A Bad Idea Gone Terribly, Terribly Wrong
Two guys with faces made for radio and voices made for newsprint are just the duo to have their own “television show” on the web, right? Well, thanks to the technological miracle that is Butt-Flap PJs Media, John “Butt Missile” Hinderaker and Paul “Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk” Mirengoff bring you the first episode of Powerline TV. Realizing, of course, the infinite possibility for ridicule of these two stooges, Powerline TV won’t allow me to embed the video here on Sadly, No!, so you’ll have to click through the link if you want to see and hear Episode 1: “Butt Missile Talks.” If you don’t want to click that link, then you can just read on for the episode’s highlights.
As the pilot episode opens, we are treated to Butt Missile with a confused look on his face, looking like a male Candy Crowley after a bad night and hiding out in a conference room at his law firm Faegre and Benson, hoping that none of his partners would find him squandering perfectly good billable hours pretending to be a news anchor.
Hey, is this thing on yet? Oh, it is. Okay. Wait just a sec. Okay. Ready. Uh, hi, everybody, I’m John Hinderaker. I’m coming to you, uh, over PJ TV from Minneapolis and this is the first ever Powerline show on PJ TV. We hope it’s gonna become a regular feature. We’ll try to develop, you know, some theme music and so forth.
This is probably a good time to mention that Butt Missile has, rather unaccountably and certainly quite unattractively, two earbuds plugged into both his ears with wires hanging out all over the place. Perhaps he’s listening to his iPod for possible theme music. Something by Ted Nugent would be a good guess. Please feel free to suggest other appropriate theme music in comments.
Gavin adds:
We’ve got an interesting flapdidoodle, uh, controversy going on here in Minneapolis right now regarding my friend Michelle Bachman
Butt Missile is talking about Bachman’s appearance on Hardball where she called Obama “un-American” and called for an inquiry into just exactly which members of Congress were un-American. At this point, the episode of Powerline TV, rather oddly, starts running the video but not the audio of the Hardball segment. Well, not so oddly, perhaps because this clever journalistic technique allows Butt Missile to describe what he wished Bachman said without being confronted by the sad truth of what she actually said.
Chris Matthews immediately jumped in an started trying to goad her into saying something to the effect that Barack Obama is unpatriotic. He started asking her about the McCain Palin campaign’s references to, uh, Bill Ayers blar blar snort snuffle Maoist with faggy earrings bleh blah who is Barack’s gay lover har snort and so forth and Michelle actually did a very good job blar blah sniff huffle puffle crazed Negro preacherman too and so forth and why smorf bah boom snickle poom pah bite me. And Michelle said something along the lines of “Well, you know, I mean you try to blow up the Capitol Building, you say ‘God damn America,’ you know that’s anti-American” blar snort sniffle boom bah look at those great tits that my great friend Michelle has, that photogenic firebrand snuffle huffle pooty! Well, uh, the whole exchange didn’t last more than, I don’t know, four or five minutes, which isn’t long enough to question Barry’s patriotism ‘cuz that would take, you know, weeks and weeks. Bada-bing. Try the steamship round. But the next day the Minneapolis Star Tribune headlined, uh, “Bachman questions Obama’s patriotism.” Har Har Har. She did not. Sis boom bah! WE WIN!! YAY GOP! Rah! Rah! Booyah!
Stay tuned for Episode 2 of the Powerline Show, titled “Sarah Palin’s New Clothes Were Worth Every Penny Because Her Mukluks Were Starting To Look Tattered.”
Hinderaker… that’s what you get when you “grind her in the hinder”.
Mukluk
Walking into a trap. It was Chris Matthews that goaded Bachmann into all those crazy statements. Check out the transcript:
That’s Question 1. There’s a follow-up, and then Tweety tries to give her an out:
Segue denied. Ayers! Wright! Ayers! Wright!
From that point on, it’s McCarthy-esque CRAZYTOWN WITH EXTRA MAYONNAISE.
As the interview winds down, and Bachmann comes to the twilight of her political career, does she temper her words – the classic, diplomatic and political “on the other hand”. Does she pull out the “disagree with his views, but do give him the respect he is due” canard?
Why does this remind me of a high school parody of WAYNE’S WORLD!!!!!!!!!!
All they have to do is “schwing” everytime Michelle Bachmann’s name gets mentioned.
yay.
Good lord that video is terrible.
I’ve heard more insightful, eloquent, and thougfhful commentary on an episode of “Beavis & Butthead.”
Wow, okay I’ve been shamed into attempting to watch the video. Butt-Missle – appeaprance and voice – reminds me of this guy.
Proof once again: Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Please feel free to suggest other appropriate theme music in comments.
“I’m a Loser” by the Beatles.
Please feel free to suggest other appropriate theme music in comments.
http://www.televisiontunes.com/Beavis_and_Butthead.html
Loser by Beck.
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey . . .
Permanent Republican Control
🙂
Ph33r mi 1337 listening to wingnut sk1llzxxors. Almost half an hour later I’ve made it to the nine minute mark and I have not thrown anything. This episode actually appears to be more LIE-BERAL BIAS whinging. At about 8:15 Ass rocket is listing all the institutions absorbed by
Norbiznesshte Left phag0rts “mass media, Hollywood, the publishing industry, most of big business“. Fucking tard. Wall Street is apparently to left-wing for Assrocket. Basically everything is left-wing except talk-radio, which lie-berals are trying to take over with the Fairness Doctrine… Hey Hinderaker, you stupid pus-y boil on the backside of humanity – if what you say is true – that almost everything is ‘taken over’ by left-wing lie-beral fascists – wouldn’t the Fairness Doctrine be a HUGE FUCKING BOON TO THE CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENT? Your stupid fucking arguments are self-refuting, your fevered nightmares contain basic assumptions that are mutually exclusive, in short – you are a poopyhead and eat poop and also poop out the poop that was made from the poop you just ate.O/T, but Clif, have I got a new candidate for wingnut o’ the week for you…Behold Jim Bramlett, here to warn us and enlist our aid in spiritual warfare to block the anti-McCain/Palin curses being cast by Obama’s Kenyan witch doctor relatives!!!
More of Jim’s special “insights” here and at his own website here.
h/t to my Evil Squid Overlord.
Talk about your fucking waste of electrons!
Stay away from Minnesota if you love your protons and neutrons.
Well I made it to the end.
Shorter “Invisible-Hand-of-the-Free-Market” Powerline TV:
Liberals control almost all media, therefore conservatives should ignore all TV, movies, newspapers, magazines, etc. and only listen to Talk Radio.
Umm guys, since you’ve moved your Overton Window so far that Wall Street is way too lefty, the people you’re talking about, i.e. conservatives that are slightly right of Pat Buchanan, already boycott everything except Big Pharma and Papa Bear.
Those guys are fat. (I’ve only seen stills).
Well, DKW, you’re a stronger person than I am, because I have to confess that even I couldn’t make it past the 5 minute mark.
Isn’t coating your Brooks Brothers suit with Cheetoh dust a violation of Faegre & Benson’s dress code?
Also, the new Power Line is super queer. And they haven’t made the comments any more user-friendly.
This video provides incontrovertible proof of the existence of Bigfoot for one simple reason:
Teh Buttocks.
Take it from someone who knows Buttocks.
I had to take it in small chunks, a minute or two at a time.
The video isn’t only about Bachmann, it’s entirely based on the notion that left-wing bias is totally rampant, and the Fairness Doctrine will only cement that. I guess the concept of “reality has a left-wing bias” is something the Powertoolz see as a legitimate complaint.
Laughter, joy, and loneliness and sex and sex and sex and sex
Look at me Mukluks they’re in tatters
I’m a shattered
Shattered
Amusing tic from video.
Wingnutz have total contempt of some things for totally irrational reasons. Case in point, the whole Bill Ayers thing. It’s stupid and fucking pointless. If this were the seventies, okay – but it’s been almost half a fucking century.*
And yet every time Paul says Ayers, Assrocket’s all tittering like a school-girl. Every. Freaking. Time. I’m guessing Ayers must be their safe-word for truly adventurous scenarios.
*Nevermind JiSM3 and G Gordon “aim for the head” Liddy – I wonder how the Reagan-Saddam connection looks based on this criteria.
Any good, spirited yodeling recording would do, preferably played too loud and at inappropriate times.
I clicked away at about 2:36, although at about ten seconds in I was thinking ‘Hello, turdwits. Grab a clue. Why not declutter that background. Buy a couple of studio lights. Invest in a decent mike and mixer. Back that camera up and change the focal length. Your look is pure torture.’
Nothing wrong with amateurism. We used to have a guy on the community channel, called himself ‘Metal Man’ – a chunky dude with stringy hair who discussed his favorite bands and showed videos. He had no budget but he had some basic production values in place.
Stupid arrogent wingnut lawyers can’t even be bothered.
I like the idea that something called the ‘Fairness Doctrine’ is supposed to frighten people.
Buy a couple of studio lights.
And point them away from those stupid guys. Then point the camera to where the lights are pointing.
I they wanted to do a Powertoolz version of bloggingheads. That said, they might have noticed that bloggingheads works because they usually get people who have different perspectives on a topic to argue/debate it. Here we have a case of After You Alphonse. Ironic because what they are arguing is that the liberal dominated media creates an “echo chamber”. Although I guess telling you that Mirengoff and Hinderaker are hypocrites doesn’t count as original material.
Please feel free to suggest other appropriate theme music in comments.
Whoopee John Wilfahrt – Sprintime Polka
Which is a slam against an great polka artist.
Assrocket needs to himself a better camera that that cheap piece of crap he’s using. It isn’t really video at 5 frames a second is it?
Poll finds worldwide support for Obama
As every “small town real American” knows, the rest of the world is dangerous and not to be trusted. The rest of the world now includes big and even moderately sized cities in America. The NYC and Washington victims of 9/11 weren’t “real Americans” either, according to Palin’s definition.
That’s Assrocket’s O-face, isn’t it? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwww.
They haven’t asked me but I having a standing refusal to appear on The Rachel Ray Show,The McLaughlin Group & The Dutch Oven. I will not be a starting pitcher for the Braves either.
Are those my mukluks?
Yes and you’d better get them out of the cellophane before they scorch.
Please feel free to suggest other appropriate theme music in comments.
The Love Them From MST3K.
Only we should have two robots and Joel Hodgson commenting too.
(Sorry, Mike Nelson fans, but he was the shits)
Do I have super-powers? How about some l33t martial-art skills?
And point them away from those stupid guys. Then point the camera to where the lights are pointing.
Ha! Shorter me: Couldn’t you at least make your mendacious hatespew aesthetically pleasing?
Okay, assuming I did something REALLY EVIL in a previous incarnation, I guess I’ll check this PMTV thing out.
Uhhhh. Okay – nice to see one of the cams from early-90s late-night infomercials being recycled. Oops – accidentally restarted it – Sweet Bleeding Jesus, please tell me I can FFWD this. Whew!
Ho lee shee IT … Hardball “has only a handful of viewers”? The other talking-headcase “hopes he can stay off that Chris Matthews show” – do they kidnap guests now? KEWL.
“We should secede from the MSM” – oh, please do! No shortage of flat rocks out there to slither under. Just hope the current tenants of the undersides of said flat rocks can handle the inevitable damage to their property-values.
The left has taken over everything! (LOL)
There’s way more folks out there who are conservativve than liberal! (ROFLMAO)
We need our own media & educational institutions! (yeah, because FOX, The Wall Street Journal, AEI, Bob Jones U., Liberty Lobby, et al are such a pack of Marxists)
Democrats are going to over-reach! (hell of a trick to pull off with totally empty coffers – oh those devious leftists!)
Liberals will ban talk-radio, Up Teh Couner-Revolution! (whoa – save me the roach from that shit, guys)
“All we’re really asking for is fairness!” (which is why we’re dead-set against the Fairness Doctrine)
Curtain.
Recommended theme: “Land Of Rape And Honey” by Ministry – perferably loud enough to drown these pinheads out completely.
Please feel free to suggest other appropriate theme music in comments.
Greedy Awful People
Hindrocket is developing Palmer Eldritch stigmata.
It isn’t really video at 5 frames a second is it?
It was good enough for us!
The associates at his law firm must talk SO much shit about him during their happy hours. I’d love to overhear what they say.
Actually, it probably resembles the contents of this website. . .
The associates at his law firm must talk SO much shit about him during their happy hours.
We all know you manage a band out of your office, Murray.
Voices made for TELEGRAPH, not NEWSPRINT. Please, some precision here. Sheesh!