ScottishClowning™
I was gonna start up with something else. It was buried, yet churning, a-bubbling just beneath the surface, and I can’t remember exactly what the kernal was, because, well ScottishClowning™.
I think Imma gonna have a smoke and collect some brains/thoughts…brb.
OK, This may end up a multi smoke-break tale, and one in which there are two stories that will be told, and most certainly in one, I will be painted as an oppressor. The tales to be told will take likely more than the five minutes in question, to read.
Wake up a bit starvy, and while I have provisions in the pantry, the discovery of a comment requiring moderations with the almost simultaneous recognition that the monthly phone plan needed food yesterday (thought I was good until today) meant a trip to the ‘bucks was in order. As it is next door to the scottish clown, and the promise of a quicker breakfast, and the fact that I love the bacon egg cheese biscuits and the orange juice….There I ended, to start the day.
The wait after ordering was long enough to get me thinking…
Fast forward to large Black dude waltzing in, in flipflops, six foot six at least and 280-300 pounds. Big assed ‘Fro…Chilling. I noticed the anomaly immediately. I was profiling myself.
In my profile loomed a large brother who likes the sweetleaf, and whose manner and bearing indicates that he, while dressed in rather casual morning attire, was a person of some means. I checked the dude because he seemed anomalous. In a better world we would be working over a spliff and becoming fast friends and I would be writing this later. It is not even 08:30, as I type.
There was another profile. It was made by a person showing up right behind the LargeBlackMan.
I was into my first biscuit and enjoying the sweet-tangy palate cleansing aspects of the delicious orange juice. As I said I was starvy…
What struck me about the other party, almost immediately, was noticing how quickly he stopped in his tracks and actually created more distance between him and the LargeBlackMan. I did not assume there was any other reason for the move, beyond, “whoa, large dude, give him space.” A personally fine reason for a member of the averaged sized dude in question. I mean shit, there is a possibility that he could fall, one that I would not wish to break.
While continuing the work on my sammiches, mmmmmmmmmmm. These were done right by the way, I noticed that the gentleman in question was keeping very close tabs on the LargeBlackMan. Even though he had his back to me it was obvious that his primary concern was no longer his breakfast order, but what the LargeBlackMan might do and how he might be a threat.
I continued to observe the behavior (because it was obvious) while taking care of the prioritized need to put food on myself. After that, on the way to deal with my garbage, and tray, I did a thing….
I am not sure I have ever seen a truly terrified old white dude, in terrified flight back to his Fox-Hole, in the wild.
I chased the dude, who had just become aware of my presence, out of the store. This might have been me crossing the line to become an Oppressor.
What did I do, you ask?
Well short story….On my way to the waist bin, I stopped and said quietly “He’s not gonna bite” to the older dude in question.
His response should not have surprised me “Mind your own business, I know how to look after myself!” This had a spit of vitriol in it. I continued on my way, dumped my trash and upon returning to my seat he added “I worked in a difficult place” and as I took in the eyes of a man for whom the world seems an extremely dangerous place if there are non whites within view, I put my pack on while watching him make a beeline to the door. Then I shared what happened with the LargeBlackMan.
Anyone who has spent anytime here can figure out what the other profile consists of. How many weeks will the oppression that a couple dudes simply looking for breakfast unwittingly visited upon an older white guy story be told, the terror sweats and terror dreams, that will follow…We read about these assholes all the time. I gag about racing striped underoos way too often.
What did I do to oppress this poor bespectacled white man? “He’s not gonna bite.” Four words. Granted I might have used “…going to…” instead of gonna, so the grammatical crime is limited, but the real problem for him was that….I caught him and called out his being a racist without using the word. I did this while, well, being a Black person.
His departure from the premises was not expected, but he ran away, had to vacate the kitchen. It pains me that I took the smallest bit of solace, that inside I smiled a little…
Lets see here: Older white man, terrified of large younger black man and then accosted by another black man who has the audacity to infer that not all black men are rampaging murderers, clearly has no choice but to flee. Yep, makes sense to me.
Here the difference. I went into a McDonalds once (back in the Olden Days when I still used to eat their ‘food’) in Brooklyn and realized instantly I was the ONLY white guy in a room full of about 50 ‘non-whites’ (it was quite a busy place). I saw this as a learning experience for me, because I’m not a Conservative. I thought immediately that this must be what it’s like for a ‘non-white’ person to find themselves is a sea of white-only faces, to be the ‘token other’.
I did feel an immediate sense of danger, which was my own personal failing, but I looked around and only a few people had even noticed me, most just didn’t care. And so I didn’t care either. I stayed and got food and behaved like a normal, respectful person – again, because I am not a Conservative. But that’s just me…
I smiled a bit and I am a middle aged white woman so I consider myself in good company.
I live outside of Baltimore, MD (Balwmer in the local lingo). I have walked into a number of places where I was the only white person and I have never felt uncomfortable. I assume most people aren’t out to harm me and that is more likely due to a good upbringing more then a sense of white privilege.
Goes to show that YOU’RE THE REAL RACIST!!!!
Yay…. phone and data back.
Ruth, Acranny, right?
I dont look for these opportunities, they simply present themselves. I can’t speak for all of the brothers and sisters, but i would imagine that most of them, like myself are simply trying to get through yet another day. Just get through another day.
This one was weird tho.
Pup, i know.
Most of my friends are white, but among my token set of negroid companions, we have a gag. Any more of a gathering of one of us within a city block is a plus one situation. Plus two if three of us are assembled at which point we expect to see a swat team crashing thru the windows.
It is a gag, but funny, cause more likely to happen when a striped ‘roo’er takes to his phone in panic.
Got to call one of them now….
…
I used to live in a very diverse Toledo, now I live in the OTHER Portland which is not. There are some Hispanics, but so few blacks – it’s count on the fingers of one hand. I am not comfortable with this, but other than being my normal friendly self to all – I’m frustrated that this is not a more welcoming community. I think what you said was perfect, funny yet ‘got your number.’ Wish I had been there!
Jane, I will be making a visit to dayton sometime this spring to visit a friend and hopefully hook up with buckeye and stuckinlodi. Wonder if you might be able to make a trip down. Woyld love to meet you as well.
Also, every town needs large black stoned guys and uppity ones in imma thinkin abt 12 percent of the population….
🙂
Oh teh poor dear wee beastie.
Verily evolution doth make trollburger of us all, both hero & schnook alike, without any respecting whether we believe in it or scoff.
A weasel hath not such a deal of spleen as ye are toss’d with!
Provider. Let me know when you’ll be in Dayton. I live an hour down the road in Columbus.
I did feel an immediate sense of danger, which was my own personal failing, but I looked around and only a few people had even noticed me, most just didn’t care. And so I didn’t care either. I stayed and got food and behaved like a normal, respectful person – again, because I am not a Conservative. But that’s just me…
Racists are very narcissistic people. They think that they are the center of the universe, the pinnacle of creation, so they think that all eyes are on them, glaring hostilely.
It’s like the “English only” proponents who are convinced that everybody speaking Spanish is talking about them. Fool, those guys are talking about fútbol.
I assume most people aren’t out to harm me and that is more likely due to a good upbringing more then a sense of white privilege.
DID YOU GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ICE TEA?
As far as I can tell from this tale, the “Racist” did absolutely nothing overt toward the Large Black Man. Thanks for accosting someone you perceived to have committed a thought crime. You sound like a raging asshole. Congrats.
Thanks for the kind words brewmm. I am a raging asshole, and as it takes one to know one…
Btw your comments should be clear from now on so feel free to offer any insights you might have in the future.
Your shorter is spot on.
Cheers
I surely will major. Would love to hang. Nothing concrete yet, but you will be posted.
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It is fascinating to me how racist attitudes linger after institutional forms disappear. And, in the US, how being a racist or being perceived as one actually now brings social sanction and people will deny it vehemently.
I was brung up racist, obviously and it took years of anti-racist consciousness-raising and conscious mind work to change. I put in the work because I was involved in the Struggle Against Apartheid but most people don’t bother and just change their outward expression because it has become unacceptable. The little kids remind me every day that racism or tolerance must be taught.
dude, you need to stop hanging at mickey d’s! I had the misfortune of hanging out here* thinking that the asshat who sent me the link in an email was sending me something worthwhile.**
and holy vile nut jobs, the comments section is a veritable mango plantation and it looks like it will be a bumper crop!
*warning, it’s WaPo…
**it being WaPo and him being a major wingnut, i most certainly should have known better…
I have a new blog post up, and I’d be interested in some feedback on a daydream I had this morning. Please give it a read and leave a comment, especially if you are of the computer programmy type.
Also FYWP.
New one, about this one, up. Thanks brewmn for the fodder.
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Provider – just saw your note about Dayton – only an hour and a half easy drive for me – if I get the $ and can get the car running reliably again, I’m in. My good friends who used to live in Dayton used to be involved in the food/beverage scene there, so know that there are lots of good meeting places there.
Heck, if I was afraid of being the only white person in the room, I could never go home.
Wonder what ‘difficult’ place the unfortunate fellow used to work in, and the manifold microaggressions he’d had to endure. Regnerus Press would probably buy his memoirs – “Taking Care of Myself – Thirty Years a Middle School Counselor”.
“As far as I can tell from this tale, the “Racist” did absolutely nothing overt toward the Large Black Man. Thanks for accosting someone you perceived to have committed a thought crime. You sound like a raging asshole. Congrats.” Lord, are you a dipshit.