hope and Change.
The guards’ll call them over, tousle their hair playfully, and ask them to do some schtick — “the fact is! the fact is!”, “ding-dong-dilly!!!” — for which they’ll be rewarded with hearty laughs and extra Cheetos.
The fact is, you liberals will be begging a Heartland hero to come back and save this country once the socalist Obama installs socalism that will bring this nation to ruin.
That’s right, mofos; cheetos and red bull are not going to consume themselves and won’t YOU be sorry when you have to wend your ways through the resulting mountains of cases to get to the clinics for your mandatory gaybortions?
Why does everybody leave out St.Ronnies’ liberation of Grenada when citing his many accomplishments?
Brilliant reference.
Very well said, kiki.
Now all of these great patriots are telling us “I can’t wait to laugh in your face when America crashes and burns…” Actually, fucktards, that’s exactly what we’re doing RIGHT NOW. We’re laughing in your pathetic pasty faces, because just like we said, your musty, extinct ideology has been decisively repudiated. In the last two years, you fools have lost the White House, (at least) twelve Senate seats, and 50+ seats in the House. Your great war hero and his bimbo running mate flipped ZERO blue states and lost NINE red states. Now your pathetic party has the knives out and is organizing a predictable circular firing squad.
No, it is US who will be laughing at YOU for quite some time.
Badoodle-boo-yeah! You just got served a SPREAD of ACTUAL VICTORY, libs! Urban out.
Is that what they’re calling it now? I think coach urban has been spending a little too much time at the bathhouse.
Ben, guys like you are in what we call the wingnut community, which I define as people who believe that solutions emerge from your pathetic whining about liberals. That’s not the way the world really works anymore. We’re a democracy now, and when we vote, liberals win. And while you’re whining about that — pathetically, as you will — we’ll vote again, putting in office more liberals, which you whine about too, and that’s how things will sort out. We’re the majority . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just whine about what we do.
“Bust up this chifforobe???”
EGAD.
… that is, like, unconstitutional or something.
Has Ruppert gotten his orders to report to the gay marriage socialism reeducation camp yet?
Ben is so pre 11-4.
After 11-4 everything is different. One can not look at the world through pre 11-4 glasses any more, for it just will not make sense to them.
I need a Heartland Hero!
I’m holdin’ out for a Heartland Hero ’til the end of the night
He’s gotta be fat
And he’s gotta be white
And not what you’d call terribly bright
Get your laughs now, liberals, because the joke will be on you once socialism fails in America who will deny it to happen.
Pastor Swank? Is that you again?
OT… anonymous wingnut at http://www.americasright.com:
I am wondering if we can contact the electors in the electoral college and ask them to either join the Berg lawsuit, or start one of there own? Do they have a better standing legally then we the people do?
I realize that I must sound like a sore loser – but I don’t want to take a chance with our Country and not fight!
Heh.
One of the things I appreciate about the mouth-breathers is that they’re not crafty enough to realize that reporters, sometimes, report the things you say to them:
Local shop flies American flag upside down
Hampel’s employees call it a signal of ‘distress’
By SHERI McWHIRTER
smcwhirter@record-eagle.com
TRAVERSE CITY — Not everyone is excited about the nation’s first black president. Some are downright hostile.
Employees at Hampel’s Key and Lockshop on Randolph Street in Traverse City flew an American flag upside down Wednesday in protest of Sen. Barack Obama’s victory in the presidential election.
And one employee directed a racial slur at Obama during a telephone interview with a Record-Eagle reporter.
“(The inverted flag is) an international signal for distress and we feel our country is in distress because the n—– got in,” said Hampel’s employee Rod Nyland
An hour later, he called the newspaper to apologize, and his boss said that he doesn’t speak for them. The flag is upside down because of concern for Obama’s lack of executive experience, you see.
I’ve been doing this for weeks, actually – he seems to like googling his own name on Sadly as a way to insert himself into the conversation.
“some supporters even implied America would undergo a race war if he lost”
nice straw man you got there Virgin Ben. The only ‘supporters’ saying that was the Palin Troopers of the Right.
The flag is upside down because of concern for Obama’s lack of executive experience, you see.
I remember people flying the flag upside-down early in Bush’s first term – I don’t remember if it was post-9/11 or not. They ended up getting the usual torrent of death threats – I’m guessing that these bumpkins will get off lighter.
Yes, YES, YES!!!!! This is the schadenfreude I was missing yesterday!
It will be interesting, and entertaining, to see who, if anyone, learns from this election. Circular firing squads aplenty!!!!!!
Can anyone confirm whether the Palindrones actually chanted “bless your heart!” and so on during various rallies? This has, any which way, been an excellent election for chanting and booing.
For an unhinged rant from the other end of the wingnut age spectrum, check out this diatribe from Chicago conservative blowhard Tom Roeser. It’s all the fault of that damn rock’n’roll!
The flag is upside down because of concern for Obama’s lack of executive experience, you see.
The sheriff is not experienced in executive matters!
Man these euphemistic code words are getting pretty darn complicated.
Employees at Hampel’s Key and Lockshop on Randolph Street in Traverse City flew an American flag upside down Wednesday in protest of Sen. Barack Obama’s victory in the presidential election.
I thought righties claimed that was defiling the flag and traitorously anti-American? Google also seems to think that was a common opinion. Yet another example of IOKIYAAR, I suppose.
Let’s go down to Traverse City
where life is cheap and wingnuttia’s free
Rather than a chifferobe, the item of furniture I associate with young Ben is…
Now is the time to ask what this election was about.
What?! Now is the time? Will you always be on the wrong side of history or what?
I know why I voted for him: as an only child with broke parents rapidly approaching retirement age, perhaps our only hope is to move to one of Comrade Obama’s Super Fantastic Collective Farm Parks.
If he’s not ACTUALLY a socialist, then I am fucking screwed.
I can has Giuliani equivalent?
And according to Thomas Sowell, I, a middle-aged white college professor with a comfortable income, voted for Obama because of a need for forgiveness for past racism (he actually put it a little more eloquently than that, but that was the gist of it). That I voted for Obama because his ideas and policies are closer to the way the I would like to see the country go (MUCH closer, in fact) than those of his opponent, never seems to have crossed his–or any other conservative’s–mind. This is actually why I vote for anyone in any election. If a black candidate with McCain’s ideas and policies were running against a white candidate with Obama’s, I would vote for the white guy without a moment’s hesitation. That Obama is, in fact, African-American, is lagniappe for me–a great thing and a great moment in our history, but not really why I voted for him.
Thank you for listening to today’s episode of: Things People Say That Wingnuts Are Genetically Incapable Of Hearing.
(I’d file that next to “Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11” and “Bill Ayers is not running for President”.)
Dear Ben Shapiro,
It has been brought to my attention that you have been bad-mouthing America. Words like “puerile need for unity” were mentioned in this connection. Please remember that for non-US foreigners like myself, suffering as we are under the knout of socialist oppression, bad-mouthing America in the comment threads of S,N! is one of our few remaining sources of satisfaction. And now you are stealing it from us. For shame, Mr Shapiro. If you persist in pre-empting our anti-US tirades, we will be… um… miffed.
You wouldn’t like us when we’re miffed.
Ben. America. Love it or leave it!
Heh, always wanted to say that to a wingnut.
Oblammo pals around with terraists. Rahm Emmanuel is a mean partisan. We conservatives knew he was gonna want to use money to do all kinds of crazy stuff, so we used it all up before he got there. You lost, DEMONcraps, GET OVER IT!!!
#
Ben Shapiro said,
November 6, 2008 at 18:36
Say, can you come in here and bust up this chifforobe?
Nah, Ben’s too cheap to buy all the kiddies an ice cream first.
“Bust up this chifforobe???”
People, please! Don’t tell me it’s been THAT long since you last read To Kill A Mockingbird.
After 11-4 everything is different. One can not look at the world through pre 11-4 glasses any more, for it just will not make sense to them.
Heh! Nice.
People, please! Don’t tell me it’s been THAT long since you last read To Kill A Mockingbird.
Well, ice cream certainly cost more than a nickel a cone since I last read it.
But even at a nickel, Ben would’ve been too cheap.
kiki said,
November 6, 2008 at 20:43
I need a Heartland Hero!
I’m holdin’ out for a Heartland Hero ’til the end of the night
He’s gotta be fat
And he’s gotta be white
And not what you’d call terribly bright
That’s awesome. Marry me and we’ll make babies to abort.
The fact is, you liberals will be begging a Heartland hero to come back and save this country
Illinois ain’t the heartland????
Let’s go down to Traverse City
where life is cheap and wingnuttia’s free
Hm.
I was going to change the lyrics, but given Wingnut Welfare…
Just an urchin livin’ under the street
I’m a hard case that’s tough to beat
I’m your charity case
So by me somethin’ to eat
I’ll pay you at another time
Take it to the end of the line
And while you’re whining about that — pathetically, as you will — we’ll vote again, putting in office more liberals, which you whine about too, and that’s how things will sort out.
This also deserves a “Heh! Nice”.
Post 11-4 lard will be at a premium.
Damn fine pitcher, Clif.
Bet that blue goes down to his balls…
Damn. Michigan isn’t looking too good these days. There was a Klansman standing by the main drag in Midland yesterday with a U.S. flag (rightside-up), taking abuse from passers-by. Robe, pointy hat, sidearm, huge gut & all. (He needs to cut back on the PBR, according to the pic in the paper. It’s not lookist if it’s true. )
Just the one; apparently the others had stuff to do. He wouldn’t comment on how many robe-bearing buddies he had to the press, or what the secret handshake was. No comment on the coming race war, either. What a letdown.
Hicks are hicks regardless of which side of the Mason-Dixon they’re on, I guess.
I’d attempt the linky-thing, but I regularly fail at teh Internets. You can find it at http://www.ourmidland.com.
Dammit. They changed the pictures in the online article. The ones they posted online yesterday were funnier.
I care little for the paucity of his prose….I just wanna see some hot Ben Shapiro on Patrick McHenry action!
Ned Hades,
I heartily endorse Firefox with the BBCodeExtra extension for the HTML challenged or just plain lazy among us. It gives you a little drop menu with a lot of nifty tags like make-selection-a-link and blockquote, which I could have sworn you used to be able to abbreviate and is just too much for my sorry ass to want to type.
Say, can you come in here and bust up this chifforobe?
Which one? The one at the top of the stairs by the Tudor balustrade?
The atmosphere was as phony as the Tudor balustrade at the top of the stairs. And there Ben stood — radiant! All those curves, hidden beneath that flimsy burnoose!
Please don’t make me vomit at work again.
[Obama] embodied the need of the American public for unity by hearkening back to the ultimate unifying feature of American life: third-grade slogans.
Yoo Ess Ay! Yoo Ess Ay!
The fact is, you liberals will be begging a Heartland hero to come back and save this country once the socalist Obama installs socalism that will bring this nation to ruin.
Where have you gone Joe the Plumber-O?
Our Nation turns its Rand-ite eyes to you.
Woo woo woo!
I just wanna see some hot Ben Shapiro on Patrick McHenry action!
Townhall slash fiction… what a concept!
“Now, it seems we’re voting for Obama to avoid seeing our white women raped in our own front yards by big black bucks with the sweat on their naked backs glistening in the light of our flame-engulfed homes.”
Wait, I thought that was the reason NOT to vote for Obama…
…need for unity through self-congratulatory, cathartic membership in a broad, transformative political movement.
Actually, in the organic way that Left movements seem to develop — that’s exactly what we might have, here. And, puerile? It ain’t.
Benji — feel free to blow my dog; okay? Thanks.
I got pretty sick of people complaining about “Yes, We Can”.
What? Really? It doesn’t express anything complex or specific? IT IS A SLOGAN YOU DUMBASS. Do they make bumper stickers that are as long as your bumper is wide, saying things like “Honk if you support a mixed economy consisting mainly of private enterprise, but with government-owned or subsidized programs of education, healthcare, child care and related services for all citizens along with a steeply progressive system of taxation to fund government expenditure without burdening working-class consumers”?
Plus, “Country First”? What’s second, Western?
or “Motherfucker, bring me an iced tea!”
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