19
The Pluperfect Malkin
A drama in three leanly-wrought acts:
Jimmy Carter math
By Michelle Malkin
December 19, 2006 11:26 AMJimmy Carter says he has signed more than 100,000 books during his book tour.
Book publishing insider Brad Miner’s B.S. detector has been activated.
Update: Whoops.
A work in progress:
Retraction: “Jamil Hussein”
By Michelle Malkin
December 18, 2006 11:04 AMA few minutes ago, I posted an update to the Jamil Hussein story. My source just informed me that he had incorrect information. I’m removing the post. I’ll update as soon as I know more.
Update: Marc Danziger reports the results of his investigation.
A spoiler for those who wish to skip ahead: The Iraqi police officer’s correct name is Jamail Hussein, not ‘Jamil.’ So, in regard to Malkin & Co.’s weeks-long hurricane tantrum accusing the Associated Press of using a nonexistent source in order to help spread enemy propaganda: Whoops.
Also, previously: Whoops.
A treatise on fairness:
Not everyone’s a winner
By Michelle Malkin
December 18, 2006 09:29 AMIn all its breathless purple prose about the “new digital democracy” and the “unmediated free-for-all” on YouTube, Time magazine ignores certain citizen journalists and overlooks those who have been banned from participating for expressing unpopular views.
Above: certain citizen journalists
Oh, we remember some things as well. 2006 has been a remarkable year for ol’ Michelle, filled as it’s been with the suicide of one of her targets, an admirer’s arrest for serial domestic terrorism, a lot of jumping up and down and yelling, and steaming plates of crow apparently served with onion rings.
Let us be among the first to congratulate the intrepid citizen-journalists of the WingNet.
PS: After Michelle bit the onion ring, it resembled a crescent…a crescent…a crescent…
Irony said,
December 19, 2006 at 19:55
my work is not yet done
Roxanne said,
December 19, 2006 at 20:09
That shit sandwich gets bigger as the week progresses.
reverter said,
December 19, 2006 at 20:40
OK, I saw exactly 0 citizen journalists in that picture — oh! you meant the onion ring? That’s still only one!
Otto Man said,
December 19, 2006 at 20:50
Does this mean her trip to Iraq is off? Damn.
mikey said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:06
Ketchup on an onion ring? Ok, now I KNOW she’s evil…
mikey
Roxanne said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:23
Yet with all the backtracking she needs to do, she still found time for
Black Man Guilty of Wrong-Doing. Must credit Malkin!
Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:36
Malkin and her husband clearly have worked this through, and figured that a small Asian woman can toss grenades indiscriminately where a white Jewish man would be considered nothing especially special, and certainly nothing new. When I read the news stories about the chancellor’s suicide, I thought that someone should make Malkin look at the photographs taken of where the woman’s body landed.
Worse–yes, worse–the Malkins have two children. Do they teach them that actions have consequences? Who’s raising the Malkinites, the illegal immigrant in the Malkin’s basement?
Pinko Punko said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:49
Why must you slay me so? I’m gonna get fired ya know. To let you know how degenerate my stomach is, not even that pic could put me off an onion ring.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:55
Why must you slay me so?
I’m gonna get fired ya know.
I spew out my lunches
In partly-chewed bunches
All cuzza that Sadly, No!
Col Bat Guano said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:57
Is it possible that Michelle Malkin is a member of Abu Sayyaf, the Philipino offshoot of Al Qaeda? My proof? Well, what would be a better cover? It would be irresponsible not to speculate wouldn’t it?
Pinko Punko said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:03
RB just made my day!
Righteous Bubba said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:04
There once was a girl called Michelle
Who detected a horrible smell
From the liberal press
Who’d made a big mess
Of the, oops, wait, that’s not right, oh well.
mikey said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:09
My Turn:
While perusing the nets I found malkin
Seems she had the whole blogosphere talkin
But it was the same old song
Once again, she was wrong
But you know that won’t shut up her squawkin
mikey
Jay B. said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:19
Wait, why is she trying to hypnotize that poor onion ring?
teh l4m3 said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:20
There once was a woman on HotAir
Who for the truth had not a care
Her husband’s a dolt
Illegals make her bolt
And she argues for internment with flair.
ironicname said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:31
MIchelle is, and always will be, my very favorite serious compasionate non-racist reality based citizen anchor baby journalist. I know that if we ever meet we’ll be BFF.
But, I also like Pammy Atlas. How to decide?
I’m not a big fan of PPV sprting events, but I’d pay a whopping great load of cash to watch her and Atlas Pam in a no holds barred 5 round jello wrestling match. I think that would offer both these lovely conservative sirens the perfect venue to express their reasoned viewpoints in a manner we can all understand. I could then decide using a “reality based” standard.
It would only be better if we could get Marie Jon’ and Laura Ingrahm to partner up. We could then watch the tag team event of the century.
RubDMC said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:34
But after she took that onion ring out of her mouth, it was tied up in a knot.
punkinsmom said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:58
I like ketchup on my onion rings. But the only thing I can tie in a knot in my mouth is the proverbial cherry stem. If Ms Malkin can indeed hypnotize that onion ring into a knot, perhaps she can hypnotize her readers into not seeing all her errors. Oh. Wait.
Dan Someone said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:59
That little Michelle’s quite a scamp;
Finding news bias makes her all damp.
And though it would be wrong
To mention ping-pong,
She gets hot for an internment camp.
TS said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:11
There’s right-wing ass I would tap
Not Malkin’s, I don’t want the clap
Maybe M. Ham
Sans diaphram
But not a cervical cap
thelogos said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:12
Hmm….MM is Filipino, there is an Al-Qeda branch that is also Filipino. She has been connected in the death of at least one natural born American, and the terrorizing of others. I thin kit’s time to send her to Gitmo.
Dr. Squid said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:35
I liked the comment from the Malkin freak that claims that it’s impossible to sign your name 40 times an hour.
God, but they’re slow on the uptake. No wonder they lost.
fabbo said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:41
I liked the comment from the Malkin freak that claims that it’s impossible to sign your name 40 times an hour.
Maybe there’s a deficient gene somewhere in the wingnut code. That’s why Rumsfeld bought that whatsit to sign his name to all those next-of-kin letters to military families.
Dear Sir or Madam…
(sigh)
Righteous Bubba said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:47
Conservative sex is demonstrably dirty
It’s sin when a fascist girl’s sexy and flirty
So I got drunk at a GOP function, alas
And woke with Mark Foley snuggling my ass.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:54
Liberals are full of shit
mikey said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:54
I’m not even drunk and I’m trying to read
This trailer park pundit’s conservative screed
And now that I’ve finished my racist book-learning
I’m going out on the ‘net to check on the kerning
mikey
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:54
Scoops… troops… whoops…
Nearly there, but I need more coffee.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:11
That Malkin girl’s got all the scoops
About Democrats hatin’ the troops
She takes all the news in
Chews, swallows and grins
And poops. Should be longer, right? Whoops.
Snowwy said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:12
So there’s this dumb blogger named Malkin.
NYT reporters she was stalkin’.
Christian gave her the shiv,
Told us all where she lived;
A bitchslapping worthy of Walken
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:14
In all its breathless purple prose about the “new digital democracy� and the “unmediated free-for-all� on YouTube, Time magazine ignores certain citizen journalists and overlooks those who have been banned from participating for expressing unpopular views.
We remember.
You tell ‘em, Michelle. The person of the year isn’t You; it’s an Army of Davids. As Malkin wrote back in March, “Buy a copy and join the revolution!”
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:14
Sadly No, snark on the fly
reading the comments, teh funny hits the eye
But then you know,
you’ll encounter a troll,
Say what you will, they sure like pie!
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:15
Malkin’s hot off the press with the scoops
Seems that Reuters is airbrushing our troops
The one thats missing his head?
He’s not really dead
“The funerals next week?” Sorry, Whoops
mikey
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:33
From Jaron Lanier’s Time magazine piece Gavin links above:
So when is the Sadly, No! commentariat going to start seeing dividends from the sales at the Sad Cafe?
Swetlana Maßat said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:30
This is a very neat application. It is really interesting. Instantly useful for me.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:35
A young would-be pundit named Jess
Found his views simply failed to impress
So when he got older
He created the brown Coulter
It sure pays to spread hate in a dress
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:36
Namestealers are lame.
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:41
Shoelimpy and Annie like Pie!
Can’t find their ass with a flashlight, but they try
Though lacking a clue
They do what they do
But their pie doesn’t bother this guy!
mikey
Pinko Punko said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:44
So seriously, kids, what do all your greasemonkey’d scripts end up saying?
PIE PIE PIE PIE, PIE PIE, PIE?
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:52
I take it back Mikey. I hope Christmas brings you what you deserve. I hope it brings you nightmares from which you wake up screaming, I hope you relive every bad memory of your life and I hope you have a rotten Christmas.
Trying to be nice to you is like trying to be nice to a scorpion and giving it a lift across a river….you’re total garbage. You’re trash and I bet you were never in the armed forces cuz they weed out scum like you from day one.
I hope you die soon, Mikey, screaming in pain. You are a fucking piece of shit. Your mother is a whore and your father is a drunk who will both rot in Hell if they aren’t already.
As will you.
And Pinko, for starting all this, I take back my forgiveness. May you rot as well.
Naked lunch said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:52
I would love to be a fly on the wall when Hussein was told a woman from the USA was flying over personally to confirm 5 dead bodies out probably 10’s of thousand this guy has seen. No not with CNN, Reuters, the BBC. Just some bitch with a blog.
Snowwy said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:58
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAahahahahahahahahaaaaa! AnnieAngel hits the wall!
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:02
Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing,
Oh wasn’t that a dainty dish to set before the king?
The king was in his counting house counting out his money,
The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey
The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes,
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose!
Kathleen said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:25
Pocketful of Rye is a great Miss Marple mystery.
that is all.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:27
Not a surprise that SadlyNo wants to avoid the fact that Barack Obama’s past is being exposed, and that his soft stand on radical Islam is being exposed.
As well, the parts of his story that he’s not revealing are being exposed, like the possibility that he was indoctrinated in Muslim schools until he was a teenager.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:27
mikey,
You have got to get annie’s reasoned discourse and measured response printed on a T-shirt to wear with pride. Good Job!
I can just see it.
“annieangels christmas prayer”
That is some high quality invective.
Dog bless us everyone.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:28
So seriously, kids, what do all your greasemonkey’d scripts end up saying?
Look. It really cheers me up when I see it, but for its positive worth and not its intended removal of an annoyance.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:28
Old grammarians never die… they just switch to the pluperfect tense.
PS Time for AA to lay off the eggnog.
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:30
It’s all that pie.
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:31
She’s my cherry pie
Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
Tastes so good
Make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:31
As well, the parts of his story that he’s not revealing are being exposed, like the possibility that [Gary Ruppert] was indoctrinated in Muslim schools until he was a teenager.
Gavin M. said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:33
Annie is trying to be banned!
Annie, talk to the hand.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:36
Hmmm…Gavin…Linda Lavin…
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:37
Also … Humble Pie!
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:38
Gary. Muslims are not our enemy. The few thousand of them who might try to harm Americans should be recognized as our enemies, but it’s only you racist nutjobs who have decided that Muslims are all evil, even good Americans. Kind of sickening, that level of racial hatred, but you gotta recognize that most of us non-wingnuts don’t share it with you…
mikey
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:39
I am EGREGIOUS dammit, Gavin!
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:41
Also… I Don’t Need No Doctor!11!
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:47
Annie is trying to be banned!
Annie A, talk to the hand.
On a website called Sadly,
Her behaviour was Badly,
But the last line of the poem never scanned.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:48
No disrespect meant to the good Herr Doktor, who of course we do need.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:49
Also … Mikey Dread!1!!!!allwholenumbersgreaterthan0andsmallerthan2!
(this has very little to do with pie, unfortunately)
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:55
You mean Mikey Dread!1eleven!!
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:58
Speaking of the Malkintentsâ„¢, I have some good news on the shrieking harpy front.
Pammy is now at the top of the list when you google shrieking harpy.
Average wingnut said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:01
You are all racists for even mentioning her.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:03
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saFHchpjlsw
All liberals are rasict assholes. It’s axiomatic.
tigrismus said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:03
“By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them. Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name? Did we not drive out demons in your name? Did we not do mighty deeds in your name?’ Then I will declare to them solemnly, ‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you evildoers.’”
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:08
I’m not perfect, just forgiven. I’m saved and Jesus forgives me for being human. That’s why He died for me. I am nowhere near perfect, I am not Jesus. But I love Him and He loves me and we both HATE you. :)
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:09
Pie 3:16
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:14
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:17
Luke 10:25-37
The Parable of the Good Samaritan
25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
27 He answered: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]”
28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:17
Jeezus hates him some libruls!11!!!
Jeezus is in ur base killin ur doodzs!!1!
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:17
Amen! This is a HOUSE of lies where those who speak the truth are mocked by hypocriticalistic Christ pissers.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:19
I love CHRISTIANS as myself. You all are NOT included in the commandment.
Suxxors to be you!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:19
Sheez - and I thought this was a web page.
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:20
Don McLean, “American Pie” (bad sound)
Led Zeppelin, “Custard Pie” (Page, not actually Zeppelin)
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:20
29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:20
Doodz annie is in ur base judgin ur comments!!11!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:21
Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer? but ye have made it a den of thieves.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:25
No one who mocks GOD is my neighbor. Those who mock GOD deserve death. And they will get it, eternal death, damnation.
I am not a going to take it anymore and FUCK you assholes who think because I am a CHRISTIAN I wil take your shit.
Mikey is a fucking bitch, a little whiny bitch and you all suck shit off his dick after he fucks Jillian up her fat haggy ass!
WHOOPEEE!!!!! Fuck you all!
Merry Christmas, unbelievers! I can’t WAIT for the rapture so I can look down from Heaven and laugh while roving sex gangs ASSRAPE you fools!!
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:28
Ah, Annieangel, the epitome of PIEty:
I love PIE as myself. Cake, cookies, ice cream, and candy are NOT included in the commandment.
OK, but you’re missing out.
P.S. Annie: if Jesus were reading this blog, he would be seriously disappointed in you.
Rudyard Kipling said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:28
So I’ll meet ‘im later on
In the place where ‘e is gone—
Where it’s always double drill and no canteen;
‘E’ll be squattin’ on the coals
Givin’ drink to pore damned souls,
An’ I’ll get a swig in Hell from Gunga Din!
Din! Din! Din!
You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!
Tho’ I’ve belted you an’ flayed you,
By the livin’ Gawd that made you,
You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:28
It is also written:
George is a little monkey, and all little monkeys are curious.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:29
Merry Christmas, Annie!
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:29
Jesus knows I am human and he forgives me because I love HIM. Period. I believe in Him and I love Him.
I’m saved, fuckers.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:30
http://bloggingpoints.blogspot.com/2006/12/conscientious-objectors.html
Merry Christmas right back at ya, sinner!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:32
“I’m saved, fuckers”
LOLROFOMFGCYBTS
It.Simply.Gets.No.Better.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:32
Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
Rudyard Kipling said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:33
Y’know, it used to really chap my ass when a good thread would get totally taken over by that whack-job bimbo, but since her conversion to Pie-N-Tology, I find her to be a pleasant contributor, if slightly redundant. Thanks, babe. Have a slice of the Apple…
mikey
Seanly said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:34
Hey! Bush said we need to expand the Army & the Marines! Do I smell a draft? What a nice Christmas present for the underprivileged. We all need to make sacrifices for the GWOT so what better way than for the stinking masses to give up their children.
I say Bush shot for the homerun & declare he is wiping out any taxes for corporations & the top 1% wealthiest.
His Grace said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:35
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Judge not, lest ye be judged.
I guess the exception is when there is a liberal/terrorist involved. Then it is totally not “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Then God totally wants you to deport them to Guantanamo where they can be
torturedaggressively interrogated.ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:36
Frog knocked on Toad’s door.
“Toad, wake up,” he cried.
“Come out and see
how wonderfull the winter is!”
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:38
Mat 25:40 And the king will answer them, 1 ‘I tell you the truth, 2 just as you did it for one of the least of these brothers or sisters 3 of mine, you did it for me.’
Annie, look — you can’t run around spouting hate like you’re possessed by Captain Howdy and then claim you love Jesus. For lo, such a person is like unto a dingleberry who clingeth by a pube to her Savior’s posterior, yet is wiped off and left to desiccate in the hot Judean desert wind.
You have to at least pretend to love people like the rest of your tribe, or it’s no good!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:40
Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:40
The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Pinko Punko said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:41
OK, my script is working. It just said I was going to be assraped by pie.
What is going on?
I didn’t even start anything. If anyone was sucker punched here, it was ME.
Double-A was way out of line. Go to your room and simmer down, turbo.
Thank you Mikey for not responding. I owe you a gigantic pork snorkel. Also, pictures of the boys for Jillypants who should not have to put up with this stuff.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:43
I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
Green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:44
Jeez Annie, you’re thinking about ass a lot. Hemorrhoids acting up, or something?
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:45
Pie beat me up and took my cookies!!
Pinko, there is good within you - thanks…
mikey
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:45
Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:46
Jillian should definately put up with this stuff! Why should only I put up with it??? Huh??? Huh, Pinko?
You most certainly started it. And yes I am out of line, but I’ve never been happier to be out of line in my life.
I hope you get crabs. :) CUz like, I’ve HEARD, just heard mind you, that Jillyspants are INFESTED. ;)
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:47
Free your mind and your ass will follow. The kingdom of heaven is within.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:49
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:50
Annie: Your first clue was “S,N!” Plainly the comma is standing in for an I.
Now please abhor off, and go cleave to something good.
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:53
I’m gonna go back to Gary’s ugliness, ’cause it’s really disturbing:
As well, the parts of his story that he’s not revealing are being exposed, like the possibility that he was indoctrinated in Muslim schools until he was a teenager.
Y’know, maybe it’s just their proximity, but I’m a LOT more afraid of these crazy whack-job christianists than I am of any Muslim. Actually, I only know one Muslim and he’s a really good friend and not a threat. But theres a BUNCH of jeezus freaks that flat concern me, and Gary? I’m lookin at you. Watchfully…
mikey
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:53
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
Sir Stephen Henry Roberts.
I tire of this - it was fun while it lasted - but dinner needs cooking.
Aioli said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:55
Did somebody say crabcakes??
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:55
Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
Mayonnaise said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:55
Choad.
Dijonnaise said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:56
I’m on the outside looking in.
Miracle Whip said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:56
Don’t I know it.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:56
And he saith unto me, The waters which thou sawest, where the whore sitteth, are peoples, and multitudes, and nations, and tongues. And the ten horns which thou sawest upon the beast, these shall hate the whore, and shall make her desolate and naked, and shall eat her flesh, and burn her with fire. For God hath put in their hearts to fulfil his will, and to agree, and give their kingdom unto the beast, until the words of God shall be fulfilled.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:57
Agreed, ironicname.
Hopefully, Mario will show up later to make this thread perfect.
——————————————————–
Indiana Jones vs. The Temple of Doom
Seanly said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:58
I don’t hate God. I just know he doesn’t exist.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:58
Mikey is jsut TERRIFIED of the Christians!!! Oh no!!! There’s EVERYWHERE!!!
In government, in the schools, in the streets, and they are like, DOING things to Mikey, forcing Mikey to suffer and suffer and oh woe is Mikey the Lame!! Brave Sir Whiny Liberal, hating Christians for existing, and fering Christians ans fear is born of hate and Mikey is born of a crack whore.
Oh poor sinners, you don’t understand that you are DOOMED, your mocking and you slavering resembling nothing more than the specral gasps of the ghost of death itself, the death of Jesus on the Cross, over and over each time you mock His sacrifice and let His Blood run into the swere rather than accept it and it’s saving Grace, you don’t profane His Blood which would save you, but the sewer become more Holy than you.
Morons.
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:59
I owe you a gigantic pork snorkel.
Sssshhhh! Don’t tell Pinko, I know he means well, but is this a sex act or food? I mean, I’d likely be ok with either, but should I bring a condom or a plate? Somebody help me out here…
miky
Darkwater said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:59
Annie, what’s this about sex with Karl Rove?
Anne Laurie said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:00
I liked the comment from the Malkin freak that claims that it’s impossible to sign your name 40 times an hour.
… in crayon. All caps. Wavering above & below the line his mommy draws for him to sign on. ‘Cause you know the Malkintents (love it!) are all about their research skillz!
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:00
Back on topic, it looks like Malkin has found a temp job during the holiday season.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:03
A pork snorkel is what you need to have sex with Jillian. She has this problem with her vagina that Pinko told me about. It’s more like a marsupial pouch.
EdsAppliance said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:04
Pie 3:14159
Darkwater said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:04
Well, dammit, that’s what I get for trying to make a timely snark without immediately refreshing the page prior to posting my comment.
____________
The Hardy Boys v. The Case of the Suspiciously Tented Pants
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:05
Oh yeah, and it has to be a GIGANTIC pork snorkel. I’ve heard, jsut heard mind you, guy have gotten lost in there and suffocated.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:05
Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:06
Pie 3:14159
At some point in the future I’m stealing that.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:07
Of course you will, Bubba, cuz like it’s so fucking awesomely cool that you wish you thought of it yourself.
You’re the magic man!!!!
Stan Gable said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:16
Ogre, go get a pie.
Darkwater said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:19
Try to understand
Try to understand
Try, try, try to understand
He’s a magic man!!!!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:19
My God, it’s full of pie!
Miracle Whip said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:20
Psst, mikey it’s food. Bring a plate.
I think I am the only one not running greasemonkey here. It is like an entire world of absolute filth and vulgarity only open to me. I feel a little bit naughty.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:20
By their fruits you will know them.
Apple? Cherry? Blueberry? Peach?
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:21
Nope, not running greasemonkey either.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:21
I OWN THIS BOARD!!!
I AM THE NIGHT RIDER!!!!
I AM THE NIGHT RIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Roarke's Brand Salad Dressing's Poops said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:22
Seriously, it is hard to take the insult “wallaby vagina” seriously. And I am being serious about the lack of seriousness.
AA, I thought you were doing great before Shoelimpy showed up again. He’s a bad influence, and he’s also not very bright. I think he takes advantage of you. Please leave him and get help.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:23
Righteous Bubba, I like this better than pi.
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:23
Fear not, Miracle Whip, for you are not alone. I too am greasemonkeyless. The pies I see are in my mind’s eye.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:26
Jeezus Christ thunder, you’re some kinda book-learnin’ eggheaded brainiacal rocket scientician.
maddie said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:28
Oh good grief…
Happy Holidays, Mikey
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:31
But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be taken and destroyed, speak evil of the things that they understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:31
Going completely off-topic here, but did anyone happen to catch the George W. Bush impersonator on Monday Night Raw last night? I dunno, I may be the only wrestling fan on this board, so let me describe this:
They brought out “Dubya”, complete with a retinue of small-time wrestlers posing as Secret Service agents. As soon as he was introduced, he was booed mercilessly by the crowd, and they continued to harrass him as he tried to go through with a skit opposite a tag team called “Cryme Tyme.” It seemed by what he was saying that the WWE was really trying to get him over as a heel. That struck me as unusual since Vince McMahon, and indeed many of his wrestlers, are pretty conservative in their political views, when they’ve expressed them.
The point I want to make here is that, if you’re a conservative Republican, and you lose the adoration of a wrestling crowd, you’re pretty much toast on a stick.
Stan Gable said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:32
That’s my pie!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:32
Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded; But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.
jefflawson said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:33
“Where have you been this while away,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
‘Long with the rest on a picnic lay,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
They called us out of the barrack-yard
To Gawd knows where from Gosport Hard,
And you can’t refuse when you get the card,
And the Widow gives the party.
(Bugle: Ta–rara–ra-ra-rara!)
“What did you get to eat and drink,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
Standing water as thick as ink,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
A bit o’ beef that were three year stored,
A bit o’ mutton as tough as a board,
And a fowl we killed with a sergeant’s sword,
When the Widow give the party.
“What did you do for knives and forks,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
We carries ‘em with us wherever we walks,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
And some was sliced and some was halved,
And some was crimped and some was carved,
And some was gutted and some was starved,
When the Widow give the party.
“What ha’ you done with half your mess,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
They couldn’t do more and they wouldn’t do less,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
They ate their whack and they drank their fill,
And I think the rations has made them ill,
For half my comp’ny’s lying still
Where the Widow give the party.
“How did you get away — away,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
On the broad o’ my back at the end o’ the day,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
I comed away like a bleedin’ toff,
For I got four niggers to carry me off,
As I lay in the bight of a canvas trough,
When the Widow give the party.
“What was the end of all the show,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
Ask my Colonel, for I don’t know,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
We broke a King and we built a road –
A court-house stands where the reg’ment goed.
And the river’s clean where the raw blood flowed
When the Widow give the party.
(Bugle: Ta–rara–ra-ra-rara!)
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:36
Believe it or don’t, Bubba, I used Taylor expansion series to hedge the Latin American equity warrants I was in charge of, back in the 90s.
So for instance, when one of the big hiccups occured back in 1994-1995ish, my positions actually made money, thanks to all the almost free out of the money puts I’d buy to cover my tail.
Nobody at work actually cared, since our company was being sold off to the highest bidder. But my family was proud of me, even though they had no idea what I was talking about.
P.S. That link to ‘tail’ was not the most imformative for this extended tale of what I was doing for a living back in the early 90s, but it is the link that made me laugh the most.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:40
PINKO JUST USE YOUR OWN DAMN NAME FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!
And you are just JEALOUS of Shoe!!!
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:42
shoelimpy -
And when you journey in the earth, there is no blame on you if you shorten the prayer, if you fear that those who disbelieve will cause you distress, surely the unbelievers are your open enemy.
But there came after them an evil generation, who neglected prayers and followed and sensual desires, so they win meet perdition.
But whoever disputes with you in this matter after what has come to you of knowledge, then say: Come let us call our sons and your sons and our women and your women and our near people and your near people, then let us be earnest in prayer, and pray for the curse of God on the liars.
And when you call to prayer they make it a mockery and a joke; this is because they are a people who do not understand.
And their prayer before the House is nothing but whistling and clapping of hands; taste then the chastisement, for you disbelieved.
Surely the hypocrites strive to deceive God, and He shall requite their deceit to them, and when they stand up to prayer they stand up sluggishly; they do it only to be seen of men and do not remember God save a little.
So when the sacred months have passed away, then slay the idolaters wherever you find them, and take them captives and besiege them and lie in wait for them in every ambush, then if they repent and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, leave their way free to them; surely God is Forgiving, Merciful.
Wealth and children are the adornment of life.
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:44
when one of the big hiccups occured back in 1994-1995ish
That would be the December Mistake in Mexico and its Tequila Effect throughout the region.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:45
FUCK ALL MUSLIM TERRORISTS!!!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:48
And Saint Atilla raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,
‘Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow
thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin, and
people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies,
and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large –
And the Lord spake, saying, ‘First shalt thou take out the
Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three
shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting
shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two,
excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once
the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou
thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty
in my sight, shall snuff it.’
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:50
I salute you, thunder, and wish you all the Asian tail you need.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:50
Unethical conduct is actually the conduct of destruction and fear; lies are told because one is afraid of the consequences should one tell the truth; thus, the liar is inevitably a coward, the coward is inevitably a liar.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:51
The one impulse in man which cannot be erased is his impulse toward freedom, his impulse toward sanity, toward higher levels of attainment in all of his endeavors.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:52
All liberals are cowards. It’s axiomatic.
And they are all parasites, they can’t function without their betters, becasue hating their betters is all they can do.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:52
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three lefts do.
Wherever possible put people on “HOLD”.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you;
That lemon on your left for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls,
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.
Carefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan,
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
For a good time, call 606-4311.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog
Is finally getting enough cheese;
And reflect that whatever fortunes may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Sioux City.
You are a fluke of the Universe.
You have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not,
The Universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive him to be,
Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.
Give up.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:54
REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:54
You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn’t get you anywhere! Talk about your Psalms, talk about John 3:16 … Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:56
We will now read from the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and … Duck!
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:56
Incidentally, the WWE thing was interesting to hear about.
Carl Ballard said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:57
How do you jump down?
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:58
You would not tolerate for one moment the conduct in an individual that is commonplace in the acts of some nations. You would lock up such a person.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:00
wHO ASS YOU WHIP? yO MAMA’S? i HEAR YOU WHIP HER ASS AND SHE SAY, OHHHHHHHH, DATS MAMAS LITTLE MAN.oH WHIP MAMA BUTT MO, MAMA LIKE DAT BABY BOY!
aND OF COURSE I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I, i AM RUBBER YOU ARE GLUE, and YOU HAVE SHIT ON YOUR NOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Djur said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:03
“But I love Him and He loves me and we both HATE you. :)”
Hey, it’s Fred Phelps.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:03
mIKEY IS fRED pHELPS.
tHEY BOTH HATE THE SAME WAY.
tHEY ARE BOTH GOING TO FRY IN HELL.
tHEY ARE BOTH TRAITORS TO AMERICA.
tHEY ARE BOTH TROOP HATERS.
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:05
Thanks, Bubba.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:15
Merry Christmas, shlimpyâ„¢!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:15
“F**K ALL MUSLIM TERRORISTS!!!”
What, all at once? Or in sequence?
What about Irish terrorists?
Or Basque terrorists?
Do all Terrorists get to “knock boots” with you annie? Do they see it as a holy duty - a sort of “close your eyes and think of england” moment? I am surprised there’s so many around - there are a bizzillion just waiting to take over america, right?
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:19
Leviticus 11:
1: And the LORD spake unto Moses and to Aaron, saying unto them,
2: Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, These are the beasts which ye shall eat among all the beasts that are on the earth.
3: Whatsoever parteth the hoof, and is clovenfooted, and cheweth the cud, among the beasts, that shall ye eat.
4: Nevertheless these shall ye not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the hoof: as the camel, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
5: And the coney, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
6: And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
7: And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.
8: Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.
9: These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10: And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12: Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.
13: And these are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray,
14: And the vulture, and the kite after his kind;
15: Every raven after his kind;
16: And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind,
17: And the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl,
18: And the swan, and the pelican, and the gier eagle,
19: And the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat.
20: All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you.
21: Yet these may ye eat of every flying creeping thing that goeth upon all four, which have legs above their feet, to leap withal upon the earth;
22: Even these of them ye may eat; the locust after his kind, and the bald locust after his kind, and the beetle after his kind, and the grasshopper after his kind.
23: But all other flying creeping things, which have four feet, shall be an abomination unto you.
24: And for these ye shall be unclean: whosoever toucheth the carcase of them shall be unclean until the even.
25: And whosoever beareth ought of the carcase of them shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even.
26: The carcases of every beast which divideth the hoof, and is not clovenfooted, nor cheweth the cud, are unclean unto you: every one that toucheth them shall be unclean.
27: And whatsoever goeth upon his paws, among all manner of beasts that go on all four, those are unclean unto you: whoso toucheth their carcase shall be unclean until the even.
28: And he that beareth the carcase of them shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even: they are unclean unto you.
29: These also shall be unclean unto you among the creeping things that creep upon the earth; the weasel, and the mouse, and the tortoise after his kind,
30: And the ferret, and the chameleon, and the lizard, and the snail, and the mole.
31: These are unclean to you among all that creep: whosoever doth touch them, when they be dead, shall be unclean until the even.
32: And upon whatsoever any of them, when they are dead, doth fall, it shall be unclean; whether it be any vessel of wood, or raiment, or skin, or sack, whatsoever vessel it be, wherein any work is done, it must be put into water, and it shall be unclean until the even; so it shall be cleansed.
33: And every earthen vessel, whereinto any of them falleth, whatsoever is in it shall be unclean; and ye shall break it.
34: Of all meat which may be eaten, that on which such water cometh shall be unclean: and all drink that may be drunk in every such vessel shall be unclean.
35: And every thing whereupon any part of their carcase falleth shall be unclean; whether it be oven, or ranges for pots, they shall be broken down: for they are unclean, and shall be unclean unto you.
36: Nevertheless a fountain or pit, wherein there is plenty of water, shall be clean: but that which toucheth their carcase shall be unclean.
37: And if any part of their carcase fall upon any sowing seed which is to be sown, it shall be clean.
38: But if any water be put upon the seed, and any part of their carcase fall thereon, it shall be unclean unto you.
39: And if any beast, of which ye may eat, die; he that toucheth the carcase thereof shall be unclean until the even.
40: And he that eateth of the carcase of it shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even: he also that beareth the carcase of it shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even.
41: And every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth shall be an abomination; it shall not be eaten.
42: Whatsoever goeth upon the belly, and whatsoever goeth upon all four, or whatsoever hath more feet among all creeping things that creep upon the earth, them ye shall not eat; for they are an abomination.
43: Ye shall not make yourselves abominable with any creeping thing that creepeth, neither shall ye make yourselves unclean with them, that ye should be defiled thereby.
44: For I am the LORD your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy: neither shall ye defile yourselves with any manner of creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
45: For I am the LORD that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I am holy.
46: This is the law of the beasts, and of the fowl, and of every living creature that moveth in the waters, and of every creature that creepeth upon the earth:
47: To make a difference between the unclean and the clean, and between the beast that may be eaten and the beast that may not be eaten.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:21
fUCK eNGLAND TOO!!!
aLL mUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, READ UP THREAD, READ THEIR WON FILTHY WORDS, THEY ARE UNCLEAN SMELLY BASTARDS WHO HATE YOU MORE THAN i DO!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:26
Nearest among them in love to the believers you will find those who say ‘We are Christians;’ because among these are men devoted to learning and men who have renounced the world, and they are not arrogant.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:26
10: And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
This means tourists, right?
jefflawson said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:26
A Song of the Sandbags
No, Bill, I’m not a-spooning out no patriotic tosh
(The cove be’ind the sandbags ain’t a death-or-glory cuss).
And though I strafes ‘em good and ‘ard I doesn’t ‘ate the Boche,
I guess they’re mostly decent, just the same as most of us.
I guess they loves their ‘omes and kids as much as you or me;
And just the same as you or me they’d rather shake than fight;
And if we’d ‘appened to be born at Berlin-on-the-Spree,
We’d be out there with ‘Ans and Fritz, dead sure that we was right.
A-standin’ up to the sandbags
It’s funny the thoughts wot come;
Starin’ into the darkness,
‘Earin’ the bullets ‘um;
(Zing! Zip! Ping! Rip!
‘ark ‘ow the bullets ‘um!)
A-leanin’ against the sandbags
Wiv me rifle under me ear,
Oh, I’ve ‘ad more thoughts on a sentry-go
Than I used to ‘ave in a year.
I wonder, Bill, if ‘Ans and Fritz is wonderin’ like me
Wot’s at the bottom of it all? Wot all the slaughter’s for?
‘E thinks ‘e’s right (of course ‘e ain’t) but this we both agree,
If them as made it ‘ad to fight, there wouldn’t be no war.
If them as lies in feather beds while we kips in the mud;
If them as makes their fortoons while we fights for ‘em like ‘ell;
If them as slings their pot of ink just ‘ad to sling their blood:
By Crust! I’m thinkin’ there ‘ud be another tale to tell.
Shiverin’ up to the sandbags,
With a hicicle ’stead of a spine,
Don’t it seem funny the things you think
‘Ere in the firin’ line:
(Whee! Whut! Ziz! Zut!
Lord! ‘ow the bullets whine!)
Hunkerin’ down when a star-shell
Cracks in a sputter of light,
You can jaw to yer soul by the sandbags
Most any old time o’ night.
They talks o’ England’s glory and a-’oldin’ of our trade,
Of Empire and ‘igh destiny until we’re fair flim-flammed;
But if it’s for the likes o’ that that bloody war is made,
Then wot I say is: Empire and ‘igh destiny be damned!
There’s only one good cause, Bill, for poor blokes like us to fight:
That’s self-defence, for ‘earth and ‘ome, and them that bears our name;
And that’s wot I’m a-doin’ by the sandbags ‘ere to-night. . . .
But Fritz out there will tell you ‘e’s a-doin’ of the same.
Starin’ over the sandbags,
Sick of the ‘ole damn thing;
Firin’ to keep meself awake,
‘Earin’ the bullets sing.
(Hiss! Twang! Tsing! Pang!
Saucy the bullets sing.)
Dreamin’ ‘ere by the sandbags
Of a day when war will cease,
When ‘Ans and Fritz and Bill and me
Will clink our mugs in fraternity,
And the Brotherhood of Labour will be
The Brotherhood of Peace.
from “Rhymes of a Red Cross Man (1916), Robert Service
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:28
you people no funny, ok????? you bad bad bad people, ok??? god hate you, ok???? you go to hell, ok???? unbelievers!!!@!@!!!!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:32
Has anyone noticed that AA’s link no longer works?
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:33
You know, I don’t even need that script.
Just knowing that every third comment in this thread is extolling the virtues of pie to many of the readers makes me laugh-especially when you get a chance to read both sides of the pie!
mikey, from the religious fervor I’ve seen in emu-land, I believe the pork snorkel is BOTH a food and a sex act.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:33
Has anyone noticed that Clint’s dick smells like his mama’s snatch?
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:34
It’s a fishy, yeasty smell.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:36
Sadly, Ho!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:37
http://missanienagel.blogspot.com/
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The requested URL was not found on this server. Please visit the Blogger homepage or the Blogger Knowledge Base for further assistance.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:37
This passage from leviticus has always puzzled me:
23: But all other flying creeping things, which have four feet, shall be an abomination unto you.
What sort of flying things have four feet? Bats are mentioned in 19.
There seems to be some error here - Insects have six legs, birds two - what does it mean?
Gavin M. said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:37
20: All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you.
See, this one I’ve never understood.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:38
beat ya!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:38
I approved yo mama last night.
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:39
Ummm, DAMN, jefflawson, that was intese. Made me shiver and throw a log on the fire. But thanks - it’s important to always remember the horror….
mikey
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:44
you mean mean man gavin, ok??? you hate god, ok???? you go to hell, ok??? i laugh, ok??? hahahahaha, ok???? inchrist, annie
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:45
Wingnut Moses believes in four-legged birds. Sadly, No!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:47
Don’t eat alien four legged birds or bugs eh?
Nothing to see here - move along - and ditch the rye you’ve got in storage.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:49
No shrimp sushi?
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:50
Only Hannukah lobster rolls are allowed.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:51
And ANOTHER THING Gavin….what the fuck is WRONG with you???? HMMMMMMMMMMMMM?????????
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:51
Hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello, my http//
Askimet said it was spam.
Spam.
SPAM.
Yo mama says Hi.
WARNING: 4592-192837- “//home.dingle-dangle/gavin-is-teh-ghey.sadly/no/header-header-two-oh-niner/five0006″>
Ask for it
Ask for it
Oh where doth the wind blow?
Jimmy says hi. Jimmy says bye. Oh where or where is Jane?
warning. Warning. WARNING.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:53
No pork rinds
No terrapin soup
But hey, set the table for the locusts, grasshoppers and beetles! MMMM crunchy!
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:55
48: Ye shall not make yourselves abominable with any trolling thing that trolleth, neither shall ye make yourselves unclean with them, that ye should be defiled with pie.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:56
Gavin wants to taste my pie. Don’t you, Gavin?
Richard 23 said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:57
What are you drinking tonight, Annie?
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:57
Four-legged pie?
Does this mean the Babble is … errant? Where else may there be mistakes, I wonder?
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:58
No matter where; of comfort no man speak:
Let’s talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs;
Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes
Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth,
Let’s choose executors and talk of wills:
And yet not so, for what can we bequeath
Save our deposed bodies to the ground?
Our lands, our lives and all are Bolingbroke’s,
And nothing can we call our own but death
And that small model of the barren earth
Which serves as paste and cover to our bones.
For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground
And tell sad stories of the death of kings;
How some have been deposed; some slain in war,
Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed;
Some poison’d by their wives: some sleeping kill’d;
All murder’d: for within the hollow crown
That rounds the mortal temples of a king
Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits,
Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp,
Allowing him a breath, a little scene,
To monarchize, be fear’d and kill with looks,
Infusing him with self and vain conceit,
As if this flesh which walls about our life,
Were brass impregnable, and humour’d thus
Comes at the last and with a little pin
Bores through his castle wall, and farewell king!
Cover your heads and mock not flesh and blood
With solemn reverence: throw away respect,
Tradition, form and ceremonious duty,
For you have but mistook me all this while:
I live with bread like you, feel want,
Taste grief, need friends: subjected thus,
How can you say to me, I am a king?
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:58
as long as we’re quoting great war poets, I’ve got a taste for Sassoon
A Working Party
Three hours ago he blundered up the trench,
Sliding an