The Key To Everything
Posted on October 4th, 2008 by HTML Mencken
I can’t believe I missed this! It’s almost a year old!
Never before has so much been explained in so few words:
So, President Bush is my Cousin…
Seriously. Well, probably.
So, I used my day off today to plug the already fairly-detailed family history that I have into Ancestry.com.
[…]
Posted by Adam T. Yoshida on November 17, 2007 in Current Affairs
[More Yoshi treasures here.]
MOAR: In more recent Yoshi news, let’s congratulate him for hitting the big time. Betcha can’t guess from whom Mr. “Human-sized Microwaves” scored an approving link! I think they make a great pair. What mutual Glennocidal Tendencies has brought together, let no man put asunder. Excuse me while I dry my eyes.
Where’s Bible Spice on the tree?
Cousins, eh? Well, Adam, when Laura throws him out sometime next January, you two can get married. I’ll bring the banjos.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… er… Bush.
Hmmm. I supposedly share a common ancestor with both Bush and Kerry. A Mayflower dude, no less. You’d think that would get me the secret handshake or something, but noooOOOooo. Do I get to rob billions from the Treasury? Do I get to run companies into the ground and get my ass bailed out every stinking time? Do I get to have a permanent fucking “Get Out of Jail Free” card? NooooooOOOOOOOoooooo.
Bastards.
Clearly he does not realize that this lowers his chance of scoring.
“Hey, not to brag or anything but I might be related to George Bush – Shit! Ow! Bitch, are you craz-? Shit! Stop! Aaaargh!”
Pshaw. I’m directly descended from John Hathorne, but you won’t catch me following in his footsteps.
The fact is, Adam Yoshida is more patriotic than most Americans because he supports freedom.
If you love him so much, Gary, why don’t you marry him?
Assuming you can beat George to the altar, of course.
I don’t think John Hathorne was doing quite the same thing as Muthee. Seeing as his “clients” tended to get a bit crispy and all. Oh shit – now I’m thinking about Muthee doing a John Hathorne on Palin.
Anyone got a spare 5.49 million² they can lend me?
“Over 10 Sq. miles and your own lake!” seems rather appealing, somehow.
² I’ve got around 10k of my own equity I’m willing to risk.
Mayflower, Schmaeflower.
Those dudes and dudettes have 30 million descendants now living in the US. 10% of the population has a Mayflower ancestor.
Including me – I have two, which proves I’m clearly more elite than you or Adam Yoshida. Or even Ann Althouse.
Jennifer,
So, that means you’ll show me the handshake?
justme – it’s not a handshake – it’s that hands in the air thing they do at Babble churches.
Remember, my ancestors were a bunch of religious nutjobs – that’s why England kicked them out. Thank god that part of the DNA got “left behind” before it came down to me.
Wait, when the fuck di Mario;’s pet dinosaur get a fucking newspaper gig?
Holy shit, blogs are retarded.