18
Mmm… needs more dog
Kaye Grogan unleashes a zoo of metaphors:
You roar like “lions” at the first sign of trouble, and then you run like kittens up a tree cowering ? until the heat in the kitchen has cooled. Instead of sticking up for your colleagues you throw them into the lion’s den and haul freight! In other words ? you look like a bunch of shaking rattles!
Woof.
If I were a politician ? I would sock it to em’ punch for punch. Turning the other cheek in politics is like throwing a chicken in the direction of a fox.
Are you ready for Kaye’s Rock em’ Sock em’ politics?
Let’s face it, politics has always been “down and dirty” ? but now the feuding is getting downright “unbearable.” The snarling can be heard for miles.
They’re not booing, they’re snarling.
The can of worms is now opened and on the move.
Hello Kaye? Is your refrigerator running? (Or: That can of worms is going places!)
Frying pans and euthanasia . . . strange association
And that’s just my medication!
Auguste said,
April 18, 2005 at 23:27
Me write pretty one day.
Buck said,
April 19, 2005 at 0:35
You’re kidding me, right? This can’t be a grown person writing. It’s one of those MIT CS pranks.
Hemlock Echo said,
April 19, 2005 at 1:03
Quick somebody find the key to Dr. Kevorkian’s prison cell and let him out! At least he can give a seminar on how to kill the elderly, terminally ill, and disabled ? softly.
Killing the eldery - softly… with his song?
Greg said,
April 19, 2005 at 2:09
Hey give Kaye a break! She has some skills, such as throwing out completely unsubstantiated facts when they conveniently support her point, or facts that are one hundred percent dead wrong. Most of us have scruples about lying in print and stuff like that.
parsec said,
April 19, 2005 at 4:12
Holy crap! The hippopotamus of metaphor squats! The dogs of euphony howl!
Andrew A. Gill said,
April 19, 2005 at 4:58
You knocked her block off!
Andrew A. Gill said,
April 19, 2005 at 5:05
You missed a quote:
Is Kaye endorsing anal sex?
teh l4m3 said,
April 19, 2005 at 7:14
It’s official: Kaye Grogan is the Jerri Blank of Wingnuttistan.
John E Thelin said,
April 19, 2005 at 8:54
This new infatuation she has with quotation marks (because she’s not been sprinkling them on everything before, has she?) really leads me to believe that Kaye is an invented character.
The tortured mixed metaphors just cannot be meant seriously, even by the most demented of writers.
Sandals said,
April 19, 2005 at 12:48
This couldn’t possibly, be a real person, could, it?
Flash said,
April 19, 2005 at 13:47
I have to “admit,” I find a person’s gratuitous use of “quotation marks” to be the most telling “sign” of intellectual laziness. It’s a common “grammatical error” that is easily avoided by people who “care” enough to not abuse the “language.” Misuse of apostrophe’s, like using them to form plural’s where theyre not needed and leaving them out when theyre needed, is another.
Bennet Brauer said,
April 19, 2005 at 16:44
Is someone complaining about Kaye’s use of quotation marks?
Well, maybe Kaye’s not “the norm”. She’s not “camera friendly”. She doesn’t “wear clothes that fit her”. She’s not a “heartbreaker”. She hasn’t “had sex with a man”; She doesn’t know “how that works”. She doesn’t “fall in line”. She’s not “hygenic”. She doesn’t “wipe properly”. She lacks “style”. She doesn’t have “charisma” or “self esteem”. She doesn’t “own a toothbrush” or “let her scabs heal”. She can’t “reach all the parts of her body”. When she sleeps, she “sweats profusely”.
But I guess the “powers that be” will keep signing her paycheck, at least until John and Jane Q. Reader start to go for the mouse so they can get back to reading commentators who don’t “frighten children” and don’t “eat their own dandruff” and don’t “pop their white heads with a compass they used in highschool”.
FlipYrWhig said,
April 19, 2005 at 16:53
You roar like “lions” at the first sign of trouble, and then you run like kittens up a tree cowering ? until the heat in the kitchen has cooled. Instead of sticking up for your colleagues you throw them into the lion’s den and haul freight!
So the kittens throw their colleagues into the lions’ den and haul freight? Hmm. This is a novel view of the muscular capacity of the housecat. I have two cats, Kaye; imagine the force at my command and despair!
olexicon said,
April 19, 2005 at 20:42
The can of worms is now opened and on the move.
that has got to be the most awkward killing and magling of a phrase i have ever seen
Davis said,
April 19, 2005 at 21:26
When is Kaye going to get out of the slums of Renew America and onto the cover of Time, where she belongs?
Vestal Vespa said,
April 19, 2005 at 22:28
The can of worms is now opened and on the move.
Why does this remind me of the giant tit from Woody Allens “Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex* But Were Afraid To Ask?”
The Dark Avenger said,
April 20, 2005 at 8:20
Someone should e-mail her to find out if it’s the can of worms that’s crawling over here, the can and the worms, etc.
Michael said,
April 20, 2005 at 16:00
Where’d these commas come from?
Oh. Never mind.
I swear, every time I see one of Kaye’s rants, I’m reminded of an old Usenet crackpot with similar punctuation issues: Andrew ,Beckwith
Michael said,
April 20, 2005 at 16:06
I swear the blockquotes looked right in preview.
Just another “example” of — the liberal Media and it’s “Blogs”, always trying, and, never succeeding, to — get things Right!
Tessie said,
April 20, 2005 at 19:44
>They’re not booing, they’re snarling.
I was saying “Boo-urns”.
BENTLEY'S WALLPAPERS said,
February 2, 2006 at 11:24
BENTLEY’S WALLPAPERS http://cancan.net MY HOME COLLECTION.
Robert Green said,
May 30, 2007 at 2:19
she’s a phrase serial killer. she’s the dahmer plus bundy of phrase-mangling. and, “eating”.
Shaky Jake said,
May 30, 2007 at 6:40
Feeding tubes are re inserted, not reinstated.