Shorter Confederate Yankee
Posted on November 3rd, 2008 by Brad
- Whistling in the dark,
Whistling in the dark,
There’s only one thing that I like and that is
Whistling in the darkWhistling! (Whistling!)
Whistling! (Whistling!)
Dark! (Dark!)
Dark! (Dark!)
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions™. Thanks to They Might Be Giants for the lyrical inspiration.
“I saw hundreds of signs posted on a highway for Obama, but only 2 for McCain. This is good for McCain (Who I despise)”
If only there were more about Ayers, it would be a perfect example of light-weight wingnuttian doublethink.
Additional Shorter Confederate Wankee:
Let’s say that Obama actually does pull this out. Owens isn’t just drinking the Kool-Aid that McCain still does have a chance…he’s chugging the fifth that Obama has no chance. No polls/data or anything, just going with the old gut. Americans are just like Bumblin’ Bob, so McCain has it on easy street, this guy says.
I’m awfully curious how he’ll take Wednesday morning. What’ll be the reason given? What’ll be the excuse? Maybe just being resigned to fate? Or is this guy about to go nuclear-McCarthy on those dark elements of America that led Obama to victory? It could get ugly.
What’s a her baby? Is that the same thing as a girl?
This is what you want, This is what you get.
This is what you want, This is what you get.
This is what you want, This is what you get.
Three things need to happen for me to truly be proud of America tomorrow:
Obama wins (pretty likely)
60 seats in the Senate (I doubt it 🙁 )
Prop 8 fails in California (fingers crossed)
One of those three happens I’ll be kind of proud. two out three is great. Three out of three and YOU ROCK
Stop the presses!
Republican campaign aide from Bob Dole campaign claims liberal media bias.
Oh, I think you can count on the hardcore kool-aid consuming 28%ers to lean heavily on “voter fraud” and claim that this was a thousand times worse than anything that might have happened in florida in 2000.
The question is, how much credence will it get in the media?
mikey
My favorite is that the right-wing Election Projection and Karl Rove both have Obama up by at least 40 EVs.
Yeah, even Pravda gave that one up before Halloween.
I’m going to laugh SO HARD when North Carolina winds up turning blue underneath his ass. If only blacks were as violent and radical as the right likes to pretend; I do wish that there was some way for the cosmos to inflict on a man who calls himself “Confederate Yankee” what he deserves.
Allegations of cheating, fraud, dirty tricks, ACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN, racism (of the reverse variety, which is worst of all).
C’mon, this is easy. They’ll do what they’ve been doing for years, and accuse the Left of everything and anything they can dream up, regardless of evidence, hypocrisy, or whether it even makes sense. That should last them until January 20, at which point they can revert to smear-the-Dem-president mode.
Don’t just wish an ignominious defeat for Prop H8 in California.
Colorado has an equally awful Amendment 48 that would define a fertilized egg as a person. The religious right will never, ever stop trying to quietly whittle away at our rights, no matter how far out of the halls of power they may seem.
I posted this at Bob’s site:
The comments on that page make me so sad. How can people actually enjoy NOT thinking?
And btw, thanks. Now I’m going to have that song in my head all day.
Calls for impeachment will precede the inauguration.
I’m hoping the wingnut fringe will slowly be shunned and marginalized in the coming months. That might be countered by Tweety continuing to host folks like Tom DeLay.
So maybe it’s folks like Tweety and Wolf who need to be shunned and marginalized.
At least Pumpkinhead’s dead, with Novak soon to follow. ‘Pundit’ reduction by attrition.
The Republicans like to think that what they hammered into the media was obedience to them, and while I don’t doubt at least some sad souls coming of journalistic age in this sorry decade will spend the next eight years mainstreaming KKK newsletter clippings on behalf of the Greater Bonner* County American Heritage Not Hate Christ-Jihad, the general principle behind our press is servility and deference. They want access, they want to cozy up to power. And the Republicans are losers right now.
The things that made the 90s the 90s – massive amounts of money concentrated into people who really wanted Clinton destroyed**, a new and strange corporate twenty-four-hour news media, and an insanely well-organized and disciplined local and national Republican party – aren’t here now. All the people pushing the COWBOYS COWBOYS COWBOYS COWBOYS COWBOYS COWBOYS COWBOYS COWBOYS COWBOYS COWBOYS COWBOYS ACORN ACORN narrative are losers – and nobody worth their salt in the jumped-up high school society that is the Beltway sucks up to losers.
–
* – Background: Sandpoint, ID is the capital of both Bonner County and the Aryan Nations, and is (or at least was) the power-center of white-supremacism in the Anglosphere; in Idaho the word ‘Sandpoint’ in conversation, on the balance, is referring to Nazis. It is also the birthplace of Sarah Palin. I laughed for a good minute when I found that one out – I mean, it’s completely unfair, but between the almost stereotypical mangling of English, the obsession with control and the overweening desperation for popularity, I really can’t help but imagine Sarah Palin as a failed clone of Hitler.
** – n.b. that, based on the fundraising numbers for this election, people haven’t just been hedging their bets heavily in Obama’s favor – they’ve been actively trying to get him elected. For the first time in quite some time, the American business community is much more confident with the ability of the Democrat than the Republican. Difficult to imagine another massive astroturfing campaign with this little support.
My favorite comment was the one about NY being so liberal because of all the poor people in the City. I know that when I think of NYC, the absence of wealth is the first thing that comes to my mind.
I think that the presence of the internets will further help marginalize the yammering wingers. This election indicates to me that people are actually starting to look into information for themselves instead of taking at good faith anything that Tweety and/or Tom DeLay have to say.
This election indicates to me that people are actually starting to look into information for themselves instead of taking at good faith anything that Tweety and/or Tom DeLay have to say.
Not really. The average voter is still pretty ignorant. It’s more that you can only use the same bullshit so many times without producing effective governance before people stop buying it.
The Dems are going to have to produce. They won’t be able to blame anyone but themselves if the economy continues to tank, if more people keep sinking into poverty, if we stay stuck in Iraq forever, etc. They have to produce. If they don’t, the GOP will be back in power.
Obama will install stalinism. I’ve already posted the evidence. Your shrill insistance on focusing on Sarah Palin is going to fail. Americans don’t care about dead Arabs in piles, they care about gun control. When Obama uses an Assault Weapons Ban to force Americans to give all their wealth to Black people you’ll see what will happen. Real America will fight back after we have exhausted every option to peacefully stop your dictator. And then you’ll be sorry. Oh shit, an Apache! Go get the RPG, they a-comin’!
If John McCain becomes the President after voting is complete on Tuesday, the wasteful, shallow extravagance in median of I-81 may very well be a fitting metaphor for a Obama political campaign ran precisely the same way.
And if McCain loses, as is far more likely, what did his two signs symbolize? A piss poor organization and lackluster support? Having neither style NOR substance? The sad failure of wingnut clapping skills to save Crankybell?
Bobo Wens would like to poision your mind
With wrong ideas that appeal to him:
Ummm, “devoid of substance” is a phrase that correctly describes one of the two campaigns – but it’s not the one Wankee thinks it is.
“The Dems are going to have to produce. They won’t be able to blame anyone but themselves if the economy continues to tank, if more people keep sinking into poverty, if we stay stuck in Iraq forever, etc. They have to produce. If they don’t, the GOP will be back in power.”
Oh, no question. But production should be sufficient this time because more people people will be better able to see cause and effect through the winger spin and lies. People don’t seem to be hung up on the silly shit any more.
Quality of argument is the greatest wingnut strength.
David masterfully parries…
with:
And the comments – when asked how he’d respond if the number of signs had been reversed, the next commenter immediately, without any factual basis, says that the McCain campaign, had it done the *exact same thing*, would not be excessive or flashy and without substance.
The very definition of IOKIYAR
D’oh! Beaten to the punch by Henry Lewis!
Anon.: minds, alike, etc.
At least he’s letting Red Phantom’s comment stand.
Has Cornfed gone soft?
Calls for impeachment will precede the inauguration.
It will be like the Clinton years only more so. To CY and his ilk an Obama presidency is illegitimate by definition (i.e., black president does not compute). Expect a constant stream of lunacy (Ayers wrote his bio, his dad is Malcolm X, etc.) for his entire term.
Devoid of substance.
Seriously. One of the two sides wanted the election to be about “character”. One of the two sides thinks the only things going for their candidate is a lack of connections to Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers. That and he was a POW. A mavericky one.
The grand total discussion I’ve seen about McCain’s platform is how his Health Care plan sucks so hard that the best thing going for it is that it’s unlikely to pass Congress.
Oh, and he’ll veto all earmarks, except popular ones or ones that’ll help Israel. And this will magically free up over a hundred times the amount of money spent on earmarks.
Shorter next four years:
Barack HUSSEIN Obama
Barack HUSSEIN Obama
Barack HUSSEIN Obama
My favorite comment was the one about NY being so liberal because of all the poor people in the City. I know that when I think of NYC, the absence of wealth is the first thing that comes to my mind. – Legalize
You know CY readers imagine themselves as Snake Plisken bravely venturing deep into violent waters to attend a taping of Huckabee.
OT but amusing:
Sad times in Jugsland. Pammy’s feud with the rest of Wingnuttia now includes Charles Johnson of LGF.
http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2008/11/ah-the-irony-lg.html
Pammy is on her own in the wilderness.
He’ll need a crane to pick his broken ruins up again.
I have to say, if I knew he was coming I would have driven from Philly up to Pennsyltucky and lined up about 700 barbeque grills down the middle of I 81.
Prominently stickered for Obama of course.
Dirty tricks?
In America’s elections?
It’s more likely than you might think.
Never expect bullies to fight fair.
Their problem is, most people see it coming now … “The Wolf Who Cried ‘Boy’,” if you will … thus, all this cheating is going to get them a MUCH smaller reward this time. Obama saw this coming a long way back – unlike 2004, the Dems now have a huge staff of people whose main task is to neutralize this ratfuckery & keep the voting open & fair … so this time, the bullies are going to get handed their ass on a stick instead of the usual lunch-money.
“Paybacks are a bitch, & she’s in heat.”
Good luck getting them to bite. With the exception of Fox News (and even then, not so much – expect them to suddenly rediscover their ‘Republicans warily endorsing Obama’ position post-election), people like CY are going to be politically radioactive – they’re cheerleaders for a depressingly shitty team which gambled and lost big. You can replace the “cover this favorably and there’s a new situation room in it for you” carrot with a “cover this unfavorably and you won’t get to go to my next barbecue” stick, but once you no longer have a position of strength from which to stick at the press, you just do not have the power to fuck any kind of rats at all.
For the next four years the wingnutosphere is going to have to get really used to being judged on the merit of their opinions – the Kerning Brigade is 0 for a whole fucking bunch, and with neither the carrot nor the stick keeping them relevant as a pole of the debate to be respected they’ll slink into the same kind of perversely worthless irrelevance that Perlman pere’s Team B did after ratfucking Carter lost its political urgency.
BEST
ELECTION
EVAH!1!
Re: immediate calls for impeachment, etc., blah blah:
Also different this time around is that Congress will be majorly Dem. During Big Dawg’s terms the place was lousy with rabid Rethugtards biting at his ankles the whole way. Not this time. Nope.
Is that electoral map prediction right? Arizona is now “Barely Republican”?
Wow, is this going to be good.
Looks like he’s editing (deleting) some of the comments – what a surprise.
In terms of modern American metropolites (which, outside of a few bum-fuck states nobody cares about, contain the vast majority of the electorate), you have basically three groups to measure against each other: the inner city (including suburbs older than a couple of decades), suburbia (areas directly dependent on the metropolitan core for economic and social services) and exurbia (areas far enough from the metropolitan core that competitor services develop much faster than they can be regulated by society).
The former reliably goes blue; the latter reliably goes red; and he suburbs tend to split between bigots (red) and careerists (blue).
What we’re seeing is a pretty unprecedented breaking of the bigot vote in the suburbs – the terror of suburban society is no longer inner-city darkies but Bosnywash-exported financial and government elites. Joe the Plumber was a last, desperate Hail Mary to the crippling, Death Of A Salesman extreme that drives people to take a mortgage on a house without a school in the same county. The desperate efforts to get somebody, anybody in suburbia to go back to voting their family tree instead of their wallet have failed; they’re banking on getting enough people het up about an Obama presidency in Bumfuck that they can coast into a recount, or at least 2012.
Of course, because they’ve drunk their own damn Kool-Aid, it has yet to occur to them that Bumfuck is shrinking to nothing. Even in Arizona, the beating heart of our house subdivided, the exurbans are no longer confident enough in their futures to wage war on the mother city any longer – because they realize, with a sense of creeping dread, that they might just be in that mother city before long.
In areas like the Rust Belt, you’re seeing even areas which are disproportionately dominated by nasty, racist campaigning falling heavily into the camp of a liberal black man. We’ve won the suburbs and the exurbs are too shell-shocked to do anything about it – and before long, they won’t exist on a scale sufficient to exploit politically.
Looks like he’s editing (deleting) some of the comments – what a surprise.
Parody Ruppert shoots, and scores!
OH NOEZ!
Get out the broomsticks & the rubber-hoses, folks – quick!
It’s git versus git!
Wingnuts need their very own Terrordome:
“Two blithering dipshits enter, only one leaves!”
IIiiiiIIIiiieeeeEEEEEEEEE!
Thanks for the breakdown, Alec.
Meanwhile, “Barely Republican” sounds like the worst porn magazine ever.
Well, the economy is going to continue to tank for awhile and our exit from Iraq won’t be instantaneous by any measure.
People will be better able to see cause and effect only if the Obama Admin and the Dem leadership become as good at managing the message as the Rethugs were at the height of their power. In this case, this means consistently and clearly explaining, in conservative, non-partisan and non-ideological terms, cause and effect, and explicitly defining goals, methods and progress measurement – IOW, all that happy “performance review” horsepuckey I used to hate back in my corporate drone days.
“Production” does indeed need to come quickly, but dramatic progress is severely constrained by “pre-existing conditions” and will be difficult to demonstrate. So, Obama, Biden, Cabinet members and Congressional leaders are going to have to get really good, really fast, at demonstrating each tiny increment of progress (which is all we’re realistically likely to see for the first couple years) and at effectively demonstrating how Rethuglican “alternative” proposals are doomed to screw things up worse.
Even so, the Rethugs are already plotting how to win back some Senate seats in 2010. If they’re sufficiently successful, it will make further progress during the ensuing two to eight years that much more difficult.
Here’s the bitterest irony. If, by 2014, the Dems have thoroughly succeeded in fixing things – US is largely at peace with the rest of the world (extricated from Iraq/Afghanistan), alternative energy industries have decimated US dependence on ME oil and are creating a resurgence of US economic prosperity while reducing GHG emissions, infrastructure is being rebuilt, public school test scores are up and unwanted pregnancies and abortions and budget deficits are down – those “people” who currently “don’t seem to be hung up on the silly shit anymore”, well, their minds will once again begin to wander and the Rethugs will be right back at them about silly shit like teh Gheys and Second Amendment and Intelligent Design, etc. and they’ll start buying it all over again, just as soon as they’re comfortable with all the other stuff.
Throw in a little Dem ideological overreach and corruption scandal and by 2016 we’re back to partying like it’s 1999.
And I’m in an unusually optimistic mood today.
Sad times in Jugsland. Pammy’s feud with the rest of Wingnuttia now includes Charles Johnson of LGF.
And here I thought Jeralynn Merritt being ostracized by Blogtopia (© Skippy) was going to be the big blog story of the elections…