I keep hoping that the shorters are exaggerated. No. It’s not.

. A physical connection between a female couple, like a physical connection between man and woman, is based primarily on acts of affection. The most common sexual practice between two men involves an act of aggression —inflicting more pain than pleasure for at least one of the parties.

My bet would be that this is a very consciously designed appearance of not just ridiculous prejudice but interest. My guess is that he could actually have written in much more detail and accuracy about the degree of pleasure experienced by both parties involved in male homosexual sexual relations.

And still these weirdos insist that the problem with letting gay gay gays serve openly and flauntingly in the military or with gay gay gay gay marriage is that people like those Medved writes for are uncomfortable admitting that steaming shower-based male homo sex is what they first think of when considering these two policies.

“Medved: “Every time I sit on this monster, it really hurts!””

I call fake Medved. That girl has been seen in the immediate vicinity of missing Amsterdammertjes, if yo know what I mean and I’m sure you do.

Lots of lube, and go slowly the first few times until you get the feel for it. Uh,,, totes heterosexually, of course.

consciously designed appearance of not just ridiculous prejudice but interest

Oops. Instead of “interest”, I meant to type “ignorance”, because the former is the meaning of the rest of the sentence. I meant that Medved is just pretending not to know what the pleasure balance is as he thinks about, contemplates, meditates on, breathes heavily at, male-male homosex.

He can’t write to his readership without playing the same game they do — oh, they don’t know nuthin’ ’bout no buttsex, just what it seems like what, you know, one of them fellers that I ain’t and I ain’t never much known might do, and I don’t want nobody to get an idea that I know the slightest detail about what homobuttsex is like.

Obviously, Mikey has never heard of a little thing called foreplay. Or maybe he’s confused, seeing as this happens in the rear?

Yeah. I remember getting boinked while tracking aircraft, grabbing the scope and crying out the coordinates in rapture while everyone else in operations evaluated the level of violence in the act, wait—no—that didn’t actually happen. Oddly enough, we didn’t actually have sex at work—so unlike the workaday world for civilians.

OH MY GOD

You know, I really, REALLY wish this wasn’t an accurate representation of Medved’s post. Sigh.

For those unfortunates who, like me, got out of the boat – Michael’s begging the question (actually). His argument has as it’s foundational core the same statement as the conclusion. That variation between genders is greater than variation within genders – notably in the case of interpersonal and intimate relations. In Medved’s formulation, the only factor which affects the nature of the couple is the genders of the individuals – so by extension it appears that the individuals themselves don’t matter, so long as they have the right plumbing.

Not an unexpected argument from the right, where being female or gay or not-white or worship of a differently named All-Powerful Deity serves as enough information that the entire character, motives and thought processes can be instantly determined.

Less pompous version: Hey Medved, I’m totes boning yer old lady!

Medved. A real winner. Yeah, he knows nothing about gay male sex with that flava sava moustache.

And Michael J. Nelson from MST3k salivates over this guy’s show. Fuck you, Nelson!

i’m a bottom. who knew that when i beg for it i’m begging for rape!!

The most common sexual practice between two men

Uh … totes heterosexually, of course this isn’t true, is it? I doubt if Sen. Larry Craig was going to drop trou & bend over in that stall.

Seems as if 90% of homo-induced hysteria has to do w/ “Buttsecks, horribly unnatural!! Poop!” & few references to putting a lip-lock on a love-muscle. (Pee-hole!)

Case in point: If you don’t have “reproductive” sex, you have no human/”natural” rights.

Catholic shitheads.

Speaking of poor Mrs. Medved, I feel sorry for the woman. Her husband actually believes that sex can only have the formulation of aggressive male and affectionate female. I suppose the only release for her is in the embraces of all the cabana boys at the resort. And the handful of random homeless people she picked up off the beach.

Actually, strike that. Who opens a blog post blaming homeless people for ruining their vacation? I take it back Michael, I didn’t bone your wife – and won’t until she learns to see other people as people, even if they are homeless. Your mom can let her know what she’s missing out on.

The comments are pretty good actually.

,,,this isn’t true, is it?

I think I can help explain. Gay men only give blowjobs to straight guys and only engage in buttsecks with each other. It’s a scientific fact. Therefore having your cock sucked by a guy is totes straight.

In Medved’s defense, lesbian sex can be totally hot.

Nobody told him that lesbians can strap one on, huh?

A physical connection between a female couple, like a physical connection between man and woman, is based primarily on acts of affection.

Mikey M. needs to read more S. Clay Wilson comics.

It’s counterintuitive, Michael. You have to push.

But then, you know that.

Case in point: If you don’t have “reproductive” sex, you have no human/”natural” rights.

Catholic shitheads.

Soooo…. Nuns and Priests have no rights?

http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/11/29/DADT_Commentary_Suggests_Corrective_Rape_for_Lesbians/

Compare and contrast. Spelling will count.

Medved can in Tbogg’s infamous phrase, eat a bag of salted dicks and , my I add, choke on them.

The comments [@Medved] are pretty good actually.

Worth reading, for sure. It’s good to see flak thrown up at his own site.

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

“Lots of lube, and go slowly the first few times until you get the feel for it. Uh,,, totes heterosexually, of course.”

Why would anyone assume otherwise? Surely no homosexuals would post on the internet. That’s just crazy!

For those unfortunates who, like me, got out of the boat

First Law of Shorters: NEVER get out of the boat.
Second Law of Shorters: See First Law.

DKW: Mrs. Medved’s blog kinda makes me wonder why Mr. Medved sees any connection between women and affection. I’m almost wondering if she’s a parody; I just can’t imagine a real person expressing that kind of privileged disdain in a public forum. I mean, unless she’s trolling for hate traffic.

First Law of Shorters

I know. Thing is, I’m an obsessive-compulsive clicker (one of the traits that makes me popular with moms). For example, (Click image for NSFW version.)? Kinda obvious what the image would be. I clicked. Twice. Totes heterosexually of course.

Not even his site. powered by Bonneville Seattle

Part of Bonneville International, which may or may not be owned by the LDS Church, but is certainly heavily Mormon-influenced.

Oh, yup, wiki sez it’s wholly owned by the really old whitesome & delightsome guy religion.

” The most common sexual practice between two men involves an act of aggression —inflicting more pain than pleasure for at least one of the parties”

It sounds as if he’s done some research…or desperately wants to.

“And Michael J. Nelson from MST3k salivates over this guy’s show. Fuck you, Nelson!”

*sobs*

I’m bored. DKW @0:56 pretty much sliced and diced Medved like a Veg-O-Matic.

I couldn’t find a hook into the l-o-n-g music conversation in the previous thread, either: No frame of reference with the bands and artists and the taxonomy of music labels.

So I had nothin’ last night and I’ve got nothin’ tonight. Have fun.

Thanx Pouting Snidely, but I did retract that comment when I found out how odious his wife was. Another reason to stay, this is the perfect forum for talking about hot ghey sex. Uh,,, totes heterosexually of course.

Also, too. It’s been an hour – don’t tell me no one’s clicked on the hot lesbian sex link.

Nuns and Priests have no rights?

It’s not rights-denying to be celibate (More energy can then be devoted to slaving for the Church; funny how that works out.) but if you insist on depleting your vital essences, there is only one hole in which the essences may be depleted (Need new parishoners!) & it must be blessed by an old male goof-ball in a dress.

Actually, I don’t think nuns have any rights in the Church, You can look it up.

Must be tough to be Medved, self-hating closet case & Jew who so loathes himself he works for Mormons.

Now I’m off to watch/hear all the Pimplejuice vids people linked, for anger increasing purposes, & then play the homeless card at Mrs. Medved’s dump. She seems to be a truly awful being. Perhaps she will drown in the Hawai’ian surf during her vacation, if dying in a fire can’t be arranged.

I just got Rickroll’d.

I cannot stop laughing. The Shorter is a completely accurate and faithful representation in this case, which just absolutely kills me. I swear, Medved and Fischer need to get together and … umm … compare notes. (I think that’s code.)

Not to encourage you, but that was “hot lesbian sex” alright! Made me want to poke eyes & ears out w/ a hot lesbian dilrod.

P.S.: You do know you can read the actual title in the browser tab, don’t you?

Medved and Fischer need to get together

I doubt the two of them have enough natural blood flow between them to power one small stiffie.

Ok, I got Rickroll’d, had to endure Medved’s obvious preoccupation with buttsex, and was again reminded that MJN is a wingnut. When do the good times start?

Did I scare everyone off? Good! I’m gonna have hot gay sex…with myself!!!

That’s the gayest sex of all!

P.S.: You do know you can read the actual title in the browser tab, don’t you?

Wait. Aren’t you on 7 now? Don’t tell me you’re using a non-IE browser with Windows 7. That’s like cheating. Because even if you do open in a New Tab, you still get at least some of Rick’s dulcet tones regardless of how fast you click the little x.

Good! I’m gonna have hot gay sex…with myself!!!

That’s the gayest sex of all!

We already know what you’re thinking about when you masturbate.

So is it aggressive or affectionate when heterosexual couples buttsex it up?

Interclue means never having to get Rickrolled.

“We already know what you’re thinking about when you masturbate.”

Refresh my mammary…what ami thinking about?

Michael Medved?
Jessica Alba?
Myself? (Gay!!!)

Ok, I got Rickroll’d, had to endure Medved’s obvious preoccupation with buttsex, and was again reminded that MJN is a wingnut. When do the good times start?

During your fifteenth hour of labor.

“So is it aggressive or affectionate when heterosexual couples buttsex it up?”

Someone needs to call into his radio show and ask him this immediately.

A steady diet of unicorn meat makes one impervious to labor pain. BOOYA!

buttsex it up?”

Geometry, yer doing it…wait a second…draws diagram…never mind.

A steady diet of unicorn meat makes one impervious to labor pain.

I can see how explosive diarrhea would help with the pain.

I clicked on the image and I’m a little confused. Someone help me out here. Which one of those things is a Michael Medved and which one’s a dildo?

It would be distracting at least.

vs, you are thinking about hot gay sex. Or possibly about MOAR HOT GAY SEX!!!!

I had thought that our trysting would have put all thought of sweaty man on man action out of your head, but apparently your vibrant fantasies do not seem to accomodate the notion that I’m totes heterosexual.

Oh dear, that photo’s just degrading. Oh well, I suppose the dildo gets used to it.

DKW–you have it all wrong. All my hot gay secks fantasies involve me getting it on with some hot chick…and you watching. Participating if you’re a good boy.

“Oh dear, that photo’s just degrading. Oh well, I suppose the dildo gets used to it.”

I chuckled.

Oh, well in that case, carry on. BTW, what happens if I’m a bad boy instead?

Don’t tell me you’re using a non-IE browser with Windows 7
(Not just any old Widowmakers 7, but [La-di-dah!] Ultimate!)

Chrome all the way, baby!* And unless the home theatre is on devil-box audio, I hear noz-zing!

Also, didn’t think you, being totes het & all, would even know where to find any hot lesbian sex. (Most of which is just for guys to watch anyway. I hear real lesbian sex is pretty dull, if the ladies can get around to suggesting it to each other in the first place.)

*Submitted myself to Google to test one of their Chrome OS boxes, but have not heard from them yet. Considering the $5.00 (A yr.!) I paid the bastards for more storage, I’m pretty ticked about that.

A bunch of stuff that will elicit cries of “get a room!”

BTW, what happens if I’m a bad boy instead?

The “hot chick” is named Peg.

Team Firefox.

“In Medved’s defense, lesbian sex can be totally hot.”

I wonder what kind of review he gave “Wild Things”?

A bunch of stuff that will elicit cries of “get a room!”

Meta, or just can’t think of anything nasty enough?

Of course he’s right, as shown by the fact that women have absolutely no idea what the term “hatesex” means.

I’m pretty ticked about that.

So much for Don’t Be Evil.

Look, I appreciate that Intartoob Exploder is a worthless sack of shit, but MS is all about the hegemony. You can’t be browsing with non-MS applications! That’d be like installing a third-party browser on an iPad or drinking Woodford Reserve out of a Bulleit glass.

CONFORM! CONFORM! CONFORM!

“Meta, or just can’t think of anything nasty enough?”

Ohhhhh, I’d never call these things nasty. Just extremely hot.

we didn’t actually have sex at work—so unlike the workaday world for civilians.

Especially for pizza delivery guys, plumbers, and mailmen, as the kind of family entertainment I enjoy so accurately shows.

Team Firefox.

Nope, too much junk. Used it for my second browser, mostly for streaming tunes, & even before I screwed my system, FF suddenly went bad, even w/ dumping it & reinstalling it. Now that Chrome has made leaving full-screen possible w/o hitting F11, I’ve no complaints at all.

Something dirty, too, in the meta-spirit. Oh, porn name was “Chuck Tittles,” & that was based on M. “Chas.” Bouffant, not my legal name.

a physical connection between man and woman, is based primarily on acts of affection

And why is penetrative penile / vaginal sex an act of affection? Because it is an act of affection.
Circular reasoning is circular.

It’s even hotter if you “pretend” it’s dirty & nasty.

Actually Smut, I do believe the full quote is

A physical connection between a female couple, like a physical connection between man and woman,,,

Meaning, Diane keeps pressuring Michael for more of that awkwardly unsatisfying bumping (in teh hopes that this month’s Cosmo gave her The Secret Technique That Will Drive Him Wild In Bed) but Michael is too ascared of a repeat of that incident from three years back when Little Michael just wouldn’t do his part.

It’s even hotter if you “pretend” it’s dirty & nasty.

To be fair, it would have to be pretty fucking dirty and nasty to be hotter than a threesome involving Jessica Alba. Oh, and me too. Because I am totes so F!n hot that it’d be like “Jessica who?”

Anyways, sex doesn’t have to be ultra kinky (says the mom lover) to be hot. Having some boundaries with what you’re comfortable with isn’t necessarily a turn-off. And you already raised the pot to pegging, which I enthusiastically endorse but is getting close to the edge of my comfort zone.

True, by “physical connection” he could simply be referring to that accident with the superglue.

the edge of my comfort zone.

You kids and your new names for everything. What’s wrong with ‘taint’?

“Anyways, sex doesn’t have to be ultra kinky (says the mom lover) to be hot. ”

Butting in to the convo re: DKW, Jessica and apparently some forgettable chick to say I agree wholeheartedly with this.

DKW, Jessica and apparently some forgettable chick
DKW wasn’t that specific about the 3rd member of the threesome.

,,,getting close to the edge of my comfort zone.

Which is probably why I find getting pegged to be so fucking hot. So there’s that.

It reminds me of a Savage Love bit (can’t be arsed to lookitup) about how video and pr0n technologies have advanced so far that kinks can be super-weird and it’s a shame that there are kids growing up that’ll have (IIRC) minotaur fetishes because that is some hard shit to try and accomodate in bed.

Really, a nice girl who is comfortable about her body and sexuality enough to joke about them on the ‘trons despite being five months pregnant. Throw in some threesome action and in terms of fantasy chicks, carping about not having your diaper fetish humoured seems kinda dickish.

UPDATE: I could be arsed. It was about centaurs not minotaurs and I think the commentary was in the podcast that week.

DKW wasn’t that specific about the 3rd member of the threesome.

Oh man, sorry vs’s mom vs! It’s totally you! That random third member* meant nothing to me. Um. No wait- the forgettable third is the most importan,,, UNforgettable third!1!

Aw fuck. This isn’t what you had in mind when I suggested behaving badly, is it?

*VP^3R

Medved’s just a little misinformed.
To confirm his “buttsecks = pain” theory he tried experimenting with a hairbrush, but in his case the business-end wasn’t the handle.

Uh,,, getting pegged in a totes heterosexual way, of course.

“Oh man, sorry vs’s mom”

Well, at least this leaves me free to turn in early.

Uh,,, getting pegged in a totes heterosexual way, of course.

Um, if I understand you kids and your crazy moon lingo, “pegging” is by definition hetero. With a small twist. So to speak. Come to think of it, I suppose the “twist” can be any size you like.

I actually commented at Mrs. Malved’s post. Her lack of self-awareness is astounding. She and her husband deserve each other but what did we in the Northwest do to deserve the pair of them?

Uh,,, getting pegged in a totes heterosexual way, of course.

By playing Peggle?

Especially for pizza delivery guys, plumbers, and mailmen, as the kind of family entertainment I enjoy so accurately shows.

Man, I delivered packages right up to x-mas, and not one lonely housewife invited me in for a quickie. I’m beginning to think all those movies lied to me.

Man, I delivered packages right up to x-mas

Maybe your packages weren’t big enough.

Has anyone else read What Really Happened to the Class of ’65? I picked it up in an idle moment decades ago, and distinctly remember Jamie Kelso–yeah, that Jamie Kelso, who attended HS with Medved– quoted therein, approvingly citing Medved as his only equal in the class in terms of mental firepower.

Kelso’s a completely whacked white-power dood these days, after passing through many foregoing lunacy phases including Scientology, etc. The endorsement, it rings!

Also this thread needs moar Pimplemøøse

By playing Peggle?

Is that the one where the balls go bouncing around all over tha place? If so, then yes. Exactly like that.

Maybe your packages weren’t big enough.

Oh, it’s big, baby. Use both hands. Lift with your legs.

Freight deliveries in the rear?

Re: pompeinoose or whatever the fuck their name is, I find them too bland to be offensive. Even the chick is cute in extremely bland plain Jane kind of way. Man, just typing this making me sleepy.

I delivered packages right up to x-mas, and not one lonely housewife invited me in for a quickie

It only works if the soundtrack is playing.

“It only works if the soundtrack is playing.”

And also you have to have a moustache.

Freight deliveries in the rear?

Or the side door. I’m flexible.

And also you have to have a moustache.

Damn. I bet that’s what it was.

Aaaaaand, did you ask if they wanted sausage with their pizza?

(How is it that someone as ridiculously, head in the clouds, should probably only exist in books romantic like me be so good at making dirty jokes?)

Freight deliveries in the rear?

Sometimes you have to shift the furniture around to accommodate the new piece.
Tell you what, ma’am, shall we see if this looks any better up on the mantelpiece?

head in the clouds
I am interested in your anexdotes and would like to subscribe to your “Mile-High Club” newsletter.

“head in the clouds
I am interested in your anexdotes and would like to subscribe to your “Mile-High Club” newsletter.”

D’oh! Walked right into that one!

This distinction helps explain the oft-noted quirk in public attitudes that sees stronger opposition and denunciation, in the Old Testament and elsewhere, to a physical relationship between two males and intimacy between two females.

Nothing at all to do with culture, nosiree.

And I don’t mean the kind of culture that your mother thought she had when she asked me to view her etchings last night.

Anyways, I said no, I’m too busy watching two wingnut men drive eachother up the pole. Which was good viewing cause there’s no lubrication for some good pole driving like self hatred.

what did we in the Northwest do to deserve the pair of them?

Dunno, but I’m glad they’re not down here any more, as I would’ve had to speak to her personally about her empathy problem.

Also, maybe having fewer swarthy types in the Great White Northwest. They wouldn’t be the first to head north for that reason.

Ah, now I know where DKW’s mom got those pirated copies of Bend Over Boyfriends One and Two.

Tonight on NPR/APM’s “Marketplace”, Megan McAwful:

“McArdle: I’m not sure. You know, when you look at how people expect house prices to eventually appreciate again, when you look at the rationales that are still offered by the people like the National Association of Realtors, it’s not clear to me that people have gotten the notion that you consume housing. It’s not a durable investment good, it’s not supposed to be the biggest part of your investment portfolio.”

I shan’t comment.

Here’s some fun: if you can stand to get off the boat, read Medved’s entire column in the voice of Mr. Brown from “Reservoir Dogs”.

Here’s some fun: if you can stand to get off the boat, read Medved’s entire column in the voice of Mr. Brown from “Reservoir Dogs”.

Bend Over Boyfriends One and Two

Looked it up, which was dumb. How could such a title NOT exist?

FYWP. No one must know my name isn’t Ernest.

No one must know my name isn’t Ernest.

That’s important to know, so thanks for the bulletin.

Also this thread needs moar Pimplemøøse

Also moar Swedish jokes in the titles and credits. Especially Ytterby, Sweden jokes. And moar Dudeskull, too. This thread is full of defects!

Nevertheless, I am feeling truly penitent for having bailed before we were over the LZ. Slayer showed up and DKW and Clyde and Bull and other folks got rolling and, SHEEEEEeeeeee-itt, I missed out on a good thang.

To make amends for my poutiness, the parenthetic part of my monniker releases the zombies! Let the ghoulish feasting commence!

(But zombies is yet another subject where I’ve got nothin’: I donts likes the zombies, and donts understand ’em, or any of the references and jokes. So I’m doing this out of pure altruism for lovers of zombie mayhem!)

I had fun reading the conversation, once it picked up steam. Thanx to all. As always, have fun!

Nobody’s told Medved that a heterosexual man is still a virgin until he gets taken in the ass by a woman in whatever way pleases her most?

If we’re going to let guys like Medved decide what’s normal and what’s deviant, I doubt we can keep people interested enough in sex for the species to reproduce itself.

The most common sexual practice between two men involves an act of aggression —inflicting more pain than pleasure for at least one of the parties.

What kind of awful blowjobs has Medved been getting?

The English Cucumber, while larger and longer than a regular cucumber, has a smoother surface… totes heterosexually, of course.

OK, I fell off the boat.

What the FUCK is he talking about?

The whole live gerbil thing, while attractive in theory, can actually be quite problematic …totes heterosexually, of course.

With the uninitiated, re-enacting scenes from history – Washington crossing the Delaware, the Raft of the Medusa, etc. – can help ease any anxiety …totes heterosexually, of course.

during lesbian sex:

“I wish I could grow my fingernails that long.”

A bunch of stuff that will elicit cries of “get a room!”

NOTE: pegging will NOT be on the menu, as that is not my scene at all. AT ALL.

My mom will probably do it, though.

Oh…and did everyone check out Pup’s link to this diamond-studded turd yesterday? Come on. It’s Jonah. On gays. And marriage. Trying to…oh, I don’t know…somehow wrest victory from the jaws of defeat. You know you want to click. You know you want to.

Don’t be hating on diamond-studded turds. Hefner’s hands shake too much to slip on a regular engagement ring, so smearing works better.

You mean when he marries the next plastic blow-up doll young enough to be his great granddaughter?

He got engaged this past week. To…wait for it…a large-breasted blond.

Of course he did.

I’m watching William Bennett on Cpan now. He’s one of those punchable conservatives.

Charles reminds us this is a CENTER-RIGHT NATION: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/30/AR2010123003047.html

Looked it up, which was dumb. How could such a title NOT exist?

Oooh, there’s a blog!

Aaaaaand it’s horrifying.

So is it aggressive or affectionate when heterosexual couples buttsex it up?

depends whos watching… errrr.. what was the question again…

what was the question again

Buttsex: in or out? take it or leave it? hot or not? agricultural or industrial? good or bad?

Depends on the person. It’s not something I’m terribly interested in, but that doesn’t mean it’s not totally hot for other people.

butssex; good or bad

Talk about innocent… I’ll have to go and look up ‘pegging’…..

.
.

Oh my .. is that for real !!!!!!! Guess my line is positioned differently… (VPR)

OT: I have a go-to formula for steak marinades but I’ve grown bored with it. Anyone have some easy steak marinade recipes you’d like to share?

OT: I have a go-to formula for steak marinades but I’ve grown bored with it. Anyone have some easy steak marinade recipes you’d like to share?

This could be both on topic and off topic given that there is porn associated with almost everything and anything but:

Brining meats. I have brined (oh, here it comes–“Oh, is that what the kids call it these days?” and “Oh, it tastes salty, does it?”) poultry, pork and roast beast before. The idea is not to create corned beef (another) but to give the meat the ability to hold moisture and stay nice and juicy (MOAR!). You can add anything you want to the brine solution for spices, that’s to your taste.

Feast, ye scurvy dogs.

And, Happy New Year.

As well.

Anyone have some easy steak marinade recipes you’d like to share?

Mrs. __B, but I don’t know what it is.

Thanks, guys.

Looch, I did a salt/sugar brine with coriander and pink and black peppercorns. A brine was a great idea.

I’ve come* to realize there are two kinds of people: pro-sex and anti-sex. It’s not about breeder vs. queer, miscegenation, purity before marriage, or any of the other sixty million issues erected† around the subject of gettin’ busy.

Some people aren’t into it, some are.

If you really enjoy teh sexxin, you can forgive others for enjoying it in different manners. If you don’t, you can’t, because it’s bad enough you have to act like you think hetero sex is normal, when in fact it makes your skin crawl [illustrated newsletter available].

So J. Goldfap, Medved, et al. are hatin’ on the phegs, sure. But not because of the yucky things homos do. They’re hatin’ on the nasty in general, and this is the only outlet‡ they have.

*VPR
†VPR
‡&c.

If you don’t, you can’t, because it’s bad enough you have to act like you think hetero sex is normal don’t get a red sash from the Anti-Sex League, as Orwell promised you.

Oh yeah: FIQQST.

Two notable things about this Pimply Moose video of MJ’s “Beat It”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meT2eqgDjiM

a) she almost makes an effort for about 10 seconds, halfway in!

2) after the song is over? SAMMICH!

NOTE: pegging will NOT be on the menu, as that is not my scene at all. AT ALL.

That’s okay, maybe Jessica’s into it.

This is probably the worst possible time to address the steak marinade question.

I find that any non-cream salad dressing works nicely. Balsamic vinagrette, one of those fruity rasperry ones, a simple olive oil-vinegar-oregano mix*. If you’re mixing your own, you can add a little more vinegar than you would if you were prepping it for salad. Bonus – you’ll already have a salad dressing mixed too.

Also too, have you considered a dry rub? You do seem to be exceptionally skilled at rubbing meat.

Butt[sic] for definitive advice, we’ll need to know what cut of steak you’re cooking and for Pup Max to weigh in.

*VGreekR

I’m with Medved on this. The only kind of sex that should be allowed in the world is the kind that makes me personally hot. Every other kind of sex is icky and wrong, and should be banned.

The first kind of sex that I would ban would be between my parents. Bleah. Who wants to think about something like tha…

“I find that any non-cream salad dressing works nicely. Balsamic vinagrette, one of those fruity rasperry ones, a simple olive oil-vinegar-oregano mix*. ”

This is true. I really ought to have one on hand.

I do not have the energy to pretend I know what you kids are talking about. N-B: Whut?

it’s not clear to me that people have gotten the notion that you consume housing. It’s not a durable investment good, it’s not supposed to be the biggest part of your investment portfolio.

Most people really are dumb when it comes to money. You wouldn’t believe what percentage of their income some folks spend on food. No wonder they are so poor!

N-B: Whut?

Which comment?

Oh, and it’s filet mignon. Also, this all over the place convo is starting to make me giggle.

I can a imagine someone new to S,N being like “WTF?!”

Most people really are dumb when it comes to money. You wouldn’t believe what percentage of their income some folks spend on food. No wonder they are so poor!
I don’t know, I think the return I get on a good hamburger is quite a bit more than the return I get on my managed portfolio in the years when a bunch of sociopaths in business suits run the economy off a cliff. Heck in those years, strippers and blow are a better investment.

“To make amends for my poutiness […]”

Was it even more inedible than the usual?

Sorry about missing the meat prep topic, I like to talk about working with meat almost as much as doing it.

Also, a lot of supermarket pork and chicken is already “brined” – it’s sold by weight after all so they inject salt water.

FIQSST ??

Aha, filet. Yes, you need to add flavor to filet – it don’t got much of its own.

Some people aren’t into it, some are.

Yet I bet most adult asexuals would never dream of advocating an anti-sex model of ethics or morality – they usually see sexuality as comical or boring on the occasions they encounter it, not evil or frightening.

did everyone check out Pup’s link to this diamond-studded turd yesterday?

“Everyone” didn’t, but YALAKAZAM! Oops, now it’s too late for “everyone” to un-skim it.

Credit where it’s due: on a very good day (for Trig!), Goldberg could out-pontificate Palin, Gingrich & Ledeen put together with one lip tied behind his back. Limitations like content or lucidity would only sully the chaste majesty of his defective brainfarts frantically mimicking something with an actual point.

Teh Ghey Bourgeoisie means wingnuts = W1NZ0RZ?

Earth to Jonah: Gay Lib was bourgeois from day one. Radicalism’s almost always born from the middle-class: they’ve got both the knowledge & the capital to give it legs & broaden its appeal, not to mention a healthy survival instinct. Tautology is a piss-poor fishing-grounds for insight. PS – your mushmouthed “DADT, yeah whatevevs brah, I knew they’d get equal rights, like, all along” spiel is not convincing.

I can a imagine someone new to S,N being like “WTF?!”

COMMENTING IN EPIC MARINADE THREAD!

Heck in those years, strippers and blow are a better investment.

When the Republicans are in power, do as Republicans do.

A friend of mine — not me, you understand — viewed a video yesterday in which a young lady urinated on a gentleman’s erect penis as part of the erotic interplay in which they were engaged. So this thread — to my friend, obviously — seems completely on-topic throughout.

And if radicalism came from the blue collar or poor, would that make the NRO crowd happy?

Somehow, I suspect not.

Mr. Moistcrack,
Don’t you have a problem with loaning out your vids? My friends never return them.

FIQSST ??

Fixed, even though it was perfectly fine before I altered it.

Phun wif Phonics.

Ah. Gotcha. I thought it was a whole new acronym, like V(X)R.
Thenk yew.

“DADT, yeah whatevevs brah, I knew they’d get equal rights, like, all along” spiel is not convincing

I think this is yet another example of wingnuts operating under no principle but “if it hurts libs,” it’s good. Since they can’t take this away from us, they have to pretend they’re not butthurt about it.

Now somebody give me something good to do with carrots.

Oddly enough, we didn’t actually have sex at work—so unlike the workaday world for civilians.

speak for yourself.

Now somebody give me something good to do with carrots.
I believe the movie “Shoot ‘Em Up”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0465602/
has some good ideas about things to do with carrots.

Medved’s gone through his life with his head up his ass, so he has no idea what anything smaller wsould feel like.

Maybe this isn’t the best possible thread to bring up chocolate, but…WANT

Medved’s gone through his life with his head up his ass, so he has no idea what anything smaller wsould feel like.

I chuckled.

New year’s day must include pork and sauerkraut. I usually roast a nice chunk of pork loin. If you haven’t bought that crap prebrined factory pork – which you damn well better not have – include some juniper berries in the brine (gin, too, goes very well with pork). Season the roast with salt and pepper. Toss a quartered onion in the roasting pan along with a stalk or two of celery which you’ve snapped into pieces and a large carrot cut into four or five pieces. Set a roasting rack in the panand put the roast on it fatty side up. Dump a cup of dry French Vermouth and a cup of chix or veg stock. Roast at 375 – timing depends on the size but circa 40 minutes will likely do it. Check occasionally to add liquid if necessary (and it should be necessary). The veg and juices should brown some but you mustn’t let them burn – add more stock or water as needed. Remove the roast when done and tent with foil. Press the veggies to extract all their juices and remove from the pan. Put the pan on the range covering two burners on medium and, adding water or stock as needed, brown the fond and juices scraping and shaking constantly. When you have a lovely dark brown liquid add as much stock as you want for gravy. Whisk in a big knob of butter and optionally a couple tablespoons of vinegar. Sprinkle with Wondra flour to thicken to nappe.

Braised sauerkraut – toss chopped onion, diced peeled apple and a large pinch of caraway seeds into a heavy, lidded sauce pot. Season with salt and pepper. Add a hefty glug of dry white wine and put on a low burner for several hours, covered. Check occasionally to stir and add liquid if necessary.

Dice an onion and a couple slices bacon. Sauté together in a largish pot until the onions are soft. Add prepped green beans and water to cover. Dump a couple tablespoons vinegar in there too. Bring to the simmer and cook for as long as you wish – this ain’t tender-crisp beans we’re doing.

Mashed potatoes go well. I’ll allow you to buy some rye bread but it’s far better to make some Meisel’s rye bread which recipe might or might not be found on the webs.

I’m fond of Bitburger (damn Dinkelacker seems to have abandoned the US market) and or a Franken trocken or halbtrocken.

Heh, apple strudel is mandatory.

If you’re bored…or have no life…like me, revel in the sick projection that makes up so much of the wingnut mind. UN-BE-FUCKING-LIEVABLE.

Sounds amazing, Pup, but I’ll be making whatever happens to be left in my freezer/pantry. I’m cleaning them out before I go shopping.

Although it’s been said many times, many ways … HAPPY OLD YEAR!

Although it’s been said many times, many ways … HAPPY OLD YEAR!
2010 was not a great year, but it could have been a lot worse.

I have to reluctantly agree with the commentor on NPR yesternight who characterized 2010 in one word: “Mean.”

Medved’s gone through his life with his head up his ass,

So, butteks for him also includes a good skull fucking?

Oops, I’m the one sometimes called Maurice who left an “S” out of buttseks. Sorry.

Some people call me Maurice ’cause I speak of the Pomplamoose of love said,

Nymwin.

Now somebody give me something good to do with carrots.

Slice ’em up (or use baby ones if you’re lazy) and steam ’em until they’re just tender, then toss them with sesame oil and toasted sesame seeds (1 tbsp. of oil and seeds for 1lb of carrots).

I have had people who do not care for cooked carrots love this.

Accidental ambiguity: 1 tbsp. EACH of oil and of toasted seeds. The original recipe also called for a few pinches of salt, but I found it plenty flavorful without (but you can always put a shaker or cellar on the table at serve time).

Thanks, anonymous—sounds yummers.

Look, if you stupid hippies insist on eating anything besides MEAT, taters & baked goods, you should at least know better than to cook the nutrients out of your rabbit food.

Eat them raw!

I do make s carrot and parsley salad that’s pretty yummy and rabbity.

Look, if you stupid hippies insist on eating anything besides MEAT, taters & bakedfried goods

Fixicated to properly protest agianst Michelle’s socialest agenda against fat kids!

Also, Star Spengler Dampniche:
I have finished Rise Again and I assure you that when Rerise Again Again (or whatever you call the next book) comes out I will spend actual cash money to buy it too. In fact, I look forward to doing so.

When I was a kid, my insane family used to do this thing at holidays called a “progressive dinner”. (They did not know the true meaning of “progressive”.) That meant that everyone piled into cars and went to one house for appetizers, then across town for more, then someone else’s house for dinner, etc. Of course, people at the individual houses were getting stuff ready, then after their gig, they’d join the migration, which made for a mob at dessert.

The pertinent point was that every single stop involved the consumption of lots and lots of alcohol. And not stupid sissy wine, either. They went for the whiskey sours, martinis, Manhattans, gin and tonics, and of course plenty of beer. To this day I cannot believe that we all lived to tell about it. Well, those of us who remember the actual event enough to tell about it, anyway.

What I started out to do was to ask all of y’all for your actual real street addresses (c’mon, what could go wrong), because I’m hungry and delicious meals are being prepared and I keep being elsewhere. Then I remembered about the progressive dinners. I think I like the new-fangled progressive progressive dinners better. Nostalgia just tastes funny.

Rerise Again Again (or whatever you call the next book)
Rise Again II: Electric Boogaloo

I’m sticking with Return of the Son of Shut Up and Rise Again.

I’m sticking with Return of the Son of Shut Up and Rise Again.
The Legend of the Return of the Revenge of the Son of Rise Again 2 Part 2 Rides Again!: The Sequel Strikes Back. Again!

I’m looking forward to the final defeat of the zombies in Drop Dead Again, This Time I Mean It!

You forgot “Also, Too!”

a) she almost makes an effort for about 10 seconds, halfway in!

Buttsecks reference?

I’m hungry and delicious meals are being prepared

Potatoes here ’till Monday when the welfare check arrives. C’mon down!

Rinse Again?

Now somebody give me something good to do with carrots.

Bow chikka wow wow!

Bow chikka wow wow!

Hey…if I use the carrots for that, what are you going to use for your fetching carrot-strip wig?

Hey…if I use the carrots for that, what are you going to use for your fetching carrot-strip wig?

Carrots are not a finite good. For the record, parsnips are even better than carrots, and I loves me some carrots.

…an act of aggression —inflicting more pain than pleasure…

Carrots are not a finite good. For the record, parsnips are even better than carrots, and I loves me some carrots.

I like them too, but don’t have them on hand. For wigs, sex toys or just eatin’.

Fried onions make better wigs.

Just sayin’.

And I’ve got the Frist S, N! of S, N! time of 2011.

Fried onions make better wigs.

Phbbpht. Everybody knows that.

REMINDER: Vote for Robin of Berkeley if you haven’t already done so. The poll closes at midnight; last chance to stuff the ballot box. Brave Robin leads by 751. Let’s give her a huge mandate.

In a spirit of generosity and good will, let’s hope that the Gay Patriot also has a man date. New Year’s Eve is a sad time to be alone.

http://www.gaypatriot.net/2010/12/24/grande-conservative-blogress-diva-2011/

Mrs. __B has found cheddar with horseradish IN IT. I don’t know what they did those cows, but it’s worth it.

One of the best things to be made from carrots is an Indian carrot pudding that will knock your socks off, once you convert the measures from that damn socialist eurofag metric system.

“Rise, BRANEZ, Repeat”

For wigs, sex toys or just eatin’.

For some reason I read that in Minnie Pearl’s voice.

I’m trying to imagine the product for which she’d be doing the ad.

———–

Re: Loadpants’ tripe above, I got as far as

So now openly gay soldiers get to fight and die in neocon-imperialist wars too?

before wanting to puke.

Because yah, that’s all our military is for. Fuck you, you worthless sack of moldy jizz.

What I skimmed after that seemed like the worst sort, and I mean least effective sort of concern trolling. What a twunt.

this all over the place convo is starting to make me giggle. I can a imagine someone new to S,N being like “WTF?!”

My reaction exactly when I first began reading the comments as a completely innocent lurker. This place is so off-the-wall.

For any lurker out there: Jump in and get wet. It’s fun!

The Sun Also Rises Again? I like that we’re all helping Robin of Berkeley out as a community. It’s like a crafts project. And at the end, everybody wins.*

*not V[n] R

Eyes on the Rise Again.

Mrs. __B has found cheddar with horseradish IN IT.

I can forgive that cuz you’re not from Wisconsin, are you?

2010 Cheddar and Beer World Champion!

I can forgive that cuz you’re not from Wisconsin, are you?

No, I’m from a state where dairy doesn’t vote.

My last post needs to be read in the voice of Lt. Colonel Killgore.

No, I’m from a state where dairy doesn’t vote.

I’m none too happy my home state is bursting with fuckwits (zombies nothwithstanding). Then again, I now live in IL where most of those fuckwits came from. I think they’re everywhere.

I believe it says in the bible that fuckwits are always with us.

Or Spengler could set the next one in Charleston SC and cash-in bigtime with the ACW sesquicentennial: The South Rises Again.

I can a imagine someone new to S,N being like “WTF?!”

I mentioned S.N! to a friend some time ago, and later found out that he became an occasional if not regular reader. He did mention that he often has no idea what the fuck is going on, but finds that what he can follow is teh funnay and full of win.

So, yeah. I can’t imagine anyone not being all 0¸o ?!?!?!?!? at first.

My reaction exactly when I first began reading the comments as a completely innocent lurker.

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

Yeah, lurkers should all jump into the Maelstrom of Madness.

Mrs. __B has found cheddar with horseradish IN IT. I don’t know what they did those cows, but it’s worth it.

It is wonderful-good! Odd to imagine horseradish and cheddar working so well together, but they do!

but they do!

It’s twoo! It’s twoo!

As I recall, I lost my S,N! cherry when I linked over from C&L at some point, and the comment threads sucked me in with the force of a thousand Actor’s Moms.

Do I remember my first encounter with Sadly, No? S,N. But I know I ended up here way more often on account of I had a hissy fit for some long-forgotten reason about something that may have happened over at Eschaton, bless its heart and long may it live.

Aw-reet!!

cheddar with horseradish IN IT

Cheeseburgers have become one step easier. Who says there’s no more progress?

he often has no idea what the fuck is going on

Such is the destiny of mankind.

Who says there’s no more progress?

Every Repub in the country.

oh… happy new year from the land of Eurotrash….. gay abortions & compulsory spliffs…..

crazy drunk Dutch & fireworks go… but I need to be more trashed…

I mentioned S.N! to a friend some time ago, and later found out that he became an occasional if not regular reader. He did mention that he often has no idea what the fuck is going on, but finds that what he can follow is teh funnay and full of win.

Same here…. mentioned SN to a freind of mine a while ago & I know she lurks here now, as she made a mango joke the other day…. without prompting…..

anyways, back to the joint…

Does anyone still make New Year’s Resolutions?

My 2010 resolution was to drastically cut down on the ‘political’ e-mails and links send to friends and relatives. I used to shotgun stuff out to everyone on my address list. I did pretty well in dialing it w-a-y back in 2010.

Any Resolutions for 2011? (Jokey or real.)

Resolution for 2011: Less Zeppo, more Harpo.

Close the books on 2010.

http://icasualties.org/OEF/index.aspx

I meant to change the monniker in the casualties post. I am very sad. It fucking breaks my heart.

Western Civ is doomed! Batman is going to enforce Sharia Law on our asses. Woe!!

Any Resolutions for 2011? (Jokey or real.)

I will be a good father to Mini__B.

I will defenestrate more bad clients.

I will not leave the boat.

Just popping up to say Happy New Year everybody!

I’m still pissed off that it’s 2011 and I don’t have my flying car, but my iPhone is pretty cool.

I will buy Lurking Canadian an iPhone Flying Car App.

I will prepare actual healthy food, which I will then eat.

I never thought any of these internet open threads were true, until one night, when I was sitting at home on my velour beanbag, in walked two co-eds with a Powerbook…

I used to start my day avoiding work at work by reading the earnest Greenwald. One day, he linked to a point that HTML Mencken made here, I came over, and hoo boy, it was a relief from the ongoing grim news delivered by Glenzilla. Took me a while to understand the lingo, but if you stay here, the lingo changes and you can see it develop before your very eyes.

Also, it helps if you have no life.

Thank you all. I have probably spit out more beverages here than any other ten (real or internet) sites put together.

I resolve to stop changing my name based on whatever has recently made me laugh. Yeah, that’ll work.

I will prepare actual healthy food, which I will then eat.

I hear branes are good.

I hear branes are good.

NO ORGAN MEATS!!!

Just the same two resolutions I make every year. One, not to drink any more.

*ba dum tish*

NO ORGAN MEATS!!!

But pork chops spleens taste good, bacon kidneys taste good.

Also, this would mean adopting a “no hotdogs” policy.

I thought dudes liked it when we “ate organs”. All right..inelegant dirty joke to begin tonight’s festivities.

I thought dudes liked it when we “ate organs”. All right..inelegant dirty joke to begin tonight’s festivities.

My New Year’s resolution: Only date “organic” chicks.

“January 1, 2011 at 2:05

Western Civ is doomed! Batman is going to enforce Sharia Law on our asses. Woe!!”

I got off the boat. You really get a fair and balanced assessment of the way Muslims are treated in Europe. Totally fair.

How did I find this joint?
*drums fingers, scratches chin stubble.*
Maybe Smirking Chimp. Maybe Joe Bageant. The bottom line is SN! delivers some much needed LULZes from some of the funniest commentators on the web.
New Year’s resolution? Track down Gavin M and get him to post once a month. Oh, and whatever happened to The Goddamned Batman?

He’s in France. Duh.

Snidely Whiplash said,January 1, 2011 at 0:18

My reaction exactly when I first began reading the comments as a completely innocent lurker. This place is so off-the-wall.

For any lurker out there: Jump in and get wet. It’s fun!

Rules of thumb for new lurkers:
1) Every new thread starts with 200 comments. Impossible I know, but true.
2) Your clever comment was made 150 comments ago, in another thread, in a completely different year, by somebody else.
b) That commenter is reading at this very moment and within seconds will post an AHEM! link
3) In the unlikely event that you come across a thread with fewer than 50 comments, you will not think of anything funny to say.
4) Do not follow any of Substance Mc’s links if you are in a state that is able to enforce its own laws – particularly morals laws.
5) Yes, VS and DKW should indeed get a room.
6) Your mom has, unbeknownst to you, been engaged in sexual congress with dozens of the male commenters here. Indeed she financed your education by doing this. So stop feeling all butthurt.
7) There has only ever been Tintin posting at S!N. Also we have always been at war with East Asia.
8) Gary Ruppert is a surreal version of Rugged of Montana who is in turn a surreal version of Saul.
9) Yes everybody here should be doing their work/advancing their careers/working for world peace/shellacking the cat rather than wasting their time here. So sue us.
10) You can do a bell-distribution of Actor212 comments and prove mathematically that he is a (possibly the ) standard deviation.

11) Everytime you post a comment, you kill the thread which cannot recommence until Tintin stops have gay abortions with a ratatouille or a sticky bun or whatever the fuck it is that Belgians eat and starts a new one.

Resolutions:

Do more.

Do better.

Don’t get all smug & self-righteous about it.

Also, go to the gym 3 times/week and become fit and strong.

The “do”s apply to all areas of endeavor including work, political action, motorcycling, and sex.

I too am a refugee from the sterner political blogs. I’ve found I can best deal with the unending bad news if it is thoroughly wrapped in a comforting layer of snarkage. I didn’t want to use the word snark but was driven to it by necessity and lack of brainpower.

The GDBM typed something to the effect of he wouldn’t be here much because he had a job or I dunno what. Not much of an excuse.

Not much of an excuse.

Priorities, people, priorities.

My resolution is to stop watching porn and start making it.

I resolve to quit putting pictures of myself on my blog. I predict I will fail in this by January 2.

My resolution is to stop watching porn and start making it.

If you decide to do it for free you would be an organ donor.

Free or not, you’d most certainly be an organ grinder, right?

My meds are off. Sue me.

I predict I will fail in this by January 2.

Your persistence is inspiring.

As in, I feel better about my 24-hour phails.

My resolution is to mangle my writing style, create a fake glibertarian blog, and rake in some sweet wingnut welfare for a few months before a big “reveal” as a socialist.

12) Thread killing is not as embarrassing as you think it might be. Especially after doing it two or three dozen times.

A nice and utterly useless waste of time:

http://unhappyhipsters.com/

Oh, I totally don’t care. I’ll kill a thread just to watch it die.

Btothe4th, your plan is genius–GENIUS.

Oh, I totally don’t care. I’ll kill a thread just to watch it die.

I’m stuck at work all night, so I’ll keep administering CPR.

You just want to put your hands on the thread’s heaving breasts.

You just want to put your hands on the thread’s heaving breasts.

Before applying CPR, the thread’s breasts aren’t exactly heaving.

B4, VS: I am home for New Year’s Eve with the Rotten Little Perisher. He and I have intermittent knee hockey games here in the living room and then eat ice cream. I’ll be around.

Heaving breasteses? Where?

13) The thread comments stop because the Mean Girl commenters have all snuck off to The New Thread (and they deliberately didn’t tell you!). Yes it is just like High School. Your only recourse is to pick on one of the weaker commenters and hope you get accepted. I suggest Spengler Dampniche as he is a newly published author and is desperate for approval – go compare his book unfavourably to Left Behind in terms of relative sales or characterization or whatever. It’s a zombie-eats-zombie world out there.

Mr VS is watchin’ football so I’m up in the boudoir on my iDevices. So boring old me will be here too.

“Before applying CPR, the thread’s breasts aren’t exactly heaving.”

Are too cuz it’s gasping for air! *sticks out tongue*

Mrs. Revolta & I just washed a big, hairy dog in the bathtub. New Year’s Eve is
officially SWINGIN’!!

The thread comments stop because the Mean Girl commenters have all snuck off to The New Thread

Wait a minute… are you saying that Lacey Chabert posts comments here, and I didn’t know about it?

AWOOOOOO!!!!

New Year’s Eve is
officially SWINGIN’!!

Do you have a designated drier?

Happy New Year, you crazy buncha bastids you.

Nah, who wants a desiccated Rover?

Esp. for the Bastard, alone in the night (but you other M.C. Pigs w/ your voyeuristic male gaze can get in on it) a selection of “‘Fit Birds” from Mr. Door Tree.

Nah, who wants a desiccated Rover?

It probably would have helped Number Six escape.

Hah! I’m already semi-hungover, having been out ’till 3 AM last night. Tonight’s plan is a shortish visit to a small, low-key house party, then back home well before 2011. Might stay awake up to midnight, if only to issue a resounding blast on my African cattle-horn trumpet out on the back deck. Then it’s sacktime, and I’ll awaken refreshed and recharged tomorrow, while many of you-all are suffering from tonight’s excesses. Will refrain from perky gloating.

Seriously, that horn is LOUD. It’s close to three feet long and flares out to nearly 6″ ID at the base; we live on a small tree-lined river and the echo’s decay time is a good four-five seconds.

HNY

Forgot to mention that I whipped up some carrots with tarragon butter last summer that were pretty inspiring. Not the season now for fresh tarragon from our garden, tho. I’ll also add a pitch for parsnips– have a nice row of them that I’ve been digging for the last couple of months and they’re an amazingly versatile and wonderful winter veg.

Might stay awake up to midnight, if only to issue a resounding blast on my African cattle-horn trumpet out on the back deck

Ever put a cork in the mouthpiece and use it to drink mead?

Hmmmm… that’d be a lot of mead, none of which is sitting around chez Limpet at the moment. Do have about thirty gallons of hand-wrought wine, tho!

Interesting idea, and perhaps tomorrow I’ll cork it up and measure its grog-volume with mere water as the testing medium.

Interesting idea, and perhaps tomorrow I’ll cork it up and measure its grog-volume with mere water as the testing medium.

New Year’s resolution!

Will duly issue report. Over and out for the nonce.

*2011 – International Year Of The Sadlynaut*

NERD RAEG Dept.: Just got myself a portable 500 GB external HD & am now emitting epic levels of Anglo-Saxon vernacular as I try to get it to behave (after having foolishly deleted my original backup plan, the small-but-mighty beast won’t seem to let me either resore it OR try a new one that does the same thing without mindlessly cloning all the pr0nz, vidya games & stupid lolcat jpegs vital information I spent circa 5 hours last night meticulously saving … & teh Baby Alan Turing wept). Next up: Googling “traditional Siberian shaman who also does tech support” & “free local exorcist.”

The AutoSync whatzit seems to do the same job anyway, so I’m pretty sure I’m just being emo for naught. My Nerd Fail – let me show you it. Oh well, it could be worse. Good thing I’m too old to blush.

Following my usual nonconformist tradition (LOLWUT), I will soon welcome in the dawn of 2011 at work, with no mobs of yowling partiers blowing noisemakers whilst puking on my shoes, no big countdown, no party-hat … just oodles of peace & quiet (save for the odd vehicle honking to beat the band going by) along with yet more delicious holiday pay.

How did I find this joint?

Mystical fairies* brought me here years ago in order to rescue my waning sanity from the toll of living in a dark & terrifying kingdom** where critical thinking is subject to censorship, taxation & sometimes-deadly punishment – while a few brave idealist rebels hiding in the shadows struggle to defend reason, liberty & truth in the face of an ever more powerful evil empire whose overlords are bent on dragging us into a new Dark Age.

Also, PENIS.

——————————————–
* = INTERNETS LOL
** = Earth

Marx Brothers marathon on Turner Classic Movies tonight!

OK, ball dropped.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, you magnificent mutants!

ENJOY YOUR LAST HAPPY NEW YEAR BEFORE SHARIA LAW TAKES OVER! ARGLE BARGLE!

Uh, but until then, under current Amurrican law, I have to worry about getting shot by the jackasses shooting off pistols in my semi-ghetto neighborhood right now. Poop.

I have to worry about getting shot by the jackasses shooting off pistols in my semi-ghetto neighborhood right now.

Same thing for me. Staying away from the windows.

I lived in NYC for 22 years…………….although I’m a goddamned Midwesterner now, I’ve got no illusions about when New Year’s happens.

Enjoy, you crazy bastards.

Nitwit Bachmann explains how she became a Republican because of Gore Vidal:

http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2010/12/30/michele_bachmann_gore_vidal/index.html

Well, at least she was reading a book. <– Sarah Palin joke.

I'll file this under "Robin of Berkeley" and others: if you're this fucking nutz, or if you're this much of an RWA that you get outraged that somebody mention some non-hagiographic details of our FOUNDING FATHERS! (inspired by GAWD-uh!) then get the fuck out, you didn't belong in our clubhouse in the first place. What were you doing here? Wassadmaddawitchyou, huh? Wassadmaddawitchyou? (Spider was shot for less.)

That Salon link leads to this interesting video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLyvszhFAC4

Gore Vidal on Crossfire, hosted by Pat Buchanan and Tom Braden. Having a quiet, civilized discussion about Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Abe Lincoln, etc. My, how TV has changed since 1984. People finish sentences.

Wow, does today look like "Idiocracy" compared to that. They talk all pompous and faggy.

Uh, but until then, under current Amurrican law, I have to worry about getting shot by the jackasses shooting off pistols in my semi-ghetto neighborhood right now. Poop.

Just a couple of firecrackers here in my Safe Northeastern Home.

Rules of thumb for new lurkers

Zebbidie (& Looch): Thank you! I copied the text of all 13.

I figured out some of the Rules through long-time lurking. Rule 6 eluded me, however: I imagined the Mom jokes as peculiar to the individuals…and I was reluctant to ask.

Serious Suggestion: S,N! could create a Lurker Tips tab on the Home Page. Perhaps collaboratively generated by long-time SadlyNauts, with the same sort of wit, goofiness,and friendliness that weaves through every thread. I’ve got no idea how sites or blogs work (or else I might try one) so I’m tossing this idea out to the ‘Nauts and Most Esteemed, Majestic, and Magificent Rulers of this Odd Kingdom (however it works.)

Rule 6 eluded me, however:

You may want to steer clear of Rule 34.

MB: Thank you for the link.

I lingered on some especially striking women, and imagined them as artist’s models. How might Vermeer have painted her? Or she, sitting for a Holbein portrait. Or there! Shaped in erotic stone by Bernini. I copied my favorites to photo galleries. There, I experimented with cropping. composition for my eye.

I’ve always resonated to woman. In flesh and in art.

Again, thanks.

No, leaving the monniker unchanged is not an oversight.

I’m sure you know someone in your lives that has a hard time during the holiday season. I am such a person: I’m spending New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day alone, as I did Thanksgiving and Christmas. As I have for many years.

Sadly, No! has helped relieve my sorrow during this whole season, or made it easier to bear. The humor, goofiness, and spontaneous wit here has been an oasis for me. Thank you all.

Several threads ago, I mentioned that a friend loaned me the complete DVD set of The Wire to help get me through, some marathon immersion in something else. I watched the final episode last night, and wrote down this line:

“Ain’t no shame in holding onto grief, as long as you make room for other things too.” — Bubbles

Best Wishes to all for the New Year. Be safe on the roads.

I’m spending New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day alone

I’m stuck at work- we’re kinda short-staffed. It’s tranquil, though.

The holidays can be rough.

B4: I always used to volunteer to work the holidays in the service. We ran a 24-hour shop. I always took two back-to-back shifts in the Watch Office. It freed up other soldiers to be with their families, and it helped me to do something good for other and I could pretend it was Just Another Day. Did the same thing at the radio station: Signed on in the morning, iron-manned straight through, and shut the equipment off at night.

Sorry you’ve drawn duty tonight. And thanks for understanding. I’m bailing now for a hot shower and clouds of steam. That usually relaxes me; I’ll try to sleep. I hope the shift work is light. HNY.

B4: What is your profession? From earlier threads, my working supposition is health care and/or public safety. Are you in an ER? A firehouse? Perhaps an EMT? From your blog photo, I can easily imagine you in those environments.

Also, is it hard to set up a blog? Could you recommend how to go about it, or shoot me some links? I like yours and would welcome suggestions.

I’m still too wired for sleep. Too much coffee. I’ll check back in two hours or so.

Your mom has, unbeknownst to you, been engaged in sexual congress with dozens of the male commenters here. Indeed she financed your education by doing this. So stop feeling all butthurt.

just the male commentators?

S,N! could create a Lurker Tips tab on the Home Page.

You know who else had Lurkers tips… exactly….

OK, ball dropped.

Ah. So that’s where it went.

Never mind.

Happy new year, all. Let’s hope it’ll be better than the last.

Also, is it hard to set up a blog?

I fear that setting one up may be the easy part. Having something to say, and luring various insane and verbose folks to participate might be the hard bit.

http://wordpress.com/
is one place to start. Fairly easy, really. I done it myself, but alas, I’ve yet to post anything, lazy fucking hippie that I am.

There are other similar sites that offer hosting and templates and whatnot, including their own sets of aggravation, eliciting the equivalent of the hearty FYWPs seen here.

Blogger,
https://www.blogger.com
is the other biggie, I suppose.

You know who else had Lurkers tips…

Your mom?

B4: What is your profession? From earlier threads, my working supposition is health care and/or public safety.

I work for an educational nonprofit which needs 24 hr/365 day staff- if you ever get to the NY metro area, I’ll tell you all about it over a beer.

Also, is it hard to set up a blog? Could you recommend how to go about it, or shoot me some links? I like yours and would welcome suggestions.

I use “blogger”, linked by justme. It’s really easy to use, uploads are a breeze. You can set up a blog in minutes.

You know who else had Lurkers tips…

Ain’t got a clue

I got nothin’. Still, happy new year, you magnificent bastards (and -ettes)!

You may want to steer clear of Rule 34.

Why? Looks good to me.

Why? Looks good to me.

Strosspr0n would probably be pretty scary!

B4 & justme: Thanks.

So, monsieur Whiplash, have you started blogging?

Happy January 1, everyone

I’ve always resonated to woman. In flesh and in art.

So have I. Usually first thing in the morning, if the west coast feed of The Movie Channel has porn.

Happy January 1, everyone

You up early, or late?

Early. I was crashed during “Monkey Business”

Early. I was crashed during “Monkey Business”

Hopefully, your partner will forgive you.

Morning, dudes! Happy New Year!

I fell asleep around 10:30 last night after an exciting day of:

Cooking
Cleaning
Speed waddling walking
Napping
Makin’ Arts
Angry Birds!
Watchin’ “Easy A” (cute…nothing special)
Makin’ din-din

Crap. Forgot to masturbate and poop. I’ll have to pencil those in today.

Hopefully, your partner will forgive you.

My right hand was already sleeping

Another lurker tip:

These are not our real names.

Just so you know.

Crap. Forgot to masturbate and poop. I’ll have to pencil those in today.

Aim for non-simultaneity.

I would also urge newbs to NEVER look directly at actor’s etchings.

“Aim for non-simultaneity.”

I was waitin’ for someone to make that joke. N_B, as usual, is on the ball.

It’s not my fault that the world contains fountains of straight-lines.

It’s not my fault that the world contains fountains of straight-lines.

Another noob tip:

Straight lines are found when you least expect it. Take no offense, they are tje essential building blocks of life around here.

That, and POOP, of course.

Oh, and proofread. Always a good idea unless you like Svedish spelling.

Jah. You betcha.

Straight lines are found when you least expect it. Take no offense, they are tje essential building blocks of life around here.

That, and POOP, of course.

Pro tip: Straight lines require less straw when block-making.

Happy New Year. Hey, VS, good luck on the to-do list. Little bebe Trisstessa Non can complicate either task.

I spent a very pleasant evening with OPAs (Other People’s Animals), specifically the sweetest dog in the ‘verse and a very fine eldercat, and we turned in early. The family had a Netflix DVD of “Easy A”. We also found it cute, but nothing special. I know this makes me sound like I hate new things, but I don’t mean it that way…but for me, it’ll be hard to ever match the teen-age girl adventure flick Adventures in Babysitting. Same basic formula: get girl up in tree, throw rocks at girl, watch girl get down from tree and kick ass, plus the coda of girl meeting an actual nice perceptive kind boy. It’s a fun formula.

Oh that old New Year. Heh heh we had that ages ago! Antipodically.
I cannot rest whilst the calumny about Mr McGravitas’s pictures of distended anuses stands or bends over or slouches toward a literary reference that I cannot remember.
Mr McGravitas pushes his little barrow of distended anus pictures through the streets selling them to raise money to put children on his table, in all weathers. And this is how he is repaid!!!
I shan’t be back

shan’t

In American, that’s spelled “shat.”

What!?!? He is really William Shan’tner??? I realise that he was Canuckistanian and all

Another Kiwi makes me LARF!

Here’s a pressie for you– Brett’s Angry Dance :

FRICK!!

He is really William Shan’tner???

If only.

True story: about eight years ago, I’m wandering through midtown with a friend, both of us drunk. The bar in which we had achieved drunkenness closed at 2 AM and we were looking for another that was still open. Our wandering took us in the unfortunate direction of Times Square.

We were waiting for a light to change and my gaze fell upon a short fat man with a tall woman on each arm. He was wearing an ill-fitting tux, they were wearing not much. I said to my friend “Check out this horrifying sight” as they got nearer, then I realized it was Cap’n Kirk.

VS – your video URL is malformed. Hang your head* in shame.

*VP-notanotomicallycorrectR

Yikes, one would be hoping that one was seeing things.

Malformed videos? VS, you too are joining the McGravitas empire???

Never begrudge Tiberius his arm candy, bitches!

Tiberius?

Let’s try this again. Pressie for Another Kiwi

Also…there’s a new thread.

Still malformed, if you ask me.

Ohhh Brett was rilly angry!!!
Thanks VS

Still malformed, if you ask me

… & even worse, stupid YouTube won’t even let you give a thumbs-up to a malformed URL. MALFORMOPHOBES!

Ohhh Brett was rilly angry!!!

Holy inverse ratios, Batman, talk about brutal context: I’ve got near-twigs for arms … but that boy has capillaries for arms. No wonder he’s chuffed – it looks like if he bitch-slapped you his arm would come off at the elbow & fly away like a meat-frisbee.

Don’t make Bret do his Angry Dance at you!

These are not our real names.

The hell you say?

Signed
Actor212™®©????