So Funny I Forgot To Laugh!
Say, gang! Know what would really tickle folks’ funnybones? If we took that hoity-toity Barack Hussein Obama fella’s political slogans and mixed ’em up a bit so’s they don’t make him look so high-and-mighty! Why, that’d be a downright firecracker of a … what’s that? You say that young cut-up Ben Shapiro’s already beat us to the punch? Why I’d like to show that precocious little so-and-so what’s what, if you know what I … aw, heck. Who’m I kidding? I can’t stay mad at Ben.
pomegranate gingertini
Welp, let’s see what the clever little card’s cooked up for us on the rib-tickling front! He’s sure to have come up with some doozies!
Obama has it all. All except for one thing: a new slogan. Hope and change are all well and good, but they seem tired. After a year and a half, hope and change begin to wear thin, despite the Holy One’s profound enunciation of those shallow incantations.
And so I, a humble member of a planet dedicated to the glory and power of Barack Obama, offer the following suggestions:
When Experience, Knowledge and Honor Just Aren’t Good Enough. Vote Obama.
Hope. Change. And All That Other BS. Vote Obama.
More Experience Than a Fifth Grader. Vote Obama.
Standing Up For the Power of Horse Manure. Vote Obama.
Talking Big. Doing Nothing. Vote Obama.
This Election Is All About You. Voting for Me. Vote Obama.
Sure, I Remember Voting In the Senate That One Time. Vote Obama.
Kim Jung Il, Hamas and Fidel Castro Can’t Be Wrong. Vote Obama.
Pass the Arugula. Vote Obama.
You Say Corrupt Land Deal. I Say Creative Financing. Potaytoe, Potahtoe. Vote Obama.
Like Black People? Vote Obama.
The Man With The Iraq Plan. Yeah, The Plan That Didn’t Work. So What, Racist? Vote Obama.
Flag Pins Are Stupid. But I’m Not Unpatriotic. You Racist. Vote Obama.
Don’t Like My Pastor? Shut Up, Racist. Still Don’t Like Him? I Guess I Don’t, Either. Vote Obama.
Watch the Oceans Recede. Watch the World Make Peace. And Watch As I Saw This Woman In Half! Vote Obama.
Fooling All of the People All of the Time. Vote Obama.
Cut Military Funding. Dictators Are Nice. Vote Obama.
Yes We Can. Or Rather, I Can. Vote Obama.
Oh. Hmm. Right then. Erm … ha ha … oh my, will you look at the time?!? Ha ha … unh-hunh … yes, best be off. Toodles!
Third grade is such a trying time for the kids, isn’t it?
What? Those are funny! Especially that one up there. The one that was really creative! You know, the one about Obama? Eh?
Is Ben married and still a virgin?
Hey everyone, look at me! I’m Ben Shapiro and I like to french my sister.
Oh, I forgot the tagline:
Vote Obama!
Now it’s funny…
“He’s just jealous” could be the winning low-information counterpunch of the election. It fits everything McCain and his supporters say or do.
Of course he’s still a virgin, he’s a humble member.
I am so sorry Ben. There just isn’t any space on the fridge for your new masterpiece.
I’ll take “talking big and doing nothing” over “talking big and ruining several countries.”
Hate Black People? Vote McCain.
God, this idiot really makes it way too easy.
Like Black People? Vote Obama.
Um. What?
Is there a converse to this formulation, Ben? You little piece of snot…
mikey
Well, they ARE funny, albeit not in the way Ben presumably intended them.
(I haven’t been keeping up: he’s still a proud virgin? He’s what, twenty-five? I kinda thought he would have been part of some sort of creepy Townhall-arranged marriage by now)
The Man With The Iraq Plan. Yeah, The Plan That Didn’t Work. So What, Racist? Vote Obama.
Still trying to figure that one out. A little help, please?
Y’know, if I was gonna lose a tie with just about anyone on the intert00bz, I’d want them to self-identify as “commie atheist”.
Warms the cockles of my heart…
mikey
Mikey, I’m honored.
Change we can believe in changing!
The sad part is that it probably took Ben all day to come up with that list.
Ben, Ben, Ben. Demure virgins? Look either they’re ultra-fly hiphop honeys to reinforce the fact that Barry’s melanin enhanced or mezzo-sopranos all flower-dueting it up, cause he’s teh eleeteeistest.
The Man With The Iraq Plan. Yeah, The Plan That Didn’t Work. So What, Racist? Vote Obama.
You know. The guy who thought aggressively and illegally invading and occupying a sovereign nation with whom we were at peace, kinda like Pearl Harbor, was a shitty idea and might be something we’d come to regret.
And if you disagree with this sentiment you’re clearly just a racist.
mikey
I’d say he’s phoning it in, but for Ben, this is really trying.
‘Strange We Can Believe In’ … ???
‘Mange We Can Believe In’ … ???
‘Spare Change We Can Believe In’ … ???
‘Sex Change We Can Believe In’ … ???
‘Change Me Can Deceive, Spin’ … ???
Not that those are very good, mind you, but jesus it’s not too difficult.
.You know. The guy who thought aggressively and illegally invading and occupying a sovereign nation with whom we were at peace, kinda like Pearl Harbor, was a shitty idea and might be something we’d come to regret.
Now now. Japan had every right to bomb Pearl Harbor. And to invade us. We should have realized they were just trying help, and liberate us from our government and install a better one they knew we would prefer if we just gave them a chance.
Why does this feel like a losing candidate in the weekly contest to be published at The Onion. I mean, it’s irony, no satire, well, self-parody-parody, maybe, uh, shit.
Like Black People? Vote Obama.
But Republicans don’t play the race card, how dare you accuse them of it!
Ben, Ben, Ben. Demure virgins?
See, it’s funny because the liberals are already sacrificing virgins to their new god. Obama loves virgins.
Racist!
but for Ben, this is really trying.
It’s certainly trying me.
Figgity fuck. In this world of mis-spoke this and mis-spoke that and the hortatory subjunctive and on the same day as McCain does not speak for McCain. Into this climate you want to attack the most eloquent politician for who knows how long over his words. Grow a brain – moran.
I really thought he’d get a bit less puerile once he’d enjoyed marital relations. Glad I didn’t put money on it.
Also, I could kick myself for not downloading the pics of Mr. Benny Shapiro amongst his brethren at the Bruin Republican bashes before they were taken down. Seriously, they are a bunch of drunks in t-shirts and two slightly dressed blondes are having serial GGW moments and he’s sitting there in a suit with an uncomfortable grin, his entire body folding in on itself. Did anyone get these?
The fact is, I don’t like black people. You can’t make me. You can’t say I’m a ‘rascist’ and smear me. I can like who I want and vote for who I want in the land of freedom, even if the liberal media tries to make me vote for an uppity phony.
I’m with McCain, and I’m with America.
P.S. Ben’s column is funny, much funny than any so called liberal humor. Learn.
Watch As I Saw This Woman In Half!
It’s twue! It’s twue!
When Experience, Knowledge and Honor Just Aren’t Good Enough.
Wait a minute. Wasn’t that Bush’s slogan in ’04?
The fact is, Obama fans are brainwashed and personality cultists. Unlike us, here in the heartland, we support McCain for his Straight Talk, and we supported Bush because he kept us safe and restored dignity to the White House after that Clinton spoiled things. Obama in the White house is an affront to all things USA. It won’t happen. It’s can’t happen. It will only happen if the Dems cheat, and then a patriot mob will have to restore teh COnstitution and legitimite government by force if necessary.
I don’t have a word for the depths he’s plumbed here. I threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Also, I am willing to drive the Flip-Flop Express!
The fact is, here in the heartland, we support McCain and conservative traditional values. We’re not with the mulatto Hollywierd left crowd Obama represents. People like Obama do not know their place and should not presume to the office that he does not deserve. If he is elected it will be a fraud and we will not stand for it here in the heartland.
“Hope & Change are tired and thin… vote McCain!”
Also, did I miss some mockery? Because if the “McCain does not speak for McCain” thing has not been mocked here yet, it needs to be… Actually, maybe it’s just too easy to mock that. It kinda mocks itself.
The fact is, McCain is awesome. All these smears from the Obamaist, far left radical USA haters have no logic or facts. John McCain is my choice, and the Heartland’s choice, for our next leader and commander in chief. Obama hates the military and snubbed them, he wants them to lose.
It won’t happen. It’s can’t happen. It will only happen if the Dems cheat, and then a patriot mob will have to restore teh COnstitution and legitimite government by force if necessary.
When you write the new history books, make me a hero.
Changed Adult Diapers We Can Believe In … Vote McCain!
The fact is, Obama is anti-USA. He hates America and his wife does even more. He is biased against traditional values and the free market, and is corrupt chicago dem machine product all the way. He would make our children love blacks and gays. We cannot have a black president, there will be another civil war over it. And the Heartland will win.
Wow, Ben’s lost his own narrative:
Wha-huh? Because Neville Chamberlain was such a rockstar? Because he was such a hit with the ladies? Oh the whole appeaser thing. Well fuck Ben, if’n you were gonna bring that up, couldn’t you have at least telegraphed it with some fake slogan like:
Think the Islamofascists should have Czechoslovakia? Vote Obama!
The fact is, Obama supports gay marriage, and NAMBLA. He wants the ACLU to take guns away from patriots, and let anti-Chrisitans ban the bible, and give the UN the right to force us to destroy our economy in the name of the fake global warming controversy. McCain will preserve the steadt leadership that Bush has done, and contrinute to grow USA power and freedom. Obama will surrender to terrorists.
“McCain! HE hasn’t changed in 50 years!”
Makeup That At Least I Don’t Plaster On Like Trollop, You Cunt Believe In! … Vote McCain
The fact is, facts and logic elude the libs and dems and leftists who want to destroy our nation, our culture and our religion, which is Christian, not Muslim. Why liberals support a death cult that mandates killing of the gay allies is beyond me. However, homosexuality should be illegal, as interractial reproduction. It would improve the economy and test scores. I trust McCain to keep USA greatness, and Obama will only make the USA fail to please his European and Third World buddies.
McCain – Countrywide First.
John McCain is my choice, and the Heartland’s choice, for our next leader and commander in chief.
Well, after we couldn’t have Huckabee and Romney and Fred Thompson, before that we hated McCain and his flippity flopping and his brown children and his love of dirty mexicans and his questioning our lobbyist deals. But then, when he was the only choice, we squawked a little bit and and gagged and spit, but then we were fully on board. Unless the chickenshit bastard even puts raising payroll taxes on the table, then we’ll fold out from under him like a KMart card table and run to Bob Barr…
mikey
Straight Talk and No Action! Vote McCain!
You know. The guy who thought aggressively and illegally invading and occupying a sovereign nation with whom we were at peace, kinda like Pearl Harbor, was a shitty idea and might be something we’d come to regret.
I especially like the way that a plan that was never implemented, failed. That’s some kind of plan.
Oh, Ben, you’re what the Spaniards call el Terrible.
“Pass the Arugula. Vote Obama. ”
The Daily Show needs to snap Virgin Ben up pronto!
Larry, I just want everyone in America to know him, not only the American hero that you know, but the loving husband and father that I see every day. I know that he is ready to lead be-be-be-be-be-before we begin our little luncheon, I just want to thank our hostess for inviting us…
Is the Gary Ruppert robot broken?
Women like a guy who can make them laugh.
This explains the whole “Virgin Ben” thing.
I tied an onion to my belt – Vote McCain!
Get offa my lawn and vote McCain
What’s rich is the same fucktards who have been worshipping the corpse of St. Ronnie since before he was even dead are now accusing Democrats of creating a personality cult.
Ben hasn’t joined the Corps yet for his tour in Iraq?
what a surprise…
I can’t stay mad at Ben.
I know what you mean. It’s like being mad at the dog after he poops the carpet. He couldn’t help himself and there was all this dog shit building up and he had to let it out somewhere. I guess we should remember to walk Ben more often.
That’s the worst attempt at humour I’ve seen since Lieutenant Hauk from Good Morning Vietnam.
“In my heart, I know I’m funny.”
Limp like you- Vote McCain!
Hope is despair.
Change is stagnation.
War is peace.
Ignorance is strength.
Vote McCain.
Fixed.
Hey, at least Ben’s not plagiarizing anymore. That’s pretty obvious.
Because I admitted to taking Keating’s dough after I got caught, I’m a hero: Vote McCain!
Dear Cthulhu! I was tooling around in the ATL and tuned to the Herman Cain show when I heard a thin, almost pubescent voice coming from the speakers. “OK, so what third-rate hack did they dig up to sub for Cain?”
Lo and behold, the Allegedly Former Virgin Ben Shapiro. I wish I had links to it, but he was doing this same friggin’ list and encouraging listeners to call in with their own high-larious slogans. Maybe if we’re lucky enough someone will have recorded it for posterity. Laugh. A. Minute.*
*though as previously stated, not for the intended reason.
CALLER: “Oh yeah? I think Barack is stupid. Damn Muslim.”
CALLER: “How ’bout, ‘Oh, look at me, I’m Barack Obama, I think I’m hot stuff, la-di-da gimme all your money!”
CALLER: “I think Obama’s new slogan ort to be, like, ‘Change you can hope the terrorist don’t, um, you know, get what they want ’cause Obama’ll give it to ’em!”
“Way smarter than me. Vote Obama!”
Obama’s Iraq plan that didn’t work out was the one not to invade Iraq. But we did invade. Therefore his plan did not work. And I am not a racist for pointing that out, you cultists.
…encouraging listeners to call in with their own high-larious slogans.
Did any of them call in with death threats because he said the words “Vote Obama”?
Further proof that conservatives should always leave humor to people who actually understand it.
Oh, and third grade is waaay too generous. This is kindergarten bullshit that might impress the 4 year olds.
Hey, at least Ben’s not plagiarizing anymore. That’s pretty obvious.
Different Ben.
Different Ben.
Oh, whoops – I made the same mistake. But still, absence of evidence is not evidence of absence – it would be irresponsible not to speculate, etc.
Well, I imagine that’s central to your point, isn’t it?
Gary sez: The fact is, I don’t like black people. You can’t make me. You can’t say I’m a ‘rascist’ and smear me.
Well, Gary, we can’t say you’re a “rascist” because there isn’t any such thing — at least, not in the normal world where normal people can, you know, spell their own language. You are, however, an idiot who dislikes other people based on nothing except skin color, so you ARE a racist and a bigot.
No change you can believe in. Vote McCain
4 More Years! Vote McCain
Just lie back, spread your legs and enjoy it. Vote McCain
I don’t speak for my campaign, so vote McCain.
Anyone up for Craps? Vote McCain
Well, I imagine that’s central to your point, isn’t it?
Yes, the fact that this Ben hasn’t been caught plagiarizing strengthens my belief that he is, in fact, a plagiarist.
Or does it? He doesn’t seem bright enough not to get caught.
That proves he’s lucky.
Did any of them call in with death threats because he said the words “Vote Obama”?
Unfortunately not. However, Ben did spend an inordinate amount of time talking about the fact that he is married now, and two of his segments were “Is Cheating On Your Spouse A Liberal Plot To Destroy Marriage?” and “Are Women Smarter Than Men?” Make of it what you will.
Oh I get it now! Vitter, Craig, Gingrich, etc. were just poor helpless victims of a liberal plot to destroy their marriages.
Oh I get it now! Vitter, Craig, Gingrich, etc. were just poor helpless victims of a liberal plot to destroy their marriages.
Yeah, pretty much. He was reading something posted secondhand on the Huffington Post by a woman who cheated on her husband because she felt he was ignoring her, and after ending the affair her husband reconciled by apologizing to her.
He read it in a snide, womanly manner and said liberal views of marriage centered around “finding oneself”. Funny, when I got married, I believed it was about the coming together of two parts to form a whole; the “you complete me” principle, if you will. But what do I know? I’m just some hippy liberal.
The fact is, liberals want to destroy everything good about America and replace with an immoral vaccuum, ready for muslim conquest.
I have some ideas of my own for slogans:
“You can’t be conservative and funny. You just can’t.”
“I was gonna say that Dennis Miller has nothing to worry about, but he’s not funny either.”
“Think mink. Get it? It’s a rhyme.”
It’s entirely possible that Ben’s still a virgin. Vote Obama!
“My Friends” Till the End. Vote McCain.
Knows How to Win Wars. Wouldn’t You Like to Know Too? Quid Pro Quo, America. Vote McCain.
Things That You Use Every Day Are Still a Mystery to Him. Vote McCain.
Let Me Guess, Obama Graduated in the Top 97% of His Class. Elitist. Vote McCain.
Wow, Look at Him Flying Above Us! Wait, Ummm, He Doesn’t Seem to Be a Very Good Pilot. Oh, That Wasn’t Good! Ummm…. Vote for McCain’s VP.
with an immoral vaccuum, ready for muslim conquest.
Recommended for Persian rugs.
ZOMG, Gary, it’s teh Golden Horrde! GET IN THE CAR!!!1!11!!!!one!!!!
an immoral vaccuum
What sort of morals should a vaccuum have? Apart from welcoming Muslim conquest, of course. Do many of our everyday household appliances harbor ill will towards America and pro-Islamonazicommiefeminazigaynaziblacknazinazi nazifacist sympathies? My brother has a rice cooker. I bet it does.
It’s entirely possible that Ben’s still a virgin.
Reckon his bride was a virgin, too? I generally have no desire to get that personal with anyone, but Ben’s whole reason de something or other was that he’d never gotten him some of that good lovin’, so I don’t feel so gauche in pondering it. Man, just imagine the amount of crying that went on that night.
So heterosexual, we forgot to order a frozen pomegranate gingertini
You meanies.
Ben and the little woman have tried sex a couple of times and decided that it’s overrated, but he thinks he’ll keep her. Vote McCain.
Reckon his bride was a virgin, too?
If so, there’s a good chance Ben still is. They’re probably too embarrassed to ask how to – um, you know.
“Fooling All of the People All of the Time. Vote Obama.”
pret-ty obvious that Non-People like ben are not being fooled, though…
Online conservative pundits… Not good at writing, not good at humour, not good at ANYTHING.
Could the benefits of the Internet be offset by the freedom it gives to have incompetent people a forum to write badly?
I hope the grammar was OK, there. This is just a lowly comment so good writing doesn’t count.
If they had only let me fly one more fighter plane, I could had been an ace pilot in Vietnam, war hero, admiral and then eventually secretary general of the communist party. Suck on that Ho-Chi-Min!
hey you bitch, you used to be pretty but then you had a car accident and shriveled up so i left you for a rich heiress who later i would call a cunt. vote mccain.
Vote McLame for StarFeet, beaches!
Or the lizard’ll eatcha!
McCain 2008
“Change of Depends You Can Believe In”
“It Depends on the Change You Believe In”
” I Prefer Paper Money To Change”
“Obama is a Scary Negro” Wait, was that last one out loud? I never said that. Why are you playing the race card?
Those wingnuts love John McCain so much, they just can’t stop talking about Obama.
So Far I’ve Only Blown Up One American Aircraft Carrier, Killing 134 US Servicemen and Wounding Sixty. Vote McCain.
Hmmm….
How ’bout: “Vote Obama, Sweetie.”? Ooooh, burn.
…Cuz you know, “sweetie” >= “cunt”
(and at that very moment of lousy snark, a puma was born…)
Vote McLame for StarFeet, beaches!
Or the lizard’ll eatcha!
Space Lizards for McCain!
McCain: Keeping you gated, safe and comfortable, with an active lifestyle. On Tuesday’s there is Jello.
Got hetero nup’d and everything and STILL a virgin? Vote MCcain.
Good evening Bruno Kirby, where ever you are.
Little Ben looks so emo in that picture.
You want weak a weak slogan? The McCain Report, one of the McCain campaign’s official blogs, is called “The McCain Report: A Blog You Can Believe In.”
Even for subtitles they have to imitate.
The McCain Report? Oy.
Well, there are the people that brought you “McCainSpace”….
John McCain. He’s not that old.
It takes only 8 years to ruin a country but it takes 12 to kill it. Vote McCain.
An immoral vacuum? Is that anything like a Fleshlight?
Acquaintance’s three year old son: “I’ve got THOMAS underwear on because I’m a REALLY REALLY BIG BOY and I go POOP in the POTTY!”
Ben Shapiro: “I’ve got McCain underwear on because I’m a REALLY REALLY BIG BOY and I go POOP on OBAMA”
I really thought he’d get a bit less puerile once he’d enjoyed marital relations. Glad I didn’t put money on it.
Mrs. Virgin Shapiro’s pre-nup specified she could “have a headache” until a genuine conservative was occupying the Oval Office. Then she got a look at Little Ben, and realized she needn’t have bothered.
Of course the Rethugs already know the limitations of relying upon “demure virgins”, which is why they’re running an ad featuring Obama standing next to a greyscale-enhanced Brandenburg Column while they talk about the two sluttiest young blondes on the current celebrity circuit.
“Barack Obama: Still Black. John McCain: Totally NOT Black, and he’s got the history of melanoma to prove it.”
Did Ben miss the RNC email that Obama=arrogant this week?
So … I’m guessing Ben made this list as a tryout for a writing gig with Mallard Fillmore … and it was rejected.
Take it to Prickly City, pal. Never give up. Never surrender.
Graduated 894/899 and crashed 4 planes. Keating 5. Republican qualified. Vote McCain.
McCain, I only fathered one black daughter, Obama has two!
McCain: Would you want this guy piloting your jet? NO? Well, would you like him to be President?
But what does his unibrow think? That’s what I want to know.
I just cannot get past Ben’s suggestion of “Like Black People? Vote Obama!”
How does anyone, even a guy whose brains are as dead as his loins, excuse that kind of blunt-force offensiveness? Did he forget to look up the word “subliminal” after reading the Republican talking points memo about working the subliminal racism angle?
Jesus Christ, did you guys see this? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7536486.stm
Hmmm…does that include himself?
“Like Black People? Vote Obama.”
This actually sounds more like a winger campaign slogan to me.
Why haven’t Shappy and the Day by Day guy crossed the power beams and made a super ginormous funny cartoon strip. The talent is there just rotting in the sun.
Can function without a soul? Become a pundit.
Black black blackety blackety black black black Muslim? Vote Obama.
Shapiro is scum. And he’s not even funny. When he tries to be, he just reveals how much of a jerk he is.
I understand now why Ben Shapiro took a week to assemble that list. It wasn’t until after a good night’s sleep that I came up with:
McCain – Now Melanoma-Free!
Like Hillary, but a-scared of Knee-Grows? Flexible value system? Vote McCain
How old is McCain? A hundred years? Maybe a thousand? – Experience you can believe in.
Shouldn’t Damien have made more of a name for himself by now? This is evil and all, but not quite up to antichrist.
Why doesn’t McCain ever mention his white grandmother?
Also, I demand to see John McCain birth certificate. My sources tell me it lists him as “white”.
I feel the need to respond with some potential McCain ’08 slogans, possibly because I haven’t had my coffee.
“Get Off My Lawn”
“Not Abraham Simpson!”
“Because we can’t let that Kaiser Wilhelm guy run free!”
“Give me the fucking launch codes!”
“Because I really suck at lying.”
“I invented the internet!”
“How do you use that computer thingie again?”
“Hey, everyone could use a second job!”
“Did I mention I’m not Abraham Simpson? Why is that cloud laughing at me?”
“Real men marry into riches.”
“Fuck you, smart people!”
Vote John McCain: They’re not tumors, they’re extra manliness!
Not Good at Economics. Vote John McCain.
John McCain: Leading our nation into the future with his blinker on.
Sunni? Shi’a? Don’t Know and Don’t Care – Vote McCain.
From the new McCain Ad, defending himself from charges of being just like W:
J-Mac ’08: He’s what the really ludacrous wants.
Freedom! I will not rest until the lawns of this great nation are free of damn kids. Vote McCain.
Punks like you just blow my mind.
You’re all just one of a kind.
Going nowhere real fast.
Hey punks get off the grass.
Who in the hell do you think you are.
I’m queen of punk and you better know who you really are.
Going nowhere real fast.
Hey punks get off the grass.
You can’t hitch you’re wagon to a star.
Cause I’m a star and you better know who you are.
Going nowhere real fast.
Hey punks get off the grass.
Sincerity counts when you’re talking to me.
You don’t see what you can be.
Going nowhere real fast.
Don’t you see going nowhere real fast.
Hey punks *hahaha* get off the grass.
Punks like you just blow my mind.
You’re all just one of a kind.
Going nowhere real fast.
Hey punks get off the grass.
(RIP, Edith Massey)
What a brooding pic! Like somebody thinking about getting a piercing, but who will wuss out and end up with a fake tattoo. From a Cracker Jack box.
You want hope and change, vote for the other guy. Cunt. Vote McCain!
Incontinence, not inconstancy: Changelessness you can Depend on! Vote McCain!
Luke, I am you father. Turn to the Dark Side… Vote McCain!
I am a black criminal, and I have performed the deeds of an air pirate. Vote McCain!
It’s a terrible thing to say.
But I would thoroughly enjoy yanking this twerp’s teeth out with pliers.
So you think that’s funny? That’s not funny. I know funny. Go work the Borscht Belt for a couple of years, you little putz.
Judging from that picture I would bet that lil’ Ben-Ben has taken a turn or two around his living room dressed only in his shirt, chonies and socks whilst holding a microphone.
An immoral vacuum? A dirt devil?
You’re an ignorant idiot who’s chastity crusade has been thrust upon them. Vote McCain
That should be “whose.”
Poor Ben. Put on his best suit for that photo, and Zach Quinto got the part of Spock anyway.
I’m up at 3 a.m. every night. Worrying about you and, well, because of the prostate. McCain 2008.
I’ll reach across the aisle to avoid the divisiveness that could cause another Civil War. The first one ruined my senior prom. Vote McCain.
I have moles older than the other guy. McCain Forever.
You want black? Check out my soul. McCain.
If you turn the Bat Signal upside down, it’s an M. McCain Hunts at Night!
I’ve Fallen and I CAN Get Up. McCain 08!
I don’t do hip, I break em. McCain is FUCKING OLD. Vote for him!
Experience you can scare children with. McCain 2008.
Obama: “You know, it comes from all sides. Why just the other day, I was implicitly criticized in an article because I’m in shape and because I’m skinny. Abe Lincoln was skinn…”
McCain: “I knew Abe Lincoln. Abe Lincoln was a friend of mine. And you, sir are no Abe Lincoln.”
Vote McCain in 1888.
Man that kids eyes… he looks like Damien the Omen.
I’ll defend marriage, just not that marriage- Vote McCain
Blackety Black Hussien Obama The Dusky Negro scares you with his radical brownness? Vote McCain- It’d be mighty white of you.
Comment #76, by Mrs. Paddy:
Oof.
What do you call a black man running for president?
Obama, you racist!
I know how to bomb. Vote McCain.
Did I ever mentioned I was a war hero who was tortured by the Commies? Vote McCain.
White. Vote McCain.
This thread has more pure win than one pair of eyes deserve.
I feel like they’ve got lips instead of eyelids – OM NOM NOM NOM.
—————-
*Payola you can believe in – Vote McCain!
*Very Popular In Czechlosovakia – Vote McCain!
*You’re Not The Boss Of Me, & Neither Am I – Vote McCain!
*Thinking Is For Homo Terrorists – Vote McCain!
*Patriot Act 3 Is The One With The Magic Ponies – Vote McCain!
*Put Me In, Or I’ll Make This Rich-Bitch Trophy-Wife Cry – Vote McCain!
*Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb-Bomb Iran … Make It #1 With A Bullet: Vote McCain!
*Shi’a, Schmi’a – I’ll Figure That Shit Out Later: Vote McCain!
*I’ll Edit America Like The Networks Edit My Interviews: McCain 2008!
*Bush Doctrine + Unresolved Anger Issues = Global Non-Stop Excitement: Vote McCain!
*I May Not Believe In Armageddon, But I Can Always Play Along: Vote McCain!
*A Leader Even Your Dog Can Outwit – Vote McCain!
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Whew, that was wild ……… I know it’s not PC, but can I smoke afterwards?
lol, you can’t forget to laugh, it’s so funny.