Jun
1
1
Rolling Out The Summer Product Line
If the wingnuts can have nasty T-shirts, then so shall we!
[beaming innocently]
All in the next couple of weeks. (We’ve been working like little ugly elves.)
UPDATE:
Oh, lots. Here’s another one:
Â
Â
Bradrocket adds: Here’s the inspiration for Gavin’s shirt, for those who require context:
Also: Gavin, has Pinko Punko trademarked the term “Cobag” yet? ‘Cause amigo, we can make a damn fortune off that design…
Ken Houghton said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:18
Strange Fruit, indeed.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:21
So you don’t like conservatives, therefore you make shirts to express your hatred against them and recommend that they be killed?
Imagine a shirt like that except with the word “nigger” in the place of conservative. You can’t imagine it, can’t you? But conservatives aren’t worthy of the same rights as others, now are they?
Cameron said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:24
Um, maybe I’m cofused, but it looks this could be taken as a threat rather than snark. sorry
tigrismus said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:26
But I don’t want nasty shirts, I want ones with kitten bombers and cats driving. *pout*
Khonsu said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:26
Witty, but it’s pretty bleak, don’t you think? I’ve never seen a shirt lauding the lynching of a liberal (it’s kind of sickly Ironic, too).
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:30
Cameron, Khonsu I am glad to see that I am not the only person appalled by this image.
Brad R. said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:31
I’ve never seen a shirt lauding the lynching of a liberal (it’s kind of sickly Ironic, too).
Maybe it would help if Gav posted IMAO’s super-hilarious “Rope. Tree. Journalist.” shirt. That provides the necessary context.
Brad R. said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:32
Um, maybe I’m cofused, but it looks this could be taken as a threat rather than snark. sorry
Again, I direct you to IMAO’s “Ropetreejournalist” ha-ha laughfest shirt.
Khonsu said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:33
Ouch. Do’ya mean journalism students, too? You know, because it seems they’d want to nip us in the bud.
mikey said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:35
Hmm. I don’t like the whole rope thing because of the KKK conotations. Seems like maybe the focus group is a little, well, taken aback around that one. What else ya got?
mikey
El Gato Negro! said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:37
¿Ees eet no too much to ask that all of la retórica eliminationista remain on the Republiculo side of the fencing?
Eenstead, try thees:
-Conservative.
-Orange Jumpsuit.
-Leg-Irons
Some Assembly Required.
or thees:
-Democrat.
-Spine.
Some Assembly Required.
(spine not included een DLC Models)
Let thees leetle thugs keep their obsession about elimination to themselves,
they only do eet because they can no breeng-teh-funny.
so.
Ben said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:47
I agree w/ El Gato & the other focus group members. We can’t rely on a random viewer getting the context; I sure didn’t. (Although I assumed there was something like it from the comment about wingnuts having their nasty shirts.)
JiuNoon said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:48
I would put forward the idea of making a parody of their “Celebrate Diversity” shirt with either a picture of the overwhelmingly caucasian Republican Congress or with the names of companies owned by the corporate oligopolies thanks to the “free market” tactics of the right. Or perhaps a WW3 shirt with the Republican “W”.
I could have made a Coulter joke, but this shirt actually seems like it’s doing my job for me: http://www.thoseshirts.com/coulter.html
mikey said,
June 1, 2006 at 21:55
I had never heard of IMAO, so I went to see what it was. Right there, front page a couple of gems. First, do these people even know ABOUT irony? Not just the definition, but the CONCEPT?? Here’s a quote:
Why do we pay Kos any attention? Not only is he a despicable human being, he’s yet to successfully help any candidate win office. He may have a lot of fringe nuts behind him, but they’re still fringe nuts.
Umm, dood? KOS has fringe nuts behind him? And who the HELL are the peeps reading THIS CRAP:
Some Marines may have massacred civilians at Haditha, so now everyone is getting “values training.” Oy. I had the “Don’t Indiscriminately Kill Children” training at work, and it was really boring. I completely zoned out after about ten minutes of it. I didn’t get a thing out of it, and, if you asked me when it’s appropriate to open fire on children, I honestly don’t know.
And don’t care.
Nope, I really enjoy Sadly, No. And I don’t want it to be anything like IMAO.
Just sayin
mikey
melior (in Austin) said,
June 1, 2006 at 22:04
Don’t forget the cute little baby tees for the younguns!
- My Daddy is a Yellow Underwear Chickenhawk
- Future Junior 101st Keyboardist Battle Commander
And the bilingual Messican frriendly versions!
- No Me Gusto Jorge Arbusto
melior (in Austin) said,
June 1, 2006 at 22:08
You know, it’s possible to be even more direct.
- I’m Scared Of Brown People
- Help! Save Me From Teh Terrorist Suiciders! Waah!
- Jesus Hates You Cause You’re Not Rich And White Like Me
- Stop Having Sex, It’s Icky
Chadwick said,
June 1, 2006 at 22:16
Reagan in a diaper.
Abu-Ghraib-style guy (hooded with wires) in Lady Liberty crown and torch.
Shirt with “What’s the last thing that went through Barbara Olsen’s mind?” on the front and a picture of an airplane fuselage on the back.
Picture of Osama with moniker “I destroyed the WTC and all I got was away with it”
Photoshoped Rick Santorum in Joan Crawford Drag, with wire hanger or ax
“Jesus would have: thrown you out of the Temple” or “:burned your Mega-Chruch to the ground”
Vladi G said,
June 1, 2006 at 22:18
But if I put a Cobag sticker on my car, isn’t that like calling myself a Cobag? I don’t wanna call myself a Cobag.
Grotesqueticle said,
June 1, 2006 at 22:30
I’m down with all of El Gato Negro’s suggestions, ditto melior, JiuNoon and Chadwick.
Civil Liberties? We don’t need no stinking Civil Liberties.
Don’t you know that 9/11 changed everything?
It was necessary to destroy America, in order to save it.
Tommy Yum said,
June 1, 2006 at 22:33
How ’bout:
COKE. NOSE.
PRESIDENT.
Some Jack Daniels
required.
Gavin M. said,
June 1, 2006 at 22:37
But if I put a Cobag sticker on my car, isn’t that like calling myself a Cobag? I don’t wanna call myself a Cobag.
It’s designed to be put on other people’s cars…
dbati said,
June 1, 2006 at 22:50
Republicans, Lies, Graft.
NO ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.
Put a picture of Jacky boy in his black fedora on it, and you’re golden.
COBAGZ!!!1!!!!
Chadwick said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:05
Spoof Ad for O’Reilly’s *special* Hummus mix
Pseudo military shirts assigning ranks (General, Lt., etc.) for the War on Christmas
“Ann Coulter could change a Queers mind- You know, if she were a woman.”
Condoleeza photoshopped onto an Uncle Bens-esque “Instant War” box.
Laura Bush photoshopped into Marie Antionette Drag
Ari Fliescher, Scott Mclelan, and Tony Snow pictured side by side with the gaping sex-doll mouth photoshopped onto all three.
Conservative Christian: n. Satanist with Tacky-Ass Thomas Kincaid painting.
tg said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:08
With the inability of these folks to understand irony, sarcasm, or any other of the more subtle forms of humor, I think something along the lines of
If you voted for the asshole, then you’re an asshole too.
might work. Good title for a country song, too … I’ll get right on that.
Gavin M. said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:13
Condoleeza photoshopped onto an Uncle Bens-esque “Instant War� box.
Oh, we got in trouble for that with Steve Gilliard. Aunt Condi’s Insta-white Rice, or something.
TS said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:13
This pleases me.
An idea: rather than a noose, perhaps a silhouetted hanging elephant, swinging softly against the backdrop of a clusterbombed village?
The image loses some of its pithiness, yes, and graphically it’s probably a tad more difficult. (This can also work with a chickenhawk, but that’s only if Ed Morrissey hasn’t taken all the fun out of it.)
TS said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:16
Ah, I should have said “simply” a noose, as certainly one is required to hang an elephant.
blogenfreude said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:25
“Cobag” so needs a Wikipedia entry …
Martin Wisse said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:27
Ha!
I was way ahead of you with those first shirts.
However, I dislike the increased use of cobag instead of douchebag. People who have to use colostomy bags have trouble enough using them without being reminded of wingnuts every time!
Chadwick said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:35
(No racist intent with Condoleeza, but I understand- how about!… Condoleeza in “Condi Drew and the Case of the Missing Yellowcake”.)
Judge. Jail Sentence. Republican.
Some Assembly Required
Laura Bush’s car has killed more people than my sex life.
James Dobson thinks about sucking cock more than I do.
Picture of Governor Arnold. Beneath that Ruler section clipped off at 2 inches. Beneath that: “Don’t Do Steroids.”
Picture of Midwestern white guy holding clearly labeled Agriculture Subsidy. Beneath: Welfare Queen. (Could do a line including military contractors, etc.)
Lucy said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:36
What about people who use douchebags? In the words of Abigail Adams to her husband, “Consider the ladies.” That’s why I love “cobags”–it’s gender-neutral. I do sympathize with your concern, though. Use of a douchebag is not representative of a serious and troublesome routine; it’s purely elective, not to mention unnecessary. I do regret that it seems someone must necessarily be put out no matter what vilely humorous epithet we construct.
Chadwick said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:45
Does “scumbag” just not carry enough negative resonance to work? I’m more than willing to disrespect Spertmatazoa-Americans, but only if there’s a good reason.
(Perhaps we should ask liberal colostomy bag users their opinion- I imagine a few might see the humor in dripping their waste into a cobagz open mouth…)
khonsu said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:51
Shirt image: Simpering, 1950’s woman.
Text: “Oh! If only the government controlled ALL parts of my life, not JUST my reproductive rights!”
Shirt image: An airplane similar to the AIRPLANE! “curly plane” with the words “Powerline Airlines” on the side.
Text: “Oh stewardess! I speak Groganese!”
Possible text on back: “Red-state ass mama don’t got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!”
Katter said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:51
Yes, because we all know that we should imitate the wingnuts. They’re such great role models.
RSA said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:55
I agree with mikey–bad connotations, the rope thing. But there could be a useful spin on it: “White sheet, scissors, conservative. Some assembly required.” Or something like that. Call a spade a spade.
MO said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:55
That first poster should say: “Conservative. GI Kit. Iraq” but that is probably way too subtle for the wingnuts
khonsu said,
June 1, 2006 at 23:56
Not so much imitation as satire, although I think the line gets more and more blurred as the comedic mind supposedly “evolves” in this country.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
June 2, 2006 at 0:04
All this goes to show is that the Democrats have no true leadership and have reverted to a lynch mob mentality. All conservatives are KKK, hang ‘em! Send ‘em to the Gulag!
Democrats disgust me.
J. A. Baker said,
June 2, 2006 at 0:22
Witty, but it’s pretty bleak, don’t you think? I’ve never seen a shirt lauding the lynching of a liberal (it’s kind of sickly Ironic, too).
Never, Khonsu?
Oh, and Shoelimpy™©, in light of the above, just who is suggesting that a certain class of citizens deserves no rights by virtue of their political leanings?
Seriously, if the right is going to engage in eliminationist rhetoric, they shouldn’t be surprised when they find that some liberals are “Not Ready to Make Nice.”
blogenfreude said,
June 2, 2006 at 0:36
Cell Phone - I.E.D. - Neocon … some assembly required ….
Just a thought.
fiver said,
June 2, 2006 at 0:39
Eh, it’s funny, but the people the joke is aimed at are so thick that they’d just take it as further evidence of the “unhinged” left.
I’d rather have a Pastor Swank shirt, personally. Maybe with, to quote Dr. Myers daughter’s blog, “Homophobes are gay” on it.
Rob G said,
June 2, 2006 at 0:44
CONSERVATIVES
SPACESHIP
DIRECTIONS TO ALPHA CENTAURI
Front end loader required
Now, you can’t say that’s eliminationist.
ironranger said,
June 2, 2006 at 0:47
I noticed that the adorable journalist-rope tshirt in size small and 3X were already sold out. I am getting images of 300# parents & kids in matching tshirts.
Tulkinghorn said,
June 2, 2006 at 1:28
Front: ” A Quiz:” — pictures of Coulter, Malkin, et al.
Back: “Who shall be first up against the wall, come the revolution?”
Bluemoon said,
June 2, 2006 at 1:39
I think you should change it to say “NeoCons” instead of “Conservatives.” Because traditionally, hanging is for traitors. Or maybe you could have an image of a chair & a rope with the words, “Got Rove?” or “Got NeoCons.”
I sincerely believe the top tier of Bu$hInc - the actual architects & profiteers - should be apprehended & tried for international war crimes & sent to the Hague.
Perhaps that seems harsh but they are literally traitors. Their fidelity is only to a cabal of multinationals & each one of them who swore an oath to defend our Constitution has commited high crimes, let alone misdemeanors. They’ve tortured- in our name.
And so many people have died as a result of their lies. On both sides.
So yeah. Hang em High.
People are sensitive about hanging as a metaphor, by the way.
tomwashere said,
June 2, 2006 at 2:25
how about a picture of saddam in a turban and the words kill saddamma bin laden
tomwashere said,
June 2, 2006 at 2:25
or don’t blame me, i voted for nader
or 100,000 iraqis beyond the reach of tyranny
JiuNoon said,
June 2, 2006 at 2:36
Or, for all you Tick fans, there’s always this route:
JiuNoon said,
June 2, 2006 at 2:37
Okay, no images. Here: http://www.thetick.ws/images/dean.jpg
Some Guy said,
June 2, 2006 at 3:12
On behalf of my clients, The Arbor Society and International Rope and Twine, Inc., I must insist you refrain from defaming through false association the good name and reputation of ropes and trees. You have been notified.
Trenton Law Firm
(Injured? Call Today!)
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
June 2, 2006 at 3:13
I would respond to some of the comments that are being directed towards me, however it appears that I am under special moderation thanks to our hosts.
Spamlimpyâ„¢ said,
June 2, 2006 at 3:19
All I have to say is Gavin, Brad, Travis, Retardo, you guys are and will always be the most brilliant people on the planet. Love the poster, love the bumper sticker. I think if anything the poster is not strong enough, we should have a picture of a gun with the words Gun. Conservative. Brains splattered all over the asphalt. Some assembly required. That would be da shiznit! Boo-yah!
Spamlimpyâ„¢ said,
June 2, 2006 at 3:23
“or don’t blame me, i voted for nader”
Nader voters unite!
Chuckles said,
June 2, 2006 at 3:46
A picture of Jonah Goldberg asking, “Just what is a cobag anyway?”
and
Pastor Swank responding, “I am not really sure.”
mikey said,
June 2, 2006 at 3:58
Assasins Brown Cobagzzz!!!111!! Global….
mikey
Spamlimpyâ„¢ said,
June 2, 2006 at 4:08
I hate to be the one to do this, but: The Truth About Brad R.
Pinko Punko said,
June 2, 2006 at 4:12
So, is Shoelimpyâ„¢ back with annie, because I’m gonna kick his ass for what he did to my little rose-flower. I also love how context is completely absent from his/its empty head. Thanks, Shoeâ„¢, thanks for stealing annie’s bank card and being a turdmuffin.
Also, a golden onion wiener to the first person that applies to and sends Three Bulls! a picture of: COBAG sticker attached to Hummer, H2, Expedition, Armada, F350, etc. This is a dangerous mission, possibly skirting the boundaries of the law. We are not responsible for your behavior, but will post said photo as a warning to the rest of you that such behavior will be rewarded with virtual onion rings that are valueless in real world dollars.
Timmah420 said,
June 2, 2006 at 4:47
Shirt image: An airplane similar to the AIRPLANE! “curly plane� with the words “Powerline Airlines� on the side.
Text: “Oh stewardess! I speak Groganese!�
Possible text on back: “Red-state ass mama don’t got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!�
I don’t think anyone outside of this site is gonna get that one. Kind of a nieche market there.
Charlotte Smith said,
June 2, 2006 at 4:51
I always wanted to make a “Spot the Terrorist” T-shirt with a picture of Timothy McVeigh surrounded by pictures of ordinary folk who just happen to be swarthy-looking. I expect - nay, hope - that someone’s beaten me to it :)
Mo's Bike Shop said,
June 2, 2006 at 5:28
Pic of flight-suit-george + “Mission Creep”{
pseudonymous in nc said,
June 2, 2006 at 5:43
So you don’t like conservatives, therefore you make shirts to express your hatred against them and recommend that they be killed?
Only if you volunteer to be first, performance troll.
pseudonymous in nc said,
June 2, 2006 at 5:46
Actually, Bradrocket, I’d prefer:
g said,
June 2, 2006 at 5:54
Hey, I notice shoelimpy commented above. Does he have any explanation for his abandonment of Annieangel?
Some Guy said,
June 2, 2006 at 6:01
I always wanted to make a “Spot the Terrorist� T-shirt with a picture of Timothy McVeigh surrounded by pictures of ordinary folk who just happen to be swarthy-looking
This is beautiful.
Or Eric Rudolph with, “We all know what a terrorist looks like.”
Pinko Punko said,
June 2, 2006 at 6:27
Shoelimpyâ„¢ outed BRad R. at his place, and he’s back in the blogging saddle with double-a because they have a new merch store together. Of course, you can get an awesome “I Hate Shoelimpyâ„¢” T-shirt, so things are still unclear.
Pinko Punko said,
June 2, 2006 at 6:29
Also, I need to reiterate that the connection between a cobag and someone that has to use one is tenuous. Can one really argue that a bag of poop is not disgusting, no matter how unfortunate it is that someone has to use one because of a bad disease? Being an actual bag of poop and having to use one to poop are completely different, and I respectuflly stand against the language police on this one.
Pinko Punko said,
June 2, 2006 at 6:51
Do I detect the proverbial chirping of the proverbial cannibal crickets, Senor Shoestimpy?
cowalker said,
June 2, 2006 at 7:03
I just lobotomized an alligator.
Now it’s a Republican.
Random Guy said,
June 2, 2006 at 8:18
How ’bout this? A T-Shirt with, in large font, the words “call out if you read Newsmax [or substitute some other wingnut publication].
Then, below that, in much smaller font, so I’ll know to instantly discount your opinions.
Too verbose?
El Gato Negro! said,
June 2, 2006 at 9:08
Thees area behind the ovalado containing the word how-joo-say “cobag”:
She should be bright, republiculo, rrred.
no?
so.
haze4horses said,
June 2, 2006 at 14:32
T-shirt idea : Picture of John Stuart Mill - caption - “I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it.”
gjdodger said,
June 2, 2006 at 15:50
you guys are lame.
picture of an anthropomorphized elephant, a bullet hole between the eyes.
caption:
“it stood between me and my country.”
LanceThruster said,
June 2, 2006 at 20:01
Several shirt/poster ideas
1) picture of post-Katrina body floating facedown in floodwaters with caption - Bush’s “Culture of Life” -
2) picture of Cheney as Elmer Fudd in the WB cartoon circle. Top half of circle says “Major League Asshole” Bottom half says “Big Time”
3) collect/list GOP monikers
God’s Own Party
Greedy Old Pigs
Rethuglicans
Repigliscum
Bushistas
Kool-Aid Drinkers
Wingnnuts
Asshats
Crooks and Liars
etc..
~ follow with ~
A “Turd Blossom” by any other name would smell as foul
John said,
June 2, 2006 at 21:22
personally, ive always wanted a tee shirt with william tecumseh sherman on it. then everyone who says that “the rebel flag is my heritage” can have a response of “this is mine.” also, i like the idea of “yo momma so dumb, shes a republican.” then again, im permanently stuck in 1994.
Fezzik said,
June 2, 2006 at 22:27
Nice, simple, straightforward:
Osama’s Head, with the caption
“I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not that important. It’s not our priority.”
- G.W. Bush, 3/13/02
GuinnessGuy said,
June 3, 2006 at 8:29
I like Fezzik’s suggestion– though the caption could also be used with a WTC silhouette that has above it “Remember 9-11″ ala the shrieker conservative shirts that are intended to provoke an emotional response in favor of the GWOT.
J. A. Baker said,
June 3, 2006 at 8:38
Or, to go GuinnessGuy and Fezzik (are there rocks ahead?) one better, have an image of the WTC burning on 9/11 with the “Dead or alive” gag-inducer up top and the “not our priority” quote at the bottom.
GuinnessGuy said,
June 3, 2006 at 12:39
Oh, what a capital suggestion, J.A.– I’ve never actually seen one of those; the conservatives in my neck of the woods have the good taste to avoid wearing such exploitative clothing in general.
Still, the greater the contrast, the greater the effect, and therefore I suggest we add a “Never Forget!” in there and call it a job well done.
The Crapture said,
June 5, 2006 at 21:50
Shelimpy, et al.
I think the “Rope ,Tree, Conservative” thing is fair game. Fuck this faux civility issue that the right wingers are always crying about through one side of their mouths while spewing some really hateful shit from the other.
Turning the other cheek might work for Jesus, but it won’t get us anywhere dealing with the assclowns who claim to be His followers
i take it you’ve never seen the ever so cute amusing and innocent “Liberal Hunting License” that some of the wingnuts have popped out here and there
No, no implied threats there. Heaven forbid we get the idea that there are wingnuts out there who mean us harm, right?
The Crapture said,
June 5, 2006 at 22:50
ShOelimpy (sorry, last post was a typo, honest)
here’s another one from cafepress: http://www.cafepress.com/rightwingstuff/166098
and another one
wait… am i detecting a theme here?
who knows, maybe I’m just imagining these things
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Blog Archive » I Must Condemn This Behavior! said,
July 18, 2006 at 22:41
[...] UPDATE to the UPDATE: Just so’s not to cheat you of Sadly, No!’s original art, here’s a link to the original. Of course we have a screenshot. What do you think we are? LIBERAL?. Posted by Emperor Darth Misha I @ 10:41 am | [...]
Patterico’s Pontifications » I Condemn It All said,
July 18, 2006 at 23:02
[...] If you go to the Sadly, No! main page, there are four buttons at the top. One says “Store.” If you click on it, you get to a Cafe Press store with some items for sale bearing the logo: Rope. [...]
Patterico’s Pontifications » In Which I Condemn Glenn Greenwald for Failing to Condemn Some Stuff said,
July 19, 2006 at 8:11
[...] By the way, the idea to sell these items occurred to the Sadly, No! folks back on June 1, 2006. The commenters were largely appalled at the “parody”: Shoelimpyâ„¢ said, [...]
Sniper One said,
July 19, 2006 at 19:43
Rope.
Tree.
Hamas/Hezbollah/Al Qaeda/CAIR…
Some Assembly Required.
Sadly, No! » Return Of The Man From U.R.K.E.L. said,
July 19, 2006 at 21:56
[...] You can see the never-sold, voted-down parody T-shirt that used to be in our store which hasn’t even opened yet here. [...]
ahem said,
July 19, 2006 at 23:40
Clue.
Stick.
Wingnut Trolls.
Some Application Required.
FUBAR said,
July 20, 2006 at 1:33
I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT ALOT
Caffiend said,
July 20, 2006 at 19:47
Sherman BBQ Tour of the South
Sadly, no picture (on the site)….
http://www.warshows.com/Detail.bok?no=8935
I am SO tempted.