12
Drunk On Teh Funny
From Monday’s Indianapolis Star:
Mallard Fillmore Creator Arrested For DUI
Hoosier Edward Bruce Tinsley, creator of the conservative comic strip Mallard Fillmore, was arrested in Columbus Dec. 4 and charged with operating a vehicle under the influence — his second alcohol-related arrest in less than four months, according to the Bartholomew County Sheriff’s Department.
Tinsley, 48, who lives in Columbus, had a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 — almost twice the level at which an Indiana driver is considered intoxicated. He posted $755 bond.
On Aug. 26, Tinsley was arrested for public intoxication, according to the sheriff’s department.
Mallard Fillmore, about a conservative duck, appears in almost 400 newspapers nationwide, including The Indianapolis Star.
Chris Muir remains at large.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 12, 2006 at 7:13
Mallard Fillmore walks into a bar and says, “Put it on my bill.”
Rimshot.
Marita said,
December 12, 2006 at 7:18
Fair enough. He’s a conservative, so it’s only bad when other people do it. Like so many other things.
Any way we can rally so that Day By Day doesn’t win the Best Comic Weblog award? That would be a travesty.
S. Jerusalem said,
December 12, 2006 at 7:19
Wait wait wait wait wait….was that “Day By Day” cartoon you linked to one of Muir’s originals or one of our “remixes?” All the things we make fun of Muir for (the needless semi-nudity, the horrible posture, the incomprehensible dialogue, the ‘joke,’ the defending of the undefensable) were out in full force there. Someone must have hacked into Muir’s site, because there is NO WAY he could have delved so deeply into self-parody accidentally.
sprezzatura said,
December 12, 2006 at 7:24
Muir must have a Scoliosis fetish, that is the only explanation why his women look they do.
Having said that, therre is ALMOST a joke there, if only there was a sence of timing and a writing style that didnt sound like mixed up poetry magnets.
Marita said,
December 12, 2006 at 7:24
Wow. That is truly terrible. C’mon - doesn’t anyone know of one of the other finalists who doesn’t suck and stands a chance? We can’t let this guy win.
Some Guy said,
December 12, 2006 at 7:25
Well, thank god they got him before he killed someone. Or worse, graffittied a wall with a Mallard Fillmore cartoon, thus destroying the property value of the entire block and crushing the hopes and dreams of the tenets.
Republican Values, folks! Hurray!
http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/2006/12/11/ No T&A? The irony is thick enough to choke a camel.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 12, 2006 at 7:29
SJ - no shit. That might be THE Day by Day cartoon to measure all Day by Day cartoons against. For some reason, his characters inhabit a reality where shirtless self-preening is a full-time job for men … okay, whatever. And I guess fondling yourself while simultaneously brushing your teeth and carrying on a conversation (all while sporting hipster micro-shades, natch) isn’t so bizarre.
But what’s up with the redhead posing for a Hustler shoot in the middle panel? I know Muir likes his wimmen nekkid and postured painfully, but this has got to be the nekkidest and painfullest he’s ever done, no?
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2006 at 7:30
Mallard Fillmore walks into a bar and says, “Put it on my bill.�
Mallard Fillmore, hauled into the station. “Book him for quack possession.”
GeoX said,
December 12, 2006 at 7:37
Wow. Just the other day I accused Tinsley of cartooning while drunk. Little did I know how right I was!
craigie said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:05
Are there any conservatives who do more than just talk about “values”?
djangone said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:10
Fillmore apologists will surely point out that Ernie Bushmiller was once arrested for selling window pane just off the campus of a junior high, but that he never faced this kind of media scrutiny.
dday said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:12
If it doesn’t work, my cartoon remix is available for viewing here.
Douglas Watts said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:16
Bill Bennett. But he gambles on them. Or is that gambols on them.
Dakota Blue said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:26
Nice job with the remixes. Very funny!
Ex-Fed said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:34
I don’t believe he can be guilty.
Drunk people are usually funny.
scarshapedstar said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:35
D-Day, the content is right, but you forgot to EMPHASIZE every fourth or fifth word the LIBERALS say… and especially the PUNCHLINE! [sic]
Thers said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:36
.14! Impressive.
That’s almost drunk enough to excuse him for feeling up some young boy page, for Chrissakes.
Some Guy said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:45
The question, Ex-Fed, is weither the drunk in question is laughing WITH or being laughed AT.
I’ve never been fond of drunks, not since my college dorm-mate stumbled out of (his) bed at 2AM and went to the bathroom.
And no, he didn’t leave the room to do it.
George Johnston said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:47
48? His style made me think he was William F. Buckley’s older brother.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:48
Speaking of being laughed at: Shelley Dracula Cunt Gibbs.
So.
dday said,
December 12, 2006 at 8:51
scarshapedstar:
This is true and will be fixed in a matter of mouse clicks.
Anne Laurie said,
December 12, 2006 at 9:12
Oh, c’mon, people, we’re talking about a man’s livelyhoood here! Surely you don’t think Tinsley can produce this kind of crap six days a week if he’s sober! Even if he is a conservative, there are some forms of cruelty that the progressive blogosphere should rise above condoning…
(/snark) in case the conservatards are watching
mdhåtter said,
December 12, 2006 at 9:24
22 comments and no “Stewed Duck” joke? I’m disappointed in all of you.
Edmund Schluessel said,
December 12, 2006 at 9:54
And now we know why he drinks, too.
islmfaoscist said,
December 12, 2006 at 10:45
Is that BC guy dead yet?
Matt T. said,
December 12, 2006 at 11:41
Tinsley, 48, who lives in Columbus, had a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 — almost twice the level at which an Indiana driver is considered intoxicated.
Dumb ass.
Reminds me of a story. Few years back, my then-lead singer asked me to drive him out to the DMV so’s he could get his license*. Now, this boy was - and, unfortunately, still is - a heavy drinker, like a fifth a day (at the very, very least, and that was rare) heavy drinker. One of those guys who starts each day by finishing off last night’s bottle. He’d already tried once to get his license the week before, still stinking of last night’s whiskey, and got into a shouting match with one of the DMV workers.
I told him, no booze before we went out there, not even the morning shot. He agreed and swore up and down when I got to his place he hadn’t had a drop. Turns out, when we got to the DMV, he had to deal with the same cat who’d run him off previously. So the guy demands a breathalyzer test. I tell my buddy he’s got nothing to lose, and settle down into my little book to wait.
Less than ten minutes later, a county mountie comes out and asks me to make sure my buddy doesn’t drive. My buddy storms out and heads for the car. Eventually, I get him out of his sulk and he tells me what went wrong.
Stone sober, not a drop all day and two in the afternoon, my boy blew a 0.18, twice the legal limit in Georgia and then some. He was not happy. I, however, considered it the funniest thing I’d heard in a couple days.
Another buddy of mine got his third of four DUIs after a cop caught him doing 40 in a 35…with two flat tires and sparks a’flyin’. He says he got off easy, though, because he wasn’t drunk so much as rolling on X. He’s got engaged here recently, though, and his old lady made him cut all that shit out.
JK47 said,
December 12, 2006 at 12:04
Bush’s approval ratings continue to tank. He has now hit a nice juicy 31% in the CBS poll to go with a 32% in Newsweek and 33% in the AP poll.
The lesson to be learned from this? One-third of Americans are complete assholes. One out of every three people in this country still give that fuckup a thumbs-up.
Jillian said,
December 12, 2006 at 12:40
This must explain why I’m not a conservative.
I’ve never driven drunk in my life, never hit on someone I knew was underage, never racked up huge gambling debts, never cheated on my taxes, never strangled my mistress, and never publicly moralized against abortion whilst secretly paying for my own.
I just lack the moral fiber necessary to embrace conservatism.
El Cid said,
December 12, 2006 at 13:02
This story almost made me as happy as Pinochet’s death. Good catch!
scarshapedstar said,
December 12, 2006 at 15:59
Excellent remix, dday. :D
Chan said,
December 12, 2006 at 16:19
Good lord. That poor redhead in Day by Day is going to need neck traction if she twists any more.
Of course, she’s always been something to twist and manipulate to fit Chris’s needs and moods.
I still don’t understand why she needs to be topless. I’m not particularly interested in the sex lives of cartoon characters, thanks.
Realist said,
December 12, 2006 at 16:55
I already knew you had to be drunk to READ Mallard Fillmore, but I didn’t know you had to be drunk to create it, too. Guess it makes sense, sort of.
steve_e said,
December 12, 2006 at 17:00
That story is the funniest thing ever associated with Mallard Fillmore.
Tinsley’s 12/12 comic is hilariously pathetic.
Woodrowfan said,
December 12, 2006 at 17:11
Are there any conservatives who do more than just talk about “values�?
Um, no, actually, there are not. At least since Goldwater died…
Sagra said,
December 12, 2006 at 17:30
I’d drink a lot too, if I had to draw seven of those craptastically unfunny duck cartoons every week.
gjdodger said,
December 12, 2006 at 17:44
I’m surprised he hasn’t claimed a vast duckwing conspiracy. You know, fowl play.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 12, 2006 at 17:45
I’m surprised he hasn’t claimed a vast duckwing conspiracy. You know, fowl play.
Not only do I hate the player, I hate the game.
tigrismus said,
December 12, 2006 at 17:49
You know, fowl play.
That old canard?
Ortho_bob said,
December 12, 2006 at 17:56
I wonder if the cop who pulled him over had read this one?
norbizness said,
December 12, 2006 at 18:27
I gave a homeless guy Muir’s latest cartoon and he fapped to it for 30 minutes, or at least so he claims.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
December 12, 2006 at 18:38
I wonder if the cop who pulled him over had read this one?
It would be so, so wrong to send a copy of that cartoon to the police department in Tinsley’s home town. Where are my stamps?
mdhåtter said,
December 12, 2006 at 18:39
fappita fappita fappita
Zombiebirdhouse said,
December 12, 2006 at 18:53
Here’s a quick take on poor Mallard. I figure it’s at least as unfunny and makes about as much sense as the original.
Charlotte Smith said,
December 12, 2006 at 19:11
Wow, that’s the closest to funny that Muir may have ever been. Kind of like a dog that finally learned to make a noise that sounds like “I love you” to delight its owners.
Realist said,
December 12, 2006 at 21:33
This one was my favorite. It shows the utter futility of conservatives trying to make hip culture references when being conservative is about as far as you can get from being hip.
Note: Pearl Harbor and the Explosions were a ’70s punk band, not a ’90s grunge band.
reverter said,
December 12, 2006 at 22:10
If I read that one about eggnog right, apparently Tinsley doesn’t understand that you’re supposed to put the rum IN the eggnog, not DRINK the rum first.
That seems to be his implication. Is he really that stupid? Now, THAT’S funny.
heydave said,
December 12, 2006 at 23:33
A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head, the bartender asks if he’s OK and the duck says “get this guy off my ass”
Did I invent that joke or have others heard it in my head?
Jay B. said,
December 12, 2006 at 23:59
Realist,
That’s double teh funny, considering he was reaching for Pearl Jam. Even my inner music snob has to plead ignorance to Pearl Harbor and the Explosions.
TheYellowElephantBrigade said,
December 13, 2006 at 6:51
Funny enough, a site called Druck Duck has a comic called Taking_Stock, which will, in a matter of an hour, have a comic tribute to Tinsley.
Enjoy!
http://www.drunkduck.com/Taking_Stock
RZ said,
December 13, 2006 at 10:47
As bad as “Mallard Filmore” and “Day by Day” are, nothing, absolutely nothing is worse than “State of the Union” by Carl Moore. It’s got all the artistic merit of a third-rate editorial cartoon, but with the 4-week lag of a third-rate serial comic, all in three-panel form!
I dare you: http://www.comics.com/creators/union/
Sjofn said,
December 13, 2006 at 13:36
Holy crap, State of the Union really IS that horrible.
Netvocates said,
December 13, 2006 at 18:36
Ugh, state of the union is teh suck. So what kind of deviance does that comic strip creator have? Young boys? Hillbilly Heroin? Circus Animals?
LanceThruster said,
December 13, 2006 at 20:13
So that worthless POS (piece of shite) Bruce Tinsley is a flaming hypocrite as well?!? Who woulda guessed it. I wonder if the ‘glazed duck in wine sauce’ was rambling about how “the damn liberals are responsible for ALL the wars in the world!” and “Hey, sugar tits!!”
Socraticsilence said,
December 13, 2006 at 20:48
I don’t know for sheer batshit crazyness I have to go with this series, which I like to call “The Eternal Jon” http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/mallard070505.asp
Realist said,
December 13, 2006 at 21:28
Even my inner music snob has to plead ignorance to Pearl Harbor and the Explosions
You pretty much had to live somewhere in the vicinity of San Francisco back in the ’70s to be familiar with them. Pearl E. Gates had been a figure in the local music scene for a while before forming the band in 1978. They played such local venues as the Mabuhay Gardens (a.k.a. the Fab Mab, where I saw them) before cutting a couple of largely forgettable albums and fading from view.
Here’s a brief blurb about Pearl from Trouser Press:
http://www.trouserpress.com/entry.php?a=pearl_harbor_and_the_explosions
And some pictures of the band:
http://www.newwavephotos.com/PearlHarbor.htm
S. F. Brown said,
December 16, 2006 at 0:13
>>>Are there any conservatives who do more than just talk about “values�?
Mary Jones said,
December 18, 2006 at 6:57
It’s always nice to see my favorite webcomics keeping up with politics.
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