Wrong Josh
Posted on August 27th, 2008 by HTML Mencken
So, it turns out I don’t really have credentials. A case of mistaken identity. It’s my own fault, though. Like Spencer Ackerman just told me, when someone asks you if you’re Josh Marshall, you say yes!
I said no. I know, right? Where’s my sense of adventure?
Aw, man!
Well…you could go cover the protesters. *ducks*
Now you can sit by Michelle Malkin’s hospital bed and read Jonah’s book while she recuperates from the vicious attack she suffered at the hands of a loud version of the stapler guy from Office Space.
Dude, you know I don’t really work for the American Milk Solids Council either, right?
Tell the guards you’re John McCain’s secret physical, sexually, and emotionally abused gay son and you need to get in there and tell the world your horrible, sordid tale or being pimped out to the entire Republican leadership.
*tale *of* being pimped…
*physically
psychically would be better.
Stunt Josh to the set! Stunt Josh to the set, please!
Remind you of anyone?
Kinda reminds me of a face I’ve seen around the blogs, but I can’t quite put my finger on it…….hmmmmnnnnn.
FYWP!!
Times a million!!
mikey
i’m josh marshall!
Shalom, gentlemen.
Back from Puerto Rico.
No, I’m Josh Marshall.
What can I tell you? Honesty is its own punishment.
Oh no, he’s joined the DC clique!
Yeah, no shit. Just make some shit up. It’s a tent full of liberal bloggers, not the Pentagon.
I am Josh Marshall.
FYWP. Free Zombie Kirk Douglas!
Ya gotta be a little Brooklyn about it.
How do you know, in an alternate universe, you aren’t Josh Marshall?
We Are Marshall!!!
Gun Counter Gomer?
You’re not really HL Mencken, hiding behind a clever pseudonym? I’m devastated. Cancel my subscription.
Cancel my subscription.
Cancel your own goddam subscription.
Remind you of anyone?
Ice, Ice, Baby.
Like Spencer Ackerman just told me, when someone asks you if you’re Josh Marshall, you say yes!
Just go back and say you’re a freaky Muslim homo who wants an abortion.
As a free man, I take pride in the words “Ich bin Josh Marshall.”
Motherfucker, I wanna hang with Ackerman…
mikey
You should have said you were Amy Alkon. Coulda told ’em you had a botched boob job if they looked at you funny.
don’t Josh with us HTML.
Wait til the shift change and go back, in your suit, and tell them you’re Chuck Todd.
No one knows what that nimnul looks like, on or off the tube.
You should ALWAYS lie to Security Guards,
a) for your own amusement,
b) to stick it to The Man,
c) to validate their mall ninja self image.
Tell them you’re there to make a rush delivery for Josh Marshall. You have to drop off some blog parts or something. Fix a broken HTML tag.
Or you could just start telling everyone you wrote this comix and see how long before the real men in suits take to get there.
Um, NSFW, just sayin’.
Did somebody say mall ninja?
FWYP
Feisty Women Yell Proudly
Bad news. I’m really sorry, HTML, because I was looking forward to your live-blogging. On the other hand, I have faith you’ll come up with *something* for your fans…
OT: The knightly knews spent minutes on the four All-American Wanna-Be Assassins, complete with jailhouse interview of the one with Gollum ancestry. There’s a YouTube ad waiting to be made: Mug shots of these guys, with the tagline:
Your Modern Republican Party.
We Got Nothing.
N-U-T-H-I-N
WPYF
It presses my words and my brain!
Apparently Dr. Black is having a hard time finding a seat in the arena. Probably somebody put out the rumor that Springsteen was appearing at the Pepsi Center. Or the Decemberists. One of those.
Yes, Retardo, but do you have the sparkling wit of Josh Marshall, which hits you like a lead pipe at the base of the skull?
Damn. Maybe you could get one from this fine … er … specimen
.
Or you could just wander over to the GOP “War Room,” see what’s cooking over there.
You could say you’re Josh MacIntosh, video porn director from northridge strip mall in San Fernando Valley.
May I take a moment and say IMPEACH BUSH? I will also accept “The Hague” if you phrase your response in the form of a question.
Abort! Abort! Extraction team en route. Evade as necessary. Stand by for coordinates. Over.
And while you’re aborting, make sure to take advantage of our All-U-Can-Abort Special, available for a limited time.
Cock shit jism grandma
Oh thank Eris that JiSM3 isn’t being spam-blocked out.
Tell them you’re Josh Bernstein, exploring the secrets of the Democratic Convention………
You’re Josh Hasselbeck, third string quarterback of the Denver Broncos.
All great suggestions, but he was trying to get into the DNCC. He shoulda told them that he was Osama bin Laden or a gay abortion provider or maybe just someone who hates America. That would’ve gotten him in like Flynn.
hey all, please click on my website (that would be my name above) and for the next hour you can enjoy the comic stylings of my wife. i’m pretty sure minds will be blown.
i’ve got to take it down after that as the non-viciously-retouched version of the image you will see is going to be the cover of a national magazine in two days.
enjoy.
You doofus.
Marshall is still NYC (as far as I know – Josh sent two reporters to the convention, but stayed home himself). You could have totally gotten away with it.
So sad….
.
Um…”Die, evil spammer”? I wrote a perfectly innocuous comment, and I was greeted by the same screen that Bin Laden will see in his last moments before descending into hell. Guys, is it time for a new comment system? You know, one that doesn’t treat your most loyal visitors like the ten most f***ing wanted?
Just a thought.
WordPress should be renamed WordOppress.
robert green,
I have great difficulties turning down offers of enjoying someone else’s wife’s skills for an hour. The word “blown” also attracted my attention.
But in all seriousness – totally awesome. That last one – pure genius.
back to Boulder.
Pearl St./sushi/Japango
do it !
PENIS
Yes, I’m just trying to show off.
Paraphrasing an earlier comment: honesty is its own punishment.
Admirable – & you have my condolences, which, along with a buck or so will get you a cheap cup of coffee.
WordPress: mind-control tool of the Illuminati.
Is shit moat verbotten?
Fucking PENIS beyotches!
What the felching heck is all this about?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 27, 2008 at 7:06
[examines source of web-page for escape codes]
Jammy bastard.
Testing, testing. pud, scrotum, nipples … come on, you dumbfuck robot, just TRY & nuke this. I dare yez!
I wanna bite into a big hunk of cheese, just bite into it like it's an apple.
HOW CAN I MAKE POOP JOKES?
Is this the de-facto banning of foul-mouthed Amy Alkon?
dude, let’s go over the rules again
rule number one, don’t talk about fight club
rule number two, whoever smelt it delt it
rule number three, when someone asks if you’re a God (or Josh Marshall*) YOU SAY YES
(* the less you look like brad pitt, the better chance you have of pulling this off) (and you should be able to get away with it)
rule number four, shuffle your feet you lose your seat
rule number five, if you bring the ODed chick to my house, you give her the shot
rule number six, don’t come over with less that a 12-pak of beer
rule number seven, the customer is never right
try and keep them straight, okay ???
rule eight…I forget what eight was for.
oh great – now some of us can cuss, and some of us can’t
FIX THIS god fvcking dam it
Motherfuckin’ A… you mean WordPress is censoring Sadly, No! ?
Er, well, maybe they turned it off?
I am Josh Marshall and so is my wife.
We Are All Josh Marshall, All Of Us.
In Russia, Josh Marshall is you.
HTML, if you can’t get into the convention, ya wanna go observe the Nader “rally” (with Ralphie himself being there, and rumors of Jello Biafra as well) tonight? I was given tickets (turnout has been desperately low so they want to fill the hall somehow); one’s yours if you want it and I can even give you a ride if you need it. Nader is a tool/spoiler and I’d never vote for him, but I’ll watch the show.
Jello Biafra and Ralph Nader deserve each other. What a pair of irrelevant blowhards.
Yes, I think it will quite interesting. My friend who gave me the tickets seemed like a hard nosed realist, and then he comes up with this crap.
The good news is that ticket sales are much worse than expected, so apparently people aren’t falling for Nader’s astroturf anymore.
Unbelievable. 70 comments and I still get to say:
“Tell them you are. And if they get mad, say, “I WAS JUST JOSHING.”
Also, isn’t there a line in Ghostbusters that applies? Something like, “If someone asks if you’re a god, SAY YES.”
yo, me wonderful, see rule number three
and remember, don’t talk about fight club